102 THE REEDER 2018
THE FOUNDATION
HYLKE VAN SLOOTEN MEMORIAL FUND Reflections of a mother, Marieke van Slooten
(Extract from speech given at Hylke’s Memorial Service held at Reed’s on 3rd May 2018)
H
ylke was born in May 1987 as the youngest boy with three older sisters. We always warned the girls to be nice to him because we knew that in time he would become big and strong! And so it happened: the girls were very impressed with their tall, strong ‘little’ brother with whom you couldn’t mess. He was a multi-talent: smart, a sportsman but also socially intelligent with leadership capacities. On the other hand he was very modest, so not everybody realised what a special person he actually was; he didn’t always stand up for himself when he actually should have. He didn’t have that in him. On the other hand, he was a perfectionist like everybody else in this family (sorry, it’s apparently in the genes) and so was not easily satisfied with all the incredible things he achieved, thus often ‘disqualifying’ himself. For instance, both captains of HGC and Schaerweyde hockey clubs have told me that only afterwards did they recognise what an influence he had had on them and the whole team, and how much they had learned from him. This is true leadership. When we lived in England, Hylke and I used to travel during the holidays. We would decide what part of the country we would like to explore, get in the car with just a map (he loved map reading and was very good at it, of course!) and a bed & breakfast book and take off. In this way I think we saw more of this country than others in the family. Hylke’s hockey for England (U16s and U18s) also took us to many places, both locally and abroad. A good way to see more of the world: just follow the kids! Good memories.
With Hylke, what you saw is what you got; he didn’t pretend to be something else other than himself: he was just a very nice guy. He couldn’t believe how popular he was amongst the girls and other people as well, because he thought himself nothing special. But he was someone special who touched peoples’ lives. The last party his partner, Marijn, and he organised in a pub in Amsterdam, just two weeks before he died was absolutely crowded with people of all ages from all walks of life which, I think, genuinely surprised him. Once, when Hylke was already very ill, he said he didn’t want to die because he hadn’t had the chance to make the world a little bit better. That was his goal in life, especially after the time he spent in Kenya. He had loved his stay there and definitely wished to go back. He was frustrated that he hadn’t taken the opportunities to do so, because – then – he thought time was on his side. It wasn’t meant to be. Hylke passed away on 12th November 2017. During my walks with the dogs, where Hylke would join me whenever he could, I once came across a bench at Newlands Corner with a poem engraved, which touched me. I have no clue who the poet is. Sadly the bench is gone now together with the poem. Luckily I had copied it. The flowers talk, yet do not need an answer. The grasses sigh and yet they are not sad. The leaves are rustling, one against the other to tell of all the lovely days we’ve had.
