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On Faith Feature
The Scandal of Our Society The Entryway to Character, Meaning, and Joy Cannot be Purchased
By Marek P. Zabriskie
In 2000, David Brooks, who is one of the most astute social cr itics of ou r time, w rote a wonderful book called Bobos in Paradise: The New Upper Class and How They Got There. Brooks understands that real values are often acquired through personal setback, failure and loss. He chronicled the transformation of the wealthy, privileged class from the 1960s until 2000. Brooks described how American society was on the brink of becoming a bourgeois culture by the end of the 1950s. Then the 1960s and 70s unleashed a radical bohemian culture of nonconformist hippies
who rebelled against institutions of a l l k i nd s – u n iver sit ie s , churches, clubs, etc. Between the 1980s and 2000, our society i nte g r ate d a s p e c t s o f b o t h the bourgeois and bohemian cultures producing what Brooks called “bobos” – part bourgeois, part bohemian. One turning point occurred when the President of Harvard, who feared that our society was becoming a plutocracy, took action. Upon seeing wave upon wave of wealthy legacy students admitted to the university, he asked a gifted math professor to devise an admissions test. This exam became the basis for the SAT, which for decades has leveled the playing f ield for students seeking to enroll in college. Suddenly, someone growing up in Paduka, Illinois had as much chance of being accepted to Harvard as a scion of a wealthy legacy family. This was a game changer as one college after another followed Harvard’s lead. The play ing f ield was now more level. We had moved from a plutocracy to a meritocracy, or so it seemed. Whatever happened, we are
no longer there. The plutocracy has reasserted itself, and top colleges and universities and p a r e nt s , fe a r i n g t h at t h e i r children will be left behind if they are not accepted into elite centers of higher education, are all playing their part. Many elite secondary schools add to this culture by fostering a “keeping up with the Jones” mentality to education, whereby if a competing school gets a turf field, they in turn must construct two turf fields. If another school builds a new science center, they must construct an arts center for the ages. It’s like an arms race. Parents hurl money at these schools in hopes of ensuring their children are on the right path to success. These parents are increasingly buying into a false def in ition of what it mea ns to be a successful individual in society as they abide by a fear that the gate to success is getting narrower all the time. Meanwhile, faith institutions and other vital areas of society that work to build virtue and craft character are pushed to the sidelines by parents obsessed with helping their children build
resumes and obtain all the right tickets for college entry. Values don’t seem to matter. Success is what counts. Are athletics and acceptance truly the markers of success? Parents may go through the motions of exposing their children to religion and values, while actually obsessing about false ideas of success and achievement. The recent college admissions scandal is a clear case in point. Parents willing to do anything to ensure that their sons and daughters succeed, cheated, bribed coaches and test takers for hire, and built phony resumes to get their children access to places that they did not merit on their own. What are we modeling? What are we teaching our children? Colleges seem complicit, too happy to play along. One Ivy League President, about whom a concerned parent told me, flew to Boston to meet with a group of financially successful graduates who desired to see their children admitted to their alma mater. The university President explained that in exchange for a $1 million gift to the university,
their sons and daughters would receive “a look,” which is more than most applicants receive. It was not a promise of entry. That reportedly cost $5 million. The parents who swallowed this bait were invited to visit the university and tour its molecular science and neurobiology labs and other facilities, which were showcased like a portfolio of opportunities in which to invest their million dollar gift to ensure that their child received “a look.” Such colleges and universities are gaming the system and are part of the problem. Enter a group of parents who are deal-makers. They want more than "a look" for less cost. They want a guarantee. They are willing to bribe a coach for $200,000 or pay $50,000 to a consultant to hire someone to modify test results for their child to ensure entrance through the narrow door. These snowplow parents are willing to savage all integrity for their children. In a way, they are merely looking for a shortcut to what elite institutions are ready to sell for a much higher price. W h at h ap p e n s w h e n ou r children jump all the hurdles
and pass through all the wickets by cheating and steal someone else’s rightful place in an effort to win at all costs? We create a culture where values and character count for nothing. We produce children who have all the right tickets but no character. No inner life. No virtue. No self-worth. No ability to meet failure, setback and loss. There is a counselor in Greenwich who specializes in counseling seemingly successful young people in their 20s and 3 0 s who h ave no ide a why they are doing what they are doing because, in spite of their material success, their lives feel meaningless. One can only game the system for so long without paying a terrible price. When Jesus said, “Strive to enter by the narrow door,” he did not mean “buy your entry.” The entryway to character, meaning and joy is not for sale. It comes through a mixture of hard work, sacrifice, integrity, compassion, and grace. It cannot be purchased. The Rev. Marek P. Zabriskie, is the Rector of Christ Church.
