A HOME DIVIDED: What Life is Like When Your Family Has Aggressively Different Political Views

Peyton Bigora

The purpose of political parties has morphed from organizing the country by basic policy beliefs to splitting it down the middle. The division continues as politics have seeped into people’s homes separating family members to the point of screaming matches, violence and complete disconnect.

The American University campus is no stranger to politics, and it wasn’t difficult to find students with families who have strong political beliefs. Collegiette sat down with four AU students who were willing to open up about living in a household where their parents’ political views differed wildly from their own.

But the stories these students told went beyond politics, and into the core part of the relationship with their families, proving that the country is not the only thing divided and full of political tension.

Cami - Sophomore

“I was raised on, very much, two things in my entire life. That the only source of truth in the world is FOX News and God,” the Houston, Texas native tells Collegiette.

Cami is no stranger to politics as she has worked alongside Houston politicians Gene Wu (Dem) and Mayor Sylvester Turner (Dem). Being a Democrat herself, when she went to work for Kevin McCarthy (Rep) on the Hill, it was only to please her Republican parents who persuaded their daughter to expand her views.

“I worked in politics kind of off-and-on, but I think I’ve decided that it’s not really for me,” Cami said. “I think that my relationship with my family suffers a lot when I work in politics.”

Despite Texas being a red state, Houston itself is much more left-leaning. While Cami sides more with her city, her parents are registered Republicans and Trump supporters. Cami’s mom grew up in rural Louisiana and went to school during the time of desegregation. Her dad, who is originally from New Jersey, bases his vote on which candidate will benefit him the most tax wise. “He thinks Trump is an idiot,” Cami remarks.

“My parents have both met Trump and neither of them necessarily like him. But they still chose to vote for him because they felt he was going to do a better job than Hillary was. They also like really disliked Hillary.”

Cami credits her views being shaped based on what she has seen outside her own home. “I think universal healthcare is a basic human right, and if we deprive people of that it’s pretty bad,” she said. “I think that also has to do with the friends I kept growing up who would have to struggle with medical bills.”

“My parents were more [about] protecting their own assets,” Cami continued. “So they’re very much for everyman-for-themselves. And I’m kind of more [for] fostering the community.”

Even with the household rule being ‘don’t talk politics’, according to Cami, when arguments do come up they’re typically between her and her mom. “There’s been several times where our political views have escalated to a point of physical violence,” Cami said. She recalled a time when her mother cancelled the family’s Netflix subscription because the Obama’s joined Netflix’s platform. Cami confronted her mom, upset that she had cancelled their subscription and things quickly spiraled.

“We got into a very intense fight. She called me a snowflake and then I told her to go fuck herself. And then she tried to beat me,” Cami said with a laugh.

Cami assured Collegiette that she was in no danger, but did go on to say that there were times she left the house because of the tension that would build up over politics. Out of all there is to debate about in politics, however, Trump is the most polarizing force within the household.

These confrontational fights have also made their way onto the internet with Cami’s mom running an extremely farright Facebook account. Even with the distance between Houston and Washington, DC, Cami spoke about how she can’t post her own political opinions because her mom will attack her in the comments or even call her up to yell at her.

“My mom’s one of those Facebook people that actually helped with the Russia Facebook infiltration,” Cami said. “She’s on a list. Like a government watch list because of how extreme some of the things she posts are.”

Cami believes she has since unfriended her mom on Facebook, explaining that most of her mom’s posts are fake news stories and conservative memes that Cami considers especially offensive towards liberals.

Despite the physical altercations and social media backlash, Cami still feels she has maintained a good relationship with her parents. Luckily for Cami, her parents are more socially liberal and support the LGBTQ+ community, are pro- Planned Parenthood and side with civil liberties. So there is some overlap in values that allows Cami to speak freely, with her mom especially, about being bi-sexual.

Grace Nowak

Nick - Freshman

If you’ve seen the 2018 documentary “America to Me”, then you already have an understanding about where Chicago native Nick Paris grew up. Nick’s high school is oddly liberal for such a conservative area, which is why the filmmakers of “America to Me” chose it as the setting for their unscripted documentary. In addition to attending an intensely political school, his family has also been split in many different directions due to political tensions.

Despite growing up in a place where politics deeply define an individual, Nick has yet to truly choose a party. “A Theodore Roosevelt type progressive,” he answered when asked about how he identifies politically, “I bounce around a lot.” Rather than a party, Nick relies on two values to shape his opinions: Catholicism and not imposing on others’ rights. But he still utilizes his family’s divided ways to challenge any viewpoints that present themselves.

Nick’s parents are more fluid about their political beliefs and raised Nick in an apolitical way. Ligia Rioja and James Paris identify as Democrats but do not fully support how the Democratic Party has evolved over the last 30 years. Any conflict in the Paris household stems mostly from the relationship between Nick’s older, Republican brother, Benny, and their parents.

