Easy Christmas DĂŠcor To Make Holidays Made Simple: For You and Your Aging Parent How to Enjoy Your Holidays Guilt Free Grandparenting and the Gift-Giving Trap
From Our House to Yours...
And Good Cheer! 2 | Encore Life ÂŠ | Winter 2012 | encorelifemag.com
Contents features 32 16 34 23
Easy Christmas Décor To Make Holidays Made Simple: For You and Your Aging Parent AAA Approved — Is There Anything Behind The Hype? My Own Mother’s Story
nutrition and health
14 How to Enjoy Your Holidays Guilt Free 15 Delicious Guilt & Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe 27 A Simple Inexpensive Anti-Aging Skin Mask 25 I Am: The Philosophical Side To Alzheimer’s
spirituality & relationships
40 Asking God For What You Desire 36 The Procrastination Cure 13 Grandparenting and the Gift-Giving Trap
career & travel
38 Performance Sally - Do You Know Her? 20 Multi-Generational Travel - The Ultimate Bonding Experience
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Contents (Cont.) aging in place & transitions
Do you have “Stay at Home” Insurance? 45 A Moving Story (Part 3) 18 Senior Living with Ease—Part 2 41 100 Things to Do When You Retire 29
in every issue 4,7 9 5 38 40 14 8 10 46 3 46
Contributors Editor’s Letter—From Me, For You Online Glimpses Encore Careers Spiritual Corner Nutrition for Adults Only From You, For Us On Our Bookshelf Subscription Info Advertising Info In The Next Issue...
Encore Life © | Winter 2012 | encorelifemag.com | 5
Tune In To Our New Radio Show! Encore Living - A radio show that talks about Better Living In The Second Stage of Life. Hosted by Joyce Joneschiet (Encore Living Interiors/ Encore Life Magazine with Aaron Murphy (ADM Architecture LLC/Empowering the Mature Mind). It will be a power-packed hour with all kinds of guests and features that will help you design your encore life! Special features include:
Interior design tips How interior design & architecture can help you age in place The newest products for your home Best travel destinations for baby boomers What is a referral agency and how can they help you with your options Nutrition for Adults Only How in-home care is not a luxury Easy no-cook meals Encore careers Inspirational baby boomers The 5 Wishes and so much more!
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Starting September 10th, we’ll be broadcasting the second Monday of every month from 8:00 to 9:00 AM (PST). You can listen live locally here in Seattle on 1150 AM KKNW or from anywhere by live-streaming on http://1150kknw.com.
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Make it easy to change your life for the better! Join Host Joyce Joneschiet (Jonah-shite) from Encore Life Magazine as she interviews Kristina Brown from Eating Skinny on our special three part series of recorded calls! You will receive the recordings of all three calls for one low price!
Including three informative teleseminars: First Call: Aging Well You will learn: How to age well and support our elders to have a healthy and happy life. What are the three core areas that we need to focus on to be balanced and healthy as we age? What foods support us as we age? What are some of the unique challenges that the elderly have to being healthy and how can we overcome them? Second Call: Beat the Sugar Blues Learn: How to stop sugar cravings and avoid the 3pm candy run. What does sugar really do to us? Where does all that sugar lurk? Become a savvy shopper! Food and mood, is sugar the answer? Proven tactics for dealing with that sugar siren call! Third Call: Heart Healthy Living The Top Ten Tips for Heart Healthy Living What are the Super Foods that keep our hearts happy How to set your New Years Heart Healthy Goals with Kristina during the class using an interactive worksheet Plus over $125 of FREE BONUS GIFTS!
Click here to get more info about the teleseminar and FREE Bonus Gifts! Encore Life ÂŠ | Winter 2012 | encorelifemag.com | 7
24 From You, For Us Letters From Our Readers are always appreciated and welcomed. We hope to hear from you about this issue and want to get your feedback on what you would like to see in future issues. This helps us tailor this magazine to your needs so we can provide the content that you’re looking for. If you’ve received a benefit from a particular article or video, tell us about it! We will be using this page to mention your letters and emails and we are looking forward to hearing from you!
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From Me, For You Just a note... I’m very excited about this upcoming holiday season as we celebrate with family and friends. I’m looking forward to making some new memories this year, new traditions, and welcoming in a new year! I hope that this finds you as well, believing that as we close out this year of 2012 that our lives and those that we love will become better and richer as we hold each other dear. After all, family, friends and our faith are the true riches in this life, beyond any external situations and realities. I think that out of all that this difficult time in our economy has taught me, I can’t take for granted each moment and heartbeat that has been given to me. This issue also shares how we can enjoy our family better this holiday with easy & simple ways to spend time together and decorate our homes. Enjoy this issue and have a wonderful New Year! Make sure to have your friends and family sign up for a FREE subscription today so you can each have access to all the good stuff that is coming your way. Click here to sign up! Here’s to your Encore Life!
Joyce Joneschiet (Jonah-shite) Publisher & Editor in Chief
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On Our Bookshelf Click on the book images for more info!
Barefoot Contessa Parties! By Ina Garten
The Polar Express By Chris Van Allsburg Nell Hill's Christmas At Home By Mary Carol Garrity The town of Atchison, Kansas, is never busier than at Christmastime. It is during this season that the acclaimed Nell Hill's home decorating emporium is transformed into a magical space where old meets new, formal meets frivolous, and imagination is key. Now you can bring that spirit into your home for the holidays. In Nell Hill's Christmas At Home, shop owner Mary Carol Garrity, the endlessly inventive home decorating marvel, turns her attention to the specifics of holiday decorating. With the inimitable style and warmth that has made converts of so many, she offers unconventional wisdom for beautifying your home throughout the season. Whether it's a new and exciting spot for a Christmas tree or a wonderful way to wrap and present gifts, Mary Carol's ideas are never stuffy and always inspirational. Full of lavish photographs, Nell Hill's Christmas at Home distills the decorating wisdom gleaned by Mary Carol from countless conversations with her devoted customers. With this book, she offers readers the most imaginative and entertaining ideas to come along in years.
For twenty years, The Polar Express has been a worldwide bestseller and Christmas classic. To commemorate this special anniversary, this heirloom gift edition has been created. The slipcase holds a cloth copy of the book, which includes a distinctive bookplate designed by author Chris Van Allsburg exclusively for this edition. A perfect keepsake for any family, this beautiful edition can be handed down to each new generation of readers. In 1986 The Polar Express was awarded the prestigious Caldecott Medal and hit the New York Times bestseller list. Since that time, more than six and a half million copies have been sold, and every December it faithfully reappears on national bestseller lists. In 2004, The Polar Express became a blockbuster holiday movie. The DVD release in 2005 assures, that like the book, the movie will become a holiday classic.
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Now, with Barefoot Contessa Parties! Ina shares secrets she has gleaned from her years not only as a caterer but as a dedicated party giver. The keyword here is fun. Ina's parties are easy to prepare and fun for everyone, including the host. Forget those boring Saturday-night dinners that just won't end. With Ina's advice, you're certain to have all your friends saying, "Wasn't that fun!" Ina has packed Barefoot Contessa Parties! with plans for pulling off parties like a pro, stories about her own parties, and tips on assembling food (rather than cooking everything) and organizing like a caterer. In the spring you can invite your friends to a party where they all make their own pizzas. Come summer, it's into the garden for a lunch with grilled lamb and pita sandwiches that guests assemble themselves. In the autumn, when it's not Thanksgiving, Ina roasts a fresh turkey, which her friends enjoy with popovers and a creamy spinach gratin. And on a snowy winter's day, everyone is invited for a lunch buffet with seafood chowder and butternut squash and apple soup. With so many great ideas and recipes in these pages for you to use, your friends will start to wonder why your parties are always so much fun.
