Quick to Listen

by Sheneka Land

James 1:19 admonishes us to be “quick to listen and slow to speak.” Most often, this Scripture is used to discourage overuse of the tongue, and while we may begin to talk less, I believe that we still find ourselves challenged to listen well or to be “quick” to listen. Dictionary.com defines the word quick as “prompt or swift to do something, prompt to perceive; sensitive; prompt to understand, learn, etcetera; of ready intelligence.”

Relationships are difficult to build and maintain if we do not listen well. And many relationships that begin healthy and strong can slip into decay if we allow distractions to lead us into a practice of auditory neglect. Distractions may cause us to either not listen at all or to partially listen. Partial listening involves hearing only parts of a conversation, and more often than not, the listener will elicit a wrong response that will frustrate or even injure the heart of the one trying to communicate.

Healthy listening requires us to understand that others want and deserve to be heard. If we intend to affirm and enable others, we must learn to listen promptly and well. Relationships thrive and grow when watered by the gift of personal attention. Further, a committed listener will grow in wisdom, empathy, and love for others.

Recently, a young man shared with me a frustrating scenario in which a pastor asked him a question regarding his academic journey. As the young man began to respond, the pastor interrupted him and began overtalking him without allowing any verbal space for the answer to his question. In a matter of seconds, the pastor was saying, “See ya later man!” leaving the young man perplexed. What began as an invitation to share life with another turned into a crazy-making conversation that seemed to suggest that the pastor really wasn’t interested in the young man at all, but rather just felt an obligation to acknowledge him. Who among us has not been guilty of not listening well? Human nature makes it easy to forget that others’ words, thoughts, and ideas are just as important as our own. To listen well is to allow others a seat at the table, and everyone wants a place to belong. When we fail to listen well, we cheat ourselves of valuable relationships because we never get to know who people really are nor do we discover the ways in which they can contribute to our world through their strengths and talents.

Let’s accept the challenge to become better listeners by making ourselves present with good questions and creating affirming spaces for those who want to be heard so that they are truly known.

About The Author

Sheneka Land is an ordained minister and a graduate of the Pentecostal Theological Seminary. She enjoys speaking and writing and is co-author of From Rejection to Validation (pathwaybookstore.com). Sheneka pursues opportunities in care ministry where she can spread the news of hope and transformation to the suffering. She is mother to four sons whom she homeschooled for twenty-four years. She and her husband, Jon, currently reside in Cleveland, TN. www.thethreadsofgrace.com