Throughwith more it All... to come
Written by Edna Blake, Kathy Ohlsen, Cissie Perry & Elizabeth Peters A study book about crossroads and detours we experience along our spiritual journeys 1
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Through it All... with more to come
A study with different perspectives of shared experiences illustrating God’s faithfulness as we believers live through all the circumstances of our lives.
Through it All... with more to come.
© Edna Blake • O’Fallon, MO • December 2018 Email: wildsocks@aol.com ISBN 9780966890655 No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, except in case of brief quotations for article and reviews. Book Graphics and Cover Design by Elizabeth Peters Scripture Quotations from the following versions: Touchpoint Bible- New Living Translation • New International Version English Standard Version
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The Fellow Travelers... Kathy Perry Allen Ohlsen
First born, favorite aunt, second chance wife to the husband of my dreams. Love God, the Father of Abraham, Isaac and Moses and His Son, Jesus. Saved from drug abuse and physical abuse, continual healing from verbal abuse, spiritual abuse and self-abuse. Struggling artist, teacher, nature lover, traveler, beach seeker and enthusiast of the arts.
Elizabeth Peters
Middle child. Child of God from early age, raised in a faithful home. Wife for more than a half century. Mom to five, Grandma to seven. My life peopled with family, friends, fellow believers. Experienced in failure, disappointment and unrealized dreams, but... blessed beyond my worth. Interested in almost everything. Prologue It began thundering at the end of the first meeting for this book. Edna said, “You better go before it gets bad.” I got in my car and drove. There were ominous yet curiously beautiful clouds all around me. Large strokes of nearly black intermingled with a variety of grays, a batch of white here and there with peeks of blue. It began sprinkling and as soon as I got on the highway it rained steadily, all the way home. The amazing and interesting thing was that the sun was shining on me the whole time – all 22 miles! How is that possible?! I took that as a sign from God himself. HE — the Light of the World — is present in the midst of every storm. Through it ALL, with more to come, HE is indeed FAITHFUL! -Kathy
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Edna Blake
Only child. Mother of five. Preacher’s wife. Missionary. Radio host of Morning Drive time and Take Two. Teacher, writer, speaker, disciple maker. Care giver for Mom who lived to be 106 and a half. Moved 34 times, always observing that God was on the move. Widow, grandma, and great grandmother.
Cissie Perry
Last born of three and daddy’s favorite. Conniving thief of chocolate at the tender age of two. Wife, mother, grandmother, divorced. Blessed to be loved and admired by most my whole life. Figure skater, water ballet swimmer, dancer, event planner, teacher, play writer, creative doer, curriculum writer, enthusiast of the arts.
Through It All... Section 1 - THE WAITING ROOM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1. What am I doing here? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2. How long will I be here? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3. Who is waiting and who is watching? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Section 2 - THE VOICES IN MY HEAD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4. Who am I listening to? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5. My emotional responses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6. Processing this process . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7. The truth will protect your mind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
23 29 33 38 42
Section 3 - ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8. How do I fit in? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9. How can I be content? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10. Conforming to whose image? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11. It’s OK to be unique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
48 53 59 65 71
Section 4 - WHO ME? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12. Poor Choices . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13. Bad Circumstances . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14. My Shortcomings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15. Taking responsibility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16. Sabotaging myself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
76 81 87 93 98 103
Section 5 - HOW HAVE I BRANDED MYSELF . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17. Comparing myself to others . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18. Looking in the mirror . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19. The total person . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
109 114 119 123
Section 6 - SUMMING UP THE JOURNEY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
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SECTION ONE
The Waiting Room Think it over and write it down: Are you waiting on an answer or direction for something in your life right now?
WAIT!
You’ll never walk alone ... It is so tempting to conclude that nothing is going to happen when you are in the waiting stages of life. The long, dry periods of prayers with no apparent answers leave us with doubt and insecurity. What we don’t have at those times is the perspective from heaven, the view from above.
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homeland and journey to Canaan, but he faltered after years of waiting for a son with his wife Sara. Taking Hagar instead, he fathered Ishmael, but this son was not the promised heir. Nevertheless, Isaac was born to Abraham and Sarah. God kept His promise.
With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. I Peter 3:8
Watching the total eclipse of the sun, I heard a young person shout, “Look, look! It’s happening!” And in the excitement, she added sarcastically, “Jesus is coming!” She went on, “It’s all over the internet how the eclipse is a sign of the return of Christ. I guess those people don’t realize eclipses happen all the time, just in different places.”
That pressure cooker time is when believers tend to take things into their own hands. Remember Abraham? He believed God enough to leave his
The fact is, the return of Christ IS predicted. And He WILL come again. Think back to the time of the birth of Christ. That event was also predicted by the
ancient prophets, but the generation of His day did not recognize Him when he showed up. Just as Christ was born on this earth over 2000 years ago, He will come again as He promised. How do we wait for Him? Expectantly. Hopefully. With commitment to His Word and His ways. Patiently. Persistently. Placing one foot in front of the other and walking on in faith. Romans 8 makes an interesting analogy of the earth waiting for the “birth” of God’s children: For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Romans 8:19-22
Just as Abraham took matters into his own hand, mankind in general has done the same thing. It has taken much too long for God to act, so we have attempted, with futility and destruction, to run the earth our way. On a personal level, we have stopped looking for God to act, and made decisions and taken actions in our own limited understanding. We bring “Ishmael” into our lives instead of waiting for “Isaac”. There is a BIG picture. And it is WAY bigger than our individual lives. God’s marvelous plan to create a people for Himself started with the creation of earth. His plan will renew the earth and bring redemption to his people. God’s plan for all is intertwined among our individual lives. He patiently builds His Kingdom through the ages of man and the lives of each one of us. Our faithful response to difficulties and trials build the structure of God’s eternal community. Wait. Wait with understanding and determination. Wait through all of the circumstances of your life, trusting that God’s plan is safely in place and you can walk on.
Ah, the proverbial waiting room. I just so happen to like Wikipedia’s definition of a Waiting Room – “A building, or more commonly a part of a building or a room, where people sit or stand until the event or appointment which they are waiting for begins.” I can easily see myself sitting, patiently and expectantly waiting for the next adventurous trail to open up before me.
I can also easily see myself standing, pacing back and forth, anxiously, restlessly waiting for the next adventurous trial to open up before me. Waiting room events, whether a trail or a trial, happen daily. Some are so small we barely notice. Some go on for days, weeks, years or perhaps a lifetime. It’s those ones that last for more than a couple of days that really annoy us. Why is that?
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Instead of focusing on the event whether trail or trial, perhaps we should be focusing on the appointment? Could these events be more enjoyable, more tolerable if we viewed them as an appointment made by God himself? Is that so far fetched? Isaiah 30:18, “So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For
the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help.” Why we find ourselves in the Waiting Room might just boil down to….. A divine appointment with God.
Time passed... and passed... Habakkuk 2:3-5 But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. The prophet Habakkuk was telling the people, you had better listen…God is going to bring judgment on our nation and the nations around us. You need to repent. God is going to judge the situation with righteousness and He is going to take care of us…. But time passed, and passed and it wasn’t happening. Habakkuk was getting anxious and his expectations of what God should be doing was starting to wear thin. The Prophet asked God, “Will you let them get away with this forever?” Have you found yourself asking God, “Why did you allow this, and why didn’t you change it, and why weren’t you there to prevent it even? When I received the news that my son, Tim, had been 8
killed by a person driving a truck out of control and had taken his life…I thought about all those things. “You could have changed the course of that day so easily but you allowed it.” I can’t believe God allowed me to say that to Him! When I was 5 months pregnant with my 5th child and was given penicillin for the first time and had a serious reaction and went into early labor and delivered a still born child my second child to lose in 7 months…I so questioned God’s faithfulness… I realized that my life for the most part was being lived in the “waiting room.” I had no control…I had no say….prayer didn’t matter either way, it was all about life and the circumstances and that my life and choices were covered….by God, and I was about to learn about Him and His character and also about who I was. The God, my God…loved and cared for me. He spared Michael from having juvenile diabetes, He healed me
many times, He healed my Mom from a serious health issue when I was 13…He provided for our family all the time when we had hardly anything to pay bills or to eat. He saved my Dad, and my Grandpa, He took us through the valleys and the mountain top experiences. He granted us safe travel, He saved my father in-law, He provided housing and jobs, He promised never to leave us or forsake us, and He just keeps loving me now…taking my dear Mother home safely at 106 and a half years old to be safely with Him, so what is God demonstrating by allowing us to be in the “Waiting Room?” Through It All. The Waiting Room! I have observed that others are in the waiting room too…they are learning His Plan and Purpose for them and He has all of us totally in His heart and His mind. He cares for me - He cares for what is going on in my life - He has it…and He is teaching me more of His faithfulness and I am growing in faith, patience, and the fruit of the Spirit…He is able to use me..and He is
bringing me into the conformity of His image. The timing of God is beyond my understanding as are His ways and His thoughts. He uses me, an ordinary person, imperfect in my ways and thoughts, He allows me to be part of building His Kingdom and I get to serve Him, even though I don’t have that much to bring…He uses me.
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As I am waiting, I am in the word. I am preparing myself to be ready at the drop of a hat. I am waiting for who might show up at my open door. I value what I have rather than what I don’t have. I listen for the Holy Spirit to speak directly to me and my situation. If I do not have any directions, I just wait until He calls my name. I trust God’s character and His faithfulness. I am blessed! I know I am right where I need to be…in His will.
This too shall pass, and it usually doesbut never as FAST as I want it to!
The detention room To define the Waiting Room: A specific place in time or space – which requires every human’s attendance and also, attention. There are an unlimited number of reasons for being there and the same infinite number of feelings about finding oneself there.
Recalling my daughter’s first day of middle school: She hopped in the car talking passionately about one matter she intended to make perfectly clear… “I told my teacher I could not and would not wait in the Detention Room!” “What’s up?” “I’m in middle school now and one thing is for sure…if my friends aren’t doing it…definitely count me out, too! No waiting in 9
Detention…whatever room it is…my teacher told me to talk it over with you (rolling eyeballs —a genuine clue of frustration). With my total attention and desire to help, I inquired, “What is the detention room?” Believe it…she had no idea! Not many people get bent out of shape over chewing gum in class these days (if rules are followed). But — Fast-forward more than 3 decades later — I often wonder why God might have me in detention…
how can I get going anywhere if I’m always waiting to go…somewhere? Believe it — I’ve heard quite a few judgments about what others are thinking and saying when it is suggested that I am “a piece of work!” TRUTH IS: Detention is a mighty powerful and wonderful waiting room…
God is still working on me…
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you How does acting on our own limited understanding affect our time in the waiting room?
What does your life look like to others when you are in the waiting room?
When have you found yourself asking God, “Why did you allow this?”
Think of a waiting room you have endured. What purpose might it have served for you or others?
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This verse or phrase from this section will help me wait...
Chapter 1- THE WAITING ROOM
Why Am I Here? Think it over: Why do you ask God “Why?” when something unexpected happens? How does He reply?
WAIT!
I like it when there is a list...
These thoughts just seem to roll out of my head when I find myself in a place where I am not sure of the next step or the next move or even able to understand what my own purpose is about in the midst of any given situation. It is not exactly down time, but it can be in the midst of some hard to understand circumstance and I find no answers for what is going on around me. I like it when there is a list and God is taking me through the list and I am able to see it clearly… Wishful thinking, God asks us to trust Him, and in that process of learning to trust Him, He gives us opportunities through the events of life and living to do exactly what learning to Trust means. My favorite verses on trust come from Isaiah 26: 3-4 You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you.
Whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock. When I am learning to trust, it means I let go of it…I sit in the waiting room and yes, I can ask the questions, but I have to let go of the anxiety, while I wait for the open door to peace and rest…Waiting then for Him to enter into the situation and either change my heart or change the outcome of what concerns me and then I just sit and wait. Sometimes prompted by the Holy Spirit, I do have to participate. I have to go or do something that will set the motion into Trust. Trusting can mean we do nothing, or we must do something to participate in God’s plan and purpose. God made a promise to Abram…he would take him 11
to a place where he could live out the promise and the Covenant. He didn’t know where he was going or how he was going to get there, he had concerns I am sure, but the knot maker for me was… his descendants would inherit the land and the promises and he didn’t even have any children. Genesis 12: 1-4 Then the Lord told Abram, “Leave your country, your relatives, and your father’s house, and go to the land that I will show you. I will cause you to become the father of a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and I will make you a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you. All the families of the earth will be blessed through you.”
Abraham became anxious during that time of waiting for God to fulfill His promise, twenty two years is a long time and at 100 years old, finally…Abraham realized, yes indeed, he could trust God. God fulfilled all He promised to Abraham. I marvel at God’s patience with us as He waits for us to figure it out, as He waits for us to get it, as He waited for Noah to build the ark and for people to come to the end of themselves, but they never did and were totally destroyed. 1 Peter 3:20 Those who disobeyed God long ago when God waited patiently while Noah was building his boat. Only eight people were saved from drowning in that terrible flood.
God knows and sees me... The typical waiting room is generally rather boring. I wonder if that’s an intentional thing to help calm us so we aren’t thinking about why we’re in there? Regardless of the visual aesthetics, there’s always a reason we find ourselves sitting in one of those chairs or benches where hundreds before us have sat. We don’t know who has sat there, or why, or what was going on in their life or maybe they just so happened to leave behind a virus just waiting for a new carrier.
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All that said, don’t you think the purpose of the waiting room should be to make us comfortable while we wait? I suppose every now and again that actually does happen. So what does the waiting room look like when we’re having that divine appointment with God? Maybe our attitude dictates what we perceive? Am I angry with God for throwing a monkey wrench
into things so he can have some one-on-one time with me? Maybe I’ve allowed fear to paralyze me, blocking God’s power to work on my behalf? Am I drowning in depression, unable to lift my hand for help? These scenarios can all be reasons we’re in the waiting room and all lend themselves to a dark and desperate place. God knows and sees me when I’m angry with him, and he lets me act like a self-centered brat for as long as it takes for me to realize that he is the one in control and his plans are good. “For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope,” Jeremiah 29:11. God also sees me when I am in the pit of depression or gripped by fear and he waits patiently for me to turn to the hope and peace that he wants me to experience.
Other reasons we may find ourselves in that “divine appointment” room may not be bleak or scary at all, although at times it can seem frustrating. Do we ever consider that God would just like us to visit his waiting room for a much needed rest? He actually invites us to come to him for just that! Matthew 11:28 says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” That sounds like a nice game plan to me! So why is it that so often we either forget this invitation or just choose to ignore it? Sometimes it seems our society feeds off of stress and over-achievement, which without a doubt leads to unrest.
Contemplation or meditation can be another pleasing reason to visit the waiting room. God’s desire is to have a personal relationship with each one of us. Everyone knows that the more time you spend with a person, the better you will know him or her. It’s amazing to me that the creator of the universe actually wants to spend time with me! That door is always open. It is so important to remember that God is always faithful. Psalm 145:5 “I will meditate on your majestic, glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles.” Oh, that we could be content waiting with God.
Please have a seat in waiting room number 3We do as we are told. Door number 3 looks just like the other doors. Well worn wood with a metal kickplate and a bronze knob. Inside are the usual chairs with square backs and blue-gray vinyl cushions. The plastic sliding window behind which the woman with the schedule sits. Random people of different shapes and ages, all of them quietly waiting to hear their name called. We sit down and wait. This would be boring, but we are waiting for an answer this time. Gary pulls out his phone and plays solitaire. I pick up a magazine. “Michael Smith”, calls out the nurse and opens the door beside the plastic sliding window. An old man hobbles to the door. We wait. I glance sideways at Gary. He looks calm, but I know his stomach is churning and he is breathing irregularly. It took us both by surprise months ago when the doctor bluntly informed us of his cancer. Now, after weekly injections followed by painful days, we wait for
another biopsy. Is the cancer gone? We wait for the doctor to explain the results. “Marla Jenkins”, calls the nurse. Gary sighs and plays another 8 under a 7 on his game. Our praying has been continual through these weeks. We prayed together, separately, in the morning, before sleep, every time Gary had an attack of nausea, on Sundays at church, in the car driving. “Lord, let the medicine do its work”, we prayed. “Clear the body of the cancer and give relief ”. “Please.” We know God is our healer. We know He heals Are you a patient... the sick. We believe His power and or are you patient? authority over all. We know He is able, but we don’t’ know if he is willing. Or should we say, we don’t know His plan for us. Our lives are on hold as we go through this time of hope and dread.
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My Aunt Lucy says you have to pray and believe. She shares stories of God’s miraculous intervention to heal that she personally knows about. Meanwhile, Aunt Lucy has macular degeneration and she sees only shapes and shadows. “God can do it if He wants to!”, she says about her eyes. She waits for His will and meanwhile shares Jesus with everyone she sees. Her life, at 97, is not on hold. She is relishing every day, even the difficult ones. These phrases may explain God’s waiting room: ...suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3) ...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, (Hebrews 12:1) ...you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:3)
... Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete (James 1:4) ... knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; (2 Peter 1:6) God’s primary purpose for us in His waiting room is to develop perseverance, which is a quality nobody wants to cultivate. But perseverance develops our character and in turn, hope; a positive attitude grounded in God’s good will. Our pathway will require perseverance for our maturity in faith. Indeed, when our faith is tested to its limits, perseverance blooms. And the end result in our life is godliness. “Gary Peters” calls the nurse, and we finally walk from the waiting room to open the next chapter in our lives. We will run with perseverance the race marked out for us. We will relish every day, and testify of God’s good will with everyone we meet along our path.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you
ase r phr ed o e s cus ver This ep me fo e will k d o G t. on I wai e l i h w
How can you keep your thoughts focused on God in the midst of your day to day life.?
What do we learn about God’s character when He has the patience to wait for us while we figure it out?
Why do we hold on to fears and depression while God is waiting to see us through it all?
How can we cultivate perseverance- can it be a joyful experience?
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Chapter 2- THE WAITING ROOM
How long will I be here? Think it over and write it down: How do you react when God’s timing takes over your schedule? WAIT!
Off go the bottle rockets! Generally speaking, I’d say most people do not like having to wait. Maybe because the main thing about waiting is it requires patience. Time is a precious and limited commodity, so when we are asked or perhaps forced at times to wait, things can get ugly pretty quickly. If we’re not careful, we can actually get belligerent over the fact that we have to wait. Things are no longer in our control. Isn’t that the real gist of it?
different meanings for the same spelling of the word. As an adjective, patient means, “bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc, with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger or the like.” As a noun, it means, “an individual awaiting or under medical care and treatment.” It’s funny how the same word with two very different meanings seem to fit together so perfectly.
Back to that word - patience. Since it seems to be such a foreign concept these days, I felt compelled to do a small study on the word patient. Thanks to our often confusing English language, there are two totally
I think it’s easier to be patient when I am a patient. It seems that when we know we have an appointment that requires some amount of waiting time, we prepare ourselves for that. It’s what’s expected. As long as we 15
don’t have to wait too long, it’s really no big deal. But if we have to wait 15 or 30 minutes or maybe an hour or more, the fuse has been lit and the fireworks commence. Off go the bottle rockets of complaining and if that doesn’t work, fire the mortars of anger! I am not proud to admit it, but I have been both the fuse lighter and the fireworks! What happens when God chooses to put me in the Waiting Room…when he calls me for that divine appointment? Shouldn’t I behave like an adult while I’m there…although I’m not really sure what that should look like anymore? So many adults these days throw temper tantrums the likes of which no child would get away with. I wonder what God thinks when we respond this way when he asks us to wait? Isn’t it a bit ridiculous to think that we have the right to demand to know what God is doing and how long do we have to wait anyway? The BibleGateway has a nice definition of patience that might help to put things in perspective. It suggests that patience is “the quality of forbearance and self-control
which shows itself particularly in a willingness to wait upon God and his will. Believers are called upon to be patient in the expectations of God’s actions, and in their relationships with one another.” We need to learn how to exercise some amount of selfcontrol. Proverbs 16:32 says, “It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city.” Self-Control is a hard, hard thing for me, especially when it comes to the things that come out of my mouth…and the things that I put into my mouth. Self-control is one of those fruits that rarely make it past the blossom part in my life. I so need to spend time with God to allow the Holy Spirit to continue to cultivate those beautiful fruits of “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control,” Galatians 5:22-23. Why can’t we just be content and let the master gardener do his thing?
Wilderness wanderings Imagine, if you can, what the children of Israel experienced upon leaving Egypt. God parted the Red Sea, sustained them with manna from heaven and water from the rock, and guided them with a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. They were headed for a land promised them. They would be a nation and would prosper under the loving care of God. 16
They arrived at the boundaries of the good land. Imagine their excitement. They were almost home. Moses sent one representative from each of the twelve tribes to scout out the situation and come back with a report. After 40 days of exploration, the men returned bearing a huge cluster of grapes, as well as pomegranates and figs. “The land is flowing with milk and honey!” was the report. “But the inhabitants are
fierce and the cities fortified”, said the fearful of the group. “We could never defeat them.” Of course they were correct. They didn’t have the weapons and manpower to overcome armies and occupy a new land. This is what they told the people, who wailed and cowered against marching forward. They had already forgotten how the Lord had defeated the Egyptians and they didn’t have to do a thing but walk out. God decreed that they would wander in the wilderness one year for every day that the land had been surveyed. Forty years, enough time that all the adults at that time would die, and only their children would go forward and possess the land that God had promised. They had created their own waiting room through their fear, and lost their blessing. Their children had to endure those forty years of deprivation as well, although it was not their fault. Joshua and Caleb, the two truthful and brave scouts that wanted to advance into the land, also had to wait. Some waited because they were afraid. Some waited because they were affected by the disobedience of others. They were all in the waiting room together for different reasons. They all had to endure the harsh conditions of desert dwelling.
After the forty years were completed, Joshua led the Israelites into the land. Their first battle was for Jericho, and you know that story. God made the walls fall down.
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In our lives, we may be stuck in a waiting room for various reasons. We may have created our own situation, or we may be sharing the consequences of someone else’s disobedience. Whatever the reason, it is good to note that God kept his promise, and that the faithful believers kept on going. Our task then, is to
I want to... I CAN do that... But will I CHOOSE to do that... Choices determine our actions.
Live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. Colossians 1:10-12 One day we too will enter our promised land.
Living in limbo... I have come to the conclusion that living out my everyday life has nothing to do with my willingness… it may affect my attitude, for sure but if God is indeed in control…and He surely is; then I am at His mercy. His plan and His purpose is also about His time frame.
His time frame for the generation of the Israelites to spend in the wilderness for 40 years was about waiting for the whole generation of disbelief and grumblers to die off…It took a long time. Caleb and Joshua lived through it and came out on the other side of it 17
all because they believed God and trusted totally in God and they did not experience death until they had received the promise of actually living in the promised land. I say, good for them….but, when I am waiting for something to happen, I want it yesterday.