Grandparenting and the Gift-Giving Trap By Margit Crane Receiving gifts can teach kids about gratitude, appreciation, and generosity. Unfortunately, it can also teach about selfishness, self-centeredness and materialism. Then there’s the possible conflict with the parents – they may have their own wants and needs around gift-giving. Do we listen to them, or do what we want? As a stepparent and new grandparent, the biggest shock for me is how quickly kids grow out of their toys when they’re young. Keep that in mind as you read through these tips, and remember that each of your actions is a lesson for your children and grandchildren. What do you want them to learn about giving and receiving? And what do you want them to remember about Grandma & Grandpa? Limit the number of gifts you give. More is confusing for children and teens, and more gifts are practically a recipe for future disappointment. They will confuse love, self-worth, friendship, happiness, and well being with the amount or cost of the gifts they get and give. If the parents have set a gift budget or limit, stick to it. Even if it’s hard. This teaches children about limits and about respecting boundaries. It also teaches about mutual trust as boundaries that are broken, even for something as great as a cool present, subtly teaches that that person’s word cannot be trusted. Big-ticket items should be age-appropriate. Opening a college savings account is always a good idea. Or setting up a trust for when the kids turn 25 or 30, and their brains are fully developed. Having expensive items, such as smartphones, computers, cars, a new wardrobe, or an extra-grand vacation often causes strife in the family and the parents are left to try to clean up the fallout we grandparents have created. Instead, create “Love Experiences” with your grandkids. That’s what they’ll remember – baking cookies, teaching them to read, helping with homework, listening (but not taking sides!) when they need to talk, cuddling and laughing. Grandparenting is not an excuse to “get back at” or tease your own kids. It is the chance to revisit the past and do it better. Be the grandparent your kids had, or the one you wish they had. It’s not about having a “common enemy” as one saying goes. It’s about creating a family with adults that kids and teens can emulate. It’s about creating a better world. Author, Trainer, and AD/HD Family Coach Margit Crane is passionately devoted to making life much easier for ADD/ADHD kids and adults. A former teacher and school counselor, Margit is also the author of the Mom’s Choice Award® winner, How to Train Your Parents in 6½ Days for tweens, teens & parents. Finally, she and her husband Nick are the proud and adoring grandparents of Ava Josephine. You can reach Margit at either of her websites: GiftedWithADD.com or GoodEnoughParenting.com
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Nutrition for Adults Only This is the first installment of our new column about health, nutrition and wellness! We’ll have a recipe in each issue.
By Jennifer Beck
How to Enjoy Your Holidays Guilt Free
Many factors play into that 5 pound gain during the holiday season. Let's look at the 3 main ones and the keys to avoiding them. 1. We associate calories, sugar and fat laden foods with happy times and have a tendency to over eat them to relive those feelings. The holidays just aren't the holidays without our “special” foods and we typically only eat them once a year, so we tend to over indulge. Sample the foods that make your holidays special, but in moderation and make better choices the rest of the time. Find healthier alternatives to your favorite snacks & treats. Many times you can avoid weight gain by eating healthier versions of your favorite foods. Check out the “healthy chocolate cookie” recipe below. Delicious! (For additional healthier holiday recipe alternatives, visit my blog at www.AdvancedWellnessCoaching.com) 2. We eat when stressed. When eating foods like cake, and cookies, the sugar gives us a rush of feel good hormones while we are eating it and, a short time afterward. Unfortunately, the sugar high only last for a little while, then we crash lower than where we were before, leading us into a vicious cycle. Studies show that as stress levels rise, our cortisol levels rise, signaling our body to store more fat. Relax and breathe, so you can enjoy the season and reduce your cortisol levels Don't walk into a gathering or event starving. We have all done it. You didn't have time to eat, because you were busy running around and now it is off to a party where you know there is nothing but calorie laden cookies and appetizers. Pack a snack that will take the edge off. Try a handful of raw almonds or a Quest protein bar. 3. During holiday celebrations, we are sometimes so absorbed in the festivities that we don't pay attention to our body's natural signals telling us we are full, so we can have a tendency to overeat. Be present and in tune with your body. Stand on the other side of the room from the food. If you force yourself to walk across the room to get another plate, you will be much less likely to over indulge. You can then focus on enjoying the company you have and focus less on filling your stomach. Use a smaller plate. If you have a big dinner plate and only put a couple bites of a couple different foods, it looks empty. Place the same amount on a salad plate, it looks full, you will feel more satisfied, even though it is the same amount. Put your fork down between bites. Try to chew each bite at least 20-30 times before swallowing. Implementing these will help make your holidays enjoyable and guilt-free! Remember, the more natural your foods are the more health and healing you will derive from them!
Meet our new nutritionist! Jennifer Beck is a Registered Nutrition Consultant, corporate
health coach, speaker, and author. She is passionate about helping individuals optimize their health, shed unwanted pounds, and live a long life of vibrant great health, medication free! She helps individuals break through the confusion around “eating healthy”, discover and eat for their personal Metabolic Design and supports individuals in crafting a plan to incorporate healthy eating into a busy lifestyle allowing them to create a true sustainable lifestyle change. She is the owner of Advanced Wellness Coaching and offers wonderful tools, resources and practical advice to create Simple Wellness for Life! Don’t forget to grab your Free gift...10 Simple Things You Can Do to Maximize Your Health Now!
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Delicious Guilt & Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies Makes 12 cookies 2 1/2 cups almond flour 1/4 tsp sea salt 1/4 tsp baking soda 1/2 cup raw butter or coconut oil, melted 1 Tbsp organic vanilla extract 4 tsp spoonable stevia powder 1 cup 73%+ dark chocolate chips 1.) Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl, leaving out the chocolate chips for now. With a spoon, make a well in the middle of the dry ingredients. 2.) Mix together the wet ingredients. Pour into well of dry ingredients and stir until well combined. 3.) Fold in chocolate chips. Form 1 inch balls with your hands and press flat onto an all-natural parchment-lined baking sheet. 4.) Bake at 350 degrees F for 8-12 minutes, until light brown at the edges. Cool and devour.
Recipe & photos provided courtesy of Advanced Wellness
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Holidays Made Simple: For You and Your Aging Parent By Alice Kalso Simplify. Simplify. Those words of Henry David Thoreau echo in my mind during the holidays, especially when I think about our aging parents. If I have one piece of advice I've gleaned over the years, it's this: Don't let your parents' medical conditions steal your family's holiday joy. The little girl or boy inside your parent is still very much alive, and that inner child can appreciate the goodwill these special days offer. The key, though, is more with less. More joy for all of you, including your aging parent, with less work. More wonder with less stress. More love with less money. But how does that all happen, given your limits on time, energy and funds? First, you may want to start a conversation with your parent. Ask him or her, "What is MOST important to you during the holidays?" Just having the discussion honors your parent and will enlighten you. Don’t be surprised he or she starts traveling down memory lane, sharing childhood memories of a Christmas stocking filled with an orange, a bright red ball, a candy cane, and a new pair of socks. Oh yes, and a new pair of roller skates? That’s half the fun of this conversation. Together, when you’ve finished the “What HAS to be part of the holiday season?” discussion, narrow the list of favorites to a few activities that can be done with help from you and your family. My dad, a retired pastor, loved writing family Christmas letters. When he moved to a nursing home with my mom, he wanted to continue his favorite tradition. Parkinson's had robbed him of his ability to write. Fortunately, my younger brother Jim came to the rescue. Together they discussed the contents. Jim wrote and edited the letter, with Daddy’s approval. Later Jim's wife and kids were enlisted to type, photocopy, address envelopes and take them to the post office. For Daddy, those letters were the key to the holidays, allowing him to relax and enjoy the season. Your parent's list of favorite things will be unique. In the retirement community where I worked until recently, several residents of German descent make traditional filled cookies every year. I remember well George’s pains16 | Encore Life © | Winter 2012 | encorelifemag.com
taking efforts to measure the ingredients, bake the cookies, and fill them, standing for hours, despite back pain. I also remember the smile on his face when others commented on his creation. It was a community effort: his adult children provided ingredients. His neighbors in the community complimented him on his good work. Others in the community had their own favorite traditions, including attending “The Nutcracker” as a group. Still others enjoyed Christmas caroling for the nearby nursing homes, senior apartments and an architectural firm! Even if your parent is homebound, he or she may enjoy decorations, holiday music, movies and family recipes. Keep it simple. To capture the "good old times" your parent may remember, try one or more of these simplified traditions. If your parent enjoyed attending the Nutcracker, the Messiah or other live musical performances long ago, listen to CDs or DVD's of these favorites together. If your parent hosted family and friends during the holidays in times past, give him or her a guest book and a tin of cookies or other treats for people who drop by. If she sang in a choir, or just enjoyed holiday music, hold a sing-along, even if there are only a few of you. Use recorded music to help you, if needed. If he or she faithfully chopped down and/or decorated the family Christmas tree, take a drive through a lighted neighborhood, stopping for cocoa afterwards. If she filled your Christmas stockings to the max in days gone by, provide some wrapped candies she can give to the grandchildren and great-grandchildren. My daughter, now a mother of three, has fond memories of her Great Grandpa Bill, who stashed peppermints in his shirt pocket. When kids sat on his lap, they knew where to look. If she baked traditional breads or holiday cookies, hold a family baking session, using her recipes and encouraging her to help, if possible. Be sure to tell the little ones that, “These are Great-Grandma’s cookies that she baked for your Grandma when she was a little girl.” If he or she loved watching football during the holidays, you don’t have to simplify this tradition at all. It’s already simple: Gather the family and friends, provide food and turn on the TV. One football tradition in our family involved the “Pancake bet.” For years the three men in our family (my husband and our two sons) placed bets on the score of the upcoming Husky game. After the game, they revealed the bets. The person whose bet was farthest off the actual score had to make pancakes for breakfast the next Saturday. So the key to holidays with your aging parent isn’t expense in time, money or stress. It’s connection. And simple is often better. The words of Henry David Thoreau ring true: Simplify, Simplify.
