Ed. 86 - Fail

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Published monthly, The Talon strives to be an innovative student magazine that is entertaining, intellectually provocative, and visually engaging. We are conscious of the responsibility of writing and publishing, and we seek to create a dynamic magazine that is worthy of its readers. We show respect for our readers by exposing them to a variety of perspectives.

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About the Cover

EDITORS-IN-CHIEF: Andrea Estrada & Artur Renault LAYOUT EDITOR: Isabella Zevallos NEWS: Yana Ahlden (Editor), Courtney Villeneuve (Assistant Editor), Daniel Almeida, Mendel Schwarz FEATURES: Ho Jun Yang (Editor), Adam Hunt Fertig (Assistant Editor), Mariana Lepecki, Lucas Zuccolo ENTERTAINMENT: Julia Wu (Editor), Ines Gil (Assistant Editor), Kevin Bengtsson, Yasmin Della Nina SPORTS: Kyle Bissell (Editor), Kevin Wolfson (Assistant Editor),

In this cover, I attempted to incorporate fails from different media in one cover. The off-set print in the word “FAIL,” the television static in the background, the crossed-off month, the error message, and the tomatoes (like the ones thrown at bad performers) are all included. The diversity of color also makes the cover a bit tacky, which adds to the overall fail effect. You may also notice that we incorporated failures in the layout’s section headings.

—Artur Renault

Next? And After That?

Next month we publish Blank Slate. After that, we celebrate the junior class. HA! No. That would be yet another FAIL. The edition after Blank Slate is actually the annual Senior edition; however, as always, non-seniors are welcome to contribute.

All articles for the Senior edition are due Monday, April 9, 16:00. Article length should be around 800 words with an image (JPEG attachment) or 900 words without an image. Submit to talon@graded.br.

Andrea Ferreira, Rafa Rocha COLUMNISTS: Maria Alas, Carol Di Roberto, Julia Abreu BLOGGERS: Paty Kim & Camille Saliba PHOTOGRAPHER: Nicole Vladimirschi ▪ ▪ ▪ TEACHER ADVISORS: Josh Berg & Mary Pfeiffer PORTUGUESE LANGUAGE CONSULTANT: Maggie Moraes ▪ ▪ ▪ E-mail: talon@graded.br Blog: http://tal-on-line.blogspot.com

We Want You At the end of this edition you will find the form and instructions for applying to be a member of the 2012-2013 Talon staff. All applications are due Monday, April 16, by 16:00. If you have any questions, please see Andrea/Panda, Artur, Mr. Berg or Ms. Pfeiffer. The new staff will publish their first edition—and our last edition of the year—in the first week of June. The theme for that edition is “Animal Vegetable Mineral.”

We be green: Since August 2007, The Talon has been printed on recycled paper. Reduce, reuse, recycle!

editers-in-chief

Holiday Gatherings I already ate, thank you Andrea Estrada

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n my experience December “vacation” is a paradox. It is, in theory, a few weeks off from school or work to enjoy festivities and the celebration of a new year. But, as opposed to my June-July vacation, December is not really a time to rest.

December is not a time in which I control what I make of my time.

Instead, every day holds a busy schedule containing several gatherings to keep me occupied.

I used to think December was only busy for my family because going back home to people that miss me—a significantly large extended family and friends that I only see once a year—gets me tied to several commitments in the little time I have there. But in the past years I’ve realized from talking to people who live there all year round that December simply is a time for desayunos (breakfasts), brunches (brunches), almuerzos (lunches), refacciónes (afternoon tea and snacks), cafecitos (afternoon coffees), heladitos (afternoon ice creams), cenas (dinners), and convivios (gatherings) whether you’ve been missed throughout the year or not.

These events all have one thing in common—food.

Good food. Really really really good food. I could argue my year would not be fulfilled if it did not end with the delicious brownies, cookies, turkey, stuffing, tamales, champurradas, grandma’s soup, Hershey kisses, nachos with guacamole and beans, turkey leftover sandwiches, and so on. However, therein also lies the problem: it is too much.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it really is an absurd situation—an absurd amount of food and an absurd urge people have to stuff it down our throats at all costs. I must admit part of the overconsumption is because the food truly is tempting and gluttony tends to permeate the holiday season, but no matter how good the food is or how careless one is over vacation, it is still too much food.

The problem is that there is food wherever we go, and it would seem rude not to accept any. After all, people spend money, time, and care in making these treats available for their guests—a simple act of love and gratitude for the holiday spirit—and refusing it implies we either disregard their investment or we’re on a diet. Which, in the case of skinny people like myself, is especially infuriating because we are most likely not on a diet, but for some reason people still seem to think we are.

Typical December 23. I wake up and have yogurt,

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waffles, and possibly warm bread with frijoles and cream cheese. I go to an aunt’s house before lunch to pick something up with my mom and, guess what? There are fresh baked brownies in the kitchen, so I have some. I go to lunch at my grandma’s and she made my favorite spaghetti and mini-toasts with spinach and parmesan cheese, so I eat a significant amount. By now my body is aware it is at its limit, but there’s coffee ice cream from POPS, my favorite flavor and brand, so I must make some room for dessert. In a rush, I’m already leaving to meet my friends for coffee before going to my godparents’ house for a refacción.Frapuccinos are my weakness, so of course I order one, About.com with whipped cream and caramel.

Then I head to my next get-together, and that’s when it starts. My godmother (or whoever happens to be the host on this particular day) offers me cookies or some of her favorite lemon pie, and I refuse it.

“Have some! They’re delicious.”

“I already ate, thank you.”

“Oh please! Just have some cookies at least, you’re so skinny.”

“No, really, I’ve been eating all day and I still have a dinner after this. I’m sorry, they do look amazing.”

“Just have one, it won’t hurt you.”

This frustrates me to the point that the only way to calm myself is to indulge in the pleasure of having one of those dark chocolate cookies that call to me. Yes, I already ate. No, I am not anorexic, I do not think I am fat. But of course, the thought of dark chocolate and the need to prove to people that I really am not on a diet take over me. But as I swallow that cookie I know it is unnecessary.

I physically cannot take it. It really isn’t a concern about gaining weight; it is a concern with the discomfort that stuffing yourself with food brings. It just isn’t pleasant. But I go on to my dinner commitment and I eat a little bit more, because my dear aunt spent money and time and love in making all this food.

Wherever I go, I continue saying “I already ate, thank you,” but wherever I go the force of holiday gatherings is stronger than my will to refuse food. Tomorrow I will be moderate, but tomorrow, like December 23, FAILS.

editers-in-chief

#firstworldproblems Or why the line at Starbucks can be worse than famine Artur Renault

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acebook keeps distracting you from your math homework; you can’t find your remote control; your smartphone doesn’t run flash; the IB doesn’t let you have a social life.

These may be issues you face every day, and they probably bother you. But you’ll probably agree that the facts that you have Facebook, a remote control, a smartphone, and get to take the IB are pretty good. These problems are certainly less significant than famine, malaria, violence, and poverty.

So why do they bother us so much? That’s because they are first-world problems.

First-world problems are an Internet meme that started last year. Essentially, the meme intends to diminish and mock the everyday annoyances that we complain about, either by putting the message over a picture of a crying woman or by tweeting it with the hashtag #firstworldproblems.

The biggest flaw in this idea is that the “first world” hasn’t actually existed since the end of the Cold War. This is because that classification was originally based on countries’ economic ideology (i.e., the first world was the United States and its allies, the second was the Soviet Union, China and their allies, and the third was comprised of neutral countries) and not their wealth. This explains, for example, why Namibia is a part of the first world and the UAE is part of the third. Today, the more politically correct distinction is that between developed, developing, and underdeveloped nations.

This is, however, irrelevant. First-world problems are not about the economic state of the country you live in. They say much more about human nature.

They show, for example, how ungrateful people are.

We don’t think of or appreciate the valuable things we are fortunate to have in our lives. For example, we always complain about airplane food, airplane seats, and airplane delays.

We completely forget the mind-blowing fact we are witnessing the miracle of human flight; sitting in a giant metal bird, miles above ground level, traveling across the world in just a few hours. And when Google takes more than five seconds to load, we get mad at it forgetting that fifteen years ago we would have spent hours in a library trying to find the same piece of information. This shows how quickly we take things for granted. Soon after something new and amazing is invented, it becomes common and necessary, making us forget just how incredible it is.

But it also shows how selfish we are. Instead of stopping—or at least worrying about—the AIDS epidemic, world hunger, and genocide, we prefer to focus on less distant problems.

Our own “needs” supersede the real needs of others, and we are

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trapped in the first level of a new, twisted version of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (a theory that states we cannot reach more abstract human needs without first fulfilling the fundamental ones). But this is understandable; our immediate problems are much easier to solve than the big problems that others face.

Still, it sounds wrong to complain about minor concerns when others have to worry about food and sanitation every day.

Yet there is one intrinsically positive aspect of firstworld problems. Since we are programmed to reevaluate our problems as new improvements appear, we are also programmed for constant betterment of our society. Our small dissatisfactions lead us to search for solutions. Imagine if the situation were reversed: if we, instead of becoming dissatisfied with the good things that we have, became accustomed to the bad things? Our lives would continually get worse. We’d start by accepting slow Internet connections, then traffic, and finally disease and hunger. And all society would simply deteriorate until there was little left.

Perhaps this is a little dramatic, but it’s the logical conclusion. First-world problems may be a first-world problem in themselves—we see them as futile, useless complaints about insignificant things, but really they are a huge blessing. They are our way of encouraging a continually developing society.

They may distract us from bigger problems plaguing our world, but maybe the solution to those lies in our solving the smaller ones—we’ll be better at solving complex issues if small ones do not bother us. So stop worrying about your freezer making your ice cream hard to scoop, Megavideo being shut down, and how annoying the new Justin Bieber song is: go find first world solutions.

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editers-in-chief

The Talon Top Ten #firstworldproblemsatGraded Artur Renault & Andrea Estrada * Note: Refer to page 3

person right next to you?

1. You have 10 minutes to print something on Graded’s computer system.

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You did that homework assignment last night, but your printer didn’t work so you decided to print it during the break before class. But when it’s 9:44 and you’re not logged in yet you realize you forgot an important detail: our computer system is steam-powered. It takes twenty minutes to print that page you wrote last night, making the task impossible for any break and dooming your grade for that assignment to a zero.

2. You’re starving and the snack bar line is full.

You were up until 3 am doing homework so this morning you treasured those extra 20 minutes of sleep over breakfast. But by 9:30 your stomach is already grumbling and you’re feeling lightheaded—you need food. Unfortunately, the snack bar line is eternal and kids with an assumed air of superiority cut the line—nobody stops them. You wait and wait but it’s already 9:45 and you have a quiz next class, so being late is out of the question. There you go, heading back to another 80 minutes of hunger.

3. You wait in line at the cafeteria only to find out that there’s no more food We’re all excited about lunchtime, which is why half of the high school will get to the cafeteria line before you do. It’s okay, though: everybody will get food. Unless, of course, Murphy’s Law acts up and the person in front of you gets the last piece of lasagna. Then you are stuck holding a plate waiting for the food to be re-stocked while the entire cafeteria seems to mock you with their full plates. The few minutes of waiting seem like an eternity—but they're justified by the delicious food in the end.

4. You find out too late it’s not study hall.

It’s midnight on a Sunday and you’ve finished all your homework except for some math problems that will take you about twenty minutes to do. It’s for last block; Monday is study hall, right? Yes, Monday is always study hall. So you can do it tomorrow. It’ll be fine. But at lunch you find out there’s a meeting with your advisor. Why didn’t you do the homework last night? You really should have checked the Docket.

5. The device you use to take notes does too many fun things.

Paper is becoming more and more obsolete in our school: classes are now full of people using laptops and iPads to take notes. But these new devices have one indisputable disadvantage over paper: they are extremely distracting. Why would you take notes on the Russian Revolution when you could be playing Angry Birds or Facebook chatting with the

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Your break is ruined by homework.

You’re excited about traveling for Carnaval or winter or summer break. You’ll finally get the rest you’ve been waiting for; you’ll just chill without worrying about work, right?

Wrong. At least according to your teachers, who decide to assign you a world of tasks and projects to get done over your “break.” So you have to take hours off of your beach time to annotate and do math.

7. It’s raining and your car is on the other side of the parking lot.

We know to expect rain in December, January, and February (or any month for that matter, being in São Paulo), but for some reason Graded’s architects disregarded this little detail. You’re carrying books, a laptop, your hair looks nice for once, but your car or bus is across the parking lot, and it is pouring yet again. Goodbye pretty hair, good luck laptop, and good shower for you.

