Ed. Nerds

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Published monthly, The Talon strives to be an innovative student magazine that is entertaining, intellectually provocative, and visually engaging. We are conscious of the responsibility of writing and publishing, and we seek to create a dynamic magazine that is worthy of its readers. We show respect for our readers by exposing them to a variety of perspectives.

Ultimately, The Talon seeks to bring Graded to the world and the world to Graded.

The Talon wants to hear from you! We encourage submissions and ideas for articles and themes from all members of the Graded community. We publish in English, Portuguese, French, and Spanish. We reserve the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. The opinions expressed in the articles are those of the writers and not necessarily of The Talon. For this reason, we do not accept anonymous submissions. Send submissions, ideas, and themes to talon@graded.br.

TALON STAFF 2011-2012 EDITORS-IN-CHIEF: Andrea Estrada & Artur Renault LAYOUT EDITOR: Isabella Zevallos NEWS: Yana Ahlden (Editor), Courtney Villeneuve (Assistant Editor), Daniel Almeida, Mendel Schwarz FEATURES: Ho Jun Yang (Editor), Adam Hunt Fertig (Assistant Editor), Mariana Lepecki, Lucas Zuccolo ENTERTAINMENT: Julia Wu (Editor), Ines Gil (Assistant Editor), Kevin Bengtsson, Yasmin Della Nina SPORTS: Kyle Bissell (Editor), Kevin Wolfson (Assistant Editor), Andrea Ferreira, Rafa Rocha COLUMNISTS: Maria Alas, Carol Di Roberto, Julia Abreu BLOGGERS: Camille Saliba & Paty Kim COVER: Dani Reis PHOTOGRAPHER: Nicole Vladimirschi ▪ ▪ ▪ TEACHER ADVISORS: Josh Berg & Mary Pfeiffer PORTUGUESE LANGUAGE CONSULTANT: Maggie Moraes ▪ ▪ ▪ E-mail: talon@graded.br Blog: http://tal-on-line.blogspot.com

Oedipus, Edgar Allan Poe, Lady Macbeth, Randle McMurphy from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Hester Prynne from The Scarlet Letter, Jordan Baker from The Great Gatsby, and Holden Caulfield.

Braaaaaaaaiiiiiiiins!

They may be dead, and may want to eat your brains, but zombie English teachers dressed as literary figures still hate clichés. Want to hurt their ears and sensibilities? Recite this list to them: “Easier said than done...face the music...beyond a shadow of a doubt...in my comfort zone...to be there for someone... take the bull by the horns...safe and sound...break out of her shell...pure love...eyes are the windows to the soul...vicious cycle...any way, shape, or form...hopes and dreams...life will go on...add insult to injury...better late than never...brought back to reality...crushing blow...it the nail on the head...ripe old age...sneaking suspicion...stand in awe...strong as an ox!”

Although it was a theme that English teachers and Talon advisors Mr. Berg and Ms. Pfeiffer have been able to sideline for over six years, Clichés is the focus of our next edition. The challenge? How to talk about clichés without being clichéd...

We be green: Since August 2007, The Talon has been printed on recycled paper. Reduce, reuse, recycle!

nerds-in-chief

Post-Dinner Conversation My siblings’ take on nerds and the reflection that followed Andrea Estrada

Y

es, but there’s a really annoying kid,” was my seven yearold brother’s answer after the first week of school when I asked him if he liked his new classmates.

“Why is he annoying?”

“Because he’s, like, a nerd.”

“I’m a nerd, am I annoying?” I answered confrontationally.

“No. Urgh, you’re not a nerd. It’s because he talks like (high pitched voice and obnoxious smile) ‘Oh my god, two plus two is four.’” We all laugh.

“You’re not a nerd. Not like, the typical kind of nerd,” adds my twelve year-old brother, addressing me.

“What’s a ‘typical kind of nerd’ to you?”

“Someone who only knows how to talk about school and grades and World of Warcraft,” he explains.

“And who looks and dresses like a nerd,” adds the youngest.

“And how’s that?” I ask.

“Fat. With pants up to here (he points above his bellybutton), glasses, a yellow shirt—” “So if he’s not wearing a yellow shirt he’s not a nerd?” interrupts the older one (just to annoy him) and he clarifies, “Plus, nerds are skinny and weak. I picture someone with a pencil and a calculator in his shirt pocket.”

“Oh, so if he doesn’t carry a pencil and a calculator in his shirt pocket he’s not a nerd?” I ask in return to his smart answer to my little brother.

“You know what I mean,” he answers as he laughs and rolls his eyes.

Our conversation over dinner continued as they spent a few more minutes arguing over the typical “look” of a nerd.

Eventually they concluded the shirt didn’t need to be a specific color and the person could be skinny or fat, but there was a certain nerd quality in the person’s style that would remain the same: social awkwardness.

They also went on to argue with me that I was not a nerd, at all. I told them I’d always been studious and liked talking about school and grades, but my twelve year-old brother answered something along the lines of, “OK, that just means you’re intelligent. You actually have a life, nerds don’t.” Ouch, I thought. Nerds do have a life.

“Really? I have a life? Because you spend a significant amount of time complaining that I’m always in my room doing homework,” I answered, to which he responded by saying I knew he was kidding when he said that. But hey, I even considered choosing the “Celebrate your nerdy side” prompt for the Tufts application supplement, so there must be some nerd in me.

The point is, the conversation started off trivial, but

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for some reason it really got to me. It got me thinking about the perception my little brothers have of their classmates and how it seemed to be powerful enough to impair them from seeking out these so-called “nerds.” But more so, it got me thinking about the number of contradictions that this topic brought forth.

At some point I asked my brothers if they thought nerds could be cool. The 2nd grader said Andrea Estrada they were cool when they helped him with math and that they were cool because they were so honest. I did not ask for clarification, but while I appreciated that he valued their honesty, I wondered why all the negative characteristics were powerful enough to make him speak so insensitively of nerds. The 7th grader said they could be cool only when they did or said something that made them “fit in.” I asked him what he meant and he said that he had friends that were nerds because although they were sometimes socially awkward they still weren’t “full-on nerds.”

As I remembered this conversation in August, I decided to ask my little brother if he was now friends with the “annoying kid” he’d complained about on the first week of school—he said he was. While it had angered me to hear my brothers speak so rudely of nerds, I realized they were not really referring to people they knew. Today when I re-opened the nerd dinner conversation, they both told me they were actually friends with these nerdy kids, but they still criticized the typical nerd stereotype.

The contradictions are what bother me. We all value those people that seem to fit the nerd stereotype in our community—those we actually know—as worthy people because, in spite of their social awkwardness, they are worthy. Yet, regardless of the stereotypical nerd, we have a hundred other types of people (like myself) that do not fit the stereotype and are still called or claim to be nerds because they do well in school. Nevertheless, we still speak of “nerds” in a degrading way; the image we get in our heads is a similar one to what my little brothers described. So in the end, what’s it going to be?

Is anyone 100% nerd and, ultimately, what is nerd?

nerds-in-chief

The Modern Gordian Knot The magic of the Rubik’s Cube

Artur Renault

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f one were to pick an object that represents nerdiness, it would probably be a book, a calculator, or some other academically-oriented tool. But what some people forget to realize is that nerddom encompasses much more than a love of learning and an obsession with academic success—it is a way of life. Nerds watch certain movies, have certain hobbies, and enjoy certain things that the general population does not.

I will discuss one of the most notable and esoteric of all nerdy toys: the Rubik’s Cube.

In description, it sounds quite simple. It is a plastic cube of about five by five by five centimeters. Each side of this cube has nine squares of different colors— classically: blue, red, white, yellow, orange, and green— and the objective of the Rubik’s Cube is to group the squares of each color on one side of the cube. Anybody who has tried this finds out that the apparently simple task is quite a challenge to the uninformed attempter.

With every twist, a previously placed color is moved, and all the work done up to that point is ruined.

This dilemma has stumped newbies all over the world for the past thirty-seven years. Hungarian inventor and architect Ernő Rubik first developed the Rubik’s cube in 1974. While it was widely thought that Rubik created the cube to help his students at the Budapest Academy of Arts and Crafts understand 3D space, he really sought to find a way to reorganize the parts of a structure without dismantling it. Once he scrambled his creation and found it difficult to unscramble, he realized he had created a puzzle. He licensed it to Ideal Toy Corp in 1980, which initially sold the cube in Hungary and soon spread it all over the world. The cube became a commercial success, achieving great success throughout the eighties. Since then, the cube has gone in and out of style. Today, it is beloved by a cult following of nerds.

Members of this cult following are not only capable of solving the elusive puzzle; they also strive to solve it at the fastest possible speeds. While some spend a lifetime trying to solve a cube, the world record for solving a standard Rubik’s cube is 5.66 seconds by fifteen-year old Feliks Zemdegs of Australia. Video of this impossibly fast solve is available on YouTube. Experienced speedcubers like Zemdegs often look to the more challenging variations of the Rubik’s cube that have

been created over the years. These include Rubik’s Revenge (a 4x4x4 variation of the cube), the Professor’s Cube (5x5x5), and Rubik’s 360 (a spherical version).

Some Graded students were interviewed about how quickly they can solve a Rubik’s Cube. Claire Salmon, senior, said she once solved it in 40 minutes. Gabriel da Nóbrega, also a senior, said he forgot how, but was once capable of solving a cube in five to six minutes.

I can solve 3x3x3 in a minute and a half and a 4x4x4 in about five minutes. As with most of the population, the majority of Graded students claimed to be unable to solve a Rubik’s cube without removing the stickers.

Incidentally, that is the worst way at cheating on a en.wikipedia.org Rubik’s Cube—if you remove the stickers, they will lose their glue and you will ruin your cube. The best way to cheat a Rubik’s Cube is by twisting one side halfway and using a knife to remove the middle piece of one of the edges of that side. The cube will then become easy to disassemble and rebuild. For those who seek to solve a Rubik’s Cube without actually solving it, that is the way to go.

The sticker cheat is just one of the misconceptions about Rubik’s Cubes—here are some hints that may help you solve one. First of all, a Rubik’s Cube is a very mathematical puzzle. Some people think that the way to solve one is to somehow undo each move that scrambled it. This is not true; there are strategies to solving a Rubik’s Cube, and these can easily be learned online. These strategies are based on algorithms, or sequences of moves that change a piece’s location on the cube without affecting the work done so far. These are the key to solving a Rubik’s Cube—with a bit of practice, they are easy to memorize, learn, and eventually understand.

Learning to solve a Rubik’s Cube through the Internet might seem like an easy way out,but it isn’t; memorizing the algorithms takes quite some dedication. This exercise eventually develops into a logical understanding of the Rubik’s Cube and better logical reasoning in life. So I encourage you: go on YouTube and try to learn how to solve a Rubik’s Cube. Not only will it impress your friends, it could make you smarter and, who knows, make you a better nerd.

Source used in this article: inventors.about.com

the talon • 3

nerds-in-chief

The Talon Top Ten Signs that you might be a Graded nerd Artur Renault & Andrea Estrada Weekends are an exciting opportunity to get all your homework done. Friday is approaching, and you’re excited.

Because of all the “partying partying, yeah?” No! You’re excited because you’ll finally have time to get all that homework you’re behind on, done. You’ll work for twelve hours a day, feel extremely productive, and have no more homework during that whole week. Right? But then you realize…

You OPVL every story you hear. OMG! Joey just told you that Jack hooked up with Jill at that party last Friday. But wait… Joey is known for making up stories. And he probably just told you because he wants to make you jealous. It’s definitely not a reliable source. This only makes you wonder why you are so good at this in real life but fail all of your IB History Paper Ones.

