It is important for us to understand that there must be a yardstick or gauge that we can use to measure the love we so desperately crave.
• If we take it, as the world does, that it is self-esteem, then our yardstick is unsatisfactory—it falls terribly short and we will never discover the love we so long for. We can use all the tricks and tools of counselling to build our selfesteem, but none of it is a complete cure, although it may appear to help for a time.
• If we use as our yardstick, friendships and family—that too will fail us, for family and friends have a dreadful habit of being human just like we are. They will make mistakes and fail us in some way; in the same way we too will fail them.
• Maybe we strive to measure it by our own abilities—if they have not already fallen short, then there will come a day when we discover that they too are short lived and will only last whilst the strength of life and health exist.
• Ah...possibly you, like me, have thought your yardstick should be to have a good (Christian) husband and loving (Christian) children—this too falls short. They bring great blessing, but even though I live in peace and love with my husband and I know deep down our children love and respect us both...my thoughts at times still bring me low and I find myself asking of my husband “do you love me, but why do you love me?” Then our families (who live many miles away), do not contact me as much as I long for and once again my thoughts tell me lies such as “they don’t love me any more, I wonder what I’ve done? They don’t seem to need me—I’m of no use now I am older”.
You see all these things are yardsticks based on feelings, and feelings change according to circumstances, environments, health and relationships.
What can we use as our yardstick of love? It has to be the Word of God—for only it is truth unchanged and unable to be changed. Without this yardstick, we learn to cover up the emptiness and longing for love. For those outside of Christian circles, they may use—the art of becoming a great achiever, parties, drugs friends etc. However for those of us inside Christian circles all too often it is becoming overly busy—helping others, visiting and running Church programmes. Striving unconsciously in an attitude of SELFWILL WORSHIP, rather than quietly loving the Lord and seeking His guidance as to what He wants us to do.
the exact opposite. We are told 1 “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God”; 2 ‘that there is none that is righteous, no not one”; 3 “that the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” Yet constantly we hear others say, ‘Now we don’t want to talk negatively, it will cause us to have low self-esteem!’
The secret of loving ourselves in the light of God’s love is simply facing the truth about ourselves. Without Christ’s love...we are unlovable. Our kind hearts, gentle ways and good works all come to nothing in the long run, for His faithful Word tells us that there is only one way to Eternal Life—one way to enjoy His love and know we are loved...no matter what the circumstances surrounding our lives might be. That way is through Jesus Christ, for indeed 4 “He is the way, the truth and the life; no man cometh unto the Father, but by Him”. It was His great love for us that compelled Him to come to earth, to die on that dreadful cross, to be buried in the grave and then as God, to rise from the dead in great triumph. Now as the Heavenly Father looks at each one of us, He sees us as women of great worth.
If we have given our hearts over to Jesus Christ, confessing our sins and personally accepting His sacrifice for us, then that worth is in CHRIST. We now have CHRIST-ESTEEM. Our sin that bound us has been buried with Him and we are now risen with Him. Our souls await the day when we shall see God and His Holy Son—FACE TO FACE, for dying now and being buried in the ground is not the end of the story; purely a new phase of life. This woman of worth like a precious rose has grown up one side of the wall and now her blossoms of sweet fragrance can only be seen on the other side.
On the other hand if you have not made this step, the amazing thing about God’s love is that—He still sees you as a woman of worth. Do you realize that 5 “it is not His desire that anyone should miss out on this love...His Eternal Life; He desires that all should be saved.” He promises that if you will seek Him then He will find you and come to you revealing just how much He desires to bless you and love you For you are indeed a woman of great worth.
1 Romans
3:23
2 Romans
3:10
3 Jeremiah 4 John 52
It is important for us to slow down and discover the truth about His great love—the truth about His unchanging Word. Nowhere in the Scriptures do we find it said that we should have good SELF ESTEEM. In fact many references describe The Heart Of A Woman Inc.
Spring 2005
17:9
14:6
Peter 3:9b (Paraphrased)
By Wendy Davie
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