T H E TA S K AT HAN D F E E D S YOU S O B IT E
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An introduction
S I T D OW N COMICS OR W R I T E R H A RDLY EVEN K NOW H E R
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Mindful Escapism and Authentic Baby
L I A R L I A R S ET S H E R S E L F ON FIRE
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On truth, fiction, and accountability
OBJ E C T I M PE R M E NANCE ☺
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C OR NE R S T ORE C OR NE R S T ON E BODE GA BE DRO CK
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Curating a vibe
Pop up installation
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THE TASK AT HAND
FEEDS YOU
SO BITE
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Second-year graduate students in the MFA Illustration Practice program at Maryland Institute College of Art are given a task: create a body of work in one academic year (roughly six months). Watch for the checkered flag. Ready. Set. Make. This race to create a fully realized project that is both personally meaningful while bearing relevance in the world beyond my studio walls has been an enormous undertaking. However, through the stress-tears and caffeine-sweats, I’ve managed to make work that I believe in and am proud of. What follows is an overview of the pieces I made and the thoughts that percolated along the way.
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My thesis as an examination of personal narrative on a micro and macro scale. The body of work I produced, and the installation that holds it serves as an investigation of memory, nostalgia, and formative experiences set against the backdrop of Brooklyn, NY. The self exploration that resonates throughout my work is representative of my own perspective, however it is written, and presented such that it may be relatable to a much wider audience. I was living in Bed Stuy on the tail end of my second or third adolescence, transitioning into a phase that looked a lot like adulthood. Engaged, supported, loved, these were all adjectives that accurately described my life. From time to time those descriptors shifted to frustrated, stressed, anxious, and fearful, especially when thinking about the future. Faced with a grown up reflection of myself that I didn’t quite recognize, I looked back to see how this future self could truly be a sum of my past parts. I gathered my defining moments, good, bad,
difficult, and asked “Am I who am because of these experiences, or despite them?� This question has stayed with me, permeating my daily life, relationships, and my practice as an artist. I approached my thesis with this in mind, crafting a narrative about big memories packed into small, fleeting moments. Appropriately, this body of work is also a sum of seemingly disparate parts to make and emphasize a stronger whole. The unifying element of my two fifty page narratives, prints, zine, and merchandised art objects is Lucky News & Grocery, an imagined bodega that appears in both my comics, come to life as an installation housing my work, connecting the gallery environment with my larger narrative. Reinforcing both the personal narrative and world building aspects of my work I titled my exhibition Lucky News & Grocery: Thank You Regret Nothing.
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SIT DOWN COMICS
OR
WRITER HARDLY EVEN KNOW HER
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/ Notes on paper and in my phone
Originally, I proposed my thesis as a series of comics and drawings that I could compile into a book and pitch to publishers. I envisioned the collection as a juxtaposition of my west coast childhood with my east coast adulthood, providing a narrative landscape spanning thousands of miles of time and space. Over the summer I finished the roughs for Mindful Escapism, a comic I began writing during the previous spring semester about a childhood memory, and used that as a jumping off point for my project. Although the scope and final outcome of my thesis changed somewhat from the original proposal, Mindful Escapism set the tone for the work that I continued to create throughout the year. I wanted my work to be vulnerable and inward-looking, but also personable, funny, and not overly-serious.
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/ 48 pages, 5.5” x 8.5” Digitally printed on natural toned
MINDFUL ESCAPISM
and environmentally conscious Rolland Opaque Paper
The ideas, emotions, and relationships we have connected to place are complex. Our concept of
/ Page 40 of Mindful Escapism
home changes as we grow up, but it’s always rooted in the memories we keep of our childhood houses, neighborhoods, and secret refuges. Mindful Escapism explores memories, spaces, and questions where, if anywhere, we belong.
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This comic began as a dreamy investigation on the act of remembering. I wrote the script as a stream of consciousness, and the first pass at the thumbs and roughs didn’t deviate far from the draft written on that spring afternoon. The result was a piece that felt fragmented and a little unfinished, and that’s how it stayed for months. I knew I was going to come back to it, I just didn’t know when.
