Enjoying Our Differences

by Susan Lavigne

Are we really so unaware of how different we are from each other? That may sound like a silly question, but how many times are we disappointed when someone doesn’t act in a way similar to us or in a way we expect?

When I was in college, my roommate and I decided to paint our dorm room. I had been taught in my youth the “proper” way of painting with even strokes of the roller up and down. Meanwhile, on the opposite wall, my roommate was being a free spirit. She was creatively making circles. She was having fun, and I confess, I was angry. In my mind, she wasn’t doing it “right.” But who is to say what is right or wrong in this situation or in a lot of situations we face? The end product was what mattered most, and in this case, the room got painted. There are many situations in our lives where as long as the task gets completed, does it really matter how it gets done?

Now, think about some of the struggles with which you deal. Are the conflicts in your life about little things that really don’t matter? Is your child not cleaning his/her room exactly the way you would like? Is your spouse not doing the household repair/ task exactly how or when you would like it done? Are you upset because maybe the dinner is not the way your mother used to make it? How hard is it to let go of our expectations and let others be who God created them to be? What about you? Are you too hard on yourself? Are you trying to live up to an unrealistic standard of perfectionism?

Despite popular belief, most people are not trying to be difficult. They are just different. When we open our minds to this concept, we will have less conflict and more peace. When we have expectations of others or compare ourselves with others, we are setting ourselves up to be disappointed. Our greatest disappointments normally start when we don’t talk about our expectations. Sadly enough, most of the time, we don’t even realize we have expectations until we get disappointed. (I thought you were going to stay at home tonight with the kids)! These unspoken

expectations occur when we don’t inform the other person of our expectation and just assume they should know. (I shouldn’t have to ask. You should have known that I wanted flowers for my birthday).

So, what is the best way to deal with our differences? Talk about what we want and make sure it’s fair and agreed upon by everyone. Once we do this, we will really start to enjoy our differences and our lives more.

About The Author Susan Lavigne attends Cornerstone Church. She is a Christian speaker and songwriter. Feel free to contact her at susanclavigne@gmail.com.