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This process of moving has been taking several weeks now and I am starting to get weary of it all. I want to be in my new little house, I want to get started We still want at seeing how the furniture will all fit, signs & wonders I want those new floors to be done and maybe even the half bath completed. What is waiting supposed to teach us anyway? Do you know specifically, what you are learning in the process of waiting for the will of God? I am not always sure of what I am learning or what I am supposed to be learning. I feel like I am in Limbo! Waiting for God’s timing brings great rewards… Lamentations 3:25-26 The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seek him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation from the LORD. So maybe the key is learning to be silent and not to complain or whine, while waiting for the plan of God to be revealed to you…I’m not sure, but I know silence is not one of my strong points. I find things to complain about, and I certainly feel justified in it along the way… So NOT good! I know that trust comes into play here while waiting.
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Trusting that God is going to work it all out while I am waiting in the wings for the script. The prophet was waiting for God to bring judgement upon the wicked Babylonians for their oppression on Israel…Come on, let’s get rid of these guys and put them in their place. Bring it and totally destroy them, but….. Habakkuk 2:3-5 But these things I plan won’t happen right away, slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to passs. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day! So in the midst of this move and waiting on God…my word for today was, “It will not be overdue.” It seems like it is taking forever. I don’t think I have learned very much from this experience at all. If anything, I have been irritable and grouchy and even had sleepless nights, and I ask myself, “Where is my confidence? How am I walking in the Spirit? Does this look like someone who is trusting God’s timing and His Provision?” I didn’t like the answers and I had to confess my lack of faith… I am starting to look like one of those Christians who want to see it, rather than believe it. Walking by faith and not by sight is almost as difficult as walking on water.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you
How does complaining affect your self-control?
When someone else’s poor choice has affected your life, what is your response to that person and to God?
How does your waiting reveal who you are?
This verse or phrase will remind me to actively wait...
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Chapter 3- THE WAITING ROOM
Who is watching while we are waiting? Think it over and write it down: Does it matter that others are watching how you react to life’s experiences?
WAIT!
On display for the world to see... I know that people are always watching. My neighbors know when I go to Church, when the Bible study group is meeting, they will see my friends. People watch us even if we don’t know who they are and when they are watching. I used to be concerned about who might be observing me and my comings and goings but I don’t worry about that anymore. I have learned several things over the years about pleasing people, pleasing 20
God, and being content with who I am when no one else is around. Ephesians 5:10 Try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. This is key for me, if I am focused on pleasing Him, then whatever is going on will be under His authority
and will be within the guidelines of what needs to be happening in my life. I am asked to live my life as one who is living in the light…as a person who does the deeds of those living in the light and behaving under that example.
sometimes carry out those thoughts into action. We need Grace for sure in those times of disobedience and we need to confess our sin and move to the part of living as Forgiven People. Grace again comes into play.
But….Pause….I am not always living under the control of the Holy Spirit. I do have this old nature that battles within me…and it is not always Christ like.
On the other hand, I think it can be good for people to see that we are not perfect and we have to depend on the cross for our salvation every day. We are covered, and our sins are totally blotted out and we can live in freedom and forgiveness because of the cross. We all have sinned and come short of the glory of God…and living in that freedom brings us to the end of ourselves and our self righteousness.
Ephesians 5:15-20 So be careful how you live.Don’t live like fools but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. These verses so convict me, because when things are rough, when I am in the waiting room, waiting on the will of God it is not always pleasant and I don’t always portray my new nature and being in the Spirit, I am sometimes, grouchy and doom and gloom. During those times, I pray that no one is watching that will judge me too harshly. I ask for grace during those times, I ask that God would cover me and remember my attitude may not represent Him well during those times. I have had times in my life I would like to forget, pray that no one saw that action, heard my words. Aren’t you glad others cannot read our minds? In the comics you see the little circle above the character and what he is thinking…and you think, oh no! But God sees our actions, knows our thoughts and watches us
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We are on display daily for the world to see….. they are watching how we are going to handle that Do you feel like moment of discouragement, you are living life disappointment, doubt, and in a fishbowl? even pride. We don’t always take the high road, sometimes we miss an opportunity, but I am personally grateful, that I have already been forgiven and judged…I am free. Galatians 5:1 So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the Law. All of our times are known by Him…He continues to love, restore, heal, and give us another day or another opportunity to benefit from living as a Forgiven Person. Peek a Boo, I see you! 21
Being a dangerous Christian...
There’s a whole ‘nother side of the Waiting Room experience that we tend to overlook. Perhaps it’s because we don’t even realize the scenario exists? It’s hard to focus on anything else but ourselves and our issues while we’re in the Waiting Room, don’t you think? Whether it be a divine appointment for healing, contemplation, meditation, intervention, change or rest, we need to be aware that the network of people that surround us, are in fact, watching us. How we act and react, will undoubtedly cause a ripple effect that has the potential to sooth and bring hope and peace or become a tsunami and destroy those in its path.
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For me, this realization has come about through a long, complicated, twisted, bumpy and often Have you put GOD uncomfortable journey. I’m in a waiting room? aware I have lost a lot of friends and acquaintances due to the fact that I honestly had convinced myself that I didn’t care what anybody else thought about me. Even though I am a Christian, I can be a dangerous one…as I’ve found so many of us are, unfortunately. My life was a train wreck and I had no clue about the power of the Holy Spirit or the fact that I was actually expected to live a different kind of life. 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold the new has come.” Part of being a Christian is knowing your Savior and Father and learning how to live in the world, but not be of it. If one has access to a Bible, this is how you
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get to know Christ…spend time in the Word. If I had known this, perhaps it would have prevented my warped perception of God’s unconditional love for me. It’s one thing to know that Jesus loves us just as we are, but it’s another to use that as an excuse to justify unacceptable behavior. I didn’t get the fact that God wanted me to change, to become more like his son, until I was much older and finally studying the bible. As I stated, the Bible is the key to knowing Christ and the Father. It’s hard to know someone without spending time with them. Getting to know God is the best personal investment of time I have ever made. I still wonder, what are those people who are watching me go through life, seeing? I’m deeply disturbed and sad to know that I have been that tsunami and destruction in the lives of others. To shed a flicker of light on how that can and does happen, I speak from my own experience. My life was one of abuse, distrust, abandonment, and an extremely low self-image. I was very depressed for about 20 years and abused drugs for about 10 of those years to self medicate. It’s hard to love others when you can’t stand yourself. Not much good stuff can come out of a mouth that is connected to a negative, defensive, damaged mind. I am so thankful for God’s faithfulness to me! Reflecting back, it seems more like I had put God in the Waiting Room while I stumbled through my teens, twenties and early 30’s. Somewhere in my 30’s Christ
was gaining my attention and able to hold it for more that a mere couple of minutes here and there. I am so thankful for his grace, mercy, hope and endless love. Christ was always my lifeline and thread of hope. He gently sustained me through countless Waiting Room encounters as he revealed himself to me and helped me to gradually change and mature.
Romans 12:2 is helpful to learn how to change your ugly mess if you’re clueless like I was. It says, Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
We live our lives on a stage...
The young woman had a youngster in tow and a baby in a seat in the shopping cart. She put some bananas and lettuce in the cart, picked up cereal and bread, then headed for the baby supplies. Studying through the products hanging on a display, she pulled off an expensive item and quietly tucked it into the blankets of the baby seat. Who’s watching? Her young child, old enough to understand, had probably seen this before. He was being coached in the art of shoplifting and mentored in the subject of dishonesty. He will probably find a way to slide a candy bar into his pocket soon. The store has video cameras intermittently broadcasting its customer’s actions. Someone is sitting in a small room watching monitors, and chances are this young woman has been noticed. She can’t be accused before she leaves the building, because she can merely say she hasn’t paid yet. So security officers will approach her outside, and if she is known to them as a repeat
offender, will be held until a policeman comes to arrest her. The community she lives in watches the incident on the parking lot. A neighbor recognizes her and shakes his head in disgust. “Not again,” he mutters to himself. The young woman’s inner self witnesses the episode and imprints guilt upon her conscience which her mind quickly overcomes by remembering phrases like, “That store will never miss it, I need it, I deserve it as much as the next person.” Much later in life after countless other similar incidents, her conscience is seared and dulled. Who else is watching? God is omnipresent and all knowing. What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. Matthew 10:29 (NLT) 23
“For God watches how people live; he sees everything they do. Job 24:31 “He is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care. If only you would listen to his voice today! Psalm 95:7 Does it matter? And I saw a great white throne and the one sitting on
it. The earth and sky fled from his presence, but they found no place to hide. I saw the dead, both great and small, standing before God’s throne. And the books were opened, including the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to what they had done, as recorded in the books. Revelation 20:11-12 We live our lives on the stage of our time and place and a great cloud of witnesses is watching our performance.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you
How can God’s strength be made perfect in my weakness?
What is the next generation learning from your actions? How might the consequences of your actions affect you, your family, and others?
How does a “who cares” attitude affect yourself and others?
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This verse or phrase will remind me that someone is watching me while I wait...
SECTION TWO
The Voices in My Head Think it over and write it down: How do you apply selective hearing to the voices in your head?
This way! No- this way
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Mental chatter The mind is an extraordinary and diverse piece of God’s work. It is capable of inventing and destroying, compassion and vengeance, dreaming and scheming, pondering and lying, pristine peace and suicidal depression. The mind is so wondrous and complicated that people have been trying to figure it out for centuries, and some have made a profession of it. I read an interesting article that said, “The average brain is believed to generate around 50,000 thoughts per day. Disturbingly, it’s estimated that in most people 70% of these thoughts are negative.”
Doesn’t seem so far off from society today. So much bad, wrong, immoral, vile, hateful, dishonorable, corrupt, depraved, vicious, shocking, heinous, horrible happenings…all the time…all over. I will honestly admit, my mind can be my worst enemy. I don’t understand why I’ve done some of the things I’ve done, and I’m frustrated and disappointed with so many of my poor choices and the consequences of them.
Well, that definitely explains a lot about my “mental chatter” and me. The article continued, “People generate negative thoughts so automatically they are unaware that it is happening, that it is actually a choice they are making.”
Whether it is a conscious or a subconscious choice I am making, according to Romans 12:2, I have the option to allow God to transform me by the way I think. I have found that to be a struggle and often a downright battle but it is so worth fighting for that future of hope.
The Bible seems to infer that our hearts, minds and emotions are an interconnected, complicated oneness that is our very soul/sole being. Matthew 15:19 says that my evil thoughts come from my heart. Psalm 64:6 says the human heart and mind are cunning.
Jeremiah 29:11 tells me, ”For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Thanks to Adam and Eve our good and perfect minds were “opened” to evil. Right off the bat, brother kills brother due to negative, self-righteous thinking. It didn’t take long after that for God to wipe out nearly everyone and everything in a massive flood. As a matter of fact, it happens almost right at the beginning of the Bible, in Genesis 6:5, “The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, 26
and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil.”
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Negative thinking is a magnet for MORE negativity!
The Ayes have it...
Life - - - What does it mean to you? How do you deal with the issues of your life whether soaring with delight or in the depths of darkness - - - or maybe issues aren’t your fault or your problem! “The Ayes have it!” Picture yourself among those responding with gusto to these four easily understood words, and thinking to yourself in hearty agreement, ‘Yes!’, gesturing for emphasis, ‘good to go!’ - - - the Ayes have it!
We get the gist of the meaning but how did the saying and its practice come into being? Compelled to look up my computer’s suggestions as to the origin and other most current facts of sifted expertise concerning “the Ayes have it!”, I eagerly entered Webster’s Dictionary. com: the following quite uncluttered page popped up -
Confusing
Eyes Ayes Origin of Aye 1570-1580 ___ ___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ________ origin I, of uncertain g n li el sp r ie 0; earl in 1570 to 178 First recorded sed Can be confu Aye, eye, I.
nary House Dictio m o d an R n o om Based Dictionary .c Check it out for yourself. (If you put yourself into it, you’ll get more out.) So fix your eyes on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18 27
Satan, our accuser
2 Corinthians 4:4 Satan, the god of this evil world, has blinded the minds of those who do not believe, so they are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News that is shining upon them. They don’t understand the message we preach about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God. 2 Corinthians 10:4-8 We use God’s mighty weapons, not mere worldly weapons to knock the Devil’s strongholds. With these weapons we break down every proud argument that keeps people from knowing God. With these weapons we conquer their rebellious ideas, and we teach them to obey Christ. And we will punish those who remained disobedient after the rest of you became loyal obedient. The trouble with you is that you make your decisions on the basis of appearance. You must recognize that we belong to Christ just as much as those who proudly declare that they belong to Christ. I may seem to be boasting too much about the authority given to us by the Lord. But this authority is to build you up, not to tear you down. And I will not be put to shame by having my work among you destroyed.
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A young man once asked me, “Why are you a Christian, Miss Edna?” My reply was quick and thoughtful, “Because I am a thinking person.” Even after we become Christians, we often listen to the “Trash Talk of Satan.” “You are not worth much.” “You have nothing to offer.” “God doesn’t really care about you.” “You are a loser.” That kind of thinking is not coming to you from the one who calls you, “precious and beloved.” Satan, the Accuser wants to discredit us, cause us to doubt, to take no authority over him, or cause us to even doubt our salvation and our calling. If he can take us on a detour or down a wrong path or a poor choice, he will do that. He will do his best to discredit us and cause us to be left on a shelf. He wants us to be the Potter’s failure, not His success.
What do you hear and what do you listen to…and what influences your thoughts?
I cannot live in the past with what I have done. Now, what can God still do with me- a widow, old and used up perhaps…
Before we came to Christ, we only had the old nature going for us and the presence of God and the Holy Spirit had no place in our hearts or our heads…”As a man thinks, so he is.”
No. Caleb claimed his mountain over the age of 80 and I intend to believe that God can and will use me for His glory. I am not going to believe the trash talk that Satan whispers, his partial truths…
I can, I want to, I will, accomplish all that God has planned for me, in the strength He provides, in His timing…
the Church and helping others along the way to come into the fullness of His plan and purpose for their lives and mine.
I look forward to the next few years to see how I will see my Faithful God, direct and use me in building
We are His.
I can’t hear myself thinking...
The cacophony of input into our heads today is dizzying... TV, smartphones, intercom messages as we shop, Sirius anywhere as we travel, there is no “sound of silence” unless we intentionally shut everything off. All that clamor and dissonance tends to drown out the still small voice of the Spirit of God. The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. I Kings 19: 11-13 My quest is to hear that gentle whisper. The voices in my head can lead me to places I really don’t want to go. If I am conscious enough to think I am making my own decisions, I need to think again. Who can be trusted, how can decisions be made, do I react without knowing to unconscious influences?
Those voices in my head are persuasive, dominant, even bullying. I hear the voice of tradition, calling me to follow what is familiar. I sense the voice of knowledge, directing me to assume what is reasonable. I catch the voice of need, pleading to serve myself first. The voices of pleasure and flight call me away. I hear voices of friends and family, demanding my response to their expectations. I resist the voice of pride, setting me above all others. What I don’t hear, in all this communication in my head, is the voice of God. Besides those outward pressures, I have my own imperfection and impulses to deal with. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. And in addition to that danger, there is a very real enemy who stalks me like a lion, waiting for an opportune moment to lie to me when I am most likely to believe him. Oh, for that gentle whisper of truth. The Spirit of God speaks in a different manner. He has a gentle whisper, and it touches my heart rather than my head. He uses the Word of God. He pulls me toward righteousness and love and obedience. His words are powerful, but not obvious. I have to focus, I have to 29
pull my cloak over my face like Elijah, and stand in His presence before I can really hear Him. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. I John 4:13 The voices in my head have to be silenced for me to hear the words of Jesus. It requires submission. It dictates withdrawal from the world if even for a few
moments. He will not enter the fray for my attention, he will not merely shout louder to gain my attention. He requires that I enter His presence, and there I will hear Him. The gentle whisper. Face to face with God on the mountain. He will speak to me.
Unpacking your bags...
This verse or phrase helps me listen to the voice of God.
Underline phrases in the text that are important to you How do negative thoughts affect your attitude and actions toward life?
What or who is talking in your head? Why does it matter?
How can you resist Satan’s accusing voice? What value might there be in recognizing the lies of Satan?
What does it look like for you to hear the still small voice of God?
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Chapter 4- THE VOICES IN MY HEAD
Who am I listening to? Think it over and write it down: How can I listen and know God is speaking?
This way! No- this way
Don’t believe everything you hear. Eve listened to a serpent who beguiled her with tempting words. “You will not surely die. Eat the fruit of God’s forbidden tree and you will see and understand things you can’t imagine!” There is danger in listening to the wrong voices. Paul warned the new believers in Corinth to take heed: I am frightened, fearing that in some way you will be led
Listen to the words of God
away from your pure and simple devotion to our Lord, just as Eve was deceived by Satan in the Garden of Eden. You seem so gullible: you believe whatever anyone tells you even if he is preaching about another Jesus than the one we preach, or a different spirit than the Holy Spirit you received, or shows you a different way to be saved. You swallow it all. 2 Corinthians 11: 2-4 We are living in an age of information, an explosion of facts and ideas that are readily available. Believers are exposed to philosophies and beliefs that are appealing 31
and may seem more appropriate and suitable than the basic principles of God revealed in His Word. Perhaps it is satisfying to some to adopt variant beliefs, giving them a sense of superiority. But there is a danger of gaining a religiosity and losing truth. A basic knowledge of the Bible is so important. An understanding of its construction, its divisions, and its translations is needed as you read. You should never read and research to prove a point of doctrine. Read and research and pray as God speaks through His living Word. You should not use it, but it should teach you. To truly listen to God, learn how the Bible is one unified message. That basic message, told through the ages, is this: God created a people in love, and gave them free will to stray. When they strayed, He provided a way to come home to Him, but it is their choice to accept His love or reject Him. This message is repeated from Genesis to Revelations.
There are some very strange ideas today, science mixed with fantasy to produce new and mysterious “truths”. There are also learned scholars who analyze the Bible as if it is merely interesting and ancient literature. There are religious people who claim special knowledge and insight revealed only to them. Beware! There is going to come a time when people won’t listen to the truth but will go around looking for teachers who will tell them just what they want to hear. They won’t listen to what the Bible says but will blithely follow their own misguided ideas. 2 Timothy 4: 3-4 Listen to the words of God. Listen with your heart. Listen with humility and obedience. Who is wise? Let them realize these things. Who is discerning? Let them understand. The ways of the Lord are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them. Hosea 14:9
Social media and “news”.
Everyone has an opinion and a voice, and social media has taken things to a whole new level of crazy! I have to say it is increasingly difficult for me to know how to live IN this world and not be OF it. Not only that, but how do I know who is really telling the truth anymore? Can you really trust anybody these days? I have pretty much scratched the news from entering too deep in my mind. Everything is so depressing, disastrous, hate filled and divisive. It’s too overwhelming for me. 32
Social media is proving to be even more devastating in many aspects. People are downright mean and ugly, even those claiming to be Christians. It’s very disturbing to me, especially the fact that people are killing themselves over Facebook posts. Really??!! What ever happened to that saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?” When exactly did it become ok to ruin a person’s life because they don’t agree with you or because they don’t “like” you? Is it indeed possible to live in today’s world and avoid listening to, reading about or seeing the depravity of
the world these days? It is easy enough to unfriend someone on FB who consistently offends you, and personally I think you should. Negative, offensive words only lead to negative defensive thoughts.
Thankfully, God made us with brains that are capable of reasoning and souls that have a moral compass. He also created us to be interactive beings, to have relationships with others and particularly himself.
I don’t like it when my mind goes there and besides it doesn’t mesh well with Philippians 4:8. I really like the Amplified version which says, “Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things (center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart.)” We can use that scripture to help us make healthy boundaries for our minds.
There’s nothing wrong with listening to the news, your friends, a counselor, your parents or even your pastor. But the best guidance ALWAYS, DEFINITIVELY, comes from God. If you are seeking truth – go to the source. “I am the way, the truth and the life.” -Jesus
The challenge is very clear Some days I must admit, I really am not hearing much of anything, in fact, sometimes I am just trying to survive the moment. My thinking and feelings are not connected and my choosing and doing are just sitting on the back burner. I have been moving for the 34th time and downsizing from a very large home to a smaller home. I don’t think I am a pack rat, but I certainly have sentimental attachments. I always think someone could use this or someone in the family would also think this is valuable…and then I find out they have no attachment at all and it goes in the pitch area…much to my dismay. My thoughts are not even tuned into reality which means I am numb. I came to the conclusion as I was trying to think
about this section. Who and what influences my thinking? I certainly don’t believe everything I hear and I have to qualify a lot of what the media says….my listening does have to be selective and I do have to be careful to what influences my choices and doing. But my thoughts do take me places I should not be going. Making decisions based on half-truth is dangerous. John 8:31-32 Jesus said to the people who believed in him. “You are truly my disciples if you keep obeying my teaching. And you will know the truth, and the truth, and the truth will set you free… Jesus was trying to get people to understand that when they sinned, they were listening to their father, Satan. Jesus was listening to His Father
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God and trying to bring them into a relationship with God by way of the cross. John 8:47 Anyone whose Father is God listens gladly to the words of God. Since you don’t, it proves you aren’t God’s children. This is so powerful…and identifies what our behavior demonstrates. When we listen to voices that are not consistent with God’s word we had better be careful. Guard your heart, Proverbs tells us. Our lifestyle needs to conform to the image of God. The challenge is very
clear. What we listen to reflects what is going on in our heart and in our emotions. We cannot allow the negative thinking to rob us of walking in obedience. We cannot be Zombies walking around without any direction or listening to thoughts that take us down paths of disobedience and destruction. We have to know the Word and take action to apply it to our daily life. The birds can fly through our hair, but we cannot allow them to build a nest. Our thoughts cannot take up residence in our thinking. Especially if they do not come from God the Holy Spirit.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you
Who and what influences your thinking?
How are you allowing social media to affect your life?
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This verse or phrase will help me determine who is talking in my head...
Chapter 5- THE VOICES IN MY HEAD
Are emotions affecting my thinking? Think it over and write it down: When and how do we evaluate our emotional well being?
This way! No- this way
The impact of emotions
Emotion – “a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.” That’s a nice compact definition. I also like this one, “Any strong agitation of the feelings activated by experiencing love, hate, fear, etc. and usually accompanied by certain physiological changes, as increased heart beat or respiration, and often overt manifestation as crying or shaking.” Hopefully, these definitions will be helpful as we ponder the question, “Are my emotions affecting my thinking?”
The two shortest verses in the Bible are 1 Thessalonian 5:16 which states, “Rejoice always” and John 11:35, “Jesus wept.” It would be easy to miss these. Each are only two words, but they carry such impact it would be a shame to know them only as the shortest verses in the bible. What a powerful statement to rejoice always. Think of the implications that could have on our emotions! Even though weeping and rejoicing aren’t emotions, they are the overt manifestations of them. 35
Let’s not forget those two words, “Jesus wept”. Doesn’t that confirm that God does indeed have feelings? Since we are created in the image of God, as emotional beings, emotions are good, because God is good and perfect. It is the overt manifestations that are not always good because that is when self and self-control plays into the picture. We looked at Galatians 5:22-23 in chapter one, but let’s look at it again from another angle. “But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, against such things there is no law.” The order of these words is very intriguing to me. Could it be God is telling us that love, joy, and peace are the most valued of all emotions? Does he desire us to manifest those emotions to produce patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness? Is it coincidence that self-control is last? It’s interesting that sadness, anger and fear, which are also emotions that we are created with, are not mentioned anywhere in this particular scripture. I
believe God expects to see the positive emotions of love, joy and peace and the manifestations of them listed above, as proof of our changed lives. That’s not to say that we will never experience sadness, anger, fear, or doubt. Jesus wept – and so do we. When we allow our emotions to rule our minds, when we depend on our emotions to rationalize our behavior and when we loose control of our emotions to the point of distorting our view of God, we have then reached the point of denying God’s power to work in our lives. When we let feelings of doubt, fear, jealousy, lust, anger and bitterness fester in our minds and hearts we are without a doubt, providing a foothold for Satan to manipulate these feelings to paralyze us and destroy us and sometimes those around us as well. It’s actually ok to be angry. It’s when we lose our selfcontrol that it becomes an issue. Ephesians 4:26 says, “Don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil.”
