December Issue of The Glasgow Guardian

FROM ARCHAIC TO FAMOUS EXAMINING THE RISING POPULARITY OF GAELIC - PAGE 18 3 December 2020

YES SIR, WE CAN BOOGIE

70S RECIPE: CHICKEN DISH IT INVOLVES AN AWFUL LOT OF MAYONNAISE AND MAY BE A WAR CRIME? - PAGE 20

MAX KELLY ON THE PROPOSED ANTHEM FOR THE EUROS - PAGE 30

THE OFFICIAL STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF GLASGOW, INDEPENDENTLY INFORMING SINCE 1932

Issue 4 | Free

Students are still waiting on promised support from University, three months later Jasmine Urquhart INVESTIGATIONS EDITOR

The Glasgow Guardian can reveal that the University of Glasgow has failed to deliver on its promise to support students living in university-owned accommodation, during the autumn semester. In a survey circulated by Glasgow University Student Tenants Union (GUSTU), students answered that they had been given inadequate or no welfare support and that some are still yet to receive the financial compensation that they were promised.

The survey, circulated by GUSTU in November, found some students in halls had not received the four-week rent rebate and £50 in compensation by the University, which had been promised to them at the start of the semester. A quarter of students surveyed stated that they had received none of the promised financial compensation. It comes after the University announced at the start of the semester that they would provide extra support for students who were self-isolating in halls. The principal, Anton Muscatelli, had promised students that the “significant extra support measures” would include a four-week rent rebate and £50 to spend on local food deliveries.

A spokesperson from GUSTU commented on the support measures: “Results prove that [the support measures] were not real attempts to help students through the mire in which the University placed them, but to simply save as much face as possible and avoid the vocal backlash which UofG was facing across social media and the press.

“The initial response saw food trucks arriving at Murano Street, initially handing out free food and then selling after the first weekend. Thereafter and elsewhere bland food deliveries which failed to meet many dietary and some nutritional re-

quirements became the extent of physical support. Attempts to beat back calls for a rent strike saw serious concessions from management, which amounts to both an admission of their folly and real fears about the potential power of a student body united in anger against them.”

In addition to the financial support, the University stated that they would provide “proactive welfare calls’’ to isolating students. However, nearly half of the students surveyed said that they had received no such calls.

Of those who stated that they had received calls, three-quarters of students said that the calls had been unhelpful. It is unclear what would constitute a proactive welfare call, but an FOI request stated that staff are given “an information sheet detailing the mental health resources available to students including; self-help information, details of how to access the counselling service, external services and Togetherall”. The University told The Glasgow Guardian: “We made 2,500 proactive welfare calls during the outbreak in halls in case we could offer help during a difficult time. In addition, we introduced a comprehensive package of support for everyone in residences, including delivering 10,000 free hot meals, a four-week rent rebate and £50 for food and supplies.”

Freshers’ told GUSTU that the University has been implementing a red card and yellow card disciplinary system. One submission stated that the University “tried to silence us by threatening us with yellow cards if we put messages on our windows asking for help, among other things”. The University of Glasgow contested this: “The red and yellow card system was proposed

by Universities Scotland some months ago. We have never oper-

Credit: AJ Duncan - Illustrator ated it at the University.”

Students also answered that they had not received pandemic guidance by the University of Glasgow. Over half of the students surveyed said that the University’s pandemic support had not been clearly signposted and available to them. 80% of students answered that the autumn semester had put a strain on their mental health, and three quarters answered that they were unsatisfied with Glasgow University’s mental health service. Additionally, 57% of students answered that they had been sleeping poorly, terribly, or not at all. In an FOI submitted by

The Glasgow Guardian, the University stated that the Counselling Services had been given no additional funding to cope with this academic year.

The Glasgow Guardian found that “452 students are currently registered with the counselling service for ongoing therapy or Mental Health Advisor services”.

These appointments are currently offered by video link or telephone, but “this is under ongoing review” according to the FOI. At the start of the pandemic, 168 students declined the offer of remote therapy, and “of that 168, 37 specified that their decision was due to the pandemic”.

The Glasgow Guardian asked the University how they would support student mental health during the second semester.

They responded: “We will ensure that during semester two we’re working within the Scottish government guidance so that students can have the best possible experience, whilst keeping safe and well. This will involve blended learning, prioritising access to campus for subjects that require face-to-face teaching and we hope to be able to run a programme of sports and some events, as was the case this term.

This will increase as the Scottish Continued on Page 2

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“Counselling Services had been given no additional funding to cope with this academic year...”

Continued from Page 1 government’s guidance permits.”

They added that students should make use of the Counselling Services and Togetherall, or raise issues through Living Support Assistants.

In a Scottish government briefing held in November, further and higher education minister Richard Lochead announced: “All known positive cases among university students since the start of term [are] estimated to be around 1.5%.” However, in the same briefing, he said “between 60,000 and 80,000” students at Scottish Universities are expected to return home for Christmas.

To cope with this, the University is offering students a “lateral flow Covid-19 test which is voluntary and free of charge.

The spokesperson for GUSTU said: “The University of Glasgow’s failure to make any significant preparations for the return of students to the city shows the disregard with which halls students have been treated since the start of the semester… the University’s senior managers took no proactive steps at all to support and make amends for their irresponsible decision making, and when they did take action it was only in a face-saving attempt to quell growing calls for a rent strike in Murano Street. This response makes clear that the University’s attempts to improve the situation only came about as a bare-faced public relations response to growing public furore and potential lost revenue.”

University announces guidance on travel for holiday period Matilda Handley NEWS EDITOR

Following the announcement from the Scottish government about travelling during the holiday period, the University announced that they are committed to follow these measures.

In recent communications, the University has given further guidance on Covid-19 testing for asymptomatic students.

As part of these recommendations, the University claims they will make welfare a top priority by giving clear early advice and support and staggering departures, as well as by following general Covid-19 restrictions - including having a two week reduced social mixing period be-

fore leaving.

Testing for asymptomatic students will take place between 30 November and 11 December on the main campus. Students at the Dumfries campus will be offered their own testing process, details of which will be issued soon.

Tests will have to be booked in advance for a time to attend a testing centre. The University will be giving further information on how to book soon.

The tests are free of charge and available to any UofG student, undergraduate or postgraduate. Students will only be able to take tests if they intend to travel during the holiday period and are currently asymptomatic, having not tested positive for Covid-19 in the last 90 days.

The test is a Lateral Flow antigen test, which uses a saliva swab to detect the presence or absence of coronavirus. These are quicker than PCR tests, producing a result within 30 minutes and do not require a laboratory to be processed.

The lateral flow process requires two separate swab tests, completed three days apart. If either of these returns positive, students will be asked to book a confirmatory test via NHS Inform. Even if both tests return negative, students will still need to isolate if another member of their household tests positive.

If students develop symptoms at any point, they are recommended to follow the NHS Inform online guidance.

49% of UofG students do not plan on getting a lateral flow Covid-19 test The survey also found that 40% of students felt they didn’t understand how the testing process worked Holly Jennings EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

A survey conducted by The Glasgow Guardian has found that 49% of students are not planning on getting the lateral flow Covid-19 tests offered by the University this winter. The survey questioned 100 students about their plans for journeying home over the festive break.

“‘I think the University needs to take into account that the term doesn’t finish for all students on the exact same date’...”

Of the students surveyed, 88% said they are planning on travelling home for Christmas.

A further 40% of students felt they didn’t understand how the process of lateral flow testing worked.

Earlier this month, the Scottish government announced they would be implementing a mass Covid-19 testing scheme in an effort to get students home for Christmas. It is estimated that up

to 80,000 students will be travelling home for the winter break, with many moving across different tiered areas. The widespread testing has been introduced to control possible outbreaks.

The lateral flow testing is due to take place at the University of Glasgow between 30 November and 11 December. Students at the University of Glasgow and Glasgow School of Art will be eligible to receive the tests, as long as they do not have Covid-19 symptoms or have tested positive for the virus in the last 90 days.

Students also must not have been identified as having been a close contact of someone who has tested positive for Covid-19. The testing scheme will utilize a new rapid test currently being used in Liverpool, which delivers a Covid-19 test result in 15-20 minutes. Students will need to take two tests, three days apart. If both tests are negative, students will be allowed to travel. If either test comes back positive, students will need to isolate for two weeks before returning home.

Some students have already begun the process of the lateral flow testing. Tara Gandhi, a fourth-year Politics student, has already had the first of her two tests, with her second happening later this week. She told The Glasgow Guardian, “I’m getting the test because I worry about passing it on unknowingly, and it’s a long train journey home for me, so I could be a risk. Also, if I have a negative test that I can show to my parents, that will

put them at ease, so I don’t have to isolate in my bedroom.” She complimented the University’s running of the system: “My first test has come back negative, and I got my result in under an hour after completing the test.

“‘I wouldn’t want to do exams at my parents’ house or to travel in the middle of them’...”

I was in complete shock at how efficient the system is.” However, there have been concerns about the accuracy of the test. A study

by Public Health England’s Porton Down laboratory and the University of Oxford suggests that the sensitivity of the test dropped from 79% to 58% when it was used by self-trained members of the public rather than the scientists. The largest academic union in the UK, The University and College Union (UCU), has also expressed its concerns to The Observer about the testing system, labelling it a “recipe for chaos”.

Although the testing has been extended to 11 December, the winter exam diet will last until 18 December. Madeline Pritchard, a

final year Philosophy and Computing Science student, is planning on getting tested, however, she hopes to delay her test as late as possible since she doesn’t plan on travelling home until 20 December: “I’ve got a big essay and a deadline for my final year project on the 18th so I have to be in Glasgow until then! I’m travelling by train which seems like a likely place to catch the virus, so I’m not sure how helpful doing the test before I go is but I figured I should do it anyway.” She added: “Personally, if I had exams, I wouldn’t want to do them at my parents’ house or to travel in the middle of them.” Madeline plans on isolating as much as she can in the period between her second test and her departure home, but is unsure how effective this will be when her flatmates will still be going to work.

Others have made the decision to not get tested at all. The most frequent reason why students were planning on not getting a test was because of other commitments they had in Glasgow beyond the last day of testing.

Holly Ellis, a final year History and English Literature student, falls into this category, as she has made the decision to not get a lateral flow test before going home for Christmas. Whilst she praised the system for being incredibly helpful to students who are in university halls or planning on leaving before the 11 December, she added: “I think the University needs to take into account that the term doesn’t finish

for all students on the exact same date and that other students reside in Glasgow almost yearround. Having the lateral testing extended for even a week or two after the original dates could make a massive difference for students who are unable to travel until the later part of December.”

“Of the students surveyed, 88% said they are planning on travelling home for Christmas...”

Holly’s last deadline isn’t till 18 December and she will be in the library frequently between the end of the testing period: “This means there is still a week before I visit my elderly relatives - as my parents live abroad - where I could catch Covid-19 and be unaware, even if my lateral test comes up negative the week prior. It makes more sense for me to go get an NHS test right before I leave Glasgow.”

Currently, there have been no plans announced for how students will return to campus’ following the Christmas break.

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Railway admin fees suspended for students Ollie Rudden NEWS EDITOR

Students who booked train tickets to travel home before the announcement of the student transfer window can now rebook their tickets without being charged admin fees.

Students who bought an advanced ticket before 11 November for a date of travel after 9 December can now change their tickets to a one during the travel window without paying the fee which can cost up to £10.

Flexible tickets such as anytime or off-peak can already be rebooked without paying an admin fee.

The student travel window was announced by the UK government earlier this month. Lasting from 3 to 9 December, it was created to allow students to return home from university once

England’s lockdown restrictions have been lifted while trying to reduce the spread of Covid-19.

Grant Shapps, secretary of state for transport said: “Students will be eager to be at home with their families after an unprecedented autumn term, and travelling during this window enables them to do so as safely as possible.

“By waiving change of journey fees, they can now rebook their tickets without being left out of pocket.” completed three days apart. If either of these returns positive, students will be asked to book a confirmatory test via NHS Inform. Even if both tests return negative, students will still need to isolate if another member of their household tests positive.

If students develop symptoms at any point, they are recommended to follow the NHS Inform online guidance.

SRC to launch ‘De-Stress at a Distance’ for exams All events are expected to be virtual in line with government regulations for Covid-19 Silas Pease DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR

The SRC have recently announced they will launch the “De-stress at a Distance” campaign alongside other UofG student groups this winter. The campaign is hoped to relieve feelings of stress and anxiety that are common during the exam period, and are likely to be exacerbated this year as Glasgow City will remain in Level 4 for a majority of the exam season.

This news was announced by SRC President Liam Brady in a recent update regarding the city’s move into Level 4. Unlike past exam de-stress campaigns

Credit: GUSRC

coordinated by the SRC, due to current restrictions on meeting indoors, all events are likely to be online.

The SRC recently held a similar campaign for the August exam period this year, which included yoga workout sessions, a virtual tour of the National History Museum in London, and sharing baking recipes. In previous years, in-person events included dance classes, tea and coffee services, and sessions where students could interact with dogs as “therapets”.

More information is expected to be released in the run-up to the exam period.

Glasgow students could have saved over £8,000 staying at home this year Ollie Rudden NEWS EDITOR

New research has revealed students at the University of Glasgow could have saved over £8,000 staying at home this academic year, rather than living on campus.

The figures revealed by Studee, looked into how much money students could have saved staying with parents and guardians this year as most classes take place online, rather than in person.

The data shows that students at Glasgow could have saved a total of £8,148, had they stayed at home since September, and remained there for the following 12 months, saving £679 per month.

These figures take into account the average rent of students at Glasgow, which they say is £444 monthly, as well as transport costs at £52 per month, utility bills at £52 per month, £16 for insurance monthly and £110 on monthly groceries.

The monthly costs at Glasgow are above the national average in Scotland which is £648 monthly, as well as higher than the rest of the

city’s universities such as Strathclyde (£647 monthly), Glasgow Caledonian (£556) and University of the West of Scotland’s Paisley campus (£595) where students at these institutions could have saved the following per month had they remained at home.

“‘I can’t help but feel really sad for the students of 2020 - they’ve been dealt a really bad hand’...”

Glasgow students, however, have it easier than students at Edinburgh and St Andrews, who could have saved £724 and £704 a month respectively staying at home than living on campus.

Laura Rettie, vice president of global communications at education consultancy at Studee, commented on the figures: “Students have had an incred-

ibly difficult year, and it’s easy to understand why they feel so aggrieved - they’ve been told to come to campus, only to be kept in quarantine and taught online.

They could have easily studied at home without spending additional money on top of tuition fees to live close to or on campus.

“It will be interesting to see how many students actually decide to return to campus rather than staying at home after Christmas - I wouldn’t blame them if they opted for the cheaper option of staying with Mum and Dad. I can’t help but feel really sad for the students of 2020 - they’ve been dealt a really bad hand. It’s crucial universities take this additional cost for students into account when the decision is made to move to fully online lectures.

Transparency is vital and decisions need to be communicated early to leave time for students to make arrangements. It’s not fair to leave things to the last minute.

Equally, this is a really difficult time for universities who rely on the income from students to stay afloat and the balancing act is becoming increasingly precarious.”

Legal bid to force universities to refund tuition fees launched Finlay MacDonald WRITER

A legal bid aiming to get university students refunds for their tuition fees due to the changes in teaching formats required because of Covid-19 restrictions was launched on Friday 13 November 2020. This bid is being funded by Refund Students, a campaign which is free for students to join.

“The question is whether the standard of teaching has dropped, a question which will be deeply contested by both sides...”

The legal bid is based on the argument that online learning is an inferior educational experience to the more traditional face-to-face learning that university students could normally expect.

Many students agree that the more old-fashioned in-person teaching approach is more ef-

fective than the necessitated, more modern online approach.

It is particularly noticeable for those studying practical subjects, such as those in scientific fields, where many find it easier to understand and remember a process if you have carried out that experiment yourself, especially compared to watching someone do it on a screen.

They argue this is not just limited to practical subjects though, and every subject benefits from students being able to engage with their surroundings; to pick up on those subtle changes of a lecturer’s voice or body language which can be lost over a small screen or a bad internet connection. This has been recognized by university lecturers in the past, who would often recommend students attend lectures in person, even when lectures were recorded, for the optimal learning experience.

Others have argued these points are moot, noting recorded lectures have improved on what they once were, as the universities have adapted and invested heavily to try and ensure that students get as high a level of education as possible.

Some students even seem to prefer the new format, enjoying the easy access to online resources as well as the new f lexibility it grants, allowing them to work at the time it best suits them.

Refund Students represents a body of students who clearly

believe the level of teaching they are receiving falls below the standard they are paying for, and with petitions gaining over 350,000 signatures across the UK, it is clear a lot of students feel this way. A parliamentary committee agrees with this position and has said students should be refunded, a position which thus far has been refused by universities and the government.

“The legal bid is based on the argument that online learning is an inferior educational experience...”

The underlying theme behind the legal bid will be this question of whether the standard of teaching has dropped, a question which will be deeply contested by both sides. Perhaps the clearest answer will come from whatever method of teaching universities choose to adopt once life finally returns to normal. It is worth noting any court decision would likely not affect Scottish students as education is a devolved issue.

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Rector candidates lose bid for University of Glasgow named THE University SNP candidacy of the Year

Junaid Ashraf and Graham Campbell both lost their bids Ross McCool REPORTER

Scottish National Party councillors (SNP) and candidates for Rector Junaid Ashraf and Graham Campbell have lost their bid to be selected by the SNP for the Glasgow Cathcart and Edinburgh Western seats respectively in next year’s Scottish parliamentary election.

This comes after both stated their intention to stand. Mr Ashraf attempted to go against SNP incumbent James Dornan. Dornan has held the Glasgow Cathcart seat since 2011, after taking it from the Scottish Labour Party.

Mr Ashraf has represented Cumbernauld South in North Lanarkshire council since 2017, gaining attention after assisting a motion in support of the Black Lives Matter movement, being one of the first to occur within the United Kingdom at a local level. Ashraf continues to campaign for Rector in support of arms and fossil fuel divestment campaigns across campus.

Instead of Mr Campbell, Sarah

Masson has been chosen to run in Edinburgh Western. Campbells hopes to de-seat Scottish Liberal Democrats member Alex Cole-Hamilton, who has held the seat since 2016, has been cut short.

“Ashraf continues to campaign for Rector in support of arms and fossil fuel divestment campaigns across campus...”

Mr Campbell has represented Springburn and Robroyston in Glasgow city council since 2017.

He has campaigned for Rector on having a greener and more ethically conscious campus, with a focus on the University’s historical connection with slave traders.

He gained public attention after starring in acclaimed documentary Slavery: Scotland’s Shame.

The documentary followed both Campbell and documentary creator, actor, and director David Hayman as they travelled around Jamaica, noting the history and continued impact that Scottish based slavery has on the Caribbean nation.

As a result, Campbell has been seen as Scottish media’s “go-to” voice on race issues, having appeared in numerous radio and television interviews discussing race matters within Scotland, particularly after the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement and the murder of George Floyd. Despite Campbell failing in this attempt, Campbell is already shaking up the SNP by becoming the party’s first-ever national convenor for Black, Asian and ethnic minority members.

The Scottish parliamentary election is scheduled to take place on Thursday 6 May next year. British, Irish and those of other citizenships staying in the Scotland are eligible to vote.

UofG researcher wins early career researcher award

Credit: University of Glasgow Matilda Handley NEWS EDITOR

University of Glasgow researcher Dr Lewis Steell has been awarded the UK Early Career Researcher Award for medicine

by Elsevier and the US-UK Fulbright Commission.

Dr Steell’s research has focused on physical activity, cardiovascular risk, and risk factors for obesity and type 2 diabetes.

On 16 November, Elsevier and the US-UK Fulbright Commission announced seven winners of the UK Early Career Researcher Awards 2020 with each recipient receiving a grant of £1,500.

The awards recognised early career researchers across six

research disciplines including medicine, social sciences and environmental sciences. Winners are chosen by an expert panel of judges based on their profiles in Scopus (Elsevier’s curated abstract and citation database).

The theme of this year’s award ceremony was international collaboration, which was discussed by an expert panel who then chose the recipients of the awards which were given out during a virtual awards ceremony. The group of experts highlighted the importance of sharing expertise and enabling collaboration across borders, despite the challenges imposed by the pandemic.

Commenting on the award, Dr Lewis Steell, said: “As the

“Dr Steell’s research has focused on physical activity, cardiovascular risk, and risk factors for obesity and type 2 diabetes...”

UK faces an obesity crisis and continues to battle the Covid-19 pandemic, it’s an honour to have my research into physical activity and fitness and their associations with prospective disease outcomes acknowledged by Elsevier and the US-UK Fulbright Commission. Their investment will significantly enhance my research so it can be used to inf luence the lives of people around the world. It will further afford me greater opportunities to publish my work.”

Credit: Unsplash Ollie Rudden NEWS EDITOR

The University of Glasgow has been declared Times Higher Education (THE) University of the Year.

The awards, which give prominent praise for exceptional achievements of individuals, teams and institutions in higher education gave Glasgow the prestigious award for its efforts to redress its past slavery links through reparative justice programme.

The judges said Glasgow was a “hugely deserving” winner, saying Glasgow stands out as a “shining example of what a university should be” praising its courage and action and tackling “the biggest issues in the world”.

They added: “By taking a moral position and leading the way in facing up to the legacy of slavery and making amends, it has set the bar high both for itself and for all universities.”

Glasgow was also nominated for Technological or Digital Innovation of the Year for its work to create a three-dimensional virtual reality classroom for students to understand complex molecular structures.

Professor Sir Anton Muscatelli, principal and vice-chancellor of the University of Glasgow, said: “It is an enormous honour to be named as the Times Higher Education (THE) University of the Year for our work around historic slavery and reparative justice. I want to thank the judging panel and THE for their decision.

“We were the first UK university to recognise our historic links to slavery by researching our past and being open about all that we found. For any institution, talking about historical

links to slavery can be a difficult conversation but we felt it was a necessary and right one for our university to have. For Glasgow, this initiative has had an immense impact on our institution today – in the way we teach, the way we think of ourselves and

“The awards gave Glasgow the prestigious prize for its efforts to redress its past slavery links through reparative justice programme...” how we think about and interpret our history.

Liam Brady, president of the Students’ Representative Council, said: “This is a tremendous recognition of the ground-breaking work of our students and staff on slavery and reparative justice.

“The SRC is very proud to work in partnership with the University on this programme of active reparations. This work sends out a strong message to our students – past, present and future – not only that the University has owned its history but more importantly that as a modern-day institution it is embedding racial justice and reparative action at its heart.

You can find the full list of winners of the awards in the online version of this article.

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Nigel Farage launches ‘Stop The Student RipOff’ campaign Luke Chafer REPORTER

Nigel Farage’s new party, Reform UK, has branded this academic year a “rip off” and becomes the first political party to advocate a partial refund for students who have been kept under “house arrest” as a result of teaching moving online and Covid-19 restrictions inhibiting socialising.

The “Stop the Student Rip-off” campaign, which is led by party chairmen Richard Tice, is calling on the government for a 30% refund on tuition fees as well as more robust mental health provision to be put in place to combat the devastating effects of lockdown.

Richard Tice, former MEP and chairman of Reform UK told The Telegraph: “It is a travesty that university authorities continue to ask students to pay £9,000 a year for a service they are not providing. Students did not sign up for a virtual education. They are paying for full-time courses to be conducted face-to-face using physical

spaces. Thousands of them have also signed expensive, long-term rental agreements fully expecting to be required to attend lectures, seminars and tutorials in person.”

The 30% figure that has been proposed by Reform UK would bring the £9,250 University fees, paid

by English, Welsh and Northern Irish students at the University of Glasgow, in line with the Open University’s fees, which charge up to £6,192 per annum, for remote learning degrees for English students.

Speaking to his followers on Twitter, Nigel Farage said it was the “least we can do for the students that have been conned … it is a modest offering for the level of suffering”.

In an official statement by the Department of Education, a spokesman said: “Universities are responsible for their fees, but the government has been clear if universities want to continue charging the maximum amount permitted, they are expected to maintain quality and academic standards and the quantity of tuition should not drop.”

Credit: Creative Commons

Scottish hospitality businesses in danger of closure due to level three and four restrictions A study determined that 74% of UK businesses in the sector face closure by next year Silas Pease DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR

Scottish businesses in the hospitality sector are in danger of facing closure due to the restrictions imposed in levels three and four of the Scottish government’s local protection levels, according to a recent study.

