COVER story Edited by Elaine Ramirez (elaine@groovekorea.com)
Adoptee Laura Wachs grew up in Seattle in a white, middle-class family. Korean culture played no role in her life, which is why she came to Seoul in June. “That’s why this trip is such a big deal,” she says. “I know nothing about Korean culture and I’m afraid of the ignorance that exists in my life due to that. “To be honest, I was embarrassed about my Korean heritage for a long time. I think grow-
‘Our presence can bring to the surface conflicted feelings about public pasts and private events which were traumatic for (Koreans) — feelings most have worked hard at repressing.’ Leanne Leith
ing up in a predominantly white and privileged society made me think I was better than my culture,” she adds. “I’m realizing how proud I am of being Korean, and what an honor it is to learn and be a part of these two different worlds.” Leanne (Suki) Leith, raised in the U.S., returned to Korea in 2009 and stayed for four years. “I came to get a glimpse of the country I came from but knew nothing about,” she says. Having grown up in the Midwest, Leith, like Ishida and Wachs, knew little about Korea while growing up. Parents of that generation were advised to assimilate their children into Western culture, a marked change from the parents of today, who are increasingly teaching them to embrace their ethnic and racial heritage. One of the greatest obstacles adoptees face is their inability to speak Korean. “We are trying to explain something extremely complicated to people, yet (we’re) handicapped without the tools for communication — all while trying
to grapple with feelings of rejection and trying to identify with the people who were agents (or victims) of a difficult history, so we can make peace,” says Leith. Leith thinks Koreans are sometimes hesitant to accept adoptees because they don’t know how to categorize them. “Our presence can bring to the surface conflicted feelings about public pasts and private events which were traumatic for them — feelings most have worked hard at repressing,” she says. “Koreans sometimes feel a lot of guilt over our involuntary exile, as they continue to send babies away for adoption as a method of saving social status after moral transgressions.” Leith says this can be very alienating. “Many visiting adoptees are in the midst of a really harrowing existential identity exploration.” Like many adoptees, Ishida is not comfortable with her identity. “I didn’t have an identity, but they gave it to me at an orphanage,” she says, referring to her first arrival as a nameless infant. Ishida’s adoptive mother gave her a biblical first name and she inherited her Japanese father’s family name. Her name is both Western and Eastern, which continually raises questions about her ethnicity and nationality. “I have nothing else to call myself since my Korean name was given to me by a nameless, faceless social worker,” she says.
Searches around the globe Before regulations were strengthened, agencies’ speedy adoptions assumed that the children would never return to search as adults, and that the relinquished children would be forgotten. In consequence, contact between child and parent years later is often impossible. If the child was abandoned, as is presumed in Ishida and Leith’s cases, searches are even more difficult. Adoptees outside of Korea usually begin their search by contacting the local branch of their adoption agency. These private companies often charge high fees for the release of any documents. When Wachs reached out to Catholic Community Services, “they wanted to charge me over $300 to try and get ‘potential’ information,” she says. Leith has seen many adoptees get charged hundreds of dollars to access photocopies of their files which, for the most part, contain only the documents needed to make them legally adoptable in the country they were sent to. “So even if you pay money to your local adoption agency, you might not get all of your records,” she says, noting that international agencies don’t always hold all the documents because they are merely distributors for the state-supported agencies that are licensed to facilitate international adoptions. Holt has admitted that its birth searches, es-
36 www.groovekorea.com / September 2014