Thursday
May 10-16 2004
Page 25
Fuckingdeniedbyripoffmerchants@Media_awards.com
Kerching! BBC1 4.35pm
Dangerous Passions BBC1 9pm
Celebrity Snatch
60 Minute Makeover
Sky One 1am
ITV1 1pm
06.00 CBBC: The Animals of Farthing Wood 06.25 UBOS 06.45 Dennis the Menace 07.10 Home Farm Twins 07.30 Blue Peter 07.55 Newsround 08.00 CBeebies: Big Cook Little Cook 08.20 Tots TV 08.30 Bobinogs 08.40 Pingu 08.45 Boo! 09.00 Balamory 09.20 SMarteenies 09.40 Tweenies 10.00 Teletubbies 10.30 Hands Up! 10.45 Pathways of Belief: Sikhism 11.00 The Way Things Work 11.15 Pathways of Belief: Christianity 11.30 The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 13.10 FILM: The Intelligence Men ** 14.55 Eggheads 15.25 Flog It! 16.25 Ready Steady Cook 17.10 Weakest Link 17.55 Party Election Broadcast by the Welsh Liberal Democrats 18.00 The Fresh Prince of Bel Air Wank. 18.20 The Fresh Prince of Bel Air Irredeemably bad. 18.40 My Wife and Kids Tragic. 19.00 TOTP 2 19.30 Counties of Wales: Denbighshire 20.00 Cousins: Apes The Sports Desk story. 20.50 The Flying Gardener 21.00 Make Me Honest A night-club owner mentors a man who has served a year for credit card fraud. Bet they eventually end up performing a huge drug deal instead of going straight. 22.00 That Was the Week We Watched The legend that is Simon Pegg narrates a focus on the week 11-17 April 1970. 22.30 Newsnight 23.20 3 Non-Blondes 23.50 BBC Four on BBC Two: The Guguletu Seven: Storyville 01.20 Days That Shook the World 02.00 BBC Learning Zone
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 13.00 Sixty Minute Makeover 14.00 Building the Dream 14.30 Antiques Auction 15.00 ITV1 Wales News and Weather 15.15 Boohbah 15.35 Tutenstein 16.00 Globo Loco 16.30 My Parents Are Aliens 17.00 I Want That House 17.30 Building the Dream 18.00 ITV1 Wales News and Weather 18.25 Party Election Broadcast by the Welsh Liberal Democrats 18.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 19.00 Emmerdale Andy learns from social services if Daz can return for good as well as washing whiter than white. 19.30 The Great Beers of Wales These are the stories of Buchan's Beer in the Rhymney Valley and the Evans Bevan dynasty in the Vale of Neath. Both were eventually amalgamated to form Whitbread Wales, but then closed. What a thrilling story... 20.00 The Bill Gabriel takes the law into his own hands when he discovers a paedophile is living in the area. I suppose even angels must hate nonces. 21.00 Trouble in Paradise 22.00 Wales This Week 22.30 ITV News 23.00 Party Election Broadcast by the Green Party 23.05 A Promised Land 00.05 The World of Van Helsing 00.30 Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married 00.55 The District 01.40 Grounded for Life 02.05 1996 Forever 02.55 Strictly Soho 03.20 Cybernet
06.10 The Hoobs 06.35 The Hoobs 07.00 The Fit Farm 07.30 Friends 08.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 08.30 Cheers 09.00 The Fit Farm 09.30 Ysgolion (Schools) (9.3012.00): Life Stuff: More than Love 09.55 gcsEASE: The Business 10.20 Life Stuff: World of Difference 10.45 Arrows of Desire 11.10 English Programme 11.35 Life Stuff: Working Week 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Planed Plant (12.30-1.15): Binca 12.40 Tweenies 13.05 Clwc 13.15 Channel 4 Racing from York 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant (4.00-5.00): Troeon Tristan 16.15 Traed Moch 16.50 Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy 17.55 Party Election Broadcast Europe A European Election Broadcast by the Welsh Liberal Democrats. 18.00 Friends 18.30 Friends 18.55 Y Clwb Rygbi 20.50 Pobol y Cwm Good news for Dai, but bad news for Cai and Emma as their new flatmate turns out to be a compulsive masterbator. 21.20 Clwb Garddio 21.50 Tipyn O Stad 22.20 Darllediad Etholiadol Ewrop European Parliamentary Election Broadcast by the Welsh Liberal Democrats. 22.25 Newyddion News. 22.40 Aileen: Life and Death of a Serial Killer Whatever your opinion on Monster, Nick Broomfield’s documentary is a fascinating portrait of serial killer Aileen Wuornos. 00.30 Dispatches 01.30 Perfect Match New York 02.30 The PJs 03.25 Brazilian Football Championship: Coritiba v Sao Paulo