Weekends are not an exciting opportunity to get all your homework done. TGIF! You get to go home and get some assignments out of the way so Saturday and Sunday are homework-free. Never mind, you realize this task is impossible and tell yourself it will all get done Saturday morning. Oops, that doesn’t work out either. Consumed by partying, sleeping, movies, eating, and hours of daydreaming, you leave it all for Sunday night, but you produce quality work anyhow.

You listen to songs about mathematical equations.YouTube has given people all over the world the opportunity to waste time filming random videos. While many are thankful for the entertainment these provide, you are thankful that this has given other nerds (or students reluctant to actually do their math studying) the opportunity to write songs about mathematical equations. After math class with Ms. Doro, you leave with: “The Quotient Rule Song” stuck in your head “Low d-high, minus high d-low, square the bottom and away we go . . .”

You think the fact that the desks are whiteboards is the coolest thing ever. The new thang has not gotten old yet. We are three months into the school year and you still get butterflies every time you get to draw on those desks. The thrill of it is less intense, but you still feel cool as the not-so-new habit becomes common and natural in the Graded classroom environment. You love taking notes on desks and taking a quick picture with your phone instead of wasting paper.

You had no trouble picking clothes for nerd day.

Frantically borrowing clothes from Artur Renault or Isa Zevallos the day before? Never! It is all in your wardrobe already. You cannot contain the excitement and have a hard time choosing between all your different sets of overalls and glasses.

Wouldn’t it be great if this glorious day extended itself into Nerd Week?

Facebook is a homework discussion website, not a social network. Next to “relationship status” there should be a spot where you add your “homework status.” Most people would have “procrastinating” or “in need of help.” Because let’s face it—for you, Facebook is no longer a place for gossip, fun, and sharing. It’s a place to find out what tomorrow’s Physics homework is and to discuss some of the answers you got. It doesn’t help, though, that you have access to the entertaining details of everyone’s social life on the same website.

You annotate on every plane ride. Your airplane seat neighbor keeps looking over bewildered at the little notes you keep writing on the margins. They catch you distracting yourself with the movie playing on their screen and probably think you’re crazy because, instead of choosing a movie to play on your own screen, you obediently return to your annotated book.

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You read The Talon and don’t skip to Trivialities or Overheard at Graded. Many members of the Graded community claim the Talon is only valuable for those two articles. Nerds value the Talon for everything it is—a collection of beautifully written pieces by a stall of full-time Talon nerds. They do so because they want to learn and explore the wealth of knowledge that is our school’s monthly magazine. Yeah, nerds are awesome.

You noticed that the numbers on this page skipped 7.The bullets in this Top 10 list are enigmatic and very nerdy.

If you’re nerdy enough, you noticed that we skipped seven, making this, technically, the Talon Top Eleven. Really, just the fact that you took the time to verify the value of all the mathematical expressions we used makes you a nerd. If not, you’ve just fallen for one of our classic pranks. Bazinga!

point of view

Time to Nerd Out on Things Do we have any at all?

Maria Fernanda Alas reserved for sleeping in order to do the things we like, and we do this happily when we watch our favorite TV shows, or write a new song on the guitar. But we feel the consequences when our alarm goes off the next morning, and the one thing that could make the world feel like a perfect place is just a little more time.

A little more time to finish that project you’ve been putting off wouldn’t hurt, or a little more time on Twitter could even do you good. A little more time on YouTube could allow you to stumble upon your next favorite song, or a little more time on StumbleUpon could save you a few more days of life from the physical benefits of laughing. A few more minutes of lunch could give you the pleasure of savoring every bite, or spending a little more time playing soccer in the covered court.

More time during the game could have been the key to making the winning goal, or maybe we wish there was more time on Sundays to give way for procrastination.

We all want time because it gives us the means to finish what we need to, do what we like, and spend time with those we want to be with. It is our most essential ingredient for doing things, and it is one of the tools we have no control of. But as insufficient as it may seem at some moments—or always—the good thing about time is that as long as we’re breathing it won’t run out.

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raded kids like to do things—whether playing soccer, basketball, golf, tennis, the guitar, watching intellectual indie films, reading every book by Jodi Picoult, playing COD, or making plans for the weekend. On top of all that, we have school work that has the capacity of keeping us busy for mor than a few hours. Aside from simply nerding out on academics, we nerd out in a million other things which aren’t necessarily our extra-curricular activities. The different hobbies we see people take on at Graded extraordinary because we don’t necessarily attend an academically light school. To nerd out in all of these things, we need time, so we are always craving for more of it.

I want more time in the mornings before my alarm goes off, and I want more time at night before I’m too tired to be productive. I want more time before the end of Saturday, and just a few more minutes of break to get coffee. I want more time to write college applications and a little more time of that really funny movie I hope doesn’t end. I wouldn’t mind more time to read the books I want to read, or a few more days of vacation.

Being a student at Graded forces us to feel the lack of time in a 24-hour day. The only instances in which we feel like time is endless are on those last eighty minutes before 3:10 pm on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays (not Wednesdays because the endless eighty minutes come before 2:40). But what is 3:10 good for when it only signals the beginning of a new race: to finish homework after our extra-curricular activities and find time to eat. Oh, and sleep. But there’s coffee to save us from that one.

I know a few Graded upperclassmen that can afford to be in bed before 10 p.m., and do so religiously. In order for them to accomplish this, they’re required to always use their free block productively and get home straight after their activities, start their work and go nonstop (except maybe to have dinner). This is astonishing to me because being in bed at 10 means possibly missing the new Modern Family episode—which is a crazy idea. Or not getting that half hour of leisure reading before bed. Most of us feel comfortable taking away the time

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the talon • 5

point of view

The Moodie Foodie A second Santa Claus

Carolina di Roberto

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as something ever evoked a memory that seems so distant, yet so close to you? That’s what I feel when I think of Nerds. The candy, that is.

Nerds were my childhood. Okay, real life nerds were pretty wonderful, too. They were so dorky and cute, I loved them. I guess I was one, too. But Nerds, the candy, were my childhood.

First of all, they’re made from the most wonderful factory in the entire world: Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory!

I remember first moving to the States, and watching the 1971 version of the movie. I didn’t understand squat, but all the chocolate and sweets made watching the movie worthwhile. Whenever I went to supermarkets (and that was quite often), I would go to the candy section, find the Willy Wonka section, and imagine the magical world that all that candy came from. Realizing that the factory wasn’t actually real was sort of like losing my belief in Santa Claus. Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory was a second Santa Claus to me.

Back to the delicious subject at hand: Nerds, Nerds, NERDS (this was my mental process when I finished a box of that sour and sweet goodness). I had never heard of the candy before I moved. I remember thinking that 7 Belo was the best candy out there. Boy, was I wrong.

Nerds don’t stimulate just one of your senses. They stimulate all of them. First, taste. Obviously, they taste like a paradise of strawberry and grape (these were my favorite flavors). It’s as if these fake strawberries and grapes that were used for the creation of the candy were injected with fantastical pixie dust. They probably are. Beyond taste, Nerds stimulate your hearing. I seriously knew when a person was carrying Nerds, because that specific sound moved from inside his pockets through the entire hallway. It wasn’t exactly the sound of pockets filled with coins; more like pockets with tiny colorful pebbles. Next, it stimulates your sight. The almost-miniscule box that carries Nerds is so bright and rainbow colored that it can be seen from 200 miles away. I almost feel my pupils dilating. After that, they awaken your nasal cavity. They obviously smell like mass produced, unnatural, chemically created candy.

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But surprisingly enough, they don’t smell like dog poop, as I’ve made it seem. They smell as if strawberry shortcake, cotton candy, and Hi-C Juice were mixed in a bowl, preferably a pink bowl, and placed into the Nerds box. They smell sweet and sour-perfect. And lastly, they slap your touch awake. Nerds candies are put in a cardboard box, but they sure don’t feel like that. When your hand first grabs that wonderful little box, you feel perfection flowing through you.

Somehow, even though Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory doesn’t actually exist, I feel like this unreal—but somehow imaginable—place affects the development of Nerds. That little box makes it feel as if there is an aura, or outer layer dailywaste of childhood-fun placed upon it. It’s impossible for the box to be seen and felt in any other way. I am convinced that there’s a layer of unicorns, fairy dust, and rainbow sweat on each cardboard container.

That’s exactly why Nerds made up so much of my childhood. They’re that candy that whenever you opened them, all your friends came running to you just so that you could share.

Even if you shared the flavor that you didn’t exactly like, there was still that connection between you, the box, and your friend or friends. Because honestly, you only shared Nerds with those you really cared about. Why in the world would you share one of the world’s greatest wonders with a person that you didn’t like? You might as well be slapped in the face, or thrown on muddy grass, because I’m sure that’s what sharing Nerds with your enemy would feel like.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ve had Nerds in about eight years. It seems as if they’ve disappeared, because I don’t even see them at supermarkets or drugstores anymore. Maybe they’ve died and gone to candy heaven. But regardless of their presence or lack thereof, they’re a memory that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. I’ll tell my kids about them; I’ll tell my grandkids about them; I’ll even tell my pets about them.

They’ll be that special memory that I just need to share, even if no one really understands me when I talk about rainbow sweat and pixie dust.

point of view

Nerds 4 Husbands Why you should marry a nerd

Julia Abreu

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rad Pitt, Chace Crawford, Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson. Everyone dreams of marrying the hot ones, and there is no doubt about it. However, with the world’s resources running scarce you can’t help but wonder what will become of the human race in the near future. Well, it’s during those pondering moments that the best way to survive on this planet is to go for the nerdy ones; they always know what to do.

Why should you marry a nerd?

They are incredibly adorable. I mean, how cute is someone who would rather dedicate his or her free time to indulge in a book than going out? This geeky characteristic can help you improve your intellectual skills as you give up your unneeded time at the mall and sit down next to your significant other to discuss the polemical topics of some intellectual magazine or book. Just by having this discussion, you have elevated your intelligence, which is why geeks are awesome. If you’re not so intellectual—in fact, not at all—walking around with a brainy spouse can be the solution to your problems. No more social embarrassment, because you will have someone squeezing your hand when you don’t know what to say and they want to let you know they’ve got it.

You no longer have to worry about being nervous to impress because these intellects will be equally, if not more, nervous on the first date or even every date. Both can have a fun, dorky time without it being uptight and awkward. No one likes to hide his or her weird side, but when you’re sharing your feelings with a nerd, chances are they will let it come through. Why not be weird together? Geeks have probably read enough novels and statistics to surprise you with crazy, romantic techniques, and you can be sure they won’t do it because they have to, but because they truly care about you.

Don’t expect to end up with someone with good looks, and don’t bother keeping up high-maintenance appearances.

With nerds, the outside is much less important, and they won’t get upset if you put on a few extra pounds or if you’re not wearing a very flattering outfit. They will most likely be comfortable with their dorky sense of style and will not be bothered by yours. If you want to wear sweats and an old T-shirt around the

house, you will be opening a door to their comfort, and they will probably go put on their Star Trek outfit. According to an anonymous tenth grade girl, “Even though they dress dorky, you have to admit it’s kind of sexy.” All they need is an extra push; nerds need to feel comfortable and accepted in order to let their personalities shine through.

And if you’re planning on having children, nerds make better parents.

They won’t leave the children for only you to educate. Because there are very low chances that they will leave you in the first place, your family will be intact.

Your children will always be safe, too, because nerds are extra careful with their surroundings. Don’t worry about having slacker children; the intelligent genes will be in your favor. And if they happen to come out not as intelligent as you expect, the nerd of the family will leap into action to help out.

At Graded, with all the hard work required from students, nerdy types are running freely up and down the halls. It seems like they are being more and more accepted as part of the in-crowd, so don’t be shy to love them. If you’re a Graded geek, don’t worry, later in life, marital farm1.static.flickr.com candidates will increase, for that’s just how life works. High school may not be your time to shine yet, so blame teenage blindness. But with time comes maturity, and with maturity comes wisdom. The realization that smart is best will suddenly enlighten those previously looks-based mentalities.