The study, undertaken on behalf of several UK trade bodies, found that 94% of businesses feared they would either be unable to remain open or would operate at a significant loss in tier three and above. The report also determined it was likely that 74% of British businesses in the hospitality sector are expected to be forced to close in 2021 as a result.

This report comes as Glasgow city and 10 other council areas are temporarily in tier four in a bid to combat the high rate of cases of Covid-19 in these areas in time for the Christmas period. In level four, businesses in the hospitality sector cannot open for in-person service, and all but essential shops must remain closed for the duration. A further nine council areas are also in level three, which combined with those in level four covers a large portion of the population of central Scotland.

In an update from Scottish parliament on 17 November, first minister Nicola Sturgeon stated that financial aid would be made available for businesses impacted by the legislation of these protection levels, though many groups still feel more needs to be done.

Trade bodies UKHospitality, the British Institute of Innkeeping (BII) and the Scottish Beer and

Pub Association, the three groups behind the study, are urging the Scottish government to rethink the regulations of their protection levels, and are calling for increased financial aid to be made available for businesses in danger of going under.

In a recent joint press release, the groups stated: “The results of the survey make for pretty miserable reading. What is most alarming is the total lack of sustainability of businesses placed in levels three or four.

“Lighter restrictions, as in levels zero and one, allow some businesses to break even or even turn a profit. The higher protection levels look increasingly like a death sentence for businesses, though. They are unlikely to survive.

“Hospitality businesses in Scotland, like those in the rest of the UK, have had a terrible year.

Those that are still operating have

survived a crisis against almost impossible odds. For those in the more restrictive levels, those odds now look insurmountable. This is despite the fact that cases linked to hospitality are tiny, and businesses have worked extremely hard to make venues safe.

“The Scottish government must rethink the restrictions being placed on the sector, otherwise this will be fatal for many vital businesses. This must go hand-inhand with enhanced financial support that goes way beyond what is currently on offer.”

It is hoped that the 11 Scottish council areas in level four will be moved back to level three on 11 December, in time for the festive period. As this time of year normally sees a rise in trade for many hospitality businesses, many are calling the Scottish government to rethink its policy to help ensure the survival of this industry.

Credit: Unsplash

Work underway to end HIV stigma in Glasgow by 2030 The Fast Track Cities Initiative Leadership Group (FTCI-LG) met as part of their pledge to eliminate the virus and tackle stigma and discrimination surrounding HIV Giselle Inglis REPORTER

A team of experts and local representatives have met for the first time since the pandemic began to discuss ending the stigma of HIV and blood-borne diseases by 2030. The Fast Track Cities Initiative Leadership Group (FTCI-LG) met as part of their pledge to eliminate the virus and tackle stigma and discrimination surrounding HIV. The FTCI-LG hopes to bring together local businesses,

schools, and health and social care organisations to take on the challenges of educating people about the illness and end all negative associations surrounding the virus. The group also aims to end all deaths due to HIV-related causes as well as improving the health and quality of life of those living with HIV across the city.

Glasgow became the first city in Scotland to be named a HIV Fast Track City in November 2018, meaning Glasgow will strive to deliver the UN’s 90:90:90 HIV targets.

“Glasgow became the first city in Scotland to be named a HIV Fast Track City in November 2018...”

These targets involve ensuring 90% of people living with HIV know their status, 90% of people with HIV on treatment and to have 90% of people on treatment with suppressed viral loads.

The group has access to global resources in order to implement their plan to fill any city-wide gaps in Glasgow’s education on blood-borne diseases, as well as treating HIV within the city.

Mhairi Hunter, the city’s convenor for health and social care, chaired the meeting. She

told the Glasgow Times, the initiative “allows us to pull together all relevant partner organisations, and work to co-ordinate existing strategies and policies to make a real difference to the lives of those affected by HIV in Glasgow.” Mhairi stated these are the methods which would allow the city to reach its goal.

Nathan Sparling, head of HIV Scotland, added: “Everyone in Glasgow can play their part by learning about the realities of HIV and help us stamp out stigma and prejudice.”

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News

Scotland’s Young Academy welcomes new members from UofG formative change.

COP26 sponsors condemned by social justice groups

DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR

NEWS EDITOR

Silas Pease

Eight University of Glasgow staff members have been selected to join the Royal Society of Edinburgh’s (RSE) Young Academy of Scotland (YAS), joining many other newcomers in working towards the Academy’s goal “to achieve transformative societal change through citizenship, innovation, collaboration, evidence, and leadership”.

The members from UoG are among 51 newcomers, all from various academic and societal sectors, including science, the arts, and business. The candidates were chosen as they were believed to represent the best in their field, whether they be researchers, artists, or entrepreneurs.

YAS, formed by the RSE in 2011, is an organisation which, through various research projects, aims to shape public understanding of social issues and strive for trans-

In order to keep on track for their goal, the Academy has set up five “Grand Challenges” to undertake from 2020 to 2022, all of which deal with current and pressing issues in Scotland. These challenges include “Zero carbon by 2045”, “Ending health inequalities”, and “Increasing Scotland’s positive role in the world”.

The co-chair of YAS Alice König welcomed the new members in a recent news update from the Academy, stating: “YAS is thrilled to be welcoming such an outstanding group of new members, whose diverse talents and experiences will bring so much to our work. We have a busy year ahead, addressing our five Grand Challenges, and we are hugely excited about the ideas and expertise which this new cohort will contribute as we come together to help build a future for Scotland that is healthier, smarter, more equal, enterprising, sustainable and international.”

University of Glasgow student to cut dreadlocks for charity NEWS EDITOR

University of Glasgow student Emma Robinson will be cutting her seven-year-old dreadlocks for the NSPCC. Robinson decided to cut her hair for the charity after learning of the impact of the pandemic on the mental health of children, which has especially affected children who suffer in abusive households.

Robinson has said: “I’m doing it knowing that every pound raised could help save a child from an abusive household and set them up for a fulfilled future.

“With suicide rates in young people rapidly rising, it is essential we help out these children in any way we can and sometimes a call to a helpline such as Childline can be all it takes to save a young life.”

Between January and April this year, Childline dealt with almost

Social justice groups have slammed the UK government over the newly announced sponsors for COP26, which takes place in Glasgow next year.

“‘These companies are still part of an industry that actively contributes to deepening the climate crisis and additionally are responsible for severe human rights violations’...”

The newly announced sponsors include two of the “big six” energy firms SSE and Scottish Power, the National Grid (owned by both SSE and Scottish Power) and banking firm NatWest Group (formerly known as the Royal Bank of Scotland Group), who have financed over £12bn in fossil fuel projects since 2016, according to campaigners.

The UN Climate Summit COP26 is due to take place in Glasgow next year, building on

Credit: Creative Commons

Matilda Handley

Ollie Rudden

7,000 counselling sessions with children and young people around the impacts that Covid-19 had on them. The charity has said that for children who had already been facing difficult circumstances including abuse, domestic violence and difficult family relationships, these issues have been exacerbated during lockdown leaving them feeling alone and trapped. Many of the concerns that children have been talking about are the same as before lockdown.

Jen Lindsay, the community fundraising manager for the charity said: “The money raised for our charity helps fund NSPCC helplines and frontline services, which we are continuing to adapt to support children and their families in Scotland through our direct services and free ‘Speak Out. Stay Safe’ assemblies.”

So far Robinson has raised over £650 of her £1,000 target. Links to her JustGiving page will be available in the online version of this article

the success and work of the Paris Climate Accord in 2015. However, social justice groups, while having welcomed the exclusion of fossil fuel companies like BP and Shell who had previously lobbied the government for a place in the talks, have questioned the inclusion of the four newly announced sponsors.

For example, SSE, the owner of a gas-fired power station in Peterhead, are the largest source of carbon dioxide emissions in Scotland, responsible for emitting 1.6 million tonnes of carbon emissions last year.

A new coalition of social justice groups has joined to lobby the government to “overhaul” their sponsors for COP26, including dropping SSE and for all future sponsors to have no involvement in polluting activities.

In a statement to The Glasgow Guardian, Glasgow University Amnesty International spoke of their disappointment in the announced sponsors of the event: “While we are excited to host a significant event like the COP26 in Glasgow, we are also very disappointed by the government chosen sponsors. Even though these companies are attempting to show a strong commitment by providing capital for such a positive event to run, we cannot help but see this as a mere corporate social responsibility scheme.

“As the SSE transferred its operations to OVO Energy in what seems to be an attempt to avoid accountability, and NatWest lays plans for an environmentally-friendly future, the funding of

the COP26 certainly raises questions about the dedication of both the UN as well as the UK’s major energy stakeholders to facilitate a better tomorrow.

“This type of greenwashing does not change the facts. These companies are still part of an industry that actively contributes to deepening the climate crisis and additionally are responsible for severe human rights violations. Even in the UK, it is estimated that 64,000 early deaths are linked to pollution, and globally the industry deprives people of clean water by polluting rivers with their wastewater and exploits indigenous homeland, among other atrocities.”

“‘While we are excited to host a significant event like the COP26 in Glasgow, we are also very disappointed by the government chosen sponsors’...”

The UN Climate Summit COP26 takes place in December 2021 at the Scottish Event Campus in Glasgow. Leaders from all over the world are expected to attend the event.

Study finds link between tobacco sales and proximity to schools Lucy Dunn REPORTER

A research group consisting of academics from both the University of Glasgow and the University of Edinburgh has published a study that shows a ban on cigarette sales in places close to schools and playgrounds would amount to a 70% decrease in the number of shops allowed to sell these products.

The study consisted of the creation of a digital map which plotted out the country’s 9000+ tobacco retailers and looked at the ways in which these numbers would change if various policies were implemented. The map also showed that there were more tobacco retailers per capita in deprived areas as opposed to wealthy ones.

The researchers tested various hypothetical situations, for example: changing the type of shops allowed to retail tobacco or capping the number of shops allowed to sell. The most significant change, however, was the banning of ciga-

rette sales in shops existing near children’s playgrounds or schools.

Instead, it was hypothesised, stopping sales in smaller stores and only allowing larger supermarkets to sell cigarettes could be beneficial.

An important part of the study involved inspecting the inequalities in tobacco sales and distribution across Scotland. It was found that in areas where more cigarette retailers exist, more people smoke, and teenagers are more likely to hang around near these types of shops. Although smoking rates in deprived areas come down to more than just shop placement, the study found that changing current policies could be extremely beneficial, if done correctly.

The charity ASH Scotland estimated that in 2019, 19% of adults smoked: almost one in five, with the number of cigarettes smoked a day at a decreased value of 11.3, from 12.3 two years previously. In 2018, smoking was responsible for 16% of all deaths. Cigarette use causes damage to almost every

Credit: Dorota Dziki organ in the body: from its strong correlation with stroke, lung cancer and mouth and throat problems, the reduction in the number of national smokers is considered an imperative health measure.

This study was funded by Cancer Research UK and published in the journal Tobacco Control.

3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

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Beyond the jokes: imposter syndrome in students The sprawling labyrinth of anxiety that is higher education seems the perfect breeding ground for imposter syndrome, and the lingering feelings of inadequacy have become rather tragically universal to the student experience.

Sophie Kernachan MUSIC COLUMNIST

It’s become a strange ritual of mine to open a returned assignment, read the given grade, and storm into a group chat armed with self-deprecating quips, my self-esteem lower than my perception of the English department’s standards for an A. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, I do get those fleeting thoughts reminding me: “I’ve made it to third year, I can’t be that bad!”, but they’re usually followed by a swift self-inflicted kick in the teeth; a reminder that my chronic feelings of inadequacy are inescapable. Impostor syndrome has a habit of creeping up on many students like this and has no doubt been worsened by the events of 2020. With poor communication from the University, a lack of both mental health and academic resources, and a barren social landscape, the student experience has been wanting. The shift to online learning has proved difficult for many of us; university isn’t feeling like university anymore. If you struggled with imposter syndrome before, it’s probably gotten a lot worse as the pandemic rages on.

“If you struggled with imposter syndrome before, it’s probably gotten a lot worse as the pandemic rages on...”

“It’s easy to look at your grades and feel as though they’re probably someone else’s...”

Imposter syndrome, alongside alcoholism and chronic insomnia, is one of the experiences key to the morbid trinity of student life; the quirks forming the foundation of every post on every university confessions page. While a bit of self-deprecating humour is often harmless, imposter syndrome, like the other two conditions mentioned, often runs a lot deeper than jokes may let on. It can exacerbate depression and anxiety, which understandably puts a wee bit of a dampener on the whole university experience. For some, it can lead to dropping out of university altogether.

Although most professional research relating to it tends to focus on STEM subjects, imposter syndrome doesn’t discriminate based on what degree you’re pursuing.

The causes of imposter syndrome are incredibly varied; parental attitudes to education, gender, ethnicity, and social class are but a

Credit: Jenny Dimitriadi - Photographer few things that can cause imposter syndrome in students. Some studies have suggested that a competitive degree is an important factor, but that doesn’t feel completely accurate, especially now. Even in the ever-more isolated world of Covid-19, when government restrictions have brought those study sessions with your seemingly-more-organised friends to a grinding halt and you can supposedly breeze through your work from the comfort of your own home, imposter syndrome still rears its ugly head.

Feeling as though you’re only getting by academically due to

luck or sympathy from others has been connected with a person’s cultural background since imposter syndrome was first identified.

“Lingering feelings of inadequacy have become rather tragically universal to the student experience...”

Psychologists Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance first identified the “imposter phenomenon” in the 1970s, suggesting women were primarily affected. Recent studies have suggested the lingering feelings of self-doubt are a more universal experience than that, but despite the universality of it, some groups are still more likely to be affected than others. Working class, disabled, and BIPOC populations are some of the most notably affected. Other factors might also come into play, such as what stage in your undergraduate degree you’re in or whether or not you’re doing a master’s degree.

The distinctly working class variety of imposter syndrome certainly resonated with me, as I encountered research which concluded that first-generation university students are significantly more likely to experience imposter syndrome than those whose parents also attended university.

I couldn’t help but recall how disheartened I felt after being told by my teachers that “Glasgow University is a bit of a stretch for you” after receiving my Higher results; but I’m here now, a third year English Literature student. In my biggest moments of self-doubt, I recall the “Widening Participation” scheme that had helped me along the way, on account of living in a deprived area and wonder if I really deserve to be here.

In moments like these, it’s easy to think you get by because of sympathy and quotas, and when such feelings of inadequacy are so ingrained in the university experience, it can be a very hard habit to break.

Many of the habits surrounding academic anxiety are difficult to break, and trying to do that in a learning climate like the one we’re amid right now?

Struggling is more than understandable. There are many small things you can do to try and boost your self-esteem, from planning and setting achievable goals, rewarding yourself for overcoming moments of doubt, and trying to develop a positive reception and outlook on your feedback. It’s easy to look at your grades and feel as though they’re probably someone else’s, or that you’ll take what you can get - but you deserve to be here just as much as the next person. It is hard, but you’ve got this - no matter what those fleeting thoughts of inadequacy say.

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3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

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Non-Christians Dark nights in dark times How are coronavirus restrictions impacting those with at Christmas seasonal affective disorder this bleak midwinter?

Two of our writers share their perspectives on Christmas as non-Christians Melanie Goldberg

Flora Gosling

WRITER

WRITER

Whilst I do enjoy the odd Christmas movie, or song, or two, for me the actual celebration of Christmas is honestly just too high maintenance to be enjoyable.

I unironically adore Christmas with all my faithless heart. For the whole of December, I like to surround myself with twinkly decorations, watch all the big shops compete to have the soppiest advert, and listen to the same 15 songs over and over again. Songs including Christmas carols, I might add.

I’ve never been religious, but I’m comfortable enough in my belief system (or lack thereof) to sample a selection of traditional tidbits without concerning myself with the meaning behind them. I enjoy Christmas in the same way Tim Minchin does in his song White Wine in the Sun; with all the usual objections to consumerism, and with scepticism of ancient wisdom, but just really liking it anyway.

“Whilst maybe my Christmas opinions may not be entirely inherently negative, I’d take latkes and sufganiyot over mince pies and eggnog any day...”

I sometimes turn into a little bit of a Scrooge this time of the year, which is in part attributed to the shocked reactions when I explain my lack of enthusiasm and absence of celebration, but more importantly because of the excessive enthusiasm of others. I would definitely rather live in a cave on Mount Crumpet with a cute dog. Of course, many Jews love celebrating at Christmas, my own family included, and in fairness, my extreme Christmas opinions are slightly on the periphery (two Jews, three opinions, and the like).

I do have to admit, Christmas is not all doom and gloom, and I am quite susceptible to a half-decent Christmas cracker prize. I also don’t deny having participated in some celebrations on the 25 December in the past.

Although the choice of cuisine would not be my first, who would actually oppose an opportunity to eat vast amounts of food without judgement? Although, this is basically the crux of most Jewish holidays anyways; someone tried to kill us so let’s eat doughnuts, cookies, and fried potatoes. In my maybe slightly biased, Jewish opinion, Chanukah is the far superior winter celebration.

Thanks to the commercialisation of “winter holidays”, it is now considered custom to have eight days of presents, one for each day of Chanukah, and who could argue with that?

So whilst maybe my Christmas opinions may not be entirely inherently negative, I’d take latkes and sufganiyot over mince pies and eggnog any day.

“Christmas is such a rich cacophony of aesthetics, emotions, and traditions that, at least in Scotland, it has moved well beyond the need to reflect on its origins...”

I figure if the celebration of Christmas has drifted so far from its roots that Christian groups are clambering over each other to remind us (largely unsuccessfully) of the “true” meaning of Christmas, can it really be called a religious holiday anymore? Methinks not. As far as I’m concerned, it has entered the public domain.

Aside from schools making trips to churches (a practice I routinely protested), I think it has very little bearing on how it has been celebrated for the last thirty-odd years. Christmas is such a rich cacophony of aesthetics, emotions, and traditions that, at least in Scotland, it has moved well beyond the need to reflect on its origins.

The day itself will come and go so quickly that most times I don’t remember the details, but just knowing that very briefly the whole country will just stop, celebrate, relax (or at the very least continue as normal but now with Santa hats on) is comforting and uniting in a way that you don’t see anywhere else in modern life. Who needs Jesus when you’ve got that?

Rachael Wilson WRITER

The clocks have turned back, it’s dark at 5pm and the supermarkets have started selling Christmas decorations - winter is in full swing. For most people, this time of year is one of excitement and festivities, but for me and many others the short days of winter bring about many challenges.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a challenging condition in which the lack of daylight makes following a routine difficult and leaves the sufferer in a constant state of fatigue. Having had difficulties with SAD since I was in primary school, I have, over the years, developed ways in which to cope with the bleak months from winter to spring, although even this doesn’t do much to alleviate the dread of the clocks inevitably turning back. But this year, in the midst of a pandemic and a second lockdown, I actually don’t feel that this year will be as challenging as those before.

“For me, keeping a routine that is realistic and not being too hard on myself is what I rely on most...”

For me, SAD has always meant missing school, sleeping in for work and waking up at dinner time. I’ve never been hugely ecstatic at the thought of Christmas, but the holidays were warmly welcomed as it would mean a few weeks away from education without the guilt of being weeks behind my peers as a result of taking so many days off. The effects of SAD negatively impacted my education: so soon into starting a new academic year, and having a fresh start, I would find myself unable to balance my workload due to the fatigue and

“The lack of daylight makes following a routine difficult and leaves the sufferer of SAD in a constant state of fatigue...” low mood. I thought after leaving school that college would present better prospects as the contact hours were shorter, but I dropped out two years in a row because I hadn’t learned to manage my symptoms. It was only during my third attempt at college, whilst I worked a demanding Christmas temp job, that I was able to realise that winter would always be an uphill battle and that I would have to somehow find the energy

to manage. What worked best for me is waking up as early as I can to make the most of the daylight, keeping bright lights on until late in the evening, and keeping my living area tidy. This isn’t to say that I’m always successful and that I don’t still sleep in or spend too many days in bed, but whatever routine I can construct for myself does help. Being able to find a daily routine that worked was what helped me to pass college and start attending university.

I, as much as most university students, love a drink. Yet when the Christmas nights out roll around, I rarely find the energy to go for drinks with friends. Having low energy during the festivities is difficult as I want to make the most of Christmas markets and sparkly dresses, but I find myself completely drained after only a few hours out. This year, with current and future restrictions looming over our heads, I know that the options for nights out will be limited and chances of Christmas themed zoom calls high. Although I miss quality time with my friends, in terms of coping with the low moods associated with SAD, I think this year will be easier. On days where I struggle to get up and socialise, I can find comfort having a catch up with friends over zoom, whilst before I would be missing out on a night in the pub. This isn’t to say that I wouldn’t go out at all, or that I never have, but I do like that when things become difficult I can still spend time with those I care about in a less strenuous setting.

“Winter is always an uphill battle that I have to somehow find the energy to manage...”

Despite feeling more at ease with less pressure to socialise, having little to look forward to after a long semester of breakout rooms is a little deflating. I’ve come to terms with the fact that the short days of winter will negatively impact my mood, but as I get older I continue to find different ways to cope. For me, keeping a routine that is realistic and not being too hard on myself is what I rely on most; and is even more applicable this year as I spend more time than ever in my room alone. This year to try to avoid slipping into bad habits, I will try and make the most of whatever pandemic-friendly festivities Glasgow has to offer.

Credit: Jenny Dimitriadi - Photographer

3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

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An ode to the uni Self love and sex toys in group chat the time of isolation Anonymous WRITER

The first time I ever bought and used a sex toy I had just had a terrible breakup. It was a little bullet vibrator which cost about a tenner, but it was a great way to get into using them. For a lot of people, sex toys are mysterious, taboo, used by lonely people, and nowhere near as good as the real thing.

Honestly, this perception couldn’t be further from the truth. Sex toys are a way for everyone to learn about themselves and empower themselves to have great sexual experiences.

Credit: Hailie Pentleton Hailie Pentleton VIEWS EDITOR

It’s a Thursday in mid-July and you’re preparing to start the next chapter of your life as a real-life, all drinking, all romancing university student. Naive and eager to throw yourself into student life, you scour Facebook for freshers’ pages, until you finally stumble across that holy grail, as many have before you: the first-year course group chat.

You brace yourself in anticipation, your membership is approved, and you’re greeted by what can only be described as major 2013 Omegle vibes: “Hey! Age? Pronouns? Location? What else are you studying?” And if you’re lucky enough to have opted for the ever-employable English Literature degree, you may even be asked for your Goodreads addy.

Perhaps you were a little wiser than me and got out while you still had the chance, or at the very least learned how to use the mute function pretty early on. But, if you’re anything like me (and I like to imagine I’m a relatable character) you’re still somewhat involved in that same chat now, with its unrecognisable icon, and a name that you vaguely remember as being funny in the context it was created but now just makes it even more difficult to find when you’re looking to bump someone’s sources. They have their perks, sometimes there’s nothing better than taking to the group chat and ripping the arse out of the lecturer who just can’t keep your attention. It helps to know that other people are thinking along the same lines as you for that assignment due the following week. Now more than ever, it’s comforting to have a space to talk with your peers about the absolute shitshow that is zoom university; a reminder that you aren’t alone.

More often than not, however, you’ll open one of these chats and find yourself hit with a massive

wave of deja vu: hasn’t someone already asked this today? Scroll up two or three messages and you’ll find that, yes, they have. And if someone’s feeling snarky enough, they’ll make that clear with a passive-aggressive “scroll up the chat”.

Well, dear reader, I am here to answer those burning questions so that you aren’t met with a blunt response from that know-it-all on your Literary Theory course. Here we go: Why is the zoom link not working?

Make sure you’re clicking on the right one. I had the misfortune of attempting to join a seminar two days early back in September, which is a little intense, even for my Type A personality. If that’s not the problem, blame the shit heap that is MyGlasgow and venture back to bed.

When is this due?

I see you too have also neglected your overpriced academic planner this semester. Check Moodle.

How do we reference?

See the style guide on Moodle.

Our marks are due back today, why aren’t they out?

Sweet summer child, haven’t you learned not to expect markers to meet the deadlines?

How do I do a bibliography?

See the answer to question three.

Has anyone actually started this?

Has anyone done the reading?

Yes, but they’ll say no and lull you into a false sense of security. Don’t trust anyone, not even yourself.

Where is the reading? Where are you finding these sources?

See Moodle.

Is anyone else struggling with this?

