singled Out

by Bola Olawale B r e a k i n g N o r m the After a meeting with a group of singles a few years back, a pretty sister approached me. She was tall and looked confident. As she began to speak, I could tell she had a lot on her mind. Her words were however, ‘um and ah’, and it took some words of encouragement to make her relax.

“Is there truly something like a marriage made in heaven? She asked.

She was troubled over the fact that some of the couples she knew and greatly admired were having problems with their marriage. She felt confused about the chance she stood in building a good marriage relationship as a Christian.

She spoke further about courting a 31-years-old brother, who was 4 years younger than her.

She said she believed God led him to her, but she was yet to tell her parents about the relationship because of the age difference. Her Pastor had also not been informed.

According to her, the man was a good Christian and treated her well. He was ready to marry her as soon as she gave the word, but she was haunted by the age gap and wondered what people may say if they know? Was it of God? I could see the tears in her eyes and understood her dilemma.

Does age really matter? When we look through scriptures, Abraham and Sarah were the only couples that had their age spelt out but only in relation to child bearing. It is therefore, irrelevant whether the man or woman is older. The important question is, is it God’s will for you? Many times we end up missing God’s will for our lives and become unhappy, simply because we worry about what men would say.

None of those people will live with you when you get married.

The issue of submission also came up. How do you submit to a man who is younger? It is not about the age, nor whether your husband is old, educated, rich or talented; your submission should be based on your understanding of the position he occupies as head of the family. Submission to your husband is an indication of what you make of God’s instructions.

I know women who married men that are younger than they are and indeed have enjoyed excellent relationship.

Some women also worry about looking older than the man as time rolls by. I don’t know how God does it, but the men I know always look older than their wives, although I believe it also requires the woman’s effort in keeping herself neat and trendy.

One is not advocating that you marry a teenager or someone old enough to be your child as a recent case in America involving a school teacher who married her son’s friend. Ensure he is matured enough to take on responsibilities and loves the Lord.

Pray, pray, pray and get confirmation before you take a leap. Seek godly counsel and ensure that you are able to decipher between what the Lord wants for you and what you want for yourself.

My lady took a cue from what I said and later told her Pastor and folks about the Youngman. They are now married with 2 children and she says things could not have been better.

...your submission should be based on your understanding of the position he occupies as head of the family. Submission to your husband is an indication of what you make of God’s instructions.

WISDOM QUOTE

Life is in stages If you believe you haven’t moved far Trace your steps; you are certainly not where you were before.