OUR MISSION
SUBMISSIONS
Published monthly, The Talon strives to be an innovative student magazine that is entertaining, intellectually provocative, and visually engaging. We are conscious of the responsibility of writing and publishing, and we seek to create a dynamic magazine that is worthy of its readers. We show respect for our readers by exposing them to a variety of perspectives. Ultimately, The Talon seeks to bring Graded to the world and the world to Graded.
The Talon wants to hear from you! We encourage submissions and ideas for articles and themes from all members of the Graded community. We publish in English, Portuguese, French, and Spanish. We reserve the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. The opinions expressed in the articles are those of the writers and not necessarily of The Talon. For this reason, we do not accept anonymous submissions. Send submissions, ideas, and themes to talon@graded.br.
TALON STAFF 2011-2012
First, Relax.
EDITORS-IN-CHIEF: Andrea Estrada & Artur Renault LAYOUT EDITOR: Isabella Zevallos NEWS: Yana Ahlden (Editor), Courtney Villeneuve (Assistant Editor), Daniel Almeida, Mendel Schwarz FEATURES: Ho Jun Yang (Editor), Adam Hunt Fertig (Assistant Editor), Mariana Lepecki, Lucas Zuccolo ENTERTAINMENT: Julia Wu (Editor), Ines Gil (Assistant Editor), Kevin Bengtsson, Yasmin Della Nina SPORTS: Kyle Bissell (Editor), Kevin Wolfson (Assistant Editor), Andrea Ferreira, Rafa Rocha COLUMNISTS: Maria Alas, Carol Di Roberto, Julia Abreu BLOGGERS: Camille Saliba & Paty Kim
You have in your hands the last Talon of the semester. In just a few days, our glorious holiday begins. Read Artur and Panda’s Top Ten on the page 4 for their reasons why they can’t wait for vacation. We’re sure you can add many more to that list.
Then, Consider This: Consider submitting something to the next Talon. The deadline is not until Monday, 6 February, 16:00, so you have plenty of time to write. If you want to write on the theme, it’s Fail. You could write about an experience you had with failure and what you learned, historical errors that proved costly, that ridiculous mistake that changed everything, attempts to be cool/smart that fell short, or even the meaning of this Samuel Beckett quote: “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” While you are wiling away the hours during the long holiday, find inspiration for our Fail theme on the Fail Blog on the Cheezeburger Network:
PHOTOGRAPHER: Nicole Vladimirschi ▪ ▪ ▪ TEACHER ADVISORS: Josh Berg & Mary Pfeiffer PORTUGUESE LANGUAGE CONSULTANT: Maggie Moraes ▪ ▪ ▪ E-mail: talon@graded.br Blog: http://tal-on-line.blogspot.com
About the Cover This month I took a shot at the cover. With our “clichés” theme in mind, I tried to think of the most classic publication cover possible for this month’s Talon: a vintage newspaper. It’s not exactly cliché, but it certainly is instantly familiar to people. On the back, I put cliché movie plots as headlines, as well as some old-timey self-promotion. All this was to make this cover as cliché as possible, without losing its humor. —Artur Renault
Article length should be around 800 words with an image (attach the JPEG to the email), or 900 words without an image. Submit to talon@graded.br.
We be green: Since August 2007, The Talon has been printed on recycled paper. Reduce, reuse, recycle!
editors-in-chief
Clichés I Hate Literally Artur Renault
I
f you know me, you probably know I am an extremely ra-
happy you are. This expression started as “heels over head,”
tional person. I think linearly and I like it when things make
and was a hyperbole implying that the speaker was so happy
sense. That’s why I hate some clichés—many expressions in our
that he was doing cartwheels to celebrate. Sometime in that
language are used so much that nobody checks to see if they
phrase’s history, something went very wrong, the word order
make sense anymore. In fact, most make no sense. Here are
was reversed, and the idiom stopped making sense. If your head
some of the ones that irritate me the most.
is not always over your heels, you’re doing something wrong. And if somebody tells you he or she is “head over heels” in love
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“Shoot for the moon; even if you miss, you’ll land among
with you, raise an eyebrow and say you’re not impressed.
the stars.” I had a Facebook fight about this recently. This proverb
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“needless to say”
intends to mean the following: you should aim for a very unlikely
I understand why some people use this one; I’m even
and desirable goal (the moon), because every time you fail to
tempted to use it myself. It gives a nice emphasis and points out
reach it, you’ll achieve some other good thing (landing among
that what comes after it is self-evident. But the reason why I
the stars). Let’s ignore the fact that this isn’t true, since missing
hate this expression so much is simple: if something is needless
that goal could lead to horrible consequences. Let’s also ignore
to say, why are you saying it? Most of the time this sentence
the fact that this is completely incorrect astronomically: if you
precedes another that is not actually “needless to say.” So
missed the moon, you’d be pulled back by either the sun’s or
what you’re doing by adding this phrase is making a fact that
the earth’s gravity or you’d fall into the huge, gaping void of
isn’t necessarily superfluous seem so. You’re saying, “the next
space forever. What makes this expression truly annoying is that
sentence was added so that my paper could be longer.” So don’t
neither of the goals is desirable. If you reach the moon, you’ll
add that. It’ll make your paper seem more sophisticated.
land in an inhospitable and boring desert. If you land among the stars (a far more unlikely outcome, by the way), you’ll
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“I’m not gonna lie.”
die in the vacuum of space or be burned in the core of one of
This one is more commonly used verbally. People say,
the giant balls of hydrogen and helium that stars actually are.
“I’m not gonna lie, that’s a really nice car.” It’s really nice
Whoever came up with this had either a pre-Galilean knowledge
that you’re being honest… but why would you lie? I see only
of astronomy or eccentric suicidal tendencies.
two ways in which that phrase makes sense: one, if you’re a known liar and are actually telling the truth for once; two, if
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“I could care less.” People who say this attempt to hyperbolize how little
they care about something, but their lazy use of “could” instead
you would be expected to tell a lie in that situation. Otherwise, it’s a completely unnecessary phrase that really adds nothing to what you’re trying to say.
of “couldn’t” (the correct word) results in the exact opposite meaning. When you say “I could care less,” you are essentially
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“literally”
saying that you care at least a little. You are being very vague;
Nowadays, this word is completely misused. While
you could care 0.000001, or you could care millions. You could
this word originally meant “actually,” “exactly,” or “without
care any amount, except zero. This makes the expression com-
hyperbole,” it is now often used to express emphasis. The word
pletely useless because that is exactly what it tries to convey:
makes sense if somebody has just stepped on you and you say
you care zero. Stop saying this. Saying “I couldn’t care less”
“he literally just stepped on me,” because people wouldn’t
is the correct expression, and it really doesn’t take that much
expect anyone to step on you. The word “literally” therefore
more effort.
indicates that you actually mean it. Most of the time, this word is used incorrectly. People say things like, “I literally died.” No
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“head over heels” If you’re the guy from Tears for Fears or are excited
about something, you might use this saying to indicate how
2 • the talon
you didn’t. You figuratively died, or else you wouldn’t be alive to say that sentence.
editors-in-chief
Searching for the Thrill of It Me, Hamlet, Empire of the Sun, Robert Frost and you Andrea Estrada
L
et’s try some progressive writing. I will provide a few hypothetical scenarios followed by my thoughts if I were to find myself in these situations. As you read, try it yourself. Fill in the ellipses with the thoughts that come to mind were these things to happen to you. Note that I will interrupt you halfway to change things up a little. 1. What if you went to college . . . I am thinking about what courses to take and what duvet to buy for my bed and who to talk to and whether I should hang out with other Graded people or avoid them in my effort to meet new people. Oh yeah, I’m on the verge of an emotional breakdown because I miss my family and Brazil— 2. Your dad died and you came home for the funeral . . . How? Why? How? Everything is broken. I can’t focus. The pain. How will I deal with my mom? Will she survive this? I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I just don’t know what to do— 3. Your mother got remarried . . . I don’t believe it. I don’t believe her. It’s so illogical. How could I be so naïve? What is wrong with the world? Who is this guy anyway? My brothers— what will they do? How can she do this to my little brothers? My mom should be devastated, lost— 4. to your uncle . . . (LOL!) How? Which one of the eleven? Did they email? Skype? We’re so far away from all my uncles, this seems entirely absurd. My life has gotten to such a point of surrealism that it isn’t even painful anymore. Nothing can happen that will shock me— 5. Then you found out your uncle killed your father . . . Shock. Hmm . . . Maybe not even. I don’t even know. What the hell? Wait, what? Revenge . . . Revenge? Why would I even seek revenge from people I clearly do not know anymore, never knew? I’ll just run away to Italy. Run away and open a café. Just kidding, I think I’ll go to Greece. Santorini. Yep, screw the world, the future, goodbye everyone. Hello Santorini! Confused? That was me in English class after we were assigned this progressive writing activity. It wasn’t until the fourth step that I realized this was our introduction to Hamlet, so I went from taking the activity very personally and seriously
to laughing uncontrollably at the thought of my mother with any of my eleven uncles. Poor Hamlet, everything that happens to him is irrational. It is cruel. These things don’t happen, let alone all at once. Those were my initial thoughts. Except . . . they do. The problem with movies, novels, soap operas and so on, is that they give the impression that this stream of absurd events always happens. snopes.com That’s where they’re deceiving. Life is not an 80-year-long ride on a rollercoaster. If it were we wouldn’t be searching “for the thrill of it,” as Empire of the Sun puts it, because we’d live in “the thrill of it” the whole time. But while it may not be an eternally thrilling ride, when you do get on that rollercoaster, hold on for dear life. People go to college and fathers die and mothers remarry to uncles and uncles kill fathers. People get mugged and get high and see ghosts and end up in the hospital. People fall in the pool and drown while mothers are watching TV. People go broke and die. People lose their pets, and best friends betray them. People love and then don’t. People forgive and people take revenge. All in a matter of days. In a matter of days people go to college and write a song and fall in love and enjoy the sunset. People travel the world and get married and have children and win the lottery. People get promoted and friendships get rebuilt and fathers apologize. People have car accidents and survive and people meet their idols. People don’t love and then they do. People are forgiven and countries end wars. All in a matter of days. You were running for the thrill of it, looking for a way to make your life a movie when suddenly you were pushed onto a ride that left you realizing Hamlet is far from fictitious. You became one of these people or found yourself surrounded by the people in the previous paragraph. I would say I hope you got the fairytale ride, but Robert Frost’s kind reminder that “Nothing gold can stay” makes me think otherwise. What’s a stream of highly fortunate events when you’re only climbing for a harder fall? A stream of unfortunate events is nothing better, though. In the end, the surreal quality prevails. Never looking down, just in awe of what’s in front of you, you ask yourself: Why me, why now? Is it real now? Maybe we all get our turn. Hamlet got his, now it’s ours. Life may seem uneventful, but here’s the thing—when it rains, it freaking pours.
the talon • 3
editors-in-chief
The Talon Top Ten Reasons why we can’t wait for vacation Artur Renault & Andrea Estrada 1. Sleep
6. Finally being done with applications
By the end of a semester at school, you find yourself thinking that four hours is plenty of sleep for one night. You don’t even realize that you’re starting to look like the Corpse Bride and that your thoughts don’t make sense. But when vacation comes, you realize that you need over ten hours a day of sleep, and even a minute less feels like a blow to your soul. Sleeping is what vacation is truly for.
The seniors have spent all semester (or the last two weeks) working on college applications. When vacation comes, all that will be over! Yay! But then begins a new, perhaps even more nerve-racking process: waiting for the results. Some of us have already gotten these—but most of us still have to wait for April. It will be the longest January, February, and March of our lives. But hopefully all will end with good news.
