Finding Community
part of the country, and I was afraid that if I joined this new community, I would lose the one I already had. When I came to Groton, I faced the same problem. I was in a new place with new people, and I didn’t want to change. If the people in my dorm did not want to do something I enjoyed, then I went and did it by myself. Even if I did decide to change myself, would they like me? How do you go about reinventing yourself? Everyone else already seemed to have friends. They seemed to fit in comfortably. They didn’t seem fazed by the fact they were now in a new school, in a new state, with new people. I was scared. I had nowhere familiar to go to, and I was in a school much more demanding than the one I had just left. I decided that while at Groton, I would attend classes, go to sports, do my homework, and sleep. I would learn to be a good student, get adjusted to the workload, and wait to enjoy myself during vacation. I decided to be comfortably numb. Trying to join the community was unnerving. So I didn’t. I spent the Saturdays of my Third Form year in my room watching movies. If someone else wanted to watch with me, then I spent that Saturday in my room with someone else watching movies. There is no such thing as comfortably numb. I worked hard, but because I would not step outside myself, I wasn’t learning. Because I wasn’t learning, I wasn’t doing well in school. And when it came to athletics, I was content to sit on the bench. I had protected myself. No part of me was getting lost in Groton. I had kept myself safely outside the Circle. I was safe and miserable.
Third formers, Bridget Bousa, Nimesha Gerlus and Suzanna Hamer await St. Mark’s Day Roll Call.
I decided to be comfortably numb... There is no such thing as comfortably numb.
Quarterly Winter 2010
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