CHOOSING A SCHOOL FOR YOUR TODDLER … TOO SOON? THESE ARE THE MOMENTS And they go by so fast
SPECIAL TOUCH BAKERY Let them eat pie!
• Volunteering as a family • Tips for talking with your teen • Nailing the college essay • Don’t stress this holiday season
A new PBS Kids series dives into marine biology and ocean science Follow the adventures of Splash, a yellowback fusilier fish, Bubbles, a Mandarin dragonet, and their friends as they explore the world’s ocean habitats, make new friends and learn about the many different “citizens of the sea.” Splash and Bubbles is grounded in a marine biology and social-emotional curriculum that focuses on themes of diversity, individuality, and the celebration of discovery.
Splash and Bubbles Weekdays at 10:30am & 11:00am on WXXI-TV Daily at 5:30pm on WXXI-Kids 24/7 2
© 2017 The Jim Henson Company. © 2017 Herschend Studios. JIM HENSON’S mark & logo, SPLASH AND BUBBLES mark & logo, characters andNovember/December elements are trademarks of TheRoc Jim Parent HensonMagazine Company. All Rights Reserved. The PBS KIDS logo and PBS KIDS © PBS. Used with permission. 2017
WRITERS IN THIS ISSUE ROSA ALLISON-MEDFORD is a New York City native and Rochester resident. She worked in the financial services industry before entering the education field. She and her husband and daughter enjoy traveling and recreational activities. When she can find quiet time away from her toddler, she loves reading and writing. This is her first article for publication … and she hopes it is the first of many. KIMBERLY BLAKER is a freelance family writer. Her articles have appeared in newspapers and parenting and women’s magazines throughout the United States. ELIZABETH CRONY is a woman of action, whether executing a marketing plan or mastering the de-cluttering and cleaning of a house. With a degree and background in fashion and merchandising, she is a founding member of Femfessionals Rochester and COO of Big Thinkers LLC, as well as the former president of Blacktie Colorado. She is a happily married mom of two young girls. MELANIE FUNCHESS is the director of community engagement at the Mental Health Association in Rochester, where she is responsible for building connections to diverse communities and assisting with the development and implementation of a community outreach campaign to support engagement and involvement of Monroe County’s diverse communities in mental health and wellness. SUE HENNINGER is a freelance writer, a regular contributor to family magazines, and the coauthor of The Ultimate Guide to College Transfer: From Surviving to Thriving. Contact or connect with her at SueHenninger.com.’ AMY JERUM, DNP, CPNP-PC, PMHS, is a doctorally prepared pediatric nurse practitioner and board-certified pediatric mental health specialist. She is also the mother of three boys. She gets asked a lot of questions about healthcare and parenting and now she’s sharing her answers with Roc Parent readers. She is the director of Workforce Development at URMC Complex Care Center, a faculty member of CAP-PC (Child and Adolescent Psychiatry for Primary Care), and assistant professor of Clinical Nursing at University of Rochester, School of Nursing. DAWN KELLOGG is the communications manager for Geva Theatre Center. She has been in the arts for most of her life and considers herself very lucky to work in an industry that she loves. DEANNA KING is the mother of three pleasant surprises ages seven, 10, and 17. Clearly, she isn’t good at family planning, but has mastered the art of writing — especially the honest truth about parenting. She created the blog CynicalMother.com several years ago. King also worked for more than a decade in Rochester in TV news as a reporter and producer. Nowadays, Deanna’s sarcastic wit can be heard every morning on The Brother Wease Show on Radio 95.1.
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Gifts for kids … to make From tiny hands into your heart Don’t stress the holidays Good advice from the Mental Health Assn. Cover Story Making school plans for my toddler. Too soon? Nailing the college essay Tips for telling your story
We hope you enjoy our November/December issue! If you wish share news with us, you can reach Managing Editor Dresden Engle at Dresden @rocparent.com. If you wish to inquire about advertising please contact Publisher Salley Thornton at Salley@rocparent.com.
Social media = support for moms Facebook posts are often pats on the back
Salley Thornton Publisher
Volunteering as a family Hands-on chances to give back
Dresden Engle Managing Editor
Community Spotlight Special Touch Bakery Book Nook Write on! Awaken the writer within. Curated calendar Three pages of holiday fun! Find our full calendar at rocparent.com
COLUMNS 16 The Organized Clutterbug It’s holiday time —Declutter before decorating 20 The Cynical Mother Embrace the moments … it goes by so fast 22 Ask Dr. Amy Tips for talking with your teen
ON THE COVER Rosa Allison-Medford of
NOVEMBE R/DECEMBER 2017
Thanks for reading Roc Parent & She Rocs magazine!
DEENA VIVIANI works by day as a young adult services librarian at Brighton Memorial Library and by night she writes for children. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and Communications from SUNY Brockport and a master’s degree in Library Science from the University at Buffalo. Deena lives in Rochester with her young daughter, musician husband, and a large number of guitars, computers and, of course, books.
SPECIAL TOUCH BAKERY
CHOOSING A SCHOOL FOR YOUR TODDLER TOO SOON… ?
Rochester enjoys an afternoon with her daughter Maya at Wickham Farms in Penfield. She writes about choosing a school for your toddler on page 10 of this issue. PHOTO BY DANIEL WITOWSKI INSI
Let them eat
Volunteering DE •• Naili as a family ng the
college essa • Tips for talki ng y • Don’ t stress thiswith your teen holiday seas on
Gifts kids can make
By KIMBERLY BLAKER
As the holidays approach your kids may be scrounging to buy gifts they can hardly afford. How about offering them these fun ideas for gifts from the heart?
Offer a free evening of helping someone out, such as babysitting, taking out the trash, reading books to a young relative, making your sister’s bed, pet sitting, leaf raking, or snow shoveling.
SHAPE AND DECORATE SOAPS
Grate bars of inexpensive white soap. Then mix approximately ½ cup of warm water with a cup of shredded soap. Add food coloring to the water to create colored soap. Knead the mixture. Add additional warm water as necessary until it forms like dough. Next, fill cookie cutters with the mixture. Or flatten it on a sheet of waxed paper, and trim into
shapes. Let the soap dry slightly. Then press with small leaves or other designs. Allow the decorative soaps to dry for 24 hours, flipping them occasionally.
DESIGN YOUR OWN PENCILS OR PENS
Purchase sheets of large white labels and cut them into 1.5-inch strips. Decorate the strips with colored markers and then wrap the design around the length of the pencils. Personalize them by adding a smaller label to the center of the pencil with “World’s Greatest Grandma” or another catchy phrase. To protect your pen or pencil design, wrap it with clear scotch tape.
MAKE A PLACEMAT
Choose a subject of interest related to your gift recipient, such as model cars or Barbie dolls. Clip pictures from magazines and catalogs. Then glue them to an 11” x 17” sheet of paper. Overlap the pictures to create a collage, or spread
Roc Parent Magazine
That won’t break their piggy banks
them apart and share details about each. When you’re done, laminate the design with self-adhesive laminating sheets, or have it laminated at an office supply store.
Cut colored paper into 2-by-7-inch strips then design the strips with colored pencils and markers, or clip fancy border from magazines. Find out your gift recipient’s favorite author, artist, or historical figure. Then look the person up in a book of quotations. Select a quote and then type or write it out. Next, add the quote to the bookmark and laminate it for protection.
GIVE MAGNETIC PHOTOS
Cut a piece of cardboard from a cereal box to match the size of your photo. Then glue it to the back of your photo for support. Last, glue a small magnet to the cardboard. Test it on your fridge to see how it works before you wrap it.
ng i r i p s n I g Creatin ng i m r o f r Pe
All Ages All Abilities Instruments
unity m m o r.edu/c e t s e h c esm.ro
0 0 4 1 4 7 2 ) 5 8 (5
Maintaining wellness during the holidays BY MELANIE FUNCHESS
Director of Community Engagement at the Mental Health Association
The holidays can be a stressful time. Family obligations, financial pressure, and end-of-the-year stressors can take a toll on your health. Thatâ€™s why itâ€™s so important to equip yourself with the tools to manage stressful times successfully and maintain your mental wellness.
Roc Parent Magazine
At the Mental Health Association, we ask the question, “Where’s your wellness?” In other words, what are the things you do to promote your own wellness? What healthy habits can you fall back on when times get tough? Whether it is meditation, spending time playing with a pet, walking, listening to music, calling a supportive friend, or visiting a counselor, make a plan before the holiday season to meet your needs and recharge your spirit. Make your own mental health a priority.
One common way to deal with stress is to overindulge in food and drink during the holidays. Overindulging can have long-term consequences that impact your health. Making a self-care plan can help you resist the temptation to fall back on unhealthy habits during times of stress.
Not everything has to be perfect. You don’t have to be “superwoman.” Ask yourself what really needs to be done and don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself. Prioritize what’s really important. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it, too. You’re not alone.
Know when to say “no”
If you feel overwhelmed by your activities (or the activities of family and friends), learn to say “no.” You don’t have to go to everything and it’s important not to take on more than you can handle. Start saying “yes” to you! Say “yes” to you prioritizing yourself and your wellbeing. The holidays can be a time where we put off allowing ourselves to rest. Taking time to take care of yourself sometimes means saying “no.”
Building the skills to manage stress and support your mental wellness can be challenging at any time. This can be particularly true during naturally stressful times such as the holidays. If you need support, there are organizations that can direct you to community resources to meet your needs. Your mental health is too important not to make it a priority. November/December 2017
Weighing the options between private, public, charter, religious-based, Montessori, homeschooling, and other alternative educational programs has been challenging. So how do you go about choosing an educational facility? 10
Roc Parent Magazine
Choosing a school for YOUR toddler ... too soon? By ROSA ALLISON-MEDFORD
My daughter is only a toddler but I’m already stressed trying to figure out what the best educational space is for her. Weighing the options between private, public, charter, religious-based, Montessori, home schooling, and other alternative educational programs has been challenging. I believe that for most parents education is of paramount importance. We want our children to have better options and opportunities than we had growing up. We pray and hope that we make the right choices in order to give our children the opportunity to flourish and live to their potential. You may be in my shoes or your child may already be in school, but perhaps you are not completely happy with their progress or with the school itself and want to look into other options. So how do you go about choosing an educational facility? I can tell you what I’ve been doing and maybe this will help you.
Know your child and identify what kind of space would be best suited for his or her learning style. I acknowledge that my daughter is rambunctious, full of energy, very aware of her surroundings, and extremely inquisitive. I’ve determined the best space for her will be one that allows her some independence and the ability to move about and explore her surroundings.
Figure out what type of school is appropriate based on your philosophies and beliefs. It’s also important to know which systems are having results where children are learning and progressing appropriately. If you find your local public education system is not producing adequate results, don’t feel like you’re stuck. There are other options if you’re willing to take the time to research and explore what else is available for your child. Remember that there are few things more important than your child’s education. This is going to be the foundation for the rest of her life, with a hope and plan for a bright future. Peruse the websites of schools that interest you and be sure to check their mission statement and philosophy. Other areas to look at should be curriculum, extracurricular activities, faculty/staff, and tuition. Keep in mind that public and charter school will have free tuition but private, religious-based, and other private organizations like Montessori will have a cost involved. Also take note if the school provides need-based financial aid, grants, or scholarships. The website should list application deadlines and other requirements for admission.
Find some worthy options and create a spreadsheet to keep your choices organized, populating it with the pertinent information for about eight to 10 schools. Now is the time to call them and set up a visit or attend an open house. Tour the school, observe a class, and have questions ready for the principal or head administration. I would even suggest speaking with parents of kids who recently graduated from the grade your child is going to attend. Take notes on pros and cons for each school to add to your spreadsheet.
