GANGSTA INC.
gangsta inc.
FADE IN: INT. KEVIN’S ROOM, DAY Kevin’s mother LIEN walks into his room and opens the curtains, letting the sunshine in and blinding KEVIN. She pulls back his covers, revealing a 14-year-old Korean boy who with a round face and frail body looks weak and underdeveloped. Kevin grunts and moans and pulls his blanket over his face. His mother pulls the blanket off him and rushes him into the bathroom. Kevin gets ready and walks out the front door. There is a sign for a drycleaners in the background. INT. JOSE’S ROOM, DAY Jose’s mother ROSARIO crosses herself before entering his room. She begins to carefully clean his room. JOSE wakes up. Rosario then leaves the room after crossing herself again. Jose gets up and does the same, showing a larger-than-average frame and sinewy arms and chest. He leaves his room. Behind him is a truck with the sign ’Hernandez Family Landscaping’ on it. INT. EZRA’S ROOM, DAY Ezra’s mother ELEANOR knocks on his door lightly to wake him up. He doesn’t respond but the knocks quickly become loud enough that he eventually gets up. EZRA breathes out heavily with an annoyed look on his face. He begins to pose in front of the mirror, showing a pale and plump body with many freckles. He looks across the street and sighs when he sees his father entering the jewelry store named Liebowitz Bros. Fine Jewelry. INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY, DAY As Kevin, Jose and Ezra walk into the school, they recognize friends from the their middle school, acquaintances and worst of all, bullies, namely JONATHAN. JONATHAN Hey look who it is! The triotypes! EZRA Oh my god... is that the best he has?
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2. KEVIN And it starts way too early in the day and the year. JOSE Let’s just get to Orientation.
Jonathan stands in front of the boys, blocking their way, and puffs his chest out to make himself look bigger than he is. JONATHAN Let me guess, Jose is working the park, Kevin has to deliver some rice and Ezra is looking for pennies! The boys try to ignore the laughter coming down the hall and head over to Orientation. As they walk away each one is ridiculed by Jonathan. He pulls Kevin’s bag off and kicks it down the hall. Ezra tries to pick Kevin’s bag up but Jonathan shoves them into the lockers. JONATHAN What do you think you’re doing? I never said you can touch this. You are not allowed to. When I’m speaking to you three, you will shut up and listen because in one second I can snatch the life out of you. KEVIN (stuttering) O-ok I’m sorry. JOSE Hey can we just stop? I’m sorry, we won’t interfere again. Jonathan looks over to Ezra. JONATHAN See that? That is respect. Learn. Jonathan spits on Ezra and walks away. The boys, looking dejected, slowly pick up their things and walk to their respective classrooms.
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3. EXT. BUS STOP IN FRONT OF SCHOOL, DAY EZRA Man I’m tired of this, I’m sick of Jonathan treating us like shit. We need to man up man. JOSE Yeah we need to become men. EZRA Technically I am a man. KEVIN Well maybe not men, cause you’re the only one with the Bar Mitzvah. I only get called a man when I’m a doctor. JOSE Yeah I’m a man when I can buy my own lawnmower. EZRA Still, not the point! We need something new, we need a new look... something that will define the three of us. OH CRAP!
KEVIN
Jose and Ezra, startled, look at Kevin, who has a bewildered look on his face. What? What?
JOSE EZRA
KEVIN The dry cleaning for Mr. Chung! JOSE RUN! RUN! RUN LIKE YOU DELIVERING CHINESE FOOD! Jose and Ezra laugh as Kevin runs towards his parents’ shop.