2. Holiday Food
7. Family Reunions
It doesn’t really matter which holiday you celebrate — cookies, turkey, ham, panettonne, latkes, and the nice bottle of champagne on New Year’s Eve await you. Food is everywhere. It’s the little chocolates when you visit family, the meals at every invitation you get, or merely the junk food you pig-out on when you’re home alone watching movies. If you have not started eating excessively this semester due to stress, holiday season is the time to do it.
There’s nothing like gathering with your extended family— food, gifts, and the sweet aunt that still acts bewildered at “How much you’ve grown!” That, or the bully uncle that is always asking how it’s going with “the girls” or whether you have a boyfriend you’re not telling anyone about. Plus the younger cousins running around the house screaming and crying. Oh, joy. Irritating aunts and uncles and cousins aside, family reunions really can be lovely.
3. Vacation Reading…LOL, NOT!
8. You need a break from Graded
We know you are all eagerly awaiting the English department’s assignments. The movies on airplanes suck anyways, and sleeping is unlikely, so what better plan than to read and annotate the whole ride? LOL! We lie! You are absolutely dreading the vacation assignments. A lot of us enjoy reading for pleasure, and vacation would seem like the ideal opportunity to indulge in books of your choice, but it is likely that The Handmaid’s Tale and Pride and Prejudice will make that difficult.
Graded is pretty cool and all, but you’re probably sick of it by now. Nobody can stand these orange hallways for more than six months. You’re probably sick of the teachers, the work, the food, the rooms, the chairs… Heck, you’re probably even sick of your friends. A break would be an excellent way to rest… I mean, we’re even sick of writing for The Talon… just kidding. We’d never get sick of this.
4. Traveling
For the superstitious, remember to take advantage this final holiday season. The world ends December 21, 2012. Embrace the Christmas spirit; tell people you love them. Tell your parents (or Santa) it’s their last chance to give you a really good present. Eat! Do all the crazy things you’ve always wanted to do on New Year’s. Make this final New Year's Resolution list count. Jews, no need to worry, you still have two Hanukkahs left to go!
Whether you’re going to Guarujá or Germany, Paris or Phnom Penh, traveling is always a highlight. It’s our chance to explore the world and our chance to travel home or see friends and family who live somewhere else. And travel can take many forms; it can be a journey of learning, shopping, sports, and more. Whatever it is, it’s certainly more exciting than spending eight hours a day sitting at a desk at school.
9. It’s the last Christmas and New Year’s ever
5. Not traveling
10. Your brain is fried (to the point that you can’t finish things like the Talon Top 10 List)
Not all of us travel every break, though. Some of us just spend the whole time at home, which is great too. That time can be spent socializing, working on hobbies, or just resting. Most of us will spend all day on Facebook, annotating, or looking for something to do. But hey, being bored at home is still way better than being bored at school.
Yes, we are having a hard time coming up with reason number ten. That’s how brain-dead we are—surely you are, too. None of us really knows what’s going on and homework doesn’t get done because no one bothers remembering it. Everyone is just so tired. What we need is a nice vacation to regenerate our brains and perhaps come back more lucid next semester.
4 • the talon
point of view
The Many Faces of Christmas Christian commemoration, conservation catastrophe, or capitalist conviviality? Lucas Zuccolo
W
hether you’re Christian or not, you probably recognize the date December 25. If I add the year 0 to that date, a very particular event comes to mind. Well, what if I told you that Jesus was actually born somewhere between 7-2 BC, with estimates most likely putting it in the years 4 or 2 BC? That’s weird, no? It gets even better: he wasn’t born on December 25 either. In fact, he wasn’t even born during summer (or winter, for the northern-hemisphere folks). Jesus was actually born sometime during spring (northern autumn), most likely between September 16 and 29. Why then do we celebrate Christmas on that particular day? Well, before answering, let me add a side note: early Christians did not celebrate Jesus’ birth. Christmas was only officially declared to be celebrated (on December 25) in 440 AD. So, back to the question—why this particular date? Why not celebrate on his actual birthday? First off, because there were no records (biblical or otherwise) of the exact date. So any date was up for grabs. Just declaring any random day to be a major religious holiday, however, would hardly be practical, and might even harm Christians’ ability to proselytize. The smartest thing to do was to choose an existing holiday or celebration, and integrate Christmas into it. Considering the wealth of Pagan religions that worshipped the sun (amongst other things), what better day than the shortest day of the year, after which the days start getting longer and longer? The day followed by increased sunlight. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the winter solstice was a perfect date practically and symbolically on which to institute Christmas. And so it was Now, as entertaining and informative as that tidbit of historical knowledge is, it is not the main basis of this article, but rather a starting point—a bit of context to put things in perspective. As you may have realized, Christmas was never all about spirituality. It began as a means to help Christianity
spread, but has since been adopted by quite a different system: consumerism. The star above the Christmas tree is now nowhere near as important as the presents below it. But of course, you’ve heard that before. After all, almost every time someone touches on capitalism and consumerism, Christmas receives a harsh scolding and everyone agrees that the indiscriminate spending so often observed end-year is an environmental holocaust and all that. Yet every year we continue to give and receive sports jerseys, cool gadgets and whatnot. Well, let’s not go down that road. Let’s approach Christmas from a more numerical perspective. During the merry month of December, retail sales usually increase 30-40%. Department store revenues generally rise 70% above the rest of the year. And the economic turbo boost isn’t limited to this one month; for the transport and shipping companies bringing Santa’s goodies to a store near you, increased activity begins as early as September. To a company, Christmas can make the difference between rising stock prices and being in the red. This brings all sorts of secondary effects, too. The lowest unemployment rates are registered during this period, when the market is flooded with temporary jobs needed to keep up with the increased demand. In some countries, such as Brazil, the extra economic activity is so heavy that one month just doesn’t cut it—employees are granted a 13th salary to help spread the Christmas cheer. Oh joy! Christmas also used to mean huge surpluses and unbelievable January sale prices, but that’s changing as well. As companies begin selling Christmas-related products for a larger stretch of time, starting a bit earlier every year, they are increasingly able to manage production so that they have just enough to sell everything and maximize profits, while not over-producing and being left with a pile of outdated goods. In effect, Christmas allows them not only to turn huge profits but to clean out their stocks, selling the old to make room for the new. Depending on whom you ask, Christmas can be a holy day in commemoration of one of the most celebrated religious figures, a reason for distress over the ecological implications of consumerism, or a major event serving as a stimulus to world economy. Well, what to think? Whichever one you prefer to believe in. Or none. After all, why should one day in the year be so markedly different from the rest? Bah, humbug! Sources used in this article: wikipedia.org; www.cgg.org; en.144000.net; www.rbs.com
kissmypassportbyalikona.com
the talon • 5
point of view
I Hate People I really do
Kevin Shimba Bengtsson
I
ndeed, I hate people. You did not read that incorrectly. And yes, I realize the irony of the statement, being a person myself, but who said I can’t be a hypocrite? In fact, what prompted me to write this article was also a person—Talon colleague Daniel Almeida – to whom I once had the ingenious idea of blurting “I hate people!” instigating much mockery to this day. All that aside, however, I present to you the infallible, or only slightly fallible, logic behind my controversial claim. People are too interested in things. Have you ever tried talking alone with a single person, but for some ungodly reason you keep getting interrupted all the time because other people want to know what you’re talking about? Have you ever been questioned as to why it is you dress the way you do or why you listen to the music that you do? Has somebody asked you what you got on your math quiz or asked to see your Veracross? Chances are you answered yes to one of these questions and that in and of itself proves my point. This is the primary reason as to why, at one point in time, I stated that I hated people, but this isn’t all. People are overly concerned. “Oh my gosh, my English grade is a 93 when it could be a 94 if only Ms. Lady gave me extra credit!” People always seem to be in deep concern over anything that is even slightly troubling, and this makes me question whether there is really any concern at all. People are mean. Self-explanatory really, but let’s just say people aren’t exactly the kindest beings out there. They fight, argue aggressively, say unkind words to each other and make fun of each other at any time of the day, even during lunch (and I thought lunch was supposed to be a time of peace)! Most of the time, these things are followed by a “just kidding,” or something that would insinuate the same, but does that really exempt them from the meanness? If we consider these actions to be mean in the first place, does calling them a joke actually make a difference? People are lazy. I don’t think I can count on my fingers and toes the amount of times I’ve been asked “can you do me a favor?” only to have said question followed by the prompting of a trivial task such as “could you pick up my pencil?” People
6 • the talon
will constantly ask you to do things that they could easily do, without any help whatsoever. Despite this, however reluctant you are to do it, you always end up doing it because… People are nice. Yes, I realize it might be quite counter-intuitive to hate people because they are mean and at the same time because they are nice, but it’s not like I care. As human beings, we can be benevolent, so when incited to pick up a pencil, we do it whether we want to or not. This irksome aspect of people really boggles my mind— why can’t we just say no? Why can’t we just look into the other person’s eyes and just say “I honestly don’t want to do it, I don’t want to pick up your pencil.” I wonder if it’s because people are nice or because… People are liars. The cashier at a store asks if you have 20 cents so as to make giving change for a twenty real bill Artur Renault easier when paying for something that costs R$10,20 and you say no because you are too lazy to reach for your wallet which you already put away. Or, you say you wouldn’t mind if someone borrowed your pen even though, at the end of the day, you totally mind, because you know that they’ll never return it. People are people. What better reason to hate people other than that they are people? This isn’t an indirect (or direct) backlash at anyone in particular, I just happen to dislike people as a whole. Yes, I have friends, individuals who I like; I just don’t happen to be a fan of people. Pee pull. Ugh, what an ugly word; it’s spelled weirdly (seriously, since when is “peo” pronounced as “pee”?) and it’s phonetically displeasing to the ear. I reiterate, to whoever reads this: I don’t hate you. I hate people, and that’s different. I could go on endlessly explaining my reasoning as to why I would say such a thing, but this article is a brief enough synthesis. There are countless reasons to hate people and I hope that the six reasons presented here are enough for you to see the light and understand where I’m coming from. On a side note, I do yield that my logic might be more fallible than I originally claimed, but that was just part of my marketing scam for you to continue reading. And if you’ve read this far, I think my marketing strategy has defeated you (yeah, I myself am probably one of the reasons I hate people).
