SPM 1119 Writing of Narrative Story (My essay here may be a bit long and a bit difficult for weaker students. But this essay is very very rich in description and plot. I want to use it to illustrate in great detail a range of effective words that students can learn, as well as the narrative techniques in crafting an engaging story. I also intend to use it to stretch the potential of stronger and gifted students)
By the end of the day, I realized it was the biggest decision in my life. As I was huddling and shivering in a wooden boat packed with hundreds of travellers like myself, I knew I was going on an unusual journey that would change my life forever. To any adventurous backpackers and travellers, this could be a much anticipated journey into the open sea. After all, the night was tranquil and the waves were shimmering under the picturesque star-lit sky as the moonlight gleamed on the boundless sea. Yet, deep down in my heart, as I was gazing at the majestic sea ahead of me, I knew I was no ordinary traveller on this boat. “Shah, look after your sister next to you. It’s going to be long long night before we get to the coast of Italy.” The feeble voice of Papa interrupted my pensive mood as he tried to squeeze his body into the crowded tiny space at the end of the boat. Indeed, my father was right. It would be a long night ahead and in fact, it had been a long arduous journey for us since my family escaped our war-torn hometown in Syria. Driven by our sheer desperation in seeking a better life beyond the shores, we joined the unthinkable fate of other war refugees on this boat. This was a journey of united hope and faith for all of us, as we crossed the Mediterranean Sea tonight in hopes of seeking refuge upon reaching the coast of Italy by dawn. Among many fellow refugees on the boat, many were starved and exhausted almost to the brink of death, while others were gripped by fear, shivering relentlessly and trying to stay alive in the open sea. As a teenage boy who was often ridiculed for my cowardice by my peers. I had never felt bravest in my whole life. If there was one thing that truly propelled this journey, it was my courage and my undying belief that this nightmare would soon be over on this boat. But I was wrong. Into the third hour of our journey in the wilderness of the sea, an unimaginable incident struck us, eventually altering the entire course of the boat, and our fates. Sometime near midnight, a loud thud beneath the boat shattered the surrounding silence, jolting us from our deep slumber. Before we knew it, water was gushing right into the boat right beneath our bare feet. Aghast at the sight of the inflowing water,
my heart started pounding rapidly as I had an ominous feeling about what just happened. Soon, to my greatest horror, the looming threat was pronounced by one of them. “We hit something ! The boat is sinking!” The heart-stopping warning sent cold shivers down our spines as we all reacted instinctively out of our paralyzing fear, jostling our way to flee the water in the boat. The tranquility of the night soon gave way to a mass hysteria and pandemonium on the boat, as I hastily grabbed the hands of both my father and sister, making our dash to the other end of the boat. The boat was sinking fast, at the mercy of the flooding water and I knew we had to brace ourselves for the worst – we had no choice to but to abandon the boat. “Papa, I am very scared…” My five-year-old sister was wailing in fear and helplessness as I forcefully put the life jacket on her while helping my frail father to do just the same. It all happened so rapidly that I did not even have time to think. I just trusted my instinct to do my best for my family as we fought on for our survival, and for our dreams of starting our lives afresh when we reached European coast. But little did I know that our dreams were soon fading away. Minutes later, we found ourselves in the middle of the ocean, right after we abandoned our sinking boat. Those without the life jackets were swimming and fumbling in the chilly water while those with life jackets were holding on to each other tight, trying to stay alive till the break of dawn. I thought my sister was now safe next to me but my false sense of security was shattered moments later. Out of nowhere, a middle-aged man was flapping his way to my sister in utter desperation and panic, attempting to latch on to my sister to keep himself from drowning. I tried to shove him away, but he was acting like a a wild uncontrollable beast! “Get away from my sister!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, nearly chocked by the chilly water. But what happened in the next few seconds changed everything forever. Much to my greatest horror, his irrational and mighty force caused my sister to be separated from her loose life jacket. She was submerged and eventually engulfed in the water as a result of the brute force exerted by the man. I watched in utter helplessness the unfolding of the terrifying event as I saw her being pulled into the depth of the water. My heart sank a dozen times, as I saw her sinking fast, unbelievably fast, into the water and yet I could not save her in time. I dove deeper into the water to reach her but to no avail. Her helpless face vanished from the surface of the water, and from my sight. In that moment, I knew in my heart our dream was drowned together with my sister. Amidst the chaos, a loud whistle was heard and we were instantaneously blinded by the powerful torchlight shone on our faces from a distance. The European patrol officers and coast guards were coming to our direction. The rescue was finally here,
but the help was just too late and too little. As we were being lifted to safety one by one, I had a hard time leaving the sea. Part of my heart was forever buried in the depth of the ocean, together with my sister, together with the lives of other unfortunate refugees. At the break of dawn, we finally reached the coast of Italy. Our only baggage is our elusive dream of a second chance in Europe. As the first light of dawn brought hopes to all other fellow survivors in a new land, I knew I too had to continue living and put the ghosts of my past behind me. But the story of my sister, and the stories of all other refugees of our times must go on and be told to the world.