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A person will be just about as happy as they make up their minds to be. Abraham Lincoln
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Thinking clearly...
Sometimes I find myself not able to think clearly and my emotions are right on the surface of everything that is going on in my world. So much so, that my thinking is clouded and as a result my choosing and doing are really out there. Yes, emotions do matter. How do I clearly respond to those emotions in a Godly way? Proverbs 21:2 People may think they are doing right, but the Lord examines the heart. We may act on our emotions and our thinking can be really out there but God always knows what the truth is underneath our actions. Children often look you right in the eye and lie, but you as a parent know the truth. I do not want to be deceived and I do not want to deceive others but being deceived by our thinking is part of how the old nature operates in our actions. I want to…. I can do whatever… But WILL I do what is right… based on what the Holy Spirit is telling me I should do? Proverbs 21:3-5 The Lord is more pleased when we do what is just and right than when we give him sacrifices. Haughty eyes, a proud heart, and evil actions are all sin. Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.
As a man thinks…so he is. Proverbs 19:2-3 Zeal without knowledge is not good; a person who moves too quickly may go the wrong way. People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord. Reading the Proverbs has been very convicting for me today. Listening to my own thinking without asking for God’s direction can and has led me to make poor choices. The fall out is never good. I end up thinking more about my poor choice than what was wrong with the thinking that took me to the poor choice. Here are some helpful tools in thinking clearly: • If it is not consistent with the word… re-examine the thinking. • Get wise counsel that might help us sort through the process. • Pray about everything. • Sleep on it…and give it time to really sink in before acting on the decision. • Keep short books with God. Wait for peace.
How do I conform my will to the Father’s will… A significant clue to the condition of my thinking is if I am actually going to obey. 37
The language of our souls-
Emotions often take a front seat in circumstances that are meaningful. When you see a beloved relative you have missed for a long time, rushing to their side and giving a big hug is a great way to express your joy. However, when a disobedient child comes in really, really late and you have been worrying and imagining the worst, your outburst of anger may not be the best way to greet him or her. Should emotions have a part in our decisions and actions? Do we need to control our feelings and if so, when and how can that be done? When we look to our Lord’s years here among us, we see a God/man who had strong emotions at times. He wept with Martha and Mary at the news of the death of Lazarus -even though He knew what would happen next. Jesus seemingly lost it at the sight of the greedy merchants in the temple, and charged at them, physically overturning their carts. That was righteous anger, not selfish ambition. Yet in the Garden of Gethsemane, he restrained Peter and his sword, and allowed Himself to be led away to the court of Caiaphas.
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Jesus loved his disciples, he felt compassion for the multitudes, and he patiently placed his healing hands on the sick and distressed. When the rich young man asked Jesus for eternal life, the Scriptures record these words, “Jesus looked at him and loved him” ( Mark 10:21). Emotions DID have a part in the actions of Jesus. Yet at critical times, Jesus reined in His emotions and His responses. Can we follow His example?
First we realize that positive emotions are an important part of our devotion to God. God desires our love and praise and gratitude. Psalm 36:7 How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. Our community is built up and strengthened with our expressions and actions of love and encouragement and fellowship. 2 Corinthians 9:14 And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Our emotions can propel our deepest prayers. Lamentations 2:19 Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. These are emotions that are rooted in the goodness of God and our obedience to His ways. Not all our emotions are godly. Often our words rush out like a flood, revealing the condition of our sinful hearts. James 3:9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. The only “control” we can hope to exercise over our emotional outbursts is dealing with the issues in our hearts. As we surrender our anger, disappointment, grief, envy, hatred and other destructive conditions to
the healing and transforming power of the Holy Spirit, there will not be a fountain of wrath that spouts out. Luke 6:45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Here is a prescription for emotional well-being: Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building
others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Emotions are the language of our souls. If we want to speak lovingly, we must be loving. If we want to speak wisely, we must understand. If we want to speak of Jesus, our hearts must be overflowing with Him.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you How can we exercise self control over our emotions to either limit or express them?
se phra r o t e vers e abou s i h m ns T hes motio c a e te itive pos
How do I conform my will to the Father’s will?
How can we control our emotions, where do we begin?
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Chapter 6- THE VOICES IN MY HEAD
Processing this Process Think it over and write it down: What tools are you using to get “through it all”?
This wayNo- this way!
How do I process through it all?
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. When encountering an issue or problem in my life, the first step in the process of gettting through it is to face the unpleasant truth. While that may seem obvious, it is not. My inclination is to stuff it, compartmentalize it, bring in a distraction, or change the subject. It takes a while to recognize the full force of what’s going on, then ignore the whiplash, and finally, focus. 1 Peter 4:12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 40
The focus can bring panic. Seriously, smaller problems stir up more stress than the really big ones. I tend to think I can solve my small problems on my own. It is so easy to get all fussed up about little things, and try to manipulate circumstances and other people for the outcome I want. Then when it doesn’t go as planned, the stress sets in. It takes maturity and experience to remember to go to God first and ask for direction and help. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. The really, really big problems are no sweat. I know good and well any solution is beyond me, and it is a
relief to pour out my heart to God and leave it all with him. 1 Peter 3:12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer. When the problem becomes evident to others, the process of working through it becomes more complicated. Usually I get a lot of good advice. The thing is, each family member or friend has a different idea of resolution, then it is back in my lap with way too many options.
Again, it is with great relief to be able to describe the entire situation in prayer, and ask the only One who can really see it all in perspective to give me peace and direction. James 5:13 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.
Sorting through life. Sometimes, I merely stand in awe of what is happening in my life, knowing that I absolutely do not get it,,,in fact, I sometimes ponder the course of events and realize, I know Nothing! I am learning to just trust God and I guess that is the purpose for most of what is happening. I am in the midst of this construction in my home, and it seems ever so slow. Most of the time, I am OK with it but the other day it got to me. I cut myself and wanted a bandaid and realized, I do not know where the band-aids are…I am totally clueless. I don’t even have an idea where I could even start to look. I just sat down and cried. The house is coming along beautifully, but frustration and feeling so totally out of control had gotten to me and I just lost it. Most of the time when we are trying to sort through life we feel those same emotions of frustration and being out of control. The issue of trust enters in, and also the concept of “I want it yesterday and on my terms.” The “I want it NOW” takes over and we aren’t in a very good place.
We also have “sick sifters” and our own “stinkin’ thinkin’”. Not to mention, the expectations we often have that are not even possible. My son is doing the renovations and he says this is the worst house he has ever painted. So why do I get anxious? I do not know. Patient endurance is not my best attribute…not even close. In the Christian realm, I know I am so lacking in many areas. Satan uses my weaknesses to push my buttons, and I am out there…thankfully, God s merciful and gracious and I get a do over. 2 Peter 1:3-11 As we know Jesus better, his divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive his own glory and goodness! And by that same mighty power, he has given us all of his rich and wonderful promises. He has promised that you will escape the decadence all around you caused by evil desires and that you will share in his Divine nature! 41
So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better. Knowing God leads to self-control. Self-control leads to patient endurance and patient endurance leads to godliness. Godliness leads to love for other Christians, and finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive and useful in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
But those who fail to develop these virtues are blind or, at least, very shortsighted. They have already forgotten that God has cleansed them from their old life of sin. So dear friends, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Doing this you will never stumble or fall away. And God will open wide the gates of heaven for you to enter into the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. So I put a piece of a napkin on the hand and told myself, “I don’t think I need to go to the hospital. It is going to get better every day.”
The long process of recycling. It’s amazing to me how five different people can witness the same event or read the same book or hear the same lecture and all come out with different views and comments. Our world, life and spiritual views have been embedded and nurtured throughout our lifetime. At a very young age we learn through example. If your parents loved you, that is often the best platform to build from. But what about the children whose parents told them, “I wish you were never born?” Or the child who witnesses their parent’s abuse, or the child who is the person being abused….sexually, physically or verbally?
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Were you taught to love others or taught to hate and/or fear those who are different than you? Were you taught to be a team player or a loner? Did you learn how to encourage or criticize? These are just a handful of things that will affect the way we perceive what is happening around us. How we process things determines if you are a victim or victor, winner or loser, content or depressed, admiring or jealous, loving or hating.
Recently, I was told that what I consider my ugliest issue is due to my lack of “tools”. I have never learned how to be a gracious loser. In a nutshell, this is what happens in my processing. Jealousy crushes me, which turns into bitterness, which turns into depression. In my mind, because I lost, I am a loser, in the worse sense. Whenever I find myself in a situation where I lack the “tools” to make wise navigating I often find myself going down the road of stinkin’ thinkin’. Unfortunately, that is how my brain has been wired through my lifetime of experiences, lessons and failures. I have made the self taught choice to allow my stinkin’ thinkin’ to take over, which then goes through my sick sifter (as Edna calls it). So when I experience jealousy, the effects are bitterness and depression. However, there is so much more that happens along that ugly path due to my sick sifter. There was a time in my life when I could throw quite the pity party. People would come and feel sorry for me and I would temporarily feel better. It was a horrible
thing when I learned how to turn those pity parties into a “tool” — a tool of self-destruction. I began seeking consolation by being a looser, but when people got sick of my pitiful parties, and me, I unknowingly became a target for victimization. At that point my sick sifter began to work overtime. The words shame and blame were added ingredients to the thoughts that went through my sick sifter. What made things even worse is when I would compare myself to others. That’s almost a guarantee for total self-annihilation. I’ve often gone to the depths of self-loathing and worthlessness.
tells us, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” When I began to read my Bible on a regular basis, reached out for counseling and found a church to regularly attend, I was open for God to work in me.
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Over many years I had accumulated quite an assortment of very heavy baggage. Perhaps the way we process things has a bearing on how much baggage we’re willing to carry and how long we’re willing to carry it and what we think we need to help us endure our load? Something to ponder.
I have witnessed God slowly God leaves us breadcrumbs discard the mountain of trash so we can find our way. that I have built on top of me. When I became willing to release each piece of garbage, God would recycle it to a piece of beauty and heal me. Sometimes I gratefully and willingly give him huge trash bags full. Sometimes my fingers are dug in so deep, I can only pry away one or two things. Sometimes, I’m sad to say, I may go dumpster diving and pick up something that should just stay there!
In my case, God allowed me to carry all the baggage that I chose to pile on myself for as long as I so desired. When I finally reached my breaking point and acknowledged my need for God’s help, he began what has become a long process of recycling. Romans 8:28
And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fox your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8
se phra r o e vers o This e how t God m s t ih tell ate w es and r e p os coo purp s i H in s. esse proc
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you Why do we wait until a situation is desperate before we pray for God’s help?
How does one virtue beginning with patience lead to the development of other virtues?
How can processing be destructive and how can it be reversed?
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Chapter 7- THE VOICES IN MY HEAD
The Word is the Standard Think it over and write it down: Compare the work of Satan to the work of God upon your mind.
This way! No- this way
I believe it. I trust it. We absolutely know that Satan is a force to be reckoned with, but on the other hand, we know that God is greater and Satan has to ask permission to even test us. Job 1:12 God speaking to Satan: “All right, you may test him,” the LORD said to Satan. “Do whatever you want with everything he possesses, but don’t harm him physically.” So Satan left the LORD’s presence. Satan wants to disrupt our lives as Christians in any way he can. He knows the buttons to push and he 44
knows our weakest points but God is with us and He allows testing of His children to deepen our relationship with Him and to also grow our faith. We learn through suffering not to trust in ourselves but to trust in God. 1 Corinthians 1:3-11 All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. You can be sure that the more we
suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. So when we are weighed down with troubles it is for your benefit and salvation! For when God comforts us, it is so that we, in turn can be an encouragement to you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you are suffering you will also share in God’s comfort. I think you ought to know, dear friends, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and completely overwhelmed, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we learned not to rely on ourselves, but on God who can raise the dead. And he did deliver us from mortal danger. And we are confident that he will continue to deliver us. He will rescue us because you are helping by praying for us. As a result, many will give thanks to God because so many people’s prayers for our safety have been answered. These words from the Scriptures give me great comfort in knowing that no matter what I am facing, my God is aware of me and will come to my rescue. He does not set me up to fail. He is the source of my strength. He
provides for me whatever it is that I need daily. Satan is the accuser, the deceiver, divider, destroyer, but I am standing on the Promises of His Word that He is greater than Satan and any power he thinks he has…his day of judgment is coming. I am counting on God’s faithfulness to his people, and his Word to take me through each and every day. Through it all, I KNOW HE IS FAITHFUL. When he tells me in his Word that He will never leave or forsake me, I believe it. I trust it. I base my life on His comfort and assurance that what he says, He will do. 2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives, it straightens us out and teaches us to do what is right. Ps. 18:30 As for God, his way is perfect. All the LORD’s promises prove true….
Choose truth by faith. John 18- Jesus said, ‘My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.’ ‘You are a king, then!’ said Pilate. Jesus answered, ‘You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.’ ‘What is truth?’ retorted Pilate.
We live in a society of conflict and self-indulgence. We are surrounded by individuals, not families or community. Anarchy is on the horizon. Situation ethics reign. Tolerance for evil seeps through mankind, seeking to justify one’s own lifestyle and choices and infecting the whole. Truth has been demoted to Everyman’s personal declaration. Romans 1:21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were 45
darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools...
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
The voices in our head in loud discord shout, “Here is truth...” Facts are subjectively used as foundations for viewpoints and values. The very same set of facts are used to prove opposite sides of an argument, and whoever is speaking the loudest becomes the authority for the moment.
Isaiah 45:19 I, the Lord, speak the truth; I declare what is right.
In all this confusion in our heads, we have these choices. We can listen to the noise and bend with the most persuasive, or with the one that benefits us the best. Or we can listen with intent to decipher truth from facts and attempt to make an honest judgment. 1 Corinthians 3:18 Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become ‘fools’ so that you may become wise. As we seek for truth and direction in our decisions, there is another choice. We can choose truth by faith. We can choose to turn our minds and hearts toward God, believing that He is truth. John 14:6 Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. As believers, we have the Holy Spirit to help us walk the paths of truth.
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John 16:13 But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. As believers, we have the Word of God. Don’t think of that as a book of history or instruction. Read it as if the Almighty God himself was standing before you, speaking to you. The Bible is just that, God’s spoken Word to the people He created and loves.
“But I don’t understand the Bible”, you might say. Then make it your lifelong goal to become familiar with this narrative of truth. Begin with small sections. Memorize meaningful verses. Study with others and guidebooks. Read every day if you can, read through the entire book in a year. As you accumulate the words and phrases and concepts and stories of the Bible, the Holy Spirit will recall to your mind just what you need at the time you need it. Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Deuteronomy 11:18-21 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the door-frames of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many Make a resolution that you will ALWAYS open the book throughout your lifetime. Psalm 1: 1-3 Blessed is the man ... whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water. Flourish in almighty truth.
Your personal “Evite”
The Word is the truth. If you don’t know it your mind is Satan’s playground.The Word is what transfigures us. “I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH and THE LIFE.”
ou vite for Y E l a n o s A per or Delve”
le To “Dabb es of the Ag y THE Part e – will) n o ho is any w – e n o (Every ffers: ing Best O d’s Amaz s– rl o W r e Th es, no ule boundari o n s, it m No li e broken) made to b (they are • Fame • Beauty • Wisdom • Power deserved! ! ’ve always u o y t a h ys wanted st w u’ve alwa o y t a You get ju h w st n have ju nt, you ca If you wa ded one exclu ite — no -v E E! r u L o y set for IF ers with red – Be u Bring oth ss a ” n o ti ansforma ain “Total Tr - will rem n’t, won’t a c , e m a ar, sh d to be trace of fe re destine rs – not a a to u c o y fa R sk A tive No ri the ST proof posi Shine like vailable – a s y a lw a SELFIES m, ry but I a r Adversa u o y e m Some call cifer
ly. Yours tru
All claims verified by scripture/ Holy Bible – any version . Remember: TOLERANCE – what may be true for you – not for me. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood… but against powers of this dark world…” Ephesians 6 “When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the Father of lies.” John 8:44
Lu
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When facts turn into question marks I find it fascinating that people have been trying to define truth for thousands of years. It is and has been a major topic for philosophers for just as long. Why is it of such importance? Why have so many spent their lives trying to define it? We hear of people not only grasping for truth, but clawing and digging for the truth, as if it is a buried elusive treasure. But guess what? I have found the truth! It’s not buried, but I did have to seek for it. The journey to find it can be overwhelming, especially if you can’t tell friend from foe. It’s such a simple thing that is so clearly spelled out, that when we rely on our intellect and reasoning we can often find the facts and reality of it turning into a blurry question mark.
one can come to the Father (God) except through me.” John 14:6 “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 Isn’t that what we’re all looking and hoping for? So simple.
But here is how facts and reality turn into that blurry question mark. Jesus has an adversary — Satan, who also goes by many names. Accuser, Destroyer, Deceiver, Murderer, Tempter, Thief and…Angel of Light…just to name a few. Satan is actually an angelic being whose name is Lucifer. He was created as the highest ranking angel with extraordinary beauty and power, but he succumbed to arrogance and Let me tell you what I know as truth We can’t allow our minds decided he wanted to be above God. As a in my life — Jesus, the Son of God. result, he was thrown out of heaven due to to camp out at the He had such an impact on history that his sin and became completely opposed rest stop. things are dated B.C. (before Christ) and to God. His poor choices literally have A.D. (Anno Domini) in the year of our Lord. There are paved the highway to hell that has the ability to mesmerize hundreds of prophecies written about Jesus way before he and capture unbelievable amounts of souls with the allure was “born” that have been fulfilled. The odds of any one of fame, fortune and power. He will do anything and person achieving this is very, very, very, VERY high. So everything in his power to thwart God and those who high, there is no other “person”, other than Jesus, who can follow him. claim this feat. Hundreds and thousands eye witnessed his miracles and hundreds claimed to have seen him after his There’s a song called “Sympathy For The Devil” by the death and resurrection. He goes by many names — Lord, Rolling Stones that paints a picture of this worldly, refined Master, Light of the World, Alpha and Omega, Advocate, guy and a master of head games. As one sings along with Bread of Life, I Am, Good Shepherd, Redeemer and… the lyrics it’s easy to believe that this guy can’t be that bad TRUTH…just to name a few. because I’m actually a little like him. And that my friend is exactly where he wants you! There is a dark side, there is Jesus told him, “I am the way, the TRUTH and the life. No evil, there is a fallen angel called Satan.
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Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 8:5 Satan is having a heyday convincing people to believe accusations as truth and creating division and chaos
in families, politics and the world. We have turned our backs on God in the United States and no longer are we “One nation under God” and without him there is no liberty or justice at all.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you Why does it take so long to ask for prayer when our thoughts are so out of tune with God?
How does God use his Word to speak to you?
This verse or phrase will remind that God’s Word is my standard of truth.
What might cause you to accept an evite from Satan?
If you are still seeking for truth, ask God to reveal it to you.
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SECTION THREE
One Size Does Not Fit All Think it over and write it down: How do you deal with people who are very different than yourself?
TRUCKS- ly Right lane on
Leave the lids off the containers...
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Why is it so important for so many to have everything in life compartmentalized? We work our way into a certain economic bracket, we belong to a particular generation, we support a defined political view, many strive for a higher social status, some hop from one church to another, and even religion to religion. Do these compartments define us or are we searching for a place to fit in? Perhaps it’s a little of both?
boxes that we are comfortable with. We ask questions like, “What do you do for a living? Are you part of a fraternity, sorority, guild or gang? What religion are you? Where do you live? Where did you go to high school?” You can’t avoid it. We all assess each other by our looks, our financial status, our skills, our personality, the people we hang with and the things we own.
It can be very frustrating to find that clique that accepts you, or that job that gives you a sense of self-worth or that person that “completes you.” One of the things I’ve learned in life is anything that involves people will either disappoint you or hurt you at some point during the fitting in process. Which all goes back to compartmentalization. We want people to fit into the
As long as I can remember, I’ve always been a creative type. I’ve been drawn to the beat of a different drummer. It has been a blessing and a curse. I guess I am one of those rounds pegs that don’t fit in the square hole. But, whether we want to admit it or not, everyone wants to feel like they fit in somewhere; that we belong to someone, or something. We seek and
need validation, acceptance and love. It’s important to find a community where we can experience these things in us that are wired for connection. So, even if we tend to compartmentalize our lives to give us a sense of structure, or step into a box of like minded people, or circle ourselves with religion, I hope that we can leave the lids off of the containers because when we live in darkness we’re unable to see
what’s actually there. Think on this, Matthew 5:14, You are the light of the world — like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. When we keep things contained, we so limit the potential possibilities. If you’ve found that you’ve placed the people in your life in a box of your making, by all means, TAKE THE LID OFF! Especially if you have put God in one. Let God’s light shine through you for all to see!
When one size DOES fit all... Life: observations from real life experiences tend to validate the truth of the premise — one size does NOT fit all! Some things that are labeled “one size fits all”… obviously don’t. So clearly obvious — unless you don’t want or feel the need to try it on to find out (just another annoying waste of your time)…or… • If some of your friends are “bigger than life” Texans (not geographically!)…i.e. big cowboy boots, big hats, big purses and BIG ideas! • If some of your friends [and you] crave food and drink — palate-pleasers professing the mantra “what do you feel like eating?” Who are you expecting to give an answer?…your friends?…your stomach? • If you live to eat (not so much the other way around) • If you like to be liked by those you like and maybe a few others you label o.k. by your grid • If you act only a little bit selfish and (with reason!) and a little bit greedy (very essential for getting your fair share!) • If you are tantalized to buy “good stuff ” — just
enough to cover over when appearance demands altering…of course — you deserve it! O-u-c-h! What just hit me in the head? Hey! That really hurts…(obviously struggling)…You seem to have morphed to ME…generic you to specific ME. I’m tagged and guilty…I get it! So I do love the gift of “wiggle-room”…like moving stuff around (if only in my mind)…just a little lie — o.k.?…Like — it works and I feel better!…no one notices…so what’s the big deal?…(rubbing head tenderly)…only a little lie. Does stretching the truth really cause headaches?…seriously?…After all, one size does NOT fit all…or does it? The punch that hurt was delivered over the airwaves by apologist Ravi Zacharias — “You are heading for big trouble when you can define good and evil without God.” You must not lie. The Living Bible — Exodus 20:16 51
Join with me in being part of Christ’s body. God says, “We are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made.” When I think about how no two snowflakes are the same and then I think of how we who are made in the image of the Trinity are unique and special and designed by the Creator God…Jesus, I am more and more amazed. The only constant we have or the only thing we have in common is the fact that we are all created in Their image. Genesis 1:26-27 Then God said, “Let us make people in our image, to be like ourselves. They will be masters over all life –the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the livestock, wild animals, and small animals.” So God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself, male and female he created them.