point of view
On Growth
Joining forces with time Julia Wu
A
semester has flown by, and like always, I wish I could grab it by the tail, and greedily pull it back towards me. I’d pause time and live my high school years over and over again until I’m content with the results. Once I fix all the imperfections and do everything the right way, I’ll move on. Sounds delusional, doesn’t it? Yet—I don’t know why—voices in my head demand extraordinariness, flawlessness… perfection. When I try to search within myself for the root of such expectations, I struggle, and then escape. It’s more than the desire to put together a stunning, impeccable resume for college, because I’d also live my entire life again if I could. It’s a phobia about the unyielding passing of time and impossibility of starting with a clean slate. But now, I’ll face it. I hereby confront the very question I escape from: why do I have trouble getting over the advancement of time? First, I fear failure. While I like studying, and do realize the value of savoring a place like Graded, that doesn’t mean I am able to succeed every single time, at everything I do. I am no machine that works incessantly with 100% efficiency. I can even be discouraged, and feel like I am not who I want to be. Like many Graded students, I load my vision with goals and my backpack with tasks. I have tripped and fallen many times, finding myself in distress during the relentless pursuit of perfection. The more obsessive I am about needing time, the less I can put my finger on it. I used to be able to guess the time, and be off by a minute or two. Now, my occasional glances at the clock frighten me, and I have trouble remembering what day it is. I can’t come to terms with the month I find myself in. The scariest thing about this condition is that I don’t know if my sanity is worth jeopardizing. Hard work doesn’t guarantee return. In fact, nobody will care how hard I’ve worked until that work has some sort of meaning. When I reach conclusions like these, I find that having unlimited time isn’t necessarily the cure. Still, the thought of having a set number of days left to excel or “make a difference” before I become an adult appalls me. I’m scared of my birthday approaching. I don’t want to grow old without having shone. Sometimes I wish time could leave me alone and depart on a vacation somewhere in the Caribbean, or over the rainbow, I don’t know, and come back when I’m mature—mature enough to sit, talk, negotiate and
settle our relationship. Then again, I’m scared of congestion. Freezing time means trapping myself in a solid frame. Maybe time is not worth stopping just because I need to get work done. Sometimes I wish I could grow up quicker to save the world earlier. Gee, it’s a love-hate relationship. Time can be suffocating, but it works matchless magic when it ticks. Growth’s increments are building blocks of time. See, we’ve been looking ourselves in the mirror since before most of us can remember. I look at mirrors at least eight times a day, every day. I have never once said to myself, “I know what changed in me today! I grew 0.02 centimeters. My lashes are longer. I have another wrinkle by my left eye.” Yet changes like these have occurred and are occurring at a fascinating rate over the years, inside and out. It’s asiapacfinance.com just that they’re imperceptible, like a magician’s tricks. Pull out a picture from 7th grade, and you’ll go, “WHOA, I’ve changed so much over the years!” It took looking back to realize progress. No more than three years ago, I used to argue with my grandma because I told her I wanted to be a celebrity. Six years ago, I knew I was going to be Miss Universe. I’d practice my wave in front of the mirror. As much as we may feel we know what we want, nothing is guaranteed until time proves so. Fifteen years from now, I could be a lawyer, CEO, writer, chef, spy, painter, housewife (?!)… anything. I used to try very hard to plan out my entire life, all of its milestones. But what’s there to live for if I already know what’s going to happen? Look, I’m not advocating that we shouldn’t set goals. Goals are fundamental, but mistaken applications of them can let us down. I am threatening myself with targets and penalties right now, though I know I don’t have enough time to make everything unfold perfectly. Years from now, I might actually be somewhere different from what I expect. And even if my future ends up falling into my expected category, I will still have to go through a current of unexpected events. There’s a certain beauty to uncertainty. So I say, breathe—it’s okay to be foolish and imperfect before becoming old and wise (and we would still be imperfect then). Cope with time. This is the period we’re supposed to look back on when we’re facing greater problems, like mid-life crises, and smile. Make it worthwhile, not overwhelming.
the talon • 7
news
Saber-Toothed...What? An animation film “discovers” a new prehistoric species Mariana Lepecki
F
ossils. They are ancient bones that together build a skeleton the small skull and fang (that was also found along with the of knowledge, allowing paleontologists not only to discover skull) belonged to a “saber-toothed squirrel” or Cronopio dennew species, but also to learn about our evolutionary past and tiacutus. The new species received this scientific name because how the organisms that we live with came to be. Fossils are of its narrow snout and long fangs, that were similar to the probably one of the hardest objects to search for, since pa- saber-toothed tiger’s, but was much smaller in length,though leontologists say that they have knowledge of only about one only 20-23 centimeters in length. The Paleontologists believe that their extra pointy canines were likely mammal genus for every million years adapted to capturing and eating a variety between 65 and 220 million years ago. of differefnt insects. So, how can you look for something The South American Cronopio dentiathat you don’t even know exists? cutus, is actually the second oldest mamWell, with a lot of research and digmal ever found in this region, and it lived ging in the dirt, paleontologists have during a time when dinosaurs still roamed succeeded once again. However this the Earth. This is a very significant find, time things were a little different. for not only is it incredibly hard to find Although they were the first ones to mammal fossils of this age because of their officially recognize this organism as a small size, but for also the team believes real mammal, they were technically that it provides a “tantalizing glimpse into not the first ones to discover it. Why? news.nationalgeographic.com the history of early mammals.” Simply because a kid’s cartoon movie Experts believe that this saber“discovered” that mammal first… toothed squirrel appeared during the end of the Triassic period. Ice Age, the animated children’s film with a fictional take on the lives of Earth’s ancient inhabitants, has fascinated This period is particularly significant in Earth’s evolutionary millions worldwide. With a wooly mammoth, a saber-toothed history, for it not only marked the beginning of the Mesozoic tiger and a Megalonyx (giant ground sloth) as the protagonists era, but it was during this time that the first mammals and of the story, the movie portrays a comical take on prehistory, dinosaurs started roaming on our planet. The Triassic period and although it is mainly fiction, it was still able to teach its began after something (which scientists speculate to be things viewers about some of the organisms that existed during that like large-scale volcanic eruptions, climate change or run-ins time. One of the factors that led to the great success of the with comets or asteroids) caused the extinction of 90% of film was one particular character. Scrat, the squirrel who was Earth’s species, a time known as the Great Dying. After that, obsessed with running after his nut, was extremely entertain- the surviving species began to repopulate the Earth, eventually ing to viewers who instantly fell in love with his ugly charm. leading to the first mammals and dinosaurs. Going against the status quo, a Fox animated film Paleontologists like Guillermo Rogiers however, failed to see unconsciously beat the expert paleontologists, and was able this charm, thinking that the character “looked ridiculous” and wasn’t biologically accurate. Little did he know that a couple to “discover” this strange species of our evolutionary past. of years later, he would lead a study that would reveal that Although the creation of Scrat didn’t involve any scientific research (since they didn’t know about the species’ existence at Scrat is, in fact, historically accurate. In 2002, Rogiers’ team discovered a mostly complete the time), it is a great example of how creativity and imaginaskull during an excavation in a rural village in northern Argen- tion can surprise and even contradict the most brilliant inteltina. However, because the fossil was surrounded by rocks, lectuals of our time. There’s really no way of knowing whether they weren’t able to properly remove it, preventing them the Cronopio dentiacutus resembled Scrat’s lovable persona in from identifying the organism. So, in 2005, the team sent the any way, but maybe that’s all right. Just like the paleontologists rocks that contained the skull to a technician who was able mentioned, they know little about our vast prehistoric history. to properly remove the skull after three years of meticulous work, thus enabling the paleontologists to scrutinize the fossil to determine its hidden identity. After a lot of research and contemplation, the team was finally able to come to a conclusion. They revealed that
8 • the talon
Sources used in this article: news.nationalgeographic.com; science.nationalgeographic.com/science/prehistoric-world/ triassic/
news
Clichés in the Media
What are they, where are they, and why don’t I notice them? Maria Fernanda Alas
C
hris Pash came up with the seven clichés most used by journalists by surveying articles in newspapers and the media for the past nine years. He managed this by using the global database Dow Jones Factiva, which collects articles from 25,000 major newspapers, magazines, newswires and other forms of media. In the past fifteen months, Pash noticed that the number one cliché used by journalists has been “At the end of the day.” He hypothesizes that this is due to the abundance of the phrase in speeches by politicians, since most of the news revolves around them. Pash came up with the following list of the seven most overused clichés: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.
At the end of the day Split second About face Unsung heroes Outpouring of support Last-ditch effort Concerned residents
Truthfully, I was shocked because I have not noticed the majority of those phrases in the articles I read. And reading the news is the only thing I do on my ride to school every morning. So I wondered, why were these clichés going unnoticed? I soon thought of the many times I had been compelled to add a cliché to one of my own Talon articles, and chose not to add it due to the fact that it was a cliché and it was best to omit phrases deemed meaningless. I imagine this must be the similar thought process of journalists who know adding a phrase that is overused to the point of losing its meaning will discredit the content of their articles. Journalism is a cut-throat business, and it is best to leave out a sentence like “no one ever said life was fair” because absolutely everyone says life isn’t fair—who takes that phrase seriously anymore? But I don’t want to completely discredit clichés. I know that there is some truth to the ones used in the media. If there wasn’t, then they wouldn’t have become clichés in the first place. For that reason, they probably go unnoticed most of the time—they seem to make what we’re reading flow
naturally and make more accessible the topic being addressed. Imagine watching the news one Sunday morning, and the reporter is talking about a man who heroically saved a kitty that was stuck in the highest branch of the tree. Before the kitty fell, the man grabbed it in a split second, therefore saving its life. If the reporter had said the man grabbed it in “a short amount of time,” then he wouldn’t successfully transmit the adrenaline of the moment, which is what he altinkum-didim.co.uk is trying to do. That being said, please excuse the cliché of a man saving a kitty that was about to fall to its death. I decided to research clichés in the news on my own to see if I could find as many clichés in the media as Pash claims there are. I realized that clichés are more common in sections of the news that are labeled “Entertainment” than anywhere else, and that clichés seem to hover in articles that are meant to raise awareness, hope or promote change. This made sense because Obama is constantly being slammed about his own three biggest clichés of hope, change and unity. On the other hand, articles that address very emotionally profound topics are free of clichés. I read an article that was quite lengthy on CNN about the mingi killings in Ethiopia and found zero clichés, or zero of the more obvious ones. In such a situation, the journalist is aware that every phrase she uses must portray the horrors of the murders of children considered “mingi,” or cursed, in the remote Omo River Valley of Ethiopia. A cliché could automatically change the tone of the article, and nothing written that relates to such events should be linked to something that has lost its meaning—such as a cliché. Although it is true that clichés have some meaning to them—which is something Pash makes note of in his analyses— they are phrases that should not be condoned in the articles we read every day. Those articles inform us of the events happening in the world we live in, which should be taken into serious consideration by those providing us with the information and those of us on the receiving end. So at the end of the day, we should all make a last-ditch effort to omit the clichés that could discredit our writing in a split second. Now, point out the least meaningful sentence in this article.
the talon • 9
news
Occupy Wall Street “We are the 99%”
Ho Jun Yang
W
e are the 99%.” This cry has been the message of ongoing demonstrations throughout the US, a movement called Occupy Wall Street (OWS). The slogan refers to the differences in income between the wealthiest 1% and the rest of the population. On September 17, 2011, the group began a loosely organized protest that they said was inspired by the Arab Spring Revolts. They began protesting in New York’s financial district, holding their “headquarters” in Zuccotti Park (a park in Lower Manhattan). According to some of the early protestors, the idea was to try and bring about similar revolutions seen in places such as Egypt and Tunisia. Roughly three weeks into the protest, similar demonstrations erupted in cities such as Chicago, Boston, Washington, and others. Around October, this inspired people in other countries in Europe, Asian and the Americas, to protest as well. A demonstration for the betterment of people’s lives sounds worthy, but what’s the purpose, or more precisely, the list of demands of this group? This has been one of the biggest criticisms of OWS. Without any concrete list of demands, the protest has been voicing varied complaints, from student loans to unemployment. However, despite widespread criticism, it seems that there is indeed a single purpose. The demonstrators describe themselves on their website, occupywallst.org, as a “leaderless resistance movement with people of many colors, genders and political persuasions. The one thing we all have in common in that we are the 99 percent that will no longer tolerate the greed and corruption of the 1 percent.” However, this still doesn’t help elucidate the point of their protests. Based on all of their complaints, as explained by New York Times, OWS is protesting “against corporate greed, social inequality and the corrosive power of major banks and multinational corporations over the democratic process.” In other words, they’re voicing an opinion that the capitalist system in corporate America is not working and needs to change. How have different groups responded to this direct attack of the system? The first response came from the police. As early as a within a week of the start of the demonstration, the police have arrested hundreds of protestors. As the movement grew, the police put in a much greater effort to try and control the crowd and, according to the New York Times on October 1, “the police arrested more than 700 demonstrators.” By October 20, the number had increased to 942. It seemed to prominent labor unions that this movement would bring them more “traction of their own,” and they
10 • the talon
decided to support it. Thousands of union members decided to protest alongside the original OWS members in Zuccotti Park. It was through the help of unions that the protestors received money, members and stature. This demonstration quickly received a political response as well. By the fourth week, leading Democratic figures as well as Republican voices began commenting on it. The liberals embraced the anti-Wall street protests and viewed it as a way to gather support for the left. Even President Obama has sympathized with the cause of this group. He described it as demonstrating a “frustration” that many Americans feel. However, despite their support, the Democrats are a bit wary of fully endorsing the protesters, fearing that it might push the party to the extreme left. On the other hand, leading Republicans have been increasingly critical of the protests as being composed of “jealous” anti-capitalists. There is a general feeling in the US that the time had come for repercussions for the corporate capitalist system. According to thinkprogress.org, thirty major corporations in the US have not paid any income taxes in the last three years, while making 160 billion dollars. The ratio of wages of top paid CEOs to the average worker salary over the past few decades is greater than 400%. Richard Wilkinson, a researcher in social inequalities, remarked in a presentation of a TED conference that, in developed nations, it is such wealth disparities that correlate to a higher occurrence of health and social problems (mental illness, infant mortality, illiteracy, homicides). Thus, it was necessary for the Occupy Wall Street movement to have occurred. However, after midnight on November 15, the police brought the unfortunate news that the protesters had to vacate the park so that the park’s sanitation crew could clear out the area. This was a decision supported by the New York court as well as the city’s mayor, Michael Bloomberg. As the police cleared out the park, things turned aggressive as they ripped the protesters’ tents and smashed their computers. In total, about 200 protesters were arrested and dozens of others as well as various credentialed members of the media were handled roughly. As for the fate of the protesters, having been barred from getting back in the park, the New York movement is facing quite a challenge. Despite this, the Occupy movement stands strong in many cities in the rest of the nation. But the question remains, will the protesters in New York be able to find a new place that will help them to continue spreading their message?