The answer is always yes. No matter how awful you feel you’re doing, take comfort in the likelihood that someone else is also hiding under their duvet contemplating throwing in the towel and bogging off to Salou with the last of their student loan. University is hard; even for that all-knowing, high-scoring, omnipresent figure in the Film chat. You are not alone.

“There’s no strings attached, the only thing you need to worry about is if you have enough battery...”

First of all, I want to tackle the myths and misconceptions surrounding sex toys: the idea that sex toys are illicit and wrong to talk about stems mainly from the fact that sex generally is considered taboo. Like other aspects of sexual health, understanding what you like and dislike is cru-

cial to having great experiences solo or with company! The fact is, they aren’t just for lonely people: whether you’re single or in a relationship, sex toys can be a great way to connect with your body (or someone else’s). It shouldn’t be an insult to bring a toy into the bedroom, and there shouldn’t be any shame in spending some quality one-on-one time with yourself and your favourite vibrator.

During the strange times we now live in, so far away from everyone and everything we know, we do anything we can to feel some semblance of normality.

At the moment, unless you have a partner you live with or are in an extended household with, sex with a partner is likely off the table for the foreseeable future. So, if you’ve been hesitating to try something new, now is probably the best time to go for it. For the first part of lockdown, I was unable to see my partner for a couple of months, which meant I had lots of time to get to know myself again in the bedroom.

One of the big benefits of using a sex toy while masturbating is that you’re in complete control, and it really is all about you. There’s no possibility of terribly awkward sex, having to try to remember the name of the one night stand you took home, or worrying that you’re sending the wrong message to your friend with benefits. There’s no strings attached, the only thing you need to worry about is if you

have enough battery. Furthermore, there’s no need to even leave your flat, no need to brave the cold weather in Glasgow without a coat, because it’s ruining your look.

It may seem daunting - where to start? When in doubt, it’s best starting small. Don’t go for the biggest or the flashiest, especially things which are inserted like butt plugs or dildos, as you can do some serious damage if they aren’t used properly. Make sure you get proper equipment for the job too: if it’s going up your anus it needs to have a flared base, otherwise you can end up with some very uncomfortable conversations in A&E. And if it hurts, stop. Things like bullet vibrators are a non-intimidating starting point, are quite versatile, and usually don’t cost too much.

Don’t be afraid to use lube too, as this can both stop any injuries and can enhance your experience.

There are plenty of places to go for toys; Luke and Jack in Glasgow, or Ann Summers and Lovehoney, both of which do student discounts.

Make sure to do your research so you pick the right thing for you there are loads of different types and it can be very overwhelming.

When it comes to materials, it’s important that they’re non-porous (so they’re easier to clean and prevent bacteria from developing). Make sure to also clean them after every use with a cleaner and make sure they’re dry before putting them away. Silicone toys should also not be stored together or used with silicone lube as they can react together and melt! Don’t panic though: Lovehoney has a help page explaining what you need to take into account when buying toys which is a good start place.

“Sex toys are a way for everyone to learn about themselves and empower themselves to have great sexual experiences...”

It’s a shame that we as a culture are so terrified about the mere discussion of sex that we struggle to get advice and opinions on the topic of sex toys. Their use is far more common and widespread than we think, and I think most people would benefit from having a conversation with a friend about them. Like anything with sexual health, if we normalise talking about it we all benefit. After all, sexual health should be treated like any other part of your health.

Credit: Dorota Dziki - Illustrator

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3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

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It’s (still) the most wonderful time of the year Whilst Christmas in 2020 is far from normal, there’s still joy to be found this festive season Tara Gandhi SOCIAL MEDIA AND PRODUCTION MANAGER

This Christmas is going to be weird - there’s no two ways about it. But whether you’re getting tested and returning home or braving it out here in Glasgow, there’s plenty of Christmas spirit left to be found. In case you’ve been struggling, The Glasgow Guardian has compiled a (by no means cohesive) list of the joys we should all be focusing on.

1) Decorations are up earlier than ever It seems that shortly after Halloween there was a general consensus that Christmas had started. The usual “it starts earlier each year” grouches have kept quiet, knowing that what 2020 really needs is as much Christmas as we can get. And if that wasn’t enough, those of us going home in time to quarantine before we see wider family on Christmas Day only have about a week left in the city anyway, so we really do have an excuse to go hard on Christmas as soon as we can. Seeing the glow of fairy lights through paper snowflake-covered windows

Credit: Ioanna Chrysanthakopoulou - Illustrator makes walking home from the library in the dark and biting cold a little bit more pleasant.

2) Lying to small children Everyone knows Christmas is better when you spend it with someone who still Believes. And this year, even if you don’t have a small child in your family, you can still tap into the joy of Santa by watching politicians from around the world make

formal announcements in parliament about Santa being an essential worker, free from quarantine rules.

We saw it at Easter with Jacinda Ardern making sure the Easter Bunny would still make it home, and recently the Irish minister for foreign affairs gave a particularly lovely announcement in the Dáil.

Just search “Santa cleared to enter Irish airspace” to take a look!

3) Small dogs in small outfits In March, I think a lot of us thought we would save money not being able to leave the house for the foreseeable future. But if you’re anything like me and my flatmates, you’ve just lost the same amount - if not more - buying crap online. My prediction for December is that this addiction to online shopping will continue, and we’ll see an influx of babies and dogs in festive outfits - which is enough to lift anyone’s spirits.

4) Putting those lockdown skills to the test We’ve done banana bread and sourdough, and now it’s time for the final boss: festive baking.

As an avid baker, I don’t think there’s anything as challenging as sourdough (my starter and I are mortal enemies), so hopefully the skills mastered since March will keep all of our kitchens full this Christmas. My suggestion: bake gingerbread, then heat up some mulled wine and try your hand at building a house. Since 2016, my friends from home and I have had a get together each Christmas to build a gingerbread house, and we have never once succeeded.

So if you try your hand at it, make sure you tweet a photo to us at @

glasgowguardian so you can either join my team of rejects, or put us all to shame.

5) The spirit of christmas is actually finding love in a small midwestern town, or a European principality When I left the role of Editor-in-Chief at the end of last year, I didn’t think my legacy going forward would be constantly trying to get our readers to watch shit films, but here we are. If you’re in need of a little Christmas spirit, not much will help more than a swift 90-minute fever dream about a lawyer who inherits a place called “Christmas Land”, or a Normal GirlTM who falls for a prince, or - and I still can’t believe this got made - a 14th century knight from Norwich time traveling to modern day Ohio to show Vanessa Hudgens the true meaning of Christmas and love.

What more could you want?

I hope these will be a distraction from some of the more bleak aspects of our lives at the moment.

If all else fails, you can’t quibble with the quality of A Muppet’s Christmas Carol, so whack that on and try to be sad while watching Kermit and Miss Piggy. It’s scientifically impossible.

All I want for Christmas is me Set down those winter-warming handcuffs everyone, we’re calling an end to cuffing season Holly Jennings EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

You’ve driven the boat, kissed in the Rolls, been a big Ol’ freak - it’s been a hot girl summer, but suddenly, there’s no more heat. Just like that, you’re back walking down Kelvin Way, the leaves turning orange and your hoe summer is only a memory.

Cuffing season has arrived.

In a normal year, pumpkin spice latte season sets in and people aren’t just thirsty for coffee anymore. For some reason, the changing of the seasons rewinds the evolutionary clock and we’re all desperate for a mate to cuddle after a long day of hunting (for the will to live in the library). The actual securing of the cuffs happens just after Halloween, because, I mean who doesn’t want to be single for Halloween? Morals are often compromised (can you really wear that Never Kissed a Tory badge in good faith?) as people drop their expectations in the Black-Friday-sale equivalent of dating - it’s a mad scramble, and usually you end up buying something you didn’t really want just because it was 60% off. This newly adopted partner will, if they’re lucky, make it through Valentine’s Day until the sun returns in March and then the next hot girl summer is on the horizon.

But November 1 arrived this year, and I didn’t wake up with a

heart full of desperation. The world has changed significantly in 2020, and the dating world is no exception. I’ve seen couples break up when I’d expected to dance at their weddings, I’ve witnessed my best friends’ hearts being broken, and even experienced some spicy dating moments myself. However, I’ve not sworn off love completely - I’ve also watched the most beautiful moments which made my cold Grinch heart grow three sizes.

Over the last three years, I’ve had three different partners, three coupled up New Years’, and three hot girl summers - you do the maths.

Whether that’s me being lucky enough to find love thrice or my deep-seated inability to be alone is up for debate. Regardless, the social climate surrounding being alone in the winter months has a big role to play in my dating history. I don’t know if it’s the adverts, Love Actually, or the real-life couples, but either way, I’m looking at you lot.

There’s nothing quite like brunching with your Disney fairytale, my partner could do no wrong, the wedding is in five years friend.

After 15 minutes of nodding along to any and all updates about their partner’s life, including their sister’s friend’s dog’s birthday party, comes the dreaded questioning.

Usually prefaced by a brushed “enough about me!” come the sad eyes, 45-degree head tilt, and ever

so slightly strained: “How’s the love life?” “Are you seeing anyone?”

“Have you tried Tinder?”

As they sit in their ivory tower of cuddles and being cuffed, small little lonesome me apparently looks quite pathetic.

Thankfully, Covid has been a great excuse and opportunity for fending off any of these toxic interrogations, be it from friends or family, since any sign of dating in the pandemic is reacted to with intense animosity. @KaufmanAudrey on Twitter summarises it perfectly: “Girls will be like “oh you’re dating during the pandemic? I stay home and have sex with my long-term serious boyfriend who loves me because I actually care about other people lol”.

Covid has decided to make it just that much harder for us to meet people. Gone are the days of locking eyes in Hive as Smashmouth plays in the background, replaced by trying to flirt in front of 30 other people in a sober society social on Zoom. But this year, I’m not feeling quite so lonesome - not because I have a revolving door of partners, but honestly, I just can’t be arsed.

This horrific year, caring for my own happiness has been enough work, never mind finding the energy to sit through Zoom dates learning about how he was going to be a really successful footballer until the knee injury.

I don’t fully know why cuffing

Credit: Dorota Dziki - Illustrator season isn’t psychologically wreaking havoc with me this year, it could be couples no longer breathing down my neck or it could be that John Lewis’ Christmas ad was fundamentally underwhelming.

Maybe it’s because I’m busier, maybe it’s because everyone’s bloody miserable, or maybe it’s me final-

ly dealing with those pesky issues I have about being alone; but the intense winter romance pressure seems to have faded for quite a few of us. Whilst one pandemic has been sweeping the nation, I’m happy to report that another has been stifled for me this year - viva la hot xgirl summer 2021.

3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

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The writing is on the bathroom stalls

Community spirit is back in business

Emily says we deserve better period products Emily Hay VIEWS EDITOR

Back in September, Pantone made headlines by unveiling a new shade of red inspired by the colour of periods as part of a campaign to try and destigmatize menstruation. Now, I’m all for accurate menstrual representation in the media. This move from Pantone was positively progressive compared to last year when Australian sanitary pad brand Libra came under fire for daring to show blood-red liquid in its advertisements, as opposed to the alien shade of blue most period brands had adopted to appease the delicate sensibilities of primetime (*cough cough* cis-straight-male) television audiences. I love talking about periods, yet all this highlights to me is just how much modern progress in equality is performative more than functional or genuinely helpful.

I’m not denying that representation matters: these measures do wonders for young people menstruating for the first time who are now learning that they don’t have to hide their periods – or period products – as if they’re something dirty or unnatural. Yet all I want to do is shout from the rooftops about how, whilst the worlds of advertising and marketing may be working more on periods and period products than ever before, science seems to have given up. Because you can’t honestly be telling me that we’ve been presented with the best solutions science has for how to collect our blood every month.

Sanitary pads are the earliest method of period collection for most, and that’s all they’re really fit to be: primitive. They’re just so uncomfortable. The way they dig into your bikini line is positively criminal, especially at the time of the month when you’re feeling most fragile. Then there’s that dance you have to do once you’ve stuck it on and pulled your pants up, only to realise the position it’s in absolutely is not going to work: the wings

Credit: AJ Duncan - Illustrator

have pulled the whole thing into the most uncomfortable, unflattering, and unpractical thong you ever did see. In my book, pads are really only a back-up method for the heaviest days, and even then I use them grudgingly. Pads go hand-inhand with my memories of school: nostalgia-inducing and a necessary evil at the time, but one which has absolutely no place in my life – or underwear – now.

Graduating from pads to tampons is a big step for anyone, and they really are a huge step up. Finally, you can swim and do other physical activities without worrying about your underwear bunching up, and if you put them in correctly, you shouldn’t ever be able to feel them. But when you’re cramping really badly, prodding around to get them in right just adds to the agony; and once you’ve fallen down one internet hole googling toxic shock syndrome you’ll end up constantly checking the clock to make sure you don’t go over the eight-hour mark.

There’s nothing quite like the panic of waking up after a night out to realise you’ve got two up there, because you forgot to take the old one out before putting the new one in, and deciding the end is nigh (don’t lie, we’ve all done it.) Plus, for the conscientious 2020 menstruator, there’s the added factor of just how much waste is produced by disposable period products, which is even worse if you have to use applicator ones - and getting non-applicator ones in right every time is easier said than done.

If reusability and sustainability are your main concerns when it comes to your period, then silicone menstrual cups are probably your preferred option. You can use them for years, which also makes them cheaper than disposable methods in the long run. But it doesn’t seem to matter how many periods pass, they never get any easier to put in.

Mine is two years old and I still have to take three attempts at getting it in right every time I use it, which, to put it plainly, gets messy. The same

goes for trying to take them out.

I, for one, weirdly love to see how much I’ve bled in any one day, but I don’t want to do that by seeing it spattered all over the toilet seat because I’m in a rush and it won’t come out. And as much as I love the reusability factor, the fact that you need access to a sink to rinse it before you put it back in makes them nigh-on impossible to empty in public. I mean, what if there’s a queue? Are you just meant to leave the stall, rinse this little pink cup in full view of everyone and then re-join the queue to put it back in, all the while free bleeding into your underwear?

Of course, that wouldn’t matter if you were wearing a pair of period underwear, the newest product being marketed at menstruators these days. They’re meant to be comfier than pads – they don’t get twisted up in your underwear because they, well, are your underwear – and they’re non-invasive unlike tampons and menstrual cups. In theory, I love the idea of these, who wouldn’t love to just pull on some huge comfy pants and not worry about their period all day? But I just can’t see them taking the brunt of the work on days one to three alone without disaster striking. In short, they seem great as a backing dancer, but they definitely aren’t the Beyonce of the period world.

I’m just a girl, standing here, begging the period industry to give me some better options on a monthly basis. This is the real cause we should be campaigning for. You can’t honestly be telling me that in 2020, when labs are developing the quickest vaccines in human history, science hasn’t caught up to a problem that’s plagued half of the population since the dawn of humanity. This just isn’t on anymore; the writing is on the bathroom stalls. If you can’t give those of us with vaginas better contraceptives or pain management, the least you owe us is something decent to bleed into every month. Please. I just want to wear white trousers in peace.

Credit: Unsplash Rachel Campbell VIEWS COLUMNIST

I decided to move back to my hometown during lockdown, rather than continuing to rent near the University. Living in Glasgow’s west end, I hadn’t become involved in anything going on around me or made any friends who lived nearby, and as a result, I had become quite isolated.

I weighed up the pros and cons and decided that I’d much rather pay to travel to university if it meant I could be closer to my family and friends who still lived at home. This was before I knew we’d be learning remotely and I wouldn’t have to travel to uni at all this year. As it turned out, I’ve not only saved on train tickets and rent from studying remotely, I’ve also found that sense of community that I had been missing in the last few years.

Moving to the centre of my town, I’m now only a short walk from the high street buskers, cafes, and shops. For all the awful things the pandemic has brought to us, it has made people more aware of the importance of supporting local businesses. I’m more conscious to choose the cafe across the road over a Starbucks and it’s given me more of a sense of belonging as a result. I’ve gotten to know people locally, and on the days where studying from home can become isolating, I can nip into some of the shops nearby and have a chat with the owners. Before, I was holed up in my flat, and the most interaction I had was with the automated voice of the self-service checkout at the Tesco Express, but now I feel like having a chat with someone in the local shops can really help me to feel less alone; something we all need, now more than ever.

I also started a volunteer job writing for my local community

website, and it helped me get to know more people locally too. I’ve been interviewing local business owners and there’s a real sense in my town that these shops want to be places that foster this sense of community, places people can host events (albeit socially distanced once for now) or just places people know they can have a natter with someone. I think that idea has been heightened by the pandemic; we know how easy it is to get lonely right now, and people do want to come together. That’s something I’m trying to be a part of.

I don’t find it super easy, but I know pushing myself out of my comfort zone and getting to know the people around me will ultimately be a good thing. I shouldn’t let myself become a hermit, no matter how easily justified that is right now. Maybe the idea that going into shops on the high street will make you feel less lonely is something people usually associate with pensioners, but I don’t see why it shouldn’t be applied to students who, especially at the moment, can feel just as isolated. It’s harder to get to know people through a mask, but the fact you are both wearing masks is a reminder that we are all in this together.

There hasn’t been a town fireworks display this year. There won’t be parades or Christmas markets.

But that’s exactly why people are coming together more than ever.

More people are helping out their neighbours. More businesses in my town are signing up to be drop off points for local toy and food banks this year. More are collaborating with other local businesses to support each other. More people are coming up with creative ways we can have events which are socially distanced and in line with restrictions. It’s exciting to see people foster this community spirit at a time when it is needed most.

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3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

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Reverse resolutions: all I know now What would you tell your January self if you had the chance?

Anastasija Svarevska WRITER

In 2019, “climate strike” was named word of the year by the Collins Dictionary. As we were entering 2020, we swore to ourselves, with one hand-on-heart and the other holding a glass of bubbly, to live a greener life and lead a more sustainable lifestyle, among our other undoubtedly long-forgotten New Year’s resolutions.

Reflecting on the past few months, climate strikes and strikes in general could have potentially retained the title for the second year straight. However, one word that physically interrupted these strikes, sending most of them online, ranked foremost: 2020 became the year of “lockdown”.

Lockdown has given us a lot of food for thought, as well as time for those thoughts. Some of us had no one to cry to but ourselves, no place to go to but our own bodies, and no work to distract ourselves with but the hardest, most draining, and strenuous work of all: working on ourselves. Indeed, this year has been like no other; not better, not worse, but rather different and incomparable.

Yet, If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t really want to rewrite my resolutions completely, adding such trivial things as being more frivolous and going out more when it’s still possible, acceptable, and safe – pursuits which with the events of this year seem far from trivial, quite frankly. Instead, I would emphasise the “big” things a little more. So, if I could travel back and give my January self any advice for the year ahead of her, this is what I’d say: Practice gratefulness. I know you’ve been journaling already, but maybe try writing down and focusing on what you’re grateful for, instead of what made you feel like shit. You’ll be surprised at what appears on the page.

You are afforded many privileges by the society you live in (they’ll become more apparent to you soon). Acknowledge those and question your beliefs. Reshape them if needed. Constantly running low on battery will only lead to more exhaustion and thus, less work getting done. Have your priorities sorted and rest before you take on more work - everything else will wait. You won’t be able to find out how much you’re able to achieve unless you give yourself some time off. And yes, time off means doing nothing. You’ll become more familiar with the concept when the time comes.

Don’t try to bite off more

than you can chew. All these activities and responsibilities that you’re so willingly taking upon yourself and trying to juggle are pointless if you don’t know what you’re doing them for. Treating your time with respect doesn’t always mean having every single hour dedicated to something useful – it can be investing it into activities which align with your goals and which make you happy.

Otherwise, you’ll struggle bigtime.

And yes, the same applies to the people you surround yourself with. I know you want to be friends with everyone - who doesn’t? Wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone liked everyone as Andy Warhol thought? Truth be told, it probably wouldn’t. There’s only so much of yourself that you can give to others, so give it to those who inspire you, support you, and who challenge you in a healthy way. And this year you’re in for a wild ride when it comes to selfgrowth, so fasten your seatbelt and make sure there’s someone to talk to when the pace gets too fast, or you get scared. Be present for them too, but don’t forget about your boundaries.

Boundaries.

Familiarise yourself with the word, please.

Don’t compromise them.

You’re strong, but you don’t always have to be – and you don’t always have to pretend that you are for the sake of others. Don’t be afraid to show vulnerability.

Let yourself be who you are and feel what you have to feel. Protect yourself and your energy.

Repressed emotions will lead to stagnation, and emotional stagnation is not a sign of strength – it’s the opposite.

Speaking of which, change your perception of physical strength and health. Now. Exercise to feel good, rather than to look good. If you work out and eat whole with only your physical appearance in mind, you’ll be disappointed. It’s your health and wellbeing that matters, everything else comes second.

Don’t worry, you’ll learn to listen to your body. It will ask you to stop fighting it.

Another crucial word to add to your vocabulary: Mindfulness.

Take care of your mind. Again, rest your mind. Quite a few things will come to the surface this year, and it will take time to work through them. But you’ll thank yourself later.

And, finally, the usual: worry less, be open to change, trust the process, and let things unfold naturally. And don’t panic, soon you won’t be such a planning and control freak anymore – that one gets sorted for you.

Should we be giving antivaxxers a platform?

Credit: Hailie Pentleton - Views Editor Sofia Della Salla SCIENCE AND TECH COLUMNIST

We are nearing the Holy Grail. Getting closer to the legendary treasure. We have potential vaccines against Covid-19. Our prayers have finally been answered!

Well, not everyone’s.

Despite being in a prolonged pandemic, there are people who still oppose vaccinations - so-called anti-vaxxers. Whether it is because a vaccine involves injecting a “foreign” substance into their body (paradoxically, many seem to not realise that the disease itself is also foreign, but no matter) or because they have a bigger bone to pick with the pharmaceutical industry as a whole, there is a growing community of anti-vaxxers popping up all over the globe. As it stands, a third of Brits and half of Americans are either completely against, or at least uncertain about, taking a vaccine against Covid-19. Interestingly, a large portion of these people wouldn’t consider themselves to be anti-vaxx; rather, many of them are “vaccine-hesitant”, a group that has grown enormously during the pandemic who are concerned about safety, efficacy, and risks v costs.

The vaccines that have been announced recently are being produced at record speeds, understandably raising the question: how do we know it’s safe? The US vaccine operation is called Operation Warp Speed, which sounds more like science fiction than science and doesn’t exactly scream safe and reliable. The fastest viral vaccine ever produced was the MMR vaccine which took 4 years.

Now we have access to a potentially effective vaccine in 9 months. This would raise anyone’s eyebrow. So understandably, a lot of people are taking the stance of “you first” when it comes to taking the vaccine.

This is where we reach a dilemma: we need a vaccine for the pandemic to end, and the quicker we get a vaccine, the quicker the pandemic ends. Simple. Yet the faster we get a vaccine, the more sceptical people become. We are caught in a tragic loop. Speed seems to have become the vice rather than the virtue we all hoped for. To end the pandemic, we need roughly 75% of people vaccinated but, as polls stand, we are barely clutching on to that magic number. This is the real crisis we are facing: having the off switch but not being able to press it.

Many answers people give in response to why they wouldn’t get vaccinated against Covid-19 are regarding safety concerns and unknown long-term side effects due to the speed at which the trials are being carried out. But the scientific community has reinforced time and time again that there is nothing to worry about. Anti-vaxxers tell a slightly different story, sowing the seeds of doubt into the general public; into otherwise bright, capable people. In my own circle of friends at UofG, people have admitted they are sceptical - people who are university educated, and some of whom study STEM subjects. They are not naïve nor stupid, but simply misinformed. In most other circumstances, someone holding a different view would pose no threat to anyone - but here, people’s lives are at stake. Is it even right to let misinformation spread the way it has been?

Should we stop giving anti-vaxxers a platform? Well…yes and no. Is it right for people to say what they want? Yes. Is it right to claim truth in unsupported claims? No. Censorship is not the answer. It wouldn’t be fair to outright block someone’s content, to remove it as if it had never existed. Not only is that morally wrong, it would just

add fuel to the fire. It would confirm the views held by many anti-vaxxers: that the government and the pharma companies don’t want us to know “the truth”. Instead, I propose complete transparency - by both parties. Whatever you say, you have to back it up with sound evidence.

Whether you are from the scientific community or you believe that Obama is actually a blood-drinking lizard, let’s see some proof.

However, there are nuances.

There’s a difference between letting someone upload a video to social media and flagging it for containing falsehoods and enabling active, weighted engagement in the debate.

