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MONDAY, AUGUST 19, 2013
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Foundation
Parenting For Success
Self-harming
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elf-harming as a sign of emotional/psychosocial distress and release within adolescents. Self-harming is a way of expressing and dealing with deep distress and emotional pain. When adolescents/ children feel sad, distressed, anxious, or confused, the emotions might be so ex-
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treme that they lead to acts of self-injury (also called cutting or self-harm). Most children/adolescents who inflict injury on themselves do so, because they are experiencing stress and anxiety. Besides cutting, they may use other ways to cause selfinjury to cope with intensely bad feelings such as severely
scratching, biting, picking at their skin, pulling out their hair, punching things, or throwing their body against walls and hard objects, etc. Sometimes, adolescents/ children injure themselves regularly, almost as if it were a routine; other times, they may hurt themselves at moments when they need an immediate release for builtup tension.
Myths and facts about cutting and self-harm
Because cutting and other means of self-harm tend to be a secretive and hushhush subject in our society, people may harbour serious misconceptions about the motivations and state of mind of the adolescent/child. Don’t allow these myths to prevent you from helping someone you care about or that you come into contact
A Broken Mirror, A Bleeding Fist, A silver Blade Against a Wrist, Tears Falling Down to the Lips Unkissed, Ignore Her and She Won’t Exist, She is Not the Kind You’ll Would come to Miss. – Anonymous
with. Myth: Children who cut and self-injure are trying to get attention Fact: The painful truth is that adolescents/ children who self-harm generally do so in secret. They aren’t trying to manipulate others or draw attention to themselves. In fact, shame and fear can make it very difficult to come forward and ask for help. Myth: Children who self-injure are crazy and/ or dangerous Fact: It is true that many adolescents/children who self-harm suffer from anxiety, depression, or a previous trauma – just like millions of others in the general population. Self-injury is how they cope. Branding them with a “crazy” or “dangerous” label isn’t truthful or helpful. Myth: If the wounds aren’t bad, it’s not that serious Fact: The severity of the wounds has very little to do with how much the child may be suffering. Don’t assume that because the wounds or injuries are minor, there’s nothing to worry about.
– ChildLink’s vision is a Guyanese society where every child enjoys the right to a childhood in a safe and caring family, free from poverty, violence, and exploitation
Warning signs
Because clothing can hide physical injuries, and inner turmoil can be covered up by a seemingly calm nature, self-injury can be hard to detect. However, there are “red flags” you can look for (but remember – you don’t have to be sure that you know what’s going on in order to reach out to someone you’re worried about): * Unexplained wounds or scars from cuts, bruises, or burns, usually on the wrists, arms, thighs, or chest. * Bloodstains on clothing, towels, or bedding; blood-soaked tissues. * Sharp objects or cutting instruments, such as razors, knives, needles, glass shards, or bottle caps, in the person’s belongings. * Frequent “accidents” Someone who self-harms may claim to be clumsy or have many mishaps, in order to explain away injuries. * Covering up. A person who self-injures may insist on wearing long sleeves or long pants, even in hot weather.
* Needing to be alone for long periods of time, especially in the bedroom or bathroom. * Isolation and irritability. Perhaps you’ve noticed suspicious injuries on someone close to you, or that person has confided to you that he or she is cutting themselves or self harming. Regardless of what the case may be, you may be feeling unsure of yourself. What should you say? How can you help? * Learn about the problem. The best way to overcome any discomfort you feel about selfharm is by learning about it. Understanding why your friend or family member is self-injuring can help you see the world from his or her eyes. * Don’t judge. Avoid judgmental comments and criticism – they’ll only make the situation worse. Remember, the self-harming person already feels ashamed and alone. * Offer support, not ultimatums. It’s only natural to want to help, but threats, punishments, and ultimatums are often harmful and do not help the child to change. Ultimatums are actually more harmful to the change process. Express your concern and let the person know that you’re available whenever he or she wants to talk or needs support. * Encourage communication. Encourage your loved one to express whatever he or she is feeling, even if it’s something you might be uncomfortable with. If the person hasn’t told you about the self-harm, bring up the subject in a caring way, “I’ve noticed injuries, marks on your body, and I want to understand what you’re going through or what is happening.” * Encourage your loved one seek professional help. Do not keep the information to yoursel; seek others to help in the intervention. Prepare yourself to address difficulties in the family. This is not about blame, but rather about learning ways of dealing with problems and communicating better that can help the whole person to cope with their situation. Self-injury is an unhealthy and dangerous act and can leave scars, both physically and emotionally. Please contact us on telephone number 231-7174 or email us at programmes. childlink@networksgy.com for any support you may need on parenting and other challenges you are experiencing with your children.