entertainment
Every Day I’m Copyin’ Tiresome formulas in modern music
Adam Fertig
H
onestly, pop music today doesn’t show much hope for the future of the music industry. The flashiness, the wealth, the technique of calling in a rapper for every song... it’s become a formula. Even more worrying than this commercialization of music is the fact that it’s been happening for a while. For the sake of space, let’s just jump right to the 60’s. Even with this focus, I’ll only brush the surface of musical cliché. The hard truth about music is that artists shamelessly copy other artists. There are two main ways they do this: either as a stylistic statement or as plagiarism. The former is relatively acceptable. This method includes the Beatles mimicking the Beach Boys’ description of girls from different regions in “Back in the USSR,” or Pitbull repeating a phrase verbatim from a Sugarhill Gang hit in “Hotel Room.” The other, uglier type is seen all over the place. The Sugarhill Gang get nailed again when their bass line from “Rapper’s Delight” is sampled over and over again throughout rap music. Surprisingly, Led Zeppelin was one of the worst plagiarizers in musical history, taking key elements from artists such as Willie Dixon and Jake Holmes. Even the iconic “Stairway to Heaven” intro is stolen from Spirit’s “Taurus.” Outright copying aside, there are several cliché trends in modern music that just “happen,” and are not taken from anywhere. For example, one of the most blasphemous characteristics of unoriginal songs is the use of the “four chords sequence.” Using the chord sequence “I V vi IV,” song after song has been written that sounds exactly like all the other songs. Songs as diverse as “Imagine” by John Lennon, “With or Without You” by U2, and “Take on Me” by Aha are just a few of the perpetrators of this unoriginal structure. Then there’s the infamous “verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus” layout to songs. Virtually every pop or rock song follows this pattern to some extent. In more modern music, false endings have become popular, where sound is cut for a few seconds and then brought back up to full intensity. Songwriters believe this gives their songs a dramatic feel, while in fact it just makes it sound like a dozen other songs. Other more minor offenses (bad pun intended) include the +1 key changes, which theoretically make the song more upbeat, and the ohso-irksome a cappella moments that supposedly show off the lead singer’s “sensitive tenor.” Cliché lyrics aren’t included here for the sake of space. Yet these, and many more, are almost comically overused characteristics of songs. Some bands have picked up on the above mentioned formula and created an entire sub-industry dedicated to the satire of cliché music. New Zealand comedy band Flight
of the Concords started the craze with their song “Issues (Think About It),” hyper-depicting a typical song about the injustice of the world. Then, Australian band Axis of Awesome weighed in with “How to Write a Love Song” (the title is selfexplanatory). Incidentally, Axis of Awesome also wrote a song called “4 Chords,” a medley of about 20 songs that all use that structure. Although these are humorous, they demonstrate just how formulaic much of modern music has become. The real question, in the end, is why? If cliché songs add nothing new to the music industry, why do we adore them so much? To answer this question, let’s take a tangent towards the scientific. The biological concept of a spandrel, borrowed from architecture, is a byproduct of the evolution of another characteristic. Birds, for example, originally evolved to have wings to keep warm, and flight was an unintended side effect. Psychologist Stephen Pinker argues that music is a spandrel of language, an evolutionary accident. He further states that music is “auditory cheesecake.” Humans didn’t evolve to like cheesecake, but they evolved to like the fats and sugars within cheesecake. We like fats and sugars because they are necessary for our survival. However, we have learned over time to “shortcut” our way into the pleasure areas of our brain (in this example, we make cheesecake). The same goes for music: it pleasurably stimulates different sectors of the brain, specifically language ability, the auditory cortex and motor control. So, although a few may claim that they like “original,” or even dissonant music, they do this in a slightly forced manner. And though we may not like the message, principles or musical sophistication behind cliché songs, we have become wired to like certain sounds. Although we may scorn it, something lights up in the brain when someone hears a sus4 chord resolved. The four chords sequence we so despise is permanently hammered into our psyche. Promoters of original music are subconscious hypocrites compared to Justin Bieber fans. What it all comes to is that all music is, to some extent, cliché. Even the most underground and dissonant of compositions has something in common, be it structure, timbre or lyrics, with the trending heartthrob’s new hit. Music is shamelessly plagiarized over and over, and those that don’t copy, use a corny success formula. But that shouldn’t make us like it any less. Source used in this article: “This Is Your Brain On Music,” by Daniel J Levitin, http://daniellevitin.com/publicpage/books/ this-is-your-brain-on-music/
the talon • 11
entertainment
10 Ways to Ruin your Commercial A guide to a cliché advertisement Rafael Rocha 10. Insert a song that doesn’t fit with your brand. Music is a must in almost all commercials, but if the choices by the directors do not match your product, then the ad won’t be very successful. For example, it wouldn’t make sense for Metallica to be playing in a Barbie advertisement.
5. Mention your brand’s name numerous times. Don’t bombord your audience with your brand’s name. One mention is enough to make sure that viewers are aware of the brand being marketed. If you get past that point though, viewers will, and I repeat, will notice. 4. Forget to mention your brand’s name. Not mentioning the brand is just as bizarre as screaming out your brand’s name or projecting it right in front of your audience’s face. It could be a fantastic commercial, but without the brand’s name, viewers can’t associate that commercial to your product.
9. Make it too long. Most commercials are usually anywhere from thirty seconds to a full minute to air on TV, but the catch is that they cannot seem as if they were longer than they should be. The advertisement has to present enough variety to keep its viewers watching; if it doesn’t, then that might just mean the viewer will switch channels until the commercial break is over. rolli
8. Make it too short. What’s worse than a commercial that seems extra long is having a commercial that feels oddly shortened. For all of the money that is invested into your production, you certainly do not want to forget concluding or perfecting your commercial just to stay within the set time frame.
3. Insert the annoying jingle. If you follow this “don’t,” you could get millions of hits on YouTube solely for your jingle, but will anyone actually take your commercial seriously? The annoying jingle usually overshadows the brand you are trying to sell. Does anyone remember what car company broadcasted the Poneis Malditos advertisement?
nsd.
com
r
800
7. Make it offensive. If you want to promote your brand successfully, then you probably should stay away from offending any group of people. It’s unethical, and what’s more, it could get your brand a bad rep in the market. 6. Have low production values. It’s always possible for a commercial with very low production value to succeed, but that’s often not the case for those who don’t want to spend a lot of money. Viewers will most likely notice the use of low-tech audio and visuals in a commercial.
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com
se.
on esp
2. Bring a host that has no acting skills. Bringing a famous person in can definitely be a plus for your commercial, as long as that person really knows how to act. This is surely not the case with many professional athletes, as players of all kinds of sports have clearly demonstrated to us that just because they have a lot of talent on the field, it doesn’t mean they’re effective off it. 1. Mention 1-800... Tacky late-night products use this method. The likelihood of your commercial succeeding will fall if it involves calling a phone number beginning with 1.800. Stay away from this evil four number combination, or your commercial might fail to receive any recognition and respect.
entertainment
Deck the Halls with X-Mas Clichés My complaints about the jolly time of year
Yana Ahlden
D
on’t get me wrong: I love Christmas. But it also has to be the holiday that bothers me the most. First of all, it’s the most stressful. The week before the big day I still don’t usually have presents for everyone. There’s all that obsessing over what to get people and whether or not to do Secret Santa (if you believe in Santa, that is). Second of all, I believe Christmas season should start in December, not November. The people that take down their Halloween decorations just to put up their Christmas decorations drive me crazy (yes, Shopping Morumbi, I’m talking about you). But most of all, what bothers me about Christmas are all the clichés, because there’s almost no way to make it through the holidays without referencing at least one. The thing is, all these clichés started out like sugar and spice and everything nice. Unfortunately, things have changed and little sayings have insinuated themselves into the language of the Christmas season, and now it’s impossible to get rid of them. For example, reminding children that “he’s keeping a list” seems redundant, because I’m pretty sure that any child who believed in Santa has not forgotten he’s coming to town and that he knows whether they’ve been naughty or nice. It’s just common sense. And even though we all know a Scrooge or a Grinch who steals Christmas away from us by souring the mood, I don’t think it’s going make them any happier if you call them anything remotely relating to an old English man or a monster with green fluff as fur. Speaking of Scrooge, give the ghosts a rest, too. No one from the past, present or future is going to visit us any time soon in form of a transparent depiction that can float. And if they do, I suggest you have yourself checked out by a shrink. I acknowledge the fact that Tiny Tim is adorable, but asking God to “bless us, every one” isn’t doing the little guy any good. Let the kid rest in peace. ‘Tis certainly the season for most things happy, gay, and jolly and people reciting “’Twas the night before Christmas,” but just because you’re ‘tis-ing and ‘twas-ing does not mean you’re even close to writing a poem like Reverend Mr. Moore did, which, by the way, was the poem called “A Visit from St.