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Colossians 1:15-23 Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before God made anything at all You were born an original. and is supreme over all Don’t die a copy. creation. Christ is the one through whom God created everything in heaven and earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see.—Kings, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities. Everything has been created through him and for him. He existed before everything else began, and he holds all creation together. Christ is the head of the church, which is his body. He is the first of all who will rise from the dead, so he is first in everything. For God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ, and by him God reconciled everything
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to himself. He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of his blood on the cross. This includes you who were once so far away from God. You were once his enemies, separated from him by your own thoughts and actions, yet now he has brought you back as his friends. He has done this through his death on the cross in his own human body. As a result, he has brought you into the very presence of God, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault. But you must continue to believe this truth and stand in it firmly. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News. The Good News has been preached all over the world, and I, Paul, have been appointed by God to proclaim it. Generally, “One Size Doesn’t fit All”…is true, but when we think of the gospel and what Christ has done for all of us…we see that his death on the cross and his payment for our sins does satisfy the justice of God… and we are all able to come under that covering of forgiveness and acceptance… The question being, what will you do with Jesus. That has to be what we all must acknowledge and deal with individually, as who we are, and in our personal lives. Christ’s gift to us of eternal life is for us as individuals and yet it is for everyone. So His Gift is for all of us, but we individually must accept His provision and His gift to us personally. I cannot accept salvation for you, I can only accept salvation for me, but salvation is for both of us. Isn’t this just so amazing! I can hardly think about it as it
hurts my head…simple faith on your part and mine to believe and receive His great gift….and then forever we will ever be with Him. One Size Doesn’t Fit All. For the most part that statement is true, but not pertaining to the gift of salvation. God may seem unfair, and that is true to some degree because God is just. We cannot humanize God by wanting him to be fair. We want God to be true to his character and we want him to be just.
For God so loved the World, all of us. He knows those who will choose him, and he chooses us based upon the fact we will indeed open up our individual lives to him for salvation and eternal life. He is preparing a place for each of us, but it will be for each of us personally. That is so over the top and so like our faithful and true God. Join with me in being part of His body. You can be your part and I will be my part but we each are necessary to be our separate parts so we can be diversified and still in unity.
We were created on purpose. The commonality of humankind is basic. We are thrust into this earth by no will of our own. We did not create ourselves. We did not choose our parents or our families. We did not choose to be born where we were born, which city or town, which country, or which continent. We had no input into our hair colors, skin colors or the height and build of our frames. We did not select our level of intellect, the traits of our personality or the ability to whistle. We live. We die. In these things we all share our humanity. Picture in your mind the mass of humankind from creation to the 21st century. When viewed as a mass, we might resemble ants; inconspicuous, unimportant, valueless. God, the great “I Am” God, who was and is and is to come, has a different perspective of the mass of humankind. He does not see a manufactured series of generations or a chaotic cancerous growth of human
life. He sees us, one by one, each a unique being expressly formed and breathed into with His own breath. He looks on us and loves us, miserable helpless little things that we are. He sees beyond the fallen flesh, the decaying body, the rebellious heart, and sees what we are meant to be. Sarah’s servant, Hagar, must have thought herself an ant. She ran into the desert to escape persecution and laid down near a spring, alone and without hope. The angel of the Lord found her there and talked with her and told her to return to Abraham’s camp. Remarkable! God looked over the whole world of people and singled out a sobbing servant girl. He had formed her and borne her to life, chosen her and now He spoke to her. Hard words indeed that she heard; for God does not make light of truth. But Hagar had been lifted from desperation to direction. She responded with these insightful words: 53
She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” Genesis 16:13 We are not ants, unless our heads are buried in the dirt and we believe we are ants. When we see God, when we believe Him and understand His love and His grace, our view of ourselves changes. We no longer think, “I am just one ant among a billion others”, but instead realize, “I am a child of the living God”. We were created on purpose. The apostle Paul explained it this way:
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you How do you know if you’ve put God in a box?
Why is it important to you to fit in?
What is preventing you from accepting God’s gift of salvation?
How does your life show that God sees you and values you?
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From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring. Acts 17:26-28 Exceptional. You are exceptional; and so am I.
This verse or phrase will remind me how I am exceptional.
Chapter 8 ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL
How do I fit in?
Think it over and write it down: Although God accepts us as we are, is there something about yourself you’d like changed?
ONE WAY
Since about third grade, I have been trying to figure out how to fit in. Since my mind wasn’t capable of analyzing much at that young age, I just pretty much let my mom control my life for me. Not much different than most people, I suppose. However, it was different than a lot of people. I was raised immersed in the arts. When I was eight I was cast as Gretl in “The Sound of Music.” The venue was the Muny, which is the nation’s oldest and largest outdoor musical theatre with chairs for 11,000 spectators. It was quite an experience that I enjoyed several times throughout my childhood and performed next to many famous actors along the way. The shows are in the summer so when it was time to go back to school that first time it seemed like
Why was I put on this planet? everyone was treating me differently. I didn’t think I was different, but everyone else thought I was. As the years passed, I took dance lessons, singing lessons, piano lessons, did some modeling and continued performing in different theaters. For the most part it was pretty much fun. I was comfortable with people controlling my life and telling me what to do, how to act and what to wear. But, at some point, probably about seventh or eighth grade, the perfect storm began to brew. It was a strange combination of things that caused my rise to stardom to tailspin into a crash landing. I was no longer the #1 choice. There were others who were more talented, cuter, or better suited.
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I was at a juncture when many things were changing and I was seeking answers to life. Who the heck was I and why was I put on this planet? Perhaps everyone asks those very questions at some point in life? Thankfully, God answered those questions for me with a surprisingly easy answer all compacted into one verse. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 However, my analytical mind has a hard time believing I’m a masterpiece and how exactly do I fit in to do those good things? (I can’t stand it when I do that.) So let’s say I was to create a piece of art trying to depict how God sees me. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t do it because God is so “other” than me. My efforts would be futile. God is able to use the mess that I created and turn it into a masterpiece, something good! I don’t need to know how, all I need to know is he does it because he loves me, and he planned that beautiful mess so everyone could see how glorious HE is. It really has very little to do with me.
The question of fitting in has the same answer. It’s not all about me. When I am created anew in Christ I must die to myself. So the main thing is not to do good things to glorify myself, but to do good things to glorify God. That means I don’t have to try to fit in. God is in control and he is able to easily set the round peg in the square hole, if that’s where he chooses it to be. When I say I can’t, he says he can. Nonetheless, it will become a problem when we say we won’t. Then we’re slamming the brakes on God resulting in a feeble attempt to control a situation…or try to ignore it all together. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. The choice is ours. Surrendering control is scary, but when we come to understand the one to whom we are surrendering to, we can rest assured He is faithful. Allow God to be your fit. You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. Psalm 16:11
Jesus recognizes the faith of the unnoticed. There aren’t many people who choose the hermit life. We love to be accepted and enjoy the interaction of friends or family. We don’t want to eat dinner alone. Sometimes it is a struggle to “belong”. This is obvious 56
in a school setting. Kids naturally divide into groups of like-minded interests. I remember moving to St. Louis in the second month of the school year in the ninth grade from a very small town where the entire high school population was less than 200. My new
high school was about 2000. I quietly walked the halls between classes, watching all the teens laughing and sharing, and was as unnoticed as a number on a locker. Some personalities just bubble over into others’ lives. Some sit motionless in their containers until they are picked up and poured out. We “fit in” to our society in much different ways. If we seemingly don’t “belong”, we don’t need to judge ourselves by the standards of social group or clique. We still “fit in” by being the bystander, the one on the outskirts. Sometimes God plans it that way. Think of this story. Jesus was in the height of his ministry, attracting crowds of people who listenened to his amazing words and watched him place his healing hands on the sick, the paralyzed, and even the dead. At one particular gathering Jesus was literally enveloped by a crushing crowd of seekers and admirers. At the outer edge of this boisterous mob was a woman. A very sick woman, who could not mingle among the strong arms and tall statures in the crowd. But wait- as Jesus turned a corner, he was right there, near her. She didn’t have the courage or the strength to call out to him. But as he and his disciples went by, she reached out and touched the edge of Jesus’ cloak. “Who touched me?” Jesus stopped and looked around. His disciples looked at him with sarcasm. “There are hundreds of people around you, pushing and shoving! Who knows?” Luke 8: 46-48 But Jesus said, ‘Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.’ Then the
woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.’ The woman on the outskirts of the group not only found healing and peace, but the crowd learned a valuable lesson. They didn’t need to push themselves on Christ to be noticed. Jesus recognizes the faith of the unnoticed, and responds lovingly to each seeker, no matter their standing in society, their distance from him, or their need.
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Sometimes we do “fit in”. There the way are other stories. There were I am... friends who brought a sick man on a stretcher and lowered him through the roof to Jesus, the sisters of Lazarus who sent a messenger to Jesus when their brother was ill, the tight circle of the disciples listening and learning the truths of Jesus in an upper room. They all “belonged” in a sense, and could access the wonders of the man of God. Then there was this other example; the woman on the outside. She also had access to him through her faith. So... how do we “fit in” where we interact with others? In many ways, and even on the fringe. Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
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Everyone fits in perfectly Dialogue of Human with God (All humans do it…or want to!) Imagine listening in to the words and thoughts of The Being who is known as the Living Word…he calls himself the only son of God…and he says, I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you would know my Father as well. John 14:6, 7a The Living Bible Human: [taking an annoyed deep breath] Let’s get on with it…How do I fit in? I’ve been asking myself that question for quite some time… You certain you have an answer that truly works?… So How do I fit in? You can just take one word at a time…if the whole thing is too big for you. Hurry up! — How do I fit in? Deity: Perfectly…though perhaps not quite yet…it seems to me your “life experiences” have transformed your reality of truth, and deformed the obvious reality of truth…you’ve moved from almost convinced to totally confused. I think you’ve been told before my ways are not your ways – they are higher Human: [breaking in] You definitely have a point with the first part but, [thinking he’s about to nail God he continues] maybe you just haven’t experienced that life is not fair…not fair and not equal, and security is scarce – all but disappeared from life! 58
(Human has begun a contrary protesting flood by shaking the head in believable disbelief.) Well, there does seem to be an overflowing gush of words about love and sin…which definitely don’t fit together… indeed not! [head still protesting too] Deity: [Taking a calming and assuring breath] Easy — as you suggested — one thing at a time. Here’s a check list for you. For your eyes only…are you good to go? Human: I already said, let’s get on with it. Is there anything you don’t understand about that? Deity: [Generously engaged] Speak for yourself. Check as many or few as you desire. Do you feel: alone? ____ afraid? ____ unlovable? ____ insecure? ____ lied to? ____ cheated? ____ easily offended? ____ angry? ____ valid rights and reasons not to forgive? ____ fearful of others discovering the failure(s) you’ve worked so diligently to cover up…forever? ____ despondent? ____ depressed? ____ discouraged? ____ despairing? ____ I can’t live this way any longer? ____ (Silence)
My word is complete — listen to it. Deity – Jesus revealed: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30 NLB Think about this: Some things you can’t know for certain without letting God be God in your life. He has always planned from before creation that everything — and
everyone fits in…perfectly. He fulfills His intention(s)… perfectly. Enjoy a Life of fitting in… Rest, restart, and Live! To consider: Not another “pat answer” Jesus is faithful to everything He has ever said. Jesus is faithful to everyone He has ever loved… The TRUTH personified!
Satan’s footholds.
One of Satan’s footholds that he uses in our lives is to have us compare ourselves with one another. That takes us down a path of discontentment and brings us to the place where we see our faults and failures. Or it discourages us into thinking we have no worth, that we can’t do anything right. Or lastly, the result that really is not good, we feel totally devalued. We have the situation of God choosing the king to replace Saul and He sends Samuel out to find him an anoint him for the position of King of Israel. Samuel was afraid to go and anoint anyone for fear that Saul would have him killed, so under the pretense of going to offer a sacrifice with Jesse and his family, he goes. Jesse introduces all of his handsome young sons, and one by one, Samuel thought he would be the chosen one, but none of them were selected. But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at
the heart.” Samuel asked Jesse if that was all of his sons and Jesse replied, “There is still the youngest out watching sheep.” Of course, when this shepherd son was brought before Samuel, it was David, God’s chosen one. And I love the teaching in James 2: My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised
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those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him to whom you belong? God’s perspective for us is to realize that God sees us as individuals. He values and loves each one of us. His view of his children is so far from the view that the world has of one another and even our view of each other and ourselves. He gives us validation and purpose. James 4:10 When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor. I never got to be very tall. I spent years bemoaning the fact that the cupboards were always too high. Most of my life
I spent being concerned about how being short was not a good place. Then I remembered about Zacchaeus who was a short man and climbed a tree in order to see Jesus. Jesus knew exactly where he was and invited himself home with him for a meal and the life of Zacchaeus was never the same. God values us based on His faithfulness and goodness. Each of us are special to him and he delights in all of his children. Jealousy, resentment, feelings of no self-worth, our thoughts about others being better, none of those thoughts come from God. They are Satan’s footholds used to rob us of our peace and joy. We are as special as our finger prints. Each different.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you
This verse or phrase will remind you how you might “fit in”
What is God’s purpose for you and how can you fulfill it?
How does improving your inward appearance affect your “fitting in”?
How can you access God’s favor in your life?
Why do we doubt our importance to God?
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Chapter 9 ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL
How can I be content? Think it over and write it down: Why do we spend so much time and money trying to be content?
Why is contentment so evasive?
ONE WAY
Let the good times roll! Oh my, life changes and in the midst of it all…are we stressed, waiting for the shoe to fall, or do we find that sweet place that I call peace and contentment? The steps of the godly are directed by the LORD. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will not fail, for the LORD holds them by the hand. Psalm 37:23-24 And also, The LORD saves the godly; he is their fortress in times of trouble. The LORD helps them, rescuing them from the wicked. He saves them and they find
shelter in him. Psalm 37:39-40 When I stop trying to compare myself with others, when I wait patiently, when I look at what I have rather than what I do not have, when I walk in Truth…my life is in such a good place. Worry is sin, and takes us in all kinds of directions, it disrupts our peace…and robs us of our joy. I have been living in the midst of “Home Improvements,” and it has been a little bit chaotic 61
to say the least but in the midst of it all, I have enjoyed being with my son who is doing the home improvements, we have laughed a lot. We lose our phones, our keys, our dust pans and even our coffee cups, but through it all, we also have made decisions and found common ground in doing my little home together. I don’t actually do any work, but I feel included in all of the decisions. I have missed my Mom during this time and as we have placed many of her things in the house it gives me a strong sense of her and the many years we spent together. I know she is safe in the presence of Jesus and that her new home is where she has longed to be. This home is just a transitional home, and the 34th time for me to move…I am reminded daily of how important it is to be looking forward to the return of
my Savior and knowing that he is preparing a place for me to be with him forever in eternity. In the meantime, I am living the good life of safety and peace. The contentment is truly a gift and the opportunity to learn to TRUST HIM in all circumstances. So…..Let the good times roll. Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you! This kind of peace only comes in total trust…and allowing the Holy Spirit to be our constant and listening to the promptings he has for us as we mingle down here on this earth waiting for our reunion of Jesus and our family and friends. Even so…come, Lord Jesus!
This infinite abyss can be filled only with... God Himself. The thing about contentment is, it doesn’t seem to last very long. We spend so much time trying to achieve happiness and satisfaction through the things we own, where we live, how we look, our jobs, our hobbies and on and on. I wonder if that is humanities overall goal in life — to be content? To be happy and satisfied? Sounds like a perfectly good goal. However, what I have observed, and experienced is, once we have achieved that level of satisfaction, for some reason we feel we need to go to the next level, and the next and on and on. When we seek satisfaction and happiness through the things the world has to offer, fulfillment is always temporary and fleeting. 62
Blaise Pascal wrote, “What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself.” It wasn’t until I was about 50 that I finally began to understand and really experience contentment. I wish I could have learned earlier but apparently I choose to
do things the hard way and maybe I’m a little stubborn as well. What I learned was that I would never be at peace with myself, others or God until the things I had put my trust in to bring me happiness were take away. On my journey towards contentment, in a period of six months I found out my husband of 25 years was having an affair with a “friend” of mine I’d known for 20 years. I also lost my job, totaled my red Mustang convertible, temporarily lost most of my hearing, was forced to leave our house, received papers for divorce and launched a new career. Do you think God wanted my undivided attention? He was telling me He is enough. God wanted me to fully trust him, to relinquish control and know that he is faithful and that he is the main thing. After I was divorced it was the first time for me to live by myself. I was self-employed in a field that was totally new to me. I didn’t understand how to manage money and unfortunately neither did my ex. It was revealed to me during the divorce that we had over $40,000 of debt on 25 credit cards. I had no clue. I never even used any of those cards and didn’t know what any of the debt
was contributed to. Nonetheless, I was responsible for paying off 50% of that unknown debt. To make a long story short, I managed to pay off more than half, and then the economy tanked which nearly killed my business. I found myself using my one credit card to survive. One month, I didn’t have enough money to pay my rent so I had to sell my sterling silverware and some jewelry. Not a fair deal at all! The man gave me less than the amount of one place setting for the whole set of eight. It was sad, humiliating and a finality to the marriage gone bad. However, I managed to get enough money to pay the rent. God provided what I needed, when I needed it and nothing more. I know that because God is faithful I can be content in Him, with a little or a lot. “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need.” Philippians 4:11-13
The great incentive of discontent leads nowhere. The exasperating book of Ecclesiastes is often avoided as depressing and hopeless. “Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!” The meaning of life is analyzed through the perspectives of pleasure, wealth, work, wisdom, foolishness, and the passage of time. His conclusion is that man is never content with what he has, and is always striving for something more:
Ecclesiastes 1:8 All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing. Solomon lived life to the fullest. He was wise. He was rich. He was powerful. He was driven to find the meaning of life. He wasn’t easygoing, patient, or content. He wrote from experience as well as from observation. His words of wisdom ring true:
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ON WEALTH 5:10 Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless. 11 As goods increase, so do those who consume them. ON WORK 4:8 There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. ON WISDOM 1:18 The greater my wisdom, the greater my grief. To increase knowledge only increases sorrow. Solomon concluded that man’s frantic and compulsive drive to achieve something, whether it was a worthy goal or a personal desire, always ended the same -in death and meaninglessness. The great incentive of discontent leads nowhere. In great contrast, Solomon carefully wove into his dissertation a source of hope that dissipates despair.
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Mayhem and chaos are not fruits of the Spirit!
2:24 A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? 26 To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness. We find contentment in our trust in God. We find peace
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in our knowledge of God. We find meaning to our lives in our love of God. We learn that God has created us, knows us, and has carefully placed us in place and time. Acts 17:26-28 From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ As we each live our unique experience on this earth, we can be content as a child of God. Whatever our lot in life, whatever the heartbreaks, the failures, the accomplishments, the weariness, whatever. We have a deep and abiding peace and contentment that transcends circumstances. And we know that: 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: Has life been hard? Are you discouraged, tired, and done with it all? Take a deep breath, look around you and realize how temporary this life is. And... 9:7 So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this! Heaven is not that far away, and you will be there as God’s trusting child. That’s contentment.
All the stuff that demands your attention Content or content- no, they’re not the same word… although you can’t have one without the other in your life. Content or content? The meaning depends upon where YOU put the emphasis! Your Life… Your choice. It honestly makes an inescapable difference for your life! Believe it…or not… Definition of content oneself with (from current online Merriam Webster Dictionary) To be satisfied with (something that is less than or is different from what one really wants): to accept something as being enough. The rainy weather spoiled our plans for the beach, so we had to content ourselves with a relaxing day at home. To clarify the meaning of the content of your life: It is all the stuff and things that demand your focused attention…the trade-off for sabotaging your plans and desires to really live your dreams during your lifetime on this earth. Q and A (Personal Evaluation): 1. Does being content really matter to you? Why or why not? 2. “Enough is enough!” “No I’m not content in this world…I’m too exhausted to think…” How might these words mirror yours?
3. What has caused you to think or express the words…”Enough is enough!”? 4. When and where have you experienced “over-thetop” beauty or compelling adventure that made your heart actually beat faster? Was this able to make you content? 5. How might your response to a wonderfully compelling opportunity or change have a radical lasting effect on your life or attitude? 6. What might be required of you to give or get…in exchange for becoming content? 7. Why must content triumph over content in lieu of the definition above? Your choice Believe it…or…not God has deliberately chosen to use ideas the world considered foolish and of little worth in order to shame the people considered by the world as wise and great. 1 Corinthians 1:27 I have learned the secret of being content in every situation. Excerpt from Philippians 4:11-13 P.S. Questions may be asked as often as you dare — Dare to live free…from other human strings purposed to control you and your life! 65
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you What would it take to be content with God’s provisions?
Where do you find contentment?
In times of chaos, how does worry keep you from being content?
How does the content of your heart affect your contentment?
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This verse or phrase reminds me to be content.
Chapter 10 ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL
Conforming to Whose Image? Think it over and write it down: What affects the image you have of yourself and how does that pressure you to conform?
The secret is obedience
ONE WAY
I am amazed at how much God loves us and values us. We are all made in His image but how do we really view ourselves?
belong to Him, and He delights in me. How far short I fall when it comes to being Christlike. I think, “Who, me? Are you talking about me?”
Psalm 8:3-9 When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars you have set in place. What are mortals that you should care for us? For you made us only a little lower than God, and crowned us with glory and honor. You put us in charge of everything you made, giving us authority over all things - the sheep and the cattle, the fish in the sea, and everything that swims in the ocean currents. O LORD, our Lord, the majesty of your name fills the earth.
I know what I am and I know when I blow it, when my thoughts are not godly, and when I want God to take revenge on someone else but to excuse my own sin. How is any of the old nature like Christ? It isn’t like him, that’s for sure. Goodness doesn’t just flow from me without the work of the Holy Spirit taking me beyond that old nature.
We are to be conformed to His image. This is so beyond anything I can really wrap my head around. I
That verse is so key. When we rely upon Him and not ourselves, He comes alongside of us and helps us in the
Isaiah 40:29 He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak.
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areas that are not like him. He calls us to holiness, and His righteousness is our resource. Isaiah 55:6-9 Seek the LORD while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near. Let the people turn from their wicked deeds. Let them banish from their minds the very thought of doing wrong! Let them turn to the LORD that he may have mercy on them. Yes, turn to our God for he will abundantly pardon. My thoughts are completely different from yours, says the Lord, And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
When my desire is to be like him is really in my heart, he shows up and demonstrates the way I should go, the ways I should behave. The secret is really in my desire to be obedient to the one I can trust and who loves me so much. What are mortals that you should care for us? He does care, and this is what pursues my heart, brings conviction and helps me to move to the next level. Edna, do you love me? Yes. Edna, do you really love me? Yes, you know I do. Then walk in it for your peace and my glory.
