Honor Thy Father And Mother

by Selina Davis

The Fifth Commandment, “Honor thy father and thy mother,” is probably one of my most-remembered Sunday school lessons from my childhood. As a child, I remember thinking this was one of the easiest to keep. When Moses brought the commandments down from Mt. Sinai, he brought the first covenant between a parent and a child(ren): a parent’s commitment to love and nurture their child, a commitment to help keep their child safe. In

return, a child would respect and honor their parent.

After having a conversation with a friend regarding her dread over Father’s Day, I was quick to realize this commandment did not come so easily for others. She spoke of hurt, abandonment, and a severed relationship with her earthly father. During this conversation, she asked, “How am I to honor a man who was abusive to me at such an early age and later abandoned our family?” I consider myself blessed to have parents who were both loving and nurturing. I have never felt that sting of hurt and abandonment from a parent. I wanted to speak God’s truth and make sure I came from a place of love, not letting personal feelings get in the way. However, I kept getting stuck on the word honor. The definition of honor requires us to give high respect and esteem. I couldn’t help but wonder if this relationship ever rose to this level. I am a mother and a daughter and have looked through both lenses and wanted to give her a biblical model to follow. After researching Scripture, I came up with six foundational principles to share with her regarding her father: 1: Pray for him 2: Be a Christian model 3: See to his essential needs 4: Look for common ground—establish boundaries or a safe zone where you don’t reflect on past hurts 5: Refuse to speak ill of your father 6: Forgive him as God has forgiven us. God will help you with this. The reward of honoring your parents is told in Ephesians 6:3: “That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” If we are willing to make efforts to honor our parents, we are honoring God. As I followed up with my friend months later, I am reminded of God’s faithfulness. Over time, she has slowly established a relationship with her earthly father. They have forgiven each other and left the past in the past, just as God leaves our past behind us. By doing this, they are honoring God and His commandments. God has given us what we don’t deserve: His grace and mercy.

About The Author Selina Davis is a Human Resource Manager and attends Samples Memorial Baptist Church. She and her husband Brian loves spending time with their 8 grandchildren and traveling.

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When we look at our history, it can be easy to every person that was greatly used by God actually beat ourselves up over all of the mistakes fits Solomon’s description. Every one of them reacted and failures. Truthfully, maybe we should poorly, lacked faith, questioned God, sinned, or even beat ourselves up now and again. But King Solomon, defied God. But every one of them—got back up. the wisest man of his time, once made this astounding It seems that Solomon thought a person can’t statement: “A good (righteous/godly) man falls seven actually be classified as “good” unless they have, times and rises again” (Proverbs 24:16). indeed, fallen a few times. For him, being a good

Surprised? man was NOT about never falling. In fact, never

The truth is, good men drop the ball, make falling might engender arrogance and pride, making mistakes, and get off track. one SELF-righteous instead of godly. Remember,

Interestingly, Solomon never shares why the Solomon taught that good men fall: not once or twice, good man falls. It appears the cause is irrelevant. His but multiple times. Truthfully, it’s difficult to truly primary message is that good men—GET BACK UP! understand another’s pain unless you’ve experienced

It seems that for Solomon, the defining factor of some of your own. How can you empathize with what makes one “good” is simply that though they another’s failure without having failed a few times fall, they do, indeed, get back up. Everyone gets yourself? How can one truly have compassion, knocked down, but getting back up “separates the men forgiveness, grace, or mercy unless they have needed from the boys.” According to Solomon, good men, the same? godly men, righteous men, drop the ball, make bad I’m convinced that our high calling is to love decisions, fail, and maybe even question God but—get people this way—with compassion, grace, and back up. understanding—but most importantly to help them—

This is not what I picture get back up. Knowing what it means to battle, to when thinking of a godly struggle, to fail, but also what it means to get back man. I think of Moses up prepares us for this great ministry. This is why holding the newly etched the Apostle Paul declared, “He comforts us in all our Ten Commandments, affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who David slaying the giant, or are in any affliction with the same comfort with which Elijah calling down fire from we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:4). Heaven. But Your gifts, abilities, and talents, though important, are not the primary thing; they are not what make you who you are. What makes you a good person, a godly person, is this: a good man falls down a few times, but he always gets back up. Though you have fallen, righteous man, by His grace—get back up. Then help others do the same.

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