Avoid A Collision With A Positive Vision A Guide for Living a Responsible Life and Making Positive Decisions
Avoid A Collision With A Positive Vision by Glenda Staten
Printed in the United States of America
Copyright 2012 Glenda Staten
ISBN 978-0-615-77428-5 (paperback)
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Table of Contents
Introduction Chapter 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Who are You? Chapter 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Strength Chapter 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Be Open to Change Chapter 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Set Goals Chapter 5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Friendship Chapter 6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bullying
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Introduction I enlisted in the Army at an early age. My military experiences made a profound impact on the way I live my life. I worked with many wonderful people from different cultures. I learned to respect everyone, have compassion for all people, and always move forward. Avoid a Collision with a Positive Vision helps you make positive decisions, and live a responsible life. As you get to know yourself better, and focus on your purpose, I hope you realize that you are the world’s greatest gift. Always remember that you should make the world a better place regardless of the path you take.
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Chapter 1 Who Are You? I believe that it is extremely important to know who you are. When you know who you are, you will make better decisions because you are aware of what you like and dislike. You are the world’s greatest gift, and you should always represent yourself with pride and dignity. You can have fun, enjoy life, and make responsible decisions while maintaining your character. Focus on being yourself instead of trying to be someone else. You are unique and you are special. Allow yourself to be the amazing individual that you are. Sometimes we focus on what other people think and we allow their way of thinking to become our way of thinking. Think for yourself. Do not let the past control you. Figure out how to reconcile your past in a positive way. This doesn’t mean that you will forget your past; it simply means that you will not allow it to determine your future in a negative way. Stop talking about your problems and find positive resolutions for them. You cannot continue to be confused and angry about the same issues. Seeking help from a qualified, honest professional is an option to help you make peace with your past. When you are centered and focused, you will handle your issues better. Set the example instead of caving in to peer pressure. Learn to be a positive leader instead of a negative leader or a negative follower. Respect yourself and respect others. Stop associating with people who do not respect you. If you are a pessimist, there are many things you can do to become an optimist. 5
Read positive books, play sports, join organizations, hang with positive people, listen to good music, and exercise to help you become more optimistic. Believe in yourself, get motivated, stay dedicated, and improve your life!
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Questions •
What do you like about yourself?
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What do you dislike about yourself?
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What can you change about yourself?
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If you can’t change something about yourself, are you willing to make peace with the issue?
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Are you willing to put in the work it will take to make the necessary changes?
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Are you mentally free from a negative past or do you carry the past with you every day?
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How will you resolve your past in a positive way?
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Are you an optimist or a pessimist? If you are a pessimist, are you willing to work on becoming an optimist?
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How will you work on becoming an optimist?
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Do you believe that being a positive person will help you improve your life?
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Chapter 2 Strength You will need strength as you travel your life’s journey. Every day will not be a good day, but you must hang in there because giving up is not an option. If you have a solid foundation, hold on to it because a solid foundation will be critical when you make decisions. If you do not have a solid foundation, spend time with people who know how to deal with life’s issues positively. Read successful stories about people who made it through difficult times and learn from their struggles. When you are dealing with issues, do not try to resolve them with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, revenge or anger because these things will only create additional struggles in your life. Do not lose hope. Find positive, healthy ways to deal with your issues. For example, talk to a trusted friend, your parents, or a counselor. If something is convenient or easy, it doesn’t mean that it is right for you. Do not settle for the easy way of doing things. Do not be afraid to challenge yourself because challenges will make you stronger, and help you handle future issues positively. I know you want the best life possible for yourself, and that is why you should always use your full potential. You do not have any reason to give less than 100 percent, but you have every reason to give 100 percent or more. Do not make hasty decisions, and do not make decisions when you are angry. Learn to make logical decisions instead of emotional decisions. Emotional decisions are not made with a clear mind because you’re emotionally attached to the issue. Take your time and figure out how to separate your emotional thoughts from your logical thoughts. Look at the issue from every angle.
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If you do not make the right decisions, remember that mistakes are a part of life. It is extremely important to learn from your mistakes instead of being consumed by them. Do not make the same mistakes over and over again. Take everything you learn from a bad situation and use it to improve your life. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes and flourish the way you were meant to. When you make wise decisions, your life can be productive, happy, and less stressful.
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Questions •
Do you let your friends make your decisions for you? Why or why not?
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What are your strengths?
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What are your weaknesses?
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Are you willing to turn your weaknesses into strengths?
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If you are willing to turn your weaknesses into strengths, how will you make the changes?
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Do you think you can learn from your mistakes instead of making the same mistakes over and over again?
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Chapter 3 Be Open to Change Life is about growing, learning and changing. Invest in the process of change and believe that things will get better because you will make them better. You must be open to change and you must be willing to make changes. Evaluate yourself, determine the changes you need to make, and start making them. Even though making changes can be difficult, do not be afraid to change. You must be honest with yourself. When you pretend that everything is okay, you will not resolve your issues. Some of the changes you resist the most may be the most important changes you need to make. If there is anything preventing you from living a balanced and happy life, get rid of it. If you are doing anything to block your happiness, stop it! You are special and you have something important to contribute to society! Your way of thinking is not always correct - it is simply your way of thinking. You must be willing to listen to constructive advice. Do not get defensive when someone is giving you helpful, healthy advice. Learn to distinguish between constructive advice and destructive advice. You can avoid unnecessary consequences if you do not make the same mistakes over and over again. Regardless of how many times you’ve done the wrong thing, it only takes one moment to start doing the right thing. You can control your thoughts and actions in all situations. When you do not have control over an issue, do not let the issue control you.