Alice Kalso, a writer on family issues for 25 years, has a blog, Boomers Guide to Eldercare, from which this article is taken. Alice is a housing and care specialist with Silver Age Housing & Care Referrals. She and her team members help families find home care, retirement and assisted living communities, and adult family homes in the greater Seattle area.
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Senior Living with Ease—Part 2 An Introduction to Downsizing and What to Expect By Linda Hunt In an ideal world, we would all transition gracefully through the stages of life. But for many seniors, keeping a home as they age can be a challenge and sometimes, not possible at all. Many families have come to the realization that downsizing is the answer for their loved ones. However, talking about it and actually doing it are two different things. The prospect of downsizing can be overwhelming, scary and exciting all at the same time. That’s what this 3 part series “Senior Living with Ease” is all about. It is a compilation of the best suggestions for your loved one’s lifestyle, safety and comfort. Years ago, a friend who moved frequently with his job shared with me his philosophy about “home”. I have taken his words to heart. He said “It does not matter where my house is located. What matters is that when I close that door and settle in for the night, I know it is my home.” That is good advice. Good downsizing design helps your loved ones to feel “at home” wherever they live. The experience of downsizing a family home or having a downsizing move can be both daunting and rewarding. Knowing what to expect and how to get the best out of it is so important for a good outcome. The transition to downsized living is fraught with emotions. There are many tough choices to be made. Sorting through the “stuff of our lives” brings up past memories that make it hard to pick what goes and what stays. Though that can be draining, there is a silver lining here. A lifetime of things can evoke fond memories to be shared with family and friends. Set a doable pace, have family members join in the process and it can often become a bittersweet journey. If there will not be family to help, senior move managers and organizers are invaluable. They are pros at preparing for a move and then packing things up and unloading them at the new residence. Be sure to allow more time than you may think you will need to get these projects completed. Remember this is a lifetime of stuff that needs to be worked on, sold, or donated will require a large chunk of time to complete. How does one sort through possessions collected over a lifetime? It isn't easy, but the key to making it work is to develop a plan and then get the process as early as possible. It takes time to make decisions and find "homes" for items that are no longer need. Possessions throughout the house, up in the attic and down in the basement all need to be addressed. Thoughtful advance planning will allow sufficient time for making good choices about your loved one’s possessions. Giving no longer needed possessions to family members now can be very rewarding. In the end, they will be better prepared when they want to or have to move. Linda is a WFCP Specialist Certified interior designer with 25 years of experience working on residential design and is an active member of International Furnishings and Design Association. She specializes in custom window treatments and downsizing design for over 20 years. She’s written several e-books on interior decorating topics and wrote a semi-monthly design column for the 360 View Newspaper. She holds a B.A. in history from the State University of New York. Her designs have often been featured in Ava Living Spotlight and teaches adult education classes. Click on her logo to see her site and the mail image to write to Linda!
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Making Every Life a Living Legacy What do you want to remember before you forget? Spending less than an hour a day you can easily create your personal Living Legacy LifeBook that will: Help you process and harvest a lifetime of memories. Serve you as a memory aid when memory becomes problematical. Become a living Legacy and posterity for your family and scholars for generations to come. Offer you many hours of enjoyment with family and children as they listen to you tell and retell life and stories. You will have: An answer to what you talk about after “Fine.” (How are the kids, fine, work, fine, your health, fine…) Spent hours upon hours with your spouse, children, and your friends listening to you as you tell and retell your family, life, and times. An enhanced sense of self and of your own achievements A memory aid for when your memory becomes problematical. A Living Legacy that will last for generations to come. Oral History, a true immortality. So that is it and much more. A flexible structured document of documents an easy, enjoyable, satisfying, step by step, do it at your own pace, Living Legacy LifeBook. Your life is worth far far more than a 100 word obit in the local paper… Give the gift of a Living Legacy LifeBook to yourself, your spouse, your children, your best friends – then work it with them. A gift that never ceases giving. The Living legacy LifeBook. Order yours today! Encore Life © | Winter 2012 | encorelifemag.com | 19
Multi-Generational Travel - The Ultimate Bonding Experience By Beth Young
When I was growing up, our family vacations consisted of Mom and Dad loading up the station wagon with the 4 kids, the dog, a tent and other camping gear and driving from Tacoma to central Oregon. We would camp near Grandma Thompson’s summer cabin on the Metolius River. We’d stay a week or two, visit with Grandma a few times - usually with the kids playing outside, and have dinner at her place once or twice. This wasn’t a great time for us kids - we had to be quiet at Grandma’s house (especially if she was watching golf - it was as if she thought they could hear us), be care ful of her art and knick knacks - everyone was just a little on edge. Our one big family vacation was when I was 10 and we rented a small travel trailer and went to Yellowstone National Park. We met up with some cousins there. Wow, we thought we were world travelers! It was great fun to meet our cousins from back east and Dad’s cousins from Arizona – what exotic places those seemed. This type of vacation was typical of my generation’s family vacations. There were the lucky few who got to go to Disneyland or maybe even Hawaii, but that was rare in those days. The first time I was on a plane was when I was 19 and flew to Pennsylvania for my Grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. That was really exciting - flying clear across the country. Then, a few years later I was extremely fortunate to get to go to Hawaii. My friend had moved there so I had a place to stay, so all I needed was my plane ticket. I was over 40 before I got to Disneyland! (I’ve made up for a lot in the last 15 years or so.) Travel in general has changed a lot since I was growing up and that includes family vacations. Sure, there are still camping trips and trips to visit the extended family, but more and more families are taking real vacations - to theme parks, taking cruises, visiting Hawaii, Mexico, even Europe, Africa and Asia. Why is this? There are many reasons. Flights have become faster, more affordable, and more plentiful making it
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easier to get to where you want to go. Cruise lines, resorts, hotels and even tour companies have programs to fit all ages and interests. Many have kids programs, adult only areas, and family friendly cultural experiences, so there is something for everyone. There are also more family friendly rooms on both cruise ships and in hotels/resorts. Families are more far flung, so it makes more sense to meet at a neutral place than for everyone to have to spend all of their vacation time traveling to the others. More families are coming together for vacations and including extended family such as grandparents; aunts, uncles and cousins; and even family friends. Today there are many types of blended families as well and I have worked with family groups where mom and dad have traveled together with their new spouses so that the kids can enjoy a special vacation with both of their parents, such as a Graduation trip or Destination Wedding. Another thing that has changed is that many families plan trips year round, rather than just during school breaks. There is an understanding that a family trip can include many opportunities for education and learning, especially shared with several generations that will each see things from a different perspective. Imagine taking a multi-generational family trip to the country of your ancestors. Perhaps you have visited before and/or have met some of your relatives from the old country. You travel with your children and grandchildren. You can share the history with the younger folks and you will see things differently when experiencing new sights and people through the eyes of your grandchildren. It is a wonderful way to bridge the generation gap. Another popular trend these days is visiting schools or orphanages in the country you are visiting and meeting and learning about (and from) children of other cultures. There are People to People programs where you can spend time with another family. There are trips for volunteering. Others where you can do things like release baby turtles into the sea in places like Costa Rica. These experiences are one of a kind and unforgettable. Sharing these types of experiences can bring the generations together. You get to know each other in a way that just doesn’t happen when visiting for a few hours, while having to be quiet and well behaved at Grandma’s house. On a vacation, everyone is more relaxed, more themselves. It gives the kids a chance to see that Grandma and Grandpa enjoy having fun, too. I’ve traveled a couple of times with my niece and great-nephew. The first time was on a cruise and it was really fun to see my nephew trying new foods that most 7 year olds will never be exposed to. The second time he was 12 and was sure he wouldn’t like snorkeling. He watched me and another member of our group for awhile and when I offered him my gear so I could enjoy some beach time, he took me up on it and is now hooked. These are memories that will last a lifetime, and that have brought us a lot closer to-
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gether than the shared holidays where he spends time playing video games while I visit with his parents, we eat dinner, then he’s off again doing boy things. The one thing I always suggest to my families that are planning vacations together, is to get everyone involved in the planning. Decide on the destination, have the kids research on the Internet (you know they won’t read those guide books you’ve bought), and have everyone choose one thing that they really want to do while on the trip. It doesn’t mean that you have to join in. For instance, if your teenage grandkids want to go surfing in Hawaii, you don’t have to get on a board (unless it’s always been on your list of things to try). By letting them choose an activity, tour or sight to see, everyone will enjoy themselves which means that Everyone Will Enjoy Themselves and Lifelong Memories will be made. A family trip like this doesn’t have to break the bank. Many resorts offer Friends and Family discounts for as few as 5 rooms. Many offer promotions for kids to stay and eat free. Group activities and tours can be planned for just your family. There are also adventure type tours available for families, safaris specially designed for families with children, and more. There are unlimited opportunities for these sorts of trips. Many people get the family together for a Milestone Occasion, such as my Grandparents 50th Wedding Anniversary when I was 19. Or my special Birthday cruise that my 7 year old great-nephew was a part of. You don’t have to wait for a special occasion, just choose the date and destination, invite the family and see what happens. My guess is that you will gain a new appreciation for both your grown children and their children, and vice versa. You will have a closer relationship, and memories that will make your friends jealous. The possibilities for your multi-generational trip are limited only by your creativity. “Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” Miriam Beard
Beth Young is the owner of Perfect Paradise Vacations, specializing in “Sun Spots”. Places like the Caribbean, Hawaii, Mexico and South and Central America, both land vacations and cruises. Although she books many individual clients her true love is working with groups, both large and small. She has worked with corporate, affinity, and family & friend groups, from 6 people up to 200. Beth is well organized and enjoys all the details that group travel requires, ensuring that transfers and activities are included along with all of the usual - and some unusual - travel arrangements. Customer service is her primary goal, making sure that clients' travel planning needs are met from the idea stage until their return home. Personal, knowledgeable and complete travel planning from beginning to end. She is affiliated with Anderson Travel Planners in Gig Harbor, WA which allows her to fully serve her clients by adding their expertise to her knowledge. She has earned her Caribbean Destination Specialist designation from The Travel Institute, as well as certification from several Caribbean islands, Mexico, Hawaii, Las Vegas and several cruise lines. She continues to take courses and add to her knowledge by attending local seminars and presentations.
