Making
Strong
Bonds
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By: Desiree Bamba | Public Affairs Office Georgia Department of Defense
s much as separation, work, finances, attitudes and emotional needs can take their toll on a relationship – civilian or military – they can be especially hard on those who serve, be they active duty, Guard or Reserve. One of the programs available to help service members and their families, and those who are single as well, deal with the stresses that can often complicate their lives and their relationships is Strong Bonds. Strong Bonds is a chaplain-led program for commanders, Soldiers, and their families at the unit level, which helps build relationship resiliency. The Strong Bonds mission, according to the Georgia Army Guard Chaplaincy, is to increase Soldier and family readiness through relationship education and skills training. “It starts with knowing yourself and this weekend I saw my true self instead of how I thought I was,” said a spouse attending the course. The program first started in Savannah as a pre-deployment event in 2005. In 2008, the program began conducting reintegration, single and relationship events. During these events, attendees voluntarily participate in a Strong Bonds offsite retreat designed to maximize relationship training impact. Here, participants take part in classes, such as “How not to marry a jerk,” where they are taught how to have lasting healthy relationships and conflict resolution. Strong Bonds began in 1999 with four events and 90 couples in Hawaii. Since then, it has spread throughout the Army’s active and reserve components. In 2004, the U.S. Code was amended to allow command funding for “chaplain-led programs to assist members in the armed forces…in building and maintaining a strong family structure.” The program uses certain tools to help the attendees along the way such as the Relationship Attachment Model (RAM) Board. This board is designed to help one recognize where they are in a relationship and how it grows. The RAM takes participants through
the areas of “know, trust, rely, commit and touch.” It stresses the importance of making sure to grow fully in each area before moving on to the next level. “The use of the RAM model is key to any successful relationship, because many times, couples make unknown commitments to one another before they really get to know each other,” said Capt. Andy Shepherd, The Georgia Army Guard’s Strong Bonds Program coordinator. “As you grow in one, you build into the next one, one should not exceed the other.” After the event, participants are provided further reading and reference material when needed. RAM also provides them the tools to be able to appraise their current relationship so that they can ensure each is balancing his, or her, time and communication and truly learn about their partner, Shepard added. This program plays an important part in the Army. Healthy relationships contribute to the maintenance of a healthy Army and a secure future force. With increasing demands placed on Soldiers and families, to include both frequent deployments and duty relocations, relationships are fully tested. Building Army Family resiliency is a part of a strategic approach to cope with the high operational demand placed on today’s Army. Though the program started off as a pre-deployment event, Strong Bonds is not just wrapped around deployments, but is offered to any Soldier that is interested in attending. Enlisted and Officers are all encouraged to attend the conferences, because the event is centered on relationships and not rank. Since its start in Georgia in 2005, the Strong Bonds program has helped over 10,000 Soldiers, Shepard said. Quite an impressive number, and that number continues to grow, he added. “Strong Bonds doesn’t just give you the skills and tools to build healthy, strong and lasting relationships. It teaches you conflict resolution and resiliency, things that you need in any personal or work relationship,” Shepard said. “By helping our Soldiers and families better understand how to deal with the stresses that can touch any relationship, we strengthen our organization through the people – those who serve, and those who support them.”
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