Worship & Events Calendar
ASSEMBLIES OF GOD
Harvest Time Church 1338 King St., 203-531-7778 www.htchurch.com
Service: Sun 9 & 11am; Wed 7pm - Family Life Night. Spanish: Thur & Sat 7:30pm; Sun 4pm. Sunday School, 10:30-11:15am. Service BAPTIST First Baptist Church 10 Northfield St.; 203-869-7988 www.firstbaptistgreenwich.com
Sun: Service 11am, School 10am. Wed: Bible Study 7:30pm. Greenwich Baptist Church 10 Indian Rock Ln; 203-869-2807 www.greenwichbaptist.org
Sun: Prayer in chapel 9:15-9:30am; Bible Study, 9:30am; Worship 11am. Wed: Prayer & Bible Study 7-8:15pm. Every first Sat. of the month: Men’s Bible Study and Breakfast, 8-9:30am. CATHOLIC Sacred Heart Church 95 Henry St.; 203-531-8730
Mass: Mon-Fri 7am, Sat 4 & 5:30pm, Sun: 7:30, 9:30, 11:30am Confessions: Sat 3:30 & 5pm. St. Agnes Church Greenwich 247 Stanwich Rd.; 203-869-5396 www.stagnesrc.org
Mass: Mon 9am, Sat 4pm (Winter only), Sun: 8:30 & 10am. April 28: Coffee Hour, after the 10am Mass. St. Catherine of Siena Church 4 Riverside Ave.; 203-637-3661 www.stcath.org
Mass: Mon-Fri: 7am and 5:15pm, Sat 7am, Sun 7:30, 9, 10:30am and 5pm; Vigil: Sat 5pm; Holy Day 7am, 12:10 and 5:15pm (Vigil). Confessions Sat 3pm. Meditation Group Thu 7pm. Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, First Fri of month. Through May 16: A Journey Through Loss to Healing, 1:30-3pm, free, registration is required, call the Parish Partners Ministry at 203-637-3661 ext. 375 (to leave a message) or contact parishpartners@stcath.org. April 26: Family Fun Night, 6-8pm. St. Mary Church 178 Greenwich Ave.; 203-869-9393 www.stmarygreenwich.org
Mass: Mon-Fri 7am & 12:05pm; Sat 8am; Sun 7, 9, 10:30am, 12:15 and 5:15pm Sat Vigils: 4 and 7:30pm (Spanish). Confession: Sat 2:45-3:45. Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament Mon 11am-12pm. Walking With Purpose, Tue 9:30am. Choir Rehearsals, Thu: Children 5:30-6pm, Youth 6-7, Adults 7:30-9:15. St. Michael the Archangel 469 North St.; 203-869-5421 www.stmichaelgreenwich.com
Mass: Mon-Fri: 7:45am, 9am; Sat 9am, Vigil Mass 5pm; Sun: 7, 9, 10:30am, 12, 5pm. Bible Study: Thu 7pm. May 5: Youth Group Gathering following the 5pm Mass, 6-7:30pm. St. Timothy Chapel 1034 North St.; 203-869-5421
Mass: Sat 4pm; Sun: 9:30 & 11am.
St. Paul Church 84 Sherwood Ave. | 203-531-8741 www.stpaulgreenwich.org
Mass: Vigil Sat: 4pm; Sun: 7:30, 9:30, 11:30am; Mon to Thurs 9am. Holy Day schedule: Vigil: 5:30pm Holy Day: 9am and 12:15pm. First Friday Mass & Benediction 9am. St. Paul Volunteers in Action, Fri mornings, office@stpaulgreenwich. org or 203-531-8741. Sacrament of Reconciliation Sat 3-3:45pm or by appointment. May 3: First Friday Mass & Benediction, 9-10am. St. Roch Church 10 St. Roch Ave.; 203-869-4176 www.strochchurch.com
Mass: Mon, Tue, Frid: 7:30pm; Sat 4pm, Vigil Mass 4pm; Sun: 7:30, 9:30, 11:30am - Social Hour (immediately after 9:30 Mass). Confession: Sat 3-3:45pm. Prayer Group (Spanish) Fri 8pm. CHRISTIAN SCIENCE First Church of Christ, Scientist 11 Park Place; 203-869-2503 www.christiansciencect.org/greenwich
Service and Sun. School 10:30am Wed. Service 7:30pm. COMMUNITY First Church of Round Hill 464 Round Hill Rd.; 203-629-3876 www.firstchurchofroundhill.com
Service: Sun 10am, Communion: first Sun every month.