After visiting the schools narrow down the top three to five schools. Add to your spreadsheet any deadlines, necessary documents, and any other pertinent information for the application process that you may have learned while on your visit. You are now ready to apply and feel good that you have done your due diligence. If your child is old enough to form an opinion, let him or her be a part of the process of choosing and narrowing down schools. This will give your child confidence and make her feel good about the new school she will be attending.
Rosa Allison-Medford and her husband, Darrel Medford, and daughter, Maya, age 2, love spending family time at Wickham Farms in Penfield. With Rosa’s background in education, she is already searching for the best pre-school and elementary school for her toddler. PHOTO BY DANIEL WITOWSKI
Happy school hunting! RocParent.com
OCTOBER 6 – JANUARY 2
Think this exhibit looks fun? Visit RMSC.org and click 'Programs and Events' to keep up with everything that's going on!
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November 18: Welcome Santa to Eastview November 18-December 24: Visit Santa at Eastview November 25: Milk, Cookies & Story Time With Santa.
Details at eastviewmall.com
MAKE US YOUR FAMILY TRADITION Enjoy festive family fun and George Eastman’s mansion decorated in classic holiday splendor. SWEET CREATIONS GINGERBREAD DISPLAY & AUCTION Nov. 3–Dec. 13 Dozens of cleverly designed gingerbread creations. A project of the Eastman Museum Council.
• Handcrafted Wreath Display & Auction • Festive Tabletop Tree Display & Auction • Holiday & Family Movies
It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
900 East Avenue, Rochester, NY | (585) 327-4800 | eastman.org
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Share the magic and music of theatre with your family this holiday season.
NOV 22 - DEC 24
DEC 7 - DEC 24
Kids From Adults From
Tickets From (585) 232-4382 www.GevaTheatre.org
WRITING A REMARKABLE COLLEGE ESSAY BY SUE HENNINGER
Roc Parent Magazine
Tips for when to start and what to write … and can mom and dad help?
So, why is the college essay so important to the application process? Roc Parent magazine turned to two experienced higher education professionals for some answers. “It’s the student’s opportunity to have a voice in the admissions process,” said Stacy Ledermann, director of Freshmen Admissions at St. John Fisher College in Pittsford. “It’s where they can share things about themselves that make them unique, that allow them to stand out in the admissions pool.” Her colleague across the way in Pittsford shared more: “The college essay tells the admissions committee who you are,” said John Mordaci, director of admissions at Nazareth College. “It should be true to you and an essay that no one else could write.”
When do I start?
“Start early and don’t rush!” advised Ledermann, a firm believer in students beginning their college essays far in advance of completing their individual school (or Common) applications. Teens can start brainstorming and developing ideas for essays as early as their junior year of high school. Once they’ve settled on a topic, students should write a draft, then reread it several times to make sure they’ve included everything they want. Checking to make sure that the essay is grammatically correct, with proper spelling, punctuation, and capitalizations is an absolute must, both directors shared. It’s important that the admissions committee feels like the student has put forth their best effort and used due diligence in their writing. According to Mordaci, stress and anxiety often accompany the college application process. The sooner a student starts working on their applications, the easier their senior year will be. “Don’t go into scramble mode,” he recommended. “The essay is something that can be very telling, or revealing, to the committee, so it’s definitely worth the time for students to come up with a topic that is well-thought-out and well-written.”
What do I say?
The best college essays highlight a student’s ability to practice self-reflection. “I don’t want you to recount all the details of a fabulous trip you’ve taken,” Lederman said, “I want to know what you got out of the experience or how you grew from it.” “Anyone can tell a story about a trip,” she added. “The essay should share your beliefs, core values, and characteristics as an individual …take it to the next level.” Mordaci noted the essays he’s found memorable featured a circumstance or situation that was distinct to the applicant. The more interesting the topic, the better received it will be, like the student who wrote about the time they got to play a round of golf with Arnold Palmer. He concurred that taking the essay a step further in terms of depth and breadth is essential and suggested students ask themselves, “How did I participate? How did I put my stamp on this particular activity?” The most impressive pieces of writing are those where the student is honest and passionate.
5 tips for nailing it 1. The entire application package should come together to give the admissions committee a full picture of how the student prepares and presents herself. 2. Be sure to know and understand each college’s deadlines. Applying to six schools frequently means six different deadlines. 3. Think carefully about whom to ask to write recommendations. What teachers, coaches, employers, and community leaders say about applicants really does matter. 4. Visiting the college before beginning the essay process isn’t imperative but can be helpful in terms of including details about why the school would be a good match for the student. 5. When submitting multiple applications be sure the correct school name is used on each application. Though it seems like a no-brainer, this particular error happens more than you’d think!
“Don’t write what you think the college committee wants to hear; write the truth,” Ledermann emphasized. “Share a piece of yourself, without oversharing.” She ruefully recalled essays where students wrote about talking a police officer out of a speeding ticket or taking money from a neighbor. “What do we
take away from this type of essay?” she wondered. “What impression are you leaving us with?” It’s also crucial the essay content “jive with” the information on the rest of the application. For example if a student writes about the importance of community service but has no volunteer commitments listed on their activity resume, the disconnect is obvious. If an applicant writes about a challenge they overcame in a classroom setting then submitting a recommendation letter from that particular teacher which matches their essay content would be ideal, Mordaci adds. Another way students can rise above the crowd is by emphasizing what they plan to personally bring to the college and the campus, along with talking about what the college can do for them. This shows the admissions committee that they put extra thought and initiative into crafting their essay.
Mom and dad, a little help?
The admissions directors agree that parents can definitely play a helpful role in the college essay process, particularly in terms of brainstorming ideas, proofreading drafts, and reading the final version of the essay in its entirety to determine if it makes sense, flows well, and is engaging before the student hits the “submit” button. Not only that, but also many teens are modest or humble to the point where it’s difficult for them to tout their achievements. Proud parents can remind them of all their K-12 accomplishments, Ledermann said. The college essay and application process can actually be a fantastic time for parents to learn more about their son or daughter, while working together to find the college that will be the best fit for them. However, both professionals stressed that it’s crucial, for both the student and the integrity of the admissions process, that the essay’s content and voice is the teen’s own. Students should be taking full ownership of the application and essay process and have a good sense of what needs to be done and in what order. “The college essay is the time to be positive and champion yourself. Be uplifting and upbeat,” Mordaci says. “Wrap it up with what you learned and how that moved you forward in your life.”
Embrace the season — stay organized and stay sane The major holidays of November and December happen every year, are marked on every calendar and overly promoted months in advance. So, how do they always seem to “sneak up” on us? From decking the halls, to family traditions and joyous gift giving, the holidays can be a wonderful time of the year. And being organized can help keep you sane and embrace the season of festivities instead of stressing over them.
‘Tis the season to decorate!
Reuse seasonal décor that can either serve multiple purposes or require minimal storage space. As Halloween passes, our pumpkins and gourds (both real and décor) remain on display for Thanksgiving. To keep the outside festive until the snow flies, you can plant hardy mums in whites and burgundies. Infuse your space with seasonal greens (if you don’t have allergies) with a live tree and garlands — resulting in fewer decorations to put away — and they smell wonderful. Decorate these greens with items that have wonderful memories and that you treasure. As we head into the New Year, I leave up white trees and greenery, along with the white lights, creating a nice backdrop for the winter’s dark nights.
With holiday meals soon to simmer, make room in the fridge for the leftovers. Clean out old condiments and stock the pantry with staples like flour for gravy, cans of soups for casseroles, stock and broth, and sugar and butter for cookies 16
and other holiday yummies. Find and clean the beloved cookie cutters. Also, inventory your games and gather the warm sofa blankets.
We have a few but one that we share in common with many is making holiday cookies from a loved one’s recipe. But, who has time to make the cookie dough, roll, cut, bake, and then decorate? To simplify things, I make the dough in advance and freeze it. I then defrost it in the morning and then, after school or on a weekend, we enjoy the fun part — cutting out, decorating, and eating them! We make extras for holiday party plates and gifts.
Unless you know the person well and know they have a specific object on their wish list, opt for consumable gifts you
Roc Parent Magazine
make or buy. It’s a nice thought that won’t permanently add to someone’s household inventory. Events (tickets to an upcoming show) and outings (gift certificates to support a day trip) are very thoughtful. Keep it simple for kids (a book or gift certificate) and make your gift requests known early.
One in, one old thing out
For every gift you get, donate something you have already (preferably a similar object to the one you received). It’s a simple way to stay on top of the new stuff that might be coming into your home this year and makes any future decluttering sessions just a little bit easier. Starting early and staying focused will help your holidays and give yourself (and your family) a more joyful and meaningful experience.
Clicking the ‘Like’ button when moms support moms on social media Facebook can be our friend when our friends cheer us on please cue the “Applause” track).
By DRESDEN ENGLE
“You’re a wonderful mother.” That was the simple note written on my Facebook page from a friend and former co-worker. She was referencing a photo of my 7-year-old daughter at Seabreeze amusement park, at an event I had rushed her to after work one day. I had “Facebooked” (now a verb) the photo of my daughter in real time. It was an easy task, even three years ago, with a smartphone, posting it in seconds with a quick caption noting where we were and what we were doing. It was as if that friend (thanks, Sarah!) who called me “wonderful” could see me standing there, the only mom in the crowd of hundreds clutching a shiny black purse and wearing a fancy black, summer dress sweeping the ground. Other moms were in shorts and post-waterpark bathing suit covers. Yep, I stuck out like a 9-to-5 overdressed thumb, having just wrapped a day full of meetings. But I was there, by daughter request, hitting the park located north of the city, in between summer camp and making dinner, and then meeting friends in a play that night, for which I was now sure to be late. Alas, my Facebook-posting friend did not have a crystal ball nor was she seeing me via Facetime. She just knew, being a working mom herself.
Moms sticking together
Funny how those four words made me feel good. My daughter’s smile was affirmation enough that this silly jaunt was worth it (and playing Skee Ball afterward with her in the boardwalk-style arcade was icing on the cotton candy). And then I got to thinking … about how much support we women give each other via social media. One thought I had was of my 30-something friend who recently ended a 13-year relationship and was devastated by how her fiancé made the break so abruptly. But she is cheered up daily by little pink hearts dotting her Facebook page and friends posting how beautiful and fabulous she is. Another friend who has a child with a disability writes on Facebook of her
“Hearting” your shout-outs to friends
Now this gal-pal lovefest does take some effort. When you are social platforms and you like a post or a photo, let that friend or colleague know it, by clicking a heart or a “Like” or writing a quick comment. Although my day job has me on social media, I still spend about 30 minutes a day on the social side of social media. I scroll Twitter mainly for news, along the way stopping to retweet and “heart” a tweet or two that move me) and on LinkedIn I endorse business colleagues for various areas of expertise and congratulate them on work milestones. And business aside, Facebook and Instagram can be social fun, seeing pix of sorority sisters’ adorable children and hearing about the latest happenings in others’ lives.
