Television
Page 22
October 4 2003
ssugr1@cf.ac.uk
Friday 10 October BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Kilroy 10.00 City Hospital 10.50 A Service of Remembrance for Iraq 2003 12.00 Bargain Hunt 12.30 Judgemental 13.00 BBC News; Weather 13.30 News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Murder, She Wrote 15.20 BBC News; Weather 15.25 CBeebies: Tweenies 15.45 CBBC: Arthur 16.10 Rugrats 16.35 The Ghosthunter 17.00 Bring It On 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Karl tries to reassure Steph about her lump: “It was just a gratuitous grope.” 18.00 BBC News. 18.30 Wales Today; Weather. 19.00 A Question of Sport 19.30 Top of the Pops 20.00 EastEnders Fuck me, Stenders is boring. Why hasn’t Phil been shot and/or Sharon and Dennis arrested for (pseudo) ‘intimate incestual relations’? Instead we have feline fetishist Shirley traipsing around looking sullen and Yolande and Patrick making us sick. Bah, bring back Eldorado any day. 20.30 My Hero 21.00 Outtake TV Paul O’Grady presents beer-gut bellow session,with ‘hilarious’ clips from musty archives. 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 Friday Night with Jonathan Ross Bizarre guests are orally fixated Nigella Lawson, tired but recurrent Blur, there’s-something-wrongwith-him-but-I-can’t-tell-what Mackenzie Crook and smutty old Jamie Theakston, probably sporting a smug grin. 23.25 Meet My Folks 00.15 FILM: Convoy ** 02.10 Joins BBC News 24
06.00 CBeebies: Spot 06.10 Noddy 06.20 Fimbles 06.40 Tweenies 07.00 CBBC: ChuckleVision 07.20 The Lampies 07.30 Round the Twist Oh my god, have they started repeating this? I hope it’s not the one with the scarecrow under the bed; that gave me nightmares for weeks. Oh, actually there’s no way I’ll be up to watch it anyway. 08.00 Newsround 08.05 Noah's Island 08.30 CBeebies: The Story Makers 08.50 Binka 09.00 Tweenies 09.20 Little Robots 09.30 Fimbles 09.50 Teletubbies 10.20 Magic Key 10.35 Watch 10.50 Science Clips 11.00 Speak for Yourself 11.20 BBC Primary History 11.40 BBC Primary Geography 12.00 Working Lunch 13.00 Snooker 17.15 Weakest Link 18.00 The Simpsons 18.20 The Fresh Prince of Bel Air 18.45 Scrum V Live: Cardiff Blues v Leinster 21.00 Wild Down Under: Island Arks 21.50 Grumpy Old Men: Is This the World We Created? Series taking an in-depth look at men aged between 35 and 54, very probably the grumpiest sector of our society. Contributors including John Peel, Rick Wakeman, Will Self and Bob Geldof complain about such evils of modern life as body-piercing, fast food and call centres. Ah, call centres. The graduate jobcentre of choice. But surely their employees are the grumpiest sector of society...? 22.30 Newsnight 23.00 Newsnight Review 23.35 Snooker 00.25 The X Files 01.05 The X Files 01.50 Snooker Extra 03.00 AS Guru: Biology 1
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Trisha 10.10 Rugby World Cup 2003: Australia v Argentina 13.40 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 14.00 Everything Must Go! 14.30 Moving Day 15.00 HTV News and Weather 15.15 Tiny Planets 15.20 Hilltop Hospital 15.30 The Flintstones 16.00 You Can Do Magic 16.15 All Grown Up! 16.50 You Can Do Magic 17.00 I'm The Answer claims Dale Winton. To the question “Who is the most orange cocksucker on TV”, presumably. 17.30 I Want That House 18.00 HTV News and Weather 18.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 19.00 Emmerdale Debbie braces herself for a visit to the prison, while Cain tries to build some bridges with his daughter. 19.30 Coronation Street As Todd and Sarah try to repair their relationship, Nick issues a stark warning. Er, surely ‘the gay kiss’ is not actually his fault as he was asleep? 20.00 Tonight with Trevor McDonald 20.30 Airline 21.00 POW 22.00 Incredible Stories “It’s true, really, and when I woke up I had come in my hair and everything.” 22.30 ITV Weekend News 23.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 00.05 F1: Japanese Grand Prix Qualifying 01.20 Love Match 01.55 Dare to Believe 02.25 Entertainment Now! 02.50 CD:UK Hotshots 03.15 Mixmasters 03.40 Suede in Profile 04.05 World Football 04.35 Tonight with Trevor McDonald 05.00 ITV Nightscreen 05.30 ITV Early Morning News
Sex and the City S4C 10.30pm
S4C
five
06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 The Hoobs 06.55 RI:SE 09.00 4Learning 10.00 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd: Cymru v Argentina 13.45 Fifteen to One 14.15 Home from Home 14.45 A Place in the Sun 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant: Uned 5 16.50 Planed Plant: Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy 18.00 The Salon 18.30 Friends 19.00 Popcorn 19.30 Newyddion 20.00 Da 'Di Dil 'De dum de dum. 20.30 Pobol y Cwm 21.00 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd: Cymru v Argentina 22.00 Sex and the City. Big is back in town which forces Carrie to realise how important he is to her. Well, as I keep saying, size really does matter, and is enough to change any girl’s mind. Considering the extra large condoms I’ve just been examining, this comment falls in a particularly inappropriate moment. 22.30 Sex and the City. Charlotte falls pregnant, and Samantha's attempts to dye hair in an intimate place goes wrong. Ginger minge! 23.15 Peep Show 24.25 Fashion House 00.55 FILM: Up Pompeii *** The old-school terminology for up the arse. 02.30 Days of Thunder Racing 02.55 UK Supermoto Series 03.25 British Rally Zone 04.00 Brazilian Football Championship 05.20 Countdown