/ An evolution from left to right : dummy versions of the comic in chronological order
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/ Pages 4-21 of Mindful Escapism
Mindful Escapism was in hibernation for a full semester before I revisited it, and ultimately decided to rearrange and rewrite it. After completing Authentic Baby, it was obviously the weaker of the two stories. I had changed my tone, technique, and in a sense ‘leveled-up’ since writing and drawing Authentic Baby. But Mindful Escapism still had merit, and I still wanted to finish it. I scrapped a section about the Heaven’s Gate cult suicide in Rancho Santa Fe that had originally been included to show the extent of wealth stratification in San Diego through macabre but childlike fascination. Instead, I focused on developing a climactic moment for the protagonist in which her perspective on haves and have-nots shifts. Mindful Escapism is a story about Harper, a woman moving into a new apartment with her partner Adam. Feeling stressed by the move, and uneasy with her role as urban colonialist in this new neighborhood, she snaps at Adam while trying to fit their round peg of a couch into the square hole of the apartment door. Soon after, Harper loses herself in a daydream during a meditation class (that she was coerced by Adam into attending). The memories revolve around a summer in which she and her brother often escaped their tumultuous home life by biking to a nearby canyon where they built forts in the scrappy California chaparral. Within this secret haven, Harper and Ethan were protected from the arguments raging between their parents about the family’s lack of financial stability, however they were unaware that their refuge from this metaphorical storm was another’s more literal refuge from the elements. When Harper comes face to face with the man in the brush, she feels fear, remorse, and a twinge of shame that stays with her long after she flees the scene.
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/ Pages 32-35 of Mindful Escapism
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/ Pages 36-39 of Mindful Escapism
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/ Nathan & Me Hiking in the Cuyamacas - Photo by my father
/ At a dinner party in Greenpoint, Brooklyn - Photo by Aubrey Stallard
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AUTHENTIC BABY
/ 52 pages, 5.5� x 8.5� Digitally printed on natural toned and environmentally conscious
There are some decisions in life, some events that not
Rolland Opaque Paper
only change who we are, but continue to define us for years to come. Even as we continue to grow as people,
/ Page 32 of Authentic Baby
these decisions are always with us, no matter how distant they feel. Authentic Baby approaches a choice many women face; whether or not to have a child, and the emotional fallout afterwards.
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I began writing and thumbing this comic as soon as the year began, and what I expected to be a 30-ish page narrative quickly became much longer. In a similar process to Mindful Escapism, I began by writing a script, and let the story shift organically as I moved to thumbs, roughs, and ultimately finals. Like Mindful Escapism, Authentic Baby is a comic that revolves around the act of remembering. However, the protagonist is recalling an event as opposed to a concept or feeling, making the story arc less elusive and the writing process more streamlined.
/ From thumbs to dummy books: A more streamlined process with fewer revisions
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This was an incredibly difficult story for me to work on. The effort of developing this narrative into a cohesive whole through the examination of my own experience, thoughts, and feelings surrounding abortion, pregnancy, and children was draining but cathartic. Fear of judgement and exposure clawed at me as I wrote, taking an emotional toll while also reinforcing my resolve. I knew that this comic was necessary. The fact that one in four women have an abortion in their lifetime, and it still holds the stigma of failure and stupidity in our society is what makes this comic feminist, and relevant to an audience outside of my own personal release. Authentic Baby follows Harper as she heads to her close friend Sarah’s baby shower. After a phone call from with mother in which they talk about how having children changes people, Harper ruminates on her choice not to have a child eight years prior. This choice was complicated, not just emotionally but medically. Authentic Baby is less about how Riley did or didn’t change, and more about how she grew stronger as an individual, thanks to the support of her friend Sarah who cared for her in this difficult time. In the end when Sarah is the one who needs caring for, Riley is ready to provide it. As women, our role of caretaker is assumed. This assumption takes a great toll, however through our networks of female friendships we are able to grow stronger together. To emphasize this point, the singular male character is distanced, referenced predominantly through text messages. Like Mindful Escapism, Authentic Baby includes the Lucky News & Grocery bodega, and the sagely child Clementine, signaling that both stories occur in the same neighborhood and timeline.
