16 FEATURES
DECEMBER.01.2008 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM
Broken homes, broken bones
Domestic abuse is a lot more common than most realise. Charlene Anderson quashes the rumours around this misunderstood issue
M
any people think they know the facts about domestic violence. But since it’s an issue which is often kept hushed up, there are many myths swimming around with the facts. So what is fact and what is fiction when it comes to domestic abuse? Myth: "Domestic violence is quite rare." Fact: Not at all. In fact, evidence suggests the opposite, and since only 40% of cases are reported, there are many more victims of domestic violence than we think. At least 1 in 4 women, and 1 in 6 men, are victims of domestic abuse at some point. UK police attend a domestic violence incident every minute of every day. Over 45,000 children and women stay in refuge each year because of domestic violence. Two women a week are murdered by a current or former partner. In fact, while you are currently reading this article, between 1 and 9 women are experiencing domestic violence. Myth: "Domestic abuse only affects women."
Fact: Men can also be victims of domestic abuse, albeit less frequently than women, but it is still wholly unacceptable. According to Home Office figures in 2001, of an estimated 635,000 cases reported to the police, 19% of victims were men. In 2007 this went down by 11%, but men are significantly less likely to report domestic violence or seek help, so there may be many more men suffering. Myth: "Domestic violence only happens in marriages between men and women." Fact: Domestic violence can happen in heterosexual, gay, lesbian and transgender relationships, regardless of whether the couple are married or not. In fact, couples don’t even have to be living together, or even, be ‘officially together’ for abuse to be classified as domestic violence. The government definition includes non-cohabiting couples, former couples, and cohabiting couples, but Women’s Aid expands this to include all relationships of a family-type, which can be sexual or non-sexual, and even includes housemates. Statistics show that of the reported
incidences of domestic violence, 81% were females abused by males, 8% were males abused by females, 7% were males abused by males whereas 4% were females abused by female. 25% of victims do not live with their abuser.
Domestic abuse is a serious and growing problem for students Myth: "Abusers themselves."
were
abused
Fact: Sometimes, but not always. In fact, extensive research shows that the majority were not abused, nor did they not grow up in violent homes. Myth: "Violent men can’t help it." Fact: Domestic abuse is a choice, and violent men (and women) can change. 85% of men only hit their partners in private. Often it’s on parts of the body which are clothed so people won’t see, and most abusers are less likely to do it again if there is a consequence, such
as a warning or arrest. This shows that they know- and are in control of- what they are doing. They often allow themselves to believe they can’t help it to avoid taking responsibility. Many violent men change once shown positive strategies, but they have to want to change themselves; others cannot do it for them. Myth: "The woman always has the choice to leave the abusive partner." Fact: Sadly, this is not always the case. There are many reasons why women stay in abusive relationships. These include fear of further violence, lack of knowledge or access to help, economic dependence, children, emotional dependence, social isolation and lack of confidence. Some stay because they think that a divorce would be frowned upon in their culture or religion. Some even feel that domestic abuse is acceptable in their culture or religion. They do not simply ‘choose’ to say, but often feel they ‘have’ to stay. Myth: "Abused women are doormats." Fact: All types of women can experience domestic violence. Even strong independent women. Even strong, independent men.
Over 45,000 children and women get put in refuge each year Myth: "It doesn’t affect the student population."
DOMESTIC ABUSE: women are suffering in silence
Fact: Domestic abuse is a growing problem for students, especially for those studying in Wales, according to a survey of 10 Welsh universities conducted by the NUS and Amnesty International earlier this year. Two thirds of students in Wales know women whose boyfriends have hit them, and two fifths know women who have been pressured into sex by partners. 22% of students said they were not sure about how to or where to turn for advice on domestic violence. 39% would encourage a woman to report it to the police but 22% said they wouldn’t. 70 % of students feel there should be services on campus to help student suffering from domestic violence. One third said the woman was partly to blame for sexual abuse or rape if she was drunk. These revelations have prompted Amnesty International to call for the Welsh Assembly to run a violence prevention programme.
Ceri Isfryn explores the startlingly high rates of LGBT abuse...
Students are affected just as much as anyone else.
W
hen we think of domestic abuse, we inevitably conjure up images of beaten women cowering in the shadows of their abusive husband's fists. It was starling, for me anyhow, to If you any reported way by read thatare oneaffected nationalin survey domestic abuse, or and are 22% concerned that 29% of gay men of gay about wellbeing,domestic please womenanother's had experienced contact Wales Abuse abuse. Ofthe these, 24%Domestic and 19% had exHelpline 0808recurrent 80 10 800 periencedon some abuse. One survey showed that of the transgender participants questioned, 50% had been raped or assaulted in their life. But why are these figure so high? It may be because it's gospel that a man hitting a woman it wholly unacceptable in British society, whereas the moral correctness of hitting someone of the same sex seems to vary with the situation. The misconceptions grow deeper than that. Claims that someone experiencing domestic abuse who is LGBT is more able to leave a relationship, perhaps because there are no children involved are grossly unfounded. In fact, it could be argued that LGBT victims are at a particularly increased risk when faced with domestic abuse. Abusers may threaten to disclose their sexuality or control their access to social networks, such as gay scenes. Exclusion may lead an inexperienced gay victim to believe that domestic abuse is part of a 'normal' LGBT relationship. They may also experience irrational fears that no-one will help because someone ‘deserves’ the abuse for being gay. One nursing journal notes that maleon-male domestic violence is particularly common in couples where one or both persons are HIV-positive. Abuse can include humiliation by threatening to disclose HIV status, or harm by withholding HIV therapy.
Statistics hide the real life sufferings of victims Surely it's time we, as a nation, stopped overlooking such blatant and life-threatening cruelty? There is a glaring lack of specialist services available to LGBT victims and many generic services are not geared to provide appropriate safety planning and support to LGBT people who have experienced domestic abuse. The problem with statistics is that they hide the real stories of people who have suffered, and are still suffering, and will go unnoticed unless things change.