Virtual social calls
Enjoying mom and daughter time at Seabreeze ... and then posting about it. PROVIDED PHOTO
daughter’s triumphs (such as a first-ever sleepover being a success) and we are cheering right along with her. And we tell her so … in a few simple words that I now have realized ultimately mean so much. We work so hard that by the time we’re relaxing at day’s end with some Facebook time, we’ve done so much we deserve a standing ovation (actually, we all deserved it upon walking in the door at work that morning, having cleaned, dressed, fed, and transported kids, who amazingly are all alive and well at daycare or school …
So while it is an effort to engage with friends online, try not to think of this social connecting as “work.” Heck, in Jane Austen’s day (200 years ago) you had to put in a huge effort to make a social call … enduring several muddy carriage rides and luggage filled with corseted gowns. All we have to do today is click on some words and icons and perhaps type a few words — perhaps pajama clad and surely sans corset — to let our friends know we are thinking about them. And if you want to take an extra 30 seconds, make their day by sharing a Gif you picked out just for them. It’s so easy, and so appreciated. One of my goals for today: to tell at least one mom that she’s “wonderful” and for all of her online friends and followers to see (and agree) and pile on the love and support. Girlfriends, I’ve got your back … you’re pretty wonderful!
When schools are closed for holidays + vacations, come fill the days at the JCC!
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“I Love My Little Story Book” A Mermaid Theatre of Nova Scotia production
Friday, Nov. 17 at 12:30pm Saturday, Nov. 18 at 11am & 2pm Sunday, Nov. 19 at 2 & 4:30pm
• November 10, Veteran’s Day • December 26-29, Winter Vacation For more information, contact the Gesher Office at email@example.com.
Louis S. Wolk JCC of Greater Rochester 1200 Edgewood Avenue in Brighton
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Medication Drop Box Locations: Bristol: Town Hall
Farmington: State Troopers
Canandaigua: FLCC (Keuka Wing) The Medicine Shoppe Ontario County DMV Office Thompson Hospital (lobby) Mental Health Clinic
Clifton Springs: Hospital (Lobby) Geneva: North St. Pharmacy Police Station
Phelps: Community Center
Richmond: Town Hall
Rushville: Village Hall
Shortsville/Manchester: Red Jacket Pharmacy
Victor: Mead Square Pharmacy Questions, please call us at 585-396-4554.
FREE Pre-K for 3- and 4-year-olds • Six-hour daily program for city children who turn 3 or 4 by Dec. 1st • Healthy breakfast and lunch • Language, social and self-help skills to be ready for school • Educational field trips • Indoor/outdoor play and naptime • Available at schools and community agencies in the city • Free monthly RTS bus passes for parents
The King a n n a e D By
It goes by so fast — remember that these are the moments It is the one thing every parent is told time and time again: “It goes by fast.” When you are sleep deprived or cleaning up vomit at 3 a.m. those words are like nails on a chalkboard. I often rolled my eyes, shrugging off advice to take pause and reflect on each moment with my children. I didn’t have time to slow down. I barely had time to shower. I wore the same flannel shirt so much I could have easily joined the band Nirvana. Parenthood is the most difficult job you will ever have. So, you’re always looking ahead. You look forward to the moment your baby can sit up on his own. You know it will get easier when he can crawl and walk and so on and so forth. Then, in the blink of an eye your baby is one year away from graduating from high school. Motherhood was supposed to get easier. It doesn’t. During their elementary school years you are in control. If your child is having trouble with another student you meet with the teacher to rectify the situation. You decide who is in their social circle via scheduled play dates. Life gets more complicated when they get older. It’s not cool for mom to get involved when you don’t have anyone to sit with at lunch. You can’t make someone like your child. You can’t force kids to invite him to a party. You can only offer a shoulder to cry on when his heart is broken for the first time. You also can buy a voodoo doll online. At least, that’s what I’ve heard. The hardest part of being a parent isn’t wrestling with a toddler having a tantrum in the supermarket while people stare. It’s 20
I didn’t have time to slow down. I barely had time to shower. I wore the same flannel shirt so much I could have easily joined the band Nirvana. not spending hours helping them with Common Core math when you want to scream, “For the love of God, just carry the one!” Nor is it being a chauffeur or keeping track of practice schedules for a sport they have no business playing. It’s none of these things. It’s having to let go. It’s having to trust that you have raised a good person who
Roc Parent Magazine
will make good choices. My heart was heavy the first day of kindergarten. I remember that moment my son walked into the building and out of my line of sight. This year, on the first day of his senior year of high school, he drove himself. As his car turned the corner, I felt that same pang in my chest. Only this time I thought, “It went by so fast.”
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Communicating with teens Dear Dr. Amy: My daughter is 14. I don’t understand half of what she says, and I only hear her voice when she talks to her friends! I feel totally invisible. Any advice? Dear Mrs. Thirsty: It’s hard enough that we don’t always speak the same language as our teens, but sometimes they are barely speaking to us at all! If you’re lucky, they text you. When your teen tells you, “the fam squad” is being “cringy” – the “fam” is not you, the family, it’s their group of close friends, the inner circle. “Cringy” is what it sounds like. It’s when you drop your teen off at school and say, “Love you” as they get out of the car. Sooo cringy. They might tell you their friend was being “salty.” This describes someone who is angry or bitter. If you’re lucky, your teen will tell you you’re “woke” – knowledgeable, aware, or with-it. But don’t hold your breath. If you ask how they’re doing and they tell you they are “shook” or “quaked”, it means they are shaken up or VERY shaken up. Also, don’t use any of these words with your teen. Even if they do. Trust me. Something teenagers and two-year-olds have a lot in common? Both are doing exciting things and pushing the boundaries (and buttons) and throwing tantrums. It’s no surprise that they face similar developmental tasks — pulling away from parents and asserting their independence. While this is good and normal it can be frustrating when they think (well, they know) they are always right and the center of the universe. The difference between the “terrible twos” and the “terrible teens” is that they are beginning to make decisions that can have life-long consequences — school, friends, driving, and (gulp) … sex.
This makes for complicated parenting. They aren’t good at regulating their emotions and behavior, which puts them at risk for making impulsive decisions. Having a healthy and trusting parent-child relationship is more important than ever. While they often communicate openly with their friends, they may be a closed book at home. Here are some tips for navigating the unfamiliar terrain of Planet Teen:
Friends. Know who their friends and who their friends’ parents are. Then remember that you are not in the friend group. Be friendly, welcoming in fact, but don’t change your rules to accommodate the wishes of your teen or his/her peer group. Listen. Asking lots of questions is often a sure way to hit the mute button on your teen. Kids are more likely to be open if they don’t feel pressure to “share.” And please never use the word “share.” It’s not worth the eye-rolling you’ll have to endure. Validate their feelings. We tend to try to downplay a situation or, worse, try to fix it. Negating someone’s feelings can feel dismissive, and trying to fix everything for them will cause them to miss opportunities for learning and growth. Let them earn your trust. Teens are looking to be taken seriously and treated like the all-knowing, more-maturethan-most teens they perceive themselves to be. Look for ways you can show trust. Expand their boundaries s-l-o-w-l-y as they demonstrate they can handle it. Authoritative not Authoritarian. Authoritative parents set rules and are prepared to explain why they are in place. They also enforce these rules and the consequences of violating what is considered an agreement. We’ve probably all found
ourselves saying (or wanting to say) “because I said so.” Try not to. Teens don’t have to agree with you. What they do need to do is be able to predict the consequences of their actions with accuracy because you have made it clear. Control your emotions. We all have our moments, but it’s important not to respond in kind when your teen goes off the rails. Remember you are modeling how to act in situations that are difficult. Spend time together, maybe even without electronic devices. If we are constantly checking our email or Facebook status, we are showing our teens that it is more important than spending time with them. Spending time casually, like sharing meals, is a way to show teens they can be comfortable with you and that it’s not going to be the Spanish Inquisition every time you are in the same room together. Watch and learn. Mood swings and “tantrums” are normal, but pay attention if you notice a change in things like core behavior, appetite, energy level, or interests. If you notice something out of the ordinary, ask but be supportive. Your teen may need your help and/or the help of a professional. Don’t be afraid to talk to your child’s doctor, nurse practitioner, or physician assistant (sometimes a child feels more comfortable with one member of their healthcare team than another). Many pediatric providers are skilled at engaging kids without being intrusive or pushy.
I asked my own 14-year old, Will, what slanguage they use now. According to him, adults can’t use these phrases because adults are not capable of understanding context. I just smile and tell him I’ll be back in a minute to finish our conversation …
We all have our moments, but it is important not to respond in kind when your teen goes off the rails. Remember that you are modeling how to act in situations that are difficult. 22
Roc Parent Magazine
Piano & Voice Lessons Experienced, nurturing teacher accepting students of all ages, and experience levels.
Octoberfest Family Movie Night Saturday, October 28th at 5:30pm
FREE showing of Hocus Pocus! Refreshments available: popcorn, doughnuts, cider, pumpkins, and more!
“Let me help you discover the music inside of you!”
Visit With Santa! Cocoa & Caroling
Saturday, December 16th at 10:00am
Buy Your Tickets Online:
Find out more at rocparent.com or email firstname.lastname@example.org
http://www.cobblestoneartscenter.com/FallPerformanceSeries 1622 State Route 332, Farmington, NY 14425 | Phone: 585-398-0220
C hris tm as w ith San ta AT S P R I N G D A L E F A R M
Make it a family tradition. Saturdays: November 25, December 2 & 9 Breakfast Seatings: 9, 10, 11 a.m. & Noon Enjoy a visit with Santa & Mrs. Claus, a breakfast of pancakes & sausage, childrens holiday crafts, the petting zoo, & more! $9 per ticket, available at all local Wegmans (children under age 2 are free and must sit on parents laps.)
700 Colby Street • Spencerport • New York • 14559 • (585) 349-2090
SpringdaleFarm.org/Santa Springdale Farm is a part of Northampton Park and operated by Heritage Christian Services. It’s just a 15 minute drive from Rochester.
Volunteer as a family — find causes close to your heart
By DAWN KELLOG
‘Tis the season … the time of year when we most consider sharing our good fortune. And while help and support are needed yearround at and for area non-profits, it is during the holidays, the need to support our community and those less fortunate is reinforced in both the media and our social circles. Beyond donating money, hands-on volunteering is often needed. Perhaps involving the entire family would instill in our children the ideals of gratefulness, giving back, and community responsibility. According to Parents Magazine, “it has been proven that children who volunteer are likely to do so as adults.” There are many ways your family can volunteer in the Rochester community this holiday season (and all year round). Advice for choosing a charity: select a cause near and dear to your heart — something that will interest and inspire your entire family. The rewards most likely will far outweigh any time and effort you put into the project. Why not make a New Year’s resolution and volunteer as a family all year long?
The Greater Rochester area is historically a very philanthropic community. A very dear friend of mine (and editor of this publication) will say that much of this can be attributed to George Eastman who gave away more than $100 million dollars in his lifetime (much of it anonymously, and about $2 billion in today’s dollars) and founded many support agencies here in Rochester, as well as all over the world. One organization founded by Mr. Eastman is the United Way, which has been serving our community for 100 years. The United Way organizes our community’s single largest volunteer effort — the Day of Caring (held each May), which helps nearly 200 local not-for-profit organizations and the people they serve. Last year, more than 6,500 people volunteered. You can sign up to volunteer for this event, beginning in March, at uwrochester.org.
The whole family can get hands-on helping charities in and around Rochester.