When looking at the big-picture, we’re all super nerdy in our individual habits, so there is no need for hating. In their own way, nerds will impress you with the tiniest details, and they won’t expect much from you. They are the ones who can revolutionize the world and make a difference. They will be the employers giving second chances to those who excluded them. They are observant and beyond smart enough to know just how many flaws each individual has, and they are okay with this fact. In the marriage campaign, nerds will keep you safe, enhance your future, raise your romantic expectations, deliver the cute factor, elevate your intellectual level, and make you realize just how special you truly are. Now, do you imagine yourself marrying a nerd?

the talon • 7

entertainment

Confessions of a Non-intellectual Nerd It’s all about passion Yasmin Della Nina

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hat is the first image that pops into your mind when you try to picture a nerd? I’m going to be perfectly honest here: I see an individual with a very doubtful clothing style that involves dull colors, high-waist shorts, longer than average socks, old-school Oxford shoes, and glasses that are bigger than his or her face. Also, he or she has very big front teeth and – the final touch – really, really greasy hair. This individual cares a lot about grades (he or she will cry if his or her GPA consists of anything below 99.9%), and he or she is also quite shy and excluded by others.

Only 0.001% of nerds live according to the above facts, and even that 0.001% is awfully relative. Nerds aren’t all that different from everybody else, and being one of them doesn’t always have to be connected to having perfect grades and a highly developed brain. In fact, I believe all of us are a little nerdy.

Every one of you dear readers has at least one thing that you know a lot about and is a source of pride to you. You hate it when someone starts questioning how much you know about this topic because, honestly, you know it all. It’s something that might seem extremely boring and insignificant to somebody else, but that to you is the epitome of awesomeness.

I most definitely have a side of myself that is nerdy.

However, one must move away from the academic-nerdy-ways to really grasp how nerdy I truly am. And let me tell you, I am a HUGE nerd. In MANY ways.

I waste time memorizing every single line from all of my favorite movies such as the Harry Potter saga, Sherlock Holmes, The Lion King, Finding Nemo, The Devil Wears Prada, Keith and so on. Then, I spend most of my lunches discussing these lines or reenacting them with my fellow nerdy friends.

I can spend an entire day quoting my favorite characters, actors, singers and YouTubers (yes, I am talking about Charlie McDonnell here) and not get tired. I can also make really bad jokes about them, and still laugh… At myself, while everyone stares at me like I’m nuts.

I know more about the history of Harry Potter than the history of my own country. I can also name all the spells and potions that exist in his world, but I can’t get a grade higher than 65% on my Physics exams.

Instead of using my free-time to do what most people would, I write books and short stories. And articles for The Talon. I also read books and short-stories. And articles from The Talon.

I follow three people on Twitter: my favorite writer, my favorite

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editor and Charlie Mcdonnell. None of them talk to me.

I know a lot of things about space, and like to research about it sometimes. I think it’s marvelous. I seem to be the only one in my Physics class to think so though, because two weeks ago when Mr. Stevens made us watch a movie about the makings of the universe, I was the only one fascinated by it, while everyone else struggled to stay awake.

I black and white movies with all my heart. I am also a huge fan of Audrey Hepburn, and always die a little inside when someone dares to tell me they don’t know who she is.

If you don’t know who she is, well, then you are a disgrace to humankind.

I have a wand in my drawer, and sometimes when I’m bored, I take it out and pretend I’m a witch.

I have a toy dog that guards my computer. Sometimes I talk to it.

Occasionally, I get paranoid that my computer has incorrectly counted the amount of words in my essay, so I count them myself. I’m not kidding. I do try to avoid doing that in public, though.

I own Luna-glasses and a Ravenclaw shirt, and they are awesome. For those of you who don’t know what either of those things are… too bad. You might as well look it up on Google, if you care.

My Internet homepage is Wikipedia.

I am a huge fan of Seth Cohen and identify with him in many ways. For all those who know who he is, you most likely understand why that’s kind of nerdy.

And now for something academic… I love English—go figure. I love writing and reading and discussing literature, and I feel like I’m pretty good at all that. I also hate it when people question my abilities in this subject, because it’s basically the only one I am really confident about. I also read some pretty nerdy, alternative books such as The Perks of Being a Wallflower

by Stephen Chbosky, Phillip Pullman’s Dark Materials, and, of course, J.K. Rowling’s Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

Obviously there are many ways one can be a nerd. One can be an academic nerd, a movie nerd, book nerd, video-game nerd, computer nerd, photography nerd, Facebook nerd, Twitter nerd, and so on. What really matters is that, if you know you’re a nerd, don’t worry! You’re not the only one. And if you still think you’re the only one, well… then at least I can assure you that I am also an example. Now, please excuse me as I return to my endeavors in the nerdy world of Yas.

news

Toss Up Question # 2012

An interview with this year’s Knowledge Bowl captain Yana Ahlden

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n the outside, they might seem just like any other Graded team. They meet in order to practice and in order to improve. They also wear the intimidating red shirts many schools hate playing against except instead of needing to sprint faster, they need to think faster. Instead of responding to unfair calls made by the referees, they need to answer tough questions posed by the moderators. Instead of hiding the fact that they are nerds, the Knowledge Bowl team embraces this status and uses it to represent Graded at the biannual tournament, held this year in Salvador, Bahia. No one knows Knowledge Bowl better at Graded than its captain, Artur Renault, who has been part of the team since his freshman year. To get a better understanding of the nerdiest of Graded nerds, we asked him a few questions.

The Talon: Describe the current Knowledge Bowl team.

Artur Renault: The current Knowledge Bowl team is excellent— it’s diverse, strong, and definitely has a shot in the tournament.

I’m the captain and then we have four more people. Ricky is a senior, and he knows everything about tennis and bio. Lucas, a sophomore, seems to know a bit of everything. He’s also really fast with math. Then there’s Sriyani, a sophomore who showed up to Knowledge Bowl for the first time about a month ago and knows everything about every book ever written. Last but not least is Pat, a junior who also knows a lot and is always there to put the team in a good mood.

That’s just the team—there are also many other great people who help us practice every Monday, and anyone is welcome to join.

T:What made you join Knowledge Bowl?

AR: I have always been a nerd, and I have always known random bits of information. After hearing about Knowledge Bowl, I felt like it would be a great place for those skills. When I joined, I could barely answer any questions. I stuck with it for four years, though, and that’s what made me improve a lot.

T:What is your favorite memory of Knowledge Bowl?

AR: It was probably the time I epically answered a question at the tournament at the International School of Curitiba a year ago. We were playing against the home team and winning. The moderator then asked the following question: “A vicissitude is a change of circumstances or fortune.” Before she could say “Spell vicissitude,” I had already buzzed in—she gave me a disappointed look—and spelt it correctly. I still don’t really know how I knew that was a spelling question, but my team loved it, and it was pretty awesome.

T: What is your goal, as captain, for this season? What is the team’s goal?

AR: Winning, of course. For the last few tournaments we have won every game except the final, and I hope we can finally change that later this year. It’s hard to know what to expect because most players from all the teams have graduated.

T: What have you learned by being in Knowledge Bowl?

AR: Aside from the wealth of random knowledge I have accumulated, I’ve learned how to assess risks well under pressure. In a tournament, it’s hard to know which questions are worth answering or not; it’s hard to know whether or not you’re certain enough to try. This is definitely something I have improved in throughout the years. I have also learned how to be a good team captain, making five brains work well together.

T:And the question we all want answered: which school is the

Joshua Archer

nerdiest of them all?

AR: Tough one. Either Graded or PASB (Bahia). PASB is always known and feared for being extremely nerdy—they spend time studying and memorizing useful pieces of knowledge, which is why they beat us in the final during last year’s tournament.

This year we lost again, this time to EAC although I would argue they are not the nerdiest.

the talon • 9

news

We Be Nerdz, or Geekz Interviews with the local population Courtney Villeneuve

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he word “nerd” has grown from something casually mentioned in a Dr. Seuss book to a pop culture term common in movies and books. It should be no surprise that Graded has its own nerds—well, to an extent it could be argued we’re all nerds.

Here are four examples on our campus, and how they define a “nerd.”

Our first interviewee, Nabila Mourad, was recently published in the Talon. This sweet freshman is one of the “newest nerds” to the high school, and seems to be making her mark already. Her favorite subjects are History and English, and she participates in a wide range of extracurricular activities from soccer to piano lessons. About the difference between “nerds” and “geeks,” she says, “The word ‘geek’ refers to people who have a lot of experience with using computers and video games. The word ‘nerd’ is someone who takes their grades very seriously and tries their best at everything.” She also admits that “the meaning of ‘nerd’ changed over the years. Before, the word meant someone who only cared about their academics and was only focused on their studies. Now I feel that the title of ‘nerd’ is of someone who finds a balance between academics and having a social life.”

Representing the sophomores is Adam Fertig. After writing articles for the Talon on subjects from the website StumbleUpon to Internet memes, his title has been deemed the “quirky nerd.” Living up to his name, he says that his Internet “homepage is blender.org, the official site of a 3D modeling and animation program that [he is] familiar with.” (Many of us will probably have to look up what that is . . .) One of his favorite quotes is from Oscar Wilde, and it appropriately goes “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” When asked about the difference between a “nerd” and a “geek,” he admits that the topic is one he is passionate about. His answer was that he interprets “a nerd to mean someone with no social life that is entirely dedicated to academics. Geeks, on the other hand, are just people who are passionate about a certain area. Nerds are a sublevel of geeks, and geeks can range from Sparta geeks to antiques geeks.” Finally, Adam describes his nerdiest experience:

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My absolute nerdiest experience was when I went to “Tech Camp.” There, I coalesced with my fellow computer nerds and programmed a tic-tac-toe artificial intelligence program in the C++ programming language.

That program proceeded to beat me at tic-tac-toe in a horrifying twist on the Frankenstein effect.

Everyone knows junior year is when the joys and stresses of the International Baccalaureate program begin, and Hyun Ho Lee Nicole Vladimirschi was kind enough to enlighten us on the Ins and Outs of the rigorous schedule and classes. Understandably, he said his favorite class is band because “it’s a time when [he] can do what [he] likes to do—play music—and not be stressed about homework and other school stuff.” Despite its ups and downs, he admits that “the full diploma program is going to be awesome for me in the future because it pushes me academically to do better. This means an easier transition into college.” His opinion on the debate between the words “nerd” and “geek” differs from Adam’s and Nabila’s, because he doesn’t like being called a nerd, and supposes that no one does. He doesn’t think that there is a difference between the terms and instead sees them both as negative.

Finally, Grace Kim was gracious enough to take some time out of her crazy senior schedule to tell us about being a nerd, twelfth-grade style. Over the summer, she went to an engineering camp (Summer Academy of Applied Science and Technology, to be exact) and felt like her inner nerd shone brightly as her and her peers worked to finish lab reports even late into Friday nights and played rounds of Sudoku. Logically, her favorite subject in school is Math because she loves “playing with numbers” and “helping others in Math.” As for her future, she is not quite sure what she wants to do, but research and engineering are her top choices at the moment. On being called a nerd, she is not at all offended. In her words: “What I know for sure is that I am not offended by people calling me a nerd, because I know I am a nerd…well actually, a ‘cool nerd’!”

From the freshmen to the seniors, nerds are just a part of life at Graded. We congratulate you on your achievements and wish you the best! You are not alone.

news

Steve Jobs: Hero or Villain?

Accusations that were lobbed at Apple’s CEO

Mendel Schwarz

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n February 24, 1955, the world was altered forever through the birth of a remarkable whiz kid who would alter many aspects of technology in an awfully short life. Together with Steve Wozniak and Ronald Wayne, the grown-up Steve Jobs created Apple, the leading tech company in the world. Through Apple’s many revolutionary projects, Jobs established himself as modern technology’s father until his death on October 5, 2011. In his career there were many speculations about his collegialetly, ethics and transparency as Apple’s chairman. Such suggestions have led some to wonder who Steve Jobs really was.

