An Example Imagine you are drafting an introduction to your budget book. Your goal is to explain to the reader some of the high-level goals of the organization. You want them to understand the principals that lead to designing the budget council adopted. Here is the first paragraph you initially write: “The City’s annual budget is created to reflect the Mayor’s priorities and address community needs each year. The budget process takes place over a five-month period, during which agencies propose new or expanded programs and investments to better serve the public and meet the goals set out by the City. The Budget & Management Office staff assess proposals for their merits across a collection of considerations, with the first among them being the Mayor’s Strategic Framework. This framework, shown in the graphic below, illustrates Mayor Smyth’s dynamic priorities as it relates to creating a world class city where everyone has access to a home, a job, and a content future. The following pages outline key strategies and investments for priority areas and the metrics used to calibrate success.” 18 | GFOABC.CA
The score of this text:
The score of the revised text:
• 128 words
• 75 words (decreased 53 words)
• Average word length is 5.2 characters
• Average word length of 5.6 characters (increased slightly)
• 5 sentences
• 7 sentences (increased by 2)
• Average sentence length is 25.6 words
• Average sentence length is 10.7 words (decreased by approximately 15)
• Reading time: 30 seconds • Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 14 (college level)
• Reading time: 18 seconds (decreased by 12 seconds) • Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 9
This scoring may not immediately cause you concern. If you consider the average level of education in your community, however, you will see the problem. First, only 61.8% of Canadians aged 25 to 34 had either college or university qualifications. Secondly, most people prefer to read a few levels below their absolute maximum comprehension level.
This second version of the text reduced reading time by 40% and made the content understandable to more of our potential audience. Evaluate the readability of your text and make it as easily comprehensible as possible. Improving readability is one essential and easy step to improving your communication. •
A second draft of the paragraph revised to improve readability: “The City’s annual budget reflects the Mayor’s priorities and addresses community needs. First, agencies propose new/expanded programs. Budget & Management Office staff then assess these proposals for their merits. This process takes five months. The graphic below illustrates Mayor Smyth’s priorities to create a world-class city where everyone has access to a home, a job, and a future. The following pages outline strategies for priority areas. They also provide the measures used to determine success.”
JAMIE BLACK is President of F.H. Black & Company Incorporated. For the last 20 years, he has consulted and trained finance officers, auditors & accountants in government, higher education, and corporations throughout Canada and the U.S. His work focuses on increasing finance department efficiency & effectiveness through the implementation of technology & best practices