8. You’re thirsty in the Arts Center but you forgot your water bottle and there are no plastic cups anymore.

Today you happened to forget your water bottle in the rush of leaving your house. This usually wouldn’t be too much a problem seeing as you could buy water in the snack bar or drink from the water fountains. But the snack bar no longer sells water and you have Photo and your English oral exam in the Arts Center where there are no water fountains, just a water cooler without cups. Parched for your exam, you suffer through the nerves and the thirst, wondering just how "environmentally friendly" you can be.

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The power goes out in the most inconvenient of moments.

You spend weeks planning PGC Family Night— auditorium, projector, and classrooms are all set to go—and in the process of sharing food over chitchat with the parent and freshie guests, the power goes out. Oops, time to plan everything over in ten minutes. No need to panic at all. Or, you are the hardworking Talon Layout Editor and you stay at school until 8 pm on a Thursday night, getting all articles set for the final edit when the power goes out. No need to panic at all.

10. Afternoon storms ruin your practice.

It’s a beautiful day and you’re excited for softball or soccer, but at 4:15 heavy clouds close in and suddenly you’re not so excited. Forget about the rain, the problem is the lightning that keeps you off the field for safety precautions.

Your coaches try to arrange for an indoor practice, but either most gyms are taken by indoor sports or, when they’re not, you’re forced to practice barefoot—no cleats allowed inside.

point of you

Ethical Failure

The new way to get into college Maria Alas

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aving a child study in the towers of the Ivies is any parent’s dream, but — naturally — not all parents have kids that will be accepted. So in order to make their dreams come true, parents and students have figured out a way to make their applications surpass their expected achievements. According to the Center for Disease Control, there has been a twenty–two percent increase in the number of children with a parent-reported ADHD diagnosis from 2003 to 2007. That’s a million more kids in five years, a number that can be interpreted as one in ten students. This wouldn’t be an issue beyond the medical world if it hadn’t been discovered to be faked by those million “victims.”

ADHD, a disorder which makes sustaining attention difficult, is not very hard to feign. As one student who was able to get himself diagnosed puts it, “The ADHD diagnosis, and the benefits that came with it helped me beat the competition.”

How did he do it? By purposely failing tests and getting written evaluations from teachers and parents. Although there are a number of schools that accept parent-reported diagnosis as credible, not all have, and they shouldn’t. A growing number of parents have deviously decided to label their child as diagnosed so they can receive extra time on school tests, assignments and SATs/ACTs—and in some institutions it is as easy as telling school directors, guidance counselors and teachers that their child has the condition.

Yet a study at the University of Kentucky proved that Googling the signs to display during an ADHD exam will make you appear to have the disorder as those kids who actually have it, facilitating the process to get a legitimate doctor’s order to show schools and universities who may suspect a false report. Pediatrician and neuropsychologist Janine Pollack has developed a method that makes the test difficult to pass. Her numerous tests can take up to ten hours, and costs about 4,000 US dollars, which would obviously decrease the number of parents going to her to fake their child’s diagnosis. Unfortunately, not all pediatricians have the ability to willingly

place their patients under those conditions, and schools accepting parent-diagnosis still exist, so many students are still getting the “benefits that help them beat the competition.”

Kids with the ADHD disorder are given extra time on tests and assignments with the purpose to level out their ability to complete those tasks with the ability of their classmates; kids that fake the disorder are given extra time and an extra benefit.

It is not a mystery that if we were all given an extra hour on our tests we would get better grades, and I imagine that if we had an extra three hours to take our SATs our scores would improve significantly. In addition, there are “neuroenhancers” that come along with the diagnosis, such as Adderall and Ritalin (read Brain Gain, an article in the New Yorker by Margaret Talbot, if you’re looking for another provocative debate). And the “benefits” are even furthered because college admissions counselors are not always told which applicants have the disorder, for doing so would be considered discrimination and rightly so. Parents and students have found a process that has taken into consideration the ethics of informing institutions of certain disorders, and they have manipulated it. Admissions counselors may receive an application with high grades, great SAT and ACT scores and teacher recommendations, without being aware of the lack of ethics of the student they are admitting into their school.

Although the question of morality involved in this is not one we deal with at Graded, the issue in its entirety is one that should concern us. At the beginning of every school year, seniors begin their applications, a process which most likely started with SAT and ACT tests during their junior year and, to put it simply, it is not fair game if there are students out there who play a part in this ADHD diagnosis scheme. That aspect of it is enraging, but as a second-semester senior, it is not what caused my repulsion as I read the article on The Daily Beast. I could not help but think about the fact that come August, I will become a part of a new community, that I will grow to think of as home, and there will be someone who decided a college acceptance was worth more than a lack of apcleptest.com ethics.

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point of you

The Moodie Foodie Worst cooks and an Editor-in-Chief

Carolina Di Roberto

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ver since 2009, I’ve been hooked on a show called Worst Cooks in America. If you know me, you are most probably aware of my addiction to the Food Network. I can spend all day watching it without getting bored—while it makes my family want to murder me because of the cravings that come along with watching it. Those famous skillets, muffin tins, and Kitchen-Aid mixers are a few of the things that call my name—besides that, there’s always the handsome and beautifully talented Scott Conant, the host of 24 Hour Restaurant Battle.

Scott. Conant. He’s amazingly blunt and rude to all the contestants and chefs thrown at him, but in my opinion, he has the right to be. He’s gorgeous, flawless, and Italian. I have decided that he’s my future husband.

Putting aside my distant and non-existent love affair with Chef Scott Conant, I’ll go back to my “feelgood” show, Worst Cooks.

Two chefs, one male and the other female, host Worst Cooks in America. These hosts separate contestants into groups of around five people—these will compete against each other until one team wins. Each episode, one person is eliminated.

The host of the winning team comes back for another season.

Anne Burrell, the culinary love of my life, has won both seasons of the show. Now, she is up against another chef, the famous Iron Chef Bobby Flay.

In every way, this show represents “fails” in the kitchen. Each contestant starts out with the least bit of knowledge in the kitchen. They burn pans, mix avocado with chocolate, use way too much salt, and somehow manage to do everything wrong. I love it. Each episode I cry my eyes out from excessive laughter.

However many episodes there are in the season, the first episode is always my favorite, just like for American Idol.”You get to see everything that goes wrong in the kitchen, literally. All these incapable chefs are somehow capable of thinking that mixing Nutella and salt is a good combination.

Though ridiculous, it’s extremely fulfilling. Because even being a somewhat okay cook, you feel like Paula Deen, Rachael Ray, or even Emeril after watching a single episode.

My favorite thing about the show, besides the impos-

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sible maneuvers and horrid cooks, is that I can make up my own cast to put on that show. I used to think my sister would be a perfect candidate, but now, she’s her own Giada di Laurentiis (her favorite chef). Besides her (no offense to one of my lovely editors-in-chief), Artur Upton Renault definitely comes to mind. Countless times I have face-palmed myself due to his incapabilities in the kitchen.

Sometimes it seems that he has no flaws, and that he does everything perfectly as a future Columbia-Universityclass-of-2016 student should. But, let me tell you, he’s not so smooth in the kitchen.

The first time I ever realized this, was when Artur came to spend a week with me in Miami. One day, I planned to make gingerbread cookies. But to me, gingerbread cookies are only gingerbread cookies if they look like citypages.com perfect little ginger men. So I brought out the cookie cutters, rolled out the dough, and began cutting. Artur followed soon after.

His gingerbread men were not men. They were deformed dinosaurs that had been slaughtered alive by killer birds. I swear these cookies were twitching in place. I was not amused.

After our week in the Sunshine State, he came back to São Paulo. After another week, so did I. At that point, I was already fully recovered from our mishap in the kitchen. I was prepared to allow him to step foot into my kitchen the next time he came over.

But then came the horror of his attempt at melting chocolate.

It was a good day for me, a great day. It was a Sunday, but as I was a sophomore and not in upperclassmen hell, I was excited for Monday. Suddenly, my BlackBerry lights up.

I immediately knew it was Tutu. Whenever he messaged me, instead of having a regular red light, I had a rainbow of colors notifying me. So I opened the message.

And there it was. A black hole created by burnt chocolate. That’s right, burnt chocolate. No longer was it the buttery goodness that we expect from chocolate—it was a pile of ashes.

When he’s at Columbia, studying and partying away, I’ll vote for him to be part of “Worst Cooks in America.”

point of you

Why Be Afraid of Failing?

Tips on being easily and effortlessly successful

Julia Abreu

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he scariest part of trying to accomplish anything is to fail.

Many of us will quit just because it’s easier to let go than face failure. But what exactly is considered a failure? Is there such thing ? There must be something that holds us back from succeeding, but there are also some sneaky ways to get rid of this evil force that seems to devour us from the inside out, until we’ve failed by default, without even putting ourselves out there. Here are a few tips (to be used secretly and cautiously, of course) to relieve this burden.

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Stop punishing yourself and blame it on the world! I mean, don’t worry about what you might do wrong, because someone else out there will always be worse than you. Truth is, blaming a large body of mass such as the world, makes you feel like your failure is just a malfunction of the universe, and that it couldn’t have possibly been your fault. So next time you strain yourself over a fiasco, just yell (not really necessary, but still) at the world: “Do your job right, World! I’m trying to succeed here!” You should feel much better.

Secretly blame a person you’d rather see being deported to another planet! When you think you might fail, you bet someone who isn’t quite fond of you has got to be out there working on some voodoo ritual on you. Just be calm, and every time you pass him or her, act as if their voodoo has worked. Walk awkwardly and give them the stink eye as if you’re as much of a failure as they think they’re not.

Trust me, the stink eye always works; it’s like an automatic discharge of failure that you just can’t swallow directed right at the idiot.

Bring candy for your class and extra for your teacher before or after presenting a project! If you’re bound to fail the presentation, don’t worry; at least it won’t be as much of an embarrassment. Wondering why? Teachers, especially the ones from the United States, secretly crave American candy and chocolate! By bringing in those yummy treats, they will be so emotionally unstable from all the awesomeness that you have just contributed, that they will just willingly ignore the awful things you have done to your project. I mean, who cares about misspelled words

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or incredibly incoherent analysis, when there’s good candy you could be enjoying? It almost always works; I know what I’m saying (not that I’ve ever done it or anything). Just make sure it’s good quality, American candy, and that is appealing and colorful!

Still afraid of failing? Call your grandparents! They’ve probably lived through many interesting failures that will make you realize the unimportance of failure.

If they’ve lived to tell the story, then you’ll be fine! Honestly, the worst that can possibly happen is a little or a lot of embarrassment, which you can later laugh off. There is nothing more reassuring than to listen to an older, wiser individual talk about how they’ve survived their fear of failgawker.com ing. Make sure it’s your grandparents you’re talking to and not your parents, because parents are not much help at this point; they’ll probably send you to your room to study some more if you fear academic failure or set up play dates for you if you fear social failure.

Exclude yourself from doing something that might end up as a “FAIL” post on your friend’s Facebook wall! Reality is, many of you—admit it—will say or do something really stupid completely aware of how stupid it is. For those cases, it’s a waste to be afraid of what others will think, so just stay away from stupidity in a social arena where your friends are just waiting around for some embarassing moment to put on Facebook for everyone to laugh at.

My friend, we all know the truth about social networks; people would rather log on and see someone’s disgrace and humiliation than post their own, so just beware of your public stupidity.

You can try the tips, or not, but they work here at Graded, because we all know how afraid all of us high school students are of failing at just about everything. But if you try these tactics, and I’m sure some of you have,then you may end up that person with no failures. In the end, there’s no such thing as failing. But if you aren’t infallible, don’t worry. According to Elbert Hubbard, “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.”

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The Flood From the Sky Strikes Again Brazil’s annual inundation Yana Ahlden

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hen tourists come to Brazil, they are most likely to visit the city of Rio de Janeiro with the famous Copacabana and Ipanema beaches, and the gorgeous mountain towns that appear to come straight out of a children’s picture book. At least that’s what they looked like when recent tourists took their last pictures and left, before the water came.

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The relentless cycle of the rainy season has begun again in the state of Rio de Janeiro where mud and destruction have taken over everything from grass to homes as floodwater rushed through tiny towns, crushing nearly anything that stood in its way. So far, this year’s rain and the resulting floods are being considered “the worst natural disaster to hit Brazil in four decades” (Folha de São Paulo) since the death toll of the current mudslides is greater than the infamous 1967 mudslides, when 430 people were killed. The rain does not seem to stop (and the weather forecast gives little room for hope), thus complicating the already difficult rescue efforts in regions that have been affected, as well as increasing the risks of further mudslides.