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My Own Mother’s Story By Brian Cook Having been in the reverse mortgage industry for over 12 years, I have had the privilege of assisting hundreds of senior homeowners obtain the peaceof-mind they desire in retirement. However I never would have thought I’d help one senior in particular that is dear to my heart, my mother. Here is her reverse mortgage story. Unfortunately my father passed away about 3 years ago at age 70. He had been retired from Boeing since he was 55. A truly great man, he actually wasn’t supposed to live past 35 but he proved My mother and her baby boy, Cooper. the doctors wrong. I know how was lucky I was to have him see me get married and spend some time with him before he passed.
One of things he always made sure was to save. Not knowing what may happen, he wanted to leave as much money as possible to my mother to ensure her stability. He had done this over the years and benefited further from his retirement portfolio. This of course was left to my mother. However we did not realize the financial impact of losing his social security benefits. My mother unfortunately had to alter her retirement distributions to make up some of the loss in this income.
After a few years, her financial planner estimated that her portfolio would only last another 9 years! Alarmed, they discussed her options; either increase her hours and work more, lower her distribution and lose her independence, or sell her home, move, & invest the monies. The last option that she brought up, to my mother’s surprise, was a reverse mortgage.
Her financial planner knew I was a reverse mortgage advisor so she suggested we all get together to go over how she could use a reverse mortgage comprehensively with her other retirement instruments. By the end of our discussion, we had put a plan in place that would lower her distribution and extend her retirement portfolio expectancy well beyond the estimated 9 years. We would make up the difference of the lower distribution through a monthly withdraw from the reverse mortgage proceeds. In addition, we could set up a line-of-credit that she would utilize for emergencies or future needs.
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She noted she was a little nervous when she decided to obtain her reverse mortgage but became more comfortable as she realized the positive change it would be making in her life. She has now had her reverse mortgage for few months and is happier than she has been for a long time.
She stated to me the other day that she doesn’t worry as much she used to. She was very stressed about the long-term financial issues she was going to face. However with the reverse mortgage, she knows that she can stay in the home and use her equity to her advantage. She no longer allows her finances to dictate what she can and cannot do and now enjoys herself and lives her life more freely.
Since she’s obtained her reverse mortgage, she has more peace-of-mind and is the happiest I’ve seen her since my father passed. She’s been able to visit her brother in Eastern Washington more, make her annual trip to the Quilting Fair in Sisters, OR with her sister, and has just finished updating her bathroom and now has plans to change her kitchen countertops and paint. She can go to JoAnn’s Fabrics and pick out whatever she wants. And most of all, she’s enjoying her time with her new baby boy, Cooper.
The power of the reverse mortgage for her is more than the financial impact. It’s allowing her to live comfortably without as many worries. She has the peace-of-mind that my father wanted and saved for all those years. She and my father paid for their home. Now their home will be paying her.
"HELPING RETIREMENT MOVE FORWARD IN REVERSE" Alpine Mortgage Planning, A Div. of Pinnacle Capital Mortgage, NMLS 81395 | WA CL-81395, Equal Housing Lender
You can reach Brian at the icons below:
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I Am: The Philosophical Side To Alzheimer’s By Ehtelle Lord Research has widely focused on finding a cure for Alzheimer’s. Methods of providing better day-to-day care of persons living with Alzheimer’s have also a highly focused topic of Alzheimer’s research. We also know that Alzheimer’s can last as long as 20 years or more depending on age and type of diagnosis. Alzheimer’s has received a lot of attention from care to cure, and less philosophical attention. What is the philosophical side to Alzheimer’s? What is the meaning of life with Alzheimer’s? The more my husband progresses in his Alzheimer’s, the more I appreciate the meaning of life and value of the therapeutic process. Bernstein (2005) posited that compassion and unselfish concern by one individual for the well-being of another defines the therapeutic process. Nietzsche, the philosopher, suffered long bouts of illness accompanied by pain. He wrote: “Did you ever say yes to a pleasure? Oh my friends, then you also said yes to all pain. All things are linked, entwined, in love with one another.”
Personality I made a few philosophical discoveries while observing the progression of my husband’s Alzheimer’s. The personality traits remain intact, perhaps even stronger than before. My husband has profiled as an Empath® and according to Seich (2000) the following would be characteristics of an Empath® personality style: Thinking ~ By proximity, they can tune into the emotional state of others; they are often unaware of their own intuitive power. Working ~ These gentle individuals feel successful when they encourage others to be successful; they are natural-born teachers and instructors. Emoting ~ Their emotions bubble over easily and unexpectedly; they may confuse being used with being needed (p. 19). I can attest that my husband, even in his advanced stage of Alzheimer’s, has always demonstrated this in different ways and at different times of the day. It is not true that Alzheimer’s steals the personality. I believe the personality can only be reinforced. In the absence of sound judgment and altered reality, distractions are at a minimum. The heart of personality is still very much active and clearly recognizable. As someone wrote, “…it is not my memories that make me myself…” (VIV, 2004). This is in contradiction to Locke’s theory of personal identity. He defined personality in terms of consciousness and memory. Knowing that Alzheimer’s will begin by dulling the memories and eventually erase them for good, Penelope Garner listed three tips to those individuals living with Alzheimer’s: From now on please don’t worry about the future – stay with what you already know and love.
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Appoint the person you most trust as your advocate – and ask them to read this book while you get on with your life. Forget all about the diagnosis – you’re very good at forgetting now, so use this skill to forget about dementia and get on with enjoying your life once more (James, 2009, p. 77).
Perhaps we need to approach Alzheimer’s from a philosophical stance and instead of looking at the changes Alzheimer’s may bring; we can look at what hasn’t changed in the person living with Alzheimer’s. More people, including caregivers and the person living with Alzheimer’s, may begin to enjoy Alzheimer’s for what it brings instead of what it takes away. I know that my husband dreaded losing his memories, especially associating my name with my face. Now he is content and peaceful. The time we spend together is much more philosophical than physical or mental. We are able to enjoy the small things without worry. I read to him and we listen to music together. He holds me close for long periods of time without saying a word. I hold his hand and give him a tender kiss. Touch has become more important than words because hands and lips are overly sensitive to a person living with Alzheimer’s. Someone shared with me she was finally able to be more intimate with her mother now that her mother had Alzheimer’s. I think more intimacy can be achieved due to Alzheimer’s effect on judgment. Judgment is obsolete with Alzheimer’s. Judgment requires a statement of opinion, who wants to state an opinion without an opportunity for discussion? The person living with Alzheimer’s does not care about opinions or facts. He/she cares only about philosophical aspects of life such as emotions, living in the here and now, and death. The awareness of life and death seems even more remarkable for a person living with Alzheimer’s.