/ Pages 4-21 of Authentic Baby
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/ Pages 22-25 of Authentic Baby
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/ Pages 26-29 of Authentic Baby
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/ Dweebs in a photobooth 2009
/ Dweebs in a photobooth 2017
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LIAR LIAR
SETS HERSELF
ON FIRE
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ON TRUTH, FICTION & ACCOUNTABILITY Although they are not diary comics or straight ahead memoirs, both of my graphic narratives are rooted in autobiography. Riley and Harper are reflections of myself, their experiences and memories are based upon my own. By distancing myself from the stories through the use of autofictionalbiography (as coined by Lynda Barry) I was able to develop a story based on real events, but not tethered so tightly to truth that it strangled my ability to write a relatable narrative. Not only did this approach function as an act of self preservation, but it allowed the wiggle room for a touch of whimsy. The act of remembering can often be fantastical and unreliable, and as these comics are layer cakes of memory, (me, the author remembering as I draw these facsimiles of myself remembering my memories) it seemed apt to include a daydream. Enter Clementine, a consistently incongruous element in both stories. A child wise beyond her years, Clementine functions as a memory catalyst moving the plot along, while also serving as another reflection of myself. She is my precocious inner child providing lighthearted commentary on these difficult and serious pages. Although I personally needed the label of fiction to write these narratives, the social issues that arise in the stories are very real. It didn’t seem right to use family income instability, homelessness, and abortion as plot points without resolution. In an effort raise awareness and give back, I decided to give a portion of the proceeds from my comic sales to charity.Twenty percent of Authentic Baby sales is donated to Planned Parenthood, and twenty percent of Mindful Escapism goes to Habitat for Humanity.
/ Image from Authentic Baby
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OBJECT
IMPERMANENCE
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Collecting ideas and influences
When I wasn’t writing, thumbing, and drawing panels, I was thinking about pieces to accompany Authentic Baby and Mindful Escapism. Non-sequential works that supported my overarching narrative, bridging the gap between the printed page and real life. In search for my project’s visual language I began to curate a vibe. I supplemented my research with crowdsourced photos of New York trash sent to me by friends still living in the city. Images of hand painted signage, bodega cats, plastic bags, and an overarching sense of mundane wist piled up on my desktop and in the margins of my notebooks.
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/ Handlettered sign illustration that served as a branding element
BRAND AS NARRATIVE
as well as a prototype for the bodega’s awning, painted with
From my collected imagery I focused in on creating
One Shot lacquer
branded merchandise to fill a bodega kiosk that mirrored the corner store in my comics. Instead of
/ Branded loyalty punch cards that
selling chips, beer, and tampons, my pop-up bodega
also served as my business card
would sell zines, prints, and other ephemera with
for this project
a hearty dash of feels on the side. I came up with reusable imagery that would tie the products together, but not feel overly-polished. I still wanted there to be
rough edges, scanned textures, erasure marks and little incongruities to make the branding feel more illustrated and human. Looking at vintage hand painted signs, I drew an awning to serve as the marquee branding on most products. The stripped down version only showed the hand lettered “Lucky News & Grocery,” but the full illustration included the bodega’s offerings. In place of the usual ‘deli’ and ‘coffee’ are ‘ritual,’ ‘guilt,’ and other emotions that related back to my comics and the overarching narrative. A secondary logo riffed off of happy face plastic bags and their ‘thank you’ messaging. I adopted these elements and, like the sign logo, made them my own through word play and hand drawing. Elements of these logos appear throughout the merchandised pieces, comics, and exhibition installation. The result was a series of branded works that could stand alone as objects, but more effectively supported each other through context, imagery, and story.
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/ Gimme the goods
/ Bodega as it appears in the comics
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while printing
SCREEN PRINTING
/ The printed plastic bag laid flat
I was hellbent on including silk screened works in my
/ Way too pleased with myself
thesis simply because I love the process. Having had / Halftoned pencil illustration layers
previous experience with screenprinting, I was able to employ some more advanced techniques that I wanted to try. One experiment was printing on a material other than paper or fabric. I set out to print a large edition of my own branded plastic happy face bags for my installation. Thanks to a few clever workarounds
and a whole container of gloss medium, I was able to create an edition of 40. I numbered and signed the bags, and gave them out as a limited edition gift to those who purchased comics or merch from me on the night of the gallery opening. I don’t know if everyone understood how special these bags are, but it was worth the effort to pack them full of goodies and hand it over as a complete package. I also used drawings of bodega coffee and cookies to create two mid-size prints. I experimented with halftoning and separating pencil illustrations and printing on colored paper. I particularly liked the result of the Maria cookie print with metallic ink to mimic the gold foil wrapper. 53
/ Bodega Coffee
/ Maria Cookies
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/ 8 page newspaper zine Tabloid size, on newsprint
PRETTY TRASHY The drawings that make up this zine grew out of looking at the photographs of garbage and sidewalk refuse that my friends had been sending me. I drew with materials equally as disposable, pencil and ink on newsprint. I ended up collaging them into four compositions for an eight page zine, and had it printed as a tabloid newspaper to keep the soft feel of the original illustrations.