Nicholas.” Besides, there is no possible way you can make any ‘tis-ing and ‘twas-ing smart or fresh (assuming that you’re not Shakespeare). Any reference to white stuff (instead of saying snow) or white Christmas (even though it’s pretty) reminds me of the fact that I will be spending my Christmas Eve swimming in my pool next to palm trees, and it will never really begin to look like Christmas. And no, Christmas did not come early, it’s never has, and never will. Ever. It’s always on the same day and it’s been on the calendar for years. Deal with it. Despite all of this, Christmas is my favorite time of the year, because I don’t have to worry about all the homework I haven’t done (that’s saved for after New Year’s Day) and I can finally make up for all the time I’ve spent working and at school, spending time with my family and teaching my little sister Christmas carols. I become a child again when the box of decorations comes out from hiding and every item I pull of the green and red container brings back memories of the perfect Christmas, which is actually many different ones. Setting up the tree, eating the turkey with trimmings and attempting to make gingerbread houses (even though the icblogspot.com ing usually melts here) are some of the memories I cherish the most. Ringing in the New Year and setting myself a new year’s resolution that I know I won’t keep are things I look forward to every year when Halloween rolls by. Yet all I want for Christmas is a cliché-free holiday season, one not infested with clichés as much as it is with calories, family time, and songs referring to St. Nick’s sleigh in some form or fashion. As a child, I embraced those clichés, especially the dancing snow man that sings of jingle bells (not “Jingle Bell Rock,” but “Jingle Bells”). Innocence is bliss, as is not knowing the symbol of grandma getting run over by a reindeer. Despite the fact that I hate clichés, I’ve used several of them. Have fun finding them. And just so you know, he’s checking his list twice, so you better watch out! Sources used in this article: news.nationalpost.com; weblogs. baltimoresun.com
the talon • 13
entertainment
Unhappily Ever After Negative effects of fairytales
Andrea Ferreira
C
lichés are everywhere in movies. Nine times out of ten, you already know how the story will end: the characters who at first hated each other will end up falling in love, or the hero somehow saves the world at the last second. Perhaps the biggest abuser of clichés in movies is our childhood favorite, a Disney fairytale. There is even a self-titled cliché, the “fairytale ending,” in which the story ends with all conflicts resolved and the princess getting to live “happily ever after” with her prince. Unfortunately, in the last decade, these beloved childhood classics have been subject to much scrutiny, largely for the “clichéd” values they instill on children from an early age. Skeptics argue that the idea of a “damsel in distress,” a character attribute found in the likes of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White, teach young girls dependency. Repeated over and over to a child, this idea can have devastating effects. According to researchers in the sociology department at Purdue University, messages like these can stop girls from entering certain careers or hobbies that are generally seen as unfeminine, such as some sports. Likewise, the idea of “Prince Charming” or “Knight in shining armor” is equally detrimental to young boys because it reinforzes that men must be strong and manly, heroic and on a mission to save the “princess” from danger. Going along with the idea of “damsel in distress,” equally harmful to young girls is the subtle messages found in story tales. Take in the case of Hansel and Gretel. Although Gretel is not a princess and doesn’t become one, it is Hansel that always conjures the plans that end up saving him and his sister. It’s Hansel’s idea to make the path from stones after the stepmother wants to lose them in the woods. Similarly, the second time their stepmother leads them into the woods, and when they encounter the witch’s house, it is Hansel who is taken captive, and Gretel is incapable of doing anything to save her brother. But readers shall not fret, because once again Hansel will somehow comes to the rescue. A study of 168 Brothers Grimm fairytales (written in the nineteenth century to teach the “proper” gender roles to young boys and girls, as well as set an example of good/ bad behavior) by Purdue researchers found that an overwhelming majority of these fairytales that had made it into the 1900s featured young, beautiful princesses as main characters. To children, this puts a significant emphasis on the importance of beauty and physical attractiveness. Another negative effect is the tendency of these stories to use looks to “label characters as good or bad.” The evidence is that in 17 percent of these
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stories evil and ugly went hand in hand. While beautiful people were rewarded, those deemed ugly were punished. In the same study, an average of fourteen references to beauty per fairytale were in the stories. The references between appearance in men and women were astoundingly comparable. For example, in “Sleeping Beauty” (Briar Rose), 114 out of 149 references to beauty are about women. Sociologists are linking this data to help explain why women tend to value appearance more than men. They are even seeing this as an indirect cause of cosmetic surgery. According to the researchers, the ideals learned through princess stories, where often girls gain riches and a happy life simply by being good looking, stick with young readers into adulthood. Is there hope? Researchers don’t disapprove of all fairytale movies, considering the modern versions possess fewer or are often free of harmful clichés. In fact, the Purdue sociologists approved of the modern-day fairytales, such as in Shrek, where the girl gets her happily-ever-after when changing from a princess to an ogre. While such points may be valid, researchers could be digging too deeply beneath the surface when they argue that the implications of fairytales on children are harmful. Most fairytales also contain a valuable message, a moral of the story, which undoubtedly sticks with viewers long after the end. Usually, this message or theme in movies weighs much more than their stereotypes. Though they are laden with clichés from the “once upon a time” beginning, to the “happily ever after” end, many Disney movies have proven timeless classics, and are still considered a childhood staple. Sources used in this article: purdue.edu; fanpop.com
blogspot.com
entertainment
Coldplay! It’s Been a While! A review of the band’s colorful new release which even features Rihanna Kevin Shimba Bengtsson
I
n short: a splendor. Sure to please the masses, it still has enough substance to please those pretentious enough to call themselves true music fans. From the gorgeous sonic swells of the opening track, “Mylo Xyloto” to the optimistic melancholy of “Us Against the World,” the energetic rush of “Hurts Like Heaven” to the pop hooks of “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall” and “Princess of China,” Coldplay’s new attempt in Mylo Xyloto has all its bases covered. An extremely varied, but magnificent album with few significant flaws provides for a fantastic audio experience. First, let’s retrogress. After the release of the both critically and commercially acclaimed Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, several ideas were thrown about by the band over what type of record the next one would be. Some members of the Grammy-winning band mentioned a more acoustic, stripped-down album while others slated a different approach, with Jonny Buckland, the guitarist, featuring more prominently. What subsequently emerged was neither of the two: the band decided on a concept album, telling a story of love, which would indeed contain acoustic-y songs and Jonny in the forefront, but these are only nuances in the scope of a grandiose work of art. At the beginning of this joyride is the title track, “Mylo Xyloto,” which reintroduces the band after three years since their last musical endeavor with a stunning Christmas-esque jingle, a 40-second prelude to what is the first proper song on the album, “Hurts Like Heaven.” Encapsulating the band at their very best, the song proves to be one of their magnum opuses. With Chris Martin, lead singer and songwriter, conveying powerful messages such as “Written up in marker on a factory sign: ‘I struggle with the feeling that my life isn’t mine,” coupled with soaring guitar lines that emphasize Jonny’s presence, this song is astonishing. Add that to Will Champion’s driving drum line and Guy Berryman’s steady, but effective, bass and you have one of the greatest tracks of 2011. “Hurts Like Heaven” epitomizes most of the album, for a great part of it is spent with vigorous and anthemic songs. “Charlie Brown” perfectly exemplifies this; opening with what appears to be children’s voices in the distance, a guitar riff is quick to join and the song subsequently “goes to town.” Nothing short of massive, its sonority rockets with the juxtaposition of quiet verses and loud, thundering riff-sections. Other points in the album find the band at their darkest, grittiest moments, as “Major Minus” is quick to prove. “I’ve got one eye on the
road and one on you” sings Martin’s distorted voice while the band plays the rockiest song in their repertoire. The energy through the song is analogous to that of “Don’t Let It Break Your Heart,” despite said song being quite the antithesis to “Major Minus.” A song with the cheesiest and, dare I say, most cliché, of titles, the music is quite the opposite. A wall of fast-paced conglomerated sound, reminiscent of shoegaze bands such as My Bloody Valentine, is what accompanies the admittedly horrific title, debasing the cliché of “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Conversely, this album presents songs set in a much more fragile zone, bereft of the grandiosity found in the aforementioned songs. The first of these is “Us Against the World” which, after a short but gorgeous duet of church organ and a reverberated guitar, brings us to Chris Martin alone with an acoustic guitar backing him up. Despite being an extremely sad, emotionally-drenching ballad, providing such lyricism as “The tightrope that I’m walking just sways and ties / The devil as he’s talking with those angels eyes,” Martin still manages to bring optimism into the mix, singing recurrently “Through chaos as it swirls / It’s us against the world.” This leaves us with the poppiest moments on the album: “Paradise,” “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall” and “Princess of China.” As the former two are singles, chances are you have heard them on the radio and thus need no explanation other than that they do not compare to the magnitude of the other songs on the album. In fact, as much as they seem to have inspired in many a great affinity for the tracks, they do nothing to make the album better and, if anything, only hinder it. Their egregious lyrics and uninspired melodies do nothing when compared to the other tunes. The latter, however, is interesting in that it features Rihanna forming a duet with Chris Martin on lead vocals. An odd pop song due to its lack of a proper chorus and its sample of Sigur Rós’ “Takk…” it manages to make Rihanna’s distinct vocal style fit on a Coldplay song. After the album culminates with “Up With the Birds,” an initially slow and mellow piece which soon grows to an uplifting one, there is a definite air of finality, like the end of a story. As a band trying to revitalize the “album format,” which is slowly perishing with the upsurge of downloading single songs through mediums such as iTunes, this was intentional, so as to create a single body of work. It ends a concept album masterfully and is the final brush stroke on a canvas of much vigor, sure to be admired by many. A 9 out of 10.
the talon • 15
entertainment
Overheard at Graded The absurd things we hear are everything but clichés... Isabella Zevallos
I
When asking someone to stop:
n a conversation in the hall before Flex:
“I have two words for you: pa—ra.”
Person 1: “No I don’t have to go, I’m
I have one word for you: not.
“M.”
Person 2: “No, it’s A–L.” Person 1: “Yeah, M comes after L.”
“I thought Chapel was a country.”
Person 2: (singing) “L, M, N, O...oh yeah.”
But it is—it is right between Lithuania, Lat-
Everyone needs a little refresher some-
via, and PACA.
times. Talking about butts: In Chemistry class:
“It’s not big, it’s bouncy”
Student 1: “So, you all know what a dozen
Thanks. Now I can appreciate butts in a dif-
is, right?”
ferent way.
Student 2: “Yeah, eleven.” “It was psychological—it was cancer.”
Yep, and whenever we say “half a dozen,”
Sure it was. Same thing with breaking your
we mean 5.5…
foot—all that swelling and those images on the x-ray are all in your head.
In Chemistry class: A girl singing a little song.
An Asian talking about tanning:
“Seduce and reproduce! Seduce and reproduce!” That song is already seducing me.
123rf.com
“I get orange because yellow and red make orange.”
Those third grade art classes in mixing colors come in handy! One senior girl to another in the library: “Do you know you can bite your finger off as easily as you can
A group of friends talking after school:
a bite a carrot off?”
“Are you like this in PGC?”
I seriously don’t know what it is that you’ve been trying to do
“No, there are people that are dumber than me.”
at home, but biting off fingers is not a hobby that immedi-
PGC truly is a family full of love and compassion…
ately comes to my mind… “Showering with your eyes closed raises your IQ.” In Geometry:
“Dude, I get enough soap in my eyes when I shower with my
“I’m not a bad person, I just have bad intentions.”
eyes open.”
Hmm, interesting distinction.
Maybe this person is in need of showering with his eyes closed.
“Bromance is the purest form of love.”
“I am going to throw you off a river.”
Of course. There is even a new Disney movie coming out about
Sorry to break it to you, but falling “off” a river doesn’t seem
it: The Bromancers—a ticket to happily ever after.
all that threatening.
When talking about a person changing, the speaker turns
“I realize I have a cactus in my bathroom. I don’t touch it, I
around in a circle:
don’t play with it.”
“He did a total 390.”
Man, your bathroom is a dangerous place. But lucky you—you
I can tell that geometry isn’t your forte.
are sensible enough not to touch or play with the safety hazards that surround you.
16 • the talon
entertainment Person 1: “It didn’t survive in my locker.”
In Biology:
Person 2: “What? The bird?”
“What does it mean when a guy kisses you on the forehead?”
Person 1: “No, the banana.”
“He has bad aim.”
Needless to say, I am going to avoid that locker at all costs.
Of course—guys are always wanting to make out with every
Next thing you know, there might be a live carnivorous plant
girl they see, right?
inside it... “I got such a bad grade.” In a conversation with Mr. Bair:
“A 90 isn’t a fail.”
“Yes, I go to the bathroom and I sniff deodorant.”
“I wouldn’t be complaining if I had a 90—I’m not Asian any-
I can see that the free StuCo deodorant is being much appre-
more.”
ciated by the student body...
I am seriously starting to think that Asians are the ones who create their own stereotypes...
After being taught how to say “make me a sandwich” in sign language:
Talking about inserting a USB:
“Yay. Now if I meet a blind person, I can ask him to make me
“You put it in the wrong hole.”
a sandwich.”
“But which of the three is it?”
Glad to see that you can properly appreciate that valuable
TWSS.
life skill... NOTE: Overheard something funny? Send it: talon@graded.br.
Monthly Update What goes up, must come down. Adam Hunt Fertig
Wacky Week is a smashing success, crowned by Mr. Stephenson’s verification that he is indeed a “Macho Man.”