References for this article Bernstein, A. (2005). The practice of wisdom: A contribution to clinical philosophy. Psychoanalytic Inquiry, 25(4), 540 -554. Garner, P. in Nietzsche, Pain and Meaning. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pain_(philosophy) James, O. (2009). Contented Dementia (Kindle Locations 77-81). Random House UK. Kindle Edition. Johnson, T. (n.d.). Treating Alzheimer’s disease with Reiki. Retrieved from http://www.joyfullivingservices.com/ handouts/treatingalzheimerswithreiki.pdf Seich, S. (2000). 3 Sides of You: Unlocking the way you think, work, and love. Huntsville, AL. VIV (2004). Retrieved from http://www.writework.com/essay/if-you-know-you-have-alzheimer-s-do-you-regardperson-inhe
About the author Ethelle G. Lord, former president of the Maine Gerontological Society in the State of Maine, currently is president and professional Alzheimer’s coach offering Alzheimer’s coaching and consulting with businesses at Remembering4You.com, and is a professor of Organizational Behavior at several universities. Dr. Lord has a Doctorate of Management in Organizational Leadership from the University of Phoenix. Her 10-year experience as a family caregiver originated with her husband who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in Jan. 2003. In that decade she has seen a daily influx of new Alzheimer’s cases. Dr. Lord realized there is an urgent need for a change in perspective with regards to providing individual and institutional care for individuals living with Alzheimer’s. She is married to Maj. Larry S. Potter, USAF retired, and lives in Mapleton, Maine. Dr. Lord is available for presentations, training, and Alzheimer’s coaching/consulting.
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A Simple Inexpensive Anti-Aging Facial Mask By Vanessa Roberts Two weeks ago I covered my Mother’s face with red wine. It’s honestly not what you think! You see she just turned 65 and where I can I offer helpful advice on keeping her skin healthy as she ages. I roped her into trying out a face mask that contains ingredients designed to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. One of these ingredients was of course red wine, which mind you we almost ran out of prior to actually making the mask! Fortunately we did manage to save enough of the Merlot we were drinking to use for the remedy I’m about to show you now. Here’s What You Need Most of these ingredients you may already have in your kitchen, but if you don’t you can get all of them from your local grocery store. Red Wine - 1 Tbsp In most red wines you can find an extremely powerful antioxidant called resveratrol and its purpose in this case is to help remove any free radicals in your skin that may be causing wrinkles. Did you know that certain free radicals can start a process known as metalloproteinases, which essentially breaks down collagen? A lack of collagen leads to most skin conditions related to aging, so that’s certainly something we don’t want! Green Tea - 1 Tea Bag Green tea is also a great source of antioxidants. EGCG(epigallocatechin-3-gallate) is one of the most potent antioxidants we know of, having similar abilities as resveratrol to help remove harmful free radicals that can lead to collagen breakdown. Plain Yogurt - 1 Tbsp Plain, unflavored yogurt contains a high degree of lactic acid, which is in the family of alpha hydroxy acids(AHA). AHA’s when absorbed into the deepest layers of your skin can help in the restoration and production of collagen and elastin. Just make sure you don’t use a flavored product as they contain processed sugars and flavonoids that can cause further problems.
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Organic Honey - 2 Tbsp Honey is probably the most widely used organic products in home remedies and there’s a reason for that - it’s a natural humectant. These are products that have the ability to help retain moisture and that’s something which will happen due to the inclusion of red wine and green tea. Making Your Mask Once you have all of the ingredients prepared, you just need to follow these short five steps for making and applying it onto your face. Word of warning, the honey is going to make things a little sticky! Step One: Brew the green tea before doing anything. Grab yourself a mug, pour in 1 cup of boiling water and place your tea bag inside. Leave to the side for now and allow it to brew. Step Two: Take a small bowl, pour in your honey and throw it into the microwave for 15-20 seconds to allow it to melt slightly. Next throw in the remaining ingredients and stir until the mixture looks nice and even. Step Three: Pour in your cupful of brewed green tea (not the tea bag!) and again stir until it starts to look like a nice, even red paste. Step Four: Apply the mask to your face using a facial brush if you have one, otherwise fingers are fine. Step Five: The mask needs to stay on for 15-20 minutes before washing it off with warm water. DO NOT use soap of any other product to wash off your mask as that will dry up any of the ingredients you’re attempting to absorb into your skin. Post Application The green tea and red wine are likely to cause some dehydration, so it is recommended you apply a moisturizer immediately after washing off the mask. Try to use an oil free product if you can as those tend to be less reactive to natural ingredients like the one’s we’ve used. Better yet, an organic moisturizer like argan or jojoba oil will offer the most amount of moisture without effecting any of the ingredients in the mask. Drink plenty of water throughout the day as that will help eliminate any toxins that may be removed from your skin by the red wine, green tea and yogurt. There you have it ladies - a simple at home anti wrinkle mask you can do easily for under $5! Vanessa is a full-time bloggin' babe for BesSkincare.com where she blogs and vlogs about all things skincare, including natural skincare. The best part about her job? She gets to help her readers look and feel their very best.
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Do you have “Stay at Home” Insurance? By Aaron D. Murphy There’s insurance for everything else. Have you considered “stay at home” insurance? You have Insurances for: Home. Auto. Life. Disability. Maybe even Long Term Care. But what about “Aging In Place” Insurance? Let me redefine this, as “ensure” vs. “insure”, as how to ensure (or greatly increase the likelihood) that you can stay in your own home, HAPPIER, HEALTHIER, and LONGER. Your happiness, health, and longevity in your own home are directly related to how you FEEL in your home, about your home, and the life you have there. Therefore, the “psychology of the built environment” has a lot more to do with how you feel than most people realize or would be willing to admit. They may not actually realize it. It’s their own home. It’s “fine” – It works fine for me, the decor is fine, the layout is fine, the original appliances are fine. Psychology at work. We don’t like to look critically at our own lives, or our own spaces that we’ve created for ourselves. It’s just human nature, I get it. This is one of the “uphill battles” in sharing the Aging-In-Place message and education with the public, and something I run across regularly when I get feedback on the regular speaking engagements I do in Washington state around the Seattle area on this topic. I’m passionate about the topic, and I enjoy educating the public, but there are challenges in trying to “get the word out” for sure. They are based on psychology. Psychology we feel and experience first-hand related to our fears. We fear aging, we fear changing, we fear a lessening of our ability to be independent, care for ourselves, and not be a burden on others. Facing and accepting the inevitable changes that WILL occur in our lives is the beginning of a much needed paradigm shift as we enter into the “Silver Tsunami” of 10,000 people turning 65 years old EVERY DAY starting in January, 2011. The next step in a successful solution to staying in our own homes longer is PLANNING. Once you can accept that it WILL HAPPEN (you, getting older, and that will involve changes in your physical and mental faculties), then you can actually PREPARE. We preach consistently that we’d much prefer to hear from you in “planning Encore Life © | Winter 2012 | encorelifemag.com | 29
mode”, not in “panic mode”.
This isn’t typically the case, hence the request for a massive paradigm
shift. Typically the request for home modifications comes when mom (or dad) ALREADY FELL. They are in the hospital, having a surgery, and going to a live-in rehab facility for 2-8 weeks, with the hope that they can return home after the rehabilitation is complete.
BUT, when they come home they are going to have different
(andindividually specific) needs than when they left! HELP is the inbound call now, not “we’d like to help prevent this with a pro-active solution ahead of the changes that are coming”. It would sure be nice if we could get THIS inbound call, vs. the prior scenario. In the 8-12 weeks that your parent is out of the house, we can’t pull off a MIRACLE. Trust me, I wish we could… but we CAN’T. We may be able to get a G.C. (General Contractor) to put a few “band aids” in place, but we can’t actually design, permit, and construct a project that is the BEST solution for the specific client in this amount of time. PLANNING for aging is what’s required for the BEST solution. A solution that can quite realistically: 1) Add years to your LIFE. There are statistics from AARP that suggest that being able to stay home can literally extend your life expectancy. Again, psychology is at play here.
Remodeling your home to feel
safer is going to allow you to focus on the things you ENJOY, not the things you FEAR.
SMILE starts with keeping your OWN LIFE. When you can stay in your home you get to keep making our own decisions, your own schedule, your own choices in your daily life. You get to keep your garden, your yard, and your pet. You get to stay in a place where you want people to come visit you, and they enjoy coming there and spending time there. These are all things that are inherently a part of your happiness in the second half of life. 2) Add years to your SAVINGS account. We are writing a white paper right now for the financial planning & retirement asset management industry, letting your “trusted advisor” know that there are literally HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of DOLLARS hiding in your own home. We explain the math, and how much you can save each year with an Aging In Place remodeling solution coupled with part time professional in-home care, when compared to the national average costs for the different “move out” facilities in the continuum of care (independent living, assisted living, skilled nursing, nursing
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home, etc.) –See also our article “Don’t Slip… One fall could land you in BANKRUPTCY”. 3) Make your home work better for EVERYONE. Good Universal Design (“Inclusive” design) for Aging In Place isn’t a process of adding “hospital parts” to your home. Far from it. The products that are available nowadays are a wonderful and extensive departure from the stigma of the 80′s “retirement facility” or “nursing home”. Good professional design implementation with these products can literally make the products “disappear”. People don’t realize what they are using in these new and better products, they simply notice that it works well / better. This is true for all users – the client, and the caregiver. It will work better for a child, a parent, or a grandparent. It will work better for someone with a short term injury, someone with genetic height differences (“little people”), for someone that had their abilities altered by a car accident… the list goes on. EVERYONE is who will benefit. It will be true for the next buyer or occupant of the home as well, especially considering the demographic bulge of older Americans we’ll experience over the next 30-40 years. That’s the kind of “Ensure-ance” (Insurance) we’d like you to consider. When you are ready to help make the paradigm shift, starting with your own realistic and pro-active view of the years ahead, get in touch with us. We’ll be excited to help!