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4. MONTAGE, NIGHT A) INT. JOSE’S ROOM, NIGHT - Jose sulks in his bed, gradually falling asleep. B) INT. KEVIN’S ROOM, NIGHT - Kevin flops down in his bed and sulks. C) INT. EZRA’S ROOM, NIGHT - Ezra is sulking in bed. Then he picks up his mobile phone. He begins looking up gangster culture on the internet. END OF MONTAGE EXT. FILM SET, DAY A DIRECTOR is setting up a scene for a shoot and getting everyone in place. DIRECTOR Alright I need the extras ready in the background. Where is the extra getting shot? DWAYNE looks up quickly and gets the attention of the director. DWAYNE Right here! DIRECTOR Right okay, I want you to come from behind saying "What you doing here" and Bang! you get shot okay and then... As the director continues to explain the scene, Dwayne’s mind begins to wander. The director tries to get Dwayne’s attention again. DIRECTOR DWAYNE! GET READY! DWAYNE Oh okay I’ll head right over. DIRECTOR Okay Dwayne I want you to stand there and wait on my signal to move. Camera One ready, rolling, action! (CONTINUED)
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Dwayne moves forward, says his line and is shot, all in one take. DIRECTOR Alright! Cut! That was good! Dwayne has not moved from his spot. As a method actor, he feels that if he was killed he would be dead for the whole scene - that would make it "realistic". DIRECTOR Dwayne! Get up man I need the next set of extras ready to go. Dwayne stays unmoving. DIRECTOR What is this kid doing? Seriously somebody get him off the scene! The director gets Security to move Dwayne off the set. However when they leave him on the side he still stays unmoving. DIRECTOR Alright this is getting ridiculous! Dwayne if you don’t get up and off the lot you’re fired! Dwayne remains unmoving. DIRECTOR Alright that’s it, you’re fired! Goodbye! Suddenly Dwayne wakes up and pleads with the director not to fire him. DWAYNE But I thought you wanted a good actor for the scene. DIRECTOR Yeah, good acting, not being a dead person the rest of the day! And you only woke up when you got fired so do me a favor and get out of here! Dwayne, dejected, grabs his bag and is escorted off the studio lot. He then heads over to a nearby Starbucks to go and sulk with the rest of the out-of-work actors and wannabe writers.
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6. EXT. BUS STOP, DAY The next day Jose and Kevin meet up at the bus stop. Ezra runs excitedly towards them. EZRA (panting) Guys... you... won’t... believe! KEVIN Dude grab your breath first and then talk man. JOSE What’s so important man? EZRA I had an epiphany last night man! JOSE About what? How to deal with Jonathan? EZRA About how to deal with Jonathan. Ezra begins to explain by showing what he had found on the internet via his phone. KEVIN So you want us to walk in looking like that? JOSE I don’t think I want to look like that... EZRA Trust me it’ll be cool man, they’ll accept us and not fuck with us. I have the perfect one for us man, it’s got the swag and the danger element all in one baby. Kevin and Jose both look at Ezra and go from groaning to laughing. EZRA No seriously this is a good idea! KEVIN How could you possibly think that this is a good idea? (CONTINUED)
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7. JOSE First of all how are we(points to all of them) Going to pull off gangsta shit? EZRA Okay before we get into that let’s take a look at your ideas first.
Ezra takes out his notebook and scribbles on a Pros and Cons chart, writing down a plan for them to change. EXT. BUS STOP, DAY The next day Kevin arrives a block from school and waits for the rest of the group to show up. Jose walks down to the bus stop wearing an oversized T-shirt. JOSE What, you didn’t dress up? KEVIN No man I don’t have baggy anything. My mom would kill me before I could look like that, she said I would look like an anorexic Buddha. JOSE Damn, your mom got jokes. Finally we limp as he sports cap low-riding
see Ezra walking down the road with a bit of a attempts the "hip hop" walk. He is wearing a backwards and big sunglasses with a chain and trousers. EZRA Yo son, was good wit it? Y’all bitches be looking like foo’s mayn! KEVIN Jah bless yah too man! JOSE You would never understand us!
So the boys begin walking towards their school. EZRA Aight, aight yo who go in first yo?
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8. KEVIN Okay I think we can talk normally until we enter school. Word.