According to Reuters the number of deaths stands at about 550, with around 10,000 homeless, but Brazilian police predicts that both of these numbers will rise more as the rain continues and rescue services reach more isolated settlements, including illegal favelas. The fact that some areas devastated by the floods have not been reached leads locals like Nelson Toledo to tell the BBC, “Many more thousands are trapped in their homes.”

The worst-hit parts of Teresópolis, such as a neighborhood where around 150 houses are believed to have been destroyed by the floods, have not been reached by rescue teams.

According to Mayor Jorge Mário, “It’s like an earthquake struck

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. . . the death toll is going to climb a lot. There are a lot of people buried who can’t get help because rescue teams can’t get there” (Reuters). Teresópolis is one of the worst affected towns. In fact the death toll there, which is approaching 185, is clearly visible outside the police stations where, according to taxi driver Vinícius Bittencourt, dozens of bodies are lined up because “there is no more space in the morgue” (Reuters).

Nearby, rescuers found people pulling bodies out of the mud, what they have been doing at this time every year.

Even though the mudslides have not yet destroyed Brazil’s main exports (soy, sugarcane, oranges, and coffee), food prices could rise severely not only in the Serrana region, but nationally, possibly increasing the existing inflation and thus increasing the gap between rich and poor. According to President Dilma Rousseff, a main cause of the unbelievably high death toll is illegal construction. Many of the neighborhoods destroyed were built in risky areas, resulting in more destruction to human life once the seasonal rain arrived. “When there are no housing policies in place, where will a person with an income of up to two minimum wages live? He will live where he is not allowed to, “ the President explained.

The effect of the yearly mudslides on illegal settlements, has been widely known. However, other than removals here or there, not much has been done to change in the housing situation of the poor in Brazil, despite the death and suffering those who live in favelas endure. Over the past years, favelas have been growing all over Brazil as the wealth-distribution divide in Brazil becomes one of the worst in the world.

The weather will not cooperate and destruction will continue. This year, the rain has even stepped up its game and devastated more land and people than before. In a twisted way, this year’s rain, flood, and mudslides should be considered a wake-up call for the Brazilian government to start fixing one of many problems facing many Brazilians: poverty. Until people start living in safe areas and are able to afford adequate housing, the death toll is going to keep rising. The rain is not going change for the better. Someone else must make that change, and right now, that someone should be President Dilma.

When Dilma visited the region, she promised a shipment of seven tons of medicine (BBC). But the people living there need more than that. They need to know that something like this will not happen again. Like it does every year.

Sources: bbc.com; cnn.com; reuters.com; latimes.com

knews

Building Success

One week of not-fail on Ilha do Cardoso Courtney Villeneuve

N

o internet. No celphone reception. No television. No computers. Almost no electricity. Billions of bugs. Crocodiles.

Crabs. The list of things that the average person would find negative about Ilha do Cardoso is exactly what made the Habitat for Humanity trip awesome. The word “fail” has no relevance to this trip, as everyone left the island with a feeling of success.

A group of eighteen students left early one Sunday morning for a week of work and warm weather in the south of Sao Paulo State. What was ahead of us? We did not know.

After hours on a bus and subsequent hours on a boat, we finally reached the community that, for a week, would be our home.

The landscape was stunning: never-ending beaches and sparkly blue water—a stereotypical image of paradise. The only thing that could have made us frown were the stacks of bricks waiting to be transformed into a building, and the bare foundation where we would build something to last generations.

Over the course of the week, we worked to build a community center that would be of great use for the people living on the island. The residents of the community are dependent on fishing and have few resources outside of what nature has given them. A new building would not only provide a large space for meetings and gatherings, but also two medical offices—one for a doctor and one for a dentist—that would be put to use as visiting professionals come to the island. As many members of the community worked with the students to make walls, it also is a symbol of unity and something to be proud of.

Each day we woke up at what seemed like an unimaginably early time for vacation, ate breakfast, and got to work. Despite an early start, the heat set in as soon as the sun rose, and many bottles of sunscreen were used as us citydwellers tried to fend off sunburns. After lunch, it was back to work. However, we found ways to make the manual labor fun and discussed everything from deep philosophy to Pokémon and Power Rangers for hours. Members of the community also pitched in, frequently showing off by laying a perfect line of bricks or shoveling sand so much faster than us.

The work that needed to be done included shoveling, moving, and sifting sand, pulling roots, evening the floors, and laying bricks. Even when it would have been easy to complain, we always found just enough energy to take one more wheelbarrow or carry one more

brick.

We did not just work hard, though. We managed to find time to swim in the ocean, observe the jellyfish, and play somewhere around 352 games of Uno. Another highlight of the trip was the frequent games of soccer and volleyball, Graded versus the locals. As one student wisely pointed out, the only advantage we had was that we could speak English to hide our plans. Even with several players from Graded’s varsity teams on our side, the locals beat us every time—and not just by a point or two. Even so, everyone carried themselves with sportsmanship and we played with mixed teams a few times to make the games more fair and interesting.

The trip was amazing, to say the least. Just ask anyone who went on it. Graded senior Ho Jun Yang commented that “it was a great trip because [he] got to bond with the community and really understand what it feels like to help others.” He is right—it was easy to see the results of our work as the walls grew and the pile of bricks dwindled. The graciousness and gratefulness of the community added to the positive effect as well. Hannah Robar agreed with Ho Jun, saying “Habitat was a great chance to build something that will last in a community that will be used to its fullest.” This new center will be standing for quite some time, and its importance will only grow as the community does.

The experiences and sense of satisfaction gained from this building project were worth every bug bite, sunburn, sleepless night, and sore muscle. It was an once-in-a-lifetime chance to make a tangible difference in the lives of members of a community that were so in need and so grateful.

Camila Ferreira Hannah Robar

the talon • 9

knews

A Tragic Fail

An overview on Costa Concordia’s wreckage Mendel Schwarz

W

hile seafaring through wintry waters on the coast of Giglio Island, Italy, cruise ship captain Francesco Schettino sailed off course with the objective of enhancing the scenery for the 4,200 passengers on board. The cruise ship then hit some shallow rocks, leading to the ship’s sinking and the deaths of twenty-five people. Seven out of the twenty-five travelers are still missing but probably won’t be found given that the underwater search for bodies in the ship has officially ended. This tragic event that occurred on January 13 shocked the world not only due to its high death toll, survivor stories and the environmental damage, but also due to another subject that piqued investigator’s curiosity.

A series of scandals involving Captain Schettino became like fodder for newsstands and TV shows.

Giglio Island gained its tourist status due to its crystalline waters and outstanding display of marine biodiversity—all of which might be gone in the future due to Schettino’s questionable behavior. The effects of Costa Concordia’s shipwreck on the environment are not known because many factors have to be analyzed. But what is known is that the diesel spills, trash, other contaminants, and the ship itself, have altered the area’s marine life forever. One of the main worries is the effect of diesel on the pristine waters. Diesel oil, which is used in ships such as this one, is a heavier type of oil that can either stick to the bottom of the ocean or continue to float on its surface. Both of these possibilities are bad, as the oil would immediately kill all the marinelife that lives on the bottom of the ocean or travel several kilometers away from its original location and damage previously unpolluted sites. Any interaction with the oil will be damaging to the natural food chain and causing problems that could take hundreds of years to repair.

Although all the ecological implications should be featured in the newspaper as the most discussed subject posttragedy, they aren’t. Why? Schettino. The cruise ship captain has been the subject of many accusations after his unauthorized change in the course of the ship. First, he was said to have made the move not to enrich the general public’s traveling experience but to impress a twenty-five year old Moldavian

10 • the talon

dancer, Domnica Cemortan. The accusation gained force when two Italian scuba divers on a mission to find and rescue survivors found the dancer’s lingerie lying around Schettino’s cabin along with a makeup kit. Second, a conversation between the ship captain and the coast-guard captain was released to the publi: “You get back on board! That is an order! There is nothing else for you to consider. You have sounded the Abandon Ship. Now I am giving bbc.co.uk the orders. Get back on board. Is that clear? Don’t you hear me?” said the Coast Guard captain, De Falco. The Coast Guard captain demanded Schettino return to the boat to coordinate the rescue, but in an attempt to save his life and to save him from the trouble involved with such an order, Schettino refused. Throughout the conversation De Falco seems to be appropriately preoccupied with the victims in the boat and in a variety of instances yelled at Schettino, who responded meekly and avoided answering the questions asked of him. Schettino would be later sued for abandoning the ship while passengers on board suffered to trying to escape.

Schettino was condemned to home imprisonment while he awaits the investigation.

Villains came out of the tragic events that led to the wreck of Costa Concordia, but heroic stories did come through as well. One was the rescue of Commissioner Manrico Giampedroni, who was imprisoned in the kitchen while he attempted to save passengers who were in the restaurant. While he helped them out, the boat rolled backwards and tossed him from the restaurant through the kitchen door. He was stuck there for around thirty-six hours. Giampedroni claims that the scuba divers would go by his window while they searched for survivors but wouldn’t see him. He then decided to repeatedly hit the wall with a frying pen until his rescuers heard him.

A number of lessons can be learned from this tragic episode. For example, one may think negatively on the human nature through the captain’s actions. One may question what we are doing to the environment. But one can’t help but grieve on the thought of how many lives have been destroyed with the death of loved ones because of the mistake of one man.

Sources: latimesblogs.latimes.com

knews

SOPA, PIPA & ACTA A story of drama, deceit, and failure Daniel Almeida

O

nce upon a time, the United States Congress declared that pizza qualified as a vegetable. This was followed by an overwhelming number of jokes directed at the government, making the Congress’ decision to look even sillier, and, as conspiracy theorists would have you believe, the government “fought” back with two bills known as the Stop Online Piracy Act and the Protect IP Act, SOPA and PIPA for short.

I kid, of course, but these bills are no laughing matter and have fueled polemic arguments around the Internet.

In what has been called one of the largest Internet-based protests in history, the Internet community has bashed and criticized both SOPA and PIPA, which it sees as quite similar in intent to the regulations applied by regimes in China and Syria to control Internet access.

Let us start off with the basics. Media companies are always looking for new ways to fight piracy. They have gone after individual users, getting Internet-service providers to take action against subscribers, and working with the U.S. government to shut down domains based in the United States.

But none of those actions can stop overseas websites such as The Pirate Bay from infringing copyrights, or prevent Internet users from accessing those sites.

SOPA, proposed by Respresentative Lamar Smith, and PIPA, proposed by Senator Patrick Leahy, are bills aimed at foreign websites that infringe on copyrighted material. The bills are commonly associated with media piracy, but may also apply to the sale of counterfeit consumer goods and medication.

Originally, both bills provided two methods for fighting copyright infringement on foreign websites. In one method, the U.S. Department of Justice could seek court orders requiring Internet service providers to block the domain names of infringing sites. Which is to say companies like Comcast (much like NET here in Brazil) could prevent its customers from accessing thepiratebay.org, although the underlying IP address would still be accessible. This ISP-blocking provision was a major concern among Internet security experts, and both SOPA and PIPA have dropped it.

The other tool would allow rights holders to seek court orders requiring payment providers, advertisers, and search engines to stop doing business with an infringing site.

This is to say, rights holders would be able to request that funding be cut off from an infringing site, and that search links to that site be removed. The site in question would have five days to appeal any action taken.

Although both bills are similar, SOPA is the more extreme of the two. It defines a “foreign infringing site” as any site that is “committing or facilitating” copyright infringement, whereas PIPA is limited to sites with “no significant use other than” copyright infringement. This vague wording could make websites such as YouTube, or Facebook liable for their users’ actions and could end up being censored. Those in favor of such bills are media giants such as Disney, and the Motion Picture Association of America; while opposition to both bills is strong in the tech sector, including giants like Google, Twitter and Wikipedia, among others.

Many of you may remember how, on January 18, 2012, websites such as Wikipedia and Reddit coordinated a service blackout, along with 7,000 other sites, in an effort to raise awareness. A number of protests were organized in the form of company boycotts and petition drives, with Google reporting it collected over 7 million signatures. Many pro-SOPA organizations such as CBS.com were shut down in DOS (denial of service) attacks, claimed by the “hacktivist” association Anonymous. Due to these protests and a rising awareness about the cons of these bills, both have been delayed so that lawyers can work on them. However, during this whole drama, another bill was being discussed, a bill whose consequences were deemed more destructive than SOPA or PIPA. This bill is known as the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement, or ACTA for short.

ACTA would be a global treaty that could allow corporations to censor the Internet. It was negotiated in secret by a small number of like-minded countries and corporate powers, and it would set up a shadowy new anti-counterfeiting body to allow private interest groups to police everything that we do online and impose massive penalties against people they say have harmed their businesses. Now don’t think that the battle has been lost; there is still much you can do, namely signing a petition on Avaaz.org, which has already collected 1.7 million signatures.