Gaining spirituality is a disruptive experience The pure aim of a believer is to be transformed from a earthly mug of self indulgence to a shining goblet into which God can pour his spirit. Somehow that goal drips slowly from our lives into our personal pool of diversions. It is just too difficult, to aesthetic for the realities of busy lives. The little story, “Hinds Feet on High Places” was written in the mid fifties by English author Hannah Hurnard. It is perhaps too introspective and impractical for today’s readers, but blazes a brave path into the subject of pursuing Christian maturity. The book follows the painful journey of “Much Afraid” in quest of God’s high places. She hates her circumstances, but is afraid to seek 68
another path. She was ready to hear these words from Romans 12:2. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will. The Good Shepherd helps “Much Afraid” begin her journey and then disappears as she picks her way through crooked paths. That is not what she expected. The Shepherd gives her two guides, “Sorrow” and “Suffering”, then her journey begins. 2 Corinthians 3:18 And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into
his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. “Much Afraid” faces many difficulties, dangers, and temptations along her journey. She must learn that attaining the “High Places” is a process. Romans 5:3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. As she becomes discouraged and disoriented, she learns that pain and failure are steps to her goal. Hebrews 12:11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. “Much Afraid” has a long and winding path that ultimately leads to her sacrificing everything. She wakens in the High Places and is given a new name, “Grace and Glory”. “Sorrow” and “Suffering” are now known as “Joy” and “Peace”.
Philippians 3:21 who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Sometimes it seems that our American brand of Christianity has been polluted to allow a new believer to continue living just as he always has. We deny suffering and pain and failure have any place in the believer’s experience. We chase personal goals and our own success. We are blinded to the work of God. We think that Christian maturity is a state of comfort and security anchored in our circumstances. Instead, God’s Word teaches us that gaining spirituality is a disruptive experience that includes loss, humility, danger and self-sacrifice. Was that not the story of in incarnate Christ? Did not Jesus walk with “Sorrow” and “Suffering”. Conforming to the image of Christ requires ... Matthew 22:37 Jesus replied: ‘“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” There is no room left for self.
He has refashioned me many times
Conform is one of those words that make my claws want to pop out — good thing, I guess, I don’t have any! I have never liked the idea of “behaving according to socially acceptable standards and expectations.” Doesn’t seem to leave much room for being original or different. I hated the cliques at my high school. I
never fit in anywhere and when I thought I’d found myself a friend or two, I would say or do something that failed their expectations and found myself flailing out in the cesspool of high school life by myself again. I think part of the problem was that I enjoyed certain things about all the cliques but I’m pretty sure you 69
could only pick one, and I just couldn’t do that. I guess I have never been able to conform to anyone’s socially acceptable mold. I have found that to be true for me, even at church. There will most likely always be someone at a church ready to hit you over the head with their legalistic, pious views of how one is expected to live and behave as a Christian. Perhaps that is one of the reasons there are so many people out there who don’t like to go to church. Church should be accepting folks with lovingly open arms and no judgment attached. It’s God’s job to judge — and He will — not ours. It often seems that extending grace to those that need it (which incidentally is EVERYONE) is a forgotten act, or perhaps grace was never explained well enough to be fully understood.
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Back to conformity…I guess that no matter where we are or what we are doing, we seek like-minded people — those that will accept the opposite of us and understand us to some courage is degree. Which, frankly, is what baffles conformity me about Christianity. One would think that Christ would be the likemindedness to draw all Christians together….and well it should be!
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So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others. Have this 70
mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:1-5 So, when it comes to conforming, we should be concerned with conforming our attitudes to be like Christ’s. Christ wants to use all of us uniquely made individuals, with specific gifts and talents to work together to create the church. 1 Corinthians 12:1226 draws the perfect picture of how the church was created to thrive. It is only because Jesus loves me so grace”fully” that I have a desire to allow him to transform me to fit – to be an integral part of the body. There is a story in Jeremiah 18 about The Potter and the Clay. Jeremiah was a prophet God chose to speak to the Israelites to warn them of impending doom if they didn’t change their ways. God tells him to go to the potter’s shop where he would speak to him. So Jeremiah goes and finds the potter at his wheel. V4 But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over. Then the Lord gave me this message: ‘O Israel, can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand.’ Though this story was written thousands of years ago, to the Israelites, I believe this to be how God operates with us all. He is the potter, we are the clay. He has the power to create or crush. He chooses whether we will be a jar for decoration or for daily usage. He has refashioned me many times, but I am still the same piece of clay. I have to remember that being in his hands — the hands of the Master Creator and Artist Extraordinaire — is the best place I could possibly be. I know he isn’t done with me yet, but I will always need him to be the one transforming me and my attitude to become more like Christ’s.
Singing in the shower Not long after experiencing that life changing mysterious happening labeled, “born-again”, I started singing in the shower, not just sporadically — but with sincere intent — every time the water began its soothing peaceful caress. It was always purposefully the same…singing the same jingle I assumed was my original. It went like this: “Create in me a clean heart, O God — Let me be like you…in all my ways.” My newly birthed heart’s desire was summed up in these last 3 little words…all my ways. Life never stopped happening with its kaleidoscope of dizzying turns…but as the years rolled on a very strange worrisome fog began to intrude into my shower. The water was becoming all “muddied up!” I began to become aware that my life was not going so great…in reality, there was so much turmoil…many unexpected happenings! Here I am — all my ways being assaulted by a silly song ritual…in a routine shower. (By the way God, that showerhead has too much power — are you trying to break me to pieces?) In all my ways…so O.K., I’m waiting for you to change my ways. How about a sign from you, God? You can start with one…unless you think I don’t deserve even that…in all my ways…Hey! Wake up God! Are you listening or just too busy
with everyone else? What’s transformed about ME? As usual, my expectations? Time to check them completely out into the “no-fail shedder” for “eternal goofs.” Right in the midst of breathing…(possibly my last breath!) Trumpet Blast ~ Miracle Moment Personal Communication — with me — for me . My ways do matter to God. His words hit the mark…my mind and heart. He had to shake painfully hard to get my attention off me and on Him. “Your perseverance in singing in the shower is my process of transforming you. No longer captive to conform to the world’s ways. I AM --the only --- One — with the will and power and compassion and wisdom to transform a human – to make a Life very Good…Joyful and indeed — Gloriously and graciously strung together by God’s gentle hands…”(In all ways — becoming like Him!) Do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect…Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12;2, 28
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Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you Write a prayer in response to this chapter.
Why is persistence important in your journey with God?
Today, how would you ask God to help you be transformed “in all your ways�?
This verse or phrase keeps my eyes on Christ.
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Chapter 11 ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL
It’s OK to be unique
Think it over and write it down: How are you unique?
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In God’s eyes only. No, we are not all alike, we are fearfully and wonderfully made…one of the footholds of Satan is to get us to compare ourselves with one another or to feel like someone else has more than what we have, this very concept took Cain to a very lost place…. Genesis chapter 4… When they grew up, Abel became a Shepherd, while Cain was a farmer. Cain brought to the LORD a gift
of his farm produce, while Abel brought several choice lambs from the best of his flock. The LORD accepted Abel’s offering but he did not accept Cain’s. This made Cain very angry and dejected. “Why are you so angry?” the LORD asked him. “Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you respond in the right way. But if you refuse to respond correctly, then watch out! Sin is waiting to attack and destroy you, and you must subdue it.” 73
Often our jealousy, comparing ourselves with one another, choosing to disobey, not seeking the will of God is a result of our old sinful nature. James 1:12 God blesses the people who patiently endure testing. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. And remember, no one who wants to do wrong should ever say, “God is tempting me. God is never tempted to do wrong and he never tempts anyone else either. Temptation comes from the lure of our own evil desires. These evil desires lead to evil actions, and evil actions lead to death. So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Yes, Cain made a really poor choice…and it came from within his own thinking. It is very important to view ourselves through the eyes of God. He cares and loves us very much and he gave his life for us so that we could spend eternity with him. Our calling and gifting come from him. James 3:13- If you are wise and understand God’s ways, live a life of steady goodness so that only good deeds will pour forth. And if you don’t brag about the good you do, then you will be truly wise! But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your hearts, don’t brag about being wise. That is the worst kind of lie. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, nonspiritual, and motivated by the Devil. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every kind of evil.
Vs. 17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no partiality and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness. Cain could have planted seeds of peace and his harvest would have been rewarded. He knew that a sacrifice had to have the shedding of blood, for without the shedding of blood it is not a sacrifice. Hebrews 11:4 It was by faith that Abel brought a more acceptable offering to God than Cain did. God accepted Abel’s offering to show that he was a righteous man. And although Abel is long dead, he still speaks to us because of his faith. When we look around and see others with gifting and calling other than our own, encourage one another. Romans 14:17 For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God. And other people will approve of you too. So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up. I need your gifting and you need mine. Through It All, and So Much More…
n i y a juss Be yourself. Everyone else is taken...
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Maintaining our individuality As of March 30, 2018, the popularity of the word “unique” was on the top 10% of words used according to Merriam-Webster. We’re intrigued with unique items and people. We’re willing to pay lots of money to own something that is rare or unique. Usually, the more rare something is, the more value is placed on it. The wonderful thing about items we consider to be valuable is that it doesn’t always mean that dollar signs are equated to it. I place great value on the oneof-a-kind, unique gifts I have received from my nephews and niece and have saved them all, and some are even on display. They are priceless treasures to me. Unique items are one thing, but unique people can be a whole different ball of wax. Some people will go to great lengths and expense to be unique; some investing their money in multiple tattoo’s and body piercing or funky haircuts and coloring, or wearing outfits made of say… raw meat. After many years of observation and personal experiences, I am confident that God has created us all uniquely. Each ball of wax is different and our attempts to change or improve our uniqueness are done in vain and often end up burdening us financially, mentally and/or physically. I was drawn right to the back of the TouchPoint Bible to this specific spot that features Creativity. This is perfectly stated so I quote, “Creativity is a fashioning or shaping or conceiving of
something unique. We admire it and desire it and are thrilled when we can exercise it. God is the great example of creativity. For he was wildly creative in making our world.” Not only was God wildly creative in making the universe but also each individual that has ever been and will be to come is unique. Let that sink in. Billions and billions of people and no two are exactly alike! I’d like to think this book you are reading is unique. It is written by a unique and diverse group of women. We each have our own life stories, all riddled with pain and suffering, love and joy, trials and tribulations, and countless victories chalked up to the one thing we all have in common (other than we’re all on the short side) our faith in the miraculous power of the Holy Spirit and the One who gave His life for us, Jesus Christ. This commonality gives us the hope of living a life in community where unity should be strived for while maintaining our individuality. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 1:10, “Let there be real harmony so there won’t be divisions in the church. I plead with you to be of one mind, united in thought and purpose.” And what is that purpose? To tell others about Jesus’ love for us, and that He died so that we could be made right with God. Read 2 Corinthians 5:11-20. 75
My part. (References from (I Corinthians 12) Monday morning. Another week. Last week was bad, and I don’t expect anything different this week. I seem to again be placed on a shelf in a dark closet, and actually, I am getting comfortable there. Nothing is expected of me. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. Yes, I know I am one of the millions in the body of Christ. But I’m not a preacher, or a teacher, or a doctor, or really, anything important. But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. I believe that. I have read how God chooses people through the ages, and does wonderful things through them. He picks out special ones. I’m just a part of the rest of the millions. But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. So I am OK with the shelf. Let the stars of the body do their parts and I will pray for them and celebrate their accomplishments. Now if the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’ it 76
would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? Maybe I am a watcher of the body, not an integral part of it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. Really? Really? Then what part am I? I am not talented, educated, personable or wise. But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, How can that be true? But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Then... this is all really about God, not about me. That’s a new perspective for my inner self. It makes me realize that I am a part in something way bigger than myself. And my part is important and necessary, even though it is small.
There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.
What then, is my part this week? Ephesians 5:18-20 Be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you
What did you discover that would apply to your life when reading 2 Corinthians 5:11-20?
How is uniqueness a valuable part of community?
What do you consider your community?
This verse or phrase shows me how I am unique
What is your challenge today as part of the body?
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SECTION FOUR
Who, me? Think it over and write it down: Do you ever sit and think, “Why is this happening to me?”
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Confession is a precious gift.
We live in a society where someone is to blame for everything that goes wrong. There are no accidents. Someone was negligent, or malevolent, or racist. It is a time when a thief can break into your house and sue you if he gets cut on the broken window. A murderer claims he is a victim of parental abuse and can’t be held accountable for his actions. Teachers have to deal with parents who make excuses for their children’s homework and behavior. 78
We have lost the ability to say, “I was wrong. It was my fault. I’m sorry.” What a victory for our accuser. There can be no repentance if there is no fault. The sacrifice of Jesus does not need to be applied to our need, or to our sin, because we have not sinned. But the Bible tells us differently:
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. I John 1:8-10 The realization of our sinfulness is basic to our faith. There are two aspects of our sin, and both are covered by Christ’s death on the cross. The first is the sinful nature which we inherit from Adam. We cannot claim to be without sin, because we were born with it. Justification is the gift of Christ that allows our spirits to be “born again” when we give ourselves to the mercy of God. The second aspect of our sin is our continuing struggle against the old nature as we live by faith. Sanctification is the work of the Holy Spirit to wash us clean moment by moment as we confess our sins.
The beautiful truth to be understood here is that a believer never has to live with guilt, or feel guilty. We know we are children of God, we are justified in His sight, that is the foundation of our freedom. Then, as we live our lives and commit sin, which we will as long as we live, we have the avenue of confession which sanctifies us. We can go directly into the presence of God, where we will find immediate and refreshing forgiveness. It’s called “walking in the light”. If we attempt to deal with our sins and shortcomings by claiming our innocence instead of confessing our wrongdoing, God says we are liars. People who bury their sins will be affected in physical and psychological ways they don’t even realize. It is a debilitating process to live with unresolved guilt. Confession is a precious gift. Living honestly before God with an open channel of repentance will keep us healthy and at peace.
Yes, I am here and I will do it.
Sometimes I like to be in charge and sometimes I like for others to just point me in the right direction and I will do it…perform it….follow through with the idea…or even better, “We will do it this time and you can do it next time.”
I am at this point in reminding myself, that if I waited for perfect conditions, I would never do anything. Waiting around for someone to point you in the right direction could take years, so at some point, we have to step up and say, “Yes, I am here and I will do it.”
Sometimes it is really better not to have the responsibility the first time around, then you have a chance to hone it, correct it, compliment it, or say, “That is perfect, no need to do anything.”
It reminds me of Peter in the book of Acts…. Let me tell you this story about a very devout Roman army officer that lived in Caesarea, whose name was Cornelius. He feared the God of Israel, as did his entire 79
household. He gave generously to charity and was a man who regularly prayed to God. One afternoon about three o’clock, he had a vision in which he saw an angel of God coming toward him. “Cornelius!” the angel said. Cornelius stared at him in terror. “What is it sir” he asked the angel. The angel replied. “Your prayers and gifts to the poor have not gone unnoticed by God! Now send some men down to Joppa to find a man named Simon Peter. He is staying with Simon, a leatherworker who lives near the shore. Ask him to come and visit you. In the meantime, Peter was waiting for his noon meal, and the Lord gave him a vision as well, revealing to him that whatever God says was good to eat, was good to eat. Peter had never eaten anything that the Jewish law forbid. So three times God had to drop down a sheet. Peter was very perplexed. What could the vision mean? Just then the men sent by Cornelius found the house and stood outside at the gate. They asked if this was the place where Simon Peter was staying. Meanwhile as Peter was puzzling over the vision, the Holy Spirit said to him, three men have come looking for you. Go with them without hesitation. All is well, for I have sent them. SO PETER SAID, WHO ME? Not really, but Peter got to be the one God used in this situation to bring Cornelius and his whole household to the Lord.
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Peter knew it was alright to go to the home of a Gentile and minister to him, because the Holy Spirit spoke to him and told him to go. He had the example of the unclean foods now being called clean by God himself, so he could respond and step up and be the one that God would use in a mighty way to bring thousands of Gentiles to the Cross…what a thrill!
So Peter went down and said, “I’m the man you are looking for, Why have you come?” They relayed the events of Cornelius being respected by all the Jews and a Holy Angel instructed him to send for you so you can go to his house and give him a message. So Peter invited the men to be his guests for the night. (which was totally unheard of, Gentiles and Jews do not rest under the same roof, ever) The next day he went with them, accompanied by some other believers from Joppa. They arrived in Caesarea the following day. Cornelius was waiting for him and had called together his relatives and close friends to meet Peter. Peter told them, “You know it is against the Jewish laws for me to come into a Gentile home like this, But God has shown me that I should never think of anyone as impure. So I came as soon as I was sent for. Now tell me why you sent for me.” Cornelius said, “Now we are waiting here to hear what you have to say to us.” So Peter said, he was so glad that God did not show partiality and shared the good news of the gospel with them. They all received Christ and were baptized. They received the gift of the Holy Spirit and all testified of how they (the Gentiles) came to faith just as did the Jews. Peter stayed with them for several days teaching them and encouraging them in their new found faith in Jesus Christ. Like Peter, we never know when, or why or even how God might use us if we are willing to just say, “Who Me?” Yes, of course Holy Spirit, I will do it. Obedience is the first step of walking by faith.
Take responsibility for our actions When I was young, I used to enjoy reading the Family Circus cartoon. I was easily amused because it was so true and relatable. There was an imaginary character called Not Me. He would be pictured with a smug smirk on his face, running away or standing next to whomever happened to be getting the “who done it” question. In one of the cartoons you see the mom with her hand on her hip looking at her son and in between them is a tall plant with most of the leaves scattered on the floor. The caption reads, “I don’t know why I haven’t figured out a good excuse yet.” It makes me think of Paul when he says, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” Romans 7:15 Oh how I can relate on so many levels! More often than not, we tend to place the blame of our poor choices or bad circumstances on others. It’s hard to take responsibility for our actions and the consequences of them, especially when it makes us
look bad. Rather than saying, “I’m sorry”, or asking for forgiveness, we tend to defend or justify our actions when we’re unsuccessful at placing blame on someone or something else. When God asked Adam if he had eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil he replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit and I ate it.” Then Eve’s response was, “The serpent deceived me. That’s why I ate it.” While both of these statements have a thread of truth attached to them, the fact is, they BOTH made a poor choice which resulted in catastrophic consequences. Neither one would take responsibility. Each was passing the blame. We have all been there and done that…..
Ah, the proverbial waiting room.
Life: lived to the fullest is the assurance of conquering the untried world that awaits your coming — who me? — who else? — it seems like forever waiting for those first few weeks of _ _ _ _ _ _ kindergarten!
Nothing but Life — it’s JOY for the taking. The assurance of believing “I will be an artist!” coursed through my entire being as my eyes beheld the perfect iris in the drinking glass at the front of the room…
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At my new teacher’s instruction, I eagerly took the never used box of crayons with my name on it from my desk…
This is the best part – even more than five decades later, I still delight to collect and admire my many boxes of pointed crayons! Me? Use them? Who me?
It was me — my own box of colors — and the thrill and delight of drawing my picture of the shades and shapes of that one perfect iris. My teacher’s voice shattered my joy as she pointed to the perfect iris in front and in a most serious manner asked, “Do you really think your drawing looks like that?” I did…but she took my paper and threw it in a big brown trash can that was taller than me! Then she suggested that perhaps I would do better at sorting and numbers.
Why not? What are they meant to do?
Nope – don’t feel sorry for me – I always had the most crayons – and ones with unbroken points, too! I loved collecting, counting and arranging them by colors and patterns. I have boxes of eight – 24 - 64 – even 248!
What are you meant to do? Will you do it? James 1:2-5 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you How do feelings of guilt affect your life? What is your response to guilt?
This verse or phrase helps me remember how to be content
What is your response when God calls you to do something you are uncomfortable with doing?
What happens when you don’t take responsibility for your actions?
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Pray that God will show you when you need to take responsibility for your actions.
CHAPTER 12 Who, Me?
Poor Choices Think it over and write it down: How have poor choices affected your life?
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It starts when we are very young. What choice are you going to make? How are you going to deal with the situation at hand? How are you going to handle what is presently going on? All of life is about choices. We can either get direction, ask questions, rely upon our past choices and what we learned, or we can make the choice of “Wait and see what happens”. I call that the procrastinator choice. We let the chips fall where they fall. If it is not in our favor we can complain and whine about it forever. Better still, we can blame the outcome on someone else.
The Chinese fortune cookie choice
God says, Proverbs 3:5-8 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do and He will direct your paths. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom, instead, fear the LORD and turn your back on evil. Then you will gain renewed health and vitality. We have to learn to rely upon the LORD for all of our choices and decisions and we have to seek him always. Proverbs 3:21-22 My child, don’t R of -good CKS T loseUsight ly planning and insight. Hang on to them, for they fill you Right lane on with life and bring honor and respect. They keep you safe on your way and keep your feet from stumbling. You can 83
lie down without fear and enjoy pleasant dreams. You need not be afraid of disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the LORD is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap. I have made choices based upon poor information or not enough information, on someone else’s personal experience, not even asking God about it. I knew that the decision was not God’s will, and the best one. It was the choice of the Chinese fortune cookie, and that was disaster for sure. Proverbs 5:21-22 For the LORD sees clearly what a man does, examining evry path he takes. An evil man is held captive by his own sins, they are ropes that catch
and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control, he will be lost because of his incredible folly. There you have it. What I have learned. Self-control, the Holy Spirit’s control, will produce this kind of fruit in me. Galatians 5:22-23 But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us; Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. I do so much better when I am listening and being obedient to God. Then when I make choices, I have a sense of His direction and what will be the best choice for me. He is going to be with me -through it all.
No choice is also a choice. LIFE IS SCARY. One wrong choice and we could travel a long, long way into consequences. How do we choose? Subliminal choice. I can’t figure this out, but I have a gut feeling of what might work. I make a choice based on an unknowable, indescribable leaning. I feel good about it.
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Conscious choice. I sit down and list out the options. I think through them all and narrow it down to two. I look at those two and consider more factors. I make an intelligent choice based on all the facts that I have available. This is sensible and I can explain it.
Others’ choice for me. This is just too much for me. I ask around and get a consensus of opinions, and choose the most popular direction. If this doesn’t work out, it isn’t my fault. Pressured choice. My mother (or-husband, sister, brother, friend, child, manager, lawyer) revealed in no uncertain terms what my choice must be. There is no way I can get out of it. I am not in charge here. No choice. Whatever. I will sit this one out. If I wait long enough, the situation will work itself out on its own. I make no choice. (Not realizing that no choice is also a choice!) Besides, I could care less.
Prayerful choice. I have a resource beyond myself. God knows my going out and my coming in, He knows the future, and He loves and cares for me. I pray and read the Word for guidance. The Holy Spirit leads me to a choice. I walk in the ways of the Lord, and my footsteps follow His will for me.
Proverbs 3: 5-8 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
The Queen of Poor Choices
Everyone is faced with lots of choices everyday. Some require very little thought while others can seem overwhelming. From the time we wake up to the time we fall asleep we’re faced with a continual string of choices. We all make good and poor choices, as well as right and wrong choices. Both sets of choices have consequences but when we choose between right and wrong we are now making a moral choice and taking on the role of God. When it comes to poor choices, I am the Queen of them. For the majority of my life it seemed to me that I just made one poor choice after another. Perhaps the poorest choice I’ve made, which had a multitude of consecutive bad choices, was choosing to get married at the age of 20. I didn’t get married because “I had to” and worse yet, I didn’t even get married because I was in love. I got married to get out of the house. I didn’t know that my attempt to control my life would backfire on me. I escaped from the control of my parents (which I know now that they had my best interest in mind) to the control of an abusive husband.
