Adventurers by Default

By Dr. Tim Kimmel

If you’re looking for a great adventure—and have a family—you don’t have to go any further than where you are and who you’re with. Adventures are typically sold as a combination of risk, unknowns, and excitement requiring courage, nimbleness, and tenacity to pull off. Protocol assumes that if you want to claim “adventurer” on your social media profile, you’re expected to attach pics of you doing something wild like climbing a cliff with your toes and fingertips or free-falling from an airplane with just a big sheet and strings to break your fall. Or…you could raise some children.

I actually know a couple of professional adventurers— what I’d call “adventurers by design.” I’ve learned from them that the key to a good outcome is mitigating as much risk and eliminating as many surprises as possible before you’re into your adventure. Which is why they put so much training, planning, and preparation into whatever crazy thing they’re going to do.

Then there’s us—moms…dads…grandparents—what I’d refer to as “adventurers by default.” Except we don’t get the luxury of mitigating or eliminating anything when it comes to the risks or surprises that go with our titles. We find out early on (and often the hard way) that each child comes with a mind of their own. While trying to help them make up their independent minds about God, life, love, and themselves, it’s not uncommon to feel like we’re losing ours in the process. None of them have to be taught to be possessive, territorial, moody, or even dishonest. All of them have to be taught to say “please,” “thank-you,” “excuse me,” and “I’m sorry.” Each new season of their age brings its own set of risks, unknowns, and surprises. And before our main job is done, we’ll spend a couple of decades playing catch with their flus, strep throat, and pink eye.

But along the way, we get to live one of the greatest adventures there is. It has all the elements of the kind the wild-at-heart pursue, and requires just as much courage, nimbleness, and tenacity to pull off. But unlike those website adventures, being a parent or grandparent gives you the quiet heart-rush that comes from getting to turn some lights on in this present darkness, write some of the script for a time you will not see, and best of all— touch eternity.

Wise adventurers (and parents) never go it alone. And fortunately, we don’t have to. Faith gives us the opportunity to take on the highs and lows of raising our kids side by side with someone who’s never surprised by surprises and has never met a risk he can’t handle. His name is Jesus. When we let his truth guide the way and his grace define how we behave along that way, we can legitimately list “adventurer” in our profile. And if anyone demands proof, just post some pictures…of your kids.

Sincerely, Tim

Dr. Tim Kimmel is the founder of Grace Based Families and author of 14 books, including Grace Based Parenting and Grace at Work. He lives in Scottsdale, Arizona, with his wife of more than 50 years.