I... Me... Mine

By Doug Ford, DVM, Production Animal Consultation, & Greg Quakenbush, DVM, Geissler Corp.

There are so many lessons to be learned on our journey here on earth. Some big, some small, some insignificant, some life changing for the positive or negative, and some are just good information. Many of the lessons I don’t remember, but are still part of the big picture called life. I believe, all are strategically placed in our path pulling in different directions toning, molding, contouring, and building much like a frustrated muscle group during a rigorous work out. No pain, no gain.

One of my more memorable life changing lessons involved a frustrating often tense relationship with a close neighbor. The heart of the lesson was to be agonizing and would come via the slow burn, gotcha method evolving over a period of ten long painful years.

The lesson began when Jan and I purchased a 4th generation family ranch in the South Platte River basin near Snyder, Colo. The ranch had been the hub of the family for over 100 years. It was a known fact that the property would likely remain in the family for another 100 years. We were in total shock and disbelief when we were approached with an offer to purchase the property private treaty. After many days of the usual price dickering and negotiating, a deal was made. As part of the negotiation the youngest son was to retain 35 acres “smack dab” in the middle of the parcel. New boundary lines were established, and agreements were made with a handshake. New fences were built, and we were officially neighbors.

We all worked for several years establishing what was to be the new normal. Unfortunately, as time passed little twinges of strife would appear out of nowhere. In our frustration, the continuing goal was to always foster good healthy relations, promote peace, and achieve some sense of harmony, which often proved somewhat impossible. I continually remained mindful of how I would have felt if the ranch I had grown up on was suddenly sold out from under me. The resentment, betrayal and heart ache had to be real. Unfortunately, time does not always heal all wounds.

The perpetuation of discord grew out of control, with the exception of one sunny spring day eight years into our struggle. It is no secret that one of my favorite vices is heavy equipment. Track hoes, backhoes, dozers, and skidders to name a few. Heavy equipment is expensive to buy, and even more expensive to operate and maintain. Every repair on a track hoe starts at $5000. Another downside of owning this type of equipment or having a prime spot for duck, goose, deer, and turkey hunting is it will expose the “hey old buddy” syndrome. How is this relevant to my story? As it turned out, our domestic feud was about to be put on hold. In a weak moment, the opposing team needed to borrow the 210EC Volvo excavator to harvest gravel for his ailing septic system. Years earlier I reluctantly loaned the machine to my neighbor for a different project, and I didn’t feel comfortable with a repeat performance. In my frustration, I agreed to use of the machine but felt I should be the primary operator.

With gritted teeth and my head held high, I began the project. Most buckets produced clean usable gravel, but some were laced with heavy, dark, sulfide smelling mud. Deep down in my heart, “I” knew that would not be suitable, but “I” didn’t really care as “I” thought about the past eight years. After all “I” was the victim, “I” was paying for the fuel, “I” was putting wear and tear on my machine, “I” was spending my valuable time, “I” was unappreciated, “I” was being the bigger man, “I” was justified in my feelings, and at the very least “I” didn’t deserve the past decade of mental abuse and verbal shaming. After all, “I” was right, and my resolve was to be unshakable. I, I, I, me, me, me!!!

Ironically, as fate would have it “I” now own the 35 acres, the house, and the refurbished septic system. Humbly, each day I pray for the crop failure mentioned in the last parable, resulting from my seeds of discord and strife. “An enemy will give you in a day what a friend can’t give you in a lifetime.” Adversaries are a master key to life, renewers of perspective if you will.

Attitude is everything, grace is everything, humor is everything, humility is everything, forgiveness is everything, integrity is everything. Christ did it all while establishing His code of conduct here on earth and in heaven. He also freely gave the first and the best of all He had unconditionally. Surely, we should do the same. Ultimately, it is not what happens to us, but what happens in us. Forgive me, Lord. Always being right is overrated and comes with a high price tag. Often it is a destroyer of partnerships, relationships, friendships, and families. There is exponential power in unity and agreement. Lesson learned... I hope?

Digging Deeper

Are you “good” to go... ?

In 2020, a survey undertaken by the Cultural Research Center at Arizona Christian University asked the question, “is man basically good”? The Center interviewed 2000 adults for its survey which included individuals of all ages, ethnicities, beliefs, and political views. The survey revealed that 7 out of 10 adults responded that they believe man is basically good.