Apple has faced charges of copyright infringement in the last few years, one of the main negative attributes associated with Job’s career. Xiaolong Wu, the president of the Shenzhen Great Loong Brother Company, leads the list of these accusations. The inventor of the P88, a product which was supposedly copied by Apple with the iPad, Wu threatened to sue Jobs and Apple for stealing his creation.

The outer design of the Chinese product is, in fact, identical to the one implemented in the iPad—although the resemblance doesn’t go any further. The P88 isn’t equipped with the renowned touch screen nor does it have any of the iPad’s apps.

The Chinese product is clearly just a laptop shoved into a huge iPhone-style case. Wu’s claim is certainly nothing but a publicity move against Apple, one which holds no truth.

Many other appalling rumors have been produced concerning Job’s relationship with his employees. Jobs has been, at times, cited as a harsh boss who won’t hesitate in taking advantages of those who haven’t achieved as much on Apple’s hierarchal ladder. Once again, this was romptly denied by research done by Seeking Alpha, which ranks Steve Jobs as having a 91% approval from his workers. In fact, Apple’s CEO got the highest percentage out of all four companies involved on the poll (Google, Dell, Apple and Microsoft). Employees have depicted Apple as being a serious company that offers a great career possibility accompanied by the undeniable desire for greatness. When questioned whether his perspective for

prominence was shared by everyone in the company, he said: “We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and everyone should be really excellent. Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know? So this is what we’ve chosen to do with our life […] And we’ve all chosen to do this with our lives. So it better be damn good. It better be worth it. And we think it is.”

Other claims of similar nature exist, which can easily be denied in similar manner. It must be challenging for Job’s adversaries in the market to acknowledge that a “US$ 2 billion company with 4,300-plus people couldn’t compete with six people in blue jeans,” Apple’s ex-hippie chairman claimed, months before his passing away, suggesting that his objective in the business was no longer to acquire more wealth but instead simply help humankind with his products. “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what djdesignerlab.com matters to me.” Jobs achieved his goals numerous times, and his accomplishments will never be shadowed by anyone through spurious allegations. Not many people had the ability to lay their heads in bed knowing that they changed the world . . . again.

Steve Jobs can’t be called anything short of a hero. All accusations directed at him carry obvious—and envious—intentions. From his early life as an adopted child to the end of his days with his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, Jobs courageously faced many obstacles imposed upon him. He guided the world through advancements that shaped our way of thinking and acting in our everyday life. His days were filled with hardships, but due to his dedication they were filled with successes. The man in the black turtleneck will never again be seen presenting a new product, and later mesmerizing the audiences with his every word. Apple will miss their leader and founder. The world will miss the presence of a genius.

Sources used in this article: cnn.com; wires.com; exame.com.br

the talon • 11

news

Top Five New Inventions Contraptions that will change our lives

Daniel Almeida The SixthSense When he’s wearing the SixthSense, a combination miniature projector, webcam and notebook computer, Pranav Mistry can snap photos just by making the shape of a frame with his fingers. He can conjure a phone keypad in the palm of his hand and tap the virtual numbers to place a call. The system can even recognize a book in front of the camera, retrieve its Amazon listing from the Web, and project its rating on the cover.

Mistry’s invention is a mix ofcontraptions. A webcam captures video, including specific hand signals that the laptop reads as commands. A mini-projector displays the relevant content—e-mail, stock charts, and photos—on the nearest surface. Within a few years, the inventors hope, it will let people operate smartphones without touching a button, do instant research on objects around them, and generally offer the kind of enhanced-reality experience that’s now confined to science fiction.

Mushroom Insulation Eben Bayer and Gavin McIntyre want to line the walls of your home with mushrooms. The young entrepreneurs have created a strong, low-cost biomaterial that could replace the expensive, environmentally harmful Styrofoam and plastics used in wall insulation, as well as in packaging and a host of other products. Wind-turbine blades and auto-body panels aren’t out of the realm of possibility, either.

In the lab, the inventors grow mycelia, the vegetative roots of mushrooms that resemble bundles of white fiber.

But instead of soil, the roots grow in a bed of agricultural byproducts like buckwheat husks, and those intertwining fibers give the material structural support. Just one cubic inch of the white-and-brown-specked “Greensulate” insulation contains eight miles of interconnected mycelia strands. The panels are dried in an oven to stop mycelia growth, and in two weeks, they’re ready for your walls.

The Audeo An accident led Michael Callahan to value his basic functions and come up with the Audeo, a tiny device that detects electrical activity between the brain and vocal cords and turns it into audible speech. When we speak, three basic things happen: the lungs deliver air, the vocal cords vibrate to create sound, and the mouth moves. The Audeo helps people for whom at least one of the three processes malfunctions due to ALS, traumatic brain injury or other problems—those whose brains and vocal cords are intact but whose impaired motor skills prevent them from moving their lungs and mouth.

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How it works: three pill-size electrodes on the throat pick up electrical signals generated between the brain and the vocal cords. A processor in the device then filters and amplifies the signals and sends them to an adjacent PC, where software decodes them and turns them into words spoken through the PC’s speakers. By placing the electrodes on the neck and “speaking” silently through vocal-cord movements (but without moving the mouth), the wearer generates enough neural activity to trigger this chain of events.

KOR-fx Shahriar S. Afshar spent the past five years doing something a bit different: perfecting a device that pumps sound vibrations directly to your rib cage, intensifying videogame and movie experiences. His invention, the KOR-fx, is about the size of a pair of headphones and sits over the shoulders like a backpack. Two transducers translate sound into vibrations, pressing gently into your chest and connecting through a small box to any gaming console, PC or music player to extract the bass and other elements from the audio signal. Afshar says he can generate frequencies of vibration that act on the visceral nerve system, tricking the user’s brain into believing that his or her body is experiencing a range of phenomena. “We can induce the sensation of rain, wind, weight shift, even G-forces,” he says. His company, Immerz, is in talks with several studios to add these effects to films. For now, though, the invention will be a gaming device, and you know what? That’s good enough for me.

EverTune Graded students know that guitar strings need constant tension to stay tuned, but they’re easily loosened or tightened if the temperature changes, the instrument gets knocked around, or the guitarist just rocks too hard. In an EverTune-equipped guitar, the bridge holding the strings in place contains six spring-and-lever contraptions, one at the end of each string.

These keep the strings’ tension constant.

With EverTune the guitar is tuned by turning a screw on the EverTune bridge (no tuning pegs are used), adjusting the tension of a spring that corresponds to one of the six strings.

Each spring attaches to a lever that holds the string in place; the lever shifts if the string loosens or tightens, but the connected spring maintains the proper tension to keep the guitar in tune. So for all of the musicians out there, this might be a useful addition to your constantly expanding bundle of electronic gadgets.

Source used in this article: www.popsci.com

entertainment

A Nerd’s Perks Nerds and relationships in The Big Bang Theory Julia Wu

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e need to widen our circle,” Leonard Hofstadter warns his roommate Sheldon Cooper, who reluctantly retorts, “I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on Myspace.” “Yes, and you’ve never met one of them.” “That’s the beauty of it.” This conversation between two authentic nerds marks the first episode of the CBS favorite, The Big Bang Theory. Since its debut in 2007, the comedy TV series has received positive feedback from a large group of viewers thanks to its unique storyline and witty humor. TBBT unveils the life of four young and accomplished nerds who, just like every one of us, must face the phenomenon of love at some point in life.

Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Rajesh are physicists and colleagues at Cal Tech in Pasadena, California. The quartet shares an apartment where they carry out experiments, read comic books, eat Chinese take-out, and watch Stephen Hawking lectures on DVD. The crux of the show, though, also involves women who step into their lives unexpectedly. Penny is an attractive and outspoken waitress who moves in next door to the geniuses and introduces them to a different field of study: relationships.

Perhaps the most distinctive aspect of TBBT is its excellent depiction of “nerds.” The writers make sure that every stereotype we associate the term with is enhanced. One will hear constant references to physics and mathematics during each episode, but no background knowledge is necessary to savor the humor.

The nerds each have peculiar personality traits that separate them from a social life, and in particular, girls. Sheldon is the ardent type that has trouble consorting with people with the average IQ, Howard has a complex about imaginary, perfect women, Raj cannot open his mouth to ladies, and Leonard… well, Leonard is the one with least social issues and most experience with the opposite sex. However, taking a potential girlfriend home is practically jeopardizing his relationship.

Why? For example, what is the average woman’s reaction to a nerd? “Ew.” What is her reaction to a flock of nerds? “I must have done something wrong to deserve this.”

Take Penny’s first visit to the boys’ home for instance.

Leonard is attempting to make Penny his girlfriend when Sheldon frightens the girl with his peculiar attitude in response to her sitting on “his corner of the couch.” When asked why nobody has the privilege to his territory, he awkwardly explains his theory that the very spot has the perfect angle for conversation, watching television, staying warm and receiving light from the windows.

The conflict between nerds and the opposite sex has been an overwhelming concern for many nerds as it has been a source of ridicule for many socially adept people. After all, not all whizzes worship only Newton’s laws of motion and Pascal’s triangle, though it has long been affirmed that these are part of their only concerns. In fact, nerds probably do prioritize the realm of knowledge, but trust me, socialites and bibliophiles alike think about relationships. It’s just that the way nerds think about them could be a tad bit (or tremendously) different from others.

For the nerds nerdy enough to believe there should be a logical explanation behind the composition of everything in the universe, relationships might require one, too. They can undermine and even ignore the role of emotions, therefore finding it difficult to manage relationships. Raj finds himself in the physical dilemma of paralysis when a girl talks to him, when actually fireworks are bursting inside his central nervous system. All he can do is imagine what he would like to say to that girl, while staying silent and rigid like a clown in front of her. It isn’t easy.

One of the best jokes of the series, which received no applause but rather a set of frowns from the nerds, comes from the amusing and down-to-earth Penny: “A physicist goes into an ice cream parlor every week. He always orders an ice cream sundae and offers one to the empty stool next to him. One day the owner asks, ‘Why do you do that?’ The physicist replies, ‘Well, the laws of quantum mechanics teach us that there is a possibility that the matter above this stool will spontaneously transform into a beautiful woman who will accept my offer of an ice cream and fall in love with me.’ The owner says, ‘We have beautiful women come in here all the time. Why don’t you offer one of them an ice cream and maybe she’ll fall in love with you.’ And the physicist replies, ‘Yeah, but what are the odds of THAT happening?’”

Without citing all the psychological or physical reasons why typical nerds aren’t as agile with love as the average person, it’s appealing to think about how things would be if they actually were. What if that one prodigy kid you knew, inside or out of Graded, who prefers to spend a weekend digesting Charles Dickens, also had one thousand friends on Facebook? Is it even possible? Well, maybe. Then again, most of us would be threatened by the virtually perfect human being. But hey, The Big Bang Theory nerds are starting to work on it, knowing that someday they’ll get there. “Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries, that all started with the big bang!”

the talon • 13

entertainment

Zelda vs. Uncharted

The old school and new school in video games go hand in hand Kevin Shimba Bengtsson

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ver 25 years ago, on February 21st, 1986, the first iteration of what was to be one of the most iconic video game franchises of all time was released in Japan: The Legend of Zelda.

Just under four years ago, the first edition of a new video game series, which would prove to be a highly acclaimed hit, came out: Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune. So, what’s in store for these two games series? And why are they compared today? Well, as perfect contrasts in the video game industry (in terms of longevity), it is quite the irony that they’re both coming out with new iterations, in this very month of November – the former with The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword and the latter with Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception.