EZRA
JOSE So who goes in first? KEVIN The only way to decide... how men for centuries have dealt with life-altering decisions. Kevin pauses and looks at them intensely. KEVIN Rock, paper, scissors. Jose and Ezra look at him in disbelief. EZRA Oh come on! This is the best solution you can come up with? I mean come up with a mathematical way to do it at least... JOSE Well okay I mean it’s better than flipping a coin I guess. KEVIN It’s all I got right now so just do it man, we got no time. The three boys play and the order goes that Jose, Kevin and finally Ezra will walk into school to gauge the reactions to their outfits. JOSE Alright let’s do it! EZRA Wait, wait Kevin come here! Wear this bling and this big ass shirt and walk in and I guarantee you are going to shock people man! KEVIN How did you get this expensive jewelry? (CONTINUED) gangsta inc.
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9. EZRA Well let’s just say that it’s on loan from the store? KEVIN Huh? What store? Wait there is a store that rents for free? JOSE No you idiot it’s his dad’s store. Now can we go in now please?
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY, DAY Jose walks into the school. As the door closes behind him screams of laughter are heard in the hallways. EXT. SCHOOL ENTRANCE, DAY KEVIN Okay so that’s a no, but I think I have a more authentic look, so wish me luck man! As Kevin walks into the school an even louder eruption of laughter is heard through the doors. Ezra gets cold feet and runs off. INT. EZRA’S HOUSE, DAY School has ended and Jose and Kevin meet Ezra at his house. JOSE Hey man how come you didn’t come into school today? EZRA Right... okay based on the reactions I saw I think it’s time we get some professional help. JOSE What do you mean? EZRA I mean we need someone to teach us the ways of gangstahood and I know exactly how to find them!
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10. KEVIN I’m thinking Harlem but I’ll just get mistaken for Chinese delivery... EZRA No I was thinking moreKEVIN Unless I go undercover and offer Chinese food for lessons... JOSE Okay will you stop with the Chinese delivery... EZRA Yeah well I figure the best place to find a gangsta mentor would be a post on Craigslist! JOSE What?! Really? Craigslist? EZRA Yeah, that way we can look at the responses and choose the best from the group. JOSE Yeah or end up with a freak who likes dress-up sex. EZRA It’ll be fine ya big baby. JOSE What are we offering for payment? EZRA Look I got my Bar Mitzvah money and who can put a price on redemption? So I’m offering $200 for 10 lessons and $500 after completion. KEVIN Alright let’s write it up.
The boys proceed to write up an ad on Craigslist and begin planning where and how to meet the applicants.
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11. EZRA Right, so where we going to meet? Starbucks.
JOSE
KEVIN Starbucks?! EZRA Starbucks?! Why not? Well beca-
JOSE EZRA
JOSE It’s quiet, it’s nice, close to home and we can get a nice latte man. KEVIN I’m in. And we don’t have to be gangster before lessons. EZRA It’s ’gangsta’ and we gotta fake it til we make it son! JOSE You’ve just been watching too much worldstarhiphop and 50 Cent music videos haven’t you? EZRA Oh and Jigga, or to you who don’t know, that is Jay Z. The boys sort through the list and get a list of the best potential candidates. INT. DWAYNE’S HOUSE, DAY Dwayne is sitting in his apartment and looking on Craigslist for work. He gets up to grab a beer, showing him to be in good shape and tall, standing at an intimidating 6 foot 5.
