Heal And Hope Counseling Services

by Glyndora Condon

Conflict is increasing for all mankind in this world, as evidenced by newscasts and within our homes, our schools, and most social forums. There are many factors that play into this issue: personality, culture, government, spirituality, personal experiences, and many others.

One common thread is the distorted thought of the Fallacy of Fairness. What lies within is one of the problems. Out of billions of people across the globe, each individual has their own gauge as to what they think is right and wrong, which often differs vastly from any other person’s gauge due to the factors that contributed to one’s beliefs, yet we expect others to comply with and to agree to “my” gauge, and we become resentful and angry if others do not.

As we contrast the Eastern world and cultures from the Western world and cultures, we find huge discrepancies, and much bias and prejudice, with the inability to comprehend how others believe and act. Even within a nuclear home with the same parenting, government, spirituality, and similar experiences, we find ourselves in disagreement regarding certain issues.

Simply, good things happen to bad people and to good people, and bad things happen to good people and to bad people, without respect for creed, color, race, nationality, government, socio-economic status, beliefs, education, and the like. In addition, we cannot even agree as to who are the good people and who are the bad people. We seek those of like minds and hearts yet still disagree on many issues, expecting our gauge to be superior to others. Unless we comprehend that in many cases, each of us is limited as to our knowledge and discernment and each of us is trying to be fair, we will find it difficult to find a solution in conflict.

Instead of arguing, it is best to invite the other person to disclose their thought process, placing their opinions as to what may be a solution on the table, as we calmly do the same. Realizing that God has all

knowledge and is the judge, we consider all options in the light of His Word and ask Him to guide us to a resolution that He wants for us. With better listening and communication tools, we will be able to check what we thought the other said with them and then speak to our own thoughts more effectively. As we seek a solution instead of acting out of the “Fallacy of Being Right,” then we will find it possible to respect others as we work together.

About The Author Glyndora Condon, MS, MFT, NCC, LPC; Heal and Hope Counseling Services. Mother of 4, grandmother of 8; entrepreneur of a Christian based counseling service; healhopecounseling.com.

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