Coming from the wellestablished genius that is Shigeru Miyamoto—the mind behind games like Mario and Donkey Kong—the Legend of Zelda series has, for decades, been one of the most prolific and successful franchises in the video game industry. With 17 of these actionadventure games released, most of which received high critical acclaim, it’s hard to disagree. On November 18, the next in the series will be released, and it is unlikely to its predecessors down.

The first in the series to be released solely on the Nintendo Wii platform, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword will utilize the Wii Motion Plus in order to take full advantage of the system’s motion-sensing capabilities. This will allow players to, if all works accordingly, handle Link’s (the protagonist’s) sword with unprecedented precision in order to immerse the audience in a more interactive experience. Furthermore, any extra items or weapons in the game will be used more intuitively as a result of the motion controls (i.e., using a bow and arrow will involve literally aiming at a target with the Wiimote and retracting and releasing the ‘Nunchuck’).

Notwithstanding, the biggest difference between Skyward Sword and its forerunners lies in the visuals. Whereas the previous game, Twilight Princess, had quasi-realistic graphics and the game before it, Wind Waker, childlike cartoonish visuals (“cell-shaded”), this one seems to be treading middle ground. It is neither of ultra realistic nor juvenile; Miyamoto says it was inspired in part by his love for Impressionist art and Paul Cézanne.

On the other side of the spectrum lies a different type

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of game in the Uncharted series. Coming from the relatively new game developers, Naughty Dog (first made popular by the Crash Bandicoot series), Uncharted quickly gained positive notoriety, garnering comparisons to well-established movie franchises such as Indiana Jones due to its lush landscapes, similar plotlines and escape scenes akin to those performed

by Harrison Ford. Despite the comparisons, however, the Uncharted series still stands apart in innovation, creativity, and most importantly fun. On November 1, the third in the series was released.

Unlike Skyward Sword, which is a debut on the platform it is to be played on, Uncharted 3: Drake’s Fortune is the third digitaltrends.com iteration of the series to be released on the Playstation 3.

As such, the game’s developers are sure to be well-accustomed to the nature of the console and are thusly prone to produce the best possible game. One of the most prominent aspects of any of the Uncharted games is the scenery and locales that the protagonist, Nathan Drake (fictional descendant of Sir Francis Drake), visits, and it is no different for the third game. Drake will find himself visiting the most exotic of places, including the Rub’ al Khali desert. As a treasure hunter, this will surely provide a myriad of obstacles for Nathan Drake to face, and, as a result, a more rewarding game for us to enjoy.

Dissimilar yet again to the Zelda franchise, Uncharted’s visuals will not be changing for this edition of the series. This is not necessarily a good thing, yet not intrinsically a bad thing, for, as someone once said: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

In the end, it doesn’t come down to which game you’re going to buy, but which game you’re going to buy first. This is because Skyward Sword is the culmination (but certainly not the series finale) of 25 years of gaming at its best, while Drake’s Deception is a game that will solidify the Uncharted series as one of the greatest in recent years. They have both proven to be the paragons of their gaming genres, winning countless awards and deservedly so; they sure are fun to play. So go, spend that “absurd” amount of money that your parents claim it to be on the two games, because deep down you know that it isn’t absurd at all, and the reward of being able to play the games is so worth enduring whatever scolding you might receive.

Source used in this article: wikipedia.org

entertainment

“How Nerdy Are You?” Take our quiz and find out Ines Gil SCORING: a = 1 point; b = 2 points, c = 3 points, d = 0 points 1.

How long are you on the computer daily? a. 1-3 hours b. 4-6 hours c. I spend more time on the computer then I spend sleeping. d.I don’t believe in technology.

2. Do you spend all that time actually doing homework? a. Sometimes. b. No, I procrastinate a lot with Facebook, etc. c. Yes! Why would I want to do anything else? d. I don’t go on the computer or do homework; they are a waste of time.

3. When was your last visit to Courseweb? a. During an in-class assignment. b. Oh… yeah! Courseweb! …It’s been a while. c. Last night, of course. I was checking the upcoming homework for next week. d.Courseweb? Where’s that?

4. In E=mc², what does “c” equal? a. That’s a physics question, right? b. The temperature of the object. c. The speed of light... obviously… d. Don’t know, don’t care.

5. What do you do Friday nights? a.Go out with friends or family. b. Stay at home, playing online games or reading. c. Friday night is homework night! d. Party!

6. Have you ever considered applying to be on the show Jeopardy? a. Nah, I don’t really like it. b. Now that I think of it, I would be very good! c. I’m still waiting for the acceptance. It could come any day now. d. That’s the show with smart people, right?

7. How often do your friends ask for help on homework? a. Sometimes. b. Many times, but it really is my pleasure to help.

I love the extra practice. c. Sometimes that’s the only reason why I have friends… d. I’m the one who always asks for help.

8. What’s your favorite webpage? a. Google b. tumblr, stumbleupon, blogspot c. portals.veracross.com/graded d. Facebook 9. What is the value of pi? a. A really long number. b. 3.14-something. c. 3.1415926535897932384626433… Ok, I’ll shut up. d. Depends; apple is like $3, pumpkin is like $5.

10. What is the closest object to you right now? a. Cell phone b. Computer c. The brand new TI-Nspire CX; it is a graphing calculator with a full color screen and even a rechargeable battery!

It was a birthday present. d. Duh, a bag of chips and the TV. 11. Have you ever argued about which superhero is the best? a. Not really. It has never come up. b. Do the Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles count? c. Oh, heated discussions. But it has to be Kal-El, a.k.a. Superman, the man of steel. Ever since his first appearance in Action Comics #1 in 1938, he revolutionized the comics industry. He has truly made the world a better place. d. People do that?

12. Do you own a T-shirt with either a Rubik’s cube or a superhero symbol? a. No, none of my friends do either. b. Yes, but my inspiration is “The Big Bang Theory,” they wear the coolest shirts. c. Too many to count. d. Ew, no.

the talon • 15

entertainment RESULTS: If you earned 0-12 you are BORING. You may not be a nerd, but you can maybe come off as boring.

Try new things, meet new people, and get a hobby.

If you got 13-20 you are NERDYLESS. You are not a nerd! Congratulations, I guess?

If you earned 21-28 you are HALF-NERD or NERD-WANNABE. You might spend a little too much time doing homework and worrying about school, go socialize and hang out with friends.

If you got from 29-36 you are A HARDCORE, BONAFIDE NERD! Hey, you might be a complete nerd, but if you are happy being one, be yourself. It’s clear you are really passionate about your interests. But you do have friends, right?

Source used in this article: www.nerdtests.com Rocketwatcher.com

Monthly Update What’s changed here and there

Adam Hunt Fertig

StuCo’s Coffee Wednesdays keep students more awake and alert during class.

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Russian politician Vladimir Putin is rumored to be running for president this year.

The worldwide community mourns the death of Steve Jobs as the loss of a modern titan.

entertainment

Predictions for Marvel from a True Believer Wild guesses, assemble! (Warning: assembly may contain spoilers)

Felipe Marques

R

ogers, Stark, Banner, Barton, Odinson, Fury, and Romanoff.

To some, these might just seem like random names picked from a hat. To a select group (nerds and geeks), these are the top names of May 2012’s most anticipated cinematic release.

That’s right, true believers, I’m talking about The Avengers (Marvel Studios/Walt Disney Pictures), the greatest and latest interpretation of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes on the silver screen. Since the release of Captain America: The First Avenger, there have been a total of 3 teasers for this behemoth of a superhero movie. From these teasers, plus the information I gathered from Thor, Iron Man 1 and 2, Captain America, The Incredible Hulk, and my knowledge of the Marvel Universe in general (and some other sources), I’ve rounded up five predictions of what may or may not happen in this superhero mash-up.

Hold on to your tights and capes, and let’s hope that Marvel makes these blind guesses see the light. Assemble!

1. HYDRA will have a part to play in the plot.

In Captain America’s first movie, the Axis-allied association HYDRA, led by the Red Skull, was the main antagonist.

Yet is this the last we’ll see of the technologically-aheadof-their-time-squad? According to Thor’s post-credits scene, SHIELD got a hold of the Tesseract, a.k.a. the Cosmic Cube, which was previously in the Red Skull’s hands—that is, before he evaporated into space. Therefore, will HYDRA attempt to get their hands on the only cube more complicated than Rubik’s contraption? This brings me to my second theory: 2. If HYDRA is in the Avengers movie, the Red Skull will follow.

Let’s go back to the 40’s, shall we? In Captain America, the Red Skull evaporated into space. However, when he evaporated, he disappeared into a sort of rift, much like the kind of rift Loki disappeared into at the end of Thor. Ergo, this rift, found underneath Asgard’s rainbow bridge, acts as a portal from the Nine Realms of Norse Mythology to the mortal world, in which, according to Thor’s post-credits scene again, Loki is imprisoned. Therefore, if HYDRA, with the god of trickery on their side, gets a hold of the Tesseract, they will probably attempt to bring back the Skull from Loki’s realm as they did before in the actual comics.

3. If HYDRA isn’t the main villain, it’s OK. There’s always the Skrulls.

Yes, the Skrulls. The shape-shifting invaders that caused quite the commotion for the last two-plus years in the Marvel universe might have an important role to play in the

film. IGN found some leaked images of the Avengers video game tie-in which, the site says, “showed Thor fighting an ‘oversized Skrull’ as well as glimpses of a female Skrull.” Meanwhile, on the movie set, IGN tells of “stuntmen in mo-cap suits fighting the Avengers—they’re obviously playing non-humans of some kind.” The not-so-little green men have already dabbled in the art of the Tesseract as well: they’ve created a replica of their own, which became the super villain “Shaper of Worlds.” Let’s hope they make a landing of some sort on the Avengers’ base.

4. Stephen Strange, PhD, Sorcerer Supreme… Avenger?

There have been various theories about Marvel’s much rumored 2014 movie releases, yet two stick out like sore thumbs in comparison to the others: a sequel for Captain America… and a Doctor Strange movie. The Sorcerer Supreme has never been one to meddle much in the Avengers’ affairs, bar two occasions: he’s part of the Illuminati, a team of intellectual heroes who occasionally aid the Avengers, and is currently part of the New Avengers along with The Thing, Wolverine, Luke Cage, and Spider-Man. So if Disney Studios and Marvel decide to make the Servant of Agamotto’s big-screen apparition a reality, will he make a cameo or even be part of the lineup for an Avengers sequel? Only time will tell.

5. Loki’s motivation?

Tom Hiddleston, Loki’s portrayer in both Thor and The Avengers, answered this question with the enigmatic charm of the God of Trickery himself: “I think by the time Loki shows up in The Avengers he’s seen a few things. . .At the beginning of The Avengers, he comes to earth to subjugate it and his idea is to rule the human race as their king. . .he thinks this is a great idea because if everyone is busy worshipping him, there will be no wars so he will create some kind of world peace by ruling them as a tyrant. But he is also kind of deluded in the fact that he thinks unlimited power will give him respect.” Therefore, Loki is probably not working with anyone else, contrary to my former theories: Hiddleston theorizes himself that Loki, motivated by his jealousy of Thor, will go to extremes, possibly (knowing the character) to gain Odin’s, his father’s, attention.

Yet, being the God of Trickery, Loki must have an ace up his treacherous sleeves.

These are just one humble geek’s musings over the Earth’s Greatest Hero Mash-up. But this geek’s got his fingers crossed for what is yet to be revealed. ‘Nuff said, and Excelsior!

the talon • 17

entertainment

Trivialities Replete with facts for the nerdy Julia Wu

T

he term ‘nerd’ first appeared in the 1950 Dr. Seuss book, If I Ran the Zoo.

•

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

•

Take the last 2 digits of the year you were born and add it to the age you will be (or are) this year. It will equal 111 unless you lie about your age.