Roc Parent Magazine
Rochester Area Interfaith Hospitality Network (RAIHN) is a not-for-profit, interfaith, culturally-competent organization that assists homeless families to achieve sustainable independence by supporting them with tailored services including shelter, food, personalized case management, and a diverse network of 1,600 active and caring volunteers. RAIHN partners with 45 local congregations offering support to their families in the evenings and on weekends every day of the year by providing meals, shelter, respect, and compassion to families in a housing crisis. Volunteer orientations are offered frequently and dates can be found on their website. “RAIHN is a unique program that allows even the youngest family member to participate,” said Jen Canning, coordinator of volunteer services. “Children can help set the dinner table or prepare and share the evening meal with our guests. Older youth may find themselves playing a game or coloring after dinner with children in RAIHN while the parents chat. With only four staff members, RAIHN volunteers are essential to making our program run.” For its annual spring event, Car City, RAIHN staff invites families, youth, and individuals to sleep in their cars overnight, raising funds for RAIHN and awareness of family homelessness in the community. This activity is appropriate for youth ages 12 and up accompanied by parents or a youth leader. The next Car City will take place Saturday, April 28, 2018 at Asbury First United Methodist Church. For more information, contact raihn.org Every year, more than 15,000 volunteers donate their time and talents to help Foodlink provide support for thousands of low-income area residents. Volunteers ages 8 and up are essential at all levels of food bank operations, from sorting and repackaging food to helping at fundraising events. Sign up for volunteer shifts at foodlinkny.org Flower City Habitat for Humanity has a wide variety of volunteer opportunities. Not handy with a hammer? Habitat for Humanity does more than build houses. They also support families with housewarming gifts, school supply drives, neighborhood projects and more. Find out more about how your family can volunteer at rochesterhabitat.org The Ronald McDonald House relies on volunteers to do everything from keeping
their gardens beautiful, to cleaning and preparing rooms and keeping their programs running 365 days a year. Just a few hours of your time weekly, biweekly, or monthly makes a world of difference to families of children who are receiving healthcare in our community. Volunteers must be 16 years or older, so this is a volunteer opportunity for families with older children. To find out more, visit rmhcrochester.org Do you and your family love the great outdoors? The mission of The Genesee Valley Land Trust is to keep our preserves pristine and functional. Volunteer opportunities are available particularly in the summer and include performing trail work, special event support, administrative and committee assistance. More information can be found at geneseelandtrust.org At Lollypop Farm volunteers are part of a team committed to providing loving care to pets in need. They have volunteer opportunities for teens and adults who love animals. Discover volunteer opportunities at lollypop.org
Sorting food donations is just one of a number of volunteer opportunities for families at Foodlink. PHOTO BY SARA J. HICKMAN-HIMES
Here are some ways to spread holiday cheer: • Adopt a family in need through your church or school. The organization will supply you with a wish list for the family including food items, clothing, and toys. • Contact your local hospital and as a family, make cards and collect toys for children who are not able to be at home with their families due to illness. • Contact your local Senior or Assisted Living Community, get a group of friends together and go Christmas Caroling old-school style! • Remember volunteering doesn’t begin and end during the holiday season. The need is constant and the rewards to everyone are manifold.
Family-friendly theater productions in November and December
Guess How Much I Love You Presented by TYKEs at JCC CenterStage Theatre Nov. 18-19 Little Nutbrown Hare loves Big Nutbrown Hare as far as he can reach and as high as he can hop. But Big Nutbrown Hare loves him as far as his long arms can reach and as high as his strong legs can hop. From illustrator Anita Jeram comes this endearing celebration of the joy of reading, narrated by Beau Bridges. A Mermaid Theatre of Nova Scotia production. Tickets: $16, $15 JCC Members Where: 1200 Edgewood Ave., Rochester More info: jccrochester.org Annie, The Musical RAPA at Kodak Center for Performing Arts Nov. 18-26 Little orphan Annie charms everyone’s hearts. In search of her parents, she escapes to the wondrous world of NYC and finds a new home and family in billionaire Oliver Warbucks and a lovable mutt named Sandy. Annie has become a worldwide phenomenon and was winner of seven Tony Awards when it debuted on Broadway 40 years ago, including Best Musical. Tickets: $19.50-$49.50 Where: 200 West Ridge Road, Rochester More info: rapatheatre.org/main-stageseason
Better is Possible. A Better Experience. Open House Personal Tour
Sunday, November 5 @ 2:30 pm Nursery (age 3) to Grade 12 Call (585) 442-1770
Little Women, The Musical Blackfriars Theatre December 15-31 The beloved adventures of the four March sisters is brought to life in this vivid and stirring musical. Based on Louisa May Alcott’s book, this timeless story is filled with laughter and hope. Tickets: $20-$39.50/New Year’s Eve show $50 Where: 795 East Main St., Rochester More info: blackfriars.org
Advertise in Find out more at rocparent.com or email email@example.com
s of Mendon S w o tab ead l M
You’re not alone! Raising a child is the toughest job you’ll ever have. Our Family Support Services will help you build strategies to empower and support your family. We’re parents who’ve been there. There is hope. You’re not alone. Visit mharochester.org/family for more info. The Mental Health Association fosters an environment to build skills and provide support to individuals facing a mental health challenge, empowering them to make informed decisions on their self directed path to wellness.
ROC Parent Ad Nov 2017.indd 2
320 N. Goodman St. Rochester, NY 14607 585.325.3145 mharochester.org
November 10, Friday, Veterans Day Days 0ff riding program Time: 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. $65.00 per rider Beginner to intermediate 21 horses to choose from. Bring a lunch and water bottles.
Meadows of Mendon Stables would like to thank all of our volunteers, horse caregivers, and riders for another wonderful year of horseback riding! Gift certificates for programs, family packages and lessons are available for Christmas Gifts! Happy trails!! The Equine Staff Register at firstname.lastname@example.org Pay via Pay-Pal • Contact Ms. Amy at 585-582-1437 www.meadowsofmendonstables.com
9/21/2017 2:53:06 PM
What is the mission of Holy Childhood and Special Touch Bakery?
Holy Childhood is a non-denominational, non-profit agency that has enriched the lives of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities for more than 70 years. Our mission is to prepare children and adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities for maximum independence and integration in the community through individualized programs and services. We are dedicated to serving our people in an atmosphere of dignity and compassion. Special Touch Bakery is a non-profit organization with the primary mission of providing training and employment to people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Proceeds from Special Touch Bakery benefit Holy Childhood.
How and when did Holy Childhood and Special Touch Bakery get started?
Holy Childhood was formed in 1946 by the Sisters of St. Joseph, when they saw a need in the Rochester community. Children with intellectual and developmental disabilities were falling through the cracks, as public schools did not have to accept them. The Sisters formed Holy Childhood to provide a full education and vocational training programs, as well as other services to assist them in becoming as independent as they could possibly be. Teaching them the skills and giving them the tools to become productive and proud members in their community. Celebrating people’s abilities was, and always will be priority one at Holy Childhood. Special Touch Bakery began in the 700-square-foot school kitchen at Holy Childhood as a vocational training exercise for school program students. It didn’t take long for staff, parents, and friends to fall in love with the delicious pies and the mission behind them. By 2002, a bakery staff of 18 adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities was producing 17,000 delicious, iconic pies a year for families and staff, our loyal retail customers, area restaurants, farm markets, and community groups. More importantly, Special Touch Bakery bakers are earning a paycheck and have an immense amount of pride doing what it is they love to do — bake!
What is the future vision for Special Touch Bakery?
The vision at the new Special Touch Bakery is workforce development and job
Roc Parent Magazine
Bakers Alisa and Anthony of Special Touch Bakery are among 35 Holy Childhood School Program students enrolled in work experiences in the community at 20 different work sites. PHOTOS COURTESY HOLY CHILDHOOD/ SPECIAL TOUCH BAKERY
training, with a focus on the new operation being production oriented, rather than just solely vocational in nature. This brand new 20,000-square-foot bakery facility, located at 1999 Mt. Read Blvd. next to Foodlink is an innovative twist on an existing idea and successful program. From its humble origins as a single vocational training activity nearly three decades ago, to a new facility is truly transformational. The blended workforce offers competitive employment for workers with and without disabilities, working side by side. At Special Touch Bakery, a baker is a baker.
Does Special Touch Bakery have partnerships in the community?
Yes, Foodlink, Palmer Food Services, and Wegmans. Workforce development is the primary goal of Special Touch Bakery and we are uniquely positioned to provide onsite advice, a variety of training modules focused on all facets of bakery operations. This collaboration will add an important food production aspect to the menu of culinary and food production career options presented to Foodlink trainees. At the same time, Foodlink’s expertise will assist Special Touch Bakery in instituting value-added processing and ingredient sourcing. Plus, through workforce development initiatives, both Foodlink and Special Touch Bakery will play a significant role in preparing some of our community’s most vulnerable populations for employment and self-sufficiency as both organizations work toward the goal of reducing poverty
“At Special Touch Bakery, a baker is a baker … Special Touch Bakery bakers are earning a paycheck and have an immense amount of pride doing what it is they love to do — bake!“ —DONNA DEDEE, CEO OF HOLY CHILDHOOD
for this difficult-to-place population. In addition, Palmer Food Services is a key partner in the expansion of Special Touch Bakery. Palmer is the bakery’s distribution partner. Their knowledge, advice and collaboration on product development, sales, distribution, and marketing have been invaluable to the Special Touch Bakery expansion. Kip Palmer visited Holy Childhood some years ago and observed our bakery in operation, in the original, small school kitchen. He saw first-hand the love and pride our bakers have for what they are doing and the mission behind this amazing bakery. He simply said, “I can help you.” The Wegmans Leadership Team has been working with both Holy Childhood and Special Touch Bakery’s management team since before talks of the bakery’s expansion began. Their knowledge and expertise on product and process (sourcing equipment and operational guidance) has been instrumental and essential to Special Touch Bakery’s growth and the move to the new location on Mt. Read Blvd.
Where can parents and others learn more and get involved?
We have social media platforms where parents and supporters can get more information and stay in touch with all that is happening at Holy Childhood and Special Touch Bakery. We host a variety of fundraising events throughout the year and always welcome volunteers to get involved. If interested in volunteering, please call Holy Childhood’s development office at (585) 359-3710. You may also visit holy childhood.org or specialtouchbakery.org to learn more about volunteering, to schedule a tour, or to inquire about our employment opportunities. To order one of the 18 varieties of pies offered by Special Touch Bakery, please visit holychildhood.org/ programs-bakery or call (585) 359-3710. Roc Parent thanks Laurie Otto, Holy Childhood’s public relations manager, for talking with us about Holy Childhood and Special Touch Bakery.
