Best Prom Dress Ideas

Earth’s content, you’ll be smokin’!

Elizabeth Rosen Section Editor

Guys - Did you know prom’s just past? Crazy, right? While I, myself, am a puny grade 11 who was not invited but, I realize those of you that have been may be struggling to get all your ducks in a row. Not to worry, because while it may already be June, there’s still time to put together a memorable fit, with my help, a neutral 2nd party with absolutely no ulterior motives. I have already done you the courtesy of putting together just five of my best ideas (out of the millions). And I know what you’re thinking: another list? When will Graffiti writers stop milking this awfully simple format for humour which at this point blends all correlating articles together?’ And to that I say… whoopsies! The word limit is coming up!

NUMBER 1: The every-promdress prom dress

Senior prom only happens once, so you better get it right. This dress alleviates decision anxiety while making all your wildest fascinations a reality. If you think a Starbucks drink is customizable, you ain’t seen nothing yet! Can’t choose between a turtleneck and decolletage? This dress has a neckline plunging like Niagara Falls and a detachable neck cozy fit for royalty. Mermaid dress? Short skirt? What’s the difference? Do half and half! It comes with a cape! It comes with a scarf! It comes with tiny shoes for each of your toes and fingers so you get to wear twenty half-pairs of shoes! You want it all? You got it all.

NUMBER 2: The 80s prom dress

Staple? Classic? You’re not wrong, but I doubt you know the way in which you’re right. The key here is, the farther back, the better. 1980s? You did not understand the assignment. Have fun twinning with half the grade. 1880s? You’re getting there. It’s a pass. 1680s? This is more our speed! Flaunt that crinoline and those watermelon-sized sleeves! 1180s? You’re glowing, you’re stunning, you’re as ravenous as the plague! 80 BCE? Stands for beyond comparable elegance. Year 80 of the Earth’s existence? Go as a molten magma that made up most of the

NUMBER 3: It’s. A. Boat. If Marie Antionette can turn her hair into boat, you can be boat. What a beau(t).

NUMBER 4: SPEAKING OF HAIR-

Big hair, or big dress: the ageold prom conundrum. Well now you’ll never have to choose! Your dress shall be made of hair, and your hair shall be made of dress! This one is such a cute DIY project. Firstly, get an old doll’s dress and put it upside down on your head, making sure to stuff all your hair inside the dress! Look at you! You’re half done! Next, you want to gather up all your friends whose locks you’ve always secretly envied and gather them in a basement to “watch a movie”. As their eyes will be glued to the screen, mesmerised by Cars 2, you will get up from the couch, say you’re grabbing snacks, but sneak behind all of them with a razor and shave their heads behind their backs. They won’t even notice until McQueen wins (sorry for the spoiler). Once your former friend group has turned into a band of Mr. Cleans, usher them out of your abode and begin designing with your fresh harvest of material.

That pinterest dress? You know the one. It’s been your unmatched desire and your waking nightmare. If only Thailand could ship sooner and you had that $50,000 to spend! Well fear no more impatient peasant! All you have to do to make your prom dress dreams come true is take one large board of bristol and slap on a print-out of your pinterest prom dress picture. Hang that board around your neck with pride, after all, it was everything you ever wanted. For those of you that did, however, get a hold of your ever-after dress this option works just as well, if not better. Just wear it underneath your bristol board and fling then fling it off for your great reveal! I may try this myself someday.