Aaron Murphy, CAPS is a licensed architect with over 15 years of experience and has worked on both commercial and residential projects. He is a part of many associations and civic groups in Kitsap County, WA. He speaks widely on the subjects of “Aging in Place” and “Empowering the Mature Market.” You can contact Aaron at the following: (Click on the images to be linked to his sites)
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Easy Christmas Décor To Make By Joyce Joneschiet, Editor in Chief I am a happy pinner (on Pinterest that is!) and found some great easy things to do yourself to make your Christmas a little brighter. I don’t have a lot of time to craft things so I tried to pick those that I could put together quickly and/or do with friends. I have two ideas for candles that are really fun and pretty that you can make very easily. Then I have a craft that I made out of tried and true paper snowflakes. Something any child or friend can make with you! It was lots of fun to hang out with my grown daughters, friends and mom as we snipped and then threaded our creations together. I also tried out Instagram for the first time on my iPhone when I took the shots. The many filters available for different looks made even my amateur photo-shooting attempts look not too bad!
Easy-Peasy Cranberry Candle This candle can be made using a mason jar, any herb or greenery on a stem and whole, fresh cranberries in water with a floating candle. I used rosemary for my greenery as it also reminds me of pine needles and has a wonderful piney smell. A wide-mouth mason jar is what was originally used in the Pinterest post but I didn’t have any. This is all about using what you have in a non-fussy arrangement and making the most of it!
Peppermints & Sugar Candle This candle has an elegant look but also reminds me of my favorite Christmas childhood candy canes. I used Xylitol sugar substitute as it has more sparkle than regular sugar. Then I just smashed up some large stick candy canes! I did have a bit of trouble with this at first as there were no directions with the picture. Every time I poured the sugar over the peppermints, they would be absolutely covered over. So then I cut out some paper circles that fit the inside of the cylinders and that helped a lot! There are actually two sides of these candles: the side you
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see here and the side where there’s more definition to the layers. Which do you like the best? I think I actually like the side where the sugar melts more into the candies – but you choose. It depends on how tight the circles are inside the glass! So here’s a picture during my making of the candles where I’m putting the circle first on top of the sugar and then on top of the crunched candy. I hope you have fun making these!
*Special thanks to Melanie of Stitched in Seattle for the use of her lovely damask runner in the first two crafts!
Snowflake Curtain I had a great time getting together with family and friends to cut these snowflakes out! We used plain white copy paper which seems to show up better than anything else. Just the purity of the white looks terrific! I found out there was trick to making these though. When I was a kid, I made 8 or 16 pointed flakes and I could never figure out why mine just didn’t look right. You might know this already but there’s a simple technique to get the six pointed flakes. Here’s a link to Martha Stewart’s easy instructions on how to fold your paper correctly! Click here for the right instructions. Just go through the slideshow to see step by step info! After you get the hang of it – it’s really easy – I found some great patterns that we used to make these. Some of them were just cut without a pattern but we started with using a pattern. Once we got the hang of it, we just started cutting. Have fun doing what feels more creative to you! If you’d like to see the patterns I used, click here on the link from Pinterest. Then after we cut out our lovely snowflakes (if I say so myself!), we ironed them with a cloth between the iron and paper on a low setting. Taking needle and white thread gently sew them together, leaving string between if you wish or tying them close together. Try to stagger them for the best effect by hanging them from short and long threads. You can either tie them to a dowel and hang it in front of the window or tie the threads around your curtain rod so you can move them back and forth, if you wish! I hope you enjoyed these ideas and found some ways to make your time at Christmas simpler and more fun! Encore Life © | Winter 2012 | encorelifemag.com | 33
AAA Approved — Is There Anything Behind The Hype? Should the AAA seal of approval on an auto repair facility convey trust and reassurance? Or is it just another over-hyped marketing ploy? Let’s break this down a little. By Elizabeth Kriesten
What does a shop have to do to get the AAA recommendations? There are some pretty thorough requirements to get AAA a recommendation. The shop has to have at least one employee with an ASE certification in each advertised area of expertise (brakes, a/c, suspension, etc…). The shop must have current tools, especially the appropriate diagnostic ones. AAA takes a poll of the 200 most recent customers for over-all satisfaction; the approval rating has to be a minimum of 90%. If you’re thinking those are pretty high standards, you are correct. Many shops that do not think they can meet those requirements will not even apply. What do you stand to benefit from that approval? If you are an AAA member: Through AAA, your repairs have a 12-month/12,000 mile guarantee. If you have a dispute regarding a repair, AAA will step in and arbitrate the problem. How effective is the arbitration system? This is probably one of the most reassuring aspects of this approval system. The number of disputes that even make it to the arbitration process are quite low. In Washington State, for example, it is estimated to be about 3–4 a year. Essentially, shops that are willing to abide by these standards are interested in finding resolutions to conflicts, rather than having unhappy customers. What that means to you is that you are dealing with managers and owners that understand that happy customers are better for their bottom line than anything else. What about shops that don’t have AAA recommendations. Do I assume there is a problem with them? No, AAA is very clear about what their standards can say. Their seal of recommendation is always positive, but the lack of it cannot be proof of anything. For example… I’ve noticed none of the national chains are AAA approved. Why? Because of the stan-dard set, AAA cannot approve a single shop without automatically bestowing that approval on every shop in the chain. And approving every shop in the chain is difficult, especially on a larger chain, so it’s rare to see. In conclusion… There will never be a seal of approval that is bulletproof, and nothing will ever beat word-of-mouth (even if that word-of-mouth has traveled electronically through social media), but the basic idea behind the AAA approval system is well thought out and it is managed well.
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In looking at the AAA recommended shops in my area (click here to search for yours), they all were shops that I knew to be locally owned with very good reputations. There are shops that I could recommend, based on what I have personally experienced, that were not on the list. But as a rule of thumb, if you were new in town and you used the AAA recommendations as a guide, you would stand a very good chance of finding a well-run, reputable shop. Interested in more tips on finding a great mechanic? Check out this article. Looking for more specific advice? Call us before you make a decision regarding your next auto repair. Why wouldn’t you want an advocate on your side who knows the repair business from the inside? Try a one-on-one phone consultation with one of our MechanicSpeak technicians. www.mechanicspeak.com
Click on this video above to see Elizabeth’s video! And if you want a 1-on-1 phone consultation to discuss your diagnosis and estimate (only $25!) click on the link below for more information. www.mechanicspeak.com
Working on cars/light trucks since 1991, Elizabeth Kriesten has been employed by Dodge, Lincoln-Mercury and Mercedes-Benz authorized repair facilities, the occasional large chain and even a few backyard mechanics. But her most satisfying role was as owner/operator of her own repair business. She has been Master ASE Certified, and specializes in electronic diagnostics. She holds an Associate’s Degree in Automotive Technology and Electronics Technology as well as a Bachelor of Science in Applied Mathematics. When asked about her philosophy of customer service, she quoted Red Auerbach, “Communication isn’t what you say, it’s what they hear.” She currently is the head honcho of MechanicSpeak, a 1-on-1 phone consultation service with on-call mechanics.