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Questions •
Are you open to change?
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Do you need to make changes in your life?
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If you need to make changes, which changes will you make?
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How will you make the changes in your life?
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Do you believe you can learn from the mistakes made by other people or do you think you need to make the same mistakes others make before you learn?
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Do you have more negative thoughts than positive thoughts?
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What will you do to start having more positive thoughts?
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Do you have bad habits that are preventing you from growing?
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If you have bad habits that are preventing you from growing, how will you correct your bad habits?
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Chapter 4 Set Goals Set goals for your life, develop a plan to implement your goals, and take action to reach your goals. Sometimes it may be necessary to have alternate plans if your initial plan does not work. Start working on being independent early in life. Once you become an adult, you are responsible for yourself unless there are medical issues involved. I think it is important to get a good education because your education will help you reach your goals. If you get distracted, rejected, or derailed along the way, do not give up. You can accomplish great things as long as you maintain discipline, work hard and do your best even if you don't get the support you want. Go after your goals with vigor and enthusiasm. Think positive and take positive action. Try to stay out of situations that you are not able to handle financially or emotionally. Sometimes you may think you can handle situations financially and emotionally, but if you are in these situations and they are too much to handle, you must have the courage to make wise changes. Improve your life by staying dedicated, motivated, and invigorated!
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Questions •
How do you plan to accomplish your goals?
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Are you willing to work hard to accomplish your goals?
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What will you do if your goals are not supported by someone you care about?
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Do you believe you have a purpose in life?
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What is your purpose in life?
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If you think you do not have a purpose in life, are you willing to explore the possibility that you actually may have a purpose?
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Chapter 5 Friendship Choose positive friends because it is important to have positive support. Some of your friends may provide good advice, and some of them may not provide good advice. If you listen to your friends’ bad advice, you will deal with the consequences. Evaluate your friendship, and determine if it affects you positivity or negatively. If you have friends who are rude and constantly criticize you instead of uplifting you, get different friends. Avoid negative people when you can. If you must deal with people who are negative, stay true to your principles, and do not allow their negativity to adversely affect you. If you have a disagreement with someone, learn how to disagree intelligently.
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Questions •
Do your friends value you?
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Are your friends rude to you?
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Do your friendships uplift you?
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Do your friends drain you mentally?
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Are you critical of your friends?
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Are your friends critical of you?
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Are you willing to find new friends if you need to?
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What kind of friend are you?
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How can you be a better friend?
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Chapter 6 Bullying Bullying should never be tolerated anywhere. If you are aware of a situation where someone is having issues with a bully, be careful, be wise, and report the situation to the proper authorities. Many people hurt themselves when they are bullied, and this is devastating. If you are having issues with a bully, do not give up; seek help from your parents, responsible adults or professionals. You have the right to live a bully-free life. If you are a bully, stop bullying people now. There is no reason to be a bully. If you do not like what someone does, it doesn’t give you the right to bully them. If you are envious of someone, it doesn’t give you the right to bully them. You must learn to respect others and respect yourself. If you are a bully, evaluate your issues, talk to responsible adults, and get help. You must have compassion and empathy for everyone. Find ways to help others instead of hurting them. You will be happier and your life will be more fulfilled. This is your life and you are not here to please others! Keep growing and learning. Opinions are not facts; they are simply opinions. You must find a positive way to deal with negativity. When a relationship doesn’t work out, do not harm yourself. Get help so you can move forward in a positive and healthy way. Learn to be confident without being egoistical. Use positive words when you talk because there is power in positivity. 17
Questions •
Are you a bully?
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If you are a bully, will you stop being a bully?
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If you think you cannot stop being a bully, will you get help?
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Do you know someone who is having issues with a bully?
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If you know someone who is having issues with a bully, how will you report the situation?
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Are you having issues with a bully? If the answer is yes, are you getting help from responsible people such as your parents, counselors, teachers, or the proper authorities?
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NOTES
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Glenda Staten grew up in Georgia. She enlisted in the Army and worked for numerous organizations in the United States and abroad before retiring in 2004. Glenda is the owner of Positivity 4 Ever. Glenda wrote Avoid a Collision with a Positive Vision to help teens and young adults make positive decisions and live a responsible life. Glenda received numerous awards while in the military including two Defense Meritorious Service Medals, the Meritorious Service Medal, and the Joint Service Commendation Medal. She completed her Master of Arts Degree in Management from City University of Seattle in Bellevue, Washington before she retired. Glenda enjoys helping others by contributing to local and national charities. Purchase Avoid a Collision with a Positive Vision at http://avoidacollision.com, call 424-248-8254 or send an email to info@avoidacollision.com. Available in ebook, Kindle, or paperback format (size 4x6--$5.00).
Avoid a Collision with a Positive Vision is published by Gossamer Wings Publications 20