When I was in my late 30’s I began to lament my poor choices. I think I was actually mourning the loss of the life that I might have had. This horrible choice became a growing wedge in my already troubled marriage. I chose to live as a defeatist. I had made my bed and now I was just going to have to lie in it! This attitude only added to my depth of depression and feelings of oppression. I regretfully became one with my garbage. Speaking from experience, twenty some odd years of piling garbage on yourself will smother you, the person God so carefully took the time and effort to create. I thank God that my mom never gave up on me. She would remind me, “God don’t make no junk!” (That’s the way that a very cultured woman with a masters degree talks you know. My mom is the best!) Thankfully, God never gave up on me either. Jesus pursued me, protected me and patiently waited for me to allow him to pull me out of my mess. I always felt there was a string of hope that I managed to hold onto by a mere fingernail. I didn’t understand that the Holy 85
Spirit gave me power to live a victorious life. In my early 40’s I experienced what I to this day, believe to be a miracle. I literally woke up one day and the depression was gone. It was the best attitude adjustment that money couldn’t buy! I truly believe God healed me to aid my journey in victorious living. Even though I still believe I wasted most of my life, and I am still known to make a poor choice now and again, I have no doubt that Romans 8:28 is true. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love
God and are called according to his purpose for them. Victory is mine and available to anyone ready to surrender control of their life. The best choice one can make is to accept Christ as their Savior. I realize all too well that statement will not sit well with many readers. It took me way too long to realize what a great thing I have in Christ! My choice to die to myself meant “an overwhelming victory is mine through Christ who loves me!” Romans 8:37
Cute won’t cut it
When Cute and Curiosity Won’t Cut It! Actual miniatures of real life have always captivated my attention. There never was a doll house that didn’t invite me personally, in to play. The only issue arose before I even knew my world had issues…except for the stern “No! No!” of putting anything – especially my finger in the little hole in the wall. It seemed like my pointer or pinky would just fit — but I didn’t really care enough to explore or find out.
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However…there was a big intriguing world before me…right upstairs…on the third floor…called the Playroom! Going carefully and quietly up the back secret steps – one at a time – put me just where I had hoped to be. Looking quickly around, I gleefully bolted for the huge door at the other end of the room.
Two very long arms…from nowhere…swooped me up and seriously laid down the law. “You are not to play with your big sister’s doll house…it is not yours… it does not belong to you…and there’s no furniture in it anyway. I have already stored it safely away to prevent temptation and breakage.” I was plunked down on my bottom all the way back across the room with a few pitiful toys…particularly uninteresting to a two – almost 3 year old adventurer! The phone rang in another room… Whee! I was free!…Running for it! The door opened easily and I spied my prize…up the steps – just the right size for my feet – and a peek inside — oops! CRASH!!! I hadn’t planned on falling inside! Oh NO! It’s real trouble…a BIG issue! A serious
pall poured over the afternoon and tears wiped away my joy. My bed was a welcome punishment…Daddy would rescue me and wipe away my tears…soon. Next day I awakened to some good news, “Your Father did just what you probably expected. He rescued you… again.” How could someone sound so annoyed at my accident? I didn’t even get a scratch or bleed anywhere. Mothers seem to show love with a straight face…and lots of rigid rules. Since life is always an issue — in process — I just don’t do issues – or carefully choose what I “must have – now!” My mother was done with this issue. She dropped a perfectly wrapped little present in my lap and right away she picked it up to open it for me as she assured me that I might ruin the bow or tear the paper. No giggles, hocus pocus or laughter…just a little trifle with a BIG lesson attached! There really was just time for a speedy glance at the gift…a miniature. My mother’s intentional correctional tone demanding all of me to be still and listen to her purposeful pronouncement… ”It’s only another issue — you caused!” (Strangely, I had a very hard time not smiling – as I thought my Daddy probably would too seeing three monkeys attached together by their tails.) One monkey covered its eyes with its hands, another covered its ears, and the other covered its mouth. These monkeys are not cute…they can’t and don’t do anything. Mother insisted that good little girls are to hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil — just like monkeys! This lesson must count as a big oops! for her. The miniature monkeys did exactly nothing during my days of preschool, kindergarten and elementary school…and nobody ever called me an “evil little girl”. Monkey see and monkey do – I’m not a monkey…and neither are you! Yes, it does matter — especially to God — our heavenly Father! (More later about this.)
The monkeys moved along with me through life’s journey — mostly thrown into a cigar box marked “misc. stuff ”. An amazing transformation began to effect my choices — and I was not even aware it was happening. Lots of heart breaking surprises…two of my children – second born, John Stuart, followed by third born, Melissa Jane – died when they were still infants. My marriage fell into the trap of “irreconcilable differences” and divorce followed. Issues became synonymous with Life…variations appeared to be whimsically woven by duration and intensity…always not in my ability to control! However…the mini-monkeys continue to reveal the purpose-full, destructive tragedy of evil. My rationalized thoughts and self-centered attitudes covered in the scam of busy-ness…compelled…I run to Him…the Only One who picks me up in His loving embrace, wipes away my tears with His own hands that created the Universe…and He gently speaks to my heart: Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Use wisely Neither faints nor is weary. your power His understanding is unsearchable. of choice... He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young man shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:28-31
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Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you
What do you think is the best way of making a choice?
What part does self control have in making your choices?
Are you living your life as a victim or are you choosing to be victorious?
What is your choice today?
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This verse or phrase is important when I need to make a choice...
CHAPTER 13 Who, Me?
Bad Circumstances Think it over and write it down: What happens when you can’t get past your bad circumstances? 25 MPH
We just need an attitude adjustment Joyous, horrendous, perfect, disastrous, calm, stormy, pleasant, threatening — just a few of the words from one end of the spectrum to the other that we use when describing our circumstances. We can often find ourselves in some pretty interesting circumstances. Some fabulous, like being in the right place at the right time and scoring two free tickets to the Cards game in the 7th row between home plate and first base. Others can be disastrous, like going out to sea for the big catch and getting caught in “the Perfect Storm” and losing your life. Some circumstances can be a result of our choices or sometimes we’re a victim of circumstance. But there’s good news— we can choose to be an overcomer of bad circumstances. It seems to me that how we view the circumstances we
find ourselves in can have a bearing on whether things will get worse, better or stay the same. Sometimes we just need a nice attitude adjustment to help us change the bad circumstances we find ourselves in. Those attitude adjustments seem to work best when we admit responsibility to the poor choice when that is the scenario to the bad circumstance. However, all too often, we choose to blame others for the circumstances we get in. That way we can avoid any and all responsibility and things will stay the same or get worse. I like this quote of Robert Anthony, he says, “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” You know that phrase, ‘If it wasn’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all?’ I’ve felt like that a lot. So it seems 89
that if you expect bad things, bad things will likely happen. I learned I couldn’t change the people in my life that I was blaming my bad circumstances on, but I could change myself. Once I understood that change is possible I also understood that I could learn to be content in my circumstances. Philippians 4:11-13 says it beautifully, “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the
secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need.” God has indeed worked all things together for good and I am able to use my poor choices and bad circumstances as I testify to the miraculous grace and glory of God!
Challenge and Crisis: The goal is blessed stability When I moved again for the 34th time, I thought to myself, “The next time I move it will be to heaven. I am not moving again.” We want stability. I don’t even remember phone numbers or make an effort to remember them, because for so many years, I would get a whole new set of friends with new phone numbers. Why bother? I have drivers licenses for Missouri, Illinois, and Minnesota. I planned on not being rooted, not getting too settled. I allowed my circumstances to determine my frame of mind. Not a good thing. I had to guard my feelings in order to protect myself from instability. Change causes us to feel detached. But changing 90
circumstances are opportunities for us to learn about contentment. The Life of Joseph: Challenge and Crisis Gen. 37 Begins the life and story of Joseph, a dreamer who was taken off into slavery. If that is not enoughGen. 39 He got a job, butGen. 39:19 He ends up in prison. ButGen. 41 His gift for dreams helps him. ButGen. 41:37-41 Change, Crisis and challenge. Gen. 42 A famine, Jacob and his brothers come. ButGen. 43 Benjamin and his father’s stories. Then Gen. 44 The plot with the silver cup. Gen. 45 He reveals his real identity to his family. Gen. 46 A joyous reunion.
Joseph never allowed bad or changing circumstances to influence his integrity. His faithfulness brought blessing to his brothers and their families. Joseph told his brothers, Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them. Gen. 47-49 Chapters of blessings, powerful in his life Gen. 50:19-21 God turns evil to good.
Our true character comes shining through when we are pressed into horrible situations and when life is not so good. Will we trust Him during these times? Or do we try and take control. Do we tray to figure it out on our own? Do we blame God and criticize God and complain? James 1:2-4 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
Impossible joy Things couldn’t get worse... or could they? James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds Who does that. I don’t know anyone who is confronted with difficult circumstances and thinks of it as a joy. No. It would be making light of sin and sorrow and of your own and others’ emotions. Or perhaps joy is not what we think it is. Perhaps happy is not the best synonym in this case. Let’s read about this instance of “joy” in context: Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance
Trials of many kinds: heartbreak, loss, hurt, illness, failure... are exercises in faith. How, why? Because faith is so much more than saying you believe in God, in the Bible, in heaven. Faith is investing your whole life; heart, mind and soul; with a man who was crucified, died and was buried. And claimed to be God. Do we really think that a believer should live a life of uninterrupted pleasure and ease? This is earth, corrupted earth at that. We are not in Eden or heaven. Faith requires that we face pain by raising our arms to Jesus and believing that He knows and cares. The joy rushes in with the exercise of faith in conquering the evils of death, loss, sin, heartache. We are not defeated. We will not turn away. We raise our arms to 91
Jesus waving a banner of victory. We believe there is a purpose, a reason, for every tear. We believe that God turns evil into light. That, my friend, is joy. Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Satan has created a soft culture of comfort to distract us from the necessity to fight for our faith. We expect to take a pill, receive a check in the mail, or hear words of praise. If instead we face a blank wall or an empty bank account or a dying friend, it is time to exercise our faith. It is time to pray, read the Word and open our hearts to receive God’s love. We are surrounded by a cloud of predecessors who have proven that faith releases joy in times of persecution or
trouble. Stephen raised his eyes as he felt the stones and saw the glory of God. Dietrich Bonhoeffer strode confidently to his death just weeks before the war was over. Jim Elliot, murdered by the people he came to teach, was known to say, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Read this again: James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds Jim Elliot also said, “Oh, the fullness, pleasure, sheer excitement of knowing God on earth!” He experienced hardship and loss and the result was joy. Consider it joy, friends, when you face the inevitable negative circumstances of life. For joy is victory.
First in line...
First in line — Me — #1 person to select my seat on the airplane whose destination was just being announced, “Atlanta, Georgia, now boarding.” Stepping across the divide from loading platform to plane, the litany of instructions continued, “Luggage must be stored in overhead compartment nearest the seat you choose… one person per seat…fasten you seat belt quickly — our mission is to be on time and…” 92
My eyes focused on the window seat, Row G — the perfect spot and the magical time of glorious sunset phasing into dusky darkness, preparing for the sparkling lights that would soon illuminate the Atlanta skyline. My plan is A.O.K. I could be alone on a crowded 727 not having to talk to anyone about anything. Truly grateful, but silently spoken, I responded, “Thanks God, you are awesome!”
Just then something touched my shoulder so gently that I almost refused to look up but two more intentional taps (more like an order), “Would you mind moving over two seats so my daughter can sit by the window?” requested a frazzled mother. From a swift second’s glance at her daughter, all that registered was, she’s a mighty little girl to wear such thick glasses! She merely giggled with unabandoned glee as she slid uninvited into my window seat pulling her mother into the seat besides her. It comes in handy that I see myself as “friendly – flexible.” Faintly hearing the plane’s cabin door securely fastened, I glanced up to see – and hear – a rowdy very large man ricocheting down the aisle. (I chuckled at myself thinking – drink, drank, Drunk! – just don’t land in my row, Buddy.) He did! His head rested…on my shoulder…passed out in his nasty fumes. Row G — not exactly as planned – oh well – talking to Big Boozer won’t have to be on my agenda – whatever problems he has, they’re not mine. Gingerly reaching into the pocket of my jacket to warm my freezing fingers – not only is there no feeling all the way up my left arm – no tingling, no pain. “Love your neighbor as”…nudged unbidden at my conscience. “Hey, I don’t even know this dude – he’s already used up all my literal feeling – nada…nothing available to give away. If I don’t take care of me, who will?” I could hear the doctor’s serious warning that heart problems are the silent killer of women like me. How final is this mess I’m in? My heart is already beating as loud as his snoring! Lord, there are no beautiful evening lights – only eerie shadows enfolding Row G…it’s getting darker…get us to Atlanta…it’s me. Lord…can you see or hear me…praying…the cabin lights are flickering all the time… hurry!…HELP… (Fear fully activated)
“Who pushed the alarm?” “Little Giggles”, our youngest traveler, as if not even seeing her mother, climbed right over her and snuggled up to me. She’s patting my cheeks with her gentle soft hands. Her mother turns and is actually smiling at me while pulling an obviously special little box out of her pursed. She’s opening it to spray its heavenly scented perfume - not even noticing how it covered up the nasty boozer aroma. She began to tell me how she had bought it for the day of her daughter’s eye surgery. Realizing the cancer that had dictated most of “giggles” first 2 1/2 years of life, her mother is telling me about reading the amazing ability of very young children to easily replace a failed sense of all sight with other senses that give equal joy. [Somehow I am having my share of joy not being alone…] The mother is eagerly stretching her hand holding the treasured bottle straight to me. “Here, it’s yours – the perfect ‘thank you’ to the nice lady who gave up her You are bigger window seat to Atlanta, Georgia.” than your [I winced…nice lady…who me?]
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circumstances...
The mother put the bottle carefully in my pocket. It might have been the spray’s aroma arousing Big Man as he sat up just like awakening from a very good dream. Immediately standing and bowing (from where his waist might be), he gently inquired, “Where might you three lovely ladies be going in Atlanta, Georgia?” One at a time, we replied, “To Grady Hospital.” “Grady Hospital happens to be my destination, too,” says Big Man. “When I boarded this plane, full of booze, it was the light shining above Row G that guided me — hmmm – amazing – all of us are Grady-bound! It would be my delight to have a taxi to pick us all up for our journey to Grady.” We all smiled with hope overtaking any feelings of
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fear. Our youngest traveler added an Amen with her winsome giggles. Two of us were stunned with grateful silence. Big Man with a Big Heart embraced us all in one huge hug. “I must not be late to Grady. My appointment has been set for me,” as the linked hand-holders from Row G wound their way from the plane to the awaiting taxi. Outside — Atlanta, Georgia — every possible light in heaven and on earth shone with the Glory and Reality of God’s Love!…Accompanied by melodic giggle.
What did I do to deserve such joy? Nothing…absolutely nothing. Have you ever faced Truth or Reality? What was your response? Why do you think you responded as you did? (It’s o.k. to talk to yourself and God!)
Unpacking your bags... When hardships come into your life, what is your first response?
When you do not understand why something is happening to your or a loved one, what is your first response? How does this work for you?
I need this verse or phrase when things go wrong... How have the hard things of life prepared you for the next step? Do you feel you are still in process?
What does it take for you to get an attitude adjustment?
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CHAPTER 14 Who, Me?
My Shortcomings Think it over and write it down: What do you consider your shortcomings?
25 MPH
It’s not really my fault
Meeting the Standard We know when we do not meet God’s standard of conduct or service. We know because the Holy Spirit nudges our consciences. All too often, we find ourselves falling short of God’s measure. Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. We might question why we are responsible for repeated shortcomings, when it is God who has created us and given us these weaknesses. “It’s not really my fault,”
we think. Or “There is nothing I can do about this, I’m wired this way”. In the extreme case, an addicted person may believe that the weakness in their system that makes them vulnerable to addiction can not be overcome. They continue in their failings. And everyday we continue to struggle with selfishness, lying, impatience, anger- different things for different personalities- and we excuse ourselves because “that’s just how we are”. Paul had a different approach to his personal S-I have CKthat TRU shortcomings: Philippians 3:12-15 - Not ht lanebutonI ly Rigperfect, already obtained this or am already press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me 95
his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Paul accepted his state of imperfection, but also aimed for a higher standard. He wanted to be the very best for Christ, he worked at maturity, and he believed that there was always potential for stretching toward holiness. Not only that, but he infers that God Himself helps in the process and lifts us far beyond what we are able in our natural abilities and determinations. Overcoming our shortcomings, dealing with our sins happens as we consciously draw upon our understanding of the real God who is really there to make a real difference in our lives. It takes a discipline of mind to focus on Him instead of the
circumstances around us. It requires patience with ourselves, meditation upon the Word, and petition to the Almighty for control and power over temptation and sin that “so easily besets us” as it is written in Hebrews12:1. Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, The outcome of our shortcomings can be transformation instead of acceptance, resulting in joy and peace instead of frustration and guilt. Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Performance based living
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I often find myself wondering, “What is wrong with me?” Well I could give you a very long list of things I think are wrong with me, but I’ll keep it to a few. An accurate word to encompass my flaws is shortcomings. It’s “a fault or failure to meet a certain standard, typically in a person’s character, a plan, or a system.” Synonyms — defect, fault, flaw, imperfection, limitation, weakness. Maybe part of the reason I feel defective is this nasty critical spirit that rears its ugly
head from time to time. It is a tool that Satan loves to use on me. Criticism in itself isn’t a bad thing – as long as it is constructive and not destructive. I’ve found the problem with me is learning how to receive criticism without being defensive. Proverbs 15:31-32, “If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject criticism, you only harm
yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.” Performance based living hasn’t worked well for me either. However, that is how I was raised. I need to learn how not to perform for self-gratification, acceptance and worse yet, praise from others. I need to live my life glorifying God — not me. It’s a complicated thing for me to try to figure out. If you have low self-esteem like I do, it is really helpful to get encouragement from others. But the problem is, when those compliments start coming in the door often the humbleness goes out. My efforts to keep the glory where it should be usually end up with me belittling myself and I’m pretty sure that’s not how you’re supposed to do it. One thing I do know, nothing I do or make will ever compare to the miraculous wonders of the creator of the universe. So if you think you can perform some spectacular feat for God to gain brownie points, just read Job chapters 38 & 39 to put things in perspective. Related to performance based living is expectancy. In my eyes it’s another shortcoming for me. I suppose expectations start when you’re old enough to do things for yourself. We all have experienced expectancy from our family, peers, places of employment, our spouse, even our church…I guess in all arenas of life. On one hand, I am thankful that I was valued enough to hold the trust of those who were expecting a good outcome. On the other hand, when we don’t meet people’s expectations, the things that are said and/or done can be devastating. The words that come out of our mouths have the power to encourage or destroy. Words like stupid, idiot, fat, looser, worthless - just to name a few - are words that scar and will be a detriment to anyone’s wellbeing. I
would strongly encourage you not to use those words, especially to a child! Proverbs 16:24, “Kind words are like honey — sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Another word of advice — parents teach your children how to cope when they lose. In my eyes that is a gift unlike any other. I don’t know how to do this and it has been a huge stumbling block for me. Back to performance based living, one of the main reasons I was drawn to Christ was His unconditional love for me. By that, I mean, He loves me regardless of all my mistakes and horrible things I’ve done and said to others as well as myself. He loves me when I don’t love myself or others as I should. He loves me when I’m stubborn and act like a fool….however, I do think he is probably disappointed that I don’t make better choices. He has given us the Holy Spirit to aid us. Galatians 5:16-17, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.”
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Look at the good in others What do we do with our inadequacies and our shortcomings? I know that it has to do with having grace in place. I am able to allow others to have areas in their lives that are less than perfect. I can see problems in others but not so much in my own life. It has to do with the speck in their eye and the telephone pole in mine. Matthew 7:1-5 Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged! And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, “Friend, help me help you get rid of that speck in your eye”, when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye, then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. What is it about us that makes us so critical of others? Is it jealousy? Is it wanting to make ourselves more important thatn what we really are? We tend to notice what is wrong and negative rather than what is good and positive. It remember thinking when the boys were first making their beds, “This is not good. They are never going to get it,” but I encouraged them and in time they could actually make their beds pretty well, and even took pride in their work. We judge others in so many areas, and we are good at 98
it, but being able to encourage and bring out the best in people is really a lost art. We need to take time to look at the good in others and what they accomplish rather than being so critical and judgmental. Recently a woman was criticizing and picking apart another women’s efforts at a gathering. Her perfectionism was noted by everybody, and she was short and cut people off in the midst of being creative or planning. Finally, she isolated herself and wondered why she didn’t have many friends. I want grace, and I certainly need to give grace to others. I am amazed at younger women in the way they manage their kids, their homes and seem to be involved in many things. They are super women, perfect not by any means, but they are out there and doing something. I think older women can learn from the younger women and I think they can learn from us as well. Life and living is a two way street. I don’t know it all. I shouldn’t think I have to tell everything I know. I don’t believe everything I hear. There’s truth in the saying “get out of the way so God can work” and “live what I speak, “no is a spiritual word”, and “the proof is the truth”. Growing kindness and being full of grace if a lifetime process. Lord, help us all!
Unpacking your bags...
This verse or phrase puts my sins in perspective
Underline phrases in the text that are important to you
How can you discipline yourself to confront your sins?
Why do you think you’re critical and judgmental of others?
Pray today that God will help you to be an encourager.
Do you live your life to please others or to please God?
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CHAPTER 15 Who, Me?
Taking Responsibility
Think it over and write it down: Do you like to take responsibility? Why or why not?
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Finger pointing is rampant Have you noticed how no one seems to want to take responsibility for their own actions? It’s been going on forever, but seems out of control these days. Every time we turn on the TV or radio someone is blaming somebody else for something. Excuses are flying around like swarms of gnats! Granted, there is an overwhelming amount of horrible things happening in America and the entire world these days. When I attempt to analyze why people are behaving childishly (for lack of a better word), the only logical reason I can attribute it to is the end times. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without selfcontrol, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.” Well, that’s pretty heavy! Note how critical the first and last three words in this passage are — “But understand this” — if we can’t understand the pertinence of the words that follow, we won’t “Avoid such people” because maybe, you are such a person…just sayin’. Furthermore, it is getting harder and harder for me to avoid such people and I realize some of them are actually good friends of mine. So now it becomes an issue of tolerance. It’s important to remember, we are not the one doing the judging, but we are responsible to put on the amour
of God and protect ourselves. Ephesians 6:10-18 gives detailed information on that and is worth looking up and reading. Many conversations I find myself in are rooted in blame. It seems society is becoming more and more blind to truth and tolerant of sin. It appears we’re learning to use excuses and blame to justify bad behavior and/or poor choices. People seem to be avoiding responsibility like avoiding the plague. Finger pointing is rampant. I fear it has become part of the new “normal”. Hitching a ride on the excuse train is a dangerous and risky choice we face everyday. Whether we want to admit it or even realize it, people are watching us everyday day…especially if you’re on social media! But most important, lest not we forget, God is watching us. He sees and knows everything we say, think and do. So, if we are choosing to justify our actions rather than deny reality and truth, why not choose true justification? 1 Peter 1:17-20 And remember that the heavenly Father to whom you pray has no favorites when he judges. He will judge or reward you according to what you do. So you must live in reverent fear of him during your rime as foreigners here on earth. For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And the ransom he paid was not mere gold or silver. He paid for you with the precious lifeblood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. God chose him for this purpose long before the world began, but now in these final days, he was sent to the earth for all to see. And he did this for you. 101
Responsible in my walk and talk
Living the Christian life is not for slackers! We constantly have to be on guard and we must be diligent in walking in the Spirit. God takes responsibility for us all the time, but we have accountability along the Christian path. For one thing, staying clear on the path and being what we need to be is really important. I Peter 1:13-20 So prepare your minds for action and exercise selfcontrol. Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.” And remember that the heavenly Father to whom you pray has no favorites. He will judge or reward you according to what you do. So you must live in reverent fear of him during your time here as “temporary residents.” For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which lose their value. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. God chose him as your ransom long before the world began, but now in these last days he has been revealed for your sake.