Round Hill Community Church 395 Round Hill Rd.; 203-869-1091 www.roundhillcommunitychurch.org
Temple Sholom 300 E. Putnam Ave.; 203-869-7191 www.templesholom.com
Service & Church School: Sun 10am (childcare available) followed by Coffee Hour; Summer Meditation Schedule: Thurs, 6:30pm. April 26: Murder Mystery in the Parlor, 6pm, church@roundhillcommunitychurch.org. April 27: RHCC Campus Spring Cleaning, 9am. April 28: The Chamber Players concert, 4pm. May 2: Round Hill Meditation Group, 6:30pm.
Service: Fri 6:30pm; Sat 10am; Sun 8:30am. Candle Lighting: Fri night. Shabbat Study: Sat 9am. Minyan: Sun 8:30am. Lunch ‘n Learn: Tue 12pm. Itsy Bitsy Playgroup: Wed 10:30am. April 28: "An Unusual Jewish Journey Out of this World" with Astronaut Dr. Jeffrey Hoffman, 3pm, register.
CONGREGATIONAL
First Lutheran Church 38 Field Point Rd.; 203-869-0032 www.flcgreenwich.org
The First Congregational Church 108 Sound Beach Ave; 203-637-1791 www.fccog.org
Regular Worship and Church School: Sun 10am in Meetinghouse. Caregivers Support Group, 1st Sun 11:15am12pm. Hats Off Book Discussion Group, Thu 10-11:30am. North Greenwich Congregational 606 Riversville Rd.; 203-869-7763 www. northgreenwichchurch.org
Service: Sun 10:30am. Communion first Sun of month. Second Congregational Church 139 E Putnam Ave.; 203-869-9311 www.2cc.org
Family-friendly Evensong Service, every Sat 5pm. Sun Serv: 8:30 & 10:30am. May 7: Greenwich Moms Group, 9:30am. EPISCOPAL Anglican Church of the Advent 606 Riversville Rd.; 203-861-2432 www.churchoftheadvent.org
Service: Sun 9am Holy Eucharist. Sunday School.
Christ Church Greenwich 254 E. Putnam Ave.; 203-869-6600 www.christchurchgreenwich.org
Sunday Worship - April 14-May 10: Holy Eucharist, Rite 2, 8am; Holy Eucharist, Rite 2, 9am; Holy Eucharist, Rite 1, 11am; Compline & Commuion, 5pm. Sunday Educational Offerings: Exploration Series, Youth Formation & Church School, 10:10am. Tue: Holy Eucharist, 10am. May 2: Spring Homecoming Eucharist, 11am-12pm, jtredinnick@ christchurchgreenwich.org; Spring Homecoming Luncheon, 12pm. May 3: First Friday Youth Gathering, 7-9pm, ljohnson@christchurchgreenwich.org. May 5: Courage and Faith: Fr. Gregory Boyle, 10:10-11am, jtredinnick@christchurchgreenwich.org. St. Barnabas Episcopal Church 954 Lake Ave.; 203-661-5526 www.stbarnabasgreenwich.org
Sun: Holy Eucharist Rite I 8am, Holy Eucharist Rite II, 10am; Worship, Church School & Nursery 10am. Serve dinner at Pacific House, 4th Tue of the month, 5:30pm. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church 200 Riverside Ave.; 203-637-2447 www.stpaulsriverside.org
Service: Sun: Holy Eucharist, 8am; Christian Education Formation (Sunday School), 10; Holy Eucharist, 10:15; Coffee Hour, 11:30. April 27: Spring Fling Auction Fundraiser, 5:30pm, Riverside Yacht Club, RSVP. St. Saviour’s Episcopal Church 350 Sound Beach Ave; 203-637-2262 www.saintsaviours.org
Sun: Rite I Eucharistic Service, 8am. Rite II Eucharistic Service, 10am. School and childcare offered. JEWISH Chabad Lubavitch of Greenwich 75 Mason St.; 203-629-9059 www.chabadgreenwich.org
Shabbat Prayer, Study and Kiddush, Chassidic Philosophy 8:45am, Sat 9:30am; Torah reading and discussions 10:30am; Youth Services 11am. Women’s Torah Study, Wed 9:30am. Congregation Shir Ami One W. Putnam Ave; 203-274-5376 www.congregationshirami.org
Shir Ami Religious grades K-6, Tues, 4-6pm, B’nai Mitzvah Classes; Shabbat Services two Fridays a month. Greenwich Reform Synagogue 92 Orchard St.; 203-629-0018 www.grs.org
Shabbat services, Fri 7pm. Adult Jewish Learning, Sun 10am. Religious school, Sun 9-11:30am. Introduction to Judaism, Tue 7pm. Through Dec. 21: ‘Baby & Me’ program, 11am-12pm.