These three bills, SOPA, PIPA and ACTA, are the essence of what happens when you entrust Internet-related matters into the hands of people who just don’t know all the consequences of what they are doing, turning this whole political shenanigan into one massive fail.

Sources: pcworld.com; washingtontimes.com; laquadrature. net; avaaz.org; stopacta.info

the talon • 11

knews

Guy Fawkes Masks What happened when MegaUpload was shut down

T

he message was, “We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.”

Under the order of Commander X, the group Anonymous has been popularized by its iconic mask and over forty virtual attacks. All the members of this secretive group try to move towards their common goal of claiming vengeance and organizing attacks against any kind of anti-digital piracy movement. Recently, Anonymous was called to action when the Federal Bureau of Investigation and other government-run groups shut down the largest and most accessed file-sharing website, MegaUpload, in the night of January 19, 2012. This event occurred during the debae over Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and Protect IP Act (PIPA). Little did the FBI know, Commander X had collected over 5,600 members of Anonymous to plan and execute a counterattack that would completely expose their enemy.

About fifteen minutes after MegaUpload was closed, the group of hackers was able to completely shut down the websites that were responsible for the operation through distributed denial-of-service attacks, also known as DDoS, the main method used by hackers. The victims included Universal Music Group (the company that started the lawsuit against MegaUpload), the United States Department of Justice, the United States Copyright Office, the FBI, the Motion Picture Association of America, Warner Bros Music and finally, the Recording Industry Association of America. The hacking humiliated the organizations and, ironically, raised Anonymous’ popularity. However, shutting down FBI’s website apparently wasn’t enough for this group. On the same day in various social networks, private information about the director of the FBI, Robert Mueller, leaked ranging from his address and personal e-mail to his family’s phone numbers.

The day after temporarily closing all those websites, hackers used their Twitter account (@YourAnonNews) to rejoice in the failure of their opponents by writing mocking, provocative and sarcastic statuses regarding their accomplishments. Some of these include statements along the lines of “Looks like justice.org is having some issues loading...oops” and “Riaa.com isn’t loading...oops #expectus.” The Twitter account also has received a lot of support from other users and its number of followers has gone up.

In the art of war, the more allies, the better—and Anonymous certainly knows this. While campaigning against the United States government, Anonymous got into contact with perhaps the two most accessed search engines on the Internet: Google and Wikipedia. In agreement with Anonymous’ purpose, Google and Wikipedia’s homepages were unavailable

12 • the talon

for a noticeable amount of time, not only a form of protest but also a simulation of what would happen if SOPA and PIPA were passed. The group of protesters has also uploaded videos on YouTube as a way of communicating to Internet users. The atmosphere in their videos is very similar to an Al-Qaeda video. The manner in which they criticize the American government and even their posture in the video makes the comparison plausible, though Commander X has announced, “We are not a terrorist organization.” Using a Guy Fawkes mask, which initially came from the movie and comic book V for Vendetta, and with an unrecognizable modified voice, the Anonymous messenger announced their mission with an authoritarian air.

While the purpose of the group is to live up to their name, some contributors have been unmasked and had to deal with the authorities of their respective countries. The participation in any DDoS attack can cost about 10 years in prison and in rare cases, fines will be charged to the “participants” who weren’t aware they were somehow contributing to Anonymous’ illegal attacks. Reports of arrests have come out of Australia, Germany, Spain, Netherlands, United Kingdom and even Turkey. In the United States, Anonymous hackers have been found and arrested in Alabama, Arizona, California, Colorado, Washington D.C., Florida, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Mexico, and Ohio. Despite the risk, the globalization of this group has worked to its advantage as it has spread the message and cause, along with enticed new members to join.

Adding to this point, the youngest participant registered was a 15-year-old German boy. There has also been speculation about Commander X’s identity; some have identified him as a San Francisco gardener.

Anonymous’ plans still remain shady for the exception of one: Operation Global Blackout (OGB). Through one of their most recent videos on YouTube, hackers announced that OGB will be bigger and far more ambitious than the operation against SOPA, and its target is the group that threatened to shut down Facebook’s 60,000 servers.

Sources: googleplusblog.it; terra.com.br

alibaba.com

Paty Kim

entretainment

Tap Screen to Begin

One prospering industry in today’s tough times Julia Wu

I

n elementary school, the Nintendo Game Boy was one of my only friends. I owned a navy blue one and slept with it under my pillow. I wish I was still capable of developing the type of ardent infatuation and devotion I had for Super Mario World and Pokémon Red/Blue/Silver/Gold/Sapphire—talk about sheer passion. In middle school, video games were for boys. They spoke of Xbox and PlayStation, and most of the girls would just sit and talk about Disney stars. In high school, to my surprise, I am revisiting games. Not on any particular gaming device, but cell phones and tablets. Games are all over the place—they come in high resolution, have incredible background music, and still make me feel like a pro. Although I don’t have the time to take part in a virtual plot and embody some surreal character, I can still ease my stress level by killing two pigs with one bird.

Games have become so widespread and popular that they’re no longer limited to a specific group of people. Whether you savor digital games on the computer, the TV, an i-device, your cell phone or even your TI-84, games have unquestionably marked their territory in our culture. Here are some of the latest scoops from the gaming industry.

In 2011, the United States ruled that video games are officially legitimate forms of art that deserve protection by the First Amendment of the Constitution. In June, the US Supreme Court’s decision that video games are protected speech annulled a Californian law that would prevent the sales of violent games to minors. In short, the status of games has risen to one almost parallel to books and music.

Last year, Japanese gaming tycoons went through a series of transformations and turbulences. The March earthquake resulted in economic challenges that led gaming companies to delay or cancel releases of games that might cause emotional instability to the earthquake’s victims. Furthermore, there were rumors that Nintendo’s executive Miyamoto might retire to focus on developing smaller games. Although the Zelda and Super Mario creator later announced that his role in the company would remain unchanged, the rumor caused Nintendo’s stock value to drop 2%. Also in 2011, Nintendo went through a plunge in sales, marking its first ever fiscal loss. This could be related to the global consumers’ shift from gaming on consoles and TVs to tablets and phones.

Speaking of touch-screen games, perhaps the most prominent is Angry Birds. I’ve seen more birds on screens recently than in real life, and Graded students and teachers alike are defending golden eggs. While I used to sleep with my

Game Boy under the pillow, I now have an Angry Birds stuffed animal to cuddle with and an Angry Birds phone case. The mobile gaming phenomenon was created by a 55-person Finnish company, Rovio, and has been responsible for virtually all of the company’s revenue. Aside from record-breaking downloads (6.5 million on Christmas Day alone), Rovio has been benefitting massively from the Angry Birds franchise. Licenses have been sold to t-shirt companies, theme parks, movie studios and toy factories, featuring an ample range of products.

While Rovio considers a public stock offering, Zynga, the company behind Farmville, had already set off in 2011.

Having profited immensely from the social market, namely networks like Facebook, Zynga released its public offering at $10 per share, with a total of 100 million shares. This large initial public offering broke the record set by Google in 2004, but the price has dipped to around $8 since its release. Still, Zynga made over $1 billion in cash during the process, while taking a lead role in the industry.

Certainly, the success of the gaming industry is directly related to the number of gamers and frequency of play. Most of us are amateur gamers with appreciation for the entertainment these phenomena bring; but some people, well, not just people, have a deeper connection. A viral video on YouTube features a Russian cat that plays Fruit Ninja on the iPad better than many humans. With paws sharp as swords, this cat ruins its owner’s screen while attaining high scores. Another odd player is a man in China who spent $16,000 on a game set in ancient China, named “Age of Wulin.” He purchased a virtual sword to slay a virtual dragon. I don’t even know who I should question—the obsessed gamer or the conceited company that set that price.

Now some superlatives of gaming from 2011 and 2012: The most pirated game of 2011 is Crysis 2, by EA Games. Nearly 4 million people illegally downloaded the PC version of the game, followed by Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, Battlefield 3 and FIFA 12. Among the most pirated Wii games include Nintendo’s 3D Super Mario Galaxy 2, while Gears of War 3 tops the piracy list for Xbox 360. Five of the most anticipated games of 2012 are: Grand Theft Auto 5, Halo 4, Mass Effect 3, Diablo 3 and BioShock Infinite. Here’s to yet another year of gaming, for global gamers and the swelling industry.

Sources: ingame.msnbc.msn.com; businessinsider.com

the talon • 13

entretainment

The Stages of Failing an Epic Test Perhaps you know them?

Yasmin Della Nina

H

ow is it that you feel when you studied all night for that stupid, super important test that your teacher says is worth 20% of your grade — but really it’s like 115% — and thought you did well, but when you get it back you find out you actually failed miserably?

This is how I usually feel when I get a test back: Stage 1: Denial and accusations After checking my name on the top of the page for the umpteenth time, I realize that yes; someone did pretend to be me and copied my handwriting with absolute precision. He or she did not, however, have the same luck imitating my highly intelligent and absolutely correct answers.

Oh God, why is the world conspiring against me? Why is life so terrible? What a pain it is to live. Look at this. This isn’t even mine…

Okay, fine. It is mine. But it’s not my fault. No. It’s… not. I didn’t have enough time to study for this thing! Mr. Teacher warned me like…three days ago. Two weeks tops!

Besides, he’s not even a good teacher anyway! He didn’t even teach me anything. He only talked about this subject once… or twice… on those days that I was doing my English annotations under the table and texting that kid on Whatsapp.

It is obviously not my fault.

Stage 2: Anger mixed with sadness I’m so stupid! How could I ever even have thought of an answer like this?! It doesn’t even make any sense!

I hate the world. I hate it. I hate school. I hate this chair. I hate this pencil. I hate my stupid hair that keeps getting in my face. I hate my friends. I hate living. I hate everything.

I studied so hard!!!!! I killed myself out there!!!! I couldn’t even feel my fingers when I was done and my head felt like a truck had run over it!!!! ALL IN VAIN!!!!! **&%$#@$#*&#$@(#*($&@#(*&#$)@)*#$*&@#(*&#(*@& $(*@(*%$#¨%¨$#%%@Q@&&@#¨$%@#&¨@#%$@&#¨%%#$&¨#@% $@#%&$%@(#$*#@&#$#@($*&#@()*&$@#%*#$¨%*#@&$#@*(&$(

14 • the talon

@%¨$*(&(@#*&$(@*#&%(#@*¨%*&#$$(@#*&$¨@#%*(&¨%*#&¨$*@ #¨$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stage 3: Malice My parents don’t have to know about this. Nobody has to know about this, at least not for a while. I mean, at least not until that party on Saturday goes by. And that other one next weekend. Oh, and that other one on the following weekend.

OR. Or… I could just change my grade. I have a red pen just like this one, they’ll never know. They’ll think I’m so smart. So clever. So… Tumblr.com #$&#*$&#!!! I forgot my mom knows how to access Veracross now!!! Damn Mrs. Counselor for teaching her how to ruin my life!!!

Maybe I could hack Veracross. Hmm… I bet one of my Asian friends know how to hack it. Then I’ll just change my grade, and then PUFF! Away worries. Away!!!

Hm. Maybe I can get away with this: “Mr. Teacher?” Mr. Teacher is coming!!! Results!!! “Hey, Mr. Teacher, are you sure I got zero credit on this question? And this one? And this one? And this one? And this one —” “Yes, Student. I’m sure.”

Damn.

Stage 4: Utter and complete poker face during lunch “Are you okay?” says Friend 1.

“Oh, yeah. I’m great.”

“Are you upset because of that test you did bad on?

Really, it’s okay,” says Friend 2.

“Pft! That test? Sad because of a TEST? I didn’t even remember that, jeez. Test… pft. It’s nothing, I’m just tired because I stayed up until like, two in the morning pretending to study but really I was watching Pretty Little Liars.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You look really upset.”

My poker face is not a poker face?

“I’m fine guys. Really.”

What a pretty little lie.

entretainment Stage 5: On the way home, feeling like a prisoner being taken to the gallows I’m not going to speak. I’m not. That way I can prolong my last seconds of glory. If I breathe, he’ll know!

“So how was your day?” asks Dad. “Just fine!” I answer too quickly.

“How was that test you were studying for Sunday night?”

“Dunno… The grade didn’t come out yet…”

“I’m sure you did great.”

“Yep.” HE. KNOWS. Stage 6: Utter and complete depression After getting past the daily interrogation, unscarred (How was your day? What did you eat during lunch? How was that test? You fell asleep in Physics?! DAUGHTER!) I finally get to go to the kitchen, grab a bar of chocolate, sit on the couch in the living room, and watch a sad, pathetic, romantic movie

so that I can cry my eyes out and drown in my misery.