•

Black holes are not really holes or voids. They are actually the densest concentration of mass in the universe.

•

The letter J does not show up anywhere on the periodic table of elements.

•

Pi has been calculated to 2,260,321,363 digits, the billionth being 9.

•

Each day is longer than the previous one by 0.00000002 seconds, which means 13 seconds each century.

•

Microsoft made $16,005 in revenue during its first year of operation.

•

Laser stands for “Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.”

•

Water expands before it freezes.

•

A human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.

•

The moon is one million times drier than the Gobi Desert.

•

At room temperature, the average air molecule travels at the speed of a rifle bullet.

•

The sentence “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” includes every letter of the alphabet.

•

Cinderella is known as “Tuna” in Finland.

•

“Nazi” is an abbreviation of Nazionalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartel.

•

Many hamsters blink one eye at a time.

•

Your thumb is the same length as your nose.

18 • the talon

•

The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

•

Tasmania, an Australian island, is said to have the cleanest air in the world.

•

10% of the Russian government’s income comes from the sale of vodka.

•

Beelzebub is Hebrew for “Lord of the Flies.”

•

All babies are born colorblind.

•

In 1998, Sony accidentally sold 700,000 devices that had the technology to see through people’s clothes.

•

90% of women who step into department stores immediately turn to the right.

•

Human saliva has a boiling point three times higher than that of water.

•

Vietnamese currency consists of no coins.

•

Tokyo was once known as Edo.

•

A shrimp’s heart is in its head.

•

A survey reported that 12% of Americans think that Joan of Arc was Noah’s wife.

•

All polar bears are left handed.

•

A chicken is 75% water.

•

Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were all made of plaster.

•

A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4-foot tall child inside.

•

Los Angeles’ full name is El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora La Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula. “L.A.” is 3.63% of its full name.

Sources used in this article: www.funnyfacts.com; www. emitsburg.net/humor/archives/interesting_facts/; www. omg-facts.com

entertainment

Overheard at Graded Geekiness actually sounds much better than any of this Isabella Zevallos “I can flex my boobs.”

Guys must be jealous about this newfound talent of ours.

In the cafeteria: “Pedaling is like rowing with your feet.”

And kicking someone is like high-fiving them with your feet.

Or maybe I’m just misinterpreting the logic here.

“Do you think they have unicorns at the center of the universe?”

“Yeah, fire unicorns.”

I am seriously starting to think that Graded students think way too much about unicorns.

“I don’t like having nightmeers.”

“Do you mean nightmares?”

“But that’s what I said — nightmeers.”

You may not like nightmeers, but I am quite sure that having drames is pretty cool.

In a conversation about ice cream: “I wanna buy a Barney costume.” (justifying digression) “No, it’s cause Barney is green.”

Sorry to break it to you, but Barney is actually blue.

Discussing ethical issues in ToK class: “Euthanasia is cool.”

Well, what isn’t cool about pain and death combined into one discussion?

“The world is so contravicted.”

Contravicted? Maybe that is one of those weird SAT vocabulary words, you never know…

“Can you see that I’m Asian in the dark?”

You are Asian? Wow, it is so dark that I seriously thought you were Dutch.

In English class: “You color-code your notes and you still call yourself a man?”

Well, my notes are black and white and I am still quite positive that I am a woman…

While talking about teeth: “Quando eu era pequena eu tinha doce de leite.”

And I take it that now you have whole alfajores as teeth?

In BrSS class: “Ela é Quaker.”

“Então ela não tem luz em casa?”

Believe me when I say that I am pretty sure that Ms. Petersen doesn’t correct her history papers using candles and matches.

In Biology class: “A.D., as in Anno Domini.”

“Oh, that’s what it means? I thought it meant After Dinosaurs.”

Oh yes, so did I. But at least we can’t get B.C. wrong — I mean, what else can it mean besides “Before Cavemen”?

Talking to your humble author after an extracurricular meeting: “You have African hair.”

Um… Thank you?

“Teachers are nicer after school” That explains a lot — I had always suspected that my teachers correct my tests while they are still in class, and now I have concrete evidence for that.

“I know where Shakespeare was born; he was born on Stratford Avenue.”

And after years of reading that same “Introduction to Shakespeare,” Stratford-upon-Avon still seems like a distant and mysterious land…

“In Asia we throw away kids like you.”

And there goes my theory of Asians being nice.

“Não vou dormir no meio do deserto — imagine se a gente é assaltado.”

Oh yes, because being mugged is the worst of your worries when you are stuck in the middle of the desert. It’s not like rattlesnakes exist anyways…

After a math test: “Three words: not cool!”

Well, I can see how that math test went.

“I wish Elmo was black.”

I don’t see why — my aunt is red and fluffy and I am proud to say that there is nothing that I’d want to change about her.

NOTE: Overheard something funny? Send it to talon@graded. br.

the talon • 19

features

Living an Examined Life Finding the nerd in you

Ho Jun Yang ccording to eldacur.com, the first documented use of the

A

According to ScienceDaily, the nerd stereotype is

word “nerd” arises in the 1950 Dr. Seuss story, If I Ran the

still prevalent in modern media as a negative stock character.

Zoo, in which a boy named Gerald McDrew talks of how he

Lori Kendall, a professor in the Graduate School of Library and

would exhibit a creature called a nerd from a place called Ka-

Information at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign,

Troo. The illustration of this specimen was a “grumpy humanoid

says that this is the cause of women and minorities avoiding

with unruly hair and sideburns, wearing a black T-shirt.” Then,

careers in information technology. “Ten years ago, I thought the

in 1951, it was used in Newsweek: “In Detroit, someone who

nerd stereotype would fade as more and more people started to

once would be called a drip or a square is now, regrettably,

use computers in their everyday lives,” Kendall said. “I thought,

a nerd, or in a less severe case, a scurve.” It was once more

‘Since we’re all using computers, we’re all nerds.’ Well, that

referenced in 1952 when St. Joseph, Michigan, Herald-Press:

hasn’t been true.” She believes that the reason nerds are

“If the patois throws you, you’re definitely not in the know,

thought of so negatively is the unease with computer technology

because anyone who is not a nerd (drip) knows that.” It is

and the influence it has over people’s increasingly cyber-

speculated that this term was picked up by the children who

connected lives. There is a distinction between businessmen

read Dr.Seuss and passed the term on to their teenager siblings

who use laptops and PDAs, without much interested in the

who, by 1957, used this term to designate the socially inept

gadgetry, and nerds who love using such tools. Furthermore,

“squares” in their classes. In such a short amount of time,

Kendall discovered that nerds are usually represented in a

this word gained popularity and is still a common term in the

way that specifically contrasts with stereotypical cool black

modern English lexicon.

male images, deepening racial divisions, such as in the music

Although this word is applicable to people of all

video of “White & Nerdy,” by the musician Weird Al Yankovic.

ages, it’s usually more common in the younger populations and

Kendall says that this shows the implication that “we have an

especially in schools. From that scraggly 1950s Seuss being,

expectation that people who understand computers are more

it has evolved into a much more negative image. Nowadays,

likely to be white males.”

the typical “nerd” look is of a white male with thick-rimmed

These ideas suggest sad possibilities. The contempt for

glasses, pulled-up pants, and braces. Other features are that

nerds discourages women and minorities to pursue computer-

he probably has his hair bangs divided in a 8:2 ratio and has

related careers and encourages people to racially categorize

acne on his face. Female nerds often have the same physical

people based on certain attributes. People would normally not

attributes except they have braided ponytails. Such characters

accept such consequences, but nerds are so deeply incorporated

are often considered to have high intelligence, but low physical

into the media with a negative and often farcical image that

prowess. Items like calculators, books and school-related ma-

it’s near impossible to shake off these connotations when

terials are often carried by nerds.

identifying real life nerds. But actually, it’s possible to find a

These defenseless students are the prime target

nerd in everyone. The non-physical feature that is ubiquitous

of another class of creatures often found in schools, bullies.

in all nerds is passion for a certain subject, usually computers.

Unfortunately, nerds are subject to bullying from most of the

However, despite Professor Kendall’s foreboding observation,

other groups of students in school. As they are at the bottom

nerds are also starting to be seen as people with intense desire

of the school hierarchy, another classification of students that

to do well academically. Again, a commonality is that these

is also the victim of ridicule is geeks. These are people that fit

students have passion, but then doesn’t everyone have passion?

a similar category as nerds, but are considered to be between

Everyone has a little nerd in them. And I completely agree with

the nerds and normal kids. However, ScienceDaily writes that

the Socratic assertion that “an unexamined life is not worth

“despite the increased popularity of geek culture—movies based

living”; it is through examining these nerds in ourselves that

on comic books, videogames, virtual worlds—and the ubiquity

we grasp the essence of life. There’s no need to be ashamed of

of computers, the geek’s close cousin, the nerd, still suffers

avidly pursuing what you love, yet moderation isn’t a bad idea.

from a negative stereotype in popular culture.”

20 • the talon

features

“Nerderific” Fashion

Three tips for a successful transformation Mariana Lepecki

N

erds. They are often misunderstood intellectuals that now seem to take over the world. You can find them everywhere, creating the cool technological products that thousands (nerds and non-nerds alike) camp out to buy. They are in movies, like The Social Network, and on TV shows, like The Big Bang Theory, making thousands of people wince and laugh. However, when we look through fashion magazines or see fashion shows on TV, they are nowhere to be found. Though some people might argue that the stereotypical nerd doesn’t have the best taste, there’s no doubt that they have a unique look. With this in mind, here are the Dos and Don’ts for achieving that look for a future Graded’s spirit week, Halloween Benefit Bash or any other Halloween party.

the midpoint, you calculate it just like you would with a linear equation.

Remember, probably one of the most important items for achieving “the high waist” without worrying about going through embarrassing moments is the belt. Make sure that you have belts with a good range of lengths; you don’t want your pants, skirt, or even shorts to be too loose, but you also don’t want them to cut your circulation— causing lack of breathing or even damaging you spleen. Yes, belts can be that dangerous.

3. I<3 Checkers (a.k.a perpendicular intersections) Finally, for the last touch, you can draw some inspiration from golfers. No, this has nothing to do with the game itself; but it’s more about the player’s outfit. Whether it’s checkered socks, shirt, hat or even golf cart, the pattern can be found everywhere.

Try to find polo shirts that have a checkered pattern, or ones that button up. The many lines, forming perpendicular intersections, are a great look that gives your shirt shape and interest.

Another great checkered item that can’t be missing from a nerd’s closet is socks.

Similar to soccer socks in length, they are great for keeping your legs warm and for keeping mosquitoes and other bugs away. Yes, that’s right, no more wasting precious comic book money on bug repellents!

1. Glasses (or lorgnettes) One of the key elements for achieving the nerd look is a great pair of glasses. This is probably the most stereotypical nerd apparel—the bigger the better. Try to find glasses that have dark square rims. If you are not astigmatic, myopic or hypermetropic (basic translation: don’t need glasses), try to use a pair that has no lenses or else you might get cephalgia or diplopia (translation: headache or blurred vision). For the final touch, you can add a piece of duck tape to one of the corners, a classic “accessory” for the clumsy nerd. Remember, duck tape is a nerd’s best friend. halloweencostumes.org

2. The Pants (or pantaloons) Usually, high-waisted pants are “musts” for the nerd look. Try to go for a simple color, like beige or even light blue jeans. Your goal with this look is to tuck in your shirt and have your pants go over your belly-button, which isn’t as easy as it looks. So if you are a wannabe nerd, you don’t have to worry; this is a skill that takes practice.