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Those verses so challenge me and remind me to be responsible in my walk and talk. Living the Christian
life is not about an easy path. The path of faith is one of the “Long Obedience” as Eugene Peterson states in his book. It requires self-control and discipline. It is indeed for the long haul. I Corinthians 15:58 So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthusiastic about the Lord’s work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless. I also realize that my obedience and choices affect the lives of others. I certainly do not want to be a stumbling block for anyone. Proverbs 12:11 Hard work means prosperity; only fools idle away their time. Responsibility is 24/7. It moves the lazy person on to stability and productions. I am always happy to see young people who have a good work ethic, knowing they will achieve good things. I also admire people who keep their word and who follow through on what they say they are going to do. I want to be responsible. I want you to be responsible too. We both gain much from just following God in faithfulness.
Wiping off the foggy window I can spend my lifetime evading my issues... There are these “issues” I have, and I know they are there, but I glance at them through foggy windows and there is never an importance or urgency to deal with them. “I will”, I think. “Not now, it’s not the right time”, I say. Months pass. That troublesome image in the window of my soul emerges again. “I will”, I think. “Not now, it’s not the right time, I say. We really don’t know ourselves as God knows us. He sees into our hearts, He knows what hinders our relationship with Him. It is His Holy Spirit that brings into our consciousness the “issues” we have that need attention. When that troubling problem appears in the foggy window of our minds, we must stop what we are doing, wipe the fog from the window, and look at it squarely and honestly. If we turn away, thinking, “I will”, and we say, “Not now, it’s not the right time”; we are turning our back on God Himself. Hebrews 3: 12 See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today’, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. When something comes to the window of our conscience, the Holy Spirit has brought it there. We would conveniently pull the curtains and shut out the light of truth. It is remarkable that we EVER notice our own shortcomings and sins. We are uncomfortable
and insecure when we stare at our faults. It is so easy to see the faults of others... Matthew 7:3 ‘Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? God is good and He loves us. He sees the potential of our personalities and nudges us to grow in maturity and love. We need to trust Him. We need to throw open the curtains and open the window to our faults, believing that we can overcome, we can be better, we can learn, we can grow in God’s grace garden. It is a wonderful thing to recognize our frailties and make a conscious decision to accept God’s help to change. We need to take responsibility for our condition and actions, and let God transform us. Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will. I used to tell my kids, “You are in charge of yourself, and you can tell yourself what to do”. There was no “I can’t help it”. Next time, when an image of my own “issue” appears in the window through the fog of my busy mind, I will welcome it and think, “I will”. I will say, “Now, right now, is the best time to face this”. Taking responsibility is the only first step to change. 103
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you How are world circumstances affecting you? How might placing confidence in God help you?
How does obedience play into responsibility? Do you feel you are going in the right direction?
Is there any urgency in recognizing the reality of sin in your life? What steps of responsibility are you taking?
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This verse or phrase warns me to take responsibility for my actions
CHAPTER 16 Who, Me?
Sabotaging Myself Think it over and write it down: How are you sometimes your own worst enemy?
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Join me in my poor choice I don’t believe we are conscious of how this happens or exactly why it happens but it does if you are involved with life and living. Our thinking gets clouded and we fall into behaviors that take us down paths that lead to poor choices. An example in my own life, I know I need to lose some weight. I mean this is the theme for most of my life, but I will purchase something in the store that will not help me in many wise food choices and I put it in the cart, and actually carry it home. My favorite cookies for an example. I eat them and serve them to others. Join me in my poor choice.
What is that but setting myself up to fail? But if I have a plan for my diet, or eating less, and watching the caloric intake, I do pretty well. Also, checking the scales to see how I am doing. Having a plan is best. Making a list and then sticking to the list, rather than wandering up and down the aisles doesn’t lead to wise choices. Making iced tea without sugar…no whipped cream on the strawberries, smaller portions. I know exactly what I am supposed to do and I get it, but as Sthe saying goes, the Spirit is willing, Kthinking UCthe TRbut only is corrupt. Then, I hate myself inRthe say, t lane and ighprocess I am not doing that again….and on it goes. 105
Your area of sabotage may be different. If we can determine at the beginning of the shopping experience what we will or will not do, it helps us in the choosing and doing and that same pattern will serve us well in all areas. Ps. 86: 11-13 Teach me your ways, O LORD, that I may live according to your truth! Grant me purity of heart. That I may honor you. With all my heart I will praise you, O LORD my God. I will give glory to your name forever, for your love for me is very great. You have rescued me from the depths of death. I know this is David’s prayer, but it has been mine at times. Sometimes I need a teaching moment,
sometimes I just have to stop with one cookie and put the rest away or better still, send them home with someone else, so they can deal with the problem. My thinking today is clear but I cannot rest tomorrow on the choice I made today. Each day has its choices and each day I have to make my choice. Ps. 106: 2b Happy are those who deal justly with others and always do what is right. I know that to be true, but my thoughts are not always in line with the plan and purpose of God and I have to just acknowledge it, and live in the forgiveness of another day and another choice.
Another self-taught behavior It shouldn’t surprise anyone that I am very well versed in the act of self-sabotage. I have allowed it to leave a long trail of destruction weaving through my life. It is one of the things I hate about myself. It’s another selftaught behavior due to lack of beneficial tools to aid my mental processing.
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I read an article on “Beating Self-Sabotage” on the internet on a site called MindTools. They had a list of self-sabotaging behavior that I found myself putting a big check mark next to all of them but one. First off: procrastination. Sometimes I procrastinate for fear of a negative outcome and sometimes I’m just plain lazy. Either way, there’s nothing good about it and it is literally a waste of time. I’m ashamed to admit that I sorely lack the motivation to do just about anything of importance.
The book of Proverbs has lots to say about laziness, for example, Proverbs 15:19 The way of a sluggard is like a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a level highway. One thing that I would urge readers that aren’t sure whether to trust Christ as their Savior, or have been putting it off for whatever reason, now is the time to stop procrastinating in that decision! Matthew 25:1-13 is a good story on that. Moving on to the second effect of self-sabotage: unfulfilled dreams. There was actually a period of about 5 to 10 years during my 30’s and 40’s that I mourned the loss of my dreams. I realized that all I had hoped or dreamed for was never going to happen. I didn’t dare to dream for many years after. If I could go back in time I would have changed most of my choices. It sill grieves me to know what I could have
been if I wouldn’t have made so many poor choices. Next on the list: anger. I internalized anger for years! I guess it was to try to “protect” myself from more physical abuse. I never knew what might set my ex off on a rampage so I stuffed my emotions. I look back on those dark days and laugh to know that people were afraid of me because of all the negative vibes around me. There was this guy who nicknamed me “smiley”, probably because I was anything but! I am a big proponent of reading books and there are several Christian authors whose books helped me learn how to deal with the people and issues that fed my anger. Ephesians 4:26 has the best advice, Don’t sin by letting the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil. A bi-product of anger is jealousy. Everyone experiences it; someone has something nicer than yours, or someone can do something better than you or your deserved recognition goes to someone else, etc, etc. Jealousy is a thorn in my life whose roots go deep and I find it very difficult to eradicate. It is perhaps the most destructive thing in my life that I deal with almost everyday. It plays out as the epitome of hypocrisy. Not only am I not loving “my neighbor”, but I am hating myself. Proverbs 27:4 Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but who can survive the destructiveness of jealousy. I so need God’s love, mercy and forgiveness. There are only two more things on the list so hopefully you can bear with me. I realize it can be hard to think about all this heavy-duty garbage, but I’m fairly certain I’m not the only one out there dealing with these things. So, the second to last thing: Feelings of Worthlessness. This is directly related to negative mental chatter — or stinkin’ thinkin’, as Edna says. It kills any selfconfidence or self-esteem that might be trying to
grow. In my mind it is hard to differentiate between pride and humility. How can I take pride in something I do and still be humble? It’s a slippery slope for me to know how not to be too proud yet not have false humility. I may never get it, so for this life on earth that I don’t fit into very well, it is comforting to know how God views me…and YOU. Matthew 10:29-31, Not even a sparrow, worth only half a penny, can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows.
n i y a juss
Finally: Worry. I have to say, I’m thankful and grateful that this is Just get out one thing I am not burdened with! of your own YAY! I have learned that I a not in way! control and all those years I spent over-analyzing everything got me nowhere. Isaiah 55:8-9, ‘My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,’ says the Lord. ‘And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’ It is so much easier for me to trust in God and let him do His thing knowing he has my best interest in mind. I often don’t understand what’s happening or why…but I don’t need to! I can’t thwart His plans. Matthew 6:13-34 talks all about worry. My favorite part is the end starting in verse 31, So don’t worry about having enough food, drink or clothing. Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it’s own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today!
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We often don’t WANT to change WAYS WE PREVENT OUR OWN GROWTH AND MATURITY: PROCRASTINATION AND LAZINESS Hebrews 6:12 We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. We may be willing and open to maturity in godliness, but just too tired and lazy to put some effort into the process. Bible study? Next month. BLAME AND DENIAL Genesis 3:12 The man said, ‘The woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.’ If we do not acknowledge our guilt, we can never be forgiven. If we blame others for our faults, we will never find the resources to change. If we do not take responsibility for our actions, we will continue in paths that stray away from God. PLEASURE AND INDULGENCE Luke 8:14 The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. Admit it. We often don’t WANT to change, we don’t WANT to live God’s way. We want chocolate, roller coasters and excitement. The pleasures of life are just too good to give up. 108
REBELLION AND ANGER Psalm 106:43 Many times he delivered them, but they were bent on rebellion and they wasted away in their sin. Some people are addicted to rebellion. They are proudly falling over cliffs in their lives, all the while shouting and shaking their fists in the air. Sunday morning church? Not a chance. IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO LIVE A GODLY LIFE? Ephesians 4:20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you What kind of plan can you create to encourage making better choices?
Which of the following negative habits affect your view of yourself and your behavior? • Procrastination •Unfulfilled dreams •Anger •Worthlessness •Worry
This verse or phrase warns me to help, not hinder my progress
What can you do about it?
Pinpoint your greatest obstacle to living a Godly life. What hinders you desire for spiritual rehab?
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SECTION 5
How I Have Branded Myself Think it over and write it down: What thoughts come to your mind when you hear the word, “branding”?
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Defining Branding.
Dictionary defines noun and verb. Brand, noun…a mark indicating identity or ownership, burned on the hide of an animal with a hot iron. ~ A mark formerly burned into the flesh of criminals. ~ A mark of disgrace or notoriety; stigma. ~ An iron that is heated and used for branding. ~ A piece of burning or charred wood. Archaic – a sword.
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Brand, verb…To mark with or as if with a brand ~ To mark with disgrace or infamy; stigmatize. Brand noun... 1. A mark of disgrace (as one formerly put on criminals with a hot iron). 2. A mark made by burning (as on cattle) or by stamping or printing (as on manufactured goods) to show ownership, maker, or quality. TRUCKS- ly 3. TRADEMARK ht lane on 4. A class of goods identified R byiga name as the product of a certain maker.
Trademark, noun. 1. A name, symbol, or other device identifying a product, officially registered and legally restricted to the use of the owner or manufacturer. 2. A distinctive sign by which a person or thing comes to be known.
generosity, caring, and humility…(“ouch less” bandaids conveniently provided by…ME.)
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
For heaven’s sake, who would actually make an intentional appointment for this barbaric procedure just to prove ownership by another? Except…for One other… The Lamb – owned by his Father. Together planning before time began…the Trinity designed themselves to be the author of all including each human’s life story. This means: No additions or altering — No messing in the mess or with the message! God and His Son have (Joyfully!) taken responsibility for brandowner and delivering — finished and complete…No other being qualifies! Every word of God is flawless, he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar. Proverbs 30:5-6
But if the servant declares, ‘I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,’ then his master must take him before the judges. He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life. Exodus 21:5-6 I branded myself a “book-aholic”. But guess what? I did not truly qualify according to the criteria of some One…any way I turned. It was a surprise to me to be confronted by the Reality…I did not qualify…I could not brand myself! If anyone was interested or able to scan through books that have changed my life and made me laugh or cry or whatever else…every one tells a story and I wanted to have my input (help the author!)…after all, who could choose to be the “book critic” for my life better than ME? Millions (I exaggerate…just a little) of books and decades later, I’m now experiencing the “granny” stage of life…it is miracle time! — totally true — My delicately delicious addiction caused me to believe the most harmful delights and to tell myself the BIGGEST lies about…ME…of course with all my gracious
Branding is actually – in reality – a painful messy event…often very aromatic (both thumbs down) STINKY!
The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails — given by one Shepherd. Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them. Of making many books there is no end, and much study worries the body. Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. Ecclesiastes 12:11-14 Do Not Lie…I am the Lord – your God. Leviticus 19:11
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We belong to God When we go to our special Boutique…(Goodwill Stores and resale shops), we always check the label to see what the brand is, it has to be good and one we know the exact size we need in order for it to fit us, especially in pants or jeans. The brand name gives us a good idea of the value and if we are really getting the bargain and value we are looking for…funny how that knowledge makes us feel good about the purchase. The Brand name tells who made it and sometimes, it actually helps us in valuing the merchandise. God says, when we come to know Christ…we belong to Him. We have the seal of the Holy Spirit and he identifies us as His own. Purchased by the blood of Christ and brought into the Kingdom, as a forgiven sinner now saved by grace. Eph. 1:13-14 And now you also have heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us everything he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. This is just one more reason for us to praise our glorious God. The brand name indicates that the merchandise is authentic and the designer or owner guarantees a certain amount of promise in that what you see is what you are getting. Sometimes there are people who give it a brand name but it is not authentic…it is a copy or a counterfeit. Satan is good at trying to do the real thing but he is only able to produce a counterfeit. The proof of our salvation is not in what we do or say, 112
“Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy has he saved us.” Titus 3:5. Our own works cannot produce salvation as some would claim, but it is through faith in what Jesus did on the cross that saves us. We then, trust by faith that when we ask for forgiveness and we seek to be saved, it is done merely because Jesus’s death on the cross reconciled us in satisfying the justice of God. We sinned…Jesus paid for that sin….and God’s justice was satisfied, now we have his brand. We belong to God. Heirs to the Kingdom, no longer coming short upon meeting the demands of the law but actually, free from the condemnation and free to be set apart for Christ. But what do the Scriptures say about that? Galatians 4:30-31 “Get rid of the slave and her son, for the son of the slave woman will not share the family inheritance with the free woman’s son.” So dear friends, we are not children of the slave woman, obligated to the law. We are children of the free woman, acceptable to God because of our faith. We got the bargain, we got the sweet deal…of God’s best…not a child of the flesh, but authentic…we are part of the continuing promise and covenant of God. We belong. Bought, sealed and delivered…on our way to the Promised Land…the Inheritance Received… The Brand says so.
It starts searing in... The book, “The Scarlet Letter,” is the epitome of what it means to be branded. The story is set in the 1600’s in Puritan Massachusetts. It’s about a young woman who conceives a daughter through an affair. She is publicly humiliated and shamed for her sin by the townspeople and required to war a piece of cloth with a scarlet “A” embroidered on it. She is branded by all as an “adulteress”. A twisted and complicated story unfolds as one watches the effects of sin and judgment intertwined in the lives of the characters. I imagine most of us can relate to being one of the judgmental accusers anticipating the branding with the hot iron in hand, We can also relate to the one having to wear the scarlet letter and the weight of the shame and guilt that comes with being found out in our sin. Whether it’s an “A”, an “L”, an “S” or a “V”, there are a multitude of letters we have been branded with by others, or chosen for ourselves. “L” for looser, “S” for single, “V” for victim, just to name a few.
I actually have a photograph of myself and a friend of mine and we’re posing with our thumb and forefinger in the shape of an “L” on our foreheads. We had branded ourselves as losers. We would even call each other loser. At first it was kind of funny in a sick sort of way, but then when it starts searing in, it hurts. Anorexic, obese, alcoholic, junkie, stupid, idiot, liar, cheater are all red hot words that when heard enough have the ability to sear your heart and scar your brain, It is so important to watch what we say, especially to children. Because I believe that often is where the problems start. “So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself.” James 3:5-6
It only takes a spark It only takes a spark To get a fire going And soon all those around Can warm up in the glowing That’s how it is with God’s love Once you’ve experienced it You’ll spread His love To everyone You’ll want to pass it on
What a wondrous time is spring When all the trees are budding The birds begin to sing The flowers start their blooming That’s how it is with God’s love Once you’ve experienced it You’ll want to sing It’s fresh like spring You’ll want to pass it on
I wish for you my friend This happiness that I’ve found You can depend on Him It matters not where you’re bound I’ll shout it from the mountain top I want the world to know The Lord of Love Has come to me I want to pass it on 113
Waking up in God’s House...
You are CHOSEN 4 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. Jeff goes to the animal shelter. There is a room full of puppies. Squiggly, noisy, furry, appealing little things, but he is looking for something special. “Is this all you have?” he asks, then is taken to another area. Here there are older puppies, and among them is an easy going pup with big soft paws and golden fur. “That one!” Jeff says. Not exactly like that, but God chose you, and you are special to Him. God chose you! He brought you home to himself. When you first open your eyes in the morning, smile and remember that you are loved. You are ADOPTED 5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. Craig and Valerie decided to adopt children. They found two babies that needed special care and took them into their home. After caring for them for months, they filed all the legal documents necessary to fully adopt them, and went before a judge to finalize the arrangements. With great pleasure, they nurtured and raised those two babies as their very own. God adopted you and brought you home to himself. You live in His house, and He has shared everything 114
Ephesians 1:4-8
with you as his family. Go out every day with great pleasure, remembering that you belong to Him. You are FORGIVEN 6 So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.[b] 7 He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. John chose his own way, a way that led him away from his family and especially his Dad. For many years he wandered and floundered. At last he realized how much he had left behind. He came back into the family circle, and his Dad welcomed him and helped him establish a stable home and relationships. God watched you as you wandered your own way, and welcomed you home with forgiveness and love when you were ready for Him. Live every moment with all those around you, extending love and forgiveness just as you have received. You are BLESSED 8 He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. Mom dresses Lizzy in her favorite tshirt with the buffalo on it. Lizzy sits at the kitchen table with markers and sheets of paper. Mom shows her how to make letters that spell her very own name. Later Mom reads her a book, and then another book. Mom gives her lunch. Mom tucks her in for a nap. Mom hugs Lizzy
when she wakes up, and they take a walk outside. Mom tells her about trees and flowers and cars and friends and everything she every wanted to know.
You are a child of God and you wake up every morning in God’s house. That’s who you are.
Be a child. Receive from God all the kindness, understanding and wisdom He imparts to you day after day. Thank Him for all your blesssings.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you Describe God’s “brand” or “seal” upon a believer.
How could God’s seal or brand on you transform your life?
Are we authentic in the brand we wear? How so?
This verse or phrase tells me I am valuable and worthy
What experiences in your life have branded you? Will you still allow that to identify you? Confront it today.
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CHAPTER 17 HOW I HAVE BRANDED MYSELF
Comparing Myself With Others Think it over and write it down: Why do we compare ourselves to others?
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Who is setting the bar? A quote by Theodore Roosevelt is used frequently in articles about comparing ourselves to others. He said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” When I read this to my husband, he promptly added so brilliantly, “And leads to the root of jealousy.” Both are accurate statements and proof of the destructive outcome of The Fall. Cain compared his offering to his bother Abel’s, Sarah compared herself to Hagar, Leah to Rachel, Saul to David and the disciples compared themselves against each other. We can’t seem to escape measuring ourselves to others around 116
us, and often the people we’re measuring ourselves against are models, movie stars and millionaires. How ridiculous is that? Culture constantly sets standards for us to measure up to. Everyone wants what they don’t or can’t have. More money, a bigger house, a cooler car, more recognition, better features, less fat, it never stops. It seems that it keeps us self-centered as we allow ourselves to be led - goal of down the road of self-gratification with the KS TRUC self-achievement. Look what R I did! ight lane only
And where is God fitting into this picture? It becomes so dangerous when we set the bar for ourselves to go beyond what our neighbor, friend or co-worker has. There is nothing wrong with doing the best we can do, but when we start spending money we don’t have, or taking on two or three jobs to keep up with the Jones’ or, heaven forbid, start embezzling money, things are out of control. Before we go telling someone, especially a child, “Why can’t you be more like _______?” we should rethink it before the words come out. Why? The most important reason is when we say those words, we are invalidating God’s lovingly and uniquely made creation. We might as well be saying, “I don’t like you the way you are. So-and-so is better than you.” No wonder so many
of us are so messed up! We didn’t get a chance to be cultivated into the healthy and flourishing child that God intended us to be. But even if there was no positive, insightful encouragement coming from a human being, I believe God has the power to heal us and help us grow towards becoming His fearfully and wonderfully made child, with flaws in place to keep me anchored to Him. Galatians 6:4-5, Be sure to do what you should for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.
Truly a Course Correct Comparing ourselves with others…. Why do we do that? The older I get the less I am interested in what someone else is doing or thinking. I am doing well to focus on me and my relationship with God…. Bingo! That is the answer right there, my relationship with God and what He thinks and what He desires for me to be doing or saying is what really matters. Key: Who I am in Christ…that is totally what is important. Col. 3:12-15 Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with
tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are all called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the words of Christ, in all their richness live in your hearts and make you wise. Use his words to teach and counsel each other. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you 117
do or say, let it be as a representative of the Lord Jesus, all the while giving thanks through him to God for the Father.
my choosing and doing. I can walk in confidence of being victorious rather than being controlled by what others think, or do, or even say. I am free.
If I apply this scripture to my heart and life…I can be at peace with who I am and what I am doing and I find myself, not being concerned about anyone else but what my role as believer needs to be. I am way too busy focusing on Jesus and what He expects, to being concerned with comparing my life to anyone else’s…it really is the solution.
It has taken me years to live in this, but it all centers around what it really means to live as a Forgiven Person…moving forward at a pace of contentment and joy.