These movies are so beautiful! They just make me want to believe that there is some good in the world! But how can there be good, if I failed my TEST? HOW? Oh, my heart! I can’t even — Stage 7: Acceptance You know what? I don’t even care. I don’t. It’s just a test. I have plenty of tests to come. So what if I killed myself Sunday night studying for it? You can’t have everything in life perfect, right? And it’s with mistakes that one learns. My parents will understand. They always do. Why am I even scared?

How silly of me! Pft. And what is this trash that I’m watching?

Action movie, now!

Stage 8: The grand finale (no lessons learned) Who am I kidding? This just totally ruined my grade.

LOL. I’m so screwed! Oh well. Nothing I can do now to make this better. Time to procrastinate, woohoo!

Monthly Update What goes up, must come down Adam Hunt Fertig

No more disposable plastic at Graded, thanks to GIN (I don’t know who they are, but Kevin told me to advertise. You’re welcome).

Two weeks back from Carnaval break, students still shuffle into their classes, “ready” for “learning.”

The violence in Syria continues, with thousands already killed by the government

the talon • 15

entretainment

Bricks trip

Overheard at Graded

I have a feeling that the sun did not do the students any good Isabella Zevallos

A

group of around twenty students from Bricks for Community (the new Habitat for Humanity) traveled during vacation to Ilha do Cardoso to build a community center. Because of the hours of work under the blazing sun, students (and teachers alike) weren’t functioning all that well and said way too many Overheard-worthy comments.

“I want to screw you really badly.”

I see that playing Uno has some lascivious side effects.

While playing a game on the bus: “Name a vegetable.”

“Fruit.”

It is good to know that Graded students are fully aware of the classification of different foods.

Gisela: “We can kill the cops now.”

A few days at Ilha do Cardoso have for sure showcased a whole new side of Gisela.

Talking about sunglasses: “They were masculine ones, but if any guy wore them…”

“What, jeggings?”

I am now imagining a man wearing jeggings. Thank you, I have be scarred for life.

On the way to Ilha do Cardoso: “My family almost went to jail because we had Kinder eggs.”

Oh yes, those Kinder eggs are so dangerous that they should be destroyed at customs before they put the entire country in danger.

“I wish I was an emotional vegetable-eater.”

There is nothing better than crying and being healthy at the same time.

After working for an entire day, a girl looks at her arms: “That awkward moment when you don’t know if it’s dirt or tan.”

Unless the dirt is bright red, I have a feeling I already know the answer.

While laying bricks: “Igloos aren’t square, just Canadians are.”

Interesting fact: a half-Canadian said this. That must mean something.

While sifting sand for construction: “You’re the Jedi of sand-sifting.”

Oh, THAT is how everything got done in time — there were sifters with superpowers.

At night, playing a round of Uno:

16 • the talon

“Kaique, come to the shower.”

I have heard stories about Habitat trips bringing people closer together, but I had never imagined this...

“What time is it?”

“1:70.”

It is probably just the time zone difference at Ilha do Cardoso.

Talking about an old man as he plays soccer: “He is like Benjamin Button — he looks like he’s 80, but plays like he’s 20.”

Wait a second. You lost to an 80 year old man?

During a snack break in the middle of the day: “He’s putting Oreos in his pants for extra flavor.”

I am never eating Oreos again without thinking of this.

Thanks.

In a game of Mafia: “Why are you accusing me? I am just your friendly neighborhood Asian.”

Sure. But Jack the Ripper was once just your friendly neighbor and you know how THAT worked out.

Talking about the locals from the island: “They call people from the other colonies.”

Sorry to break it to you, but Ilha do Cardoso is not a set of colonies.

After someone accidently rips their pants: “Let it rip!”

It is always good to have some moral support upon ripping your pants.

While playing soccer against the locals: “If I don’t come back, tell my dad he is weird.”

Interesting to know that this is the first thing that comes to this guy’s mind upon possible death.

entretainment

Bricks for Community: Ilha do Cardoso A few snapshots

Isabella Zevallos

bar

ah Ro

Hann

Hannah Robar

Camila Ferreira

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Hannah Robar

the talon • 17

entretainment

Top 10 Fail Stories of 2011

Taking some guilty pleasure out of another’s mistake Ines Gil

A

s 2011 ended and the new year arrived, people have come across lists like “10 Top Music Videos of 2011” or the “Best Dressed of 2011,” but one we haven’t seen is the list of the Top Failures of the year. These mistakes and odd events provide us with some memories of the past year and remind of us of how fortunate we were to have 2011 be a year full of failed moments. Although these acts don’t occur every day of our lives, we all have had our fair share of something similar. Whether these make you laugh, cry, or just question the human race, I give to you the Top 10 Fail Stories of 2011: 10. A man is rescued from a McDonald’s straw dispenser.

A man got stuck in McDonald’s straw dispenser, having to be freed by firefighters. This was definitely not one of the calls a firefighter would usually get! That man must have been so thirsty he didn’t even get to have his meal.

9. Professional tennis player Alize Cornet gets embarrassed after having her match against Caroline Wozniacki interrupted by her ringing cell phone.

Maybe it was her mom telling her she forgot her water bottle at home, or perhaps a friend saying hello. But having your phone on the loudest setting during a match? The last thing you want to hear is your ringtone of Justin Bieber’s “Baby” while you try focus.

8. Kim Kardashian’s Wedding of the Century lasts 72 days.

Yes, this event just had to be mentioned on the Fail List, there is no avoiding it. After the build-up of her wedding and the numerous TV episodes based on her relationship with Kris Humphries, it all ended after 72 days. I guess some girls can get the fairytale wedding, but not the happily ever after — as much as they may publicize it.

7. Egyptian parents name their newborn girl “Facebook.”

Poor little girl. Let’s hope she has friends and doesn’t get poked too often by random people.

6. An obese man sues the fast food chain White Castle over too small booths.

“It’s not me, it’s you.”

18 • the talon

5. The captain of a flight gives a scare by accidentally locking himself in the toilet in the middle of a flight.

You could say that he was occupied at the moment. Although this may have been was a pretty daring prank.

4.

A man signed into Facebook inside the home he was robbing, forgetting to log out before leaving.

It was an easy job for the police. That man was really that desperate to update his status into “Breaking into a house, brb.” He was smart enough to break into the house, but not to log out of Facebook.

3.

Nude woman caught on the Google Street View.

Why she was naked on the sidewalk we will never know, but pity her for getting caught at the worst possible moment. Thank you Google, for having the worst timing ever.

2. The moon is mistaken for an alien spaceship.

An American man saw a “giant object hovering” in the sky, called 911 only to realize it was just the moon. Yes, just the moon. I guess wherever he lives the moon is a rarity. What’s next, mistaking it for the UFO sun?

1. The show “Mythbusters” launches a cannonball which hits a family home.

To all the people who know and love the show Mythbusters: be warned. When they say “do not try this at home,” it doesn’t mean that they themselves won’t launch things into other people’s houses.

So as we welcome this New Year, reflect upon those failed, but funny, moments of 2011, and anticipate the stories we will have in 2012. A lot of significant events have happened in this past year that have changed the world, but it is always fun to also look at those hilarious, trivial happenings. Thank you to those people for their interesting and daring choices, whether intentional or not, that make us laugh. We all need a little fail in life to remind us that it’s normal to make mistakes.

We welcome 2012 with open arms: Bring on the fail.

Sources: studentbeans.com; buzzfeed.com; newslite.tv

entretainment

Here’s Your Nickel Back, Nickelback The story behind the “worst band in the world”

beatwolf.com

Kevin Shimba Bengtsson

C

onsidering they are two bands that have consistently been dubbed the “worst band in the world,” it’s not particularly difficult to deem Nickelback and Creed failures in the realm of music. Throughout their respective careers, they have been condemned by music critics and music fans alike, to the point that it’s actually considerably difficult to find something positive about them.

To begin with, the story about the origin of the name Nickelback is not the most exciting and is, in fact, slightly embarrassing. Legend has it that when the band’s bassist, Mike Kroeger, was working for Starbucks back in Vancouver, he would commonly tell the customers “here’s your nickel back” when giving them a nickel in change. This seems like quite a silly band name considering they are often called a “post-grunge” band, which would imply a more somber and mature attitude towards music.

Furthermore, being a so-called post-grunge band, Nickelback is blatantly riding on the coattails of extremely popular grunge bands such as Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains. However, much unlike all these bands, Nickelback seems to rely on at times silly and meaningless lyrics “hey hey, I wanna be a rockstar” (aren’t they already rockstars?) as well as pop hooks in their music in order to make it more commercially friendly and thus reel in more fans.

The criticism and distaste for the band culminated back in 2002 when, at show in Portugal, everything went wrong. They had just begun their show at a festival there (they were only on their second song) before fans awaiting to see other bands, disappointed in their music, began to boo and subsequently throw rocks and bottles at them. Consequently, singer-songwriter Chad Kroeger stopped the music and posed the question: “Have we got any Nickelback fans in Portugal?”

After almost no one in the crowd responded, he asked “Are

you sure? [It’s] up to you, do you guys want to hear some rock n’ roll or do you want to go home?” Yet again, there was no reaction from the crowd, so the band left the stage whilst still being pelted by objects from the crowd.

More recently, however, there was controversy involving Nickelback and the Detroit Lions. The band was booked to play as part of the halftime entertainment for one of the games of the American Football team, but this wasn’t meant to be because Lions fans were quick to respond. An online petition was created so as to not have the band play, and it stated the following: “This game is nationally televised, do we really want the rest of the US to associate Detroit with Nickelback? Detroit is home to so many great musicians and they chose Nickelback?!?!?! Does anyone even like Nickelback?” This goes on for a tad longer, but the message is clear: People are not particularly fond of the band. The 55,850 signatures that the petition received are only proof of this. Funnily enough, Nickelback created an extremely inappropriate response video with Funny or Die, a comedy video website, where they simply make fun of their status as a band that everybody hates and even embrace it.

Amazingly, the disrespect for the band still doesn’t end there, as recently an extension for Mozilla Firefox and Google Chrome was created called Nickelblock. Its function is simple: Once installed, it eliminates any mention of Nickelback on the web, placing a solid bar where the word “Nickelback” should be. It also blocks any pictures containing or involving the band, though this feature isn’t always functional.

Finally, when it comes to Nickelback being a failure of a band, all you have to do to realize the validity of this statement is resort to Google. Sure, from a commercial standpoint, Nickelback is extremely successful, selling 50 million albums, but a simple Google search of the “worst band in the world” leads to several results, many of which contain Nickelback. As such, they somehow have become the band that nobody likes, but everyone likes at the same time. And yet, there may even be a band with a worse reputation, though not as notorious as Nickelback: Creed. Although this is no longer true, a Google search of the “worst band in the world” a few years ago rendered Google to prompt “Did you mean: Creed?”

Before writing this article, I had asked Mendel Schwartz to guess what I’d be writing about for this edition of the Talon, without giving him any hints. He immediately answered “Nickelback,” claiming that was the first thing that came to his mind when he thought of entertainment and “fail.” Need I say more?

Sources: wikipedia.org; rollingstone.com

the talon • 19

entretainment

Trivialities Long time no see! Enjoy.

Julia Wu

T • • •

• • • • • • •

• • • • • • • •

• •

•

he last time a cigarette commercial appeared on American TV was on December 31, 1970.

On a toilet paper roll, there are 333 toilet paper squares.

You can sense a skunk’s presence by detecting only .000000000000071 ounce of its spray.

Charles Dickens was an insomniac who believed that he had the best chance of falling asleep if he placed himself in the middle of a bed that is at all times pointed in a northerly direction.

Copies of the Bible and Koran small enough to fit in a walnut shell have been written by hand.

Charles Darwin’s last words, spoken 1882, were “I am not the least afraid to die.”

A thick glass is more likely to crack if hot water is poured into it than a thin one.

The average housewife walks 10 miles a day around the house doing her chores.

There are 53 Lego bricks manufactured for each person on the planet.

When young and impoverished, Pablo Picasso kept warm by burning his own paintings.

If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 but rather around 4,950 because the heads picture weighs more so it ends up on the bottom.

Wal-Mart generates 3 million dollars in revenue every 7 minutes.

An airplane mechanic invented the Slinky while he was playing with engine parts.

Muhammad is the most common given name in the world, while Lee is the most common surname.

Persia changed its name to Iran in 1935.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the author of the Sherlock Holmes series, was an ophthalmologist by profession.

Napoleon Bonaparte’s last word, spoken in 1821, was “Josephine.”

Thomas Edison’s last words were “It is very beautiful over there,” spoken in 1931.