You would never see a debate on mainstream media about whether 2 + 2 = 4, or whether Scotland won the World Cup...sorry. Yet we see lots of interviews and debates with science v the vaccine sceptic. This gives the impression that there is another side; that, actually, 2 + 2 could equal 5, and that this point of view is just as legitimate as 2 + 2 equalling 4.

The evidence clearly says that it is not. By the same token, anti-vaxx campaigners should not be invited to public debates or TV shows, as this legitimises their view and offers it as a valid option to agree with. But there is no agree or disagree - there is only evidence and then the lack of it. You can debate election results, how to stack a dishwasher, or whether peanut butter and jam is the ultimate combo - but you can’t debate whether or not vaccines are safe.

They are. 2 + 2 = 4.

Like I said, though, there is a difference between this high-profile media coverage and someone choosing to post to their Wordpress blog.

We cannot and should never silence people; people are free to express their thoughts however they wish.

But if a video, post or article is posted to social media, the site should flag it for containing misinformation in a similar manner it did to Trump’s tweets during the election. The fact this was managed for the election but refrained in other sectors is a dismal failure on behalf of social media sites.

Finally, we have to listen. Not to the full-on anti-vaxxers, because no one has the energy for that right now, but to the vaccine-hesitant. They need to be reassured. They don’t need high up officials patting them on the head before injecting them in the arm. Fears and worries are legitimate. If you haven’t been able to tell from the tone, I am a very strong advocate for vaccines, but I still am curious and would like some questions answered - being told to just hush and take the vaccine is insulting.

We need to offer real reassurance, otherwise they will go in the search of some elsewhere: somewhere that reinforces their scepticism. We will drive them away. Transparency, empathy and the objective support of evidence is paramount to getting 75% of the population to recognise that 2 + 2 = 4.

3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

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Studytube: you’re toxic, I’m slippin’ into a panic spiral about my productivity Basilia Weir WRITER

Maybe you’ve found yourself in the library right around midterms. You’re on the fifth or sixth floor, a lukewarm caramel latte in front of you, and a lofi playlist beating through your headphones. And yet, you can still hear the incessant clicking of keys, turning of pages, work being done. It took you twenty minutes to find a computer, and you’ve spent the forty-five minutes staring at your phone. Is that feeling in your stomach from the milky coffee, or is it imposter syndrome, bubbling up again? Yeah, no, it’s definitely the second one – this student is sus.

What if I said you could activate that same, profound feeling of fraud, all from the comfort of your own room? Introducing: studytube.

“All I could think about was getting a first, and I started choosing my grades over everything else: friends, sleep, myself...”

Perhaps your self-confidence doesn’t live and die by internet fads, so I’ll explain. Studytube is a community on YouTube, centred around, well, studying. It is mainly populated by students who post content ranging from practical advice videos, to vlogstyle “study-with-me”s. Some of the most popular student creators include Unjaded Jade, Ruby Granger and StudyQuill. And it can be quite helpful – at first.

My friend recommended I check out Eve Bennett’s channel, a studytube staple, when I was in S6. I was writing essays in the cafeteria before class, finishing project chapters at 2am and was not feeling motivated, at all. Two of Bennett’s Study With Mes later and I felt like writing out a study schedule and working my socks off. Luckily, she had videos on how to do both of these things. Quickly, I fell down the studytube rabbit-hole. Unjaded Jade taught me how to work smarter, not harder.

Ruby Granger showed me how studying can be as aesthetic as it is productive. I was hooked, and my grades were better than ever.

Cut to: the end of my first semester of uni. I was drowning in my own productivity, filled with existential dread about having to do it all over again next semester.

I barely did anything that first year except sit at my desk and read PDFs. All I could think about was

getting a first, and I started choosing my grades over everything else: friends, sleep, myself. I’d come home from uni, eat dinner and study until I went to sleep.

Whenever I’d take a break, the chorus line in my head would begin. I got three A*s. I got into Oxford. I got a first! Here’s how to get into good universities. Have a productive week! I felt like I needed to keep working, to catch up, to be a good student, to be successful. But I simultaneously had the sinking feeling that I’d squandered my first semester at university. I’d pushed away new friends, and the only memories I had were of waking up on University Avenue, wiping drool off my chin and stumbling down the stairs of the bus and onto a campus that felt so alien.

Eventually, I had to stop consuming any content related to productivity. My self-worth was entirely conflated with my output, and I realised I couldn’t untangle the two if I was surrounding myself with other people’s ideas on the matter. When you constantly watch people discuss how they need straight As or need to attend the best university, it can be hard not to internalise that and lose your own sense of achievement. Even if you already want these things, it’s easy to find yourself in a competition with people you’ll never meet; you get a B and start feeling worthless, because they would never get such a low grade (Bs are excellent, just to be clear).

I also, whilst debriefing from the community, started recognising how futile it was to compare my university experience to theirs. The influencers I watched all lived on campus and had no other part-time job outside of YouTube, which is just a tiny bit more flexible and lucrative than the average paper round. I began to understand that I didn’t have the same number of hours in a week and therefore needed to

Credit: Unsplash

find my own study schedule and my own goals, grade-wise.

Let’s go back to the library. How do you know that person smashing the keyboard beside you doesn’t have an essay due in six hours that they’ve just started? How do you know that the four-hour study with me that your favourite creator posted wasn’t the only bit of work they got done that weekend?

You never can tell. Chances are, you’re not an imposter. Everyone else is probably just really good at looking busy.

“My self-worth was entirely conflated with my output...”

The lesson here is not that studytubers are terrible influences who intentionally push toxic productivity. More so that projection and comparison are inevitable, and that it’s so easy to end up in an echo chamber of straight-As and Harvard admissions. My advice to anyone consuming this type of content is to do so with care. Try not to follow people who equate selfworth and output. If possible, stick to channels that talk less about grades and focus more on practical advice for studying.

StudyQuill is a great example of this, if you need a recommendation, and assess how your life and circumstances are different from the influencer’s, the impact this has on your studies and bear this in mind before you start comparing apples and oranges. Finally, I’d be remiss to write an article on studytube and not mention Glasgow University’s resident studytuber, Merve. If you’re in the mood, and right headspace, for a study-with-me that features your uni library and the spire in the background, look no further.

Faith, sexuality, and tiny victories Anastasija Svarevska WRITER

The human soul is a moth, attracted to the light that is the joy of being loved for who you are and being accepted as part of a community.

For centuries, we have flocked to religion to explain the unexplainable, to find peace, and to belong.

Even with people moving towards agnosticism and atheism, a majority of the world’s populous is still religious to a degree. This loyalty to faith could be because of its perception as a harbinger of salvation and inner peace. One would assume therefore that this peace and salvation would mean harmony, acceptance, and tolerance; for, to the religious, we are all children of God(s). Yet many religions see it fit to exile a part of society; refuse them the acceptance and tolerance that should inherently be part of faith — the exile of the LGBTQ+ community.

I feel I should make clear here that this is not a criticism of religion or people of faith as a whole.

Rather, it’s a criticism of the hate and exclusion that exists among some denominations, in contrast the message of peace and love that all religions share.

“A burden lies on the shoulders of Western religious leaders to acknowledge the influence they have had...”

There seems to be a power in faith that shapes the minds of its followers, crafting their world view.

When the lens through which you see the world says that your being in itself is an affront to the God(s) you might believe in, you are not just ostracized from that community you grew up in, but also are in a state of identity crisis. Are you religious? Are you bisexual? Does being one mean that you are not part of the other? Are you a good human being?

Regardless of how people choose to answer those questions for themselves, there is a lingering loss that exists. Because, more often than not, a trade-off is required: either that of sexual identity so as to retain relationships with the religious community they grew up in, or of religion, to live and love freely without judgement. So, in order to have some semblance of happiness and peace, the LGBTQ+ community is being asked to let go of a part of themselves. This is not a fair ask of anyone.

What is especially sad is that, before the advent of the rising global west and the pressing influence of mainstream western reli-

gious interpretation, several faiths in the global east and south were accepting of LGBTQ+ people. Homosexuality, gender fluidity, and transgender identities were a part of the culture and society in many religious communities. With the arguably ongoing domination of Western thought, many of these communities have changed their perspectives. If a stream of thought that emerged from one small part of the world changed the views, lives, and futures of an overwhelming majority, it is not unfair to ask that small part of the world to lead the way in setting things right.

“Are you religious? Are you bisexual?

Does being one mean that you are not part of the other?...”

Again, I feel the need to intervene and say that this by no means absolves responsibility off of other religions, their leaders, and their followers in standing against the bigotry faced by the LGBTQ+ community. I simply believe that it’s fair to say that a burden lies on the shoulders of Western religious leaders to acknowledge the influence they have had over the centuries and work towards making right the things that went wrong due to that influence.

It seems like the leader of the Roman Catholic world decided to take a small step in doing so.

“They’re children of God and have a right to a family. Nobody should be thrown out or be made to be miserable because of it,” said Pope Francis. His message to the world’s 1.2 billion Catholics sounds inspiring, an apology to years of suffering and confusion experienced by the Catholic LGBTQ+ community. The effect this will have on their lives is by no means small, considering that to devout Roman Catholics, the papal office dictates the moral code and way of life. The question is, however, to what extent this message will be upheld by future popes - and more importantly, if this will lead to dissent within the ranks of the Catholic church and its conservative followers. For now, Pope Francis’ words seem to be a start towards illuminating a path of acceptance and community — a path to a future where the religious world is accepting of the LGBTQ+ community.

That said, this is only a tiny victory in the long war for identity and acceptance. The Catholic church, and other religions, have a long way to go in righting the wrongs of history. Until then, the world must fight: fight for the rights of humanity until all those exiled can find solace in their religion again.

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3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

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Endless news consumption doesn’t benefit any of us Bea Crawford WRITER

Some days, keeping up with the news can feel like you’re drowning. In our age of information, the “bad stuff” can feel inescapable - 86% of us reach for our phones within an hour of waking up, 33% within five minutes. The news is no longer constrained to BBC Breakfast on our telly; nowadays it seems to seep into almost everything we do online. The morning Twitter scroll, the impulsive checking of Instagram stories of people you went to high school with - there’s no escape from the real world within the digital one.

And so, enter: “news fatigue”.

“Try not to give too much mind to the fact that you can’t change it all...”

According to the internet’s most reliable site, Urban Dictionary, news fatigue is defined as “becoming tired of the constant negativity or political prop-

aganda in the news.” This year, more than ever, the phrase has crept into the general vernacular. There’s just something about the combination of a pandemic, months-long protests, the global impact of a US election and a looming Brexit deadline that has mentally exhausted us all a little - who knew? In light of the pandemic, even our activism has moved online - think about the George Floyd petition on Change. org, which is now approaching 20m signatures. Global lockdowns throughout the spring resulted in millions of people being stuck inside their homes, relying on the news and social media to remind them that there was, in fact, still a world outside of their front door. As a result, news sites like The Guardian received 2.17bn page views in March, smashing their previous record by 750m. While it’s always good to be politically conscious and aware of current events, it comes as no surprise to admit that constantly having your head stuck in the world’s bad news can seriously affect your mental health.

But why, exactly, does this influx of news mentally exhaust us so much? It could be the overall depressing tone of the everyday news, especially in such a tu-

multuous year - the Covid death rates, the social inequalities inherent in our society, the political extremism running rampant across the globe. The news also has a funny habit of making us feel totally powerless: as viewers, we feel like we have no influence over the events we’re seeing, which can result in a “bad things are going to happen whether I know about them or not” mindset. In turn, we start to avoid the news entirely, which may benefit our mental health in the present moment, but still isn’t a perfect solution in the long run.

“Constantly having your head stuck in the world’s bad news can seriously affect your mental health...”

So, how can we strike a balance between staying informed about the world around us and protecting our own mental health by ceasing this endless scrolling? One thing we can do is

attempt to curb our social media usage - or at least give ourselves a few technology-free moments a day. I’ve personally seen a major change in my mood and in my overall focus over the past few months since I made a few rules for myself. For example, I don’t use my phone an hour after waking up, or before going to bed, which helps to limit those all-too-familiar instances of falling into a deep, dark hole on Twitter or The Guardian website first thing in the morning. With my bedroom now doubling as a lecture hall, I’ve been trying to compartmentalise slightly by restricting most of my scrolling to the kitchen when I’m eating meals. My diary bears the brunt of my “the world is on fire and I don’t know how to stop it” worries, helping to ground me more in the present moment rather than being stuck in the past or fearing such an indeterminable future. I’ve also found that the occasional FaceTime rant to your best friend about what you’ve lost to Covid this year can go a long way for your general mental health. Staying positive, staying busy, staying grounded - that has become my unwritten mantra since March.

There is no perfect reme-

dy for news fatigue; this year, we’re all in uncharted territory.

“The news also has a funny habit of making us feel totally powerless: as viewers, we feel like we have no influence over the events we’re seeing...”

Now, more than ever, I think it’s important to give yourself time to just exist in this moment, coping with everything that’s going on in your own way, and try not to give too much mind to the fact that you can’t change it all. It’s far from a sin to give yourself some time to process all of these explosive events, but none of us should succumb to staying in our own echo chambers, uninformed of the world around us. Life’s a balancing act, after all - in this area, 2020 is no different.

Editorial: The airing of grievances Jordan Hunter EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

2020 is thankfully coming to an end with some positivity in sight.

We have a vaccine on the horizon, Trump is out of office, and the possibility of Holly getting into Hive again before she graduates no longer feels like a pipe dream.

“We can still find comfort in the simple things that make this season great...”

Although on our journey back to a society full of pints of fun and nights out, we will be also facing those nasty parts of socialisation that we’re grateful to have avoided for the last 10 months - the ones we now might even secretly miss.

So this month, we decided to take a note from Seinfeld (did you know Jordan is American?).

For those not familiar with the show, there is a holiday devoid of religion and commercialism in which the characters celebrate by telling people their problems. We wanted to do something that is slightly different, so we are going to tell you the problems we used to have before Covid that we now

look back fondly on. So to get us started in the wise words of Frank Costanza: “I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you’re gonna hear about it!”

Jordan Hunter, Editor -inChief: Mariah Carey. I can’t tell you how overrated All I Want for Christmas Is You truly is. It’s fine on the radio every once in a while, but please, I don’t need it to repeat everywhere I go. I go to bed and it’s still playing in my head like white noise. That being said, it is a marker of the Christmas season, and in a year which couldn’t feel less Christmassy, I’m missing Mariah. I guess what I’m saying Mariah is, all I want for Christmas is you.

Pubs. How come you’re only full when I feel the need to go. I used to walk past pubs every other night of the week and no one will be there, but all of sudden, when I decide to go, people are crowding it like there is tomorrow. It’s not even just because it’s the weekend, no. I could go at 2pm on a Tuesday and it will still be full just because I wanted to go. Although, I’d do anything just to be let back in the doors, even if it meant standing for the entire trip.

Black Friday. It’s an absolute state going around the shops while everyone and their mother is fighting for the next deal. It resembles more of a battlefield than a festive event of giving. The queues last ages and people are just shoving left and right, all whilst trying

to run through excessively large crowds. Sadly, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to go to those same shops again.

“We will be also facing those nasty parts of socialisation that we’re grateful to have avoided for the last 10 months...”

Holly Jennings, Editor -inChief: This year, I’m missing waiting. I think I set the record for the most impatient person in the world, and simultaneously, the fastest eater (seriously I think I can finish a Paesano in sub 60 seconds). So when the obligatory Christmas party rolls around, I’m usually not looking forward to it, not because of the overwhelming fear of having to dance in front of my colleagues and somehow expect to maintain respect in the workplace come Monday, but because of that wait between starter, main, and dessert. No matter the size of your dinner party, I can guarantee you that you would be able to read War and Peace twice over in the space between the first starter and last dinner being

Credit: NBC served. Next year, I’m looking forward to my stomach grumbling during the wait.

Festivus is a family event, so we reached out to our team to let them air their grievances.

Chloe Waterhouse, Deputy Editor-in-Chief: Waiting in line for Fraser Building pizza, knowing fine well it will taste of misery - I never thought I’d miss your cardboard taste.

Ananya Venkatesan, Theatre Editor: Clubbing. Clubbing is good fun, but only sometimes.

Bars and gaff are just so much better. But, I do miss Hive.

Allison Campbell, Photography and Illustrations Manager: There’s nothing worse than sitting in a crowded, chaotic airport for hours, waiting in lines and running to gates. Sure we’ve all agreed to suspending judgement,

but the excitement of going somewhere new or returning home at the end is irreplaceable.

Craig Smith, Sports Editor: There‘a obviously a lot of downsides to commenting but I miss the opportunity to listen to podcasts, I know there are other opportunities to listen but I feel I never make time when I’m not forced into it (as I feel I am when I commute).

All grievances aside, we here at The Glasgow Guardian wish you a happy Festivus as well as happy holidays. We know this year might look different to what you might expect this time of year, but can still find comfort in the simple things that make this season great. We wish you all the best in the new year and good riddance to the old. We can’t wait to see, and write about, all you do next year.

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Views

Vent to views: advice from our editors This month Emily and Hailie discuss work-life balance and what to do when you find a lump Hailie Pentleton and Emily Hay VIEWS EDITORS

I’ve recently discovered what feels like a lump on my cervix. I know that there’s a million things this could be, but I’m automatically terrified it could be cancerous. I don’t want to seem over cautious if it’s nothing, so I don’t know who to turn to for advice especially when the NHS is stretched so thin at the moment and I don’t want to worry my family/friends. I’m trying to stay away from Google as it’ll only make things worse, but I’m just worried as to what it could be.

Emily: First of all, try to stay calm, you said it yourself: there are a million things this could be. Even if it is something, that doesn’t automatically equal cancerous, and neither does cancerous automatically equal untreatable or life-threatening. You’re also right not to Google it - I’ve had nurse and doctor friends tell me that the internet will tell you almost any health symptom means that you’re dying. But what you are wrong about is not wanting to seem overly cautious and get it checked out.

Yes, the NHS is stretched thin right now, but remember that’s not your fault - that’s firmly on the shoulders of the government, not on people who need to access vital

healthcare. If it is nothing, then it shouldn’t be any bother at all for a doctor to take a look to rule anything nasty like the c-word out to give you piece of mind. And if it does turn out to be something, both you and those treating you are going to be much happier that you got it checked out and caught early rather than waiting until later down the line when it gets worse and there are less treatment options. Some routine treatments have been slowed down or cancelled right now, but you should still be able to get an appointment – be it in person or virtual – with your GP where you can flag it up as an issue. There’s never any harm in asking, but there could be a lot of harm in not.

As for your family and friends, tell them about it but reiterate the fact that it isn’t a big deal and that you’re getting it checked out. It’s better to tell them now in case it does turn out to be anything, and at the same time talking to people you know about it should help take some of the weight off of you and put things in perspective.

You don’t have to wait until something’s serious and confirmed before telling those close to you, and you’re allowed to lean on people every now and then, remember that.

I want to spend time with my bf but I also have so much work to do and don’t want neither my relationship nor my grades to suffer, (he lives

an hour away by train) what to do?

Hailie: I’m lucky enough to live with my partner now, but even we’ve been struggling to strike the balance between workingfrom-home and spending time together. One thing that’s been really important for us is to set clear boundaries and maintain those, even when that all-too-familiar urge to crawl back into bed creeps in. So, when I’m working at my desk during the day, he knows not to come through to my workspace without sending me a quick message first. It sounds rigid, but it means that we’re both responsible for meeting our own goals and helps to avoid the inevitable distraction that occurs when you spend time with someone you love. Whatever it may be, being upfront with your partner about your needs and goals makes it a whole lot easier to honour them yourself. Maybe you agree with your boyfriend that you won’t text him while you’re supposed to be working, or you limit yourself to how much time you spend talking during your working time. The last thing you want to do is start resenting your boyfriend for holding you back, even if it’s not really his fault that you’re struggling to concentrate.

Your studies are so important, but your relationship should never fall by the wayside because of them. Learning to prioritise is important in any relationship,

but that doesn’t mean you should ever view spending time with your boyfriend as any less important than the hours you spend buried in textbooks. Set dates or activities in advance. Call me old-fashioned, but I enjoy the looking-forward aspect of dating as much as the date itself. Regardless of how much work we have going on, my partner and I always make time to watch a movie with each other on a Friday night. No distractions; good snacks and good vibes only.

To make it easier on yourself, agree with your boyfriend that you’ll split the traveling. When he’s coming to you, there’s an extra two hours of your day that you can spend however you please.

Agree to meet halfway, wrap up, and go for a long walk with a picnic. If the work is piling up and it’s your turn to travel, use that hour on the train there to read or work on your laptop. As soon as you’re together though, put your studies to the side. Unless he’s a terrible, terrible shag (in which case, maybe do avoid spending time together) you should never be thinking about that essay you have due when you’re trying to unwind with the person you love.

Make it clear to draw a line under your work when you’re in that space; even if you have mountains to do, you can afford to take a few hours to relax with someone who cares about you. Self-care isn’t just facemasks and fluffy pajamas; it’s making sure that all of your needs

are being met, and quality time with the people you love is one of those needs.

Also, don’t underestimate the importance of phone calls and Facetime, especially now, even if it is an exhausted message. Right now, it’s even harder to stay on top of everything; I don’t know if you’ve heard, but you’re living through a pandemic. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re finding it hard to balance everything; you obviously care a lot about your partner and your work. Set boundaries, honour your plans, and don’t be afraid to stick your work to the side in favour of relaxing; everyone deserves that, boyfriend or not.

Have a question you’d like Emily and Hailie to answer? Scan the QR code to make an anonymous submission for our next issue!

Contributors Editors Holly Jennings & Jordan Hunter Deputy Editors Rebecca Scott & Chloe Waterhouse Production Tara Gandhi & Rebecca Scott News Jasmine Urquhart, Holly Jennings, Matilda Handley, Ollie Rudden, Finlay MacDonald, Ross McCool, Luke Chafer, SIlas Pease, Giselle Inglis, Lucy Dunn Views Sophie Kernachan, Melanie Goldberg, Flora Gosling, Rachael Wilson, Hailie Pentleton, Tara Gandhi, Holly Jennings,Emily Hay, Rachel Campbell.

Anastasija Svarevska, Sofia Della Salla, Basilia Weir, Bea Crawford, Jordan Hunter

Features Lucy Fitzgerald, Christy O’Hanlon Culture Flora Ritchie, Genevieve Brown, Reilly Dufresne, Lucy Fitzgerald, Hugo McGregor, Anton Ferrie, Sophie Kelly, Karolina Omenzetter, Bea Crawford, Rebecca Richard, Madeline Pritchard, Jamine Urquhart, Ananya Venkatesan, Michelle Osborne, SofiaStephens, Chloe Waterhouse, Laurie Clarke, Katherine Prentice, Ben Findlay Science & Tech Michelle Osborne, Katrina Williams, Claire Thomson Sport Max Kelly, Jamie Byrne, Craig Smith, Claire Thomson

Photography & Illustrations Allison Campbell, AJ Duncan, Dorota Dziki, Jenny Dimitriadi, Hailie Pentleton, Ioanna Chrysanthakopoulou, Nairne Clark Hopkinson, Hepzi Rattray, Rosie Wilson, Emma Garcia Melchor, Katrina Williams, Anna Woodstock

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Proofing, Layout & Copyediting Holly Jennings, Jordan Hunter, Rebecca Scott, Chloe Waterhouse, Ollie Rudden, Matilda Handley, Silas Pease, Hailie Pentleton, Emily Hay, Nairne Clark Hopkinson, Jamie Salem Dalgety, Rosie Shackles, Genevieve Brown, Katrina Williams, Heather McSwan, Jodie Leith, Sofia Stephens, Madeline Pritchard, Max Kelly, Ananya Venkatesan, Michelle Osborne, Jamie Byrne, Craig Smith

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Happy Holidays from the team at The Glasgow Guardian!

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Picking a bone with: The quadruple threat: White, male, posh and English specific geographical choice as to where we will begin our career [referring to the UK/New York/ LA]. So, we don’t have to wait tables for years to get a break in a pilot season. We can cut our teeth doing Fringe shows”. Yeah, no shit Sherlock, of course that is your experience. What about the non-White British actors trying to consolidate a portfolio during a dry spell of employment?

Lucy Fitzgerald FILM & TV COLUMNIST

An unpalatable truth of the current UK acting industry is that it almost exclusively reserves its most glittering job prospects and abundance of praise for White, male, upper class actors from England. An unbiased sample of British talent should show more than just Anglo gentlemen who were Made in Chelsea - we need to talk about Kensington…

“High-born White models can now instantly have fully fledged acting careers...”