LUTHERAN
Service: Sun 10:30am followed by coffee and fellowship. Wed: education ages 3.5 & up 2:30-5:15pm at St. Paul Lutheran. St. Paul Evangelical Lutheran 286 Delavan Ave.; 203-531-8466
Service: Sun 9am, Bible Study 10:30.
METHODIST Diamond Hill United Methodist 521 E. Putnam Ave.; 203-869-2395 www.diamondhillumc.com
Worship & Sunday School: 10am.
First United Methodist Church 59 E. Putnam Ave.; 203-629-9584 www.fumcgreenwich.com
Sun 10:30am with childcare.
Bethel African Methodist Episcopal 42 Lake Ave.; 203-661-3099
Service: Sun 11am Bible Study: Wed. 6pm.
NONDENOMINATIONAL Dingletown Community Church 376 Stanwich Rd.; 203-629-5923 www.dingletownchurch.org
Service & Sunday School: Sundays 10:30am followed by coffee hour. Holy Communion: first Sun of each month. Sunday School 11am. Revive Church Old Greenwich Civic Center www.myrevive.org
Service: Sun. 10am. Childcare and children’s ministry.
Stanwich Church 202 Taconic Rd.; 203-661-4420 www.stanwichchurch.org
Sunday: Greenwich Campus, 9 & 10:45am, 202 Taconic Rd; Stamford Campus, 6pm, 579 Pacific St, Stamford. Sept. 9 June 2, 9 and 10:45am, Greenwich campus; 6pm, Stamford. April 26: Student Ministry Small Group, 7-9pm. April 27: Parenting Seminar w/ David Thomas and Sissy Goff, 9am2pm; Stamford Southend Greenday & BBQ, 9am-12pm, Atlantic Street, Stamford; College Students Movie Night, 7-9pm, 484 Pacific St., Stamford. The Albertson Memorial Church 293 Sound Beach Ave; 203-637-4615 www.albertsonchurch.org
Worship Sun: 11-12:30pm.
Trinity Church 1 River Rd.; 203-618-0808 www.trinitychurch.life
Worship: Sun 9:15 & 11am, Greenwich Hyatt Regency, 1800 E. Putnam Ave. PRESBYTERIAN First Presbyterian Church 1 W. Putnam Ave.; 203-869-8686 www.fpcg.org
Worship Sun: 10am with childcare, Chapel, 5pm (new); Children’s Mini-Chapel 10:15am. Food for the Table 2nd Thurs 3-5pm; Shelter for the Homeless 2nd Thurs 5:30-7pm. Grace Church of Greenwich 8 Sound Shore Dr, Suite 280 203-861-7555 www.gracechurchgreenwich.com
Worship Sun: 8:45 & 10:45am at 89 Maple Ave.; childcare. Living Hope Community Church 38 West End Ave; 203-637-3669 www.LivingHopeCT.org
Worship Sun: 10am. Bible study: Mon 7:15-9pm. Women’s Bible Study Tue 9:30-11:30am. Mothers of Preschoolers 1st/3rd Wed of month 9:15-11:45am. Bibles & Bagels Sat 7:30-8:30am. May 4: World Vision Storehouse - head to the South Bronx and help stock shelves, 9:10am-3pm.