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 The Save-Ums! 08.45 The Save-Ums! 08.55 MechaNick 09.05 Oswald 09.20 PB Bear and Friends 09.25 Hot Property 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 BrainTeaser 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.35 Memory Bank 14.05 FILM: The Young Guns *** 15.45 FILM: Night Passage ** 17.30 five news 17.55 Party Political Broadcast by the Green Party 18.00 Home and Away Kirsty shatters Seb with her lies. He must be pretty fragile then, or she’s actually a banshee... 18.30 Family Affairs 19.00 five news 19.30 Tim Marlow on the Lady Lever Art Gallery 20.00 Who Killed Tutankhamun?... 21.00 FILM: Conspiracy Theory Average Gibson thriller. *** 23.40 Laureus Sports Awards 01.10 Jonathan Pearce's Football Night 01.50 Dutch Football: PSV Eindhoven v ADO Den Haag 03.20 Argentinian Football 04.50 Argentinian Football Highlights 05.20 US Major League Soccer: LA Galaxy v Dallas Burn What fucking awful names the American teams have. Then again Sheffield Wednesday and Crewe Alexandria are pretty stupid themselves. Well it’s the first bit of space I’ve had to fill this week so far: I’ll espouse the genius of Kevin Shields as My Bloody Valentine’s Sometimes makes me weep with joy.
19.00 The 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19.30 Phill Jupitus's Top of the Pops 2 20.00 EastEnders Revealed 20.30 Eurovision On Location Lorraine Kelly and Paddy O'Connell provide the latest news and gossip from this year's Eurovision Song Contest in Istanbul, Turkey, and preview the entries for Saturday's final. Obscenely pointless TV wank. 21.00 Trauma on Three 21.30 Little Angels This edition features a couple whose 5-yearold son Matthew seems to be out of control. Hmm, do you think they’ll blame ADHD or bad parenting? Looks like he’ll be doped up with Ritalin within the 30 minutes... 22.00 EastEnders 22.30 Who Rules the Roost 23.30 Shaun Ryder: The Ecstasy and the Agony 00.30 Eurovision On Location 01.00 Trauma on Three 01.30 Little Angels 02.00 Sex Warts and All USA 02.30 Dreamspaces 03.00 Eurovision On Location 03.30 Trauma on Three
09.25 Coronation Street 09.55 Emmerdale 10.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 11.15 Judge Judy 12.30 Coronation Street 13.00 Emmerdale 13.30 Airline 14.00 Trisha 15.05 The John Walsh Show 15.55 Sally Jessy Raphael 16.40 Judge Judy 18.00 The British Soap Awards 2004 - The Stars Arrive Pointless toss. 19.00 Jerry Springer 19.50 Dancing in the Street Almost as entertaining as “Blank Screen”. 20.00 The British Soap Awards 2004 Paul O'Grady hosts the British Soap Awards - a starstudded event which celebrates the country's most popular TV shows, with 18 awards honouring homegrown talent. I honestly believe that if this event was destroyed in some kind of gak/toupee accident and there were no survivors I’d sleep happier at night. 22.30 The British Soap Awards 2004 - The Party 23.35 Bad Girls 00.35 Jerry Springer 01.25 Late Show with David Letterman 02.10 Teleshopping
06.00 Dr Phil 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Batman 08.00 Gamezville 09.00 Stargate SG-1 10.00 The X Files 11.00 ER 12.00 FILM: Icebreaker * 13.45 Scrubs 14.15 Jenny Jones 15.05 The Sharon Osbourne Show 16.00 Mutant X 17.00 Star Trek: Voyager 18.00 Stargate SG-1 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons 20.00 Jake 2.0 21.00 24 Jack and Kim face off against Nina, but not before Chase has some explaining to do when his secret love for porn involving Lisa Riley is revealed. 22.00 Cold Case 23.00 The Handler 00.00 Star Trek: Voyager 01.00 Celebrity Snatch 01.25 Celebrity Snatch The mind boggles as to what this programme features. Suffice to say your granny won’t like it. 01.50 The X Files 02.40 Dark Angel 03.30 Early Edition 04.20 Hot Love 05.10 The Nanny 05.35 The Nanny