“Elitism is an epidemic, that much is clear...”

You know when you have a loose thought swimming about in your mind, and then you see someone articulate your intended sentiment perfectly, providing a coherent distillation of your underdeveloped talking points, backed up with evidence and sealed in polish phrasing? Well, I had that experience this summer when I swallowed Nathalie Olah’s electrifying, didactic, anti-capitalist Steal As Much As You Can: How To Win The Culture Wars in an Age of Austerity in one ravenous bite. It examined the rampant classism currently being wielded most violently by middle and upper-class cultural gatekeepers, and illuminates the political weight this carries.

Specifically, Olah evaluates the distinctly non-working class IT girls/boys who represented Britain on the global stage post 2008: “The nineties figure of the posh anomaly, typified by Hugh Grant, would become the model for a new generation of actors, including Benedict Cumberbatch, Eddie Redmayne and Tom Hiddleston, who became inescapable during the 2010s…Under the blue-blooded auspices of David Cameron and his acolytes, and following the flagrant abandonment of the working classes by the Liberal Democrats and the centrist fac-

Credit: Nairne Clark Hopkinson - Features Editor tions within the Labour party, the wealthy elites were given carte blanche to flaunt their culture, almost to the derision and mockery of everyone else. Gone was the shame of being posh that bands such as Blur had suffered under” (Think Jack Whitehall milking the charming Waitrose jokes for nearly 10 years). Haughty and Royal Ascotty, the unholy trinity of Benedict Cucumberpatch and Co may seem indistinguishable from the OG Bullingdon Boys of BAFTA: Ralph Fiennes, Colin Firth, Kenneth Branagh and Jeremy Irons, however, these men are a generation younger, and crucially catapulted into stardom after the economic crash. With their gleaming CVs replete with prestigious gigs, they breezed through the unemployment cri-

sis. After leading sycophantic establishment films celebrating valiant British men, the securing of big budget Disney and Warner Bros Sci-Fi contracts cemented their pop culture tenure.

“It is not my intention to launch personal attacks of character assassination on actors who have lived exceptionally privileged lives...”

An exercise, with an inevitably

deflating outcome, that I inflict upon myself is scanning the “Early Life” section of Wikipedia pages. In such biographical soundbites, my predictions of private education consistently come true (all the aforementioned are alumni of some breed of independent boarding school or Oxbridge constituent college). Henry Cavill, Robert Pattinson and Tom Holland all hail from fee-paying institutions. Think Ezekiel 35:35 for this socio-economic hierarchy in the arts: “This land that was desolate has become like the garden of Eton”.

In a Hollywood Reporter Roundtable, the Imitation Game star admitted the easier time Brits have compared to Americans, when chasing the big La La Land dream: “We don’t have to make a

In Simon Frederick’s 2018 Netflix series They’ve Gotta Have Us, director Destiny Ekaragha described the UK’s sinister problem with inclusion for Black creatives: “America is extremely racist, but their racism is so upfront, they can fight it. You can fight what you can see. Through struggle and strife and all that kind of stuff comes the arts. And so, through that, they’ve created just slightly more opportunities. The racism here is slightly more insidious, because we almost pretend like racism never existed. That’s why we’re finding it so difficult to progress.” Thespian David Harewood’s experience of limited opportunity in Britain illustrates this: “In America, I can play the head of the CIA, or the President.

But in England, if I was to play the Prime Minister, people would say ‘There’s not a black Prime Minister. There’s never been a black Prime Minister. How is he playing the Prime Minister?’ I haven’t worked in England for 10 years. That’s really quite extraordinary. I was a novelty, I was this classically trained Black actor with a received pronunciation voice, a classical voice, and there just weren’t any parts for

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Features

“Huge portions of society grow up without seeing themselves reflected on screen...”

Credit: Nairne Clark Hopkinson - Features Editor me.” When Harewood took on the role of Shakespeare’s Othello – a Black General - The Independent published a slam piece affirming: “It’s a great shame to deprive White actors of one of the most demanding roles in the repertoire”. Analogously, the reaction to David Oyelowo playing Henry XI was blatantly racist, as the supposedly progressive Guardian declared “we open ourselves to ridicule if we allow black people to play these kind of parts”.

“Unbiased sample of British talent should show more than just Anglo gentlemen who were Made in Chelsea...”

This insidious discrimination of casting still persists - the aforesaid cultural gatekeepers only permit a couple of Black British actors every 10 years or so to be critically acclaimed- evidenced in Daniel Kaluuya and Chiwetel Ejiofor’s best actor nominations in 2017 and 2013 at the BAFTAs and Academy Awards - the only Black British men ever honoured.

Gracing the GQ cover last September, John Boyega spoke about his character Finn in the Star Wars franchise being brazenly side-lined. When speaking on inclusivity in front of and behind the camera during her experience filming in London, Sandra Oh

from Killing Eve, stated: “Being the sole Asian person is a very familiar place for me… The UK, I’m not afraid to say, is behind…

Sometimes it would be me and 75 white people”. Furthermore, White actors are given free reign to disregard identity politics and put their “artistic stamp” on the experiences of oppressed groups they aren’t part of, like Eddie Redmayne playing a trans man in The Danish Girl and the disabled Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything, while facing little contention for such entitled performances.

Compare the success of these plummy performers to other UK actors who are just as talented.

For example, why hasn’t David Tennant entered that strata? In a 2019 Sunday Times interview the Scottish Doctor Who was compared to Doctor Strange, questioning why he has not procured a role that would confer upon him superstar repute: “I don’t think particularly tactically, I don’t think you can as an actor… Money, career, and art are the three reasons to do a job, and if you can get two out of three you should do the job. It’s quite a good formula.”

I attended a talk last year where Alan Cummings spoke about the virulent anti-Scottishness in London’s drama scene and that such poisoned attitudes have affected his career. Now, he attests he wears his “Scottishness as a badge of honour” and implored the audience to do the same (the recent Euros qualifying victory has been a boost of national pride!). Indeed, any deviation from south England is never

glorified - scouser Stephen Graham is only recently getting his mainstream plaudits despite being in the business for 30 years.

Some may counter my argument by noting the success of Glaswegian Gerard Butler’s ubiquity in feature films (his inhaling of 10 shitty studio scripts a month is comparable to the artistic integrity bypass of one Mark Wahlberg) or Ewan McGregor. I dismiss this suggestion for two reasons: firstly, as long as purported Celt Stephen Colbert is stunned at James MacAvoy’s use of the word “Och!” and secondly that all of these Scottish stars have to adopt either an American or English accent in nearly all of their work, there is still much progress to be made.

“‘This land that was desolate has become like the garden of Eton’...”

A sexist element clearly applies to this selective state of affairs.

The Eton to EGOT springboard is readily available for men, but not to the same extent for women. Women simply do not receive the same universal acclaim - in the form of a continuous stream of guaranteed work, intense fan bases or accolades. Despite nearly 20 years in the business, trained actress Sienna Miller (graduate of Marilyn Monroe and Harvey Keitel’s former acting school) only secured her first lead role in 2018’s American Woman. However, the race and class components prevail. Afterall, we have watched posh White English women such as Emily Blunt, Felicity Jones, Emilia Clarke, Keira Knightley, Helena Bonham Carter (who is literal aristocracy) ride a meteoric rise to fame. They became household names in a relatively short space of time, especially when compared to Black and POC British actresses who have been grafting for years (an American parallel can be seen in Viola Davis’ acting prowess and trophy cabinet being commensurate with that of Meryl Streep, yet culturally Davis is simply not heralded in the same way). The same White privilege can be attributed to the new batch of Gen Z stars: Sophie Turner, Florence Pugh,

and Millie Bobby Brown. Nathalie Olah, when speaking again on the last decade’s overt classism in the arts, stated: “the world of theatre would largely abandon any efforts to democratise, positing Polly Stenham as the voice of young London, despite her being the heir to Unilever millions and a graduate of the £12-grand-a-term Wycombe Abbey Girls School”.

High-born White models can now instantly have fully fledged acting careers, think Cara Delevingne and Suki Waterhouse, seamlessly catwalking to the movie red carpet. Jodie Comer is the only example that I can conceive, of a woman with a regional accent currently making waves across the pond. The British women who have received best actress at the Academy Awards have all been White: Olivia Colman, Kate Winslet, Helen Mirren, and Emma Thompson. While they are undoubtedly doyens of their craft, the question remains why equally gifted and hardworking Black and POC actresses have not attained the same level of status.

Naomie Harris, Thandie Newton, Zawe Ashton, Sophie Okonedo and Freema Agyeman, have now found homes in American series and franchises. Unsettlingly, Cynthia Erivo was the first Black British woman to be nominated, in the award ceremony’s 92-year history, for the best actress Oscar, for her portrayal of Harriet Tubman (although, many take issue with the reality that the only times the talent of Black artists is recognised is when they feature

in “Black Pain” narratives; positing that audiences should be able to respond to the multifaceted existence of the Black community and, most importantly, their joy). Already with BAFTAs under their belts respectively, young Black British actresses Letitia Wright (Black Panther, TopBoy) and Michaela Coel (Chewing Gum, Black Earth Rising, I May Destroy You), I hope their star power continues to be uplifted internationally.

“White actors are given free rein to disregard identity politics...”

Ultimately, it is not my intention to launch personal attacks of character assassination on actors who have lived exceptionally privileged lives (apart from the breathtakingly irritating Eddie Redmayne). Instead, it is to critique the system and culture that allows such exclusivity to prosper. The consequence is twofold: it limits storytelling and perpetuates the cycle of huge portions of society growing up without seeing themselves reflected on screen.

Elitism is an epidemic, that much is clear. And while I am happy in the meantime to self-isolate from the scourge of these Westminster Wankers, I hope the vaccine of diversity is round the corner.

Credit: Nairne Clark Hopkinson - Features Editor

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Features

From archaic to famous, the new rise of Gaelic Examining the sudden popularity surrounding a once dying language imately 60,000 people today.

Scottish Gaelic launched on Duolingo in November of 2019 and recently celebrated a magnificent milestone of half a million course users. This platform has provided Gaelic with a global stage and allowed for it to be placed on a pedestal similar to its related Celtic languages like Irish and Welsh which have also proved to be very successful on Duolingo. Most importantly, the accessibility of the app has meant that people from all backgrounds and experiences can be encouraged to learn some of the basics of Scottish Gaelic and get a grasp on the language through an extremely user-friendly and interactive app.

Credit: Nairne Clark Hopkinson - Features Editor Christy O’Hanlon WRITER

In July of this year, The Guardian released an article casting a very gloomy cloud over the Gaelic speaking community, titled “Scots Gaelic could die out within a decade.” The article went on to describe how Gaelic is only used routinely by a “diminishing number of elderly islanders.” This kick-started a series of articles by different newspapers and news outlets, claiming that the death of Gaelic was on the horizon. Sadly, it seems that articles and headlines as such are nothing out of the ordinary to Gaelic speakers and the Gaelic speaking community.

As a Gaelic speaker, who funnily enough isn’t an elderly islander, I’ve grown up already aware of the prejudice that was associated with Gaelic both historically and in our current society today. Of course, what was once a very popular and widely spoken language here in Scotland is not in the healthy state that it once was. However, is Scottish Gaelic truly taking its last living breaths? Or is the language facing a steady revival, slowly but surely making a comeback?

“I refuse to read another article claiming the imminent death of our beloved language...”

Gaelic language and culture has, of course, had to leap many hurdles in its time. A cruel combination of colonisation, clearances, and both the Acts of Proscription of 1746 and the Education Scotland Act of 1872; which not only saw Gaelic language banned in Scottish schools, but also outlawed the wearing of kilts/tartan, and the playing of bagpipes. These ultimately led to a progressive decline of the language, from being a principle tongue in Scotland to a UNESCO endangered language. However, despite Gaelic’s unfortunate past, a small number of speakers managed to resist oppression and persisted onto paving a new future for the language in Scotland. In 2005, the Scottish parliament passed an act that set out to protect Gaelic as one of the national languages of Scotland. And since the passing

of this act, there has been a large increase in young people learning the language through Gaelic Medium Education (GME). Here in Glasgow, there has been a massive demand for GME with multiple Gaelic primary schools cropping up over the city after The Glasgow Gaelic School, or Sgoil Ghàidhlig Ghlaschu’s, success in educating children from primary school all the way through to their final year of high school. The Glasgow Gaelic School sits just a stone’s throw away from our Gilmorehill campus and is existing evidence that Gaelic can exist and thrive in our central belt schools and communities once again. It is through this encouraging appetite for more Gaelic medium education for young people in Glasgow that our city has earned the unofficial title as the mainland capital of Gaelic. Glasgow is rich in Gaelic culture and language, from both past and present, and examples of our language, music, and traditions can be seen flourishing across the city today.

The launch of Scottish Gaelic on the popular language learning app Duolingo was also a massive accomplishment for the language that is only spoken by approx-

“The firstgeneration Gaelic speakers that we’re seeing today are creating a brand new image for what it means to be a Gael...”

So why are we still seeing negative articles and headlines about the progression of Gaelic?

In their aforementioned article, The Guardian notes that in a study carried out by the University of the Highlands and Islands, it was discovered that only 11,000 people were habitual Gaelic speakers. As a Gaelic speaker, I have to hold my hands up and say that when I am not at University with Gaelic speaking friends, that the habitual use of the language is not high up on my priority list. However, I don’t actually see a problem with this number. To me it seems absurd that there is immediate pessimism over the language due to how often it’s spoken in our daily lives. Shockingly, the world and society around me favours English, and if I were to walk into any shop, pub, or restaurant speaking in Gaelic, I probably wouldn’t get

very far. For myself, and many other Gaelic speakers, we come from families who are still dealing with the years of language oppression, and the same prejudice they faced in their schools and communities. Many of whom, my parents included, were not educated through Gaelic due to the false stigma created in an attempt to ensure its decline over the years. In Glasgow now, around 80% of families who send their children to Gaelic schools do not have any previous knowledge or connection to the language, meaning that habitual use of the language is usually not an option.

However, does this really have to be as negative a picture as it’s often painted to be? I personally see this as a huge success for the language, as it proves that Gaelic Medium Education is accessible and appealing to families from all walks of life, especially those who have no previous ties to the language. The first-generation Gaelic speakers that we’re seeing today are creating a brand new image for what it means to be a Gael, and are paving the way to revive Gaelic language and culture in a modernised fashion that can co-exist and thrive in a multi-cultural and diverse Scotland.

Perhaps I am biased, and I’m looking at the current state of Gaelic, and its future, through rose-tinted glasses. However, I truly believe that the Gaelic speaking community is due some optimism about our future, which at times can feel bleak. I refuse to read another article claiming the imminent death of our beloved language, for we owe it to every Gael who fought against their language being stolen from their lips, to carry the same optimism for the language that they did. The recent news of Gaelic´s success on Duolingo, and the evident increase and demand for Gaelic in our schools pave a very exciting and bright path for the future of Gaelic and its speakers. Gaelic’s not dead or dying, and it’s just as alive as the people who speak it – Suas Leis a’ Ghàidhlig!

3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

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Culture

The battle for Christmas number one Flora Ritchie questions whether Spotify killed the radio star

one nowadays, it appears a cause and campaign are necessary.

Why should artists care about conquering the Christmas charts, when it’s the duration of their stay that matters? John McKie, former editor of Smash Hits and The Glasgow Guardian, proposes that it’s increased sales, induced by collective gifting, which make the Christmas number one desirable: “Popstars are competitive. ABBA sing about feeling like a number one, Tina Turner doesn’t sing about second best. So, they want to be number one at the busiest time of year for sales.”

Even tracks sans festivity, save for some silver bells, enjoy a far greater afterlife through their association with Christmas thanks to their position. You need only look at East 17’s Stay Another Day to realise the spot’s significance; a song about a family suicide is considered as much a Christmas classic as All I Want for Christmas by Mariah Carey, whom the group outsold in 1994.

Flora Ritchie WRITER

“So, this is Christmas, and what have you done?”

Advent is approaching, albeit with an unaccustomed absence of theatre audiences chorusing “he’s behind you!” and unseasonably shuttered shops and stalls. The solid traditions we associate with yuletide are thawing. But one tradition’s prominence withered before “lockdown” or “self-isolation” became part of our everyday lexicon: the once fiercely fought, festive fight for the chart-topper on Christmas Day.

“Christmas number ones embody a multifarious madness matched only by Eurovision...”

Credit: Allison Campbell - Photography and Illustrations Manager In 1952, New Music Express published the “Top 12” best-selling singles, compiled from sales in around 20 record shops. Now, the familiar 40 comprises downloads and streaming stats. Since these charts began the (most wonderful) time of the year, most highly favoured of all 52 weeks was the number one spot on Christmas Day. Despite the 50s and 60s hosting celebrated classics - Jingle Bell Rock, Run Rudolph Run and Santa Baby, among others - Al Martino’s Here in my Heart topped the first Christmas charts and kick-started the pattern of crowning non-Christmassy songs. Four of these years lacked festive spirit as Beatlemania possessed 60s Britain. During these decades, a measly two Christmas songs were top of the tree: Dickie Valentine’s Christmas Alphabet and Harry Belafonte’s Mary’s Boy Child, which earned a subsequent place in the sun (or should that be snow?) with Boney M’s 1978 mashup.

Like Americans, the charts

came of age in their 21st year, when the first charge in a battle for top spot was initiated by the close combat of Christmas songs released in 1973, by glam-rock groups Wizzard and Slade. This battle culminated on Top of the Pops with a jovial custard pie in the faces of frontmen Roy Wood and Noddy Holder. Ultimately, Slade made mincemeat of Wizzard - but no commiserations need be offered, as both have become firm festive favourites, keeping the cash register ringing for Roy Wood and producing agreeable royalties for Noddy.

From 1973, the UK feasted on a surfeit of merry music much of which has become part of the classic Christmas canon, including Merry Christmas Everyone

by Shakin’ Stevens and Lonely this Christmas by fellow glamrock band, Mud. 11 years later the UK witnessed another close - but not exactly cut-throat competition between Wham!’s Last Christmas and the famous flock, shepherded by Bob Geldof,

Band Aid’s Do They Know It’s Christmas? Despite failing to reach the snow-capped summit, surely George Michael was saved from tears upon discovering Last Christmas was the biggest selling Christmas number two of all time. Following 1984’s fight against famine in Ethiopia, three Band Aids formed (1989, 2004, and 2014) - the last being the only one not to claim the coveted title. These set a charitable precedent in the season of giving, evident in contemporary winners such as LadBaby’s sausage roll single and Wherever You Are by The Military Wives.

Christmas number ones embody a multifarious madness matched only by Eurovision; from a Roman Catholic school choir singing about grandma, to innuendo-ridden rhymes about the fastest milkman in the west.

All logic is tossed upon the fire and set ablaze when Bob the Builder and Mr Blobby beat beloved boy bands Westlife and Take That. Captivation with the

chart’s chaotic character continued until that Goliath, The X Factor, eclipsed any glimmer of hope for an underdog. Although Cowell purports he did “everyone a favour”, the domination of power ballads from reality television winners was enough to initiate an anti-X Factor campaign in 2009, endeavouring to reclaim the charts from Cowell’s clutches. The internet-led protest had the unlikely frontman of 90s American rock band, Rage Against the Machine with Killing in the Name, which possessed neither tidings of comfort and joy nor heralded peace on earth and goodwill toward men: “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.”

We cannot exclusively blame Cowell for ruining the riveting holiday ritual – streaming presents us with unceasing access to the charts and has made listening to music a more passive act.

With fewer people purchasing tangible singles, is it any wonder we’ve become disengaged? If anyone wishes to achieve number

“All logic is tossed upon the fire and set ablaze when Bob the Builder and Mr Blobby beat beloved boy bands Westlife and Take That...”

In the year prophesied as the antithesis of a Wonderful Christmastime, the charts are beginning to look a lot like Christmas earlier than ever, with sales and streaming of festive favourites up 51% in November. The nation is utilising music to bring some joy to the world. Could this premature injection of holiday spirit restore the charts to their former glory and encourage a novelty Noel number to victory? All that’s left to do is find out.

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3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

Culture

Home Comforts: The 1970s origins of chicken dish Genevieve Brown CULTURE EDITOR

When I asked my friends if they’d heard of a main course that consisted of chicken in a chicken soup-and-mayonnaise sauce with a topping of crisps and cheese, the reaction was broadly of horror. There is disagreement among my relatives over the origin of this family favourite, known only as “Chicken Dish”. It features one of my favourite cooking phenomena – tinned-soup-as-sauce. My granny asserts that my great-auntie Hazel is the source of the recipe.

Indeed, Hazel makes a similar Boxing Day dish that consists of turkey; tinned mushroom soup; curry powder; and mayonnaise.

It’s fantastic. However, my mum, a woman with the type of incredible memory that can be both a blessing and a curse, suggests that the recipe was from the Forres Round Table. Round Tables were clubs for local business-owners, formed for the purposes of socialising and collecting money for community causes. My granda was a mem-

ber of the branch in his northern Scottish town. Research reveals that the organisation still exists today, with The Round Table Great Britain and Ireland Facebook page describing its purpose as “Fun Friendship and Fundraising & the odd beer.” In the 70s, entrepreneur members would draw straws to decide which course they would make for the affiliated dinner parties. Through this association, or the female equivalent Ladies’ Circle, is probably how my granny first encountered “Chicken Dish”.

“There is also truly no seasoning in this main course, so readers with more developed palates will have to look elsewhere...”

One of my friends disgusted by the dish, a PhD student who would prefer to remain nameless,

recounted a time when she was served a pasta bake with a topping of crisps. “One of the worst meals she’d ever had”, she said. In what was likely an attempt to end the conversation she directed me to the Instagram page @dailyvintagefoods, where I spent some time.

Their “Tuna’n Waffles” is absolutely something I would eat and enjoy, and also involves a soup sauce. The combination of soup and mayonnaise in “Chicken Dish” strikes me as particularly 70s British, evocative as it is both coronation chicken and prawn cocktail. There is also truly no seasoning in this main course, so readers with more developed palates will have to look elsewhere.

Jack Monroe’s Tin Can Cook – a cookbook I coveted from the title alone – somewhat inevitably features a pasta dish with a mushroom soup base. It is delicious, and cheap to make, though I had to endure the judgement of my flatmates for eating something so undeniably grey. Jack Monroe’s ethos as a food writer is that of cooking on a budget, and one of

the strongest cases for soup-as-asauce is its cheapness. If I haven’t persuaded you to try this retro method of cooking yet, perhaps this can be an opportunity for gratitude towards the migrants of this country who brought flavour to the British mainstream in the decades since my grandparents’ dinner parties.

“It features one of my favourite cooking phenomena – tinned-soup-assauce...”

My Google searches for similar recipes to “Chicken Dish” have proved mysteriously fruitless. If a chicken-and-egg dish inspired Paul Simon to write Mother and Child Reunion, perhaps this processed version will catalyse similar creative breakthroughs. I have recorded the recipe for posterity below, should you wish to try this 70s classic for yourself!

Ingredients Campbell’s Cream of Chicken Condensed Soup (or similar tinned soup) Mayonnaise Cooked chicken Finely chopped red pepper Diced celery Cheddar Ready salted crisps Method If you’ve roasted the chicken prior you can use the remaining oven heat to cook the dish like a good housewife. Otherwise, preheat the oven to 200C (180C fan).

Make the sauce by mixing equal parts mayo and chicken soup in a bowl, adjusting the ratio to taste.

Stir in the vegetables, and pour the mixture over the chicken in a baking dish, ensuring the meat is covered. Top with alternating layers of crushed crisps and grated cheese before baking for 35 minutes.

Serve with boiled tatties – ideally of the Duke of York variety.

Enjoy in front of Strictly Come Dancing for that authentic winterweekend-at-home feeling.

Stocking your bookshelf this Christmas Cosy up with one of Reilly’s festive recommendations Reilly Dufresne WRITER

With his gravity-defying sleigh, eight flying reindeer, and the world’s most powerful passport, it looks as if St. Nick may be the

Credit: Hepzi Rattray

only one travelling this Christmas. Of course, for those of us stuck at home, the holidays are not necessarily ruined. Many bibliophiles and homebodies have long enjoyed the peace of solitude. How do I know? While I

aspire to achieve acceptance from the former, I most certainly belong to the latter. So, with these credentials – a love for stories and a greater love for silence – I propose two fantastic books and an essay that are worth reading over this quiet Christmas holiday.