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Dwayne stumbles across the ad for "Gangsta Mentor Wanted must have experience slinging yay on the corner, doin’ a bid in jail, part of the thug life or all of the above, maximum 4 days of work. Will pay for services. Please show up at Starbucks on Northern Blvd at 4pm for the interview." DWAYNE Oh this is perfect, with this type of experience Dwayne stands up with aristocratic flair. DWAYNE Juilliard will have to admit me! Dwayne proceeds to decipher the meaning of the ad and begins doing "research" by watching all of the classic "gangsta" films such as Boyz N the Hood, Menace II Society, Baby Boy, Fresh, New Jack City and South Central. INT. STARBUCKS, DAY The boys are sitting in Starbucks and begin interviewing each candidate. KEVIN Hello, my name is Kevin. We’re going to ask you a couple of questions. Mr. OG Money? OG MONEY Yeh was good lil mang? KEVIN So what makes you qualified to mentor us? OG MONEY Yo I’ve been in Brooklyn my whole life son, I know what it be to be a G ya heard? JOSE Your qualifications? OG MONEY Quali wha? Nah man I ain’t got that but I do have scars to prove my battles.
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13. EZRA That is definitely a plus for us so we’ll be in touch Mr. OG Money.
The boys go through each candidate, some dressed flamboyantly like Flavor Flav, the intimidating ones, the silent but scary ones, the loud ones. However, they can’t find the correct mentor for them until finally meeting Dwayne. KEVIN Hey you seem to be the last one who answered our ad. So what’s your name? DWAYNE My momma calls me Dwayne but you can call me D-Wayne. JOSE Isn’t it the same thing? Dwayne looks intensely at Jose. DWAYNE NO! See I’m going to give you your first lesson of the streets. Your name isn’t yo name. EZRA Oh I get it! You mean like how Jay Z was known as Shawn Carter. DWAYNE Yeah you got it lil man you get a fist bump! KEVIN Can I get one too? DWAYNE NO! That is for certified lil mentee. The boys huddle together and talk about D-Wayne. EZRA I like him, feels like so seasoned and cool, I have a feeling he has taught before.
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14. JOSE I don’t know man. KEVIN Yeah OG Money looks like the most gangsta, this guy has no scars! EZRA Man I got scars from rollerblading, that means he was too careless and got hit. If one is clean from wounds that means he’s the boss. JOSE Ooo good reasoning.
The boys turn around to face Dwayne again. KEVIN So do you have any scars? Dwayne looks at them with bewilderment. DWAYNE Scars?! You asking about scars? The only one I got is from the streets, the scar of the white man’s oppression in my soul! No I me-
JOSE
DWAYNE I know what you mean and NO I do not cause I’m nice with the hands, nah mean? EZRA Like New Jack City? Dwayne stands up abruptly. DWAYNE Hey I don’t want you to ever watch those movies again, they movies man! They not authentic! You only listen to me and only me. The boys murmur amongst themselves. EZRA You’re hired! (CONTINUED) gangsta inc.
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15. DWAYNE Iight Iight word, so I’ll meet y’all here at Starbucks and we do lessons around this honky neighborhood.
Dwayne quickly snatches Ezra’s wallet and takes out a $5 bill. DWAYNE Lesson 1: Don’t be nobody’s Bitch. Dwayne proceeds to walk away as the boys look after him in awe. INT. DWAYNE’S CAR, DAY Dwayne is sitting in his car and dictating notes into his dictaphone. DWAYNE Note to self: Get all the lessons we can from the movies and BET and use them as my own to hone skills. Also never get the Venti Frap, way too many calories. Dwayne then drives off while blasting music from the band Nickelback. EXT. PARKING LOT ALLEY, DAY The following Saturday the boys meet Dwayne at Starbucks again and begin their lessons in an alley behind a parking lot. DWAYNE Alright Lesson 1: Walk with swagger. KEVIN Didn’t we do Lesson 1 last week? DWAYNE Okay that was a mini lesson and you lose a 40 oz. Huh?
KEVIN
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16. DWAYNE Okay I’m going to have to explain everything.