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi-5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 08.55 Barney 09.25 Floyd around the Med 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Terry and Gaby Show 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.30 BrainTeaser 14.35 FILM: Quest for Justice ** 16.25 Open House with Gloria Hunniford: Celebrity Special 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away Don is the victim of Alf's rage. Fisticuffs abound (and I doubt Alf will stop to use Vaseline). 18.30 Family Affairs 19.00 five news 19.30 Mission to the Deep: Raising the World's First Killer Sub 20.00 Ancient Murder Mystery 20.30 Psychic Secrets Revealed 21.00 MacIntyre UK Undercover: Who Cares for Granny? Er, I give up. 22.00 FILM: Savior *** 24.05 FILM: The Sergeant** 01.55 FILM: Mother Night *** 03.45 FILM: Simon, Simon **the misadventures of a gang of workmen driving a hydraulic platform truck. With cameos from Peter Sellers, Michael Caine, Eric Morecambe, Ernie Wise and Bob Monkhouse. This sounds wicked! 04.15 Russell Grant's Postcards 04.25 Beverly Hills 90210 05.10 Sons and Daughters 05.35 Sons and Daughters
BBC3
ITV2
E4
SKY 1
CH 4
19.00 The 7 O'Clock 19.15 The Best of Fame Academy 20.00 Celebdaq 20.30 EastEnders Revealed 21.00 What Not to Wear 21.30 What Not to Wear Tranny and Carthorse are back to get those who are lacking in style back to planet Vogue. And feel each others’ tits at the same time. Strangely unarousing, however, and more annoying. If they told me what to wear I’d tell them, very sincerely, to fuck off. 22.00 EastEnders As above. 22.30 Liquid Assets: Robbie's Millions I don’t care that he’s made money from being an arse. Take him away! 23.25 The Best of Fame Academy 00.15 Celebdaq 00.45 Stupid Punts 01.15 What Not to Wear 01.45 CCTV 02.15 Changemakers 02.45 The Best of Fame Academy 03.30 Celebdaq
09.25 Coronation Street 09.55 Emmerdale 10.30 Trisha Extra 11.00 Sally Jessy Raphael 11.50 Judge Judy 12.40 Coronation Street 13.10 Emmerdale 13.40 Trisha 14.45 Trisha Extra 15.15 The John Walsh Show 16.00 Pop Idol Extra 19.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 20.00 Coronation Street Secrets 21.00 18-30 Stoners Woo, is there a club for stoners? How do you join? What was I saying? 22.00 Great Escapes 22.30 Coronation Street 23.00 Coronation Street Secrets 00.00 Pop Idol Extra 02.50 Late Show with David Letterman 03.40 Teleshopping 04.40 Judge Judy 05.00 Movies Now 05.15 Rugby World Cup 2003: New Zealand v Italy
10.00 The Salon Live 17.00 Friends 17.30 The Salon Live 19.00 Smallville A cropduster claims that he observed more than just a meteor shower - endangering Clark's secret. Clark obviously got the wrong impression as to what ‘crop dusting’ was... 20.00 The Salon 20.30 Friends 21.00 Teachers 22.00 Wife Swap I stand corrected about my idea for husband swap - except that it was pointed out that straight men are all the same. I disagree: according to this programme, there are two sorts: the ones who embody sex, beer and on the dole, and the ones who clean and cook and perform cunnilingus (probably). Although I reckon their cleaning obsession is compensating for penises like button mushrooms. 23.05 The Pilot Show 23.30 Shock Video 00.05 Hollyoaks 00.35 The Secret Life of Us 01.30 The Secret Life of Us 02.20 Smallville 03.05 Teachers
06.00 Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 07.00 Zoids 07.30 Transformers: Armada 08.00 Gamezville 09.00 Beverly Hills, 90210 10.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 11.00 Angel 12.00 The X Files 13.00 Pop Years: 1998 14.00 Temptation Island 15.00 Beverly Hills, 90210 16.00 Gamezville 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation Picard tries to prove that even a machine has rights. Shit, let’s hope that my vibrator doesn’t join the revolution. 18.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons 20.00 Malcolm in the Middle 20.30 Scrubs 21.00 Dead Like Me 22.30 Mile High 23.00 Back to the Beach 00.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 01.00 The X Files 01.50 Titans 02.40 Pop Years: 1998 03.30 Cream 04.20 Family Guy 04.45 Family Guy 05.10 Guilty!
As S4C except: 09.00 Bewitched 09.30 4Learning 9.30 Twelfth Night 9.55 Book Box. 10.10 Spanish. 10.35 Spanish. 11.00 The Hoobs. 11.25 Design Challenge. 11.40 Design and Make it. 11.55 Life Stuff. 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Water Stories Today, a girl's lifelong obsession with otters. I couldn’t make this up. 12.40 Cheers 13.10 FILM: Chase a Crooked Shadow *** 14.45 Fifteen to One 16.00 A Place in the Sun 16.30 Home from Home 18.30 Hollyoaks 19.00 Channel 4 News 19.30 Conversations with Rowan Williams 20.00 Supercities UK 20.30 Friends 21.00 Will and Grace 21.30 Scrubs 22.35 Sex and the City 23.15 Peep Show 23.55 The Osbournes 00.25 Fashion House 00.55 Freesports on 4 01.30 Monkey 02.20 Tag 26 02.40 The Anatomists Gunther von Hagans. Wicked! 03.35 Brazilian Football
18-30 Stoners ITV 2 9.00pm
Friday 10 October