My hope is that these suggestions might fill your stocking or even take you on an adventure. At the very least, I hope these titles might sit on your bookshelf and impress your friends.

As Christmas is often associated with the magic of childhood, my first seasonal suggestion is a children’s book: Nancy Smiler Levinson’s Snowshoe Thompson.

After a snowstorm obstructs almost all forms of travel, a little boy must find a way to send a Christmas letter to his father. The boy’s only hope lies with backcountry skier, Snowshoe Thompson. Will the letter ever arrive?

This heart-warming story is further enriched with Joan Sandin’s incredible illustrations. Sandin beautifully captures a winter

wonderland and a boy’s persistent hope. In a word, Snowshoe Thompson is a treat. Of course, most of us know the danger of overindulgence at Christmas. We need a sobering orange in our Christmas stocking too.

What we need is the peeled back truth of Caroline Criado Perez’s Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men. Perez’s book, filled with hair raising facts and figures, investigates the jarring matter of discrepancy and representation in our modern world. How is medication, carcrash testing, and even snow-removal biased? Perez explains in detail. Granted, this is perhaps not your average book for cosying up to the fire. But make no mistake, once you begin reading, it’s hard to stop.

Then there are those of us who like a surprise at Christmas – that little something you never expected. Mark Forsyth gives this unknown gift to us in his essay, The Unknown Unknown: Bookshops and the Delight of

Not Getting what You Wanted. A joy to read, this essay is perhaps best fitted for the practicalities of stocking-stuffing. About the size of a thoroughly squished sandwich, Forsyth’s essay is nevertheless jam-packed, full of humour and delight. His writing offers advice on how to secure fantastic reading material. Rules to go by: Forsyth makes a strong case for judging a book by its cover. He argues that there is great pleasure in bibliomancy (and there is!).

Lastly, Forsyth encourages readers to embrace the unexpected – be it in a book from a bathroom or a bookshop.

The books proposed in this article have been selected with care.

They have been chosen with the hope that reading them will adorn your Christmas with a little bit of magic, intrigue, and delight – depending on which you choose, of course. It goes without saying that this holiday season is not what most of us expected. So, perhaps the best way to close the book on 2020 would be to open one.

3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

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Culture

An album that soundtracks my life: The Fame Monster by Lady Gaga Hugo McGregor WRITER

Historians use the term B.C. (before Christ) to mark the period of time before the birth of Jesus Christ; a seismic moment in history. It follows, then, that if a historian were compiling a chronicle of my life, they would refer to my early years as B.G. (before Gaga).

“The Alejandro music video did for Catholicism what Rihanna did for umbrellas...”

Indeed, it would be modest to say Lady Gaga played a crucial role in shaping the man I am today. Her music took a lonely, theatrically repressed, closeted kid and transformed him into a confident, dramatic star (granted, my mum wasn’t too pleased that I was nine years old and singing about wanting to take a ride on a “disco stick”). I was a devout disciple of Gaga, even showing up to a school disco in a t-shirt with her face plastered across it - which, at the time, made me feel like something of an Instagram baddie. Since then, I’ve stuck by her through all her eras (#JusticeForARTPOP),

but one album in particular holds a special place in my heart: The Fame Monster.

A permanent resident of almost every gay man’s Spotify library, The Fame Monster really was that bitch. Gaga’s magnum opus is a small but flawless curation of eight songs, exploring themes of sex, fear, and the dark side of fame. It’s the album that proved Gaga wasn’t just the flavour of the month, and established her as one of pop’s modern innovators. I was already a Gaga fan after The Fame, but The Fame Monster cemented my transition into a full-blown Little Monster. Truth be told, my tiny queer heart belonged to Mother Monster (what the most dedicated stans call her) from the moment I pressed play and heard her chant, “Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!” I’m still not sure what it means but, damn, it makes me feel alive.

Everything about The Fame Monster era — from the album’s gothic, Hedi Slimane-shot cover, to Gaga’s infamous VMAs meat dress — was iconic. Its impact on the music industry cannot be understated. Track the resurgence of 80s synths and vocalisers in 21st century pop music, and it traces back to Gaga. Her boundary-breaking artistic choices and daring performances also set the bar for the level of individuality and creativity to be expected from

modern pop stars. During this era, Gaga served us three of the most iconic music videos of the century: Bad Romance, Telephone, and Alejandro. The accompanying video for each single was bolder than the last, and elevated the songs to high art. I even had a giant poster of the Telephone cover art above my bed, which made for an interesting discussion piece whenever I had male friends round for a sleepover. Plus, the Alejandro music video did for Catholicism what Rihanna did for umbrellas.

“A permanent resident of almost every gay man’s Spotify library, The Fame Monster really was that bitch...”

The term “filler track” clearly doesn’t exist in Gaga’s vocabulary, because every song on The Fame Monster could’ve been a single.

The crème de la crème, however, is Dance in the Dark: a five-minutelong belter about fear and fragility during intercourse. Let me be clear: if gay clubs were churches, this would be their hymn. What Dance in the Dark does so well

Credit: Interscope Records is balance Gaga’s tortured lyrics with a killer hook and beat, and the result is euphoric. During the bridge, she summons a legion of famous women who were chewed up and spat out by the media: Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland, Princess Diana... A haunting reminder of society’s tendency to idolise and exploit vulnerable women. My only beef with the song is it wasn’t made a single, but that’s an issue between her management and I. Most importantly, though, The Fame Monster provided me with a sense of belonging; or, rather, it helped me find comfort in not be-

longing. I’ve always been a bit of an outsider, never fitting the mould of a “typical” boy, and this was something I was deeply ashamed of as a child. However, discovering Gaga gave me a figure to look up to: she was authentic, unapologetic, and (best of all) weird. The Fame Monster was my safe space when I came home from a rough day at school, and subsequently soundtracked many a bedroom concert. I listen to it less nowadays, but when I do, I’m immediately transported back to that stage.

So, thank you, Gaga, and The Fame Monster, for changing my life.

Tracking venues: Christmas edition The GG have your Christmas fix sorted, as we share upcoming (virtual) theatre schedules Anton Ferrie THEATRE COLUMNIST

As a vaccine-coloured light appears at the end of a long, dark tunnel, Glasgow theatre continues to diversify.

Though occupying theatres en masse still seems a while away, audiences can get a fix of performance from two weegie powerhouses.

The Citizens Theatre has confirmed that a filmed version of Fibres, which received rave reviews when mounted at the end of last year, will be available

online from Wednesday 25 November 2020 at 7pm. Tickets are free, and the film will be available for one month, making this the perfect festive night in.

National Theatre of Scotland has gone above and beyond, with a slate of digital offerings that run the gamut of genre, and brim with homegrown talent, including Johnny McKnight, Jackie Kay, and Janey Godley.

It seems appropriate that artistic director Jackie Wylie, who cut her teeth leading The Arches, is steering the ship in these unprecedented times; her experi-

mental chops come to the fore as she serves audiences nothing less than an online festival of theatre over the holiday season, spreading joy from 13 December right through to New Year’s Day. Rapunzel: a Christmas show for online and cinema audiences from Scottish panto legend Johnny McKnight, filmed at Stirling Castle, in partnership with Historic Environment Scotland.

Selected cinemas, 22 December 2020. Available online 23 December 2020.

Makar to Cracker: the return of Jackie Kay’s soulful poetry

and music offering for the festive season. 17 December 2020 and 28 January 2021.

Alone III and IV: two brand new festive episodes of Alone, Janey Godley’s online viral drama about Betty and Bobo. Part III 26 December 2020, Part VI 31 December 2020.

A Queen’s Speech: a very special alternative online message on Christmas Day from Dame of the Realm, Paige Ootabook, aka Johnny McKnight. 25 December 2020, 3pm.

A chance to win your own fairy tale experience whilst helping to

raise money for the National Theatre of Scotland’s Future Fund.

In conjunction with the launch of Rapunzel, NTS are also offering audiences the chance to win your own fairytale experience inviting donations of £10 to be entered into a prize draw. All proceeds will go to NTS Future Fund, set up in the wake of Covid-19 to combat the devastation felt by the arts sector, and invest in new work and projects on the Scottish theatrical landscape.

Support the arts by having a very merry, jolly, and theatrical Christmas!

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3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

Culture

Best of both worlds: Miley, popstar or rockstar?

Lucy Fitzgerald FILM AND TV COLUMNIST

Miley Cyrus’ recent array of performances, including a body of Metallica covers and swift announcement of a forthcoming rock album entitled Plastic Hearts, left some excited and others sceptical at her alteration of style. I attest that this duality is not shocking or new. After all, she’s been living a double life since her teenage years…

As Disney demigoddess Hannah Montana, Cyrus achieved great triumphs: a five-year TV show run, a world tour and an eponymous feature-length movie. But with that success came the burden of being a role model to a young fan base and, consequently, having to abide by a litany of rules – not exactly a productive environment for a creative artist in her formative years. Considering the almost religious conformity demanded of child stars, it is totally understandable why they eventually rebel in order to pursue true artistic self-fulfilment (I, for one, will forever respect the Jo Bro’s iconic purity ring abandonment!).

Still, enduring the digging-in of Disney’s contractual death grips, Miley Cyrus released the album Breakout in 2008. While it was still distinctively child-friendly pop, it was not quite as bubblegum as her previous work. Breakout was the first album I ever bought (selected from ASDA’s glimmering CD wall, adjacent to some tempting Clubland Classics) and Cyrus’ penchant for covers dates back to that fateful year- I recall proudly asserting to my family that I KNEW who originally sang Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Miley explored Dance-pop with Can’t Be Tamed, in which she flirtCredit: Rosie Wilson

ed with sexperimentalism (coined

by Krissi Murison); from the midriff-baring album cover to simulating a lesbian kiss with a backup dancer on stage which, of course, resulted in a heteronormative media uproar. Then on the quest to be taken seriously as a musician, Cyrus certainly gave people something to talk about in 2013. The Bangerz era was provocative: 420 and fornication, dank doobies and bedazzled boobies. However, with an appropriated aesthetic, she profited from Black culture and preserved racist stereotypes. I’m aware Nobody’s Perfect but jfc Miley. The infamous 2013 VMA performance with Robin Thicke is a stinging moment in social history. Subsequently, the insulting myth was entertained that Cyrus herself created the very concept of twerking. Religious Studies scholar Elizabeth Perez stated: “Viewing twerk through a western lens renders twerk “ratchet” or “ghetto”, delegitimising. When contextualised as a Black Atlantic, twerk appears the descendant of sacred dances in the worship of Afro-diasporic deities in Brazil, Cuba and Haiti.” As a young white woman, Cyrus’ impudent execution of the move trivialised and vilified the dance’s cultural significance.

Hip-hop influences defined the 16-track album, and when speaking of Lil’ Kim, Miley said: “In a past life, I feel like that was me” ... I honestly do not know what to say to that.

Moreover, Miley has expansive lower, mid and upper-chest registers.

The heartbreak ballad Wrecking Ball showcased her impressive mezzo-soprano range.

The Wrecking Ball music video “broke the internet” (over 19m views 24 hours after its VEVO release) but, like much of the complex, mul-

ti-faceted art made by women, it was reduced to the visual. Her soulful tone was not the focus – instead, it was her skin. At the time, my school R.E. teacher recoiled, in horror and contempt, at my friend’s purchase of a Bangerz live concert ticket – “Nice girls like you don’t go to Miley Cyrus gigs!”. Of course, the demonisation of a sexually liberated artist has existed for decades. Depressingly, the vitriol lambasted at Miley occurred nearly a decade ago and, still today, when a female artist expresses sexuality on her own terms, the integrity of the art is totally berated (think Lockdown’s lifeline: WAP).

Cyrus’ 2012 Backyard sessions were favourably received; her raspy rendition of Jolene most prominently. Cyrus has long enjoyed the imprimatur of one Dolly Parton (the bluegrass babe played mentor/mate Aunt Dolly to Miley in Hannah Montana and fulfils the role of her Godmother in real life). Self-written and produced, Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz (2015) was Cyrus’ fifth studio instalment, which she released on SoundCloud to stream for free. It was psychedelic in nature - a little poppy, a little rocky and hugely inspired by The Flaming Lips.

Cyrus is acutely aware that, socio-politically, there hasn’t been a Party In The USA for some time and, in her 2019 EP She Is Coming, injected feminist punk ideology. She champions female empowerment, with the lead single Mother’s Daughter chanting “Don’t f*** with my freedom, I came up to get me some”.

In the music video, an intersectional representation of female bodies and striking slogans command us (my body, my rules; not an object; every woman is a riot; virginity is a social construct, etc.). This was fitting re-

actionary cultural output to counter the abortion ban passed in Alabama in May 2019. Cyrus’ musical and social position has been increasingly dynamic.

Miley’s rock vein has been pulsating for many years. Her Arctic Monkeys cover of Why’d you only ever call me when you’re high? in 2014 got Alex Turner’s nod of approval.

In 2016, she performed with punk rocker Billy Idol. Both were kitted out with black leather and bleached hair - Cyrus appeared like his junior, physical anima on stage. Visually, Miley has maintained an edgy aura since 2013, with the cover art of She Is Coming referencing the Sex Pistols 1977 album Never Mind The Bullocks.

Cranking the amplifier up a notch, in her 2019 Glastonbury set, Miley covered Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters, and her recent single Midnight Sky is enchanted with a Stevie Nicks incantation – a sample of Edge of Seventeen. Miley employs different colours of rock and adds her own shade to all of them. Cyrus’ Blondie Heart of Glass cover in early October this year went so viral that she was bombarded with requests to release the recording on all streaming platforms. She also looks the part; Cyrus is truly the image of Blondie with her business-in-the-front-party-in-theback blonde pixie mullet. Keeping us fed, Miley promptly released a version of The Cranberries’ anti-terrorism track Zombie. The Shannonsiders group hailed Miley’s cover as “one of the finest covers of the song that we’ve heard” and assured her that the late Dolores O’Riordan would have been suitably hypnotised.

In her 2020 documentary Miss Americana, Taylor Swift made clear how difficult it is for women not to get

cut by the industry’s double-edged sword; the expectation to progress in accordance with strict, conservative business ideals, rather than personal artistic growth. She stated: “The female artists that I know of, have reinvented themselves 20 times more than the male artists.”

Contrastingly, such limitations around versatility have simply never existed for White men. The Bee Gees were folk-rock before falsetto disco; Michael Bolton was a fist-pumper before ballad belter and Lonely Island collaborator; the Beastie Boys were punk before hip-hop and country legend Kenny Rogers was baptised in rock. With the exception of Wiley’s tangents, Ed Sheeran’s hopping on and off the Grime train went unquestioned, and, what’s more, it was rewarded with a UK chart No.1.

Cyrus’ house burnt down in the 2018 California wildfires, but what it stole in material possessions, it gifted in spiritual epiphany. Cyrus has claimed her new rock project is the product of two years of self-discovery and development. This is no abrupt, Pauline conversion; heavy metal Hannah has been maturing in smiley Miley for years, and in 2020 it is now fully formed.

I endorse Miley’s prospective rock era, and whether later phases give us Euro Dance, Drum and Bass, or any other 7 Things I say we embrace them. I approve of her continuous experimentation - I believe she can “chill it out, take it slow and then rock out the show” if she wants to.

Ultimately, to scrutinise the authenticity of every one of Cyrus’ sonic and stylistic choices is futile because she defines her own brand.

And, quite simply: She can’t stop.

And she won’t stop.

3 December 2020

THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

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Culture

Winter Warmers: Lentil dahl and oven-baked carrot falafels Sophie shares her go-to recipes to get you through this festive (exam) season Sophie Kelly WRITER

This time of year is defined by the descent of dark chilly mornings to early misty evenings. As I spend too much of my time twiddling my thumbs waiting for social approval to enter the festive season, indulging in cooking comforting hearty dahls are a means to deflect from premature excitement. Also, for those of you finding yourself in a tide of deadlines, these delightful dishes represent a fantastic distraction. Both cooking and eating this recipe gently ushers me to embrace this cosier time of year, slowly stirring simple ingredients full of flavour tends to put me right at ease.

This recipe relies on store cupboard ingredients and can be adapted by adding any leftover bits and bobs of veg you have around.

Dahl

Ingredients 250g red lentils 1 onion (red or white) Small piece of ginger 2 cloves of Garlic A few cherry tomatoes (optional but four or five work well) 700-800ml vegetable (or chicken) stock (two cubes should work fine) 1 tin of coconut milk 1 tin of tinned tomatoes Ground cumin Mustard seeds Ground turmeric Ground cinnamon Chilli powder Method 1) Dice the onion, garlic, and ginger (and tomatoes if using).

2) Heat a large frying pan or casserole dish to medium heat and

add the onions for about two minutes till they lose their rawness, then add garlic and all the spices.

3) Mix everything for a few minutes then add the ginger (and tomatoes if using).

4) Stir for a few minutes then add the tinned tomatoes and coconut milk, stir again and bring to a boil.

Turn the temperature down, add half of the stock, and leave to simmer.

5) Keep stirring until all the liquid is incorporated then add more stock bit by bit. This step requires a bit of patience and stirring, but leads to a nice creamy texture.

After about half an hour or so of stirring, the dahl should have thickened and ready to eat. Serve with coriander, a dollop of yoghurt, and rice or flatbreads.

Spiced carrot falafels These makeshift falafels are really useful to have in your fridge; I find adding them to wraps or even warm salads spruces things up and adds substance and flavour. However, they do make a satisfying snack on their own dunked in hummus.

Ingredients 1 tin of chickpeas 1 carrot chopped/diced 1 tablespoon of flour 2 cloves of Garlic Any of the above spices for dahl Method 1) Preheat your oven to 220C, and either oil a baking tray or line one with some baking parchment.

2) pop the carrot, chickpeas, garlic, and spices in a bowl and whizz them up to form a creamy paste

3) Add a tablespoon or two of flour, making it less sticky and easier to shape.

4) Have a little taste to see if the spices are to your liking, then shape with your hand into a little less than golf ball sized moulds and lay on the baking tray.

5) Slightly press them down to flatten so they look a bit like small patties and then pop in the oven.

6) Cook the falafels for about half an hour and turn them over halfway through so both sides get a little crispy.

Tips: If the mixture is having a hard time blending, add a little of the aquafaba (chickpea liquid) to help it get going. Gram flour works best if you have some - otherwise, pretty much any flour works fine here. You can also use dried chickpeas - in which case, soak 100g overnight and substitute.

Slow culture works at the Ubiquitous Chip Poetry installations: blending whisky with verse

Karolina Omenzetter WRITER

An exciting medium to present poetry and explore the passage of time has arrived at Ashton Lane’s Ubiquitous Chip, but just like the process of whisky making, it will take time for the full impact to be revealed.

Glengoyne Distillery has rebranded as a company with an “unhurried” attitude and has commissioned Jonathon Keats to make poetry installations at their distillery and various venues in Glasgow, London, New York, Melbourne, and Amsterdam. These poetry installations will slowly reveal their prose as UV light causes the ink obscuring the verse to fade over the next fifty years to reflect the time it takes for whiskey to develop its flavour.

Jonathon Keats has experimented with the passage of time in his installations before; we have 998 years left until his simple pinhole camera has finished documenting the effects of climate change in Lake Tahoe, Nevada.

His eccentricity is reflected in his expansive repertoire including

choreographing honeybee ballet and attempting to make God, for species classification purposes.

This is an exciting project at the Ubiquitous Chip where consumers can witness how whisky and poetry have harmonised wonderfully to represent the passage of time.

It is hoped that these installations will provide solace from the currently instantaneous nature of mass-produced art and to kindle a passion for the process.

The poets commissioned include two Scots; Cat Hepburn, who started the Sonnet Youth spoken word poetry night, and Jeda Pearl, whose poetry explores identity and intersectionality. Jeda Pearl explained that after receiving her brief, she drew inspiration for her poem “Mynd Oor Gloamin Corrieneuchin” from the “beautiful sense of timelessness and slow growth while walking in nature” and the deep conversations with friends that “could last all night”.

The poem was written in Scots so she enjoyed conveying her themes through “far fewer words than in English!” Courtney Peppernell from Australia, Alison Malee from

America, and Martin Reints from Holland will also have their work displayed in their home countries.

“It is hoped that these installations will kindle a passion for the process...”

Hopefully presenting poetry in these contexts will inspire more people to appreciate the art form, as Jeda Pearl suggests that due to the “unexpected place(s)” it may be found, “people who may not normally read or listen to poetry” will be able to enjoy it. Of course, these poems are exhibited in places that may be inaccessible to some people due to “location and presentation (audio is not provided at present)” as Jeda Pearl points out.

Financial accessibility is also a problem in literature, both from the perspective of a reader and as an author as the “vast majority of us cannot earn a living exclusive-

ly from our art, and we need to supplement our income”. She also adds that “as someone who is disabled, a person of colour, and from a working-class background, access is very important to me, especially where publicly-funded organisations and projects are concerned” and recommends various organisations such as the Scottish BAME Writers Network where she holds the role of Writer Development and Communications Manager.

The network is run by writers and works on advocacy, professional development and events. Other organisations worth noting are Open Book, Not Going Back to Normal and Scottish Book Trust.

If anything, this project has shown us another novel way to present poetry. Jeda Pearl notes that it can be found everywhere through “verse, novels, nursery rhymes, spoken word artists, Instagram poets.” Lockdown has driven the need for innovative modes of presenting literature with Book Week Scotland hosting a variety of online panels, events and even virtual tours. This is something Jeda Pearl has appreci-

ated “as someone who is disabled with an energy-limiting chronic illness”. When restrictions ease, we will have more venues for the public to enjoy poetry events at, such as local bookshops, libraries, various art venues “and Scotland has a rich tradition of open mic nights which are often free or donation-based”.

Let’s hope that as poetry becomes more commonplace, it is able to provide solace and promote the voices of all of those who want to leave a lasting impression on the poetry scene. Just as peat, water and climate influence the taste of a single malt, the surroundings of a poet can be distilled into lines on a page to be appreciated and provide comfort to multiple people over years to come.

Jeda Pearl is a disabled Scottish-Jamaican writer and poet.

Awarded Cove Park’s 2019 Emerging Writer Residency and shortlisted for the Bridge Awards, Jeda Pearl’s poems and stories are published by New Writing Scotland, Tapsalteerie and Shoreline of Infinity.

Instagram: @jedapearl Website: jedapearl.com

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THE GLASGOW GUARDIAN

Culture

What is the meaning of life?

Bea Crawford’s review of Tuck Everlasting tackles our existential anxiety

Exploring Glasgow’s green spaces Rebecca Richard WRITER

Credit: Emma Garcia Melchor - Illustrator Bea Crawford WRITER

What is the meaning of life? Humans have spent thousands of years attempting to ascertain any shred of significance to the lives we lead, some sense of purpose. Often it takes inspiration from others for us to find our own purpose, and this is where books come in handy.

I have often found myself dwelling on the concept of death, and whether its ever-looming inevitability renders life meaningless or if the acceptance of this inevitability aids us in our pursuit of purpose.

Enter: Natalie Babbitt’s Tuck Everlasting, a 1975 American children’s novel that attempts to provide an answer to the eternal question, “if you had the chance to live forever, would you take it?”.

While it may seem odd to say you’ve discovered the meaning of life in a children’s novel, Babbitt nevertheless manages to weave an evocative tale that stays with you (or, at least, me) even a decade after reading. Following 10-year-old Winnie Foster as she befriends the forest-dwelling Tuck family, the novel centres around the family’s big secret: almost a century ago, they each drank from a spring in the woods and haven’t aged a day since. The Tucks sustain that immortality is not the blessing it seems to be, and at the end of the novel, Winnie is confronted with the choice to drink the water and

join them or to pass on immortality and go on with her life.

Perhaps the most impactful scene takes place towards the end of the novel. Tuck, the patriarch of the titular family, takes Winnie Foster out on the river in a rowboat. Winnie — pondering the choice between immortality and the mundane, sheltered life she currently leads — seems dead set on selecting the former, as any naïve child would.

Tuck, a father figure in the novel for the protagonist, attempts to open her eyes to the downsides of eternal life by supplying her with his own life philosophy. Describing life as a wheel, of which death, like birth, is an essential part, he says: “you can’t pick out the pieces you like and leave the rest. Being part of the whole thing, that’s the blessing.” It’s the kind of line that has stuck with me since my first reading, through various existential crises: death is going to happen, regardless of your acceptance of it. It’s how we deal with this knowledge that affects our pursuit of purpose in life.

