BODY IMAGE AND ACCEPTANCE AFTER SCI

Self-love coach, nutritionist and yoga teacher, Casey Gemma, shares how her body image changed following SCI and how she has found acceptance of her new physique

In the early stages of spinal cord injury, watching our bodies physically change can be a constant reminder of how our lives have changed. I witnessed the rapid muscle atrophy in my once strong legs. I noticed my belly sticking out, as I had lost the muscles in my abdomen and looked permanently bloated. It was a daily reminder that I could no longer use my legs or core. I felt I had lost all control over my own body, I felt weak. Body composition changes quite quickly after a SCI and we are likely to see an increase in body fat and a decrease in muscle mass below the level of injury. Although this may seem insignificant in comparison to loss of sensation and function, it can be very difficult to witness our bodies changing out of our control. This was certainly true for me.

I am a T8 complete paraplegic and at the time of my accident, I was the strongest and fittest I had ever been. By the time I was weighed in hospital, a few weeks after my accident, I had lost 10kg. I remember being so shocked looking in the mirror. I thought I looked so weak, and barely recognised myself and my own body.

Acceptance

Acceptance for me began when my physio, Kirsty, entered the room with some small weights and resistance bands, smiling. I began strengthening the areas of my body that I could still control.

Then came a deeper level of acceptance. ‘I am alive’ I told myself.

I’m nearly two years into my injury now, my body looks completely different to how it did pre-injury but 90% of the time I am okay with that.

Turn the page to find my ten steps towards improving your body image

Lady-Marie Dawson Malcolm

Before my injury I thought of myself as glamorous. I loved my high heels and clothes; they were important to me. In rehab I was only allowed to wear jogging bottoms and trainers, with no bra because of the wires and potential restriction they cause. I spent so long in casual wear, and it just wasn’t me. After I came out of rehab, still not knowing if I could wear anything other than jogging bottoms, I used to hide. I didn’t want anyone to see me. I didn’t go out and I avoided looking in the mirror. I just didn’t feel like me. My daughter was only six months old at the time of my injury and I wanted her to see her mum as a confident woman. I wanted her to grow up confident. I think that triggered the start of my turning point in terms of how I felt about myself and my body image. I wanted people to see me again and not just my chair.

I started to go out and began a college course. I thought about what I could do to make me feel good about myself. It’s important to know who you are as an individual and to find your own value in yourself.

You can’t change other people’s mindsets, but you can change your own. I gave away all my old clothes when I was told I couldn’t wear them anymore, but I found new ways to look the way I wanted to. I wear beautiful long skirts to cover up my swollen legs, and get clothes made so that they fit me and my shape and look how I want them to.

I am now in my 30th year of injury and I’m still able to maintain good posture and wear nice clothes and my high heels! I found ways to feel like me again and to feel confident in my physical appearance.