For girls, if you want to go for a more “feminine nerd,” you can wear a skirt instead of pants. You need to find is a longer skirt so that even after you pull it up, it is possible to move around and sit comfortably in. The trick to finding the perfect height to pull up the skirt to is to acquire a skirt so that it comes down to the midpoint of your leg. To determine

So there you have it, a few of tips that will help ensure a successful “nerderific” transformation. However, it is important to emphasize that this is a stereotypical image of nerds (far from being realistic or up to date). Ironically though, many of the once-thought-of-as-fragile-and-clumsy nerds are the ones that we see on Forbes magazine or on TV today. From Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg to Mayim Bialik, a Ph. D neuroscientist who plays Amy in The Big Bang Theory, nerds are doing it all. So who knows? Maybe it won’t take too long for the fabulous, high-waist checkered pants to be showcased on the runways of New York Fashion Week and in stores everywhere in the world.

the talon • 21

features

I Bet You’ve Never Heard of Them Hipsters and their role in society

Adam Hunt Fertig

W

ithin the world of nerds, there are several branches (such as geeks and dorks). This article will investigate one of the newer subgroups, a group that has developed recently, the hipster. Doubtless you have heard the term tossed around, but what exactly is a hipster?

Hipsters are a contemporary counterculture movement. This is quite a mouthful, but basically it means that hipsters completely oppose anything that is “mainstream,” or popular. They’re unified by an obsession with the obscure and the ironic. If the majority of people have heard about it, then it deserves no respect. Plus, although hipsters can vary greatly, certain general defining characteristics help to spot one.

First, hipsters’ interest in music gives them away.

Their catchphrases, “I bet you’ve never heard of them” and “I only liked [insert band name]’s first album,” reflect their passion for the obscure. While moderate hipsters listen to more conventional, albeit indie, music, diehard ones clamor for atonal, dissonant, unintelligible gibberish from bands with names like Prosaic Musings of an Untamed Vagrant. Also, any hipster tune worth its sea salt is sold on vinyl.

An equally important aspect of hipster culture is irony.

Hipsters typically possess scalding sarcasm that they employ on the mainstream. Mock enthusiasm and mock disinterest are a hipster’s prevalent tone. And irony isn’t only present in a hipster’s speech: It completes his lifestyle. Although they are usually rich white kids with trust funds, hipsters shop at thrift stores, smell like god-knows-what and drink Pabst Blue Ribbon (a cheap beer). Ironic t-shirts are necessary as well. Why else is there a sudden increase in Mickey Mouse tees and gaudy circus shirts? There are, of course, the iconic Buddy Holly black-framed glasses, which are deemed retro enough to be “deck” (the hipster synonym for cool), while still dorky enough to be ironic. They wear summer clothes in the winter and winter clothes in the summer. They still have MySpace pages.

They infamously consider themselves photographers and take “sophisticated” shots, usually holding their cameras upside down. Finally, there’s the hipster mustache—the crowning pinnacle of a male hipster’s wardrobe due to its sheer irony.

However, to discuss their mustache in more depth, we need to investigate the different types of hipsters.

Remember, hipsters are unified by their love of the obscure, and little else. Josh Aiello, author of a Field Guide to the Urban Hipster, claims that there are thirty eight categories of hipster, but I will stick to the “detached ironic,” the “yuppie,” the “artsy” and the “mountain man” hipsters.

22 • the talon

The “ironic” hipster is perhaps the most common type, and his prominent factor is, of course, irony. These guys fit the aforementioned hipster ironic qualities the best.

They scoff and make snide comments about anything anyone is enthusiastic about, and constantly make pop culture references. Going back to the hipster mustache example, this subgenre favors a waxed handlebar or an oh-so-ironic soul patch.

The “yuppie” is a tricky one. Some would argue they aren’t hipsters at all, due to their departure from hipster principles: Yuppies aren’t ironic, and purchase designer clothing. However, they still maintain a bohemian (yet fashionable) aura about them, and fit the classic definition of a city slicker. They still listen to indie music and eat organic food, but also function as hard-working members of society.

Most yuppies prefer to go clean shaven, but the adventurous ones will go with a goatee or even a fu manchu.

The “artsy” hipster is a self-proclaimed art aficionado in one way or another. This is art that “ordinary people” don’t usually understand, and hipsters pride themselves on that. Within this group there are people such as literature hipsters (Oscar Wilde fanboys), hipster musicians (whose music, if you’ll pardon my perspective, sounds like two whales attempting time travel), and of course, the infamous visual arts hipster. These art lovers sport pencil mustaches or the riskier yet more rewarding Dali mustache.

Finally, the “mountain man” hipster looks like a lumberjack or a hobo, and smells about the same. With his faux-working-class Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, the mountain man waits as long as possible before washing his hair, priding himself on his social isolation. They are an earthier, more spiritual sort of hipster, but the elements are still there.

Mountain men are crazy about beards. Dumbledorian beards, Amish-style beards, French forks, boxed beards... If it’s a beard, they’ve got it.

I hope I have clarified the specifics of a social group that is very difficult to identify. Most importantly, remember that hipsters are nerds in the end, although strange ones.

Hipsters have effectively broken the stereotype of the “classic nerd.” And even though people may groan when they hear the mention of hipsters, let’s hope these nonconformist nerds will stick around. But please, lose the mustaches. Really.

Sources used in this article: stillsearching.wordpress.com; randomhouse.com; bear-hairy-men.com

features

One Way Ticket to Harvard How to get your brain in shape

Paty Kim

B

ehind every joke there is a tiny bit of truth. I apologize

afternoon. The Harry Potter series or the Hunger Games

for my poor translating skills, but this is one of my favorite

series make reading a whole lot more captivating and

proverbs in Portuguese. Even stereotypes originate from small

interesting. Novels trigger new thoughts and ideas which

yet reliable truths. Students who spend extra time revising that

develop the brain in a powerful way.

small assignment, often call the teacher aside to raise a 97.8 to 98, and who just can’t help but log in to Veracross at least

5. Eat Breakfast. Many Graded high school students, espe-

four times a day are likely to be called nerds. Truth is, not all

cially juniors and seniors, have limited amounts of sleep

of the victimized (or honored?) students with this overused

due to their stressful and demanding academic schedules.

label take the actions listed above, but they certainly do have

When it’s time to go to school, many of us would rather

an x-factor that allows them to excel.

have an extra ten minutes of sleep than get up and eat

Most of us are not lucky enough to be born with Albert

breakfast. This isn’t healthy at all. Having a piece of bread,

Einstein’s high IQ or the ability to become smarter with each

fruit and a cup of milk will certainly give you twice the

second, but certain scientifically tested “tricks” might help

energy than those ten extra minutes of sleep.

your brains work efficiently, too.

6. Be a Leftie for a Day. Or a rightie! Using the hand that you 1. Laugh. Whether your laugh is a hearty hahahaha or a

are less comfortable with will boost your brain power and

snickering kkkkk or a snorting kuhkuhkuh, laughter has been

memory. Since you have to recall all the movements you

proven to be a stress and tension reliever. While you are

used with your dominant hand, your brain will be constantly

laughing, you release chemicals that boost the feeling of

challenged to learn new things. I recommend practicing at

well-being. Plus, it gives your brain a break from thinking

home; I don’t want Mr. Klam to pull me aside to complain

and relieves it from stress, giving it room to think about

about all the papers written in illegible handwriting that

more important things. An added bonus is that studies show

he can’t grade.

that people who laugh more than the average are more likely to live longer.

7. Drink Coffee. How many of you have smiled at the sight of this word? This magical, fragrant substance is able to

2. Learn Sign Language. You will not only look cool doing

keep anyone and everyone up at nights to finish their pa-

it but you’ll be sharper than ever. Learning this language

pers, homework and Talon articles. But the truth is, too

encourages the use of motor skills in the brain and trains

much of it can actually be harmful to your brain, due to

other abilities as well. The hand-eye coordination requires

the fact that it over-stimulates your brain cells. However,

a lot of mental effort which will act as a type of work-

don’t despair, since the recommended amount allows you

out for your brain. And, although you never know, it may

to have at least one cup per day.

someday come in handy.

Although these handy tips might not be a free pass to 3. Think of Something Crazy and Do It. If you consider

colleges, they will definitely make spending seven (or more)

something crazy, chances are, you’ve probably never done

hours at Graded more manageable. Practicing one of these tips

it (this may not apply to some people). Doing something

will not only improve your brain, but can also improve your

new will increase your brain power much more than other

physical condition. Here’s a little help to get you started. A

ordinary acts. This varies from person to person, so as the

joke: Why don’t aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

bold letters say, do something that you find completely

HAHAHHAHA, kkkkkk, kuhkuhkuh.

crazy and weird, yet fascinating.

Source used in this article: mastersinhealthinformatics.com 4. Read for the Fun of It. Reading the dictionary or a physics textbook is not necessarily how a teenager would spend an

the talon • 23

features

New Diseases and Conditions

First and foremost, I would like to apologize to all teachers in advance...

Renata Sayão

W

ith every new generation and with every new technological invention or discovery, new (and may I add weird) health issues arise. Thankfully, you won’t be kept ignorant of these new diseases and mental conditions. As you will soon learn in this article, there are many symptoms that you might identify with. If that is the case, don’t panic. Just go see a doctor as soon as possible. This is how it’s going to work, the conditions will appear in italics and you can try to guess the definition based on the scenarios I give you, but if you’re stuck, there’s a key at the end of the article.

Graded students love to put their phones on vibrate mode. That way, they can still chat during class (even though they’re not supposed to), right? So one day, while chatting with a friend during class, you wait for a reply. Suddenly, you feel the phone vibrate. But when you check, you haven’t received anything. The next day, while gossiping intensely to the girl on the other side of the room during class, you leave the phone in your pocket as you wait for a response. You feel the vibrations on your stomach, but you check to see no response.

If this happens often to you, you’re advised to go see a doctor. This condition is known as Textophrenia and it is the latest mental disorder among adolescents.

The next disorder is also common in students. It’s the week of final exams. You were super stressed the week before and didn’t have time to study, so it’s 3 AM and you’re reading the “How to Not Flunk Math, For Dummies” book. You probably look like a mummy and you’re desperate for a good night of sleep. The caffeine won’t hold up any longer and your eyes start to close. A few hours later, you wake up; feeling the freezing air outside of the blankets, you notice that you’ve slept for two hours. The alarm rings again and it feels like there’s still time to study, but when your eyes see the alarm clock, it’s 7:58. Dysania. (This might be the one thing everyone at Graded suffers from, but I may be wrong).

The next condition, I want to warn you in advance, is very dangerous. Much worse than all the others, is Mephobia.

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The symptoms include constant terror of going out in public (afraid that drivers will get distracted by you and thus get into traffic accidents), immense fear of showing people just how awesome you are (because once seen, people will be so dazzled that they’ll faint), and not wanting to be a scourge to the world.

If any of these apply to you, please go to therapy immediately.

We would rather not be hurt by your awesomeness.

The last condition is actually very rare. Just imagine you’re in the Library Conference Room having a lecture. You’re sitting at the end of the round table. You start to feel a little queasy and the room starts moving. Suddenly you look up and all the boys are dressed in heavy metal armor. Swords and shields in their hands. All of the girls are wearing long, layered dresses and their hairs are up in complex buns. You look down and you are holding an iron helmet and a golden chalice.

Arthuritis.

Now that you are aware of these terrible diseases and conditions, Graded can be a healthier place. But please note: these conditions aren’t real; they’re made up on Urban wordpress.com Dictionary. If you go see a doctor because of this, well… let’s just say you’ll be a famous joke amongst the nurses.

KEY: Textophrenia: Feeling your phone vibrate when it really didn’t.

Dysania: The state of finding difficulty with getting out of bed in the morning Mephobia: The fear of becoming so awesome that the world can’t handle it and everyone dies.

Arthuritis: The delusion that one is a knight of the Round Table.

