{RAO}
The kennel worker gave us an approving smile. “His previous owners are expecting a baby soon,” she explained. “They were a little worried about having a big dog around. You can understand that?” “Of course,” I laughed. Glad as I was to be taking the dog back to my apartment that day, I could not help feeling somewhat uneasy about his company. He was so much thinner and more timid than the Junior I had been used to. And his presence was reminding me more of the time I had spent with my wife than with my dog. But I figured we would both feel better after a reacquainting walk through the city. So not long after I brought him home from the train station, I put his leash back on and led him back outside. It was cold out, but we continued walking, unbothered, through the busy sidewalks until the neon signs of every tavern we passed began to glow more brightly in the darkening hour. Had a dog not been with me, I could have gone into a bar. Instead I stopped at a liquor store and picked out a liter of vodka. Then I led the dog back to the apartment for dinner. He must have been starving that night. He had eaten nothing all day, and after returning from a long walk in the cold, he only sniffed curiously at his bowl of kibble before lying back down on the floor. I looked at him with pity and then topped a tall glass of vodka with a can of tomato juice. The way his moping eyes rolled up at me from the floor made me want to drink more quickly. By the second drink, my head was already floating. I called the dog to my side, but he didn’t move. Then I fixed myself another stiff Bloody Mary, which put me over. I stumbled out the kitchen and hit off all the lights. I must have passed out as soon as I collapsed on the bed. Laura came to me in a deep dream that night. She gently crawled over my body and put her lips so close to my face I could feel her warm breath. Then she kissed me softly on the forehead, my chin, and then my cheek. She 149