One situation that constantly challenges the position of the “I am good” crowd is the seemingly constant stream of difficult or even adversarial people who are in our lives or have crossed our path. If I asked you to think of a difficult individual, no doubt that someone will come immediately to mind. It possibly will be a list rather than a single name. Maybe the first name that comes to mind might be a child, spouse, parent, or other family member. From there the next tier likely comes from work, neighbors and maybe even a “friend” or two. Identifying an “adversarial” person in politics or the cultural elite is just too easy and the list will definitely be long.

“I have met the enemy and he is us...”

I wonder how many readers would have identified themselves as a “difficult person”. I know for sure that 7 out of 10 would not have even considered it as they were shown in the survey above to identify as “good”. In the Bible, we will find that 100% of us are identified as difficult or adversarial people. The Bible uses a different term called “sinners”. This is naturally an unpopular label, but one that has proven to be accurate and true. Sinners by nature have one overriding principle, “Me before thee”. My life is most important (I’m #1) and even essential. But your life... not so much.

Romans 3:23 (ESV): For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Genesis 6:5 (ESV): The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

The above verses give the correct answer to the question, “is man basically good?” No, he is not. God knows that man is intrinsically evil and therein lies the problem.

Possibly the most well-known of Jesus’s teaching on dealing with difficult and even adversarial people is found in the Sermon on the Mount. “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you.” (Luke 6:27-31 NLT).

Paul adds to the discussion of the topic of dealing with others with this instruction from Philippians 2:3-4 (NASB). “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” If couples took this one verse to heart, it is hard to imagine that an amazing strong and loving relationship would not be the result. What about this principle being utilized as the philosophy for a business? Note, this recipe is not a “once and done” thing but practiced consistently and daily.

The final point comes from Romans 12:17-21 (ESV). “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” The key principle here is not to return “evil” for “evil”. Not returning evil for evil would certainly put a crimp in the crime of “road rage”. This syndrome might be the greatest example of how returning evil with more evil only escalates the situation. Evil response play right into the hands of the enemy, Satan.

The above Bible verses regarding how to deal with others is a small sampling of a huge Biblical topic. Admittedly, the elephant in the room is “who can respond in this manner?” “What about the wrong done to me? I cannot just just ‘roll over’.”

The Biblical response to dealing with others is not consistently possible without supernatural assistance. By supernatural, I mean spiritual vs. bodily or fleshly. Christianity is about “rebirth”, and that rebirth involves becoming alive spiritually where we previously were dead in that regard. The natural man (who sees himself as “basically good”) does not have the spiritual resources to respond without bringing out the worst in himself. Revealing... man is basically evil.

Regarding dealing with others. You know, those who are selfish, rude, mean, dishonest, argumentive, and so forth. In other words, you and me. How do we want God to respond to us? Are we OK if God gives us “what we deserve”? That certainly seems fair.

What we deserve is what happened to Jesus. The punishment for our wrong doings were placed upon Him. He took our place and the judgement we deserve was inflicted upon Him. Since we as Christ followers have been given grace (undeserved merit or favor), mercy (not receiving what we truly deserved) and forgiveness , how can we not extend the same to others in consideration of what we have freely been given?

[i] https://christiannews.net/2020/06/26/survey-shows-most-americans-believehumans-are-basically-good-but-dont-think-life-is-sacred/

Doug Ford, DVM is the owner of Beaver Creek Veterinary Clinic in Brush, Colorado. Doug earned his DVM degree from Colorado State University. Brush, Colorado has been his home since graduating from Colorado State. Doug’s practice has been remarkably diverse over 40 years of veterinary medicine. Dogs, cats, cow/calf, feedlot, two sale barns, and spaying thousands of heifers for grass. The last 20 years of practice has been 50% large western dairies and 50% beef cattle (spaying, cow/calf, and feedlots). In 2005, Doug was given the privilege to become one of the six founding members of PAC. Doug and his wife Jan ranch in their “spare” time. They are also heavily involved in a wetlands development project on the South Platte River near Snyder, Colorado. Doug’s dad used to say, “Get your grades up. Do you want to grow up to be a ditch digger?” Doug had no idea how much fun it would be to play in the dirt with dozers and track hoes. He feels truly blessed and believes that the best days are yet to come.

Greg Quakenbush, DVM is a 1978 graduate of Colorado State University and spent 16 years in large animal practice in Porterville, California. For 19 years, Dr. Q worked for Zoetis (Pfizer) and was Director of the US Cattle Technical Services team. Since 2013, Dr. Q has worked with the Geissler Corporation assisting in the development of new veterinary diagnostic technologies. Dr. Q enjoys Bible study, shooting sports, fly-fishing, and being a part-time farmer growing citrus and nuts in the central valley of California.