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tursday, july 1, 2014
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guyanatimesgy.com
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4 things not to let your Imaginary friends: Should children try on vacation you be concerned?
BY BETH BLAIR
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ravel is all about possibility and exposure and trying new things – right? Well, yes. Mostly. Sampling foreign dishes, taking on adventurous feats, and exploring unseen (to you and your family) territory is all part of the joy of travel. Did you read my story of overcoming my fear of snorkelling (I dread the whole face-in-water thing)? Yes, travel can be about overcoming fears and obstacles, too. However, there are a few times the “go for it” mentality should be waned and that’s when travelling with children. Here are four things not to let your children try on vacation – for the first time.
Peanuts
Many years ago I was working a flight when a mother and grandmother asked me if I knew what could be wrong with their child. The toddler boy was covered head to toe in huge hives and they were getting worse by the minute. I went down a list of possibilities and, sure enough, the parents had given him peanuts for the first time in-flight and he was having a reaction. Luckily, his breathing was okay. The lesson: never give your child peanuts for the first time while flying. Speaking from experience, my daughter decided to potty train herself at age two. All was going well until we hit the road for our annual Thanksgiving trip to Palm Springs. That was when she decided that Pullups were much more convenient than this whole grownup way of doing it. And so she, the originally willing participant, regressed. If you have potty training plans and know that you will be travelling in coming weeks, simply hold off until post-trip when you can dedicate a schedule and routine. As for night time, if your child has a history of wetting the bed or is transi-
tioning to “big kid” underwear, opt for the night time protection to avoid having to call hotel housekeeping in the middle of night and dealing with a damp mattress.
Swimming on their own – ever
Tragically, there have been a few cruise ship drownings/deaths in recent months, some with parents only yards away. As of right now, most cruise ships and hotel pools and some beaches do not have lifeguards on duty. Parents, even if your children are strong swimmers in your backyard or the local YMCA, please don’t let them swim alone while on vacations. Big, deep, crowded, and unfamiliar pools or the unpredictable ocean can contribute to such tragedies. Just because you’re on vacation doesn’t mean you get a vacation from parenting and never assume someone else is watching your little lovelies.
Skiing, snowboarding, surfing, etc without lessons
If you’re going to make the effort of having an active getaway with the family, then forget being cheap and simply dish out the extra bucks so your children can learn how to enjoy the sport via proper training. Professional instruction will not only enhance their fun, but they will learn safety measures of the sport, and your children will in turn become better skiers, snowboarders, or surfers, which means future trips will be more enjoyable for the entire family. Of course, at some point the children will out-grow these limitations but as long as they’re young, keep them safe and comfortable while travelling. (thevacationgals.com)
BY NICHOLE RICHARDSON
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fter watching movies like "The Shining", it can be very alarming to witness your child speaking to imaginary “friends”. You wonder if there is something psychologically wrong with them, or if they are not getting enough everyday interaction in their lives. Fortunately, these common assumptions are almost never true, and having an imaginary playmate can actually be a good sign of a child’s development. Stereotypes regarding imaginary friends were propagated in the 1940s through the 1970s, by childcare guru, Dr Benjamin Spock. In his best-selling books, he advised that children who had imaginary friends needed more time with other children, or help getting along better with other children. On the contrary, evidence from two studies done by developmental Psychologist Marjorie Taylor and her colleagues has proven that children who have imaginary companions tend to be less shy, better able to focus their attention, and able to have more empathy. Taylor isn’t the only one confirming this phenomenon, either. Emily KircherMorris, PLPC, a professional counsellor in St Louis who specialises in working with gifted and high achieving children, also believes very creative children are likely to have imaginary friends. “The more creative the
child is, the more he or she seems to be likely to have an imaginary friend… Drabowski’s Theory of Overexcitabilities talks about how young gifted children who have over-excitability in the imaginative area are likely to have an imaginary friend,” explained Morris. It is estimated that more than half of all preschool through elementary-aged children develop imaginary companions. There are many reasons why this happens, ranging from coping with life changes to pure entertainment. Licensed professional counsellor and registered play therapist, Pam Dyson, agrees with the reasons for “fake” friends being varied. “It’s often assumed that only children are lonely so they create imaginary friends as a way of managing the loneliness. There’s really no basis for that assumption…Some children may develop [them] as a way of coping with a life change…the majority create
makebelieve friends because they find pretending to have a friend to be a lot of fun,” said Dyson. Even if your child seems convinced his pal is “real”, most children understand that these friends are just in their imaginations; however, there may be a brief stint during which your child is insistent on his friend being real. “There is a period of ‘magical thinking’ in which children may believe in magic and fantasy. During this time when reality can be blurred, the child may maintain that their friend is in fact real,” said Cherie Baetz-Davis, a licensed Psychologist in St Louis. Parents can learn a great deal about their children by watching them interact with the imagined friend. The child’s feelings may manifest themselves in the type of play that occurs with the friend. Sometimes children will give the friend the same feelings they are having, so it’s important to note that while observing interactions. “It may also show the parents the extent to which their child can elaborate within the world; having many details of the imaginary friend’s life and world are typical for a highly imaginative child,” said Morris. While it still may be a little unsettling for some parents to witness, having an imaginary friend is nothing to worry over. The only time to be concerned is when the friend is causing the child anxiety, fear, or distress. “If the child becomes obsessed with this play or it interferes with normal social interaction, then parents might want to assess what else is going on. Typically, imaginary friends will drop off when it is no longer socially accepted by their peer group,” said Davis. Overall, the best thing parents can do regarding imaginary friends is to relax and be as involved as the child wants them to be. “Don’t dismiss the friend as not being real and don’t make fun of it either. Have conversations with the friend and engage in imaginative play with your child,” said Dyson. (Everyday Family)