AGES 15 to 18 Fangirl
By Rainbow Rowell
Write on! November is National Novel Writing Month By DEENA VIVIANI
Ever wanted to try your hand at writing a poem, essay, story, or novel? Well, no time like the present, because November is National Novel Writing Month. You can learn more at nanowrimo.org and via the books we’ve reviewed in this issue’s “Book Nook” column. AGES 5 to 8 Me First: Prefixes Lead the Way
Written by Robin Pulver Illustrated by Lynne Rowe Reed Mr. Wright is teaching his students about leadership, but the anthropomorphic prefixes thought today’s lesson was going to be about them. After all, the PREfixes are EXTRAordinary SUPERstars of the English language—in their own opinions. Fortunately, Mr. Wright gets back on track, making connections between Abraham Lincoln’s leadership qualities and those of the prefixes. The text helps show the reader where the prefixes are by capitalizing the letters throughout the book, and a mini lesson on Abraham Lincoln and how to be a good leader is woven into the story. This picture book is educational and fun from beginning to end. (Holiday House, 2016, hardcover, $16.95) 30
Roc Parent Magazine
Cath is not excited about moving an hour away from her home in Omaha to attend college. She worries about leaving her father (who can be manic), moving into the dorms with a stranger (since her twin sister didn’t want to room with her), and having to grow up (and give up her obsession with Simon Snow, the lovable character in the Harry Potter-like series who she writes popular fan fiction about). That is until her hip roommate and a quirky guy show her that there is more to the world when she looks past her computer screen. Cath feels completely real, from her fears of being a college freshman to her conflicting emotions as she falls in love for the first time. Sections from her fan fiction and the Simon Snow novels are interspersed, giving the reader two stories in one (for those who fall in love with Simon Snow, Rainbow Rowell also released an entire novel about him, Carry On). This upper young adult novel hits many feelings and frustrations that go along with moving on from high school to college. A fabulous read that may get you writing. (St. Martin’s Press, 2013, hardcover, $18.99)
AGES 9 to 12 Booked
By Kwame Alexander Twelve-year-old Nick is great at soccer, upset by his parents’ announcement, and bad at paying attention in English class. Good thing he has a supportive best friend, a maybe girlfriend, and a cool librarian to help him deal. This fast-paced novel-in-verse is recommended to fans of soccer, poetry, and the author’s award-winning novel, The Crossover. The mix of firstand second-person points-of-view and sections of blackout poetry — where existing text has sections blacked out so the remaining words form a new meaning — tell the story of a smart guy dealing with a bad hand. Fans of other novels-in-verse will appreciate the shout-outs to those titles. Here’s to meta storytelling at its best! (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016, hardcover, $16.99)
PICTURE BOOKS AGES 3 to 7 This Is My Book By Mark Pett (Knopf, 2016, hardcover, $17.99)
AGES 4 to 8 Help! We Need a Title!
By Herve Tullet (Candlewick, 2014, hardcover, $16.99)
AGES 4 to 8 I Am a Story
By Dan Yaccarino (Harper, 2016, hardcover, $17.99)
AGES 5 to 8 Ideas Are All Around
By Philip C. Stead (Roaring Brook Press, 2016, hardcover, $18.99)
MIDDLE GRADE AGES 8 to 12 House Arrest
By K.A. Holt (Chronicle, 2016, paperback, $7.99)
AGES 8 to 12 OCDaniel
By Wesley King (Simon & Schuster, 2017, paperback, $7.99)
AGES 8 to 12 Our Story Begins
Edited by Elissa Brent Weissman (Atheneum, 2017, hardcover, $17.99)
AGES 8 to 12 Writing Magic
By Gail Carson Levine (HarperCollins, 2014, paperback, $6.99)
YOUNG ADULT AGES 10 to 14 How to Be a Blogger and Vlogger in 10 Easy Lessons By Shane Birley (Walter Foster Jr., 2016, Spiral-bound, $12.93)
AGES 12 to 15 The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever By Jeff Strand (Sourcebooks, 2016, paperback, $9.99)
AGES 12 to 15 Writing Fantastic Fiction
By Jennifer Joline Anderson (Lerner, 2016, paperback, $10.99)
Storytime Club! Mondays, November 6, 13, 20 & 27 Giving Thanks Delight in heartwarming tales about being thankful and showing gratitude.
Mondays, December 4, 11 & 18 Friends and Family Celebrate the holiday season with stories about friendship and family. Readings at 10:30 and 11:30 a.m. Collect a punch on your Storytime Club passport. Earn five punches to receive a free children’s book! Sponsored by
AGES 15 to 18 Afterworlds
By Scott Westerfeld (Simon Pulse, 2015, paperback, $12.99)
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RocParent 3.5 X 6.4 Pub dates: Nov/Dec 2017 PDF due: 09/29/17
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Join Roc Parent at Children’s Book Fair on Saturday, Nov. 4
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Join Roc Parent magazine at the 21st annual Rochester Children’s Book Festival on Saturday, Nov. 4 at Monroe Community College from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Free admission, free parking, and free crafts! The day’s activities are sure to motivate your children to put away their devices and float into a world of imagination and creativity. Dozens of children’s and young-adult authors will be on site for readings and book signings and the Roc Parent team will be on the first floor near the hands-on crafts area. Presented by the Rochester Area Children’s Writers & Illustrators. The MCC location is the Flynn Campus Center, located at 100 East Henrietta Road in West Brighton.
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Get ready, get set for these holiday races and fun runs The holidays offer opportunities for turkeys to trot and reindeers to run. Here’s a sampling: YMCA Turkey Classic Southeast Family YMCA 8 a.m. Sunday, Nov. 19 The Southeast YMCA’s 34th Annual Turkey Classic is a 5-mile certified race and 1-mile family run/ walk to benefit the Annual Campaign. Register at runsignup.com. Race begins at Southeast Y at 111 E. Jefferson Road, Pittsford. More info: rochesterymca.org/southeast. Webster Turkey Trot Parkview Lodge, Webster Park 10 a.m. Thursday, Nov. 23 This 46-year-old tradition in Webster is a 4.4-mile race and a 2.5-mile Fun Run. Meet at Parkview Lodge in Webster Park off Holt Road, Webster. More info: yellowjacketracing.com. Reindeer Run 5K and Kids Run Wild Blue Cross Arena 8:30 a.m. Saturday, Dec. 16 A family-centric Winter Race featuring a 5K plus a quarter-mile, half-mile, and full-mile Kids Run Wild (reindeer antlers to first 300 kids and the first 1,200 5K registrants. Begins at 100 Exchange Blvd., Rochester. More info: yellowjacketracing.com
Our students say it all. Appreciation of learning is what it’s all about for students at Rochester School for the Deaf.
Since 1876, our students have been discovering the art of communication and education in a nurturing, inclusive environment—at no cost to families. As a private school, our dynamic educational programs employ skilled professionals who educate students in a vibrant multicultural and bilingual scholastic setting which includes American Sign Language and English. H Building futures for deaf and hard of hearing students H Focusing on infant, early childhood, K-12 grades, up to age 21 H Sign language learning programs and community outreach services Get in touch today and give your student an appreciation for learning.
Gavin, 1st Grade signing “Thank You” Rochester School for the Deaf Celebrating our 140th Year!
1545 St. Paul Street | Rochester, NY 14621 585-544-1240 • www.RSDeaf.org • email info@RSDeaf.org
CALENDAR A selection of things to see and do in November and December
HOLIDAY FAMILY FUN
The Polar Express Medina Railroad
Sweet Creations Gingerbread House Display George Eastman Museum
Saturdays and Sundays, Nov. 25-Dec. 17
Nov. 3-Dec. 13 Eastman Museum’s Sweet Creations display has featured hundreds of memorable gingerbread designs, including famous landmarks, trains, cars, and even cameras. A beloved holiday tradition, this annual display provides a visual and aromatic treat for visitors of all ages. The deliciously designed gingerbread creations are available for purchase via silent auction; proceeds help support future restoration projects of George Eastman’s estate. Sweet Creations is a project of the Eastman Museum Council and is made possible by M&T Bank, Tops Friendly Markets, and Tasteful Connections. New this year: a small selection of confection creations will be on display through New Year’s Eve. Tickets: Included with museum admission/members free Where: 900 East Ave., Rochester More info: eastman.org
Friday, Nov. 10 Delight in storytelling, dance, and theater from family holiday favorites The Nutcracker and A Christmas Carol. Enjoy an excerpt from The Nutcracker performed by costumed dancers from Rochester City Ballet at 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. To follow will be a reading of selections from A Christmas Carol from costumed cast members from the Geva Theatre Center’s production at noon and 2 p.m.
Tickets: $35 Coach/$50 First Class, children under 2 free on a lap Where: 530 West Ave., Medina More info: medinarailroad.com Deliciously decorated houses are on view at George Eastman Museum Nov. 3-Dec. 13, with some remaining on view through New Year’s Eve. PROVIDED PHOTO
admission/members free Where: 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester More info: museumofplay.org Holiday Family Fun, Music & Light Show The Garden Factory
Get Ready for The Nutcracker and A Christmas Carol Strong National Museum of Play
When: 11 a.m., Noon, 1 p.m., 2 p.m. Tickets: Included with museum
Take a one-hour excursion to the North Pole! On your journey enjoy hot cocoa and a cookie, music from the movie, a storybook reading, and a special gift for the kids — a magic silver bell — from Santa himself. (First class tickets include souvenir mug valued at $10, along with table seating and whipped cream for your hot chocolate). Museum admission is included with the purchase of a train ticket.
Wintercraft Open House & Holiday Sale Flower City Arts Center Saturday, Dec. 2 Get in the holiday spirit by making crafts and shopping for holiday gifts. Plus, see free demos or participate (for a donation) in letterpress, ceramic, and book arts activities.
Saturdays & Sundays, Nov. 25-Dec. 17
When: 10am-5pm Where: 713 Monroe Ave., Rochester More info: rochesterarts.org
Enjoy indoor holiday fun as the Garden Factory turns its greenhouse into a wonderful winter carnival. Activities include a ferris wheel, kid-sized train, ornament crafts, a visit with Santa, and more. While you’re there, enjoy the Holiday Music & Light show. Over 100,000 LED lights, enough to cover over five-hundred individual trees, and all set to your favorite holiday music. When: 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Tickets: Activities are 50 cents/ Music & Light Show is $2 (children 3 and under free) Where: 2126 Buffalo Road, Rochester More info: gardenfactoryny.com/ seasonal-events
Holly Trolley Rides New York Museum of Transportation Sundays Dec. 3-17 Santa’s leaving the reindeer at home and will be arriving by trolley at the New York Museum of Transportation this year. Visit with Santa, enjoy holiday decorations and free hot chocolate, and take a two-mile round trip ride on the museum trolley railroad. Rides operate every half-hour, starting at 11:30 a.m., and are included with admission to the museum. No reservations are required. When: 11 a.m.-4 p.m., every half hour Tickets: $8 adult: $7 seniors (65+);
Roc Parent Magazine
CURATED CALENDAR and $6 children ages 3-12, children under 3 free Where: 6393 East River Road, West Henrietta More info: nymtmuseum.org It’s a Wonderful Life Dryden Theatre at the George Eastman Museum Wednesday, Dec. 6 (with special guests) & Sunday, Dec. 10 In one of the most inspirational films of all time, James Stewart and Donna Reed find their way through rough times in Bedford Falls (modeled after nearby Seneca Falls, New York) by way of a loving, dedicated relationship and a little heavenly intervention. As Stewart’s and Capra’s first work after their military service, the film takes the postwar malaise often seen in film noir and turns it on its head, constructing a narrative of faith and perseverance. Special guests: Karolyn Grimes and Jimmy Hawkins, who portrayed Zuzu and Tommy Bailey in the film, will be at the Wednesday screening. Grimes and Hawkins will participate in a meetand-greet and a Q&A before the film (6 p.m.), sharing stories and childhood memories from the set. The event is in partnership with the It’s a Wonderful Life Museum in Seneca Falls, N.Y. When: Dec. 6 at 7 p.m., Dec. 10 at 2 p.m. Tickets: Dec. 6: $15 general/ $12 college students and children under 17. Dec. 10: $8 general/$4 college students (with ID); Free for children ages 17 and under Where: 900 East Ave., Rochester More info: eastman.org/dryden-theatre Holiday Homecoming George Eastman Museum Thursday, Dec. 7 Savor the seasonal spirit at the George Eastman Museum’s annual Holiday Homecoming celebration. The event includes gingerbread creations, holiday decorations, live music, refreshments, and holiday family activities, plus a visit from Santa, who will pose for photos in the decorated Living Room (bring your camera). When: 5 p.m.-8 p.m. Tickets: Included with museum admission/members free
The Dryden will screen holiday favorite It’s a Wonderful Life twice in December. The Dec. 6 screening will feature special guests — George Bailey’s kids, Zuzu and Tommy, aka former child actors Karolyn Grimes and Jimmy Hawkins. PROVIDED PHOTO
Where: 900 East Ave., Rochester More info: eastman.org
Holiday Bingo Ogden Farmers’ Library
The Nutcracker Presented by Rochester City Ballet and Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra Kodak Hall at Eastman Theatre
Thursday, Dec. 7 Holiday-themed games for families, with prizes.