Dwayne takes out a bottle from a brown paper bag. DWAYNE Now lil man this is a 40 oz and this is going to represent yo points in a lesson, get 4 you move on to the next lesson we have. Dwayne points at Kevin. DWAYNE You already behind lil man. So now Lesson 1: Walk the walk. You need to learn how to walk the gangsta walk. Dwayne shows the boys how to walk with a gangsta lean but overexaggerates and begins to look like he has a prosthetic leg. EZRA This feels good man I can feel the swagger flow through me. JOSE I feel like I’m wearing a prosthetic leg. DWAYNE Umm damn okay aight that’s good. Now what I want you to do is have yo stank face. Dwayne then shows his stank face, which is him scowling with his right nostril raised, right eyebrow down and curled lips. KEVIN Okay that definitely looks like my grandma after her stroke... JOSE Looks like a better idea to go train at a hospital man. Jose and Kevin start laughing.
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17. DWAYNE Okay okay lil man not bad, that is a good two 40 oz!
Dwayne then begins to show how to speak ebonics. DWAYNE Okay easiest way to start speaking gangsta is learning how to drop yo letters. KEVIN Wha lik thi? DWAYNE NO! I mean like you choose yo words man. EZRA Oh so when you be talkin this ya heard? DWAYNE I swear you are already lil G on yo way man. JOSE This isn’t getting easier. Isn’t there any way for us to speed this up? KEVIN Yeah man this is getting complicated, isn’t there an easier way? Dwayne stands there rubbing his head. DWAYNE Aight the best and quickest way fo me is like watchin what yous wanna be doing nah mean? KEVIN You mean like visual stimulation? DWAYNE Yeah yeah that’s what I’m saying. That’s yo homework and get back at me next week.
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18. INT. DWAYNE’S CAR, DAY Dwayne stops the lesson, goes back to his car and talks into his dictaphone again. DWAYNE Note to self: Lessons are going well, the young apprentices have not figured out I’m not a so-called thug. Seems like Ezra is more of an action taker but doesn’t think too much, Kevin is too angular in his thinking and Jose is just shy. Dwayne stops at a red light and sees two real gangstas roll up next to his car. He asks them to roll down their windows. DWAYNE Excuse me gentlemen, where did you learn to be thugs? THUG #1 What you serious kid? Ayo I learn from the corner, Carlton looking motherfucker now get yo ass home before I knock you the fuck out. THUG #2 You primpy looking motherfucker. DWAYNE Right okay thank you! Dwayne rolls up his window and records on his dictaphone again. DWAYNE Note to self: Stick to learning from the internet and not real world experiences, I don’t think my body would survive a so-called "beatdown". Dwayne begins to feel proud of himself and rolls up his sleeves. DWAYNE I already sound like a thug, this is getting easier by the day!
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19. EXT. PARKING LOT ALLEY, DAY The next day the boys meet for another lesson. DWAYNE Now that I’ve taught you how to walk and talk, now you gotta walk the walk. KEVIN D-Wayne before we do this, can we learn something else first? DWAYNE What’s that? KEVIN How to deal with bullies. DWAYNE What? Bullies, you mean deal with some bitch up in yo grill? EZRA Yeah cause you see, we got this guy in school who treats us like shit, and well we hired you so we can learn to be a man on our two feet you know? DWAYNE Iight lil man, you want to shut this fool up for good right? JOSE Yeah, so are you going to teach us how? Dwayne is taken aback. He hasn’t seen many characters who couldn’t fight in any of the films he has seen. The characters were reluctant but were still able to fight. DWAYNE Uh yeah man, you gotta be crazy you know? KEVIN What do you mean? DWAYNE I mean like imagine yo stank face right? Imagine you is sniffing vinegar right under yo nose. What face would you make? (CONTINUED)
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The boys look at each other and then begin to show the most grotesque faces. DWAYNE Nah I meant crazy son, not like you sniffed yo asshole, like this. Dwayne tries to give a mean face but looks just as bad as the boys. EZRA You have the exact same face as us though. DWAYNE Nah I mean, I was showing what you was doing wrong nah mean? Iight lil dudes, this the lesson for today. Be a fucking psycho, I mean the minute this fool gets within like foot near you, yo like punch his balls like it’s Super Mario hitting a block to get coins. EZRA Huh? You’re suggesting to hit him in the balls? DWAYNE Ay man, a fight’s a fight, if this dude is bigger than you, unless you is like Bruce Lee or some shit I wouldn’t know what else you would be doing son. JOSE Wouldn’t it be easier to like shoot him or something? KEVIN And where you going to get a gun? JOSE I don’t know, okay maybe shooting is too extreme, stabbing? EZRA Same problem. JOSE No, lawnmower blades are surprisingly very sharp. (CONTINUED) gangsta inc.