14.00 The Fit Farm 14.30 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 15.30 Dawson's Creek 16.30 Hollyoaks 17.00 Friends 17.30 Friends 18.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years While stopping a robbery, Clark is rendered temporarily blind - only for his hearing to become extremely sensitive. Are you sure it’s not from too much monkey wrenching Clark? 19.00 Dawson's Creek A fishing tournament provides a chance for some father-son bonding. A slight editing of that last sentence would produce the funniest listing I’ve ever seen - and possibly the most disturbing. 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends 21.00 Friends 21.30 ER 22.30 Infamous Fives 23.00 Bo Selecta! 23.30 Friends 00.05 ER 00.55 Hollyoaks 01.25 Trigger Happy USA 01.55 The World of Van Helsing 02.25 Infamous Fives 02.50 Bo Selecta! 03.15 Trigger Happy USA
As S4C except: 07.30 Friends 08.00 Everybody Loves Raymond I don’t he’s a whining cunt. 08.30 Cheers 09.00 The Fit Farm 09.30 More Than Love 09.55 The Business: Fish to Go 10.20 World of Difference 11.10 Film Focus Featuring the acclaimed director Baz Luhrmann and a look at his early work, in particular the visual spectacle of Strictly Ballroom. Could be worth a shout. 11.35 Working Week: Youth Worker 12.30 Beat the Nation 13.00 The Great Pretenders 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Up Your Street 16.30 A Place in Greece 18.00 Friends 18.30 Hollyoaks 19.00 Channel 4 News 19.55 The Harsh Divide 20.00 Fairy Godfathers 21.00 Dispatches: Fit to Eat 22.00 Sex on TV 23.05 Naked World 00.40 NYPD Blue 01.35 Travels of a Gringo 02.35 Football: South American Championship 04.20 Trans World Sport 05.15 Countdown
SUMMER BALL Tickets now on sale The much anticipated line-up for the Summer Ball has been confirmed, with Liberty X, Peter Andre, Goldie Lookin’ Chain, Phixx and Trevor Nelson all appearing at the spectacle.
GAMES ROOM
Third Floor of the Students’ Union Open til 12am Mon-Sat, 10:30pm Sun Fully Licensed until 11pm. Sky Sports, Video Games Pool only 70p per game American Pool £1.70 per half hour and Snooker £1.40 per half hour.
Today in your Union
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Jeremy Vine Meets... 09.30 Now You're Talking! 10.00 City Hospital 11.00 Houses Behaving Badly 11.30 House Invaders 12.00 Bargain Hunt 12.30 Cash in the Attic 13.00 BBC News; Weather 13.30 Regional News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Diagnosis Murder 15.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 15.25 CBeebies: Tweenies 15.45 CBBC: Stuart Little 16.05 All or Nothing 16.35 Kerching! 17.00 Short Change 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Lou gets a big win. Surprise, surprise a soap character gets a lucky reprieve after financial hardship rather than getting their kneecaps shot by a mafia hitman. 18.00 BBC News 18.30 Wales Today 18.55 Party Election Broadcast by the Welsh Liberal Democrats 19.00 Brassed Off Britain 19.30 EastEnders It's the end of the line for Alfie, but will he get a last minute reprieve? I fucking hope not. 20.00 Trauma Being forced to listen to Alex’s excruciating R’n’B bollocks all evening. 20.30 Bailiffs 21.00 Dangerous Passions Bestiality with king cobras, crossing motorways blindfolded and sleeping with Sports Desk. 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 Dragon's Eye 23.05 Question Time 00.05 This Week 00.50 FILM: A Kidnapping in the Family
THE TAF Thirsty Thursday: Double Smirnoff and Red Bull £2.50