Nick credited his brother as the reason he decided to come forward and share his story with Collegiette. “My brother worked for The Heritage Foundation,” he said. Benny took a job with the Heritage Foundation, a very conservative Think Tank that specializes and focuses on public policy, during this past summer.

“Him working there over the summer was definitely a point of contention in our family,” Nick continued. Though Benny said he only took the job for the high salary he was offered, his parents still objected to him accepting it.

But working for the Think Tank wasn’t the only source of tension in the Paris household. Back when the Kavanaugh trials were in full-swing, Nick’s parents were very anti- Kavanaugh. While Nick’s father believed in Kavanaugh’s innocence, he still did not support him or his behavior in the courtroom.

For Nick’s mother, however, the situation was very close to her, having experienced sexual harassment at her job. “My mother texted my brother about [the trials] saying ‘Hey, Benny, how do you feel about Kavanaugh?’” Nick said. Benny texted back an article about a pro-Kavanaugh senator and, and when his mother pushed again for a direct answer, he simply told her to read the article. “When you see your son siding with the person who [symbolizes] someone who harassed you in the workplace, it’s a hard thing for a mother to see,” Nick said. “Sometimes I think my mother questions ‘How did my son end up like this?’” She has told Nick and his father about how hurt she feels with Benny being a Trump supporter. Once again, it was a situation that is personal for her with Trump’s ongoing discrimination towards the Hispanic community and her being 100% Bolivian.

“His political opinions have taught me a lot,” Nick said about his brother. “And I think they’ve made our relationship a bit stronger because he feels he can open up to me about them.” Living with Democratic parents in a fiercely liberal environment, Nick turns to his brother to talk politics and play the role of devil’s advocate.

“I find him as a good source of poking holes in what I believe to be right,” Nick continued. “He’s the reason that I’m undecided.”

But the political viewpoint tension has also seeped into Nick’s extended family. On his mother’s side, his aunt, Amalia Rioja, is extremely left leaning and has even worked for former Illinois governor Pat Quinn (Dem).

“[My aunt and uncle] made me and my brother, when we were seven and nine or so, be in a video called ‘Kids Don’t Want Lobbyist,” Nick said. ‘They bribed us with donuts and gummies. And it was just some weird propaganda video that she forced us to be in.”

After raising their kids as apolitically as possible, Nick spoke about how upset his parents were about not being told their children were going to be exploited in an anti-lobbyist video.

As for Nick’s uncle on his dad’s side, John Paris, he has caused a rift among his siblings over his wife and him being extremely active Trump supporters.

“The rest of my family, besides my father and our nuclear family, have really excommunicated my uncle,” Nick explained. “They’ve been fighting with him for two-and-ahalf years now. They all blocked him on Facebook because they kept getting into Facebook arguments about the stuff that he posted.”

“They have pictures with Paula Deen in their house,” Nick continued. “My aunt bought a $7,000 bedazzler with real Swarovski crystals and bedazzled ‘Trump’ across her chest on a shirt. And that was the only thing she used it for.”

Regardless, Nick maintains a relationship with his Republican uncle. “I’ll joke around with him about Trump,” Nick laughed. “Because the whole thing about his support of Trump is a lot of it’s for attention. And he likes attention. And a lot of it is he’s really joking. He doesn’t believe a lot of the things he says, but he says them anyway.”

Grace Nowak

Grace - Sophomore

Grace grew up Republican in liberal South Jersey. She vocalized her beliefs early on, even writing a paper that equated abortion to murder for her eighth grade English class. It appeared she would follow in the footsteps of her parents, both of whom are Trump supporters and avid FOX News viewers. But come high school, her political views changed, and so did her political party.

“I would say my friends and my teachers just really influenced me,” Grace said. “Just from the classes, taking a history class and just learning the views of the parties and stuff. Reflecting on my own views and what I really care about.”

Today, Grace bases her political beliefs on social issues such as the LGBTQ+ community and women’s rights rather than economics. “Just a more caring, less economically oriented view,” Grace comments on the values she appreciates in a political party.

Her mom, Marie Elena Hasson, a Republican and her dad, Dennis Hasson, a right-wing Independent, have values that lie elsewhere when choosing a candidate and political party. “If the stock market’s doing well, that’s what they care about. Stock market: number one priority. How’s our money doing? How’s our college fund doing? Grad school fund?” Grace told Collegiette. “They don’t even care who wins [the election] so long as the stock market does well and the economy does well.”

When it comes to discussing politics at home, Grace considers herself non-confrontational and leaves the debating up to her twin sister, Willow. Though her sister, like their father, is registered as an Independent, Grace said that she does not buy either one of them as “truly independent” and views her father as a Republican and her sister as a Democrat.

Grace’s parents try not to let their political beliefs interfere with the relationship between them and their daughters. “They love me enough,” Grace said with a laugh. “It’s not like it’s a huge issue.” However, there are certain topics Grace does avoid with her family, simply acknowledging that it is uncomfortable to talk about.