Hacking group Anonymous did not shut down Facebook, and it turns out they never intended to anyway.
The US Congress rules that the tomato sauce in school lunch school pizza counts as a vegetable.
the talon • 17
entertainment
senior
trip!
Overheard at Graded It must be all that salt water....
Isabella Zevallos
I
’m not intoxicated with salt water, look: cos2x + sin2x = 1.”
We have discovered a new type of intoxicated (with salt water, of course): the smart intoxicated.
Person 1: “Clear the bed;she needs to sleep.” Person 2: “Guys, you don’t understand. I can’t sleep when I’m intoxicated with salt water!” (five minutes later, Person 2 is asleep) Yeah, you really can’t sleep in that state, can you?
Person 1: “It’s time to go to sleep.” Person 2: “Wait, what are you doing? Why are you picking me up?” (two seconds later) “Woo! I am flying!”
After paying the cleaning lady: Cleaning lady: “Isso é pouco pro que eu vou fazer aqui.” Not sure how much they paid her, but I’m pretty sure she has a point. Cleaning up after teenagers...
Leaving the room: Cleaning lady: “Me dá a chave por favor.” Person 1: “Ainda tem gente no quarto.” Cleaning lady: “Me dá a chave.” Person 1: “Mas tem gente no quarto.” Cleaning lady: (angry) “Me dá a chave!” Working at a pousada full of teenagers for four days sure makes cleaning ladies feisty.
And this is why you are in urgent need of sleep.
“He has a penis too. I forget it sometimes.” I can see that you think very highly of him.
To a girl: “You have to wear the pants in the relationship...And the shirt...and the shoes.” And the socks...and the glasses...and the winter jacket...and the gloves...and the hat...and the—well, I think you get the point.
Person 1: “What is henna?” Person 2: “That thing on your chest.” Person 1: “This? This is a spider.” A spider?! You may not know what henna is, but just thank the lord that it is henna and not a real tattoo...
Ex-boyfriend walks by and pinches ex-girlfriend’s waist and grins. Ex-girlfriend: “Did you see that?” Best friend: “Yeah, dude, it’s like he’s marking his territory. Next thing you know, he’s going to pee on you.” I am now seriously wondering which other ex-boyfriends led you to come to such a conclusion. Andrea Estrada
18 • the talon
entertainment
Goodbye to the Bros The end of Entourage Kyle Bissel
I
t may be a little overdue, but I think it’s important for me and all other fans to give a formal farewell to HBO’s hit show Entourage. The show ran for 8 seasons with an overall sum of 96 episodes, was nominated for 24 Emmys and 14 Golden Globe awards, and has become a dominant force in Hollywood pop culture—quite a successful run by any measure. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the show, it is loosely based on Hollywood actor Mark Wahlberg’s rise to fame. In the show, Vincent Chase (loosely portraying Wahlberg) has hit the big time in the film industry and has brought along his close friends Turtle (real name Sal), E (short for Eric), and Johnny Drama (Vince’s older brother) all the way to L.A. The show basically follows the numerous ups and downs of Chase and his entourage. When the final episode aired, I felt a slight despair. This was a show that I had followed religiously and now it was gone. Now all I have is re-runs and the hope that the producers keep their promise and make a movie. From what we’ve heard from sources, it seems that writer Doug Ellin wants to write it, and producer Mark Wahlberg wants to produce it. That’s all we have, so for now, I will give my opinion on the series closer. Unfortunately, if you are not a fan of Entourage this may not mean anything to you. (Spoiler alert!) The Vince Situation: Although I was happy to see that Vince had finally met someone stable and was getting married, I found it quite ridiculous that they sped up his relationship from a first date to marriage in less than two days. This seemed like a slightly sloppy ending although I guess it put me at ease. The E and Sloan Situation: For most of the series, E and Sloan have been battling it out in a love-hate relationship that lasted for so long that anyone who watches TV could guess that they would end up together. We may not get a full-on relationship but we are relieved to see that this aspect of the show can finally be put to rest. The Ari Situation: This was a highlight in the last episode. He has reconciled with his wife after months of fighting
about him taking work over his family, and then the credits roll…and then in one final clip: it’s Ari and his wife living the good life, when he receives a phone cal and it’s the owner of Warner Brothers who wants to give him his job. I really hope there’s a movie coming out so I can see that the stressed out, overly-aggressive, and politically incorrect Ari that we all know and love is not gone after all. The Turtle Situation: I found his situation surprising in that nothing really happens to him. His Season 7 girlfriend Alex doesn’t come back to him, and he doesn’t have a real job (although he has his millions from Avion). Overall though, this sort of makes sense. Turtle finds himself in the exact same situation he was in the series pilot, bumming around (except now with money). The Drama Situation: This was what assured me that the spirit of the overall show was still there. Drama, who has antennamag.com never been a character of romance ends up the same as before except with a soon-to-be hit show. Turtle comments on how the goodbye at the airport was really emotional and Johnny retorts “Yeah, let’s go to Europe so I can find something to [profanity that cannot be exposed in The Talon].” At least we know that Johnny hasn’t changed a bit…maybe they can make a spinoff with his character and Ari. Overall, I felt the show took few chances this season and played only its strengths. I would have liked to see Ari get a little more rowdy and perhaps have tested the waters instead of just settling for Dana for a week. I was hoping for Ari to become more of an aggressive player than a moping ex-husband. All in all though, I can’t complain too much. Speaking of clichés, the theme of this month’s Talon, did anyone who saw the finale notice the flying into the sunlight cliché? I felt it worked overall as this show is about male friendship and that sort of ending is a very cowboy/macho ending. So it is with pain that I must say farewell to what I consider the template of what male camaraderie means. Or as Barney Stinson would say, Broship.
the talon • 19
entertainment
Trivialities Fact: at least half of the readers of The Talon turn to this page first Julia Wu
Y • •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
• • •
ou can’t hum while squeezing your nose shut.
•
Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you. The uncontrollable laughter when a person is tickled is actually the brain’s response to panic: when a person is tickled, the brain interprets the sensation as produced by spiders or crawling creatures on your skin. The stars and colors one sees when rubbing the eyes are called phosphenes. Yawning is contagious. A Rubik’s cube has 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 possible configurations. When you put a seashell next to your ear, it’s actually the sound of your blood surging in your veins, not the ocean. Breathing the air in Mumbai, India for a single day is equivalent to smoking two and a half packs of cigarettes. India has more honor roll students than the total number of students in America. If you talk and walk with someone at the same time, eventually you will synchronize your steps with each other. Seven seconds after the sixth minute of five o’ clock on August 9, 2010 was 05:06:07 08/09/10. Every year, approximately 1,600 people are bitten by other humans in New York City. The enemies in the game Angry Birds were inspired by the swine flu. In Thailand, cops have to wear pink Hello Kitty armbands as a punishment for misbehavior. Men have nipples because, as an embryo, everyone is female until the Y chromosome kicks in. A blue whale’s heart is the size of a Volkswagen Beetle. If you take your age and multiply it by 7 and then by 1443, the product repeats the digits of your age 3 times. Shakespeare was the first to use insults about people’s mothers. Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling admitted that Dumbledore is gay—he was in love with a wizard named Grindelwald whom he later defeated in a duel. A queen bee uses her stinger only to sting another queen bee. Einstein’s final words died with him, since the nurse at his bedside didn’t speak German. Farmville players outnumber real farmers in the US by a ratio of 60 to 1.
•
20 • the talon
• •
•
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Over 2500 left-handed people a year are killed from using equipment made for right-handed people. In 1937, in Detroit, a baby fell from the fourth floor of a building, on a street sweeper who was passing below. One year later, exactly the same thing happened—a different baby, fourth floor of another building, same man. Taurine, an ingredient in Red Bull, originally came from ox bile. All the matter that makes up the human race can fit into a sugar cube, but that sugar cube would weigh five billion tons. In a statue of a person on a horse, if the horse has both front legs in the air, that person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died from battle wounds; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. The creators of Adidas and Puma were brothers and Nazis. If you put two straws in your mouth, one inside a drink and one outside, you won’t be able to drink from either straw. Swearing when you’re hurt helps reduce pain. Thomas Crapper popularized the toilet with his company in the 80s. The Pokémon Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan are based on Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan. The inventor of the television, Philo Farnsworth, had blueprints for the TV when he was fourteen. When turned sideways, the map of the Americas resembles the shape of a duck. If you press the “!” on the heading at the Yahoo! Homepage, girls will sing “Yahoooooooooooo!” All lakes in the state of Ohio were man-made. 80% of women wash their hands after leaving the restroom, while that percentage is 55% for men. In 1936, the New York Times stated that “A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth’s atmosphere.” Napoleon was terrified of cats. The first words spoken by Thomas Edison over the phonograph were “Mary had a little lamb.” Beethoven was deaf when he composed the “Ninth Symphony.” Halle Berry’s stunt double in the movie Catwoman is a man.
Sources used in this article: www.omg-facts.com; www.funfunnyfacts.com
features
The Loving Hate!
A list of exceptionally ordinary clichés Yasmin Della Nina “In the dog house.” — Thomas Stephenson. “Querer é poder, e poder é conseguir.” — Maggie Moraes. “Two peas in a pod.” — Amy Hunt. “Happily ever after.” — Paty Kim. “Books are like portals to different universes.” — Mari Bender. “Chip off the old block.” — Matt Stevens. “It’s more easily said than done.” — several people.
whatdoidowhen.im
mycountrycottage.net
W
hat are people’s most adored or despised clichés? Are there such things as good clichés? Are they all bad? I personally like some of them, even if they’re overused, but is it just me? Here’s what I heard as I asked the opinions of a few of the nice people that make up our community: Favorite Clichés: “And all that jazz.” — Yasmin B. Della Nina. “The eye is a window to the soul.” — John Kim. “Close, but no cigar.” — Kevin Bengsston. “A picture is worth a thousand words.” — Mari Bender. “You’ve got to live life to the fullest.” — several people. “Keep calm, and ginger on.” — Harry Potter fans.
Least Favorites: “Once upon a time…” — Kevin Bengsston. “And everything was just a dream…” — Carol Daffara. “And in the end, he/she broke my heart.” — Mari Bender. “You bit off more than you could chew.” — Yasmin B. Dell Nina “The end.” — several people. “Two words: ‘Disney Movies.’” — Mari Bender. “Two heads think better than one.” — those who hate working in groups. “It was a hum dinner.” — Matt Stevens. “I hate all of the other ones.” — Amy Hunt. “Quando um não quer, dois não brigam.” — Maggie Moraes. “That’s the ticket!” — Thomas Stephenson. “Only time will tell.” — Paty Kim. “All evil was vanquished, and all good prospered.” — Disney movies.