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Dwayne looks at them in disbelief and motions for them to sit down. DWAYNE Nah nah lil man, using weapons when they don’t have any, you a bitch. You gotta be your own man, stand on your own two feet to take care of business. EZRA Yeah but stabbing him will stop it. DWAYNE Yo I may be yo lil gangsta tutor project shit, but at the end of the day, you gotta be your own man. KEVIN Look I appreciate you trying to "school" us on the ways of life outside the street, but you’re in a different stratosphere. You’re a thug, people respect you. JOSE We don’t have that, so I don’t think you understand where we come from. So I think for today all we’d like to know is how to at least survive the day without looking like a bitch. Dwayne looks solemn and with an exasperated face rubs his face and chin. DWAYNE Okay lil dudes, today’s lesson is done, we’ll pick this up tomorrow. INT. DWAYNE’S CAR, DAY Dwayne drives off and begins dictating into his dictaphone. DWAYNE Day 3 of training, the young men seem to be in a difficult situation. How is it possible to relate to them? I feel for them and they need some help. They feel helpless. Also they are hard-headed and stubborn! So difficult to work with.
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22. Dwayne turns on the music player and begins to play Kryptonite by Three Doors Down. EXT. SCHOOL ENTRANCE, DAY The boys are leaving school and are surprised when they see that Dwayne is outside waiting to meet them. EZRA D-Wayne, what are you doing here? DWAYNE Now it’s time for a real world lesson, so listen up. What now?
EZRA
DWAYNE Ay man I got shit to do as well man. So look this what we gon do, we gon roll up on this fool who is bothering you and I’ll tell you exactly what to do and say iight? KEVIN I don’t think that’s such a great idea. DWAYNE Ay who givin the lessons, you or me? You...
KEVIN
DWAYNE That’s right, iight so let’s go fix this lil problem of y’all being a bitch. JOSE It’s not really a problem as aDWAYNE (interrupting) You getting your ass kicked? Yes.
JOSE
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23. DWAYNE Messing with you any chance he gets? Yeah.
KEVIN
DWAYNE Then he a problem. Iight so let me show you how to take care yo shit. Dwayne gives them outfits. He fits a simple white T-shirt and jeans with a pair of black steel-toe boots for Kevin. To Jose he gives a khaki button-up shirt, matching trousers and a pair of simple white sneakers. He gives Ezra an old gray T-shirt with some holes in it, a dirty skullcap and a pair of faded jeans, with jet black steel-toe boots. DWAYNE This is the final lesson and with this I’ll tell you three things iight? Ezra, Jose, and Kevin look at him perplexed. DWAYNE 1. This is your first and final test. 2. Walk up to that bully and school him with these three disses I wrote down for each one of you, as soon as he turns around you kick him in the balls and bitch him the fuck out. 3. Use this once and only once, never again little homies iight? EZRA What? How come we can’t use it again? KEVIN Yeah we can take over this school and run shit. DWAYNE Being a G ain’t bein bout having power, it’s about taking care of yo shit, and let your actions speak louder then yo words iight? Trust me people gon be talking to you for a while after this lil man.
