XMAS OP.ED
TIPS FOR A STRESS-FREE XMAS
CHRISTMAS = FAMILY!? ‘Family’ is defined in many different ways.* For many people in the GLBTQI community, family has a different meaning. In the Private Lives Report (2006) it states, ‘GLBTI friends rated most highly for all groups; and higher in every case than their biological families (with the exception of intersex respondents where family and community friends were rated as equally or more important).’ Family is socially constructed and how it looks and functions has changed over time, in particular the ‘closing off’ of families to outside influences through permanent housing structures and the deconstruction of village/community style living. This means that the family unit is now considered to be the heteronormative ‘mum, dad and kids’. A lot of people fall outside of this, in particular in our community, and for many reasons such as phobias — families aren’t able to accept the sexuality of their relatives or may struggle with gender variations (such as transgender or genderqueer) which can make Christmas uncomfortable for everyone; distance is also a contributing factor in this age of the global village. For me, family has two meanings; my beautiful mother, my daughter and my granddaughter, though they are often not within my reach at Christmas time; and my GLBTQI family where I often find myself at Xmas — and even if I do get time with my biological family I will usually spend time with my community as well. Live it up this Christmas, have fun, be loving and accepting of difference and think about including those who may not have ‘family’ around. Merry Queer Christmas :-) *(For the multiple definitions of family, check this webpage out http://ardictionary.com/Family/562) Pitts, M., Smith, A., Mitchell, A., Patel, S. Private Lives, A report on the health and wellbeing of GLBTI Australians, 2006 Latrobe University.
FUSE 16
{By Debbie Tonkin
Here are some handy tips for keeping stress-free during the crazy time of year.
Embrace the predictability The one good thing about Xmas stress is that it’s so bloody predictable. Unlike other types of stress that we encounter in life, we know exactly when it will start and when it will finish. Everyone’s in the same boat. However it seems, don’t imagine for one minute that others are floating around stress-free, because it’s just not happening kids — that’s just a movie.
Replace the word SHOULD with COULD The word ‘should’ can bring you a lot of grief. We should visit Auntie Millie; we should buy gifts for everyone; we should have a tree; we should go to that party. Try changing should to you could then do what makes you happy and what you want to do. Doing things out of duty and expectation will probably not bring you happiness, but only build resentment.
Know your limits Starting early and planning will always help things to go more smoothly. Remember, not everything has to be done all at once (or at all) and if things starting getting on top of you, stop and reassess what you’re doing and why. If you’re not enjoying yourself, you probably should not be doing it.
Do something different If you need a change, feel down or just bored with the whole Xmas thing, then do something different! This is an opportunity to do something that you haven’t before instead of just hating another Xmas. Christopher and I once flew out to Mexico on Xmas day — the flight was almost empty, we were treated like kings (queens) and it was not stressful. If you still have family obligations why not visit them Xmas Eve instead and spend the 25th with friends or your partner on the beach.
Just say NO! If you often wind up with too many activities and obligations and find yourself flapping because you don’t have enough time for your own things — just say no! Don’t feel you have to agree to everything. After all, the holidays are about relaxing with your family, friends and loved ones.
{By Alexander Thatcher