the talon • 21
features
Hey, Beautiful... The story behind pick-up lines Kevin Wolfson
T
here is abundant evidence that pick-up lines have been used throughout history as means of seducing a possible mate. Poetry, romance novels, music…it all comes down to flirting. Pick-up lines are a tool humans use to flirt and tend to range from humorous to outright dirty little phrases. It is debatable whether pick-up lines are effective or not. In popular culture today, television makes it seem like there is no “in between” with pickup lines: either they work perfectly or they earn a nice slap on the face. Here are some examples of both of these outcomes. Joey Tribbiani, one of the famous characters from the TV show Friends, picks up almost all of his women with his classic line. As many of you know, Joey’s promiscuous attitude has worked very well for him: the phrase “how you doin’?” has gotten him dates with numerous women, including the beautiful Jennifer Aniston. Yet, has this one technique been the sole factor that has gotten him all these dates? Turned down various times by Monica and Phoebe, it seems like Joey’s seduction methods only work on a few ladies. Now take a look at Chandler Bing. Chandler has been with less than half a dozen women in the ten-year span of the show. If it were up to Chandler, that’s not what the story would say. Consistently having trouble with his love life, pick-up lines definitely do not work for him. Is he saying them incorrectly? Was he saying the wrong ones at the wrong time? What is the secret to Joey’s great success and Chandler’s grand failure with women? I interviewed four Graded community members: two high school girls, a male student, and a male teacher. I asked them one simple question: do pick-up lines work? The answers were pretty interesting. Both female girls immediately said they don’t. They went on to tell me how a boy has to show real interest in the girl to capture her attention, and how he has to authentically try to seduce her. But then one of them told me, “Well, if a perfect guy says a perfect pick-up line at the perfect moment, I’m in.” For those who just had an epiphany, I understand, I felt the same. The male interviewees seemed to already have knowledge about this. The student answered, “pick-up lines are a hit-or-miss situation for me: I only use them when I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.” Even more shocking, the male teacher said, “Pick-up lines? That’s the only way I found girls in college.” So guys say they work on occasions; girls say they work at only the perfect moments. This is a simple math equation, ladies and gentlemen: perfect + occasion = SUCCESS! When you
22 • the talon
have the chance and the moment feels right, go for it, dudes! As you saw with Joey, a woman could be conquered with just a funny punch line. For those who don’t know what pick-up lines to start with, let us explore the past of some of history’s most eminent men and their methods for seducing the ladies. Adam, the first man on Earth and the founder of the pick-up line tradition, is said to have gone up to Eve and told her this, “Hi. I’m the only man on earth.” Great success for the great-grandfather of womanizing. Another example of alluring the ladies comes from Leonardo Da Vinci. Rumors have it that Da Vinci frequently used this card hidden up his sleeve: “What’s Mona Lisa smiling about? Well, let’s just say that I asked her to stop smiling that way before her husband came home.” As you can see, the biggest players in history had interesting pick-up lines. If you still have no idea where to begin, or don’t really want to try the Mona Lisa one on that hottie that you’ve been checking out for a while now, here are some other options. For • • • • For • • • •
the nerds: What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1. You have nicer legs than an Isosceles right triangle. Baby, every time I see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up. I think my heart just lagged. the clichéd gentlemen: Where have you been all my life? What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? Do you come here often? Do you have a map? Because I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
For the shameless drunks: • Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. • Excuse me, but I’m new in town; can I have directions to your place? • I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking you out. • If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? Sources used in this article: www.puatraining.com; bloggasm. com
features
The Moodie Foodie
Really?! Yummy?!—the inevitability of food clichés Carolina di Roberto
O
ver the past few years food critics and bloggers have become immensely popular. Any food tourist expects these critics to know more about food than anybody elseand some even believe these writers are more credible than the chefs. One of the most popular group of food columns and critics is found in the New York Times. Read by thousands of people weekly, this section is one of the most awaited by its audience. Though it usually focuses on New York City dining, it also branches out into different parts of the country, as well as other continents. Often, the writers of the Dining and Wine section of the New York Times write of places on Long Island or in Westchester, so that they not only get a taste of the city, but also of their “hometowns.” As for European restaurants, as well as other restaurants around the globe, they are generally mentioned when its own chefs open in other locations. Being globally and nationally well known, the writers of the Dining and Wine section of the paper may are meticulous about which restaurants they critique. Only the newest or best restaurants of the city are visited by the best writers. The restaurants, patisseries, or cafés that are written about are studied for weeks and weeks so that those that follow the New York Times are sure of its quality. Whenever a restaurant is new, these writers usually check them out prior to opening, so that they are precise when scoring service and offerings. Unfortunately, not all food critics are as professional or literate. Even in these columns. Food blogs are replete with clichés. For example, the word “yummy” is a cliché. It is understandable, and pretty much a given, that these restaurants, patisseries, cafés, or wine shops provide the best quality food—meaning that they have to be yummy. Even with the reproductions of the word, such as “yummo” or “yumazing,” the original word is still incredibly overused. If any reader, on any day, read a selection of food blogs, they would most probably find a dozen uses of the word. Whether the author decided to write that the “des-
sert was yummy,” the “soy sauce was the epitome of the word yummo,” or the “restaurant itself was just yumazing,” it would produce the same effect. A particularly annoyed blogger poses the question: “But what does ‘yummy’ say? Delicious in a cute way?” Cu(r)ry, the frustrated blogger, even suggested avoiding the use of this word “at all costs … specially when paired with fries.” Other than the over-used word “yummy,” a phrase found in almost every single positive restaurant critique is, “Save room for…” The blogger Cur(r)y also had something to say about this: “Imagine a grandma wagging her finger at you: ‘Save room for dessert! Don’t fill the belly! I can’t believe you ate the whole thing.’ Ack! It’s like a cuteness monster. Get it away from me!” Truthfully, critics know that it is almost impossible to “save room for…” if the customer wants to appreciate the decadence (another food cliché, and horribly over-used adjective) of the main course. Some critics even contradict themselves by bringing out the ever-sofamous redundancy: “happily satisfied”—a euphemism for being outrageously stuffed. Lastly the worst expression is: “Wash it down with…” Once again, Cur(r)y argues against explosm.net the use of this cliché, not only because of his deep annoyance over it, but also because of its redundancy: “Technically, we do wash our food with drinks. But the phrase is overused and evokes plumbing more than good eating. When you read these words, you are witnessing a clunky segue from food description to beverages. It’s typically a last sentence in a short review and often just a reiteration of what’s on the cocktail or wine list.” This phrase can be found in the unreasonably short reviews in newspapers. Ironically, though it usually used to present the delectable wine selection of the restaurant, it only makes the restaurant sound cheap and disgusting. Sadly, clichés are inevitable. Lazy writers all around the world will keep using them, while many readers, such as Cur(r)y, will keep sucking in their breaths and furiously opposing them.
the talon • 23
features
Know What You’re Saying The history of overused sayings
Julia Abreu
W
hat could be more clichéd than using a famous proverb to improve your argument? The crazy part is that there are so many different hackneyed sayings and yet a few of them can’t seem to be eliminated from people’s speeches. Some people may not know them, and others may casually use them without any real thought about their meaning. Ever wonder who (not including your great-grandmother) came up with these popular proverbs? Surprisingly, many of them date back to the ancient times, when the world depended on verbal communication
factfixx.com
How many times have you heard your parents or friends say, “Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?” People tend to say that whenever someone is in a terrible mood or just having a bad day. When you stop to think about this phrase, it seems there are no connections between the “wrong side of the bed” and being in a bad mood because there isn’t a “right side” of the bed to wake up on. This proverb originated from an ancient Roman superstition that getting out of bed with the left leg brought bad luck and poor disposition. Thus, the original phrase should have been, “get out of bed with the left leg first,” which would correctly express the ancient superstition. The English translation was slightly modified but it largely represents the myth that one should always wake up on their right side with their right foot, or else they will have a bad day. After learning of this superstition, you might find yourself checking to see which foot you step out of bed with. Have you ever told someone to “break a leg” before a theatrical performance, just out of custom? It seems strange that breaking a leg could come to mean “good luck,” but there is more than one theory to explain the origin of this phrase.
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The superstitious aspect is that wishing an actor “good luck” actually brings the opposite, so wishing for one to “break a leg” can actually bring the actor the best of luck. However, this theory does not have a credible source to support its origin. It is widely claimed that it originated in the Elizabethan era, for after every performance the audience would tip the good while throw food at the bad ones. If the feedback was positive, the actor would bow and bend one leg, making their leg seem broken, giving us the sense that breaking a leg is another way of wishing the actor good luck. When haven’t you crossed your fingers when you really wanted something to come true or not come true? The act of “crossing your fingers” is not logically helpful if you think about it, but its meaning can be justified through superstitious origins. It began in the sixteenth century, when witches and demons were thought to be the cause of illnesses and misfortunes. In order to protect themselves from these witches, people created a faster way to do the sign of the cross, by crossing their second finger over their index finger. This, they believed, protected them from evil. For that reason, we cross our fingers whenever we wish for good fortune. After learning its history, crossing your fingers suddenly becomes much more like a protective gesture than a wish for good fortune. Finally, has anyone you know ever been so fascinated with a secret that you couldn’t help but tell him or her that “curiosity killed the cat?” The phrase may seem odd, but it originated in an even stranger manner. In the late 1500s, playwright Ben Johnson said “care killed the cat,” where the word “care” meant “sorrow.” However, over the years, the phrase was changed, because cats are considered inquisitive, and curiosity was associated with something bad, such as sorrow. This phrase nowadays is a way of politely advising someone to mind his or her own business. There are so many clichés phrases in use, and most of them are easy to derive a meaning from; but there are still axioms with mysterious origins. Many change over time; many continue to be used as if they were just created; and many have grown old along with our grandparents. They may be from different epochs and places, but they are all equal in the fact that they were born through the influence of superstitions. Whether we believe in them or not, superstitions have become the basis for everyday life, hence so many clichéd sayings have taken over our communication and continue to be passed on through generations. Source used in this article: www.knowyourphrase.com
sports
Chess Boxing
Not as different as it seems Daniel Almeida
I
t is Friday night, and doubtless there are better things to do than to pack into a refurbished theater of blue movies and focus the eyes on a couple of anonymous Europeans crouching over a chessboard. They marshal tiny pieces against one another in a battle of quiet strategy. Sound and movement are of the faintest quality. It is as though you have barged into a stranger’s parlor. There may yet be time to sneak away. But then a bell rings and the hall fills with loud music. There are hoots and yells from the darkened sections of seats, along with other signals of unshackled enthusiasm. When the bell rings once more and the eyes refocus, you notice the chess players have begun to punch each other in the nose and in the ribs. There is blood. This is a fight, and it’s not bad at that, the theater having transformed into an arena of genuine athletic pursuit. This is no parlor game after all. It is chess and it is boxing; it may be strange, but it is strangely worth a look. Chess Boxing is a hybrid sport that combines, as the name suggests, chess and boxing. It may be hard to comprehend how chess and boxing fit together but apparently they do, quite well in fact. Two competitors face each other in 11 alternating rounds, six of chess, five of boxing. The bout begins with chess, which is played on a board placed directly in the middle of the ring. Each round of chess lasts four minutes. After each chess round, the bell sounds, and workmen remove the chessboard for a two-minute round of boxing, the gloves go back on, the punching recommences. Participants win by way of knockout, checkmate, referee’s decision, or if one exceeds the allotted
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total of 12 minutes for an entire match on the chessboard. If one were to enter a Cologne boxing gym, he might find himself facing a rather unlikely figure, a Dutch artist who often goes by the name of the Joker. This man, named Lepe Rubingh, brought the concept to life, founding Chess Boxing as a recognized world sport. Now, as strange as this sport may seem, Chess Boxing is not fundamentally different from other typical sports such as soccer or football. Even though I’ve never seen the spectacle live, after watching a few extremely entertaining YouTube videos, I can definitely state that unaware spectators could easily find themselves confusing chess boxing with a typical boxing match. The fast-paced sport features the standard screaming fans, by the thousand, rooting for their favorite players. Much like tennis, the international competitions end up being decided between the elite players, Rubingh being among them. Chess boxing clubs are sprouting throughout Germany, Russia, England, Bulgaria and the US, carrying the proud slogan “Fighting is done in the rings and wars are waged on the board,” wherever they go. Like many other sports, chess boxing requires a certain degree of skill; it’s not everyone who can join in and call himself or herself a chess boxer. World-class chess boxers must not only be experienced boxers, but must also be at least Class A chess players (one class below Expert), as defined by the United States Chess Federation (USCF). However, the sport also tests the old cliché of boxers and chess; when you think of chess players, you probably think of tangle-haired geniuses, reclusive Russians, and the boys at school who were too delicate to play on the field. You probably don’t think of bulging biceps, iron jaws and sweat flying. That’s why the mere mention of chess boxing causes so many raised eyebrows. Tactical thinking and lightning-fast responses are the key for both sports and go together like rice and beans. Boxer Vitali Klitschko has been quoted saying: “Chess is similar to boxing. You need to develop a strategy, and you need to think two or three steps ahead about what your opponent is doing. You have to be smart”. So why not combine both? Weird it certainly is, but it sure is entertaining. Sources used in this article: www.chessbase.com; sports.espn. go.com
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sports
Top 15 Soccer Commentator Cliché Phrases Remember this article when you watch your next match
Mendel Schwarz
W
ho has never been annoyed by the vague statements soccer commentators make every match of every season? We all have at least once, right? Following are some of the most annoying of these commentaries. You’ll probably recognize many of them as you go down the list. 15.
