Food Before You Finish! Written by Sydney Glide, Illustrations by Fiona Tien
J
acking off or making flapjacks? We have such busy schedules; why should we have to decide between porn and making a delicious dinner entree. With these quick and tasty recipes that pair nicely with an adult film, you can tenderize your meat, while you tenderize your meat! You’ll have mouth watering food before you finish. Boner-appetit!
Entree - Rump Roast Find a supple roast, rubbed gently with olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper. Place in oven until juicy and rare. Finish with a nice brown gravy for extra flavor. Drink - Mudslide Mix vodka, ice, coffee liqueur, and irish cream liqueur. Blend until creamy. Finish with a whipped cream and chocolate syrup garnish. Film - Anal Dream Team
Entree - Veal and Baby Corn Keep this youthful piece of meat taut, by lightly oiling and browning over low untilbrowned. Pair this with freshly steamed baby corn. Season as desired. Drink - White Russian Everyone needs calcium for their growing bones. This mixture of vodka, kahlua, and cream is sure to complement the innocent veal flavors. Film - Adult Baby Girl 8
Entree - Beer can Chicken Rub down rotisserie chicken with olive oil and seasonings. Once properly oiled, thrust your favorite canned beer into the opening of a rotisserie chicken. Drink - Bean Flicker This Michigan beer provides a local flavor, with a hint of coffee flavor that is sure to stimulate your taste buds. Film - Fisting Frenzy 3
4