Because Tuck was right: you can’t have lived without dying. The meaning of life is not to live forever; it is to make the most of the short time we have. Always having death in the background of our minds can definitely make life frustrating, to the point where it may sometimes feel pointless to go on, but that knowledge also gives us a purpose. At the end of the day, you don’t have to live forever — you just have to live.

If Covid-19 has shown me anything this year, it’s my newfound adoration and deep appreciation of outdoor spaces - specifically those with an abundance of trees and the ambience of flowing water.

Between stressful uncertainties of online classes, deadlines, jobs, and various other commitments, moments of peace and clarity are very welcome and much needed.

Glasgow’s full of great spots for a refreshing stroll, and these are a few of the best outdoor spaces to breathe in the crisp, fresh air and soak up the deep oranges, reds and yellows of falling leaves this autumn.

“In current times of uncertainty and lack of control, one thing we can control is how we look after ourselves...”

Victoria Park, located between Broomhill and Scotstoun, is about a half-hour walk from Partick and is home to families of ducks and swans milling about the large boating pond. Generally more quiet than Kelvingrove Park, Victoria Park features a playpark, small tennis courts, a large expanse of

grass sporting various exercise sessions, and football training throughout the week, making for a lively amble. The remains of an ancient forest at the world-renowned Fossil Grove is situated at the very back of the park. This almost feels like you’ve been transported to a completely different place, with tall rocks towering over a thin path leading to a small pond in the centre with a wooden bridge across it. It is a calm among the chaos of university life. The dog content is also top-notch!

If you’re on the hunt for a more gothic vibe, Glasgow’s Necropolis is in the east end of the city. It’s the place to be for a view across the city, especially at sunset. The Victorian graveyard is situated upon a hill overlooking the greenery and architecture of Glasgow Cathedral, and the gravestone silhouettes create a dramatic setting. The Necropolis is like a maze of paths spread across the hill, following a mix of newer and older memorials of all styles right up to the summit.

It’s the perfect spot for a change of atmosphere, with some history mixed into a leisurely meander through the Victorian gravestones.

The Botanic Gardens on Great Western Road is a classic relaxation spot with a lovely combination of grass areas and woodland strolls. The indoor walk through the glass greenhouses and the smell of the soil are a source of instant zen. The little outdoor gardens have adjoining paths with

benches dotted here and there.

Whether it’s plants, trees, dogs or people-watching: the choice of view is yours.

The Botanic Gardens leads onto Kelvin Walkway, with a 10-mile route that follows the River Kelvin from Milngavie to Partick. For ease on the legs, the path can be joined from the top of the Gardens, leading out at Kelvingrove Park. Despite being in the middle of the city, Kelvin Walkway has an element of escapism and the flowing river alongside has a level of tranquillity I struggle to find anywhere other than from running water. For the anxious individual, the peace of mind found from the benches parked along the riverbank, facing out onto the water and deep green trees, cannot be beaten. The route also happens to pass by riverside pub Inn Deep, if you are looking for a pitstop pint to refresh yourself!

If the tranquillity of water floats your boat, the Glasgow canal route is for you. Beginning from the city centre and finishing at Clydebank, the winding path is a chance for your mind to shut off from various life pressures and enjoy the different colours and styles of the canal boats. Enjoy the serenity of a Sunday afternoon on your wander with the water always by your side. The canal route passes Murano Street accommodation, for any freshers looking for a moment of zen away from the rush of halls life or looming deadlines - an escape is literally on your doorstep.

“These are a few of the best outdoor spaces to breathe in the crisp, fresh air...”

Credit: Jenny Dimitriadi - Photographer

This autumn, treat your mind and body to a reset. In current times of uncertainty and lack of control, one thing we can control is how we look after ourselves. I fully encourage everyone to take a few hours away from screens and stresses and immerse yourself in the peace of refreshing autumnal walks.

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Culture

The GG team’s film and TV favourites of 2020 From horror to Holmes, the GG Editors have loved what this year has offered for the silver and the small screen warmth, certainly between lovers Marianne and Héloïse, but notably also between the couple and Sophie, their maid. This is a vision of matriarchy, of the tenderness of women, and is a beautiful subversion of the archetypal artist and muse relationship. Love, in this film, is found in the deep attention you pay to another person — memorising all the lines of their body, their favourite song, their smile.

The Last Dance Genevieve Brown CULTURE EDITOR

I am recommending a documentary about the Chicago Bulls from 1997 to 98 – this year is full of surprises! This series has everything: that title, The Last Dance, so poetic; the team names that are irregular plurals: Miami Heat, Orlando Magic, Utah Jazz; Michael Jordan’s beret; Scottie Pippen’s baritone; Dennis Rodman; Phil Jackson, the team’s gentle hippie coach; Michael Jordan, most famous player in the world, ordering a pizza late at night and getting food poisoning before a game; Dennis Rodman going to Michael Jordan’s hotel room to ask for a cigar, and both of them just knowing what he was really asking for was forgiveness. I loved it.

Awkwafina is Nora from Queens Jasmine Urquhart INVESTIGATIONS EDITOR

Rapper Awkwafina plays Nora, a 20-something loser who lives in her car in Queens, NYC. Nora’s life is such a chaotic mess that it made me feel better about being locked in the house. Every episode had me in hysterics, especially the one where she works an office job - so funny, five stars!

Portrait of a Lady on Fire Madeline Pritchard FILM AND TV EDITOR

Isolated but intimate, perhaps this is the perfect film for 2020 — the cast is tiny, the three central characters largely alone in their island home, but the film overflows with

and the changes in her career now that she’s 30. Before viewing this, I wasn’t a huge fan of Miss Swift, but that has genuinely changed.

Throughout the film, she showed that she is willing to stand up for what she believes in, whether that’s the rights of women or of LGBTQ+ people. It was clear that she isn’t just thinking about herself and her career, but is wanting to use her fame and fortune for good. Whether you’re a fan of her music or not, I would highly recommend watching this documentary, as it gives an insight into the music business, the power of fame, and shows that Taylor is not exactly as the media portrays her.

Miss Americana Michelle Osborne

Enola Holmes Ananya Venkatesan THEATRE EDITOR

In a year where the news has been terrifying, a global pandemic affecting all of our lives, and our minds flooded with more devastating information than we could possibly handle, any level of joy is welcomed with fervour. Enola Holmes, following Sherlock and Mycroft’s young sister in her journey to find her mother, is a funfilled and lighthearted movie to escape the horrors of reality. In all its joyous glory, the movie also talks about the women’s rights movements at the time and the patriarchal oppression that was, and is to this day, inherent in society. So, if you feel overwhelmed by the news and stressed by the general state of things, just hop on to Netflix to watch this!

SCIENCE AND TECH EDITOR

Debuting at the beginning of 2020, Miss Americana is a documentary following Taylor Swift

Credit l-r: ESPN, Pyramide Films, Comedy Central, Netflix, Netflix, CJ Entertainment, A24, StudioCanal

Parasite Sofia Stephens BOOKS EDITOR

The film that shook audiences worldwide and won prize after prize at this year’s Oscars, Parasite is a clever critique of social inequality. As it follows the life of a poor South Korean family, the dark comedy takes us through their quest to cunningly infiltrate the lives of a richer family in an attempt to rid themselves of financial insecurity. But even as their actions go according to plan, the family is drawn further apart by events characterised by horrific storytelling brilliance.

Parasite is a great example of what excellent cinema looks like, but one that I perhaps wouldn’t share with my grandmother.

to die, frankly none-the-wiser.

I was stunned. Sea urchins Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson contract a different kind of cabin fever in this black-and-white thrill-fest. Adopting period-accents (Dafoe described his as a “mix of West Country English and the Robert Newton kind of classic pirate’’), the script-writing masterfully takes on the poetics of the sea, devising the most evocative (and absurd) piece of the year. It is the ultimate isolation film to watch in self isolation. Think The Shining but jacked up on ocean brew and mermaid tears (What is Dafoe’s character chugging?

Whisky? Moonshine? Ethanol?

Who knows, but I’ll have what he’s having)

Saint Maud Laurie Clarke WELFARE OFFICER

The Lighthouse Chloe Waterhouse DEPUTY EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Shot in a small fishing community off Cape Forchu, Nova Scotia, Robert Eggers’ stomach-curdling head-fuck of a film left me like a deer trapped in headlights, then steamrolled into roadkill and left

Saint Maud is a unique and unforgettable entry into horror cinema and a welcome debut from female filmmaker Rose Glass.

Morfydd Clark is sweet and sinister in her first lead role and lends real sincerity to the titular Maud.

Clark’s on-screen chemistry with co-star Jennifer Ehle walks the tightrope between sensual and sadistic as Glass explores female relationships with unflinching honesty. Despite delving into themes of death, religious extremism and depression, the film never suffers from an overly cynical tone. Maud navigates the bleak landscape of Scarborough with an earnestness and vulnerability that keeps the audience guessing until the very end.

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Culture

Family Canon: Pretty Alternative Christmas flicks in Pink Not your typical Christmas movies Katherine Prentice WRITER

Credit: Rosie Wilson

Bea Crawford WRITER

“I just want to let them know that they didn’t break me,” says Molly Ringwald in one of the final scenes of the seminal 1986 film Pretty in Pink, standing in her living room in her homemade pink dress, preparing to go to prom, *gasp*, solo.

The moment is undeniably a classic scene, quoted time and time again over the past few decades, and its quiet power still startles me years after my first viewing.

If you scroll down far enough on my mother’s Facebook page (which I tend not to do too regularly, for my own sanity), you’ll see a post from 2015 that details our completion of the “hattrick” of ‘80s movies — The Breakfast Club, St Elmo’s Fire, and Pretty in Pink. Spending the ‘80s as teenagers running around Glasgow, my parents (who met in ‘85) retained a lot of their old favourites well into their adult life, and passed them down to me and my brothers: namely, their Bruce Springsteen obsession and their affinity for “Brat Pack” films. For those unfamiliar with the term, the “Brat Pack” were a group of young Hollywood actors who frequently worked together on coming-of-age movies in the mid-to-late-1980s; think any movie that starred Molly Ringwald or had John Hughes involved in some way. By the time I’d reached my pre-teen years I was well-versed in my Spring-

steen, so I guess it was only natural to introduce me to some of the most important classics of American film history.

While Pretty in Pink may not have been the only Hughes-esque film my parents and I bonded over in my early teen years, it’s definitely the one I have the fondest memories of today; it’s possibly the only popular Brat Pack film that I’d be able to watch nowadays without cringing. While its peers often carry sexist and/or racist undertones, making them near unbearable to watch in 2020, Pretty in Pink is a rather mellow high school “star-crossed lovers” deal with a killer soundtrack.

Girl-from-the-wrong-side-of-thetracks falls for the rich guy, none of their friends approve, they break up, they get back together, the end. My family have watched it together countless times — we can pretty much quote it back to front — and yet, we still love it. It’s the kind of movie that is a mainstay in our family’s discourse. As my high school prom was approaching earlier this year and I still hadn’t picked a dress, my dad joked about “pulling a Molly Ringwald” and making our own. The soundtrack — featuring The Psychedelic Furs, Otis Redding, and Echo & the Bunnymen — inevitably crops up in our playlists on car journeys.

Our frequent John Hughes rewatches definitely come from a place of nostalgia; it was maybe one of the first “adult” things we

got to watch as a family after years of Nickelodeon movies and Disney cartoons. There’s also some sense of my parents reliving their teenage years — though our West of Scotland town is miles away, physically and metaphorically, from Molly Ringwald’s Chicago suburb, there’s still the central idea of being young and in love in such a tumultuous time. And, importantly for me, it’s still a film I can go back to today and take something new away each time: the awkward early interactions of Andie and Blaine (the love interests) are painfully reminiscent of my own early forays into the dating world, which still would’ve been two or three years away when I first saw Pretty in Pink.

There’s something special about having these kinds of comfort movies; ones that remind you of a certain time in your life; that you’ve seen countless times and never tire of. They may not always be technical masterpieces or even especially decent films in any way, but it’s the memories and the feelings attached to them that make them special. And, even if 18-year-old me realises that I should have spent much less of my early adolescence romanticising the “nice guy” trope after falling in love with Jon Cryer’s Duckie, there’s still no better feeling than sitting down with my family and watching Molly Ringwald show up at prom in her homemade pink dress for the hundredth time.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably sat through Elf and Home Alone a few (or far) too many times, but you still want to get into the festive spirit. Or maybe you’re also not a big fan of most soppy, cliche Christmas films. But enjoyable, wintery films set at Christmas don’t need to have angels, matching jumper sets, and an unconvincing redemption arc. Here are my top picks for films to watch at this time of year, without having to sit through another painfully cheery festive flick.

Edward Scissorhands A personal favourite, and a classic. A heart-warming(ish) tale which isn’t nauseating, with lots of snow and ice sculptures, and a climactic scene set at Christmas to end on a happy, festive note. Still characteristically Tim Burton, and without Christmas spirit at its centre, it follows the gothic Edward as he tries to be accepted into suburbia after finally leaving his (super cool) spooky mansion. Edward isn’t changed into some merry elf, the snow provides a lovely backdrop rather than some motivator for the locals to magically become good people, and it’s an all-round great film. As a bonus, it’s free to watch on Disney+.

The Shining Ah, yes, nothing says Christmas like cabin fever gone wrong.

Still, the bloody hallways provide a nice warm tint, and the winter jumpers and snowy exterior set the festive mood well enough and, for some reason, the famous hotel carpet is very cosy to me.

Not to mention, snow saves the day here! A classic, supernatural tale tackling addiction, this one is a great watch any time of year - but if you want alternative Christmas viewing, Kubrick has you covered. The Shining is also on Prime for a little while, so no excuse not to.

Trading Places Absolutely hilarious. And if you wanted to see a drunk Santa fight or mess of a company Christmas party to cheer you, then this is for

you. A brilliant comedy and an exceptional cast, but with a pretty dark plot against the festive elements and jokes. Not a traditional Christmas film, but perfect to watch for a good laugh during the cold, dark nights ahead.

Batman Returns Burton makes it back on the list - though this time, instead of a Christmas in suburbia, we get a refreshing Christmas in Gotham.

Some absolutely gorgeous Christmas trees/weapons, and while the penguin fits the theme here, he also isn’t overcome by the power of Christmas to save the day - and certainly not by the power of family. A somewhat satirical take on a Christmas film (after all, “mistletoe is poisonous if you eat it”) but a wonderful, unique movie - and who doesn’t like some pretty lights in everyone’s favourite comic book city?

Gremlins The whole premise of the film involves Christmas and a cute, fuzzy mogwai. A fun little monster attack set against a snowy backdrop with intermittent fairy lights, what’s not to love? I personally love to watch this in winter; it’s not too dark or horrifying, and instead is nostalgic and entertaining. Really, the gremlins are a group of merry, carolling anti-elves, so perfect for a different kind of Christmas film.

In Bruges This film is brilliant, and set in the wintery, picturesque town of Bruges, so it could definitely be enjoyed this festive season. The troubling and gory content don’t make this a traditional choice, but the film is also absolutely hilarious, and if you haven’t seen it yet you definitely should make the time. At times it looks like a Christmas card, but it contains absolutely none of the soppy, nauseating themes you may expect. In Bruges follow a disgraced hitman and his friend, waiting out the decision on what should happen after a hit gone wrong.

A heavy theme, but it’s woven throughout with dark jokes, once again perfectly accompanied by twinkling Christmas trees.

3 December 2020

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Culture

Seraphine: pop star or sales strategist?

Ben Findlay WRITER

In late 2018, the team at Riot Games released one of their most popular pieces of content to date in the form of the girl group K/DA. Made up of four champions from the game League of Legends (LoL), K/DA (Kills, Deaths, Assists – for those unfamiliar with the games scoring system) burst free from the game and into real life with their hit single “POP/STARS”. Hitting number one in the US Digital Song Chart, the song was performed live by recording artists Madison Beer, Jaira Burns and K-pop group (G)I-DLE members Miyeon and Soyeon at the 2018 League of Legends World Championships.

K/DA has been silent ever since… until now.

In a game now boasting a roster of over 150 playable “champions”, LoL has used a huge variety of promotional campaigns and techniques when it comes to announcing new characters. We have discovered hints about new characters through in-game clues, to seeing figures from the expansive lore be developed and worked into fully playable champions. What’s different about League’s latest champion, however, is the way in which they have been promoted as a living, breathing person.

Introducing new champion and K/DA prodigy - Seraphine: The Starry-Eyed Songstress.

In what can be considered one of the most thought out release campaigns to date, Seraphine’s story didn’t start with clues in the game, or even on any platform related to League of Legends - it started on her own social media. Seraphine’s Instagram had humble beginnings when it was created earlier in June this year. Uploading a “selfie” and beginning to brand herself as an indie singer, the pink-haired girl and her cat Bao could easily slide under the radar of any LoL player.

As posts continued to be uploaded on her Instagram her “unapologetically girly” personality and follower count flourished.

One of the main talking points about this approach is a concern that the portrayal of Seraphine as a “living, breathing, person” could be damaging in terms of encourag-

If you do one thing this month...

The latest instalment of recommendations has a festive twist to tackle those Tier 4 blues

Books The University of Glasgow is running several Creative Conversations events from late November through to December, with writers from across the globe presenting via zoom.

Writer, broadcaster playwright and host of the Literary Salon Damian Barr speaks on 7 December 2020 from 1-2pm.

Award-winning Indigenous Canadian writer Eden Robinson speaks on 10 December 2020 from 5-6pm.

ing session with your flatmates.

The easiest of all DIY decorations, paper-snowflake-making provides a calming reminder of simpler times, and is a great way to bring festivity to a flat! All that is required to make a paper snowflake is white paper and a pair of scissors: 1) Fold A4 paper into a right-angled triangle and trim off the excess.

2) Fold this square in half to make a triangle.

3) Fold this triangle in half.

4) Overlap the right-hand pointed corner over the triangle, and trim off the resultant pointing ends.

5) Now you can vary your cutouts and unfold to see a snowflake!

Illustrations of these steps can be found in the online version of this article.

Theatre The National Theatre of Scotland is presenting a selection of Christmas-themed online theatrical productions titled FESTIVE 2020. Performances include original content from comedy legend Janey Godley; an updated pantomime of Rapunzel; and Scottish poetry live streams. Audience members also have the chance to win their own live fairytale experience, with a visit from the cast of Rapunzel, if they donate £10 to the National Theatre of Scotland’s Future Fund.

FESTIVE 2020 runs from 13 December to 1 January.

Music If you’re ready to fully embrace Christmas tunes, you could do a lot worse than Dolly Parton’s new album A Holly Dolly Christmas.

While the production can tend towards schmaltz, Dolly and Michael Buble’s ode-to-consent duet Cuddle Up, Cozy Down Christmas gets the tone exactly right. Alternatively, a less-intense Christmas song is Holiday by Lil Nas X - he of Old Town Road fame. One for more low-key Christmas fans perhaps.

A Holly Dolly Christmas and Holiday are available on Spotify, Apple Music and at HMV.

Film & TV Glasgow Film at Home is a new streaming service created by Glasgow Film Festival. Its programme comprises four popular titles from the 2020 festival, with a 3-day rental of Aracht costing £7.50.

Our Film Editor particularly recommends Twentieth Century, a stylised faux-biopic on Canada’s tenth prime minister.

Glasgow Film at Home launches 23 November 2020.

Food & Drink One advantage our Culture Editor, Genevieve, has found of online university, is the extra time it gives her to cook baked potatoes for the 90 minutes that they deserve. The smell of a potato cooking is a better Scent to De-Stress than the essential oil of the same name that she just bought. For the vegetarians, she recommends a topping of cheese and Marmite, but classic beans are also always a safe bet.

Potatoes are available at all good supermarkets.

December is a month of both festivities and stress for university students. Our culture editors recommend some cultural engagement to complement your studies or provide a much-needed break from them.

Credit: Katrina Williams - Deputy Culture and Gaming Editor ing players to spend money due to a sense of relatability. Whilst this can be thought of as a valid concern on the surface level, it is important to remember that the only things requiring payment in the game are cosmetics. Players will always be able to acquire and play as Seraphine for free. Whilst it is both true, and controversial, that Seraphine is set to release with one of the most expensive skins to date, I believe that it reflects the amount of work that has been put into the champion’s release over the last few months – from every individually drawn post, to covers of songs, to the comic books detailing backstory and her feature on the recently released K/DA EP. There is also a concern that this portrayal of a fictional character as having a real-life on social media can be quite creepy, confusing or uncomfortable. But to that, I question how this is any different from what organisations have been doing for years.

Think about Mickey Mouse, Hello Kitty or, possibly more related to Seraphine than we’d think, Hatsune Miku. All of these characters are built up to have a personality, a life, a social presence and friendships.

My main concern with Seraphine doesn’t lie in her aesthetics or her personality. I don’t believe that Riot aimed to make this a relatable character to try and exploit money from players. I believe it was a genuine project (with an undeniable amount of effort behind it) to try and create a

character that represented an audience outside of the typical straight, cis male player base both within the game and associated with the video game industry in general. As previously stated, it is possible to obtain and play as characters for free in League of Legends: the only thing that requires payments is if the player chooses to spend money on cosmetics.

And this is where my concern lies. That this character that we have seen grow and develop over the last months isn’t actually who Seraphine is. It’s who the “K/DA Seraphine” is, her “real-world persona” as her Champion Insight page puts it.

The Seraphine in the game’s fictional world Runeterra, or who she actually is without this cosmetic purchase, has a mere 700-word biography on her character page that mentions nothing of girl bands, selfies, bubble tea or cats. Whilst what we do know of the real Seraphine is interesting, it is nothing in comparison to the huge storytelling project showing her discovery as a singer and integration into the K/DA universe on her social media.

Ahri, Evelynn, Akali, Kai’sa – the founding members of K/DA. We think of them as League of Legends champions, with K/DA cosmetics. Yet, I can’t help but feel like Seraphine is a K/DA champion, locked behind one of the most expensive paywalls in the game, with a League of Legends based model as an afterthought.

Art Embrace your inner Buddy the Elf with a paper-snowflake craft-

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Science & Tech Santa’s destroying the environment It looks like Santa is giving us climate change for Christmas this year Michelle Osborne SCIENCE AND TECH EDITOR

The idea of f lying around the world in one night sounds so fun, right? Imagine this: you’re on a magical sleigh, being pulled by a group of reindeer that worship you, and you’re bringing joy and happiness to millions, with the bonus of seeing your elf pals at the end of the night! That’s supposedly Santa’s reality every year, but most adults do not believe this to be true. It’s unlikely that Santa will be able to go into all those houses this year due to Covid anyway…

But what if it was true, and what would be the environmental impacts of his sleigh? Surely a trip to each child in the world in a f lying sleigh would have some environmental impacts!

Assuming that Santa’s sleigh is fuelled in the same way that our planes are, Christmas Eve would be a very damaging day to the environment. Burning fuels for planes account for 2.5% of global carbon emissions, and this could rise to 22% by 2050 - his sleigh could be the reason for this increase! The f light from Lapland to Cape Town, for example, emits 12 tonnes of carbon dioxide, so imagine the emissions if he stopped everywhere in between.

This also ignores the wastage caused by f lying short distances. We can easily assume that Santa does not hop from Los Angeles to Moscow to Nairobi, and then all the way back to San Francisco. Using the NORAD Santa tracker (which is a very scientific piece of equipment!) we can safely assume Santa visits houses nearby to each other.

This suggests very short f light times. When planes have to land early or do emergency landings, they must release the fuel stored up to safely land but must have sufficient fuel levels for taking off. Unless Santa’s fuel tank is ridiculously small, he must be wasting copious amounts of fuel

for these short journeys.

I think that Santa deserves a lump of coal for all these bad environmental actions!

“If Santa wanted to be carbon neutral, he should even get rid of the whole “coalfor-naughtychildren” thing - it isn’t really sustainable...”

But wait! We have ignored all the reindeer - maybe they help!

Despite all the reindeer that I’ve seen never have wings or any ability to f ly, we have always been told that they power the sleigh. Unfortunately, without a tall cliff, some weird f loating device, or excessive power, I don’t think that the reindeer will help Santa’s case. In fact, the reindeer just made it worse - it has been proven that Santa’s team of reindeer would emit 40,600 tonnes of methane gas on his trip around the world. I don’t think Santa’s magic could even stop the farts of methane gas after all the carrots they’d be fed.