“There are no easy games at international level.” Of course not ,sir. Germany’s 11x0 over San Marino in the qualifying stages for 2010 World Cup is undeniably a very close match. Commentators usually slip in the cliché phrase above in commercials to get people to watch games that certainly are going to be rather one-sided and offer no real excitement to the spectator. Unfortunately, players have also adopted the untruthful statement as their own, so if you are lucky enough not to hear a pundit uttering these words, you will, for sure, hear the players at some point say them. 14. “It’s been a game of two halves.” Yes, I guarantee you it has. In fact, all soccer matches have. No one likes to hear the obvious, especially when it is tossed in your face repeatedly over the season. Everyone knows that a soccer match has two halves, Mr. Commentator. 13. International football stereotypes These are definitely among the most annoying cliché commentaries. England has gained international fame for being a squad which commits many fouls, and commentators around the world never seem to forget this. In fact, they feel the need to remind us of the unjust stereotype every time England makes a foul. Another example is the “samba football” that is always associated with Brazil after making one or more stylish passes. 12. “Your Rooneys and your Gerrards.” Equating players with other players is, once again, unreasonable. No one has told me of the existence of more then one Rooney or more than one Gerrard. Every soccer player has very unique skills and ways of playing the game and placing all of them under the same category is simply dim-witted. 11. “The rules are very clear.” Yes, they are, Mr. Arnaldo Cezar Coelho. Any soccer fan will hear this quote every time a referee makes a controversial although correct decision during a match. Arnaldo, all we want is the replay, okay? No need for your commentaries. 10. “For a big lad, he is good with his feet.” The phrase has been heard over and over again when tall, unknown players starting their careers touch the ball. Just because they are taller and stronger than other players doesn’t mean their only function during the game is to head the ball. This is another untruthful stereotype. An example could be our very own Adriano.
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9.
“I think that was an offside.” No, sir, you are sure that was an offside because of the hundreds of high definition cameras that are available to you to make this decision. We, spectators, have also already seen what the right call should be and don’t need you to pester us by stating the obvious once again. 8. “A clever booking.” If you are a soccer video game fan you will recognize this from the Fifa series. This usually refers to a “clever” foul made by a player in order to stop a counter attack, for example. It is also many times referred to as ‘taking one for the team.” 7. “That was a great cross but no one was there.” I always thought that the crosser’s job was to actually find an attacker in the area to score the goal, right? Yes. So, my dear commentator, explain to me how can this cross be ‘good’ and yet ‘find no one there’? It was actually a repulsive cross reported by a horrible narrator. 6. “Literally…” Dear soccer pundits, please find the word “literally” in the dictionary before using it in every soccer match, for many of you seem to have found a different meaning in the word than it has in normal English usage. “Rooney literally murdered the opponents defense.” Okay, so what is he doing on the soccer pitch when he should be in jail? 5. “This goal may have changed the match.” It has. Look at the scoreboard. 4. “This game is a six pointer…” This quote is very commonly used when two teams that are fighting for the same position face each other. Of course it is extremely annoying because every game, as far as I know, is worth only three points maximum. 3. “On paper…” This makes reference to a team’s superior technical and tactical qualities over their adversaries. And as we all know, soccer can’t be won by simply analyzing the players that are about to walk into the field. 2. “In a tournament like this, every game is a final.” This is usually said in league games in which there are no finals. Annoying metaphors… again, Cléber Machado. 1. “Soccer is box filled with surprises.” It is not a box! At least I don’t see one when I go to the stadium! Why can’t people say things literally (“literally” being the real meaning of the word, not what the commentators think it means)? Why do they have to implement these senseless metaphors? Why, Galvão, why? Source used in this article: harlowharrier.co.uk
sports
Close, But No Cigar Silver medals for Graded Varsity Basketball in the SPHSL Courtney Villeneuve
T
here are two sports teams at Graded who really hate the Arts Center. No, it’s not because they are the cliché “dumb jocks” of the high school who can’t appreciate talent off the court. It’s because of the staircases. The boys and girls basketball teams have spent many a practice running or jumping up and down the stairs of the Art Center, enduring sore muscles and shortness of breath. This isn’t all they face, however. Endless sprints, dozens of dribbling drills, and what seems like infinite shouts of “one more time” fill their practices in the often stuffy gym. All of this came to a close on November 10 and 11, as both teams advanced to the SPHSL (sport) finals and eventually brought home silver. First up was the boys’ team, playing against St. Paul’s School on their home court. Only a few days before, the Graded varsity team had played against PACA in a semifinal match at home. The game was back and forth, with both teams fighting valiantly for the chance to advance to the finals. When the final buzzer went off, the score was tied. Tension filled the gym as overtime started. In an incredible finish, Graded made a crazy three-point shot take lead by one point in what seemed to be the last second. Right after, PACA responded with a basket of their own as overtime ended. Confusion began as the score was debated, and eventually Graded was announced the victor. Of course, their battles were far from over. St. Paul’s was likewise looking for the first place trophy, and the fight was intense until the last second. With only three minutes left in the final quarter, Graded was behind with the score at 34-31. The tension in the gym was extreme as our boys hit the court for one final battle. In the end, Graded walked away with the silver medals after slipping behind, with the final score at 43-34. Like always, the boys fought hard and put their hearts into the game. Aiming to avoid a repeat of the game the night before, the girls’ team was ready to play hard against their opponents from PACA. However, PACA would not let the game go without a fight. Looking to avenge the loss the boys’ team suffered
in the semifinals and bring home their own gold medals, PACA provided a real challenge for the Graded girls. Both teams played very aggressively and committed many fouls. The matchup was even, with the lead switching between the opponents numerous times. Half of the stands were filled with green-andwhite fans and the other with red-and white supporters, and every time a basket was made, half of the gym would erupt with cheering and screaming. In the last seconds, the game was tied. A PACA player made a basket, and then was fouled. With the extra shot, her team went three points up. Graded attempted a comeback as a basket was sunk at the last second, but the game ended with PACA winning by a final score of 29-28. As a first-time athlete and a senior, I enjoyed the experience of not only learning how to shoot and dribble but how to work as a team and trust any teammates. I only got the chance to play in two of our games this season (let’s just say I am not the Miranda Salazar most athletic person) but my heart was on the court every second because I love my team as my second family. Of course, I wanted to win, but in the end it was just as our coach told us after the game: “It’s basketball. This happens.” I am so proud of my teammates and my friends on the boys’ team because of what we accomplished, and I hope they are too. Yes, losing is always disappointing, especially when there is a slight chance of coming back to win. However, a game will never end with both teams happy—it’s just not how sports works, especially during an intense final between two closely-matched teams with histories of close games. Anyone who watched either game could see that both Graded teams deserved their spots in the finals and did not stop trying even when it seemed easier to just give up and accept defeat. The coaches of these athletes should be proud of the way both teams worked this season and played during their games. They learned to win with humility and lose with dignity. Bad referees and silly mistakes may come and go, but the lessons learned on the court will never be forgotten.
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sports
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger The day of a Graded Eagle at Big 8
Ines Gil
N
ovember 18, 2011
8:00 a.m. You wake up. Where are you? The beautiful Nosso Recanto Camp, full of lush nature and people just like you representing their school and playing sports they love. You feel the chill of the air as you clumsily get out of bed, but it doesn’t matter. It’s Friday, the last day of Big 8, the day of the finals. 8:30 a.m. You gather with your team for breakfast. All around you are faces of excitement, anxious for the day ahead. Graded is in three out of the four finals and one team is playing for 3rd place, making a full day ahead. 11:00 a.m. The boys varsity soccer team starts competing against EAB, a school from Brasilia, for the 3rd and 4th place titles. It may be cold and wet, but everyone from Graded gathers at the bleachers chanting and wearing their Graded colors proudly. This is what sets Graded apart from other schools at Big 8; the spirit. Every cheer from “Bubbles” to “Action” is chanted as we support the boys’ team and watch as Oscar Guerra dribbles the ball and Gabriel da Nobrega makes great saves from the goal. They give a tough fight against EAB but get the 4th place at Big 8. 2:00 p.m. After preparing for the final against ASA, the American School of Asuncion, by doing the Hokey Pokey and singing “Dynamite” at the top of their lungs, the girl’s varsity soccer teams starts to play. ASA scores in the beginning, but the Graded girls keep their heads up and keep fighting. All of Graded is in the stands wearing the jerseys of the girls and screaming and cheering. Nothing compares to the feeling of being on the field and looking up hearing people chanting your name and supporting you. The energy from the stands flows onto the field and soon after Yana Ahlden places a loose ball into the goal. The crowd goes crazy! Graded comes back into the second half focused and ready, but the game is still tied 1-1. For ten minutes of overtime ASA and Graded play and run their hardest, but no goals for either team means penalties. The Graded fans line up along the sidelines, arms around each other, as they watch the girls take the penalties. Carol Daffara makes great saves, but ASA ends up winning with the last shot. All the other Graded athletes were there at the end proud of their team as the girls’ soccer team gets 2nd place. 7:00 p.m. It’s now on to the next Graded team at the finals, the girls’ varsity basketball team. Once again it is against ASA and the
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game starts. The Ribiero twins Isabella and Julia play great together, dribbling the ball and making great passes. Despite having a hurt ankle, Isabella plays most of the game. Graded trails ASA, but as the girls play you can see the Graded mascot running down the lines and the fans taking part in the cheers with the cheerleaders. Everyone watches the game intently from the bleachers, whether soccer players or basketball players, and the cheerleaders keep the spirits up. ASA plays a good game, though, and Graded gets 2nd place. 8:30 p.m. It’s time for the last final of the day: boys basketball. Graded is up against ASA once again. Even after a long and tiring week, Graded joins up in the corner of the court standing and cheering before the game even starts. The boys’ team comes out to warm up, and the fans already are full of energy. The jerseys of the team have been handed out and all you see is a group of Eagles all in their Graded warm ups, a band of red and white. “Levels” by Avicii comes on during warm up, and Graded starts jumping up and down singing and dancing while the other schools observe in awe. The looks from the basketball boys show that they are ready and fired up: it’s game time. From the beginning Graded puts forth the energy and runs hard, scoring more and more points until it’s up to 20-0, 25-0, 27-0! ASA starts scoring more, but nothing can stop Graded now. With the group of Graded athletes singing “Love Story” in the background, the boys win the final 49-18, an amazing accomplishment. The Graded fans pour onto the court making a group in the middle surrounding the team. Everywhere you see tears of joy and huge smiles across everyone’s faces. 10:30 p.m. The award ceremony starts and all the teams receive their medals and trophies. Out of all eight schools, Graded gets 2nd place in the overall school competition. We couldn’t be prouder. 12:30 a.m. After all the excitement and a quick snack break, all of Graded gather for the G ceremony. “G”s are handed out to athletes congratulating and recognizing them for hard work, not only on the field but off. It’s the final time this group of student athletes gets together and although everyone is tired, it’s a great time to reflect on how well everyone did and to really appreciate the week and the hard work throughout it and the season. 2:30 a.m. It’s finally time to sleep after a long and emotional day. You collapse on your bed while certain cheers stay swimming in your head, but most of all it’s full of the memories from the week that will last a lifetime.