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24. INT. SCHOOL LUNCHROOM, DAY Jose, Ezra and Kevin walk over to Jonathan and confront him in a triangle formation. KEVIN Yo Jonathan! JONATHAN The fuck you want eggroll dick? KEVIN Yo momma’s so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order! The kids around the lunchroom stop and stare and begin to laugh like crazy, hooting and hollering, encouraging them. JOSE Yo Jonathan you so ugly, when you jerk off your hand tries to fall asleep. Jonathan looks furious and is ready to beat them. He begins clenching his fist. EZRA Yo Jonathan, I ain’t got no jokes I just got facts, your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. The crowd around them erupts in laughter and cheers. Jonathan is furious and goes toward Kevin first. As soon as he readies to punch Kevin, Kevin kicks him right in the testicles. Jonathan goes down like a sack of potatoes and begins to cry. The whole lunchroom laughs and begins to cheer the trio. boys walk off toward the basketball courts. As they walk they each find a note in their trousers from Dwayne. It reads "If you reading this with both eyes open means you a good job, best of luck. Oh and I’m not a real gangsta, now you guys are don’t abuse it."
The off
Dwayne is seen driving off in his car blasting Nickelback once more.
did but
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25. EXT. BUS STOP, DAY Ezra, Kevin and Jose meet up at school the next day feeling proud of themselves. They walk with their gangsta lean and head toward the school. EZRA Okay before we enter class I have one question. Am I the only one who realized that D-Wayne spells Dwayne? And he didn’t really seem like the thug type? JOSE I don’t know, I learned a bit from him man. I think he was a thug. KEVIN Well now that you mention it, I did hear some of the music he had in his car, and it was pretty odd for a gangsta to listen to that type of music. EZRA Man that is racist, you mean a black man cannot enjoy the music of another culture? You better recognize fool. KEVIN Yeah okay, but I meant specifically the songs of Nickelback and Sum 41, cause I highly doubt that would be in most people’s music, let alone a thug’s. JOSE Umm damn, okay that is kind of weird but what can we say, I mean he did do a lot for us. EZRA Fair enough, I mean we finally stood up to Jonathan. KEVIN Did he seem like an actor type to you? JOSE Kevin just leave it man, whoever he was or is, he’s probably helping someone who really needs it.
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26. INT. CASTING ROOM, DAY Dwayne is called into another audition, the last one his agent was able to get him. It calls for a tough-love gangsta who plays a mentor role to young kids. DWAYNE Oh this is perfect! Who would have thought I would be so fortuitous to find a role so perfectly suited for me! CASTING DIRECTOR Okay next one in please! Please state your name and read lines starting from page 7. DWAYNE My name is Dwayne. Okay, give me a second to get into character please. CASTING DIRECTOR Sure, go ahead. Dwayne breathes in deeply, closes his eyes and concentrates intently on what he has learned from his time with the boys. DWAYNE Ay man! I said don’t look at me that way! Who the fuck do you think I am? CASTING DIRECTOR That was good but can you give me an action, a bodily motion in order to feel intimidation from the character. Dwayne thinks that he isn’t in character enough. He pulls out a gun and points it at the casting director. CASTING DIRECTOR What the hell do you think you’re doing?! DWAYNE Shut up, just shut up! Who da fuck gave you permission to speak? CASTING DIRECTOR Okay, just relax Dwayne. (CONTINUED)
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27. DWAYNE Who da fuck you calling Dwayne motherfucker?
The casting director and his associates, all scared out of their wits, scramble for the door and begin dialing 911. Dwayne walks around as a disturbed and upset character. DWAYNE You don’t know me man! YOU DON’T KNOW ME! Dwayne finally points the gun and shoots a BB pellet. He screams in pain. He drops the BB gun then gives himself a pat on the back. CASTING DIRECTOR Seriously, did you just act like a maniac to get this part? DWAYNE It’s better than last time, at least I got out of character. The police rush in, handcuff Dwayne and begin to take him away. The casting director motions to them to bring Dwayne to him. CASTING DIRECTOR That is the most amazingly brave and retarded thing in the world you just did. You got the part. YES!!!!
DWAYNE
Dwayne screams excitedly as he is dragged away. He is seen continually celebrating in the squad car, in the courthouse, and his jail cell. FADE OUT.
THE END
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