On his deathbed in 1883, Karl Marx repelled his housekeeper who asked him to tell her his last words, by saying “Go on, get out—last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.”

Leon Trotsky’s last words, from 1940, were “I feel here that this time they have succeeded.”

Leonardo da Vinci’s dying words, from 1519, were “I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.”

Franklin D. Roosevelt was the only US president elected four times.

20 • the talon

• • • • •

• • •

The only crime defended in the U.S. Constitution is treason (Article III, Section 3).

Isaac Newton, Peter Tchaikovsky and Annie Lennox were all born on Christmas Day. Grover Cleveland, Abraham Lincoln, Harry Truman and George Washington never attended college.

The ratio of female to male shoplifters is 4 to 1.

The Chinese were producing things with aluminum as early as 300 AD whereas the Western civilization didn’t discover aluminum until 1827.

The Eiffel Tower was built for the 1889 World’s Fair.

Dr. Seuss wrote Green Eggs and Ham after his editor dared him to write a book with less than 50 different words.

The first-known contraceptive was crocodile dung, employed by Egyptians in 2000 BC.

snopes.com

• • • • •

•

Yellowstone was the world’s first national park, dedicated in 1872.

Ancient Egyptians shaved their eyebrows to mourn the death of their cats.

When Thomas Edison died in 1941, Henry Ford captured his dying breath in a bottle.

Thomas Hobbes’ last words in 1679 were “I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.”

In 1945, Grace Hopper was working on a computer at Harvard when it malfunctioned. She then found a moth in one of the circuits and removed it. Since then, when a computer malfunctions or crashes, it is said to have a bug.

Your skin has a surface area of about 25 square feet.

Sources: funfunnyfacts.com, corsinet.com/trivia

entretainment

Overheard at Graded A new semester full of ...“interesting” comments Isabella Zevallos

I

n a classroom: “Shaolin monks dedicated their lives to Artial Marts” Yes, that is exactly it.

Person 1: Smile! Like a real smile!

Person 2: But when I smile my eyes get small!

Person 1: BUT YOU’RE ASIAN! Person 2: Exactly! I don’t want my eyes to look like little lines!

And I thought that only happened in cartoons.

In math class: “Can I borrow the stapler?”

“No, it doesn’t have food.”

Staples: a new source of protein and vitamin C. After school, in A3: Person 1: “Mas eu já comi essa coisa.”

Person 2: “Você comeu esmalte?”

Person 1: “Não, eu tentei mas não consegui.”

Hm... nail polish must be tasty.

A girl explaining her multiple absences in Physics class: “Gente, não vou pra física pra decorar meu quarto.”

Setting priorities straight: always think of your room’s decoration before your Physics grade.

“If you eat a chicken heart, do you become a chicken?”

Well, I have eaten lots of cow meat, but I have never become a cow, so...

“If he had a girlfriend, her name would be basketball.”

Conclusion: if you are a basketball player, you never have a “forever alone” moment.

In a conversation during lunch about Christmas gifts for boyfriends: Person 1: “Eu vou dar uma blusa de surf.”

Person 2: “Eu vou dar uma blusa de luta. Hahaha que engraçado o meu gosta de luta e o seu de surf!”

Person 3: “E meu gosta de invisibilidade…”

That awkward moment when you have to count on an invisible boyfriend.

In Biology class: Teacher: “Who can tell me the order of the cell cycle?”

Student: “Interphase…mitosis…analphase…”

I have a feeling that something is not right here, but I’d rather

not go into further details about it.

In Biology class, students discuss a character they were portraying: Person 1: “So my person was a laborer—” Person 2: “You were a Mexican?”

Person 1: “Yes. How did you know?”

Person 2: “Well, you said you were a laborer…”

Wisdom, luck, simply knowledge or stereotype?

“Dr. Seuss is a doctor that fixes people, right?”

Yes, and Green Eggs and Ham is his recommended diet.

“It’s a flower.”

“But like, a hairy flower?”

I really don’t know what kind of flowers you have in your garden, but I have never seen hairy flowers.

“I refuse to travel on Valentine’s Day — I prefer spending it on Tumblr.”

The beauty of owning up to loneliness.

In English class: Teacher: “Gentlemen, please put yours in here.”

Student: “That’s what she said.”

Teacher: “Did you really just say that to me?”

Apparently TWSS is not something teachers appreciate.

In Spanish class: Pepe: “Cuentame de tu futuro con el tennis.”

Student 1: “Me opere la rodilla y no voy a poder jugar tennis.”

Student 2: “Pepe, hablando del futuro, tu crees que van a haber carros voladores?”

Pepe: apparently always there to predict the future when students ask him to.

“If I listen to that song again, I am going to cry like a pregnant lady.”

Of course — pregnant ladies are extremely sensitive to music.

Student 1: “Your mom makes temakis?”

Student 2: “Well, of course — she is Asian.”

Seriously, why is it that Overheard at Graded always has quotes about Asians?

Note: Overheard something funny? Send it: talon@graded.br

the talon • 21

feetures

The Failure of a Meritocratic Society And an attempt at solving its problems

Ho Jun Yang

O

ur society is meritocratic... or so we would like to believe.

The charm of such a conviction is that people who earn their positions in the upper levels of society deserve them. But on the flip side, this means that the people at the bottom also “deserve” their life situation for their lack of talent or skills.

However, as Alain de Botton—a Swiss writer, television presenter and entrepreneur—commented at a TED conference, that kind of mindset is not only poisonous, but it’s also completely unfair to the people who are at or near the bottom of the social hierarchy. He claims that this is due to a failure to take into account the accidents and sudden problems in life, causing people to have an unnecessarily negative attitude towards those at the bottom. But according to a New York Times article, the story of the headmaster of Riverdale Country School reinforces the notion that failure is necessary in life.

The clichéd notion that failure begets success is evident in common sayings such as “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” and “One’s best success comes after his greatest disappointments.” So how exactly does this headmaster’s story further validate this “common knowledge”?

Dominic Randolph is the headmaster of one of New York City’s most prestigious private schools, Riverdale Country School. According to the Times article, although certain over-enthusiastic parents from the Upper East Side dispute whether it is truly a top-tier school or not, it is undoubtedly part of the city’s private-school elite. In this preppy school, Randolph seems like “an iconoclast, a disrupter, even a bit of an eccentric.” Together with his countenance, his beliefs are also a bit peculiar. At such a prestigious institution, he believes that standardized testing and other similar assessment methods don’t really succeed in achieving what he believes should be the ultimate goal of every single education system—a good character.

As an educator, Randolph had wondered how schools should impart this quality to the students. In the winter of 2005, after reading Learned Optimism, a book by Martin Seligman (a psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania), he arranged to have a meeting with him. Fortunately for him, on the morning that Randolph arrived in Philadelphia, Seligman had scheduled a meeting with David Levin, the co-founder of the KIPP network of charter schools as well as the superintendent of the KIPP schools in New York City. So Seligman decided to combine the two meetings and also invited Christopher Peterson, a psychology professor at University of Michigan who was visiting Penn at the time.

The four men had the same goal: instilling “good character” into their students. In their meeting, Seligman

22 • the talon

and Peterson presented their book Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. The authors intended it as a “manual of the sanities” to be able to apply, what they called, the “science of good character.” Seligman and Peterson had “consulted works from Aristotle to Confucius, from the Upanishads to the Torah, from the Boy Scout Handbook to the profiles of Pokémon characters” and distilled everything into 24 shared character strengths from all cultures and eras. With the help of Angela Duckworth, who was a graduate student at the time, Levin and Randolph created an assessment system that displays the qualities of a “good character” and called it the “Grit Scale.” In this evaluation, “grit” indicated the quantified amount of “good character.”

This system was applied to the KIPP’s New York City schools and soon students there measured their CPA (Character Point Average) twice a year. Through this program, Tom Brunzell, the dean of students at KIPP, commented that this was a sort of therapy that helped teenagers and children. However, at Riverdale, Randolph was afraid of objectively quantifying and then evaluating the characters of students, in case they simply started test-prepping in order to obtain “good character.” Thus, the Grit evaluative system wasn’t implemented at his school.

Nevertheless, Randolph was struggling with the realization that, “children of affluent parents now exhibit ‘unexpectedly high rates of emotional problems, beginning in junior high school.” Apparently, parents at Riverdale were pushing their children to excel, but were also protecting them from “exactly the kind of experience that can lead to character growth.” One Riverdale staff member, Karen Fierst, claimed that parents first needed to understand that it’s good for students to have a challenge in order to grow. By overindulging kids, there lies a huge risk of thwarting character development. Even Randolph says that the experiences that had built him up to achieve success “were not built in his years at Harvard or at the boarding schools he attended; they came out of years of trial and error, of taking chances and living without a safety net.” He only wishes that children could fail in order to build the character necessary for success.

As cliché as it may seem, a child being coddled his whole life will never require the assets necessary for success.

And perhaps then the idea of meritocracy isn’t as disagreeable as de Botton saw it to be. If, as seen by Randolph, failure truly is the necessary key to success, then there is still one question.

How in the world are we supposed to give children failure?

Source: nytimes.com

feetures

A Comedic Caucus

The fails in the Republican political race Adam Hunt Fertig

T

he news stations and websites are broadcasting it nonstop: who will be the Republican party nominee for the president of the United States? The media coverage is astounding, and I, along with millions of Americans, have been following the race for the candidacy voraciously. I assume, however, that there is a question on the minds of many non-American readers: “Why should we care? These aren’t the real elections, just a preliminary round. Why pay attention to this race?” Well, since the Democratic party is fully supporting Obama, much of the political action will be happening in these Republican primaries. Furthermore, the primaries and their candidates are hilarious. Many of the candidates’ actions seem unreal, and provide a source of quality comedic entertainment.

The candidates themselves are a little absurd. Each has his or her own oddities. Let’s start with Mitt Romney, a Mormon ex-governor of Massachusetts. He is currently the strongest candidate of the primary, having won nine states and 150 delegates. But he has been criticized for changing his position (a.k.a “flip-flopping”) in order to be more appealing to a far-right crowd. He started the race as a moderate, but after being attacked by other candidates for his “leftist” policies, he transformed into a right-wing crusader. Let me be clear: by “leftist” policies, I mean providing affordable health care for the state of Massachusetts and protecting its natural resources. This jumping back and forth of ideologies has cost him many supporters, and it’s a bit weird that he has to stop acting like a reasonable candidate to get more votes.

However, he is currently the most realistic option.

In second place is Rick Santorum, a Catholic exsenator of Pennsylvania. Although he has won four caucuses so far, he has been under fire for his homophobic views and rejection of the scientific opinion on global warming and alternative energy. His homophobia outraged gay rights activist Dan Savage, who linked Santorum’s name to a rather nasty sexual image which will not be mentioned here. This term became a popular Google search result for Santorum’s name. However, he has had surprisingly progressive views on worldwide poverty and AIDS (ironically enough), which could save his campaign.

In third place is Catholic ex-Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich, who won the South Carolina primary by a 40% landslide. He has taken a huge amount of heat for his issues with infidelity and adultery, since he has been married three times, divorcing one of his wives while she was terminally ill. Ironically, he was one of the supporters of Bill Clinton’s impeachment for having an affair with an intern, even though

he did exactly the same thing, twice. Also, he was charged with 84 ethics violations while Speaker of the House. Despite such flaws, Newt Gingrich has enough support in other states to be a competitor in the upcoming weeks.

And finally, the last main contender is 76-year-old Texas congressman Ron Paul. He is considered the godfather of the contemporary Tea Party movement, a somewhat radical group. For some reason, a site called “Ron Paul Facts” has been created, sarcastically glorifying his commitment to the Constitution and patriotism in a similar format to Chuck Norris jokes. But even comments like “Ron Paul doesn’t cut taxes.

He kills them with his bare hands,” may not be able to save his candidacy.

However, the fun doesn’t stop there. Several candidates have entered the race, then withdrawn, and two of these candidates stand out as more comical than the rest: Rick Perry and Herman Cain. Herman Cain was for a short time the frontrunner of the Republican race and predicted to possibly beat Obama for a short period of time, until four women claimed that he had sexually harassed them. Although he denied these accusations, his reputation was so wounded that he was eventually forced to suspend his campaign. The way he did this, though, was kind of strange: he rolled into a rally in a large tour bus with his face plastered on it, and proceeded to quote the ending credits song from the Pokemon movie. Another infamous candidate is Governor Rick Perry. On the political comedy show The Daily Show with John Stewart, correspondent John Oliver observed that all candidates had an “Achilles’ Heel” in this race, except for Perry, who had an “Achilles’ Head.” With an uncanny political and personal resemblance to George W. Bush, Perry isn’t exactly the brightest bulb. Among his many political blips was his inability to count to three during a debate, and his “Strong” advertisement, a hilariously provocative campaign ad. All in all, his campaign never took off, but he definitely provided us with some laughs.