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/ Pretty Trashy spreads
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/ Initial pin sketch
PINS, PILLS, SMELLS
/ Air freshener design
More than anything, I wanted to have fun creating the merch that filled out my installation. I had spent so much time and mental energy on writing comics that were emotional and well rendered, that I wanted to make some work that required a different kind of consideration. I thought about things I could create that fit into my overall theme, were a little silly, and were dimensional. The three pieces that resulted
ended up being a great experiment in creating illustrated products and packaging. I designed an ‘lucky bag’ enamel pin, a ‘hot garbage’ air freshener, and booster packs of pills to enhance wist and ennui. Beyond the challenge of designing decent products and visually pleasing packaging, I needed to organize a production schedule and delivery to fit into my thesis schedule at the lowest possible cost. I have experience working with clients online, but not production contacts. This was a new adventure, and I was a little terrified to jump in head first. The experience wasn’t just painless, it was really fun. I’m excited to create more illustrated products moving forward in my practice, and find venues in which to sell them. 61
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CORNERSTONE
CORNERSTONE
BODEGA BEDROCK
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/ Audio Layers
The next step in bridging my visual work with the tangible world, was to consider the exhibition space in which I was to show my work. In order to create more of an experience than an installation, I would have to craft an environment that captured every sense, holding the viewer in my space for more than just a fleeting moment. I began by creating a looping 20 minute soundtrack of foley sounds I captured while walking around Brooklyn. I layered sounds of ATM buttons, ambient radio, the constant hum of a bodega fridge, traffic, subways sounds, L train musicians, passing conversations, and of course ordering a slice. The sounds filled the space, accompanying my emotional visual work, and more literal built bodega.
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shopping lists
IF YOU BUILD IT...
/ Constructed and primed
It had always been my idea to recreate the corner
/ Builing plans and convoluted
store in my comics for my gallery exhibition. However / Paint & Caffiene
initially, the idea was more of a gimmick. I wanted to recreate the counter, but keep some of the traditional gallery trappings, with pieces hung or displayed on the wall accompanied by labels. The show was more of an afterthought, and I was focused on trying to make the best work possible on the page. However, when
Whitney Sherman suggested that I contain the bodega as a kiosk, with multiple exposed sides from which to physically interact with my viewers while I “worked� inside, the installation became a much more important component of my larger work. I got started immediately, making use of a larger studio space and building a structure that would be the literal framework of my exhibition. Many thanks are due to my husband Andy who put in hours of work to help me accomplish my goal. With this extra space to work in I was able to rediscover my love of building things, and try out new techniques like traditional sign painting with lacquer, adding dimensionality to my thesis in more ways than one. 73
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/ Giving my gallery talk
Lucky News & Grocery as an installation includes bodega cats, pigeons, and a drawn brick wall that
/ Undergrads reading my comics
prompt the viewer to consider the space between the two dimensional works and the three dimensional space. There are crates to perch one while reading, and a cash register that dings. And on opening night I performed as a component of my work, standing and selling from inside, enveloped by my personal narrative. This was a much more meaningful aspect of the work than I expected, and has prompted me to think about presence effects personal narrative.
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/ The final piece of the puzzle: me
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LUCK AND GRATITUDE Why entitle my multi-dimensional personal narrative *Lucky* News and Grocery? What does Luck have to do with hard work? So much. Life is long, fate is cruel, and I am so grateful that I have gotten this opportunity to make work that is rewarding and fulfilling, with the support of so many incredible artists, writers, professors, and humans. If this recognition of chance and luck prompts me to value the time that I have and the choices I make, then I think it is an outlook that I’ll keep moving forward in my artistic practice and personal relationships. Many thanks to my director Whitney Sherman who helped guide me through this academic year and will remain a source of guidance and friendship for years to come. Thanks also to Kimberly Hall who encouraged me to be brave in approaching personal narrative in my first year at MICA. Cheers, high-fives, and giant hugs to my Illustration Practice cohort, to my friends from New York who love me enough to send me trash pics and come see my show, to my friends and family who sent care packages and fielded stressed-out phone calls. Love especially to Andy for literally everything, always. It’s been wild y’all
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