The Second Floor of the Auditorium

What secrets lie beyond the stairs?

Lola Urosevic Copy Editor

My job before each assembly of this year has been to make sure the frst foor of the auditorium is full before letting students onto the second foor. However, each time I have found myself in the same situation. People request, nay, demand to go on the second foor. Some people are disappointed when I tell them no, some try to convince me that the frst foor is full, some try to sneak past me, and some try to just run past me without even an attempt at stealth. After the many times other stage crew members and I have dealt with this, we began to wonder, what is so special about the second foor? What’s so amazing up there that the poor soul in stage crew placed at the bottom of the stairs deserves to be tossed around like a pinball? To try to solve this mystery, we (members of the stage crew) have cultivated our top fve theories, from least to most likely, in an effort to understand the student body and their constant obsession with the second foor of the auditorium.

5. Illusion of not being under surveillance

For those that like to think outside of the box, this one is for you. Students think they can be on their phones and not pay as much attention if they’re on the second foor, even though there are teachers who monitor it. This option is incredibly unlikely, near impossible, but I decided to include this outlandish theory just to cover all bases.

4. People feel godly.

What can I say? Being on the second foor allows students to feel like fearless leaders that look down at us with all their power. They need to feel superior to those around them and establish dominance.

3. There’s a working, clean bathroom up there.

I can understand the desire to race up to the second foor if this is the case. I mean, a functioning bathroom that hasn’t been destroyed for no reason? At NT? A true hidden gem that has to be taken advantage of.

2. Mr. Hobson is on the second foor.

This is almost certainly the reason. Why else would people constantly want to run up to the second foor? Of course, they all just want to hang out with him and have a good time during assemblies.

1. The Lost City of Atlantis. There’s simply no other explanation that makes as much sense. The city, while being sunk into the depths of the sea, managed to make it to the second foor of the auditorium. The daring explorers of our school have an obligation to salvage this city, to rescue it from the depths of history. This is pretty much tied with the #2 theory. It would probably be even better if they were combined, and Mr. Hobson actually left to go look for Atlantis on the second foor of the auditorium, and that’s how he ended up there. That’s ridiculous though. There’s no way. Wait…I mean, he is a history teacher. He left with no warning and we haven’t seen him since. We’ve even spoken about Atlantis in history class. It’s all connected. But that’sno…it can’t be. That’s just crazy, or is it? It has to be the answer. With this new information, I think it’s safe to say that the stage crew and I now fully understand the motivations behind the students who must be on the second foor during assemblies. Carry on brave explorers, and say hi to Mr. Hobson while you’re there.