The Republican campaigns this year are truly bizarre.

There has been little to no discussion of actual political affairs, such as foreign policy or health care reform, but instead the debates devolved into bickering and attacking each other’s personal lives. And we’ve still got many more contests and countless political fails before this is over. So far, after observing all of the candidates and following the race for quite some time, I have only one question: of the 300 million people in the United States, these are the best the Republicans could come up with? That’s the real fail.

the talon • 23

feetures

Great Scientific Mishaps

Can failure be the secret ingredient of success?

Mariana Lepecki

Penicillin—One of the First Antibiotics Born in Lochfield, Scotland on August 6, 1881, Dr. Alexander Fleming made one of the most important discoveries in medical history. Fleming, a bacteriologist, spent most of his time looking for special antibiotic enzymes that could kill bacteria. He became interested in bacterial infections after working as the captain of the Army Medical Force in World War I, when he was alarmed by the number of soldiers that were dying from small infections. Sadly, after numerous attempts to discover a cure for these infections, Fleming came up short, with only enzymes like lysosyme that weren’t strong enough to kill the bacteria. It was in 1928, while he was cleaning out his petri dishes used to grow the bacteria, that he noticed something extremely peculiar. He saw that one of the dishes contained a strange mold that, upon examination, contained a staphylococcus culture that had killed the bacteria. Then he took a sample of the mold and named it penicillin for originating from the penicillin family Nitrous Oxide (laughing gas)—One of the First Anesthetics Horace Wells was born in the State of Vermont on January 21, 1815. He was a very successful dentist with important patients like governors and businessmen. As a skilled professional in tooth extractions, he noticed that his patients suffered tremendous amounts of pain during the procedure and he tried to find a solution. Little did he know that the answer that he was looking for wasn’t going to be found in the lab, but in a performance. In 1844, he and his wife went to chemist Mr. Gardner Q. Colton’s theater show, where he described the effects on people who inhaled gases—such as nitrous oxide. This was very amusing for the public; every time a person inhaled the gas, he became extremely euphoric and laughed (hence the term “laughing gas”). One of these volunteers was Samuel Cooley, a friend of Wells, who fell and cut open his leg after

24 • the talon

inhaling the gas. When he returned to his seat next to Wells, the dentist asked him if he was feeling any pain, but Cooley said that “he didn’t feel a thing.” These results surprised Wells, who immediately began to experiment with nitrous oxide, discovering that not only was it an “amusing gas,” but a powerful anesthetic as well.

Chiclets—Chewing Gum Although chewing-gum-like substances have existed since ancient times (the Greeks chewed Mastiche while the Mayans chewed Chicle), Thomas Adams, a photographer and a glassmaker, was the first to develop the more modern recipe for gum. In 1870 General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna (former Mexican president living in exile in the US) mentioned to Adams that he planned on selling Mexican Chicle to Americans as a cheaper alternative to natural rubber. Adams soon began working with chicle, trying to make car tires and rain boots.

However, after a year of work, he failed to create anything.

But just as he was about to throw all of the chicle away, he remembered that Santa Anna used to chew it and decided to pop some in his mouth. To his surprise, he found that it actually tasted good and immediately began whipping up a batch. The smoother and softer taste of the chicle gum was much more pleasing to consumers than the already existent paraffin gum, and became an instant hit. Voila! The first modern gum recipe was created!

There you have it, presumed failures that ended up being very useful in our daily lives. As you can see, a little failure now and then can go a long way.

Sources: rd.com; essortment.com; ucla.edu; agilewriter.com erowid.org

F

rom the prehistoric wheel to the modern day computer, humans have constantly absorbed new information and evolved their ideas to create or discover new things, setting us apart from any other organism on this planet. By just reflecting upon your daily routine, you will find that these discoveries are essential. Can you imagine how different your life would be without electricity? Thanks to the works of scientists like Benjamin Franklin and Alessandro Volta, you don’t have to.

Although it may seem that these big and life-changing discoveries were results of years of research and experimentation, that’s not always the case. In fact, it is surprising the amount of extraordinary findings that basically arose out of thin air.

Here are just a few examples of the mishaps or fails that led to significant discoveries:

feetures

How Not To Talk About News This is why you should pay attention to current events

Lucas Zuccolo

M

y friend mentioned the other day that jobs were dying out. I tried to explain to him that jobs aren’t really living things—they’re just something you do—so they can’t really die, but he said I should start reading a newspaper.ss Since I’m actually quite well-informed, I got pretty annoyed with his statement; I said I could tell him about any important event that happened last year. However, I didn’t want to ridicule him too much so I gave him the weekend to do some research and make sure he knew more or less what he was talking about. And I thought I knew all the important news, but I knew he would probably look up something obscure to ask me about, so I went and read more about such matters.

There was a lot of important stuff this year. I mean, like, take this whole “Arab Spring” deal. It wasn’t even Spring! I mean, it started in December, which is Summer, not Spring. Or... wait - there’s that whole hemisphere thing, isn’t there?

Like, up in the Northern Hemisphere it would be Winter, because of, you know, the sun and all... so maybe over at wherever those Arab countries are it was Spring that time of year. I mean, because they’re over in the east and all. Yeah, that’s probably it. I guess it makes sense then.

So let’s look at something else. Like... oh, I know, that Bin Aladdin guy. So apparently he was this terrorist guy, and the US finally killed him. But... The guy on Fox who gave the news was Obama, and he said Osama (they were probably, like, distant cousins or something, that’s why their names are so similar) was buried at sea. But you can’t bury anyone, or anything, in the water! Just think about it—to bury means to put in the ground and stuff like that. But the ocean is full of water, not dirt. Really, you’d think the president of the United States would at least use, like, a dictionary when he makes his speeches.

But it wasn’t just the news that was screwed up; the reporters were usually really bad at giving the news. I mean, look at Japan. There was a tsunami over there, and a bunch of people probably died and all. But all the writers ever talked about was some guy named Fukushima. Okay, sure, he seems

to have been some bigshot, head of some energy company or something like that, but he’s just one guy. Those news people really ought to show everyone who was affected.

And speaking of important people during the tsunami, there was also this Richter guy. Best I can tell, it’s the same guy that was over at New Zealand when they had an earthquake, and then later at Turkey. I mean, poor bloke, he’s got some curse on him or something. He’s always there when these types of things happen. Terrible luck.

Ah, but of course, the news doesn’t focus just on people. Companies and businesses make headlines, too. Take for instance this one place, Amy’s Winehouse, if I’m not mistaken. They’d only been open for 27 years or so, but I guess they must’ve served some really good drinks, because it was all over the news when they closed.

Speaking of places, there was also a lot of commotion on Wall Street. Apparently a bunch of people wanted to occupy it, so they stayed in Zuccotti Park.

That’s something I just don’t get. I mean, if you want to live on Wall Street, just buy a house there, instead of staying at a park. I mean, if it’s so empty that people acwordpress.com tually have to start an entire movement just to occupy the place, the property there must be pretty cheap, right?

Oh, yeah, and don’t even get me started on money.

There was a lot going on in economics. But it all seemed so silly. For example, there was this whole deal with the US and a company called S&P. I guess S&P is the American authority on batteries or something, because they decided to change from triple-A to double-A. I really don’t know why this received so much attention. I mean, it’s not really a big deal. Most stuff nowadays runs on rechargeable batteries, and besides, changing from AAA to AA batteries isn’t really a big deal. It’s just the size that changes a little bit.

So you see, I do know everything of importance that happened. For some reason, people get this idea that I’m misinformed, but in truth, I’m always tuned to what’s going on.

Source: bbc.co.uk

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NBA Futility

The biggest fails ofthe season so far Kyle Bissel

A

Green would be out for the season because of heart complications. They went on a four-game winning streak against quality teams like the Pacers and the Magic but then gave up a win against the Cavs. I blame their lack of success on the schedule that makes it especially difficult for a team that depends on a starting line-up with four players well over 30. Mind you that they picked up through the exceptional play of team captain Paul Pierce while star point guard Rajon Rondo was out with a wrist injury for many games. Is there hope for this team? I believe so. In the 2009-2010 season everyone thought this group was done, yet they reached Game 7 of the NBA Finals. This of New York Knicks course may be just a biased speculation, so only time will tell.

Up until the trade deadline of last season, everyone Los Angeles Lakers speculated where the Denver Nuggets’ superstar Carmelo AnThe only thing that has comforted me as I watch my thony would land. Then, when the answer was New York, fans Celtics team is seeing that the rival team, the Lakers, are all over were outraged over the fact that, like in Miami, two of having their own struggles. Kobe Bryant has played incredibly the leagues’ most talented players (this includes Amar’e Stouwell and he is currently leading the league in scoring but most demire) were going to be playing on one team. Now halfway of his team cannot say the same. Bynum is improving but Ron through their first “full” season together, it is being questioned Artest (Metta World Peace?) and Gasol are not playing as they whether they will even make the playoffs, let alone bring the have played in the past. What must be even more painful is Knicks another title after about forty years of waiting. The adthat they aren’t even top dogs in their own city now that the dition of a current NBA champion, center Tyson Chandler, was Los Angeles Clippers have turned L.A into Lob City through the supposed to add to their subpar defense but this has not led play of Chris Paul and Blake Griffin. They, like the Celtics, can to any evident success. Of course, the Knicks are still waiting turn this around, but at the moment it seems like Kobe is going on Baron Davis to reach full health but with two players like to have a hard time tying with Michael Jordan for most NBA Stoudemire and Anthony, this was not supposed to be a problem. titles this year.

Boston Celtics Dallas Mavericks As a C’s fan, it pains me greatly to add my beloved These guys aren’t terrible; they’re just not living up team to this list, but there is no denying that the Celtics seem to expectations. They have the pressure of being the current to be gassed in terms of their once proud veteran core. This was NBA Champions, and teams like OKC (Oklahoma City) and the not helped by the news that the important back-up player Jeff Nuggets breathing down their necks. All they have done is fallen under the weight of expectations.

Orlando Magic Unfortunately for this team, they were doomed from the start of this season due to All-Star center Dwight Howard’s seemingly eminent departure. They started well but have gone through a terrible stretch which has led to Howard becoming more and more discontent. I believe it will be a miracle if he re-signs.

Washington Wizards This team is just hard to watch. They’ve picked up slightly after the firing of their head coach Flip Saunders, but for most of the season they have easily been the worst team in the league. This is a fail but not a surprising one. Hopefully players like McGee and Wall will get back some of the respect shatterthebackboard.com for this team that is already the subject of punch-lines, but that seems doubtful for this season. s I write this, about five weeks into the shortened NBA regular season, I think of how much of a fail the whole thing is. Teams that, in my opinion, thrived through the use of training camp have been doomed by this hellish, grueling schedule where double-headers (games that are played on backto-back days) are the norm and triple-headers are something teams are forced to endure. That being said, much of what I consider fails are just a product of the overall failure of the NBA Lockout. Here’s the list:

26 • the talon

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Evolution of the Football Helmet Why do we need good head protection anyway?

Kevin Wolfson

F

ootball players, correct me if I’m wrong, but I assume that when you strap on a football helmet, you get this animal feeling; a desire for carnage. You’re bracing yourself to head into a fight, into battle. For some reason, you feel stronger, tougher. Even though football is just a game, it is a physical game, and injuries are bound to occur. Especially when the players in this game want carnage!

How is it that football players can play this aggressive game and keep themselves from injuries? Well, they use safety equipment. The most essential piece of equipment that football players have in their locker is the helmet. This handy little tool protects the body’s most important area while allowing the player to fully play his game. In the NFL, the players suffer hits to the head with over 150 g’s of force on a regular basis. Think about it like this: an average human being can withstand 8 g’s before blacking out. Either these men are a blend of human and rhinoceros, or the helmet does a terrific job of keeping the players alive.

Although it seems like helmets are the ultimate protection for NFL players, they haven’t always been required. Actually, it was only 60 years ago that helmets became mandatory for college and professional football. Back then, players wore a different kind of helmet. In 1939, John T. Riddell along with his son invented the first plastic football helmet. Unfortunately, this helmet had many problems: it shattered quite easily when suffering direct impact, the bar that held the mask close to the face would pop loose often, and so on. These problems caused Riddell to suspend the manufacture of his helmet for quite a while.

Nevertheless, that didn’t mean that progress and research didn’t continue on head protection for football players.

Actually, it went a really long way. I’m about to show you the awesome technology that is in the latest NFL helmets today.