Sources used in this article: urbandictionary.com

sports

Intellectual Pranking

When elite schools take jokes to the next level Kyle Bissell

I

t is not surprising that when thinking of nerds, the reader may find it challenging to draw some association with sports. I must admit that we writers of the sports section found this new edition’s theme to be a bit of a nuisance. For a while we were under the impression that the other sections had chosen this theme just to mess with us. Luckily, in a desperate attempt to find any subject I could possibly write about, I stumbled upon the Harvard-Yale football rivalry and saw that it was ranked as the sixth best in college athletics rivalries by Sports Illustrated in 2003. The discovery was a boon, but not because of the actual game.

The Harvard-Yale rivalry is, according to Wikipedia, the second oldest active rivalry and the third most played in college football history. Since its birth in 1875, the Harvard Crimson and the Yale Bulldogs have faced off 127 times. Yale leads the series 65-54-8. Although this is all exciting, what truly caught my attention was the prank Yale played on Harvard during their game in 2004.

As usual, there was a huge turnout ready to see an exhilarating game. The winner would get bragging rights. A group of Yale students decided to take the rivalry to the next level when they posed as members of the fictitious “Harvard Pep Squad” and even had t-shirts made. They disguised themselves with face paint and fake student IDs and passed out colored placards to the Harvard students that were supposed to say “GO HARVARD.” Little did they know the mosaic actually said “WE SUCK.” This of course was met by laughter throughout the entire stadium. Yale went on to win that game. The photo has circulated around the net ever since.

flickr.com

It is the pranks that separate “nerd” college sports from regular sports. The Yale prank took quite a lot of planning and who best to do it than the sharp-minded students from New Haven? Another humorous example of genius pranking was seen at the 1982 Harvard-Yale football game. On a seemingly normal game day, the Harvard and Yale fans were puzzled by the presence of a large balloon that grew to about a six-foot diameter before it exploded. This initial surprise was swiftly followed by anger when the Yale and Harvard crowd realized that the balloon was graced with the letters MIT. The MIT school president later requested to put the balloon on display. I’m happy to see that these engineers found their own way to grab some of the sports spotlight, even if it isn’t by the traditional athletic means. It is evident that although these students may have higher GPAs and SAT scores, we share much of the same humor.

These crafty pranks have successfully caught the sports viewers’ attention and that is part of the reason why the Harvard-Yale rivalry is so popular. The athletic skill is not the same as the biggest sports schools but the fact that they do not seem to take it as seriously makes it all the more fun.

I look forward to seeing what the future world leaders will do in the next prank to get a one-up in this legendary and amusing.

All this leads me to the conclusion that Graded needs to get in on the pranking. I would love to see the Chapel Trojans left without an idea of what hit them. I propose that as a school we embrace pranks in our athletics and see what happens. Now before you decide to go burn the St. Paul’s mascot, I ask that you use common sense. The best pranks are well thought out and in good taste. We want laughter, freerepublic.com not tears.

the talon • 25

sports

Most Successful Nerdy Athletes

What actually happened with this fantastic four and their athletic careers Kevin Wolfson

3. Leonard Hofstadter An experimental physicist with Caltech as his alma mater, Leonard is known to be the lesser geek of his clan. With friends like Raj, Sheldon, and Howard, it’s pretty tough not to fall to the nerdy side. Yet, Leonard has a unique trait that separates him from all the other geeks. Experienced and very flexible, Hofstadter boosts acumen in the art of laser dodging.

This is a very exclusive sport, only playable by experts because of its dangerous nature. Hofstadter’s teammates often include Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and that really flexible guy on Youtube.

servimg.com

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2. Bill Gates The Big Papa of computers, Bill Gates is probably the founder of the nerd community. After dropping out of Harvard to pursue his dream, this man created a virtual world that allows us, with just a few hits on the keyboard, to accomplish almost anything. Yet Gates wasn’t restricted to being proficient with his fingers to do great things. He was also a master at soccer, or as they call in in the country he played in, fútbol. Substituting Messi in Barcelona’s starting lineup for three years straight, Gates always scored the most goals during the season and was a favorite of the team’s manager, Josep Guardiola. s-msn.com

tvacres.com

4. Spock Although spending most of his time traveling through space serving the starship Enterprise, this half-human, halfvulcan beast developed a new swimming technique called the “V,” which allowed him to break universal records in the 100M. As shown below, Spock always refused to wear a Speedo while swimming even though everyone told him that not doing so would slow him down. Evidently he didn’t need it: he was the Usain Bolt of the waters, winning over 10 Olympic Gold Medals and almost putting the Speedo company out of business (all his fans decided to wear Enterprise uniforms while swimming).

1. Albert Einstein A revolutionary, this German-born theoretical physicist changed the laws of physics forever because of his theory of relativity. Spending countless hours inside of labs and working on his math problems, you would expect this man not to be in the best physical shape. That’s where the genius kicks in.

Very few people know that Einstein spent most of his time researching the human body, specifically how to reach the perfect body. This is why he has won many awards as both a body builder and personal trainer, and even had his own exercise systems for sale in the Polishop TV of the time. Having both brains and brawn, he was the true ladies’ man.

nerdnirvana.org

sports

Nerds and Sports Fans Opposites? Nah, they’re almost the same...

Rafael Rocha

T

he stereotypical geek who wears Star Trek-themed shirts and craves for free time to play his computer games, and the sports fan who devotedly dedicates his time to catch up on the latest news on his team before game day may seem to have absolutely nothing in common. But analyzing both of these rabid fans with more depth tells us otherwise. While nerds and sports fans may deny how close they are to each other, there are some clear similarities.

Desire for memorabilia Face it — there are few things that make a nerd and a sports fan happier than knowing that they have an item of historical relevance in their hands. Whether it’s the rarest edition of a Pokemon trading card or the ball that Derek Jeter blasted for a home run on his 3000th career hit, the appreciation for rare objects is there. While nerds can point to a full collection of cups in their kitchen that collectively spell “T-R-O-N,” sports fans can show off their miniature sized helmets for all 32 NFL teams in their living rooms. While the actual memorabilia may be different, both sets of fans treasure these items as if they were their own children.

better. The Star Trek fan may even engage in serious arguments asserting his point of view to defend his side, but he may feel threatened by the loyal Star Wars fans because he has no one else to back him up. In the same manner, a Red Sox fan sitting among thousands of Yankee fans in New York will feel as if he is in hostile territory. If an argument ensues between these rival teams’ fans, things could easily get ugly.

Denying that they have anything in common If you ask a sports fan if he has anything in common with a nerd, he will most probably look at you inquisitively and answer briefly, “no.” The truth is, sports and nerds stand at opposite corners in society; while sports are stereotypically associated with athletic males and the outdoors, the average nerd is viewed as a puny, unsocial male who restricts himself to indoor environments. In the same way that sports sportsfan.org fans will deny any similarity with nerds, the latter will also deny any similarities with the former. However, this mutual denial can also be seen as a similarity.

Loyalty

Costumes Casually wearing a Super Mario 64 shirt or a jersey from a favorite football team may be very different from actually dressing up entirely like Mario or the player. When I say costumes, I mean thorough, detailed costumes, the types that you we plenty of in Halloween, although both nerds and sports fans know they can dress up this way any day of the week. For nerds, this includes transforming themselves into their favorite characters from movies, TV shows and videogames and even mimicking them. As for sports fans, they prefer face-painting, dying their hair to match their team’s colors and bringing outlandish colored outfits to the stands.

Hating on rivals and defending one’s side For an avid Star Trek fanatic, it can feel like hell being surrounded by dozens of younger nerds who think Star Wars is

For nerds and sports fans alike, it doesn’t matter how publicly ridiculed they get for being fanatic to the point that other people cannot understand them. Loyalty is ultimately the one thing that is almost identical in these fans. An X-Menthemed straw from the 90’s may be meaningless to most of us, but it might mean the world for many nerds. Most people would probably sell a baseball that could get thousands of dollars on the open market, but for a sports fan, there is nothing better than coming home and admiring the ball that was once touched by the very hands of their favorite player. It’s hard for the majority to comprehend why nerds and sports fans are so obsessed, but at the end of the day, it is just another trait they share.

Source used in this article: www.toplessrobot.com

the talon • 27

sports

Making the Grade

The term “scholar-athlete” is NOT an oxymoron Andrea Ferreira

I

n almost every movie ever made about high school, there are two distinct groups of people. On one end of the spectrum are the “jocks” and on the other the “nerds.” Unfortunately, this oversimplification is often carried into real life, and there is a common thought students can’t both earn good grades and participate in sports. But who says we can’t do it all? Now more than ever, top athletes are taking school seriously.

Consider, for example, Tiger Woods. Before he became successful in the professional golf world, Tiger was a college student attending a top-of-the-line university. Woods attended Stanford University on a golf scholarship while majoring in economics. His teammates even dubbed him “Urkel” after the legendary Family Matters nerd.

Now, take Mia Hamm, the all-time leading scorer for the United States national soccer team and one of the women that help popularize women’s soccer. Hamm attended University of North Carolina and finished college, earning a degree in political science all while winning a FIFA World Championship and leading the Tar Heels to four NCAA titles. In fact during this student-athlete’s career, they won ninety-four out of ninety five games.

Colts quarterback Peyton Manning is another scholar athlete. Attending the University of Tennessee, Peyton excelled on the field and off it. On top of being the Volunteer’s starting quarterback, he also managed to graduate from college in three years with a degree in Speech Communications. Despite finishing his degree early and being a top draft pick, Manning decided to remain in college for his senior year.

Here at Graded there is no shortage of excellent student-athletes. Balancing both the mountains of homework as well as varsity practices is a challenging feat, but Hyun Ho Lee and Isa Zevallos make this look effortless. Lee, a junior starter on the basketball team, and Ze, a senior starter on the soccer team, share their tips on balancing the two worlds.

How long have you played your sport?

HHL: This is my fifth year playing basketball for Graded.

IZ: I have played soccer since I was quite small. For Graded, I started playing futsal since freshman year.

What do you do to prepare yourself for games?

HHL: I eat and sleep.

IZ: To prepare for games, I always have my small “ritual” composed of tying my scapular to my shirt, putting our little game quote underneath my right shin guard, and listening to two specific songs that Yana and I always listen to before games.

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On top of athletics, clubs, and school do you do any community service?

HHL: I do FALA, Habitat for Humanity, and help at the Math Center.

IZ: I am a GEE leader and I am part of Habitat for Humanity.

How do you find time for all these activities on top of IB? HHL: I find time to do these by just planning my after school time well.

IZ: The key to all of this is to know how to prioritize and to be well aware of time management. I always try to be on task for everything I do, that is, if I am behind on anything, that’s when problems usually start to arise, and I try to prepare myself for all-nighters and lack of sleep. As long as you keep a cool head and try to not procrastinate (even though that is pretty hard), it should all be fine. Plus, I find that having less time to do my homework actually makes me much more productive.

Isa, as someone who lived through a full IB junior year, what advice do you have for younger students about attempting to juggle a full IB schedule, sports, and community service?

IZ: For one, know what you’re getting into. From experience, sports are what take up most of my time by far–more than homework, at times. Yet, it is all doable: you may suffer from lack of sleep every now and then, and maybe you will have to sacrifice something at one point, but having an active school life is quite amazing. Be prepared, be on task for everything, try not to procrastinate, be able to prioritize and manage your time well.

What advice would you give other student athletes looking to improve their grades/ game?

HHL: Don’t slack off, don’t procrastinate (I sometimes do it too!), and plan ahead.

IZ: For both grades and game, there is one thing that will help you: go after your goal. For grades, talk to teachers, figure out what mistakes you made on your tests, and so on. For games, your goal can most likely be accomplished by practicing and trying to make the best out of your practice time.

Plus, for both games and grades: practice makes perfect.

Isa and Lee, good luck at Big 8 and finishing your seasons!

Sources used in this article: espn.com, myplan.com, ncaa.com, phillysportstc.com