Mark’s Story

Born in 1970 and raised a Jehovah’s Witness, my childhood experience was fear, insecurity, guilt, shame, isolation, and not being permitted to think for myself, express my genuine emotions or question anything. Raised by a closed-minded father who presided over the church I attended, he ruled the family home with an iron fist, seemingly incapable of showing tenderness, love or compassion. I breathed a sigh of relief when he left the family home when I was just 10 years old.

At 14, I questioned everything indoctrinated into me from birth and finally left the religion at sixteen. I left my home and decided to find my way in life. I soon chose poor friends, experimented with drugs and unhealthy relationships and drifted into a life of crime.

At 42, I was allowed to go to rehab for 4 months after being addicted to heroin and crack cocaine for 17 years. Before those 17 years, I had been sectioned twice under the Mental Health Act and hospitalised with drug-induced psychosis, bipolar disorder and manic depression. I had been using drugs in total for 26 years. During those 26 years, I committed many crimes leading to six prison terms, the last being in 2006.

On my release in 2008, wanting to turn my life around, I volunteered for three years and then built a career for myself with an organisation that helped me to grow as a person, learn some amazing skills, and have a meaningful and satisfying career empowering people to make better decisions in their lives. I rebuilt relationships, and outwardly, my life seemed pretty desirable from the outside, but for the last 4 years, there was an underlying dissatisfaction, which became a chronic depression. Despair followed, becoming disconnected, isolated, hopeless and ungrateful for my life. In the past two years, I came close so many times to fully self-destructing and had an overwhelming sense that I did not want to live more times than I can count. I had become a hopeless wretch, and nobody could help me.

One day last July, my partner, who had her struggles and challenges, came across Gas Street Church on YouTube.

She asked if I fancied trying it out, and I have no idea why I said yes, except there was a slight glimmer of hope that this might help somehow. I remember that first time we walked into Gas Street Church, standing in the back row, because within seconds, I felt overwhelmed by emotion and no matter how much I tried to suppress it, it surged out of me in floods of tears, my body trembling for over ten minutes. I returned to Gas Street a couple of weeks later and remembered coming forward at the end of the gathering for prayer. The prayer was powerful, and when I walked back to where I had been sitting, I remember continuing to pray, and it was as though God lovingly asked, “Are you ready now”? That was the day I surrendered my will and welcomed Jesus into my life as my Lord and Saviour, as my friend, my God, and that was the moment my life changed. August 21st 2022.

Not long after, I went on the Alpha course, a great way to be introduced to the Christian faith. From the start, I felt no judgement that I could be myself, ask questions, and express anything I wanted. It was such a loving space. I met some wonderful people on that course, and we have become like family now.

In November, I was baptised, and my Alpha family came to experience it with me. Since then, so many things have happened, probably because I rely on God to guide me. I have so many new and beautiful friendships through Gas Street. I have the privilege of serving on Alpha and have been blessed with three of my closest friends currently doing Alpha. This is just the start! I know this with absolute conviction in my heart. With Jesus, all things are possible, and for me, it all started with a YouTube stream, a visit to a place brimming with love and light and filled with the Holy Spirit. Now I wake up and spend as long as possible in His presence. At night I am filled with gratitude. I want nothing more than to live and experience the fullness of life in Jesus. The greatest present I could ever have is the hope I found in Jesus. I am not religious, but I have a church, a community and a family where the light of Jesus shines so brightly in Birmingham. Thank you, Gas Street and everyone who has been part of my journey into faith. God bless you.