Television
October 25 2003
Page 26
grtelevision@cf.ac.uk
Friday 31 October BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Kilroy 10.00 Family Xchange 10.45 Bargain Hunt 11.30 House Invaders 12.00 Trading Up 12.30 Trading Treasures 13.00 BBC News; Weather 13.30 Regional News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Murder, She Wrote 15.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 15.25 CBeebies: Tweenies 15.45 CBBC: Arthur 16.10 Rugrats 16.35 The Ghosthunter 17.00 Blue Peter With the new single from Blazin’ Squad. Pfff! 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Max is devastated by Steph's decision to leave him. Pfff! Sky announces that she means to stay in Erinsborough. Hooray! 18.00 BBC News 18.30 Wales Today 19.00 A Question of Sport 19.30 Top of the Pops Undoubtedly going to feature completely awful hip hop moron/shouting man Fat Man Scoop and his “rambunctious” voice, whom my partner in musical crime Anna adores in abundance. 20.00 EastEnders 20.30 All about Me 21.00 Absolutely Fabulous “Absolutely Fucking Awful” more like. 21.30 Have I Got News For You 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 Max Boyce Down Under 23.25 Friday Night with Jonathan Ross With The Flaming Lips. Who can kiss my ass, even if my ass is enflamed as a consequence. 00.15 Meet My Folks 01.05 FILM: Roadflower ** 02.35 Joins BBC News 24
06.00 CBeebies: The Adventures of Spot 06.10 Brum 06.20 Fimbles 06.40 Tweenies 07.00 CBBC: ChuckleVision 07.20 The Lampies 07.30 Noah's Island 08.00 Newsround 08.05 CBBC Junior Great North Run Party 08.30 So Little Time 08.55 Fairly Odd Parents 09.20 Really Wild Show 09.45 Arthur 10.00 CBeebies: The Story Makers 10.20 Tweenies 10.40 Little Robots 10.50 William's Wish Wellingtons 11.00 Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons 11.25 Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons 11.50 Trade Secrets 12.00 Working Lunch 13.00 FILM: And the Beat Goes On ** 14.30 War Walks 15.00 Country House 15.30 Flog It! 16.30 Ready Steady Cook 17.15 Weakest Link 18.00 The Simpsons 18.20 The Simpsons Forty minutes of Halloween terror. 18.45 Scrum V Live: Neath Swansea Ospreys v Connacht One hundred and sixty five minutes of Halloween terror. 21.00 Timewatch: The Greatest Storm 21.50 Grumpy Old Men Saw a clip of this. Surely Will Self is too young to be an “old” man? Or is forty old these days? 22.30 Newsnight 23.00 Newsnight Review 23.35 Later with Jools Holland This week with the greased prat, John Cale and Jane’s Addiction. 00.35 The X Files 01.20 FILM: Rat Bizarre comedy in which a hard-drinking, Irish gambling man returns home from the pub one day and turns into a large white rat. Yes please. ** 03.00 Secondary Schools: English AS Guru: English I should think so too, given it’s an English guru.
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Pirate Islands 09.55 Seriously Weird This weeks mysterious “What the hell is this?” program. It’s occupying a key slot on ITV1’s daytime schedules so it can’t be that weird. Or even that serious. Misleading! 10.25 ITV News Headlines; Local News and Weather 10.30 Trisha 11.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 13.00 Today with Des and Mel 14.00 Love 2 Shop “Prefer 2 Puke” more like. 14.30 Moving Day 15.00 HTV News and Weather 15.15 Meg and Mog 15.20 Hilltop Hospital 15.30 What about Mimi? 16.00 You Can Do Magic 16.15 All Grown Up! 16.30 You Can Do Magic 17.00 I'm the Answer 17.30 I Want That House 18.00 HTV News and Weather 18.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 19.00 Emmerdale 19.30 Coronation Street 20.00 House of Horrors Sadly not about anything spooky or ghostly, but another crass documentary concerning cowboy builders and people who can’t do plumbing properly. 20.30 Airline 21.00 POW 22.00 Tarrant on TV 22.30 ITV Weekend News 23.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 00.00 FILM: The Glimmer Man 01.45 Hallowe'en Forever Ooooh unprecedented double helping of ...Forever this week. See Pick of the Week. 02.50 Entertainment Now! Back where it should be - after ...Forever. 03.15 Mixmasters 03.40 World Football 04.05 Today with Des and Mel 04.55 ITV Nightscreen
In Your Face S4C 11.45am
S4C
five
06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 The Hoobs 06.55 RI:SE 09.00 Planed Plant: Dennis a Dannedd 10.00 FILM: Train of Events *** 11.40 Exposed 11.45 In Your Face 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Planed Plant Bach: Sali Mali 12.40 Planed Plant Bach: Twm 13.00 Planed Plant Bach: Pot Mel 13.15 Fifteen to One 13.45 Fifteen to One 14.15 A Place in the Sun 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant: Uned 5 16.50 Planed Plant: Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy 18.00 The Salon 18.30 Gwobrau Tir Na Nog 19.00 Popcorn 19.30 Newyddion 20.00 Da 'Di Dil 'De An hour of fun and laughter in the company of Dilwyn Pierce and guests. Set your video. 20.30 Pobol y Cwm 21.00 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd Highlights of Romania v Namibia and France v USA. 22.00 Grand Designs 23.05 V Graham Norton 23.45 Dirty Sanchez 00.15 FILM: The Blair Witch Project **** One of my personal favourite films, although since nobody else likes it, expect me to be staying in to watch this on my own, all alone on Halloween, getting scared, maybe crying. Sniff. 01.45 Fashion House 02.15 FILM: The Wicker Man **** AND The Wicker Man in one night! Channel 4, with your ridiculous horrors you are spoiling us. You’ll be telling us there’s a spoof version of The Exorcist next... ooh look. 04.05 FILM: Repossessed **