Nov. 22 to 26
When: 6:30 p.m.-7:30 pm Tickets: Free/registration required Where: 269 Ogden Center Road, Spencerport More info: ogdenlibrary.com Graham Cracker Gingerbread Houses Ogden Farmers’ Library Saturday, Dec. 9 Families are invited to create a holiday gingerbread house. All ages. When: 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Tickets: Free, Registration required Where: 269 Ogden Center Rd., Spencerport More info: ogdenlibrary.com
The Nutcracker’s timeless tale of wonder and imagination has captivated audiences for over a century. Be whisked away to a magical land of sparkling snow and delectable sweets as enchanting dance from RCB pairs with Tchaikovsky’s unforgettable score, performed in all its glory by the RPO. This beloved story of a young girl’s Christmas Eve dream never fails to touch the heart, and is the perfect start to the holiday season. Tickets: $24 to $104 Where: 26 Gibbs St., Rochester More info: rochestercityballet.com and rpo.org See CALENDAR on page 37
Genesee Country Village & Museum
The 19th -Century Way SAT U R DAY
NOVEMBER 18, 2017
Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays
How did families get ready for the upcoming winter?
10 A.M. - 4 P.M.
December 1-3, 8-10 & 15-17
family time creating
C O O K I N G & TA S T I N G S
B E AU T I F U L
Tour guides will lead you through the winter streets in December 1849. Enjoy music, dancing and tree lighting. Experience how residents react to the news of the new Christmas holiday!
BREWING BEER THE OLD TIME WAY
Enjoy a festive dinner buffet.
C RAFT S
5 CRAFTS $25 LEARN
how meat was preserved
EAT INSIDE AN HISTORIC INN
Members $19 Non-Members $25
dinner buffet :
30 adults • $16 youth 4 -10 FREE for children three and under. $
10.00 GENERAL ADMISSION
Online Reservations Required:
(MEMBERS AND CHILDREN FREE)
585-538-6822 I N F O @ G C V. O R G 1410 F L I N T H I L L R OAD M U M F O R D, N Y 14511
The Largest Living History Museum In New York State! gcvm 2017 rocparent full preparing yuletide v4.indd 1
9/29/17 3:55 PM
CURATED CALENDAR CALENDAR, from page 35 A Christmas Carol Geva Theatre Center Nov. 22 to Dec. 24 Rochester’s family holiday tradition and family classic will awaken your heart and rekindle your spirit with magic, music, and merriment. Tickets: $18 to $59.25 (recommended for ages 5 and over) Where: 75 Woodbury Blvd., Rochester More info: gevatheatre.org The Grinch Cobblestone Theatre Dec. 8 to 10 Mossa School of Dance presents The Grinch, the classic Dr. Seuss tale of that grouchy, cave-dwelling creature with a heart “two sizes too small,” who lives on snowy Mount Crumpit. Storytelling through dance, with a seasonal twist. Tickets: $12 general admission Where: 1622 State Route 332, Farmington More info: cobblestoneartscenter.com/ fallperformanceseries The Nutcracker Presented by New York State Ballet Kodak Center for Performing Arts Dec. 8 to 10 The New York State Ballet presents the Christmas classic, with music by Tchaikovsky performed by a live orchestra under conductor Jared Chase, and featuring the Lyric Voices. Young Clara falls asleep at her family’s Christmas party with a majestic tree and her beloved nutcracker doll, who magically comes alive, battles the Mouse King and takes her to the Land of Sweets, where she meets the Sugar Plum Fairy and enjoys dances from around the world. Tickets: $10 to $45 Where: 200 West Ridge Road, Rochester More info: newyorkstateballet.org OrKIDStra Holiday Special: The Snowman and The Bear Presented by Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra Kodak Hall at Eastman Theatre
Clara and her Nutcracker take the Kodak Hall stage Nov. 22 to 26. as Rochester City Ballet and the RPO team up for magical performances. PROVIDED PHOTO
to life in The Snowman, and a kind polar bear comes to live with a young girl in The Bear. Also featuring other holiday musical favorites. When: 2 p.m. Tickets: $15 to $40 Where: 26 Gibbs St., Rochester More info: rpo.org
When: 10 a.m. Tickets: $5 Where: 1622 State Route 332, Farmington More info: cobblestoneartscenter.com/ fallperformanceseries Hip Hop Nutcracker RBTL’s Auditorium Theatre Wednesday, Dec. 20
A Christmas Story, The Musical RBTL’s Auditorium Theatre December 12 to 17 Based on the classic 1983 movie, A Christmas Story, The Musical was nominated for three 2013 Tony Awards, including Best Musical. Set in 1940s Indiana, a young and bespectacled Ralphie Parker schemes his way toward the holiday gift of his dreams, an official Red Ryder® Carbine-Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle. But a few distractions stand between Ralphie and his Christmas wish — including an infamous leg lamp, outrageous pink bunny pajamas, a maniacal department store Santa, and a triple-dog-dare lick of a freezing flagpole. Tickets: Visit www.ticketmaster.com or call 1-800-745-3000 for ticket prices, or visit the Auditorium Theatre box office in person. Where: 885 East Main St., Rochester More info: rbtl.org Holiday Voices with Santa Cobblestone Theatre
Sunday, Dec. 10
Saturday, Dec. 16
Enjoy two animated winter classics on the big screen with a live soundtrack played by the RPO. A young boy is delighted to find a special friend come
Holiday Voices features members of Cobblestone Players sharing a selection of holiday classics. Tickets include breakfast snacks and a visit with Santa.
A holiday mash-up for the whole family, The Hip Hop Nutcracker re-imagines Tchaikovsky’s classic score through explosive hip hop choreography. A dozen all-star dancers, on-stage DJ, and an electric violinist bring the traditional Nutcracker story to life, set in contemporary New York City. This show celebrates love, community, and the magic of the holiday season. When: 7:30 p.m. Tickets: Visit www.ticketmaster.com or call 1-800-745-3000 for ticket prices, or visit the Auditorium Theatre box office in person. Where: 885 East Main St., Rochester More info: rbtl.org Gala Holiday Pops Presented by Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra Kodak Hall at Eastman Theatre Dec. 21-23 It’s not the holidays without Jeff Tyzik and the RPO. Celebrate the season with beloved carols, plus crooner Denzal Sinclaire, performing holiday classics by vocal legends. Tickets: $24 to $110 Where: 26 Gibbs St., Rochester More info: rpo.org
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Have fun. Be fit. Make friends. Multi Sensory Learning Environment innovative programming for all ages & abilities www.autismup.org Social & Readiness Skills, Supported Fitness & Recreation, & Sensory Programs Basketball | Fitness Classes | 1:1 Personal Training | Sensory Regulation | Cooking | Minecraft | Picky Eaters Club | Boxing Art & Music | Yoga | Boys and Girls Clubs | Teen Socials Birthday Parties | Sensory Gym Play | School Break Programs 855 Publishers Pkwy, Webster, NY 14580 | 585-248-9011
Past meets present at Genesee Country Village & Museum
shops that are worth the sip ALSO • • Coffee High Falls Film Festival - Nov. 2-6 INSIDE • Meet Margaret from the Public Market RocParent.com
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WRITERS IN THIS ISSUE BREANNA BANFORD is the Yelp Rochester community director. She brings the online community offline, connecting people to great local businesses through collaborative events and marketing partnerships. As a Rochester native, Breanna lives, breathes, and eats for this city. When she’s not hosting events for the Yelp community, you’ll almost always find her with rosé in one hand and french fries in the other. MEAMI CRAIG, PH.D, holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology and human development from Harvard University and a doctorate in psychology. A long-time media personality, she gave advice for 20 years on WARM 101.3 and was a popular columnist and blogger with weekly newspapers and Democrat and Chronicle, focusing on relationships and family. You may ask Meami questions for her She Rocs column at (585) 432-1010 or changeyourlifeservices.com. KATE HERMANN is executive director of High Falls Film Festival, for which she leads fundraising initiatives and manages marketing and administrative activities.
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Cover Story Past meets present at Genesee Country Village & Museum Girls on Film High Falls Film Festival takes to screens Nov. 2-6 Meet Margaret from the Market The City of Rochester Public Market has a lot of friends
7 The Audacious Believer Tips on thriving through the holidays 9 Help from Yelp Shopping for indie coffee shops 12 Ask Dr. Meami Take control when life messes with you
NOVEMB ER/DECEM BER 2017
DANTE WORTH is a success mentor and author based in Rochester who released his book Free to Be Me in 2014. He holds a bachelor’s degree in PR and communications from SUNY Brockport. In the community he has organized and hosted motivational seminars, the Black Authors Expo, and three installments of ROC Mastery Writing Seminars. Each spring he hosts the Audacious Believer’s Ultimate Women’s Conference, where he brings together women and men to enable, empower, and inspire them to live life with a victorious freedom.
After a more than 30-year career in community journalism, LINDA QUINLAN likes to say she is “semi”retired. She is now a freelance writer, serves more than one cause as a volunteer, is a caregiver for her mother, and a proud grandmother. She is married, has three grown children, a granddaughter, a cat, and a dog. When not writing, she likes to read and garden.
ON THE COVER
Becky Wehle continues her family’s legacy at Genesee Country Village & Museum, which was founded by her grandfather. PHOTO BY PAUL OLCOTT
Past m ee Countr ts present at y Villa ge & M Genesee useum
ALSO • Coffe INSIDE • High FaellsshopFilsmthat are worth th e sip • Fest
Meet Ma rgaret fro ival - Nov. 2-6 m the Pu blic Mark et RocParen t.com
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Becky Wehle fosters family legacy at the museum ‘everyone loves’
As CEO she’s finding new ways for visitors to connect the past and present at Genesee Country Village & Museum By DRESDEN ENGLE
As Genesee Country Village & Museum wraps up its 42nd season in December, it will be season for the history books — the year when the founder’s granddaughter officially took over as director. Becky Wehle, 45, was just three-yearsold when the museum opened. Grandfather John Wehle invested his funds from running Genesee Brewing Company into a dream, one that he conceived in 1966 and became a reality in 1976. Today Genesee Country Village & Museum (GCVM) is the largest livinghistoric museum in New York state and
maintains the third largest collection of history buildings in the United States. The 600-acre complex hosts 68 historic structures furnished with 15,000 artifacts, interpreted by staff in period-appropriate dress. GCVM is a major tourist attraction for our region. Among the dozens of buildings preserved in the historic village are George Eastman’s childhood home, the house of Col. Nathaniel Rochester, mansions of the era, an opera house, a working farm with animals, a mercantile, a schoolhouse, a town hall, plus two churches. Wehle started her career in the museum world, working in public relations for
Wehle enjoys working alongside the staff in the village, including the two working oxen, Buck and Dan (two of her favorites). PHOTO BY PAUL OLCOTT November/December 2017 She Rocs Magazine 4
George Eastman Museum right out of college and now, after many years with the University of Rochester working in advancement, she has returned to her museum roots. It’s in her blood and she has served on the GCVM board for 19 years and even had her wedding in the historic village. Appointed interim director on July 1, 2016, the job became official in 2017. Wehle already is expanding educational programs and this year the museum welcomed a website and its first guide book in 25 years. She Rocs magazine sat down with Becky recently and here’s a bit of our chat:
THE FOURTH GENERATION Wehle’s children are big fans of GCVM
Young Becky poses on the steps of the Livingston-Backus House shortly after Genesee Country Village opened to the public in the 1970s. This remains her favorite house of the dozens on site, and as CEO she was photographed again on those steps in 2017. PHOTOS PROVIDED BY BECKY WEHLE AND GENESEE COUNTRY VILLAGE & MUSEUM
You have been a trustee of GCVM since 1997, and now, you are the president and CEO. Is there anything you are now seeing through new eyes? Yes, the magnitude of what it takes to get the place running and the work that goes literally 24 hours a day, from taking care of the animals and making sure the buildings are safe and staff are welcoming visitors in a friendly and helpful way. There’s a lot that goes on. I had some of appreciation for that as a board member but the most interesting part has been digging in and seeing this all firsthand as a staff member. You have been associated with the museum your entire life. What is the response you get when you tell people where you work? Almost everyone has a story. It’s amazing the positive responses I get from pretty much everywhere, from people who love this museum and want to talk about it.