Let me introduce to you the Revo Speed Helmet created

by Riddell Helmet Company. Currently priced at US$250, this helmet has more technology in it that our TI-84’s. This helmet

has “Revolution Concussion Reduction Technology,” Riddell’s new technology aimed at reducing the amount of concussions players suffer while playing football.

Dr. Daniel E. Kraft, specialist in concussion management at the Indianapolis-based Methodist Sports Medicine, has this explanation of concussions: ““You have to have an injury, a force to the head. The second part of the equation is that you have to have a symptom of some kind … headaches, blurred vision, amnesia … . [It] doesn’t matter if it’s only one of [the symptoms]; you have a concussion.”

Currently, high school football players across the United States suffer between 43,000 and 67,000 concussions each year, and this is not the kind of data that anyone wants to see rise. Concussions can lead to serious brain damage, which can affect memory and judgment, and cause nausea and vomiting.

So, what is this new helmet going to do about all of these concussions? The aim of Riddell’s new helmet is to typepad.com reduce, not to eliminate concussions. Many experts say that it is impossible to eliminate concussions from football because of the very nature of the game: it involves tackling, physical strength and stress imposed upon the necks, spines, and heads of the players. Eliminating concussions is almost impossible. So to eliminate it, Riddell’s helmet incorporated an ingenious design: they are now using airbag-like shock absorbers to replace the traditional helmet foam that was used in previous models—this new model is aimed to reduce concussions by up to 31% since it allows the human cranium to still have space to move around inside the head, but reduces the amount of G forces inflicted upon it when the player is hit.

Riddell is not the only one in the fight to protect football players across the United States. Other companies like Xenith are also developing new technologies on a regular basis to eliminate the possibility of injury. So, I guess NFL players aren’t really a blend of humanoceros, they are just really well protected!

the talon • 27

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The Big Game Super Bowl 46: A recounting of my experiences Rafael Rocha

W

elcome to Indianapolis and Super Bowl XLVI.” The message from the airports’ workers was clear from the very beginning of what would wind up to be one of the most entertaining weekend of my life. As I disembarked, I looked around and noticed every billboard, advertisement and little corner of the airport had something to do with the big game. It seemed like a dream. My lack of sleep didn’t faze me. After all, It was the Super Bowl. It was in Indiana. I was there. Words to describe it? Some come close: Unreal, impalpable, dreamlike...

As I made my way into downtown Indianapolis, I could tell that this town was breathing Super Bowl.

The cab driver, a middle-aged man from East Africa, greeted us in the typically polite fashion from the Hoosier state. In his many years there, he said he had never seen the downtown bustling as it was during that weekend. My eyes confirmed his words: the downtown, although compact and nowhere near as impressive as other American cities I have been to, was just as lively as say, New York. Actually, let me rephrase that: it was more lively than NYC during rush hour. For the sake of comparison, the visitors and residents of Indy simply wanted to make the most out of a city that was the temporary home to thousands of NFL fans across the U.S. and the world. They were not in a rush, and instead wanted to spend time outdoors entertaining and enjoying themselves in the hype of the pre-game festivities.

These weren’t a bunch of distressed and obnoxious New Yorkers in a rush to get back home. Ironically, there were thousands of Giants fans who made their trip from NY to Indiana, but the Midwest taught them to take things the easy way, it seemed.

The hospitality and the unique charm of the people of Indiana was truly remarkable, and even the most unpleasant and loudmouth New Yorker had to give in to it.

The night before the Super Bowl, the “NFL Village” was packed with swarms of people. When it got dark, we made our way into the Bankers Life Fieldhouse to watch an NBA game.

This was not your average basketball game though, since you could see just as many football jerseys as basketball jerseys in the stands. Although the away team won, the game was just an afterthought in comparison to what would be happening

28 • the talon

in less than 24 hours. All you had to do was listen to Giants and Patriots fans battling it out for which of the two had the loudest fans in the arena.

After a tiring day with nonstop action from the early morning to the late evening, it was time to go back to the hotel. Nothing would stand between me and a soft bed to rest, or at least I thought so. Just outside of the hotel, Sportscenter, ESPN’s Emmy-award winning show, was being filmed. A crowd of rabid football fans gathered next to the show’s hosts. I could identify several faces, such as Stuart Scott, Chris Berman, and even three-time Super Bowl Champion Steve Young. The most entertaining part was when the camera panned to the fans. Everyone wanted Rafael Rocha to make it on TV; as one of the Giants fans there stated, “This is something I’m showing my grandchildren if I’m on tape!” That scene was the icing on the cake for what had been a more than eventful day for me.

February 5th, 2012. Game day was finally here. The hotel was buzzing with energy. After a stroll through the NFL Village one last time before it returned to just being downtown Indianapolis, it was time for the Tailgate Party. As I arrived, just to my left I noticed the authentic Vince Lombardi trophy, which would be handed to the Super Bowl champion in a few hours.

It was much smaller than I envisioned, but at the same time it was brighter, glossier, and more polished. I even got to have a memorable picture of myself taken next to the Lombardi.

That was one for the ages. With a show by Lenny Kravitz, an authentic American BBQ, and loads of entertainment, it was truly a sight to behold.

Just about two hours before kickoff, we made our way into the Lucas Oil Stadium. And man, was it a great stadium. I doubt the stadium is always as extravagant and decorated as it was for the Super Bowl, but the infrastructure, the retractable roof, as well as the acoustics were off the charts.

As kickoff neared, the stadium slowly but surely became full. And then it was time. The lights. The sounds. The national anthem. The team introductions. It was marvelous, and it could give even the most ignorant sports fan goosebumps.

And so it was kickoff time. The rest? It’s in the history books now.

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Super Pictures From our on-the-scene reporter Rafael Rocha

the talon • 29

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Sports Bridesmaids Teams that always lose

Andrea Ferreira

H

peated loss. Since then, the Bills have faded into obscurity, failing to enter the finals again. The only cure to this disease is to keep working hard and to keep hoping for the big win.

Take for example Major League Baseball’s Chicago Cubs. Their last World Series title was over a century ago. As a team now known for losing (they’re nickname is the “Lovable Losers”), most fans would have given up hope of ever winning again. The Cubs however have kept trying, even after a losing drought spanning five generations (the longest in the history of North American professional sports).

Another example of a “positive” bridesmaid is the soccer powerhouse Germany. They hold the title for most finishes in the top two and the top three of the World Cup. However three times they did succeed in capitalizing and winning the prestigious cup. Any team finding themselves in a rut can find inspiration in this soccer team, which consistently performs well despite often finishing second-best.

As unfortunate as being a sports bridesmaid is, instead of mourning the loss players should use this frustration as motivation. Put a picture of the opposing team up on the wall as a reminder to work hard in practice (like the USA women’s national team after a semi-final loss to Norway) and never give up on dreams of being a champion. Sooner or later the bridesmaid will catch the bouquet.

Yasmin Della Nina

ave you ever wanted something so bad you could already taste the victory? In English thesaying “always the bridesmaid, never the bride” refers to people that always come close to something without ever actually getting to experience it themselves, like the poor bridesmaid who never gets her own wedding. This saying can also apply to a sports team that seems permanently stuck in second place, always getting in the finals but never becoming the champions. It’s hard enough suffering a crushing defeat in the finals once; imagine losing year after year. It goes without saying that these chronic sports bridesmaids are a talented bunch, and often the favorites to win, but it seems like when it comes to the most important game something always goes wrong. Whether it is an injury to a key player, cold feet, or sheer bad luck these teams always seem to have victory slip from their hands. The bridesmaid’s curse strikes teams at every level and no sport is exempt from it.

The prime example of this can be found with American football giants the Buffalo Bills. This team dominated in the early 1990s. In fact they still hold the record for most consecutive Super Bowl appearances, making a run of four straight years in a row (1990-1994), Super Bowls XXV-XXVIII. Unfortunately, they also hold the title for most consecutive losses, losing all four times.

Buffalo is a good example of how teams react to re-

30 • the talon

The Talon

2012-2013 Staff Application

C ut a l on g th is l in e , n e a tl y.

I

t is time to select the dedicated, intelligent, and creative group of students to lead The Talon through its twelfth year.

Interested in joining the staff of sophomores, juniors, and seniors? Are you curious? Do you like to write? Can you keep deadlines? Read and complete this application carefully, giving all elements to either Mr. Berg or Ms. Pfeiffer on or before Monday, April 16, 16:00. (You will be evaluated in part by how well you follow these directions and meet our deadline.)

In addition to this application form, you must submit one article and attach any accompanying JPEG images to be published in Edition 89 (the June edition, our last of the year) for any of the magazine’s sections, preferably the section in which you are most interested. If you are only interested in a non-writing position, send submissions of your art/photography instead of an article. The theme for Edition 89 is Animal Vegetable Mineral. (See the back for more details, and follow them closely.) If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask one of the current Editors-in-Chief (Andrea/Panda or Artur) or the advisors.

Family Name

First Name Circle your current grade level:

9

10

11

Who is your current English Teacher?

What positions would you like to apply for? All staff members are required to submit to the magazine each month.

All Talon positions require the ability to meet deadlines, but some require more than that: the four section editors— News, Features, Entertainment, and Sports—are in charge of a team of fellow students; effective and demonstrated leadership, communication, initiative, and editing skills are essential for those positions. Rank your three top choices from 1 to 3, with 1 being the position you would most like. _____ Editor-in-Chief (the big boss: organized, wise, collaborative, involved, and skilled at verbal and written communication; besides running meetings and keeping watch over the other editors, the EIC writes an opening piece each month, and is in charge of the POV section; this job requires coming to school one Sunday a month for Final Editing Day) _____ Layout Editor (the format god, who works to design a clear, consistent, engaging layout in Adobe inDesign; the Layout Editor also must come to school one Sunday a month for Final Editing Day) _____ News Editor _____ Assistant News Editor _____ Features Editor _____ Assistant Features Editor _____ Entertainment Editor _____ Assistant Entertainment Editor _____ Sports Editor C ut a l on g th is l in e , n e a tl y.

_____ Assistant Sports Editor _____ Photo Editor (puts together the inside back cover each month; has skills in both photography and page design; called on by section editors to take pictures for articles) _____ Columnist (an experienced junior or senior, who contributes a monthly piece under the same column name in the POV section, such as an opinion piece, a chronica, or a personal experience tied to the monthly theme) _____ Blogger (editor of Talonline, who makes brief but regular online posts of text and photos) _____ Cover Artist (the face of the magazine, who, with guidance from the EIC, creates and produces the front and back covers, along with the monthly poster advertising the theme) _____ Reporter (you must indicate your preference in order by placing 1, 2, 3, 4 in front of the section name: ( ) News, (

) Features, (

) Entertainment, (

) Sports.

List your planned academic schedule for next year, the classes and IB level, if applicable: 1. ________________________________________

Current staff members or contributors: List your articles that were published this school year.

Edition 81: Serendipity

3. ________________________________________

Edition 82: Metamorphosis

4. ________________________________________ 5. ________________________________________

Edition 83: The New Thang

6. ________________________________________ 7. ________________________________________

Edition 84: Nerds

8. ________________________________________ Not including The Talon, list in order of priority and time commitment the extracurricular activities in which you plan to participate next year: 1. ________________________________________

Edition 85: Cliches

C ut a l on g th is l in e , n e a tl y.

2. ________________________________________

Edition 86: Fail

2. ________________________________________ 3. ________________________________________

Edition 87: Blank Slate

4. ________________________________________ 5. ________________________________________

Edition 88: Seniors

Please answer the following questions on a separate sheet of paper, attach to this application form, and ALSO email it to The Talon (talon@graded.br).

1. What could you contribute to the Talon? Explain your experience, interests, and skills by giving specific examples that demononstrate them.

2. If you are a current staff member, explain why you would be good at the particular positions to which you are applying.

In addition to this form and the above responses, you are also required to submit a well-written 750-900 word article as part of your application, preferably for the section for which you are applying. Besides your name, please include a title and subtitle to the article, and its word count, and attach one JPEG photograph or image that would accompany the piece—remember to cite the source of any borrowed material whether ideas or images. In addition to attaching the hard copy to this appplication form, send these elements electronically, as attachments, to talon@ graded.br by 16:00, Monday, 16 April. In the body of the email, make it clear 1) who you are and 2) what three positions you are applying to. (Note that if you are applying to a photographic or artistic position, submit to the Talon advisors a portfolio of your work that you think demonstrates your skills.)

Name Signature E-mail (write this neatly, please)

Date Telephone

C ut a l on g th is l in e , n e a tl y.

3. If appointed to a position, what specific ideas do you have to enhance the magazine and its role in the Graded community?