But political tension has reached to multiple generations in the Hasson family. Both Grace’s mother and father’s parents are republican and money-oriented. However, sensitive issues such as racism have proven to be problematic in the past.

“They’re horrible,” Grace said as she began to describe her grandparents on her mother’s side. “They had this trick they did with their dog where [they would say] ‘Would you rather be a Muslim or a dead dog?’ and the dog would pretend to be dead.”

While Grace could not change the viewpoints or vulgar ways of her grandparents, she and her sister did have a breakthrough during the 2016 Presidential Election.

“My sister and I talked to my dad so much—my sister, especially, pressured him so much—that he did not vote in the 2016 election,” Grace said. “He liked Trump a little bit, especially because of the economy and stuff like that, but he just did not vote at all.”

Meaghan - Freshman

American University’s student body has a predominantly Democratic-Liberal makeup, so it may come as a surprise to some to hear Meaghan describes herself as conservative.

“I guess I’m conservative basically from the whole standpoint [of] I do believe in a smaller government. I do believe in more power for the people, and in making decisions. Policy-wise, I don’t believe in illegal immigration. I don’t support DACA. I’m pro-life. Economically, I’m very, very conservative—especially in regards to welfare and those kinds of issues.”

These are not unusual conservative viewpoints for today. But Meaghan does go on to talk about where she differs from beliefs typically associated with her political party. “LGBT issues. I’m supportive of that. I don’t really feel like that’s a liberal issue. I feel like that’s a pretty bipartisan issue.”

Meaghan definitely went against-the-grain in her political viewpoints and party compared to where she grew up and whom she was raised by. “Liberal, for me, is like very, very, very, very, very, liberal,” Meaghan said as she spoke about her hometown of Brooklyn, NY. “There is a pretty wide spectrum. I’m really not that conservative. I definitely feel like I’m more-so because I’m in such a liberal environment.” Not only was Meaghan surrounded by a left-wing community, but she was raised by a moderate father and a liberal mother.

But Meaghan didn’t register as a Republican as an act of rebellion against Brooklyn or her parents. In fact, she credits her beliefs with the amount of research she has done on both the Democratic and Republican side. As far back as middle school, Meaghan recalls opening her mind up to politics and gathering her own information on issues. “It’s not that [my parents] didn’t talk about politics, but they never forced their own politics upon me. They let me look to do a lot of my own research on my own things,” Meaghan said.

These skills are ones she has brought with her to American University as she is part of the Lincoln Scholars Program. “The whole philosophy behind [the Lincoln Scholars Program] is that you can’t have your own opinions— established opinions— if you don’t know the other side,” Meaghan said. “I’m very, very open. I love having discussions with people who I don’t agree with,” she said in regards to why the ideology of the program resonates well with her.

This interest in hearing the other side is key when discussing politics with her mom, Maureen Bondi. As Meaghan spoke about her relationship with her mother, she said they were very close, however things would become strained when politics came into the mix.

“I don’t want to say she isn’t the most educated,” Meaghan said, “but she’s very halfway educated. She only looks at things from certain perspectives. She starts looking at issues, with kind of an idea of what she already thinks, rather than having an open mind. Whereas I try to learn about things differently.”

During All-American Weekend in early October, tensions were high between Meaghan and her mom when her mom brought up politics during dinner. “My mom was just saying a lot of stuff and kind of shoving things down my throat,” Meaghan remarks, “I wanted it to be just a nice time [with] my parents.” Meaghan’s dad stepped in as mediator between the two and, though the argument never escalated to yelling, it did leave its effect on Meaghan. “I was very much considering going back to campus because I don’t like feeling uncomfortable.”

While Meaghan and her mom are more passionate and upto-date on politics, her dad, Paul Bondi, takes a more laidback approach. “He’s become much more conservative since talking to me,” Meaghan said, “I think he was in a situation when he registered to vote that he didn’t really care that much. He lived in Brooklyn, everybody else was registering as a Democrat and he just did, [too].”

Meaghan goes on to explain that her dad, not being the most proactive in his political research before elections, would actually take Meaghan’s advice when voting before she was of age. “I’m in a very interesting situation with him,” she said, “where he’s genuinely considering switching to registering as a Republican. He’s voted Republican the last few elections.”

Meaghan cannot persuade everybody onto her side of the political spectrum, however. Though once close with a cousin, Brian Bronzion who is 7 years her senior, when he found out she was conservative, their relationship vanished.

“He is very liberal,” Meaghan said, “and when he found out I was conservative…Brian was very taken aback and got up and left the dinner table we were at. I think it was Mother’s Day. And he just got up, turned around, walked away.” However, the tension does not stop there as Meaghan recalls all of the big life-moments she was excluded from. “He got engaged, didn’t tell me. He got married, I wasn’t there. That kinda stuff. I think a lot of it stemmed from [political beliefs]. That’s very unfortunate.”

Grace Nowak