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi-5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 08.55 MechaNick 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.20 Softies 09.25 Don't Blame the Koalas 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Terry and Gaby Show 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.30 BrainTeaser 14.35 FILM: Summer of Fear ** 16.25 Open House with Gloria Hunniford: Celebrity Special 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away 18.30 Family Affairs 19.00 five news 19.30 Mission to the Deep: 20.00 House Doctor 20.30 Dream Holiday Home 21.00 FILM: The Rookie With Clint Eastwood ** 23.20 Boomtown 00.15 FILM: Naked Souls With Pamela Anderson Lee. Erotic drama about an academic who denies his voluptuous girlfriend her pleasures and collaborates with a sinister millionaire in research into the human brain. When the scientist has the chance to further his studies into consciousness-transferral techniques, the enigmatic millionaire's offer of help lands him in dangerous waters. An appropriate film for Halloween then. ** 01.40 Roy Keane: As I See It 02.30 FILM: The Hand ** 04.10 Russell Grant's Postcards 04.25 Beverly
BBC3
ITV2
E4
SKY 1
CH 4
19.00 The 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19.15 Michael Hutchence's Rock Shrine 19.30 Fightbox 20.00 Celebdaq 20.30 EastEnders Revealed 21.00 Grease Monkeys 21.30 Absolutely Fabulous 22.00 EastEnders Moggymurderer Gavin has a nasty surprise up his sleeve for the Ferreiras. Gavin is a great character. You can have your gangsters, but true EastEnders bad guys are just horrible. Plus he likes early Manics, and so is obviously more than slightly psychopathic. 22.30 What Not to Wear 23.00 Trevor Nelson's Lowdown 23.30 Liquid Assets: Kylie's Millions ...come from her ass, and thus go back into said ass. Go away, you overrated tart. Although Confide In Me is still great. 00.30 Celebdaq 01.00 Fightbox 01.30 Get Staffed
08.15 Rugby World Cup 2003: France v USA 10.40 Planet's Funniest Animals 11.00 Sally Jessy Raphael 11.50 Judge Judy 12.40 Coronation Street 13.10 Emmerdale 13.40 Trisha 14.45 Trisha Extra 15.15 The John Walsh Show 16.05 Sally Jessy Raphael 16.55 Judge Judy 17.45 Movies Now 18.00 Coronation Street 18.30 Emmerdale 19.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 20.00 Planet's Funniest Animals 20.30 Pop Idol Extra 22.00 Harry Hill's TV Burp Good programme. “Ever noticed how soap characters start looking like their toasters?” 22.30 Coronation Street 23.00 Pop Idol Extra 00.30 Jerry Springer 01.20 Late Show with David Letterman 02.10 Teleshopping 03.10 Felicity 04.00 Trisha Extra
10.00 The Salon Live 17.00 Friends 17.30 Friends 18.00 Celebrity Five Go Dating 18.30 The Salon Live 19.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends Monica gets upset when Chandler gloats about sex. Piss off the both of ye! 21.00 Teachers 22.00 Wife Swap 23.05 Little Friends 23.35 V Graham Norton 00.15 Hollyoaks 00.45 The Salon 01.15 The Secret Life of Us 02.10 The Secret Life of Us 03.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years This week’s music-tastic recommendations: Saves The Day, Dashboard Confessional, Death In Vegas, Vic Twenty, Savage Garden, Sikth, The Black Heart Procession, Eels, Mogwai, Six By Seven, Busted, Electrelane, Caitlin Carey, The Handsome Family, Bardo Pond and their toothy lookalikes, and whatever shite Radio 1 plays in the moning.
06.00 Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Pokemon Advanced 08.00 Pokemon Advanced 08.30 The Simpsons 09.00 Gamezville 10.00 Little Monsters 11.00 Futurama 11.30 Malcolm in the Middle 12.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 13.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 14.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 15.00 Beverly Hills, 90210 16.00 Gamezville 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 18.00 Stargate SG-1 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons 20.00 Malcolm in the Middle 20.30 Malcolm in the Middle 21.00 Scare Tactics 21.30 Scare Tactics 22.00 Scare Tactics 22.30 Scare Tactics 23.00 Scare Tactics 23.30 Scare Tactics Sod the rest. SIX episodes of Scare Tactics in a row! Highlights include driving a limo into a minefield, and a seance that turns deadly. Fantastic. 00.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation
As S4C except: 06.00 The Magic Roundabout 09.00 Bewitched 09.30 Roseanne 10.00 Ed 10.55 Judging Amy 11.50 Exposed 12.30 Cheers 13.00 Water Stories 13.15 My Eden 13.20 FILM: ** 14.45 Fifteen to One 16.00 A Place in the Sun 18.30 Hollyoaks 19.00 Channel 4 News 19.30 20.30 Friends 21.00 Will and Grace 21.30 Scrubs 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Distraction 23.10 The Osbournes 23.40 Dirty Sanchez 00.10 Fashion House 00.45 Shriek Week FILM: The Hitcher Violent horror story about a driver who picks up a psychotic hitchhiker who engages him in a bloody game of cat and mouse. The hitcher just likes killing people and decides to set up his young driver as the fall guy for a string of horrific murders. Poor man’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre. *** 02.30 Shriek Week FILM: Ring 2 *** Apparently inferior sequal the original Japanese horror film. Although still complete weird.
Scare Tactics Sky 1 9pm
Friday 31 October