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The Procrastination Cure By Stephanie Owens
Does procrastination keep you stuck in the same place you were a week, a month or a year ago? Does your To-Do List just keep getting longer and longer? Maybe you tell yourself you “really should…” but keep putting it off. Do you promise yourself you’ll make a change “starting on Monday” then never follow through? If you said yes to even one of these questions, I bet you feel you are constantly running, but getting nowhere. Amazing, capable people sabotage their potential and best life in an epidemic of procrastination. Whether the impact is on their relationships, personal life, career or health, procrastination leaves even the most well intentioned people overwhelmed, stressed, frustrated and SO hard on themselves. Procrastination costs big time! It’s expensive emotionally, physically and financially. Procrastination hinders your progress toward your best life. It can keep you stuck in unfulfilling relationships, prevent you from being healthy and fit or block you from making more money. Overcoming procrastination will allow you to off load the burden of carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. This simple formula for overcoming procrastination will get you unstuck and on your way to being happier and more productive…without working so hard. First, it’s important to understand what’s driving you. You procrastinate for one of two reasons. 1. You don’t want to 2. You’re afraid to Either way you probably spend a ridiculous amount of time lecturing yourself about what you “should” be doing. “Shoulding” on yourself wastes time and energy. Spending energy and time badgering yourself about what you should be doing gives the illusion you’re accomplishing something. However in reality you’re spinning your wheels, which accomplishes nothing. Just because it’s a verb doesn’t make it an action. I learned the remedy for procrastination from my husband, Cliff. When we were in college I would occasionally put off schoolwork in favor of watching TV. Of course I’d pause to complain about how I “should” be studying. I didn’t even really enjoy the show because I spend so much time distracted with thoughts of the work I “should” be accomplishing. Finally, Cliff said, “Just pick one! Either choose to watch TV, stop complaining and enjoy it, OR shut off the TV and study.” Irritating, but wise. If you find procrastination gets in the way of climbing the steps that will lead to your dreams (or finishing your taxes or confronting your co-worker or whatever) follow these simple steps: 36 | Encore Life © | Winter 2012 | encorelifemag.com
1. Determine WHY you’re procrastinating. Do you not want to? OR Are you afraid to? If you don’t want to, you have several options: • Hire someone else to do it. • Choose not to do it and accept responsibility for the consequences. (No excuses!) • Suck it up and do it anyway. Take the first small step today! If fear is fueling your procrastination, follow these steps: • Speak your truth out loud. (I’m afraid of being rejected.) • Ask yourself, “What experience from your past does this remind you of?” • Remind yourself you did the best you knew how to do when handling this kind of fear in the past. Be kind and compassionate with yourself, as you would a small, scared child. • Let go of your connection to this past pain. Take a deep breath and let it out. Repeat to yourself, “I forgive and let go.” • If the fear persists, ask yourself, “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?” Take the first step today. Feel the fear and do it anyway. We don’t always get to be comfortable along this journey. (Also, consider checking in with me about more tools I can offer you.) 2. Remove the word “should” from your vocabulary. Replace it with “will” or “choose not to” . For example, eliminate “I should get started on that grant application.” Instead, say, “I will get started on that grant application this afternoon.” OR “I choose not to get started on that grant application.” Be accountable and responsible for what you say you “will” or “choose to” do. This is exactly what I want for you. Quote from Karen Lamb “A year from now you’ll wish you started today.” Stop living with regrets and kick start your best and brightest future today by putting these tools into place take action today! Your best life is waiting! For more information, visit www.pleaseaholics.com/theprocrastinationcure or contact Stephanie at Stephanie@Pleaseaholics.com Stephanie Owens is a coach, speaker and trainer. She teaches her clients how to bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be to create a life they fall in love with. She coaches purpose-driven, high-performance people to achieve not only success but deep personal satisfaction. A small business owner for over a decade, Stephanie blends her experience in the business world with a Masters in Counseling. Whether coaching privately with clients or speaking to groups, Stephanie teaches participants how to stop fear from sabotaging success and unlock their full potential. Stephanie is a recurring guest host on the radio show Chat With Women. and author of a book entitled Be A No Pro: How to Say No, Set Better Boundaries and Reclaim Your Joy. Stephanie lives a peaceful happy life with her husband and two wonderful children. Click on the website image to be directed to her site.
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Encore Careers This is the second installment of our new column for business owners, entrepreneurs & job seekers.
Performance Issue Sally—Do You Know Her?
By Mel West
The other day a colleague and I were catching up, sharing stories when our conversation turned to a reoccurring employee discussion we have concerning “Sally.” You see Sally is a reoccurring discussion that comes up because almost every organization we work with has a Sally and regardless of the organization, when we start working with our clients on this new issue, we find each Sally shares several of the same traits, and management is managing or leading Sally about the same in every instance. Let’s see if you can identify with the Sally we are talking about? Sally is the employee who has tenure with your organization and while your business was growing, she was probably in a lesser role, but over the years, she has been one of your employees who came to work every day, appears to be a very loyal, and cares allot for you, your business and is great with the customers. She is so comfortable in her position that she hasn’t updated her industry skills or kept up with the rest of the organization as it has grown. Depending on the size of your business now, there are several employees picking up the slack for Sally because of her unwillingness or inability to adapt. To top it off, as owners, you are worried that if Sally leaves, you won’t be able to manage without her and the customers who are almost like family to Sally will also leave. Then there is the loyalty factor and how she is more like family. Did I mention that Sally knows she’s in this unique position and while you are not around, she is often trying to show where she stands in the organization? It’s this self-importance that often has her ordering around and being rude to her fellow coworkers in between complaints about how it used to be or how the company is wasting it’s time on these new programs. Could she be the cause to your revolving door? It’s amazing how many great employees have been hired only to find out that they don’t have the knowledge or skill to do the job and decide to leave after only being with you a short time. If you’re like many organizations, whether she is a longtime, loyal employee or even a family member, you can identify the mentioned Sally and since no one really likes dealing with performance issues, you haven’t. Maybe it’s the fear of her leaving and taking your customers with her, the loyalty factor, or the thought of it ruining your longtime friendship. Whatever the reason, you just couldn’t broach this on her after all the years she has been with your company.
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Each time I work with an organization who feels handcuffed to an employee, it is disheartening, but it could be this lack of accountability and not dealing with Sally that is affecting your organization’s morale, loss of productivity, putting you on the road for a potential lawsuit or other legal issues. Ultimately, it is fostering a lack of respect for you the owner. In most cases, business owners do not choose to go into business for their love of people management. People management and leadership are really unavoidable for a business owner and the more your business grows, the more you must spend dealing with people issues. In any case, each situation presents a unique opportunity for all parties to grow. As we start to look at the issue at hand and begin to develop the right course of action, I would like to ask you, the business owner to first complete a personal inventory and honestly assess your management of Sally. More than likely, Sally is a by-product of your leadership style over the years. She is emulating your leadership style or pushing the boundaries based on what she knows she can get away with. This won’t be easy, but if you want to make change, it has to start with you. Once you begin to address these issues by holding yourself accountable and addressing Sally performance deficiencies, the other employees will thank you, Sally will eventually thank you, but most importantly, you will thank yourself. This will also allow my colleague and I to turn our discussions to the other challenge many organization face, “Tom.”
Mel West is President of West Business Concepts, Inc., a performance-consulting firm in Tacoma, WA. He has a passion for helping people succeed both in their personal and professional lives. He relates his work to being in the logistics business, where he helps his clients identify and achieve success, so they can go from where they are to where they want to be. It was through his passion and work, where the TacomaPierce County Chamber of Commerce recognized West Business Concepts with the Veteran-Owned Business Award during the 2012 Spotlight! On Business Awards. Mel brings over 20 years of management experience with leadership roles in the financial services industry, manufacturing, and the military that includes operations, marketing, sales, finance, human resources, compliance, and quality management. His insight provides a unique perspective and expertise to help companies increase their revenues, improve their profitability, and strategically lead their organizations more effectively through his hand on approach to coaching and consulting. Mel was the co-host of the BizTech Talk radio show focusing on business and technology trends. An advocate for Credit Unions and the members they serve, Mel provides Credit Union consulting services as a CU Breakthrough Consultant with the National Federation of Community Development Credit Unions and with his company, West Business Concepts. Mel’s Credit Union experience includes roles as the Sr. Loan Trainer and District Manager at Boeing Employees Credit Union ($7 Billion), Vice President of Operation and Compliance Officer at Woodstone Credit Union ($94 Million), and Executive Vice President and Compliance Officer at American Lake Credit Union ($45 Million). A Past President of the Pierce County Chapter of Credit Unions, he was honored with the 2009 Credit Union Professional of the Year Award. He also holds his Credit Union Compliance Expert (CUCE) designation and is a graduate of Western CUNA Management School. He earned his Masters of Business Administration (MBA) from St. Martin’s University and his Bachelors of Science Degree (BS) in Workforce, Education, and Development from Southern Illinois University Carbondale. Mel is a U.S Navy Submarine Veteran. He has also been recognized with several other career distinctions and certifications.