Living my life in step with the Spirit and His will changes it all. It is truly a Course Correct and I am enjoying whatever He has for me to be and do. The peace of God then rules my thinking, my feelings, and
Col. 3:2-4 Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about the things down here on earth. For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ who is your real life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all His Glory.
Compare yourself to yourself
NO CLONES IN GOD’S FAMILY It is just useless to compare one’s self to another. First, look at the perspective. Is the comparison with a person or situation that is better than yours or worse than yours? There is always someone more beautiful, someone who has more income, someone who has more advantages, someone who has more talent, someone who is more loved. BUT- there is alway someone less attractive, someone with very little income, someone who has many disadvantages, someone who has limited intellect and talent, and someone that has been left alone and lonely. When 118
you compare yourself to another person, why pick that particular one? Look around a little and get a true perspective on yourself. Then, there is the matter of fairness. Life isn’t fair. It is impossible that you should have everything someone else has. There are lots of circumstances, reasons and motivators that change the outcome from person to person. It is useless to ask, “Why me?”. The Bible teaches us to mind our own business. Galatians 6: 4-5 Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well
done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. 5 For we are each responsible for our own conduct. There’s a paradox in this. We are one body, one church, one bride of Christ. But we are not the same, and each of us has a unique and particular part of the whole. God didn’t create robots or clones. He created individuals. He chose a sliver of time within eternity to place that being, and a specific location where that being would be placed. He did this, as Paul explains in Acts 17. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their
lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ If we compare ourselves to others, and desire their attributes or advantages, we are looking the wrong way. Instead, we need to lift our eyes to God and petition Him for everything we lack or need. Think about comparing yourself to what God has intended you to be. Compare yourself to yourself! Are you all you can possibly be or become? There is great satisfaction and peace in the realization that you are the creative effort of God, that you belong to Him, and that there is not a clone anywhere, anytime that can match you.
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you How can you be a positive influence on somebody’s life?
How is it possible to deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Jesus?
This verse or phrase teaches me how to think about myself compared to others
What do you like about yourself?
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CHAPTER 18 HOW I HAVE BRANDED MYSELF
Looking in the Mirror Think it over and write it down: What do you expect to see when you look in the mirror?
Chosen for a reason.
I’m amazed that some people spend so much time looking in the mirror. I’m not really sure I understand why? Do they admire themselves or are they preparing themselves so others will admire them or is it both? Maybe they spend time at the mirror to transform themselves into something they are not. On the other hand, some of us spend very little time in front of a mirror. Why is that? Perhaps we don’t like what we see or maybe we feel primping time could be time better spent. The mirror and I have never really been friends. It tells you the naked truth. You can see every zit, every wrinkle, every scar, every cellulite dimple, every gray hair and every roll of fat. 120
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Don’t get me wrong, I do admire beauty, as does all the world. Some people spend hundreds or thousands to become more beautiful…or attempt to stay beautiful. When we ponder the statement, “Beauty is only skin deep”, it seems society validates that and has little to no interest looking at inner beauty. Outward appearances ALWAYS make the first impression. This was the case for the beautiful young Jewish orphan named Esther. You can read the book of Esther in the Old Testament. Much of the story revolves around beauty. The story begins when King Xerxes threw a party of all parties that lasted six months. One day
while the wine was flowing, the King ordered Queen Vashti to come to him so all his entourage could gaze on her beauty. When she refused to display herself, it didn’t end well for her. She was banished from the king and a search began throughout the entire empire to find and bring all the most beautiful young virgins to the King. “As a result of the King’s decree, Esther, along with many other young women, was brought to the King’s harem at the fortress of Susa and placed in Hegai’s care. Hegai was very impressed with Esther and treated her kindly. He quickly ordered a special menu for her and provided her with beauty treatments. He also assigned her seven maids specially chosen from the King’s palace, and he moved her and her maids into the best place in the harem. Esther had not told anyone of her nationality and family background, for Mordecai (her cousin) had told her not to. Before each young woman was taken to the King, she was given the prescribed twelve months of beauty treatments (wait – what – REALLY?!) six months with oil of myrrh, followed by six months with special perfumes and ointments. When the time came for her to go in to the King, she was given her choice of whatever clothing or jewelry she wanted to enhance her beauty.” Esther 2:8-10, 12-13 So for those of us that can’t afford the “royal treatment” or don’t meet society’s standards of affordable beauty, is it possible to have a healthy self image? Obviously, the answer is yes, because there are people who seem to do it everyday. Even so, there are some of us who struggle with the image in the mirror. Perhaps Esther faced her own struggles? Her beauty and loveliness won her the crown and position of queen but she was hiding the big secret of her heritage. I wonder what she saw when she looked in the mirror? Would she
be able to hide her heritage to remain queen? Was her confidence in her beauty or the God of her ancestors? The story takes a nightmarish turn when Haman, who managed to get promoted to prime minister, allowed his self image and prejudice to run a fiery course. Mordecai refused to bow down or show respect to Haman and because of Mordecai’s rebellion, Haman’s rage became targeted at Jews. He convinced King Xerxes to exterminate all Jews on a specific date. Queen Esther found out through the grapevine about the decree and was faced with making the decision of who she saw in the mirror. Mordecai urged Esther to plead for mercy but Esther was gripped by fear and the possibility of death. Mordecai told Esther in chapter 4:13-14, “Don’t think for a moment that you will escape there in the palace when all other Jews are killed. If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. What’s more, who can say but that you have been elevated to the palace for just such a time as this?” Esther asked Mordecai to have all the Jews fast three days and nights for her. She must have come to the realization that her true identity as a chosen one of God gave her the strength, courage and willingness to die for the possibility of saving her people. I encourage you to read the rest of the dramatic story, and spend some time in front of the mirror. Regardless of how we view ourselves are we willing to believe that we have been chosen for a reason? “God bore you for His purpose – not ours. Focusing UCKSfor- our on ourselves will never reveal T out Rpurpose ly existence.” Right lane on 121
Dress in your blessings
REFLECTIONS Mirrors are brutally honest. I don’t care to spend very much time facing one, because I tend to focus on my flaws rather than admire what I see. I never ask “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” But it is necessary to consult my reflection when I brush my hair or apply a bit of makeup. I need a mirror to check if the top I chose to wear is loose enough to hide the rolls around my waist. I appreciate that I have the option to make a change when needed. The Word of God is like a mirror. It is necessary for me to evaluate my relationship with the Lord. It balances my experiences in several ways. • If I am feeling guilty, I find absolution and peace. • When I am unsure of my direction, I find guidance through its precepts. • In times of grief or discouragement, there is comfort and assurance. • When stress has infiltrated my every moment I receive release.
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The book of James explains this phenomenon: But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. James 1:22-25 The instruction in these verses tell me first that I need to come to the Word. I need to read it and hear God’s voice in the pages. God’s spirit speaks to my spirit through the scriptures. Then, as I reenter my environment, there is caution to remember what I learned. I am to dress in my blessings, and wear them all day long, confident that in God’s eyes, I look great. The reflection from God’s Word will accompany me in all I do for myself and for others around me. As Michael Jackson so melodically wrote: I’m starting with the man in the mirror I’m asking him to change his ways And no message could have been any clearer If you want to make the world a better place
Looking at life through the rear view mirror
We cannot move forward with any measurable speed if we are constantly looking at where we have been and what happened back when…and allowing the past to set the tone for the present and the future. It will not benefit anyone. The children of Israel kept remembering the leeks and the garlic, and the things they enjoyed eating in Egypt, but they didn’t mention the slavery and building the cities with bricks and straw…how difficult it was and how enslaved they were. Today, we call that selective memory. We remember only some parts of our past and that can go both ways, but sometimes we choose to only remember the bad things when we think of the past. We can’t possibly move forward with a distorted view of the past. If we expect to live as Forgiven People…then that is what we must do. My sins have all been forgiven and they are as far as the east is from the west…then I should live in that freedom and allow God’s forgiveness to cover me and pronounce me Holy because of the righteousness of Christ that is in me. What a freeing concept. Free to be whatever God intends for me to be and free to walk in that freedom on a daily basis. Guilt distorts the past. Unforgiveness of others distorts the past. Hanging on to bitterness and resentment distorts the possibility of living a fruitful life. Truth, trust, forgiveness, release, receive, freedom, fruit, and finally peace and joy! I call these my steps to living in the Present.
The truth sets us free…when we practice and take action! The living word takes us to the next stage of healthy living and the ability to experience the fullness of the Life God Intends for us to live…we do not have to wait for heaven to experience the fruit of the Spirit. It is ours now. Gal. 5:1 So Christ has really set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in the slavery to the law. Gal. 5:16 So I advise you to live according to your new life in the Holy Spirit. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. Gal. 5:22 So when the Holy Spirit controls our live, he will produce this kind of fruit in us, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law. Rom. 8:1 and 2 So now, there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death. Doesn’t this sound more like the life you want for yourself and the others in your life. WE ARE FREE IN CHRIST FROM THE REAR VIEW MIRROR SYNDROME. 123
Unpacking your bags... How have you begun to see the image in the mirror being used for God’s purpose?
How is the Bible like a mirror for your life?
How can you find freedom from past negative experiences?
This verse or phrase helps me remember how to be content
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CHAPTER 19 HOW I HAVE BRANDED MYSELF
The Total Person Think it over and write it down: What number, on a scale of 1-10, do you think you are in the matter of being a total person... and why? (10 being highest)
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I am His and He is Mine The Total Person, what in the world does that mean? Aren’t we all fearfully and wonderfully made and made in the image of God…Are we asking Complete and Total to mean the same thing? I am not sure but I do know this, God doesn’t do anything in a half-way, careless, not finished way. Purpose is part of who we are…Being able to think and communicate puts up there on the food chain. People who feel inadequate or not all that they can be don’t think well about themselves. God doesn’t make junk. God gives all of us opportunities and he gives us gifts and personalities and gives us all potential.
Quoting some of the verses from: Ps. 139: O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. I can never escape from your spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go down to the place of the dead, you are there. How precious are your thoughts about me. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it. 125
When I focus on God and my view of Him is not distorted my own sense of who I am in Christ comes into play. I am His and He is mine. When my thinking is clear and focused, I am safe and I am not fearful. I am at peace. I guess that is the total person. I guess that is as good as it ever gets and my sense of hope and my future is sound and stable. Who I am in Christ is key! Ps. 144:3 O LORD what are mortals that you should notice us, mere humans that you should care for us? He is our God and He cares for us…all the time. In the midst of our trials, in the midst of our testings, the times we feel most vulnerable. He is with us. I keep wanting my life to somehow be different, but then I look at everyone in the scriptures and there are no perfect people or perfect lives. Suffering is often the thing that identifies us with the Lord. “Unless we suffer with him, we cannot understand the suffering that he experienced for us in order to have the great life we have. I can do nothing without Him, nothing. I have been created to depend and need him. Left to ourselves we are most miserable.
But God… I am so grateful to be his child…He is my Father and what he says about me is the best thing I have going for me. It is all that matters. Ps. 146:3 Don’t put your confidence in powerful people there is no help for you there. Ps. 146:6-9 He is the one who made heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them. He is the one who keeps every promise forever. Who gives justice to the oppressed and food to the hungry. The LORD frees the prisoners. The LORD opens the eyes of the blind. The LORD lifts the burdens of those bent beneath their load. The LORD loves the righteous. The LORD protects the foreigners among us. He cares for the orphans and the widows, but he frustrates the plans of the wicked. God cares for the total person. He cares for the broken person and the total person. Oh how He loves you and me…… Who we are….From our Hearts to yours!
Love. Seems too simple. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Deuteronomy 6:5, Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27
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It’s interesting to note this verse is both in the Old and New Testaments. Must be important. In fact, Jesus says it’s the most important commandment. I
confess, I can’t wrap my head around it. I have never loved anybody like that and furthermore, I don’t think I would even have the ability to do so. I’ve always felt like I was defective in the love department. As if this commandment weren’t so difficult to live out (for me anyway), Jesus continues to tell us, “A second
equally important (commandment): ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the other commandments and al the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Seems too simple. It really boils down to love. God is love. When we agree to have only one God, THE God who created the universe, THE God who created you and me in His own likeness, THE God who sent his only Son to die for us so that we could spend eternity with Him, we can begin to understand the big picture a little better. God chose to create us because He is relational. He created Eve for Adam so he wouldn’t be alone…all about relationship. His love for us is the most intense love there is. He tells us in Deuteronomy 5:9, “I, the Lord you God, am a jealous God who will not share your affection with any other god.” He goes on to say, “I lavish my love on those who love me and obey my commands…” He wants to protect me, provide for me and love me lavishly. His desire for us is to love him
with all our heart, soul, mind and strength — the total person — mental, spiritual and physical. I am so blessed that God has provided me with a wonderful husband who continually shows me what unconditional love looks like. Rick thinks I am beautiful, even though I look in the mirror and wonder what he sees? He tells me, “Have I told you today, I love you?” Every night when we pray he tells God, “Thank you for my wonderful wife, Kathy.” He is living out Ephesians 5:25, “You husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church.” My wonderful husband is truly a gift from God. Rick’s loving words and actions are a healing ointment on my many years of mental and physical abuse. Rick’s love is helping me to have a clear, correct understanding of God’s love for me. I can feel my icy heart melt as God helps me to love Him, and all those He puts in my journey with the same grace that has been given to me. God is showing me how to love myself so I can love others.
In... or out? Life’s Essential Meaning: “On the road” to Glory and incomprehensible eternity. Is it the truth that religion is an opiate for the soul? ___ yes ___ no ___ maybe ___ if certain conditions exist (check one or as many as you think apply) Write down your brief response to why or why not —
or why you are somewhat confused, or…oh sorry… you never did like these kind of questions. If this pains you too much, you may skip to the next (and last!) seven (7). If you choose to skip all annoying inquiries — turn off your mind — ignore them…but they will demand attention at some point in time. Warming up for the adventure: What do you think about the following? 127
• 1 ~In the beginning God created… Genesis 1:1 • 2 ~ Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.’ Genesis 1:26 • 3 ~ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 • 4 ~The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden…And the Lord commanded the man, saying, ‘You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.’ Genesis 2:16-17 • 5 ~And the man and his wife were both naked and not ashamed. Genesis 2:25 Expect a Reward: Read and think about Genesis 1:1 - 3:24 The awesome beginning of nights and days spent with God…enjoying talking together – face to face…when harmony, beauty, peace and love just were — everything in the universe created with purposeful perfection. Warning! [Radical Crisis] From, not ashamed to hiding; blaming; arguing; complaining; holding grudges; telling lies; covering up smoldering “what ifs” never ending the spreading of sickening ash and flames; and…even murder. So here we are…we all feel and experience the pain and brokenness we inherited from Adam and Eve to this very day… each of us needs life-renewing care and compassion and healing…true “fixers”, mediators (not meddlers), physicians, pastors, friends — to walk and talk and be with us. This very day and ff: Treasures are waiting to be found by you in the New Testament.
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• 6 ~John 1:1-5; 9-14 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. All things were made through him, and without him was not
anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it… The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God who were born not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man but of God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. • 7 ~John 14:6 Jesus said…’I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’ Life’s essential Meaning: Just in case you haven’t wondered about any of the ideas/words in this book, I can assure you — speaking for myself (1/4 of the writer’s team) — you and I are very much alike… pitifully so. If your eyes have started rolling, it just might be “teenager-syndrome” meaning: disbelief,…boredom,…here we go — AGAIN,…simply tired, wornout,,…sleep deprived,…or an annoying contrary face ~ in your space! Adults of both sexes have caught this attitude with ease and proficiency. Why? — It works! Far superior to pretending or high-fives when you might have to actually touch someone you don’t even want to be mistaken about befriending. ~ Another way of building your own protective boundaries comes from our youthful generation: Put your face into your screen of your currently favored hand-held electronic device — obviously, much too busy to be interrupted. My life has been long and very full…many years to experience many roads and relationships…following is my unsolicited assessment: This crazy world is messy — it’s treacherous!…Just like trying to survive in a mess of
a pig-slop pen…when you much prefer to be known as a prig than a pig. To learn what “pig” or “prig” style of living means: Read Luke 15:11-31. Do you see glimpses (tho’ probably distorted) of anything…you recognize as relevant to your life…or a spark to ignite the “whatifs”…”What if ” you are like any of the humans in this Biblical writing? Are you? Which ones? If, for any reason you might be thinking this writer lives a life that’s all mapped out — gloriously free — of temptation(s), failure(s), road blocks, and pitfalls, — void of most meandering and wallowing in fear, guilt, and shame — all you truly need is to hear me out — ~ O.K. – so you think it’s o.k. — when one believes your #1 criteria…to convince yourself (and others) everything is perfectly o.k. according to your (and the whole universe’s) amazing reality…it works! Meaning: To mess with your message — your total personhood insures Total Disaster and Destruction! But…”what if ”…as God says – John 1:14 (The Message) The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood. We saw the glory with our own eyes, the one-of-a-kind glory, like Father, like Son, generous inside and out, true from start to finish. 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 (The Message) – May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, put you together — spirit, soul, and body — and keep you fit for the coming of our Master Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it! My “what-ifs” don’t mess up my “stinkin’ thinkin’” much any more…It’s more glorious and transforming becoming like the One I believe and trust and love because he first loved me. Do my many days on this
earth have any meaning? Absolutely! And in growing abundance. In heaven I have only you, and on this earth you are all I want. My body and mind may fail, but you are my strength and choice forever. Psalm 73:25-26 CEV Compared to the high privilege of knowing of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, first hand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant – dog dung. Don’t miss the meaning: God the Father ~ no one can see Him with our human eyes – He’s Spirit – yes, He exists. God - the Son ~ He was born – Mary’s baby boy – in human flesh (Savior – created by His Father through the Holy Spirit.) A primary purpose was to save sinners from all ages — for all eternity. Because Jesus counted it JOY to keep His promise, He sealed it by shedding His own blood on the cross made from a tree — but then, He was sealed in a rock tomb with a huge, heavy stone rolled in front…scrupulously guarded by Roman Soldiers. Over Kill?…for a dead body that truly was dead ~ obvious to all…and not going anywhere. So – then the dilemma – even to this very day…argued in courts and tribunals, in every language on the earth…Where is the body? Whose body? Why did it go anywhere? Why didn’t it just stay Our need for where it was put? Does it all have to God’s help be signed, sealed and delivered to be is TOTAL proven? Just give up in disbelief or fear or try seeing it with the eyes of Jesus from the cross. Let Jesus have His way with YOU! Turn around…talk to Him (anything that bothers you bout Him) He wants you to truly know Him…not merely to know about Him. Jesus Himself, spoke these last words from the cross before He died ~ It is finished. Believers mourn and pray over the lack of peace _ nonbelievers too – no finger pointing (or weapons)… to be victorious — Jesus finished that…alone by
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Himself. Jesus paid the debt we owe for our sin… which He knows is the enemy and thief of His true peace from human hearts. Jesus paid the debt we owe for our sin…and can never repay — no matter how we “spin it”…our very own, self-made Wheel of Fortune. Only Jesus already proved the point of it all – He died – for all who would believe ~ every person…from every tribe and nation - from the beginning of time. There is now no condemnation. We are victorious…because His Love triumphs over all. Let God have His way ~ Let it all go. The total Person ~ has found Meaning and Purpose…for life now…and…for eternity. May you experience His Purpose ~ unbelievable and never “boring” ~~~”Glorify God and Enjoy Him forever.” How? Now that’s a query Only He answers…in part. I know for sure, only what I do know…but it’s truly a perplexing mystery… Deuteronomy 29:29 ESV The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and our children forever…
Power of Love transcends Love of Power
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It’s time to say THE END — while knowing its real meaning: THE BEGINNING of the rest of the days of life on planet earth and God’s Reality for your life… forever. One final question — to You “what if ” everything God or Jesus says is True? The Total Makeover is currently available ~ tho’ time is limited…Do you want your name…written in the Book of Life? ~~~ Whatever is in heaven – I can’t give you proof of chocolate kisses or even any chocolate – it will be all for the most lavish Wedding Banquet… prepared for only those who truly want to be there… pre-signed up while on earth…not wanting to miss being there – celebrating with the bridegroom – Jesus! ~ energized by the amazing power He sparks by the Light of His Love.
Are you in ____ or… out ____ ?
You will be made complete
The Ultimate Christian, fully matured in body, spirit and mind. As the apostle Paul nurtured his flock of believers in the early church, he described to them the goal of the fully experienced Christian life: Ephesians 3: 14-18 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God Describe to yourself what you believe is a picture of yourself as a completed, victorious Christian. LEAVE OUT all the following references: • Regular Bible study and meditation • Obedience to cultural and religious customs. • A thorough knowledge of the Word of God, Old Testament and New Testament. • Pleasant relationships with family and friends. • Regular attendance and interaction with a local church. • Victory over all your personal addictions, weaknesses and frailties.
• Kindness to the poor and needy. • Service in Christian ministries. Paul’s description of a life complete and full of God’s power included all these things: • The Father’s GLORIOUS and UNLIMITED RESOURCES •The empowerment of INNER STRENGTH • Deep ROOTS into the love of God. • The understanding of the DIMENSIONS of God’s incredible love. • The EXPERIENCE of Christ’s love. • The FULLNESS of a complete life that comes from God Himself to you. If it is your desire and hope that you might become all God wants you to be... There is only one component to focus upon. Not self. But the love of Christ alone. He, who created you, who loves you, who pursues you, who empowers you, He accepts you in this moment, as His beloved child exactly as you are. 131
Unpacking your bags... Underline phrases in the text that are important to you How is complete different from perfect?
What one word describes the total person?
Write a response for God’s provisions for you through it all.
This verse or phrase inspires me toward spiritual maturity
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SECTION 6
REVIEW
Summing up the journey... How are you going “Through it all�? Some questions to consider:
How has the waiting room experience given you insights to your personal growth process?
Why do we hesitate getting professional or spiritual help when we reach a place of stagnation in our growth process?
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SECTION 6
REVIEW, CONTINUED
Summing up the journey... How does contentment coincide with incentive and motivation.
When you take responsibility for your choices, what are you afraid of?
When does comparing ourselves with others hinder our spiritual growth?
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Through it all...
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Who we are….
From our Hearts to yours! The journey is different for all of us. My friends and I over a period of time around the table have gotten together and discussed and written about topics we have pondered along the way and decided to bring to you the benefits of our personal experiences and the truth of God’s Word. No Journey happens without a GPS or a Roadmap…but even better, is when you can actually ask for directions along the way and be assured that someone has travelled that path before and can give you some pointers of what pitfalls to avoid during the journey.
This book was written by four friends....
We have logged in a few miles along the way and hope you experience some of the excitement we had on Wednesday mornings with coffee cups in hand and open Bibles. Our friendships have grown, we have prayed through difficult times for all of us…Disappointments, health issues, discerning the will of God in the midst of being caught up in circumstances and best of all…learning that anything for certainty comes from the Word of God…The only Truth. So come along with us…grab your coffee or tea…or your water bottle and put on your reading glasses! The Tour Guide, the Holy Spirit will help you find the bread crumbs along the way! Get together with a few friends and share discussions. At the beginning and end of each chapter, we have written questions that come directly from our writings... we hope they will inspire you to write your own insights as you travel “through it all” as well! -Edna
ISBN 9780966890655
136
9 780966 890655