Don’t worry, though! Santa might not be giving us climate change for Christmas. There are some more eco-friendly ideas for his sleigh. A great upcoming invention is planes which are fuelled by renewable energy. The most common idea is solar-paneled planes, which especially make sense due to a plane’s proximity to the sun. This wouldn’t be so perfect for Santa as he is known for f lying around in the darkness, but these new planes also store energy for nighttime trips. Not only can Santa be a bit more carbon-neutral using this version of a sleigh, but it means that those dreaded overnight

Credit: Jenny Dimitriadi - Photographer f lights will continue when f lying becomes more eco-friendly.

“It has been proven that Santa’s team of reindeer would emit 40,600 tonnes of methane gas on his trip around the world...”

However, all of this is assuming that Santa works just like a human, when we all know he is truly magical. We can’t just limit him to our mere human abilities.

There are all sorts of magical suggestions for how Santa f lies his sleigh. It may run on the hopes and dreams of children I imagine this to be very similar to that wagon in Inside Out. There is also the darker idea of it running on the tears of the naughty children. However, if it was to be magical, there could be any suggestion. Unfortunately, we cannot explain magic.

My favourite idea for a carbon-neutral Santa’s sleigh is one which is half magical, but half-filled with amazing technology. I’d love for a sleigh that is decked out with the most upto-date solar technology which powers the engine. Whilst it f lies, there should be some turbines for a potential back-up on power. The presents would be

stored in a compartment underneath where he sits and I might even give him a mini-fridge for all the food he collects. Unfortunately, I’d probably opt to get rid of the reindeer, but he could have a little dog for company if he needs it.

If Santa wanted to be carbon neutral, he should even get rid of the whole “coal-for-naughtychildren” thing… it isn’t really sustainable.

Luckily (or unluckily) for us, it’s unlikely that Santa is going to visit us through our chimneys this winter, so we don’t have to worry too much about his carbon footprint. And if you’re wondering, he won’t be visiting due to Covid restrictions… he is most definitely real and would be coming any other year!

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Science & Tech

Edible bags saving Japan’s deer

Credit: Jenny Dimitriadi - Photographer Katrina Williams DEPUTY CULTURE EDITOR & VIDEO GAMES EDITOR

Deer in Japan are held to high regard. Shinto beliefs suggest that they are messengers of the gods, and due to their religious status there are multiple areas in Japan where they are free to roam. You can find them on the grounds of

some shrines, and in the city of Nara, the first-ever capital of the country.

Though its days of serving as capital are long past, Nara’s streets are still flush with subjects; not just people, but deer, too. Over 1,000 wild sika deer live in the city, localised to Nara Park, and visitors are encouraged to feed them by use of crackers made of rice bran and

grain. They’re polite – to a point – but tourists should expect to have a few deer head-butts headed their way if they’ve got any snacks left in their bags. Despite their occasional bad behaviour, they are considered national natural treasures.

However, there is an issue that disrupts the perfect harmony between human and deer. In 2019, between March and June, nine

deer died after ingesting plastic bags. It’s thought that they had most likely eaten leftover rubbish from tourists including both wrappers and bags made of plastic, and other inedible materials.

Unable to eat with the plastic blocking their stomachs, the deer most likely died of malnutrition.

Nara has now introduced edible bags, specially designed so that if they are mistakenly ingested by the deer it won’t do any damage to their stomachs or put their lives in any risk. They’re made from the pulp of rice bran and milk cartons, meaning that if any tourists continue to leave their rubbish behind – which they are sure to do – the deer won’t be placed into any possible harm.

The creator of the bags is an entrepreneur named Hidetoshi Matsukawa, employed by local souvenir wholesale agent Nara-ism.

He collaborated with local design firms and paper manufacturers to create the product, and alike to the crackers commonly fed to the deer (known as shika senbei, literally translating to deer crackers) gave the material that makes up the bags the nickname “shikagami” (deer paper). They’re being sold to multiple businesses in the city in

order to run tests, and as more get involved with the project the prices of the bags will further fall when purchased wholesale. Not only will the edible bags hopefully help the deer, but they will also serve as a good usage for leftover rice bran waste from rice polishing.

Edible bags don’t solve everything for Nara’s deer, however.

With the Covid-19 pandemic understandably cutting down the number of tourists visiting the city, deer who are usually fed by visitors have to scavenge further to find food, putting them in danger of finding rubbish further outside their usual roaming grounds of the park and its surrounding streets. Then comes the risk of cars and other vehicles hitting them if they venture onto the roads around Nara.

But it’s a start – and when Covid-19 settles around the world, hopefully, visitors to the parks will bring the deer back their favourite snacks so that they no longer need to go scavenging. Did you know that the deer themselves have learned how to bow to visitors offering them crackers?

Once this is all over, maybe it’ll be time to book a trip to the park and meet some of the famous animals yourself.

Time to call Father Christmas!

With the madness of Covid and 2020, Santa’s grotto is going online Claire Thomson SPORTS REPORTER

2020 has seen many dreams smashed into tiny pieces, but many companies throughout the UK are working hard behind the scenes to ensure that children still have the chance to believe in the magic of Christmas. This year, Santa is taking to Zoom, Facebook, and other video communication platforms to virtually meet thousands of both naughty and nice kids to collect their Christmas lists and wish them the happiest of holidays.

Careers in the arts sector have been slowly dwindling with many professional actors becoming unemployed and as a result desperate for work. Actor James Bartlett saw a gap in the market when he lost work during the pandemic, consequently setting up a site called Santascallingyou.co.uk.

According to Bartlett, almost 400

aspiring Santa Clauses and elves applied for acting roles with more Santas still required. The website sells Zoom calls with Santa, Mrs Claus and elves all from the comfort of your home. The ten-minute calls start at £24.99, depending on the time of day. Bookings began to rise following the news of the second English lockdown with James Bartlett adding: “People aren’t optimistic about the restrictions ending on 2 December, so this is a guaranteed personalised experience for your children.”

Parents can adapt these online experiences to their child, by giving personal details to Santa in advance, such as pet names, favourite colours, and whether a present will be revealed during the call.

Another children’s events company, Wonder Adventures, similarly were aware of the risk of a second lockdown when planning live Christmas events. This

year, the company is hosting a virtual Santa experience through Facebook, rather than at its normal physical venue. The children will have the opportunity to interact with Santa on the video chat or an elf-themed treasure hunt.

Whilst these virtual experiences are cheaper, beginning at £12.99, the calls will take place via private Facebook groups and can involve other families you may not know.

“This year, Santa is taking to Zoom, Facebook, and other video communication platforms...”

Having said that, Helen Nurse, the organiser of Wonder Adven-

tures, states: “It will be safe and personalised – you don’t have to queue, you can dress up…There’s always been a pressure on parents at Christmas but it’s even bigger this year.”

Some of the best and most famous grottos, including Harrods and Fortnum and Mason in London and the Thursford Christmas Spectacular in Norfolk, have announced that there are no plans for Santa to arrive on his sleigh this year. However, Chill Factore in Manchester and the toy shop The Entertainer, among others, have also arranged their take on a virtual Santa meet and greet.

Travel restrictions on foreign travel are further adding to the disappointment of Christmas celebrations, but tour operator, Santa’s Lapland, who usually organise trips to Finland, where families can meet Santa in real life and enjoy a holiday in the snow, have

made plans to bring the magic home. This year, it is arranging 10-minute video calls to Lapland, where families are shown around Santa’s grotto and snowy cabin and can even be introduced to the reindeer. These prices start at a whopping £85. Chief executive Paul Carter commented: “While no Christmas can compare to the sheer excitement of travelling to Lapland…with the help of a little ‘tech’, we intend to ensure it’s still a Christmas to remember.”

Whilst in many cases Santa has followed the government guidelines to work from home wherever possible this festive season, some English venues are holding out for a Christmas miracle. LaplandUK, which usually welcomes more than 20,000 families to its interactive attractions in Ascot, Berkshire, has spent around £4.5m on making the location Covid-friendly, and currently has no virtual plans.

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Sport Yes Sir, we can boogie Will Baccara’s 1977 hit be chosen as Scotland’s anthem for the delayed Euro 2020 tournament?

Max Kelly FOOD AND DRINK EDITOR

In case you somehow missed it, Scotland are going to the Euros.

Yes, that’s right; Scotland men’s football team are going to a major international tournament.

The last time this happened, I was three months old and was regrettably more entranced by the Teletubbies’ latest escapade than John Collins equalizing against Brazil.

It should be noted that Scotland’s women’s team had fantastic back-to-back qualification campaigns for the 2017 Women’s Euro and 2019 World Cup, and this should not be overlooked, but this article is focusing on the men’s side.

Steve Clarke’s men secured qualification to the delayed 2020 European Championships with a nail-biting penalty shootout in Belgrade earlier this month as the heroic David Marshall saved Serbia’s last penalty. This qualification represents, for an entire generation of the Tartan Army, a totally new experience of seeing their nation at a major tournament, as well as reminding all the older generations what this feels like - a feeling they may have imagined they would never see again.

“There was a night of unbridled joy and relief in houses from Orkney to Lockerbie and Pitlochry to Paisley...”

The unlikely heroes in Belgrade have a perhaps more unlikely anthem. Spanish duo Baccara’s 1977 hit Yes Sir, I Can Boogie is the song chosen by the squad, and adopted by the Tar-

Credit: Wikipedia tan Army, as Scotland’s new anthem. As soon as David Marshall denied Aleksandar Mitrović from taking the penalties to sudden death, you could almost hear the collective noise of the Spotify play button being pressed on the 1977 hit, with households all over the country blasting the disco tune.

You may be asking why a catchy flamenco-style 1970s hit is the anthem representing Scotland’s breaking of their international hoodoo, and that would be an entirely fair question. The unorthodox choice comes with an unorthodox backstory. The song stems from Aberdeen’s Andy Considine and his 2015 stag-do. The imposing defender gained his first Scotland call-up aged 33, something he will never forget - however, one thing he might want to forget is a video that surfaced from his stagdo five years ago. In the video, Considine struts around singing Baccara’s 1977 hit while dressed in a blue mini skirt, a bra, stilettos and stockings, rounding off the outfit with lipstick as red as his Aberdeen jersey. The video was uploaded to YouTube in June and obviously became a favour-

ite in the Scotland camp. From there on, the song would forever be linked to Considine and the Scotland squad.

There have been calls - correctly, in my opinion - for the 70s classic to be the official anthem of Scotland at the finals.

The song is infectious, easy to learn and difficult not to dance to. It also represents a moment where, in this rather bleak and difficult year, there was a night of unbridled joy and relief in houses from Orkney to Lockerbie and Pitlochry to Paisley.

The song also directly relates to a player in the squad and allows for a unique connection between the team and the fans. I mean, does it not just make you so happy to imagine (Covid-dependent, of course) thousands of Scots from all walks of life, dancing and belting out a 70s classic in Trafalgar Square and Hampden Park? Maria Mendiola, one-half of the iconic Spanish duo, said that she was delighted by the re-emergence of the song and that she has spoken to Andy Considine about it. Most importantly, Mendiola revealed that Baccara would re-record a new version of the song. Personally, I

think that the duo should record the song with members of the current squad joining in. Who doesn’t want to see Andy Robertson and John McGinn belting out a disco classic?

“A song doesn’t have to be Scottish to be our anthem...”

However, despite the enthusiasm for the song to be the official anthem of Scotland’s Euro campaign, there have been some calling for a more “Scottish” anthem, performed by a Scottish artist. In some ways, I do understand this point of view; there is something uniquely Scottish about previous tournament anthems. Ally’s Tartan Army, performed by Andy Cameron for the 1978 World Cup, is one of my favourite songs of all time. The song reflects on Scotland’s squad, the years preceding their qualification, and even has a dig at England - and in truth, this approach is perhaps more fitting. However, in my opinion, a song doesn’t have to be Scottish to be our anthem.

The European Championship sees countries from all over the continent come together to fight for footballing supremacy, but it’s so much more than that. The tournament sees fans from all across Europe come together to embrace and celebrate their own and each other’s cultures. So why can’t we have a song that’s from Spain - especially when it’s now so intertwined with our national team?

I was lucky enough to travel around France with my friends for the previous European Championship in 2016, attending five games and visiting several cities.

On this journey, I met Russians, Swiss, Welsh, and Irish fans to name but a few, and we spoke about our teams while exchanging drinks and songs. Furthermore, I remember meeting many Northern Irish fans on my travels and all of them would, without fail, belt out two songs: the first, Sweet Caroline by American singer Neil Diamond, and the second, a rendition of Freed From Desire by Brooklyn-based Italian artist Gala (with “Will Grigg’s on Fire” replacing the titular lines in the chorus.) Neither of these songs were written in Ulster, but yet they became anthems of the Green and White Army.

Another problem with this demand for a “Scottish” anthem is that it ignores the brilliant covers of the Yes Sir, I Can Boogie by Scottish artists on social media. There doesn’t have to be one definitive version of the song that we listen to and sing along with - so we should just celebrate the fact that this tune, regardless of what form it comes in, is the song that represents the end of 22 years of hurt.

For me, it’s a no-brainer: Baccara’s 70s hit should be the anthem for Scotland’s Euro journey. It’s catchy, fun - and if it’s good enough for Andy Considine, it’s good enough for me.

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Sport

Roundup: Intramural League GUSA publicity convenor Anna gives The GG the lowdown on an eventful week in the Intramural League Jamie Byrne SPORTS EDITOR

The much anticipated Intramural League, continued in its quest to save first-semester University sport at Glasgow, with drama seen on the volleyball and tennis courts in the starting stages of the tournament. This week introduced the beloved game of rounders - reminding those competing that the best compliment one can receive is when an opposition player shouts that their team must move back as you prepare to strike the ball.

That’s when you know you’ve really made it. Members of Pentland and Grampian houses give an overview of a busy week of sport.

Laura and Adam - Pentland House Me and Adam are so excited that the Intramural league has officially started! Pentland House have been amazing during all their matches. It has been a very busy week for Pentland with volleyball and tennis continuing this week as well as the beginning of rounders.

The last three weeks of tennis have been great, the teamwork has been so lovely with everyone motivating everyone at every match. Our players have ranged from newbies to the next Andy Murray! Pentland players have absolutely smashed their matches (pardon the pun) with straight wins in singles and

Credit: Anna Woodcock 2/3 wins in doubles. Our star player has been Haroun Asher who has subbed in for a player last minute and went on to win in straight sets!

Adam and I want to say a massive well done to all our amazing tennis players in Pentland.

In volleyball, Pentland built on week one successes with five out of six wins, with Pentland 1, Pentland 3, and Pentland 4 all still undefeated after playing two or three games each. Our first-timers Holly Ellis and Cayden Parekh must get a special mention for their successes in their first time playing, as well as to all of those who are still beginners.

We (Laura and Adam) also want to celebrate Clemens with some massive blocking (make sure you follow @GUPentland on Instagram to see some of these big blocks) on Monday. But our Pentland (Volley) Baller of the week goes to Samuel Horsch who substituted in for Pentland 2 as well as helping lead his team, Pentland 4, to two out of two wins.

On Tuesday, Pentland made their Rounders debut with the narrowest of defeats for Pentland 1 to Grampian 1. Despite two hours of play, a Grampian 1 team comprised of the GU Volleyball committee, the GU Athletics captain, and other

competitive athletes, the Pentland team stayed in the game to lose by only one run at the end. Friday saw an immaculacy dressed Pentland 2 team make their debut against Grampian 2. The team including most of the GUSA Council showed their fashion skills as well as their sports skills to beat the Grampian 2 team. Laura and I must nominate George Fournarakis as our Pentland’s Rounders Player of the Week for all his work in getting the Intramural Leagues off the ground and leading Pentland 2 to a first Rounders win. For this reason, we will also give GUSA president and

proud Pentland’s Member Shereif Kholeif a special mention for similar reasons.

David and Eirini - Grampian House This week Grampian competed in volleyball and rounders. Grampian won four out of the eight volleyball games that we were competing in, and one out of the two rounder games. The teams became super creative this week, representing the Grampian colour orange, wearing orange headbands and bracelets, with Anthony from G1 going to the extent of wearing a Sainsbury’s bag as a Grampian t-shirt. Some of the highlights of the past week would be Grampian captain David face-planting on the group at least twice a minute during volleyball, even when the ball was not remotely close to him.

Vice-captain Eirini managed to catch the ball one out of the hundred times that it was thrown at her during rounders - it’s the participation that counts.

Special congratulations to our Grampians of the week Jack and Leon who played in all their volleyball and rounders games as well as subbed in for the rounders game against the GUSA council. Also, congratulations to Jack Wilson on winning a free Paesano’s paid for

by Grampian! We’re very excited for the tennis singles and the next volleyball games this week.

Double gold on the track for UofG cyclist Claire Thomson SPORTS REPORTER

University of Glasgow student Neah Evans recently took two golds, including one in the individual pursuit, at the 2020 Union Européenne de Cyclisme (UEC) European Track Championships in Plovdiv, Bulgaria. Taking place between 11 and 15 November, the championships are the first major event of the 2020/21 track season, with the rescheduled Olympics, in Summer 2021, quickly approaching. All European champions are awarded the UEC European Champion jersey, which can be worn by the winner throughout the season when com-

peting in the same events at other competitions.

Night two of the competition saw the GB women’s team, including Neah Evans and fellow Scot, Katie Archibald, comfortably win the gold medal by over three seconds in the team pursuit in a time of 4:10.437, beating Italy, who came second at 4:13.632, and Ukraine claimed bronze in 4:33.833. Team member and multiple Olympic gold-medallist, Laura Kenny commented very positively on the performance of the team: “That’s the fastest time we’ve done since Rio, so that shows the form that we were in going into an Olympic year. It’s good to know we are still moving forward.”

Adding to her team pursuit victory on the second night, Neah Evans went on to win her second gold of the championships in the individual pursuit on night three, having qualified with the fastest time in the heats during the day.

She posted a time of 3:29.456 to beat Italy’s Martina Alzini by two seconds. Evans said after she won her second gold medal: “When it sinks in, it’ll feel very special – I’m delighted!”. She added: “It’s been a busy week; it’s been a bit bizarre as effectively we’ve had a summer of no racing and then to come to the European track champs where it’s just been nonstop. It’s been great to get back racing, and to get some really

good results is just amazing.”

Having finished just outside of the medals in fourth place in the women’s scratch race on night one of the competition, the University of Glasgow student was overjoyed by her performance later in the championships.

Another gold medal went the way of a Scottish cyclist, this time it was won by Katie Archibald, a former Glasgow Academy pupil. After being part of the team pursuit winning team, Archibald competed in the points race, winning the first two sprints, and then the fifth, to give her a commanding lead at the halfway stage. Archibald then attacked with 30 laps remaining, along

with Maria Martins of Portugal, Poland’s Karoline Karasiewicz and the Italian Silvia Zanardi.

Zanardi was less than 10 points behind her going into the final sprint, which was won by the Scot, confirming her European points race title.

The Great Britain Cycling Team finished top of the medals table with six golds, three silvers and two bronze medals. Gold medals came from the women’s individual pursuit, team pursuit and points race, and then the men’s omnium and the elimination race. With the Olympics approaching, the GB team is hopeful for a strong performance by cyclists on the track.

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Sport

Glasgow University Muay Thai club shortlisted for BUCS award

Isla McClung and Shereif Kholeif speak to The Glasgow Guardian about the nomination Craig Smith SPORTS EDITOR

At a time when university sports clubs are suffering like never before, the Glasgow University Muay Thai (GUMT) club has managed to adapt and overcome what the Covid-19 pandemic has thrown at them, from creating online workouts throughout lockdown to producing interesting non-contact sessions which have allowed them to continue with training.

“When McClung describes how people approach her to say that Muay Thai training is the highlight of their week, you feel that this is the true essence of university sport...”

This strong work throughout the pandemic has been a continuation of the club’s great efforts in recent years, which as a result, has seen it become one of the University’s biggest sports clubs. It was this dedication which encouraged Glasgow University Sports Association (GUSA) president Shereif Kholeif, himself a former captain of GUMT, to put GUMT forward for the British Universities and Colleges Sports (BUCS) Club of the Year award. Isla McClung, the current captain of GUMT, was sceptical about their chances given Muay Thai is not an established part of BUCS, something Kholeif hopes could change in future if a BUCS league were to be introduced for Muay Thai, but is now grateful she worked alongside Kholeif and other former captains to produce a strong application. The application resulted in the club being shortlisted for the award, only two other clubs (University of Edinburgh’s Hare and Hound club and University of Nottingham’s Tennis club) from the UK made this exclusive short-

list. GUMT’s shortlisting is a great achievement for both the club, who won GUSA’s club of the year award in 2018-19, and Glasgow University Sports Association, which GUMT is a member of, considering Kholeif, who is in his seventh year at the University, cannot remember any previous Glasgow club being shortlisted for this prestigious award.

McClung has managed to keep the club in a strong place throughout the pandemic. This was perhaps made easier by the fact she has desired the role of captain since early on in her university studies: “I think I knew from first-year that I wanted to be captain of this club one day, and it has been on my radar for a while”. However, her introduction to the captaincy this summer was not as she had anticipated, since lockdown heavily restricted what the club could do. It would have been easy to accept the lockdown months as a write-off; this was not the approach of GUMT. Lockdown only seemed to increase the dedication of McClung and her committee as the team produced workouts, at one point up to five a week, and wellbeing talks which kept their own members engaged, whilst also drawing outsiders to their workouts. Kholeif describes seeing “people that weren’t even involved

in university sport or members of other clubs getting involved in Muay Thai workouts”. To be able to galvanise others, at a time when it is an achievement to engage their own members, is no mean feat and was just one of the reasons why the club was shortlisted.

“They aren’t merely a club, they are a community where people can lean on each other...”

McClung acknowledges there is a great team behind her: “Every single member of our committee has contributed massively over the past few months...it’s not even been me telling everyone what to do. People have been coming to me and suggesting we could be doing a bit more in this area.” The hard work goes beyond just the committee though, as McClung also reserves special praise for their coaches, Tommy Young and Martin McCann, who she considers a “huge asset”. Isla credits the coaches, who part-own Everyday Athlete gym near Cowcaddens, with being creative in

Credit: Glasgow University Muay Thai Facebook

keeping the workouts interesting, even at a time where no contact is allowed. McClung describes how “a lot of traditional contact sports are not able to put on training at the moment. But we’ve been able to deliver non-contact sport and fitness, safely and outdoors, which is really down to the coaches.”

McClung is a humble captain, eager to credit others before herself, but she is undoubtedly a key cog in the GUMT wheel. Few groups in society have escaped the wrath of the pandemic, but GUMT membership still stands at a very healthy 150 people, and McClung deserves to be credited for ensuring the club gained some new members. McClung, a fourth-year psychology student, put her dissertation research, which is about first-year students’ sense of belonging through sport, to use to find ways of engaging people to come to the sport at this time.

Her strategy obviously worked as the club had to put on extra taster sessions due to high demand.

GUMT’s strong work seems relentless and goes beyond engaging people to participate in Muay Thai.

Currently, many members, including McClung, are participating in the GUSAxSRC Sustainability Challenge where GUMT members made a variety of pledges to help

positively impact sustainability, from going vegan to avoiding takeaway coffee cups for a month. McClung, who has chosen to give up fast fashion, believes the challenge has been great as it has “encouraged people to think outside of the box when it comes to sustainability”. Doing their bit for such an important cause is demonstrative of how GUMT use their club for good, and, with positive actions like this, it seems almost certain the club will continue to go from strength to strength.

“It seems almost certain the club will continue to go from strength to strength...”

GUMT will discover on 8 December whether they have won, but whatever happens, it is a phenomenal achievement from the club which seems to typify the best of what university sport can be. Elite-level competition has its place, but when McClung describes how people approach her to say that Muay Thai training is the highlight of their week, you feel that this is the true essence of university sport. Coach Tommy Young, who has been involved with the club for 17 years, sums it up well when he speaks about how Muay Thai can benefit mental health, particularly at a time where Covid-19 restrictions can put a strain on this. Young said: “I have seen how important the club has been to its members in helping them battle with constant restrictions or the changing face of university life. Learning focus and discipline at the same time as having a place to be with others in a safe, outdoor, sheltered area has really kept up the student’s morale and enabled them to hit their studies knowing they have a place to relieve some tension.”

They aren’t merely a club, they are a community where people can lean on each other, a place where people feel free to express themselves, a comfort blanket through the stresses of university. They are Glasgow University Muay Thai club.