Interview
Page 14
November 7 2005
interviews@gairrhydd.com
LUCK OF THE IRISH
Amira Hashish discusses career, comedy and “classy” ladies with Patrick Kielty before he commences the Cardiff leg of his current tour
I
practice the art of talking on a regular basis. It can only be regarded as a compliment when people comment on my ability to speak for an excessive amount of time. Following a recent telephone conversation, however, I fear that I have a competitor for my You Could Talk For Britain title. One who is such a specialist in the field that he has made a successful career out of it. Thirty-four year old Patrick Kielty is best known for his work as a television presenter on programs such as or . His enthusiasm for the shows is evident. "I have never fallen out of love with stand-up though. It is always the first love," he says. His passion with his old flame has been re-ignited since embarking on his first UK stand-up tour. The comedian is frank about his decision to go back to his roots. "It got to the point where I over-dosed on stand-up comedy in my early years. Then I moved to England and did broadcasting work. The truth was that I wasn’t good enough at TV at the start. I wanted to get to a stage where I was comfortable and confident with what I was doing on telly before I moved back to the stage." The reaction to his latest venture has been surprising. "I think some people think they are coming to see a halfcobbled together gossip session. But I have actually taken four months off and written a proper one man show. Performing stuff which you have thought of and formulated is amazing."
competition with the prize of a keg of beer for Freshers’ week. I won the competition and it meant that all the way through university I wasn’t the quiet kid. Girls were looking at you in a different way. I realised that I was batting way above my average but I thought it was kind of cool. I wanted to push it far as I could and suddenly you find yourself being chatted up by Paris Hilton."
Patrick’s feelings on the subject of one P. Hilton
Kielty on his professional mental state Despite his obvious fondness of his career, this is not Kielty’s only passion. Another subject that continues to surface is his luck with the ladies. The chosen name for the tour is No Woman, No Cry. "You can either take it that I’m looking for a woman or you can take it that I don’t have a woman, therefore, I am not miserable" he explains when asked to elaborate on the title. He is the first to admit that his Irish charm is a temptation for females. "I don’t know what it is but American women seem to be a sucker for the Irish accent. There is also quite a bit of that in London. I moved to Chelsea. There are a lot of posh chicks there. It’s fantastic because they love a bit of rough." When asked whether that was precisely the reason he chose to live in the area he admits, "It’s not. But that is why I’m staying there." It is easy to appreciate why Kielty refers to his life as "weird and wonderful" when he adds Paris Hilton to his
PATRICK KIELTY: The Irish charmer certainly has a way with words list of female fans. "The ridiculousness of my job means you end up being invited to these bizarre parties. I am from a tiny village in Ireland and then you find yourself being chatted up by people like Paris." I ask him if "anything happened?" Considering what the vast majority of my male friends would do if in the single’s shoes, his response intrigues me. "The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead. She is not my type. She is cute; she is skinny; she dresses well. But when you put it all together it just doesn’t add up. It doesn’t get my rocks off." So has anyone caught his eye recently? "You imagine touring will be like a crazy rock experience. You see yourself on a tour bus surrounded by
women and doing more drugs than Pete Doherty. Then you realise that the reality is completely different. It is just you and your tour manager." I ponder as to whether his lifestyle has actually prevented him from being able to sustain a relationship. "I think that it’s hard to juggle a relationship in any career when someone is not going to be there all the time," he considers. "In a funny way that tends to spice things up though. I think that people have to deal with the insanity of being with a comedian. You are wired but not earthed. There is a veneer of sensibility that once you actually peel it away reveals a lot. You need to be crazy to stand on stage with the width of a microphone cable between you and up
to 1000 people saying, ‘here’s what I think is funny. What do you think?’ It is only a matter of time before people think, ‘I am seeing this guy and he seems really funny. But there is a difference between being funny for money and just being funny.’ My kid brother doesn’t even think I am one of the funniest people in my family.” The story of how Kielty became the person we see on stage is an appropriately humorous one. "University was really where I started out. I wasn’t one of these people that did a media degree and wanted to get into telly.” “I did psychology because there were 95 girls in my class. The lads in my house thought it would be a really good idea to enter me into a talent
It is not only Hilton that enjoys chatting to the cheeky chap. His job has seen him rub shoulders with some of the world’s most high-profile figures. "I hosted the opening ceremony for the Special Olympics in Ireland. That went live to nine hundred million. The best thing was that I got to bring Nelson Mandela on stage. The following morning I got a call from Mohammed Ali’s manager. Mohammed thought I was really cool and asked if I would go and meet him. My phone screensaver used to be me punching Mohammed Ali. More recently, I bribed some police men to let me backstage at the Pope’s funeral. So I have this really obscure screensaver of me next to the Pope." So what would make a stand-up superior at his job? Since talking to the expert I have learnt that it is essential to write your own material. The content is also of great significance. "The show isn’t just tittle-tattle. I think whenever you are from Northern Ireland you always have a political sense. But you have to remember you are doing a comedy show not a political lecture." The conscientious comedian remembers another one of life’s lessons, "Lean on the leg that shakes the most!" West End shows, American comedy festivals and more antics are on the cards in the near future. What makes this joker’s life so exciting, however, is the unexpected turns. "I was so surprised when Queen’s gave me an honorary doctorate last year. People tell me I should be ashamed of myself. Someone is looking for a cure for cancer in a research department while I am hosting that shite on TV. Yet, I have an honorary degree. The way I look at it is, whenever that someone finds a cure they will get that award. In the mean time people need a chuckle. Who better to give it to them than Doctor Kielty?" I couldn’t have put it better myself.