Have you ever had anyone say, “I don’t like it there”? I have never. Have you?
As a mom as well as a museum CEO, do you see the need for more educational programs? We certainly are making ourselves more relevant to kids today. Sure, the 19th century is pretty far into the past for them, but there are a lot of connections between then and now. And there are lessons in looking at what kids their age did in the 19th century, how their clothes were made or where their food came from. We are integrating educational and cultural experiences more, field studies and also STEM experiences. Over the past year we’ve made a concerted effort focused on four buildings: our carpentry shop, tailor shop, drug store, and print shop. In the tailor shop we can show how two-dimensional objects become 3D objects and in the drug store we explore
See GCVM on page 6 November/December 2017
Henry, age 15, and Eliza, 13, have been coming to GCVM since they were days old. We asked them their thoughts on mom’s new job and their family legacy “I think the first thing I said when I heard about her new job was “Congratulations” and then I asked how many weekends she was going to be gone,” Henry said, noting that his mom traveled a lot for her UR job. She now is only a few miles away from their Scottsville home. “It’s better to work because it’s a place close to your heart,” he said. “Our family cares about the museum and we want to keep it going.” “We were very happy for her,” Eliza added. “We know how much she loves it here.” He and his sister enjoy walking around the village with their mom and on their own. “The special events days are when I’m there the most, and I love it because you feel like you are actually back in time,” he said. Both Henry and Eliza said Yuletide in the Country, which takes place most weekends in December, is their favorite event each year. “The candles are pretty with the snow and all the buildings,” Eliza said. “I like hearing all the stories about how Christmas evolved over time.” Come summertime, it’s summer camp at the village, and this year they enjoyed cooking old-fashioned recipes over the fire. Eliza’s faves? Hand pies and coconut bread. Eliza’s favorite building is the log house. “I love the barn and animals and oxen and trundle beds.” What would she have enjoyed the least in the 1800s? Her answer: The outhouses and the chores. Henry’s favorite building at the village is the same as his mom’s — the Livingston-Backus House. So, do either of Wehle’s kids want to the run the place some day? Both quickly and passionately replied, “Yes!” “People think it’s so cool here, it’s so visual and hands-on,” Eliza said. “People who don’t find museums interesting adore this museum.”
GCVM, from page 5 chemistry. We are moving our print shop down the hill three houses to make more room so visitors can see a printing press at work. In spring 2018 we will have a telegraph set-up spanning two rooms, so students can experience technology used during the Civil War, which was essentially 19th century texting.
What do you want fellow parents to know about Genesee Country Village & Museum? You can have experiences here that you could never have in a classroom. We say we bring history to life and I believe we really do that. You can see oxen working or look at a bed to understand how and where a kid slept more than 100 years ago, or how laundry got done. And you can keep coming back, year after year or month after month, because every day could be a different experience. In fact we are offering more interpreted talks and guided tours with staff members, so you can see what you haven’t seen before or find a new way to look at it. Kids today are complaining about mowing the lawn, kids in the past had to keep the farm working. They also had to make hundreds of candles every fall and spring. Are there other programming plans you can share with us? We use our village for interpretation and we can add more experiences, since we focus on the 19th century, which was such a rich time period. We plan to add more programs related to woman’s suffrage as well as slavery and abolition. These subjects are so ripe for historical experiences and we are always working to do more to tell these stories and give people hands-on fun experience. Was GCVM a focal point of your life while you were growing up? We came here all the time, every summer of my life, anytime anything significant was going on. It was important for us to be here as a family, to see how the attendance was and if the visitors were having a good time. And it’s funny because now my kids ask me these same questions: “Was it a good weekend?” “Did a lot of people come out.” It’s now come full circle. 6
The magic of winter and holidays past await you at Genesee Country Village & Museum in November and December. PROVIDED PHOTO
Genesee Country Village & Museum Our editor selected our “Roc Parent Pick” for this issue — Genesee Country Village and Museum. While this blast-into-the-past is a favorite for audiences in the warm months, magical experiences await you in November and December. Genesee Country Village & Museum is located 1410 Flint Hill Road, Mumford, which is about 30 minutes form the city of Rochester. Tickets and more info for these fun family events can be found online at gcv.org.
PREPARING FOR THE HOLIDAYS When: Saturday, Nov. 18 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tickets: $10 adults/free children under 18. Additional fees for DIY crafts on site. About: Interact with the villagers as they demonstrate a variety of activities, including soap making, candle making, wool spinning, and meat preserving. You may also try your hand at making Christmas crafts you can take home, including crafting Victorian holiday cards in the town square with the folks from Roc Parent magazine. Plus, enjoy some Christmas shopping at the Flint Hill Store.
BREAKFAST WITH ST. NICK When: Saturday, Nov. 25 at 9:30 a.m., 10:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m., and 12:30 p.m. Tickets: $7.50 general admission /$30 family pass (families with 5 or more members). Children 2 and under free. Tickets available online, at the door, and all area Wegmans. About: Sit down in the beautiful holiday-decorated Meeting Center for a delicious breakfast with pancakes and all the toppings, sausage, juice, coffee, tea and hot chocolate. St. Nick will be available to meet with children, take photos, and give them a special 19th-century treat! Reservations are required.
YULETIDE IN THE COUNTRY When: December 1-3, 8-10, and 15-17 Tickets: $10 for adults and children for tour only; buffet optional and an additional $30 for adults and $16 for children (ages under 2 free). Advance reservations required for both tour and buffet. About: Journey through the snowy historic village visiting the homes and businesses of the villagers — they are celebrating the news that Christmas has been declared an official holiday in New York! Singing, dancing, music, and other festivities will surround you during these enchanting Christmas tours. You can also enjoy a delicious Yuletide-themed buffet dinner (on its own or in conjunction with your tour), catered by the Caledonia Village Inn. Please note: This is a 90-minute guided walking tour (rain or shine), and as such it is not recommended for people with walking difficulties or infants (strollers are not allowed). Advanced reservations are required.
Peace from broken pieces Three helpful ways to thrive through the holidays The holidays aren’t as joyful for some as they are for others. While some families are snagging eccentric projects off Pinterest, taking funny selfies, and enjoying the traditional holiday festivities, there are many others suffering from situational depression. “Situational depression is usually considered an adjustment disorder rather than true depression … but that doesn’t mean it should be ignored,” said Chris Iliades, MD, in Everyday Health. If you’re struggling with depression this holiday season, you are not alone. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), one in 20 Americans aged 12 and older suffer from some form of depression. The holiday season can be an extremely difficult time not to fall victim to the holiday blues as you reflect on the pain of not being able to connect with loved ones near and far. What I know for sure is that when you feel broken, it presents an incredible opportunity to rebuild yourself stronger than ever before. You truly have the power to get through what you’re going through. Here are three helpful ways you can pick up the broken pieces and thrive — not just survive — this holiday season.
Whether you have recently lost a loved one or the holidays simply trigger the pain of their absence, give yourself permission
to practice the lost art of grieving. Honor your loved one in a special way, such as creating a picture collage that expresses your best memories together; writing a letter to your loved one in a journal; or playing music while allowing yourself to cry, remember, and heal.
Release pain through the power of forgiveness. Silent frustration causes us to shrink back rather than enjoy our loved ones. Free yourself this holiday season and forgive people in every area of your life — your family, co-workers, and those who have harmed you in someway.
Say this out loud and then repeat: I AM PERFECT FOR THE HEARTS THAT ARE MEANT TO LOVE ME. The holidays may cause us to reflect on our shortcomings in regard to what we don’t have, what we can’t buy, and who we can’t make happy. Remember that those who truly love you, including your children, will continue to love you if they don’t receive that overpriced gift from you. Your time, your presence, and your genuine love is more valuable than anything else — so be sure to give love and be present this holiday season.
PROJECTING EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES The festival hits screen Nov. 2-6 By KATE HERRMANN, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, HIGH FALLS FILM FESTIVAL
In favor of gender balance in films, a study conducted by The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media found that films promoting gender balance are more socially accepted and consistently make more money at the box office. Producers and studio heads take note: Equality makes better business sense.
Progress. This has been a remarkable year of progress for women in diverse roles in the film industry, both in front of and behind the camera. Since 2001, Rochester’s High Falls Film Festival has showcased women who contribute to the art and business of film. From the success of Wonder Woman — a Because Rochester was female-driven action the home to women’s rights movie directed by Patty pioneer Susan B. Anthony Jenkins that broke box-office records — to and father-of-film George more evidence of equal Eastman, this is the only pay among actors, women have made town that can rightfully claim strides towards gender having a festival like ours. equality in the movie — KATE HERRMANN, business. Executive Director, High Falls Film Festival Yet, despite the progress, here are Now in the 17th year of the High recent statistics from a study from the USC Falls Film Festival, it is possible that our Linguistics Lab that examined nearly 1,000 mission and our programming have never modern movie scripts: been more relevant. While strides have been • Female characters are invariably made, it remains obvious that we have far younger, speak less, and if removed to go in leveling the balance of gender roles from the plot, usually make no differin filmmaking. As an example, New York ence when compared to the roles of State has introduced legislation that would their male counterparts. encourage the hiring of female and minority • Women have less than half the lines writers and directors. men do — 37,000 male lines vs. It is important that our audiences realize 15,000 for women. • There are 12 times more male directors it is not always about advancing a social position, but also the enjoyment of great and seven times more male writers.
She Rocs Magazine
art. A festival like ours is truly a celebration that gives people direct access to filmmakers, actors, directors, producers, and writers. We screen narrative feature films as well as documentaries and short films in celebration of visual storytelling. And because Rochester was the home to pioneers like Susan B. Anthony and George Eastman, this is the only town that can rightfully claim having a festival like ours. There are many things that make our festival unique, but certainly near the top of the list is the diversity of our programming. Each year the festival provides film lovers the opportunity to see the finest independent films made by women, from high drama narratives to romantic comedies, fascinating documentaries and insightful short films. Director Q&As, panels, and workshops offer access to top film industry professionals. From Nov. 2 to 6, we celebrate women in film and the art they make for everyone. The full slate of films for 2017 is online at HighFallsFilmFestival.com.
But first, coffee Eight indie coffee shops worth the sip Just when you were thinking you knew all the coffee shops in town, you stumble on a few cool new kids on the block. No matter how you take your coffee, you’ll want to make sure to try these hotspots for a caffeinated perk-me-up, personally pressed for you by Breanna Banford, Yelp Rochester’s community director.
