BY Rochelle Chlala
T h e i n f lu en c e of ‘ wh at we sh ou l d b e doi n g ’ al on g w i th a pressu re to l ive a parti cu l ar way, despi te prov i di n g a n i c e l i t t l e push to b ei n g a ‘ b etter person’ , pl ays a si g n i f i cant rol e i n ou r cho i c es. Neverth el ess, f ai lu re i s n ot a si g n of a l ack of m otivat i o n o r i n ab i l i ty, i t i s rath er a si g n of di sreg ardi n g th e i mpor t a nc e o f ac c ompl i sh ed g row th an d c ompl eti on . I t wou l d b e easy t o have a l i st of resoluti on s an d to h ave th e resou rc es to c ompl e t e t hem al l . L i f e, h owever, u su al ly c on si sts of a m i l l i on oth er a c c o mpl i sh m ents th at we c onv i n c e ou rselves are th e b asi c, ma nda tory th i n g s th at h ol d l i ttl e l i g ht to ou r resoluti on s. G e nui nely i f anyon e can h on estly say th ey ach i eve n o g row th o r devel opm ent th rou g h out an enti re year, you m i g ht j u st n eed a n a gg ressive rem i n der wh i ch I am m ore th an w i l l i n g to provi de. F u rth erm ore, avai l ab l e resou rc es are n ot th e on ly possi bl e o bstacl es to u ph ol di n g resoluti on s. A s a stu dy pu b l i sh ed i n t he j ou rn al Person al i ty an d S oci al P sych ol og y B u l l eti n h i ghl i ght s, resoluti on s wh i ch were enj oyed, as wel l as v i ewed as i mpo rt a nt , were th e on es th at u su al ly saw f u l f i l l m ent i n th e m aj ori ty o f ca ses. I n oth er words, despi te th e i ntenti on s f or ‘ n ew year, new me’, exc essive overarch i n g g oal s can actu al ly l i m i t a person’s a bi l i ty t o c ompl ete th ei r resoluti on s. T h e m ore ef f ective altern ative fo und th at creati n g g oal s h i g h ly speci f i c to on e’s atti tu de an d l i kes devel oped i nto resoluti on s th at stu ck arou n d to see th e n ext yea r. Perh aps th en th e i ssu e i s n ot on e of m otivati on b ut rat her of rel ativ i ty. T h e sam e way we w i sh ed th e cu rrent educat i o nal path di d n ot pu sh i n f orm ati on an d ob j ectives onto everyon e despi te di f f erent proc essi n g m ech an i sm s, we sh o ul d not expect ou rselves to ac c ompl i sh g oal s th at do n ot have o ur trai ts, qu al i ti es, an d ti m etab l es i n m i n d. O f ten th e th ought o f g row th i s associ ated w i th ei th er n ot enj oy i n g or l earn i ng t o enj oy af ter a l on g peri od of ti m e. Yet, i f ti m e were set a si de t o person al i ze ou r g oal s to m ai ntai n a b al an c e b etween what we k n ow we enj oy an d wh at we can l earn to, m ayb e res o lut i o ns wou l d n ot b e k n ow n f or u n determ i n ed b ut i n ev i tab l e fa i lure. D espi te th ese am azi n g ob servati on s i nto ou r perc ep t i o n o f resoluti on s ( i n sert h ai r-f l i p h ere) , n o dou b t th e n ext 1st Ja nu ary w i l l see u s h ave th e sam e g en eri c resoluti on s w i t h very l i ttl e th ou g ht i nto rel ativ i ty or enj oy m ent or f easi b i li ty. The si lver l i n i n g b ei n g i f i t b ec om es exc eedi n g ly di f f i cu lt t o fo l l ow th rou g h w i th th e resoluti on s, th e k n owl edg e th at th ere i s a n untou ch ed ab i l i ty to alter th e resoluti on to h ow you see fi t o r t o si mply rec og n i ze th at wh at you ac c ompl i sh i n a year en c o ura ges g row th , wh i l st n ot b ei n g on th e ch eck l i st, can b e c om fo rt i ng.
G-YOU MAGAZINE// FEBRUARY 2022// 14
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llu s i o ns in varying fo r m s h ave be e n o ut e d acr o ss the artic l es , ye t o n e eve r yo n e wo u ld r ather not think a bo ut is t h e illus io n o f New Year’s R esolutio n s - e s p e c ia lly a s t he me mories and optim is m o f t h e New Ye a r f ad e away. At time of w r it in g , it is o n ly 7 d ays i nt o the yea r a nd s o f a r, it h a s be e n o k ay, but I undoub tedly e x p e c t f o r a r ap id d ecli n e onc e the semest e r s t a r t s . Ye t , wit h t hi s kn owl edge of immi n e nt f a ilur e , o n t h e f ir s t of every year, we s t ill a ll c o lle c t ive ly d eci d e t o ful fil l the goa ls wh ic h s e e m a bit t oo har d to ac hieve al l ye a r -r o un d . ( Quic k n ot e t o al l the peopl e wh o d o m a n a g e t o u p h old t heir resolutions a ll ye a r, yo u g uys a r e be as ts - pl ea se teac h m e yo ur ways . ) Howeve r, the reasoning be h in d why we cho o s e t o keep ma k ing t h e s e p r o m is e s t o o ur s e lve s is simply b a s e d in hum a n n at ur e . T he p ossib il ity of sta r t in g a f r e s h a n d p o s i tive ly devel oping your p e r s o n a is t o o a llur i n g . We a l l notic e our f laws , a n d it m ay be e asy to simply stat e t h at c h a n g e will h ap p e n , b ut the transitio n p r o c e s s c a n be a lot of work . We al l inh e r e nt ly wa nt t o be c ome be tter peopl e, a n d wit h t h e p r o m is e o f an u n determined ye a r, t h e t ur n in g ove r o f a n ew l eaf seems a l l t h at m o r e p o s s ible . C han ge s in b ehaviour a r e c o m m o n a n d it wo u ld be natural to a s s um e t h at a wh o le n ew ye ar woul d b e the b e s t t im e t o s t a r t t h e j ou r n e y, a l ongside everyo n e e ls e is d o in g it ! Wh e t her it b e regar d in g s p e n d in g p at t er n s , le c ture attending, o r s imp ly a s lig ht chan g e i n attitude, eac h g o a l c o m e s wit h a leve l o f diffic ulty and wit h t h e mult it ud e o f t hi n gs that we eac h un d e r t a ke eve r y d ay, t he diffic ulty c a n be ove r wh e lm in g a n d eve nt u ally defeat our in it ia l m ot ivat io n s . A n i n abil ity to ac c omp lis h t h e s e r e s o lut ion s can feel terrib l e , p a r t ic ula r ly f r o m p e r s on al experienc e. I t c o uld be d own t o t ime , money, wanting t o g o t o HIVE, but a ke y h i ndra nc e woul d be t h e ove r a r c h in g g o als t hat everyone att e mp t s wit h ve r y lit t l e r e gard to if they c a n a c t ua lly s que e z e t he m i nto their st r ug g lin g s c h e dule .
‘new year, new me’?
(New Year’s Resolutions)
Rochelle Chlala
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