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Spiritual Corner Asking God for What You Desire Setting A Faith Intention By Darvi Mack So often in our lives when we are presented with challenges we tend to focus on the challenge, whatever that might be—business failure, loss of employment, forced retirement, spouse leaving, not enough money to make ends meet, issues with your children, family members, health problems, relationship challenges, death and divorce . I could go on for days but the point is whatever we put our attention on grows. We are all prone to this unproductive mental habit of focusing on the problem so if that has been you, know that you don’t stand alone. I recently had to snap myself back into right thinking when I noticed I was praying from the problem rather than from my faith intention. Ask God for what you desire by setting a faith intention to receive the answer or solution to your desire (that is anything that you deeply want and are emotionally connected to) as your aim – is one key to strengthening your beliefs and keeping your mind on the right track. Today I will share with you one of the ways you can do this through prayer when faced with challenging circumstances. First you look at the challenge that is facing you. Then you lay it out before God, asking Holy Spirit for help since Holy Spirit is the Helper. Only lay it out once then release it, let go of the problem by giving it over to God, remaining open to God’s solution which may be different from what you think. Next, set the intention with faith and confidence you will receive the solution to this issue. You already have emotion to get this challenge resolved, however now the energy is that of faith and confidence that the right answer is on the way. The use of intention in prayer is not praying the problem. It is focusing on the solution through the prayer of asking. It is asking God for what you need by focusing on and praying the solution. The Bible is a great tool you can use to focus on solution. Grab a Bible and seek by searching for situations similar to your challenge. This does two things – 1. Builds your faith through knowing God has helped with issues like this before and 2. Get’s your mind out of worry mode and on to the solution. I realized a long time ago, there is nothing new under the sun. Humanity’s problems haven’t changed, they are just packaged differently. The answer and encouragement can generally be found in the Bible. In fact, most of the revered success books and teachings align with Biblical principles. However, it requires understanding and wisdom to know how to apply a Biblical solution to your specific challenge. You can use the scripture to help you focus on the solution. Next, ask Spirit what you can do to resolve this matter and expect to get an answer. The answer may come in many forms; a scripture, a book, a movie, a person, an article, a song etc. Sometimes the answer comes instantly, sometimes it comes through knocking – that is asking for other’s input or help and 40 | Encore Life © | Winter 2012 | encorelifemag.com
further research. And it comes through paying attention to the leadings, promptings, and nudges from Spirit within and following that inner guidance. Sometimes the answer comes in all of those ways. The key is to set your intention to expect an answer and act on what you are receiving. Setting a faith intention opens the door, builds your faith, calms your mind and clears the pathway for your answer. Scripture references: John 14:16, Matthew 7:7, Mark 11:24 Amplified version. Want to explore one on one private or group coaching support with Darvi? Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s explore how I might best support you.
Darvi Mack, Speaker, Minister, Success Achievement Mentor, Breakthrough Coach and Author earned MA, BS, Certified NLP, Dream Coach, Spiritual Coach and Trainer takes your inspiration and turns it into practical wisdom so you achieve success and make the positive impact you were uniquely designed to make.
100 Things to Do When You Retire By Clare Evans After decades of living for our careers, reaching retirement can be a big shock. After all, how can you make the most of this free time and really start living life to the full? They say that – after our school days – our autumn years are the best of our lives. So with that in mind, here are 100 great things you can do when you retire: Social Activities Spend time with family and friends. Reconnect with people you lost touch with. Write them letters, email them, go and visit. Throw a family reunion so everyone can reconnect or meet for the first time. Join a book club and attend the social meetings Hold coffee and cake mornings for the local retirees in your area. Join a club for example chess. It’s a great way to get out the house, and meet new people. Attend bingo with friends and have a laugh. You may even win some money too! Babysit the grandkids. Get a dog. Pets are hugely social, and will help you fill your days. Become a ‘Silver Surfer’. Learn how to use the Internet and connect with loves ones via Facebook or emails. Find a foreign pen pal. You can learn all about another culture as well as make a new friend. Join a theatre group and put on amateur productions. Help out a neighbour by doing their cleaning/gardening etc. Throw dinner parties. Hold games nights for your friends and family. Have date nights with your spouse. Go speed dating if you’re single. Have a day out with the grandkids and do something that they want to do.
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Join a choir. Share your family photos with other relatives. You were young once too Crafts and Hobbies Learn to play a musical instrument. Start painting or drawing. Learn to bake great cupcakes. Master a recipe for a dish you’ve always wanted to cook. Perfect a signature dish. Tend to your garden. Grow plants, or even your own veg. Take up photography. Capture the things that matter to you, and document your free time. Write a book or start a blog. Make something and sell it online. Learn to knit and make a jumper, scarf, or hat for your loved ones. Become a freelancer. You can work as little or as much as you like, and even make money from your new found photography hobby! Become a collector. Stamps, coins, anything! Go fishing. After all, “a bad days fishing is better than a good day at work” Take up flower arranging. Learn how to craft beautiful displays for your family and friends. Create a scrapbook full of memories and old photos to share with your loved ones. Take up woodworking and carve something you can use. Become a birdwatcher. All you need is binoculars and a book full of birds. Submit an article to a local newspaper. Take a pottery class. Everyone remembers the infamous scene in Ghost, right? Sporting Activities Join a bowls club Join a gym... Or fitness class. Run a marathon. After all, you have plenty of time to train now! Take up rambling and do all your local walks. Go dancing and learn to foxtrot or salsa. Take up yoga. Learn to play golf. Get a season ticket for your favourite sports team and follow their games. Go to a major sporting event like the Grand National, World Cup Finals, or Olympic Games. Learn to ski and go on a skiing holiday. Coach your grandchildren’s football team. Become a regular cyclist and enjoy your local cycle routes.
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Learn to ride a horse. Cultural Activities Read all of Shakespeare’s plays. Read ‘The Classics’ such as the novels by the Bronte sisters. Visit art galleries and appreciate all the great pieces on display. Travel the world. Or visit a country on every continent. Get out and about, and see the world. Learn a new language and put it into practice on your travels. Visit museums. Learn about your local history and admire the relics on display. Make regular visits to the theatre to see all the plays you ever wanted to. See the sights in your home town. We often take for granted the cultural significance of our home town. Get out there and make the most of it. Stand up for a cause. Join a politically rally, attend demonstrations, fight for something you believe in. Be an active member in your local religious group. Make a pilgrimage to a place of religious significance. Visit the ‘7 Wonders of the World’. Go to the cinema once a week. Try cuisine from all around the world. Go to the opera. Go to the ballet. Go to a music festival. It doesn’t have to be as wild as Glastonbury, and you could go for one day. Have a long weekend on a canal boat Learn sign language and communicate with a deaf friend. Watch the sunset on an exotic beach. Go on safari. Visit London and see Buckingham Palace, the London Eye and more. Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower. Miscellaneous Activities Do something for charity. Hold a coffee morning, bake cakes, or do a sponsored activity. Do something you told yourself you never would. Jump out of a plane, swim the channel, or learn to dive.
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You only live once after all. Do something you’ve always wanted to like open your own business. Spring clean your house and throw away all your clutter. Paint your living room or do all those little modifications you never had time to before. Volunteer at a local church, shop or school. Research your family tree and share your findings with your family. Become a college tutor. Eat every dish at your favourite restaurant. Go back to school and get some more qualifications. Buy a place in the sun and spend as much time over there as you can. Enjoy some ‘me time’. Jump on the train to anywhere. Go somewhere random and make a day of it with your partner or a friend. Swim with dolphins. Who doesn’t have this on their bucket list, right? Move to the country... Or the city. Whichever you’ve always dreamed of. Go on a cruise. Quit smoking. Sleep under the stars. If you’ve never been camping, there’s no time like the present! Go to a spa and be pampered for the weekend. Buy a motor home and take off at a moment’s notice. Complete the hardest level crossword in your local paper. Enter a radio or TV phone in and share your opinion. And Finally... NOTHING! Relax and enjoy your retirement – you earned it! So there you have it, 100 things to do when you retire.
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A MOVING STORY By Sue McGuire Part Three: Jane and Tom Give Away Belongings Once Jane and Tom selected an apartment in a retirement community and finalized their floor plan, they had a pretty good idea of what they wanted to take with them. But there were so many cherished belongings in their home that they could not take! Jane said that deciding what to do with these belongings weighed heavier on her mind than any other part of the move. But their move was coming up fast, and they needed to see progress. Jane and Tom decided to offer many of their belongings to their three children. But they wanted a fair process that would not hurt anyone’s feelings. Their solution? Jane and Tom invited their children—no spouses or grandchildren—to visit for a weekend. Jane gave each child a packet of colored dots. The children walked through the house and dotted anything he or she particularly wanted. For those items Jane and Tom planned to move with them, the dot stayed on the item, hidden from view on the back of the picture, on the bottom of the vase, on the back leg of the desk. When they were all done, they discovered some items had just one dot, so the child took that item right away. Inevitably though, many items had two or three dots on them—several children wanting the same item. The children made a list of those and started negotiating. The process took some time and Jane and Tom stayed out of it. The children respectfully made the process work. Jane and Tom’s friends in a similar situation used a different approach. They sent out a letter to their children listing all the items in their home that mattered to them. They asked each child to mark the items they cared about, make comments, and send the letter back. They then took each child’s comments, meshed it with their own desires, and made the decision that became officially part of their will. When families are able to work together in a graceful and caring way, they offer a valuable gift to their parents and to each other. Although the process was emotional for Jane and Tom, they could clearly see how pleased their children were to take with them some of the special belongings they remembered from their childhood. Jane and Tom’s moving day was approaching fast. Their next step—covered in the next issue—was how to store belongings they did not want to give away but which would not fit into their new apartment.
Sue McGuire heads up the South Sound office of Segue. She has lived and worked in the Tacoma area for
35 years. She has a Masters degree in planning and over 30 years experience providing business management, marketing, and project management services to private and public clients. Sue has run her own consulting business, managed a private-non-profit social service agency, and was marketing director for the Tacoma office of a national engineering firm. Click on the website icon for
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