Ugly Duck Coffee
New Roots Coffee House
89 Charlotte Street, Rochester uglyduckcoffee.com
1273 Long Pond Road, Greece (585) 453-8228 newrootscoffeehouse.com
“I love the space, very minimalistic and modern... Rory makes a great latte as well. Check it out, grab a coffee and take some cool pictures.”
“Every nook and surface had something artsy or handmade to look at. Signs announcing classes and upcoming events. There was a band harmonizing quietly on the other side of the house. ... They carry Finger Lakes coffee for sipping and for sale.”
— Adriana M.
Stir Coffee I-Square, 400 Bakers Park, Irondequoit (585) 266-1111 | i-square.us
— Ebbie P.
The Daily Grind Coffeeshop
Ugly Duck Coffee. YELP PHOTO BY EMILY H.
“They serve Finger Lakes Coffee Roasters coffee — yay! My husband and I both ordered iced coffees and they were rich and delicious.”
— Mary P.
2 State Street, Rochester (585) 623-1759 thedailygrindcoffeeshop.com
616A Pittsford-Victor Road, Pittsford (Bushnell’s Basin) (585) 249-9310 | mellowmug.co
Glen Edith Coffee Roasters
“Absolutely love this place as a quick stop in Crossroads. … Normally very quick service depending on the fancy drinks … always with a positive attitude and smile. They have also extended their menu vastly.”
“They have good Wi-Fi and the tables are spacious enough for me to spread out with some work. … I came in for a drink, London Fog latte ... and grabbed a sandwich.”
23 Somerton Street. (off Park Avenue), Rochester | (585) 209-3633 44 Elton Street (off Atlantic Avenue), Rochester | (585) 441-9196 glenedithcoffee.com
“They roast their own single origin beans in house. ... The baristas excel at crafting pour overs and this really brings out the unique tasting notes they list.”
— Matthew R.
739 Park Avenue, Rochester (585) 697-0235
602 South Avenue, Rochester (pop-up at Cheesy Eddie’s Bakery) (585) 371-8993 merakicoffeeroc.com
“Ambiance is European and cozy, and I love that I can come here at any point in the day and get what I am craving. Whether it is wine time or coffee time.”
“While inside the established Cheesy Eddie’s bake shop I noticed the little counter space where Ryan was stationed to serve me an excellent cup of cortado.”
— Megan C.
— Andrew P.
— Mike I.
Running the A ‘Friend’ makes the City of Rochester landmark her retirement gig By LINDA QUINLAN
Margaret O’Neill has been a devoted volunteer with the Friends of the Rochester Public Market for nine years. She calls it her “retirement gig.” You might also say O’Neill is a champion for the 112-year-old market, one of the community’s most beloved landmarks, at 280 N. Union Street, Rochester. The “Friends” is a volunteer organization that was founded in 2003 to help celebrate the market’s 100th Anniversary celebration. Their purpose is simply to support the market, which is operated by the City of Rochester. Today, the Friends not only organize some events, provide guided tours and order and sell market-branded merchandise, but also run the market token program, sponsor monthly healthy eating programs and food
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tastings, and more. “I love working on programs and with the market audience,” O’Neill said. She explained that she just didn’t want an “office job” in retirement. Formerly of Rochester and Henrietta and now a Honeoye Falls resident, she previously had a 30-year career with Cornell Cooperative Extension, the last five-plus as executive director. Since Jim Farr, the Public Market’s director, was on her board, he suggested she help start the token program when she retired, and maybe do some grant writing. O’Neill now does both. One of the grants received supported the purchase of the tram that shuttles market shoppers to and from more distant parking lots. “There will never be enough parking,” O’Neill said with a smile, “but we do try really hard to make shopping at the market as convenient as possible.” She spends three days a week at the market. Her tasks include coordinating volunteers and leading tours. The wife, mother of one, and relatively “new” grandmother also does her shopping at the market. “I rarely shop at the grocery store anymore,” she confessed. “I can buy just about everything I need here.” She admitted, like many a market shopper, “You have to pace yourself. … It’s so easy to buy more than you can use!” O’Neill helped develop the market’s popular cookbook program. In fact, the first cookbook is already out of print, O’Neill
“I think fall, though, is the most wonderful time of year to shop at the market.” said, but the second is still available. “It is a veritable feast of favorite recipes shared by farmers, vendors, shoppers, and renowned local chefs,” O’Neill said. “And all recipes feature food from the market.” Proceeds from the sale of the books directly supports the operation of the market token program. O’Neill often can be found at the new “token center,” built out of a onetime shipping container, much like four of the market’s most popular food vendors. It is located behind the market office near the center of the market. The Friends’ willingness to run the token program makes it very viable, said market supervisor Cindy DeCoste. There are two kinds of market tokens: Ones that can be purchased with food stamp EBT benefits and used to purchase fresh produce at market vendors, or “gift tokens, which are $5 gift certificates accepted by vendors at the market throughout the year. It costs about $50,000 a year to administer the token program, O’Neill said, but notes that $1 million dollars worth of tokens were sold last year alone. “And that goes directly to farmers, families, and the local economy,” she pointed out. “It’s a win-win for everyone.” “I think fall, though, is the most wonderful time of year to shop at the market,” O’Neill said. “Where we live has some of the most fertile farmland in the country, and at the market, you get bargain prices, since you’re buying direct from the farmers.”
Food and history
There’s so much to learn at the market — not only about food, but also about history. Among the facts O’Neill provides to tour-goers, often school groups, are that since the Rochester Public Market has been operating continuously for 112 years, it makes it the thirdoldest such market in the country. In fact,
the brick streets are original. She also explains that since Rochester’s is a “public” market, its vendors have always been a combination of local farmers and wholesalers who buy from around the country and world. She likes to ask tour-goers what they think is the most expensive food at the market. (It turns out it’s a spice, saffron, which costs $12 a gram or $4,000 a pound, since it takes 47 acres to produce just one pound, according to O’Neill.) With recent major renovations, the market is also a wonderful blend of old and new, O’Neill said, pointing to new solar panels in roofs, and the new enclosed shed with new restrooms and areas for cooking demonstrations. DeCoste called the renovations “incredible, state-of-the-art.” The latest cold-storage technology also means you get really fresh, local produce — especially apples and root vegetables like potatoes, carrots, onions, squash, turnips — year-round, O’Neill said. While permanent storefronts at the market — bakeries, cheese vendors, a florist, and more and more restaurants — are open seven days a week, farmers and wholesalers are on hand with their offerings on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. The only time the market is closed is on Thanksgiving, which always falls on a Thursday, or if Christmas falls on a Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday. “Or unless there’s a blizzard,” added Mike Mizerny of Greece, who has been a market volunteer for three years now. He is now in charge of the Friends’ market T-shirt and sweatshirt sales. His daughter Lauren has also joined him as a volunteer and works part-time for one of the vendors. The market can be “a crazy place to be” on Saturdays, Mizerny said with a smile, noting that one Saturday a couple of weeks ago, just the token program alone processed 826 transactions. “But the market is fun,” O’Neill said. “There are food demonstrations, music, places where you can pick up coffee and breakfast … It can be a great, social and relaxing outing — a good time for the entire family.”
Holidays at the Market
There are special events at the Rochester Public Market year-round. One of my family’s (many) favorites is Holidays at the Market. If you’re looking for unique ways to help prepare for the holidays, there’s no need to look further than the market. This year’s three Sundays of holiday events and unique shopping opportunities are scheduled from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sundays, Dec. 3, 10, and 17. Admission is free. One of the event’s “treats” is a free horse-drawn carriage ride around the market — with Santa. While families wait for their rides, there are activities like cookie decorating. For shoppers, the market is filled with the scent of evergreen — trees, wreaths, table centerpieces, roping — plus produce, prepared foods, and gifts.
Give a gift of the market
You can support the Rochester Public Market by simply visiting, but you can also put a piece of the market under the tree. For instance: • The Friends of the Rochester Public Market sell a variety of market branded merchandise, from hoodies and T-shirts to coffee mugs, tote bags, a market history book, posters of historic scenes, and more. • The Friends’ second cookbook: “Bringing the Market Home; Savoring the Seasons from the Rochester Public Market,” a fullcolor, 84-page cookbook that celebrates the joy that is the shopping — and eating — experience at the market. The gorgeous pictures are worth the price ($25) alone. Cookbooks can be purchased at the market, but may also be ordered online at www.marketfriends.org and can be shipped anywhere in the country. • One of my favorite “stocking stuffer” ideas is market gift tokens, which can be purchased in $5 increments and work like gift certificates at any market vendor or food stand. For more information, check out the market’s website at www.cityofrochester.gov/ publicmarket/, or call the market office at (585) 428-6907. RocParent.com
KEEP CALM and CALL
Take control when life is messing with you DEAR DR. MEAMI: I am a
Sort it out
housekeeping and financial mess ... literally! My bills are never paid on time because they are strewn all over the place. This month I found my RGE bill balled up in the corner of my TV room, stuck inside an empty Mars bar wrapper. HELP! Signed, Hapless in Henrietta
DEAR HAPLESS: The only way
out of all this is to make a personal plan for immediate change, and then work it, girl — work it right away. Make a big, visible checklist and post it in a spot where you look directly several times a day. As you make your visual plan, take heart, be hopeful, shut your phone off to avoid all distractions, and put on music to energize you. Or maybe put on a happy Hallmark movie in the background, one where everything goes all wrong but then, 92 minutes later, all ends up being so perfectly right ... kind of like your life will begin to be as of right now. Now, here’s how to get your “mess” under control:
From room to room
Arm yourself with a big garbage bag and three empty laundry baskets or big boxes, plus a dozen blank folders, and start in the messiest room first. Go room to room and get everything off the floor and up onto one flat surface. For example, pick up all stray items and put them on your kitchen table, sofa, or bed. 12
Throw away all obvious garbage into the bag (note: this includes half-eaten bags of candy). Be ruthless and throw away everything not of value and enjoy the feeling of power you get from purging the past mess while creating a new life for the new you. Put away all that is out of place in each room — neatly, no shoving items randomly into already messy drawers. Items that belong elsewhere go into one laundry basket or box, while papers go into the second one. Finally put items you plan to donate to Goodwill or sell at a garage sale into third laundry bin. Then, triumphantly, move on to the next room. Don’t rush but go at a brisk clip so you don’t get tired or discouraged as you move from room to room … and be sure to hit every room.
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Return the items in basket number 1 to their proper locations and neatly put in your garage the laundry basket with items to be donated or sold (with a plan to attend to this basket in the next day or two). You are now ready for a break before you tackle the basket with the papers. Have no guilt as you sit in front of the TV with a drink and a snack (and by drink, remember that this is a workday, girlfriend!). The TV surfing can travel from the Hallmark Channel to other guilty pleasures, like The Real Housewives (where the women never have days like yours). Now sort each piece of paper you collected into folders. Label the folders with headers like, To Do Now, To Do Long Term, Outgoing Mail, Bills to Pay, and (my personal favorite) Reasons I Deserve a Personal Chef and Trainer Like Oprah Has.
A satisfying sense of control
As you revel in the satisfying sense of control you have gotten from organizing your living space, you may be able to translate that into organizing and preparing the food items you put into your mouth.
My next column will focus exclusively on answering the many questions I have gotten on weight loss, including its link to calming the chaos around you into an orderly life full of what I call “thinner peace.” Until then, you may call Dr. Meami’s Happiness Hotline at (585) 432-1010.