like, “You’re such a big boy now! You can go to the park and ride on the swings. The baby is too little to do that.” Your older child needs to be reassured that he’s special and unique. So let him know that you love him and praise him generously when he’s helpful or kind toward the baby.
DEALING WITH DOUBTS ABOUT MARRIAGE
husband could engage the older child in some kind of fun one-on-one activity, giving the boy his full attention. On the other side of the coin, Dad could give you frequent breaks by changing, rocking, burping and generally helping care for the baby whenever possible. That will enable you to also spend some special time with your toddler each day. Many parents notice some regressive behavior on the part of their toddler after a new baby arrives. For example, the child may try to climb into the infant’s crib or suddenly forget his potty training skills. One way to counter this is to affirm your toddler for his “grown-up” capabilities and to point out some of the advantages of being older. You might say something
Q: What should I do if I fear that my marriage may have been a mistake? It’s only been a short time since the wedding, and already I’m beginning to think that I’ve married the wrong person.
share your goals in a lifetime of mutual commitment, your satisfaction level can increase as you come together. The object lesson is obvious: If you want to be content living with another person, you have to learn to be content in who you are.
Greg Smalley, Vice President, Family Ministries: Simply put, marriage is not primarily about “finding the right person.” It’s about being the right person.
Second, shake off the lingering influences of premarital romance and learn to appreciate your spouse for who he or she really is. During courtship, both spouses-to-be tend to get excited about this wonderful new relationship. As a result, they fill in any perceived gaps in their loved one’s personality. Accept that you’re now married to a person who has flaws— just like you have.
You can begin by working on yourself. If you entered marriage with the expectation that you were going to find happiness in your mate, you were probably disappointed. The range of emotions that we normally experience as unmarried individuals has the potential to become even wider in marriage. If you and your spouse were unhappy and unfulfilled as singles, those feelings of discontentment can sink even lower after you tie the knot. But if you each have a sense of deep individual meaning and purpose, and a desire to
Third, remind yourself of the true meaning of love. Erich Fromm wrote: “To love somebody is not just a strong feeling—it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is
TO KNOW HIM AND LIVE THAT OTHERS MAY KNOW HIM You will be encouraged, challenged and have opportunity to grow in your personal relationship with Jesus Christ!
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