Post Saw X Analysis Over a Full 3 Course Chinese Sit Down Meal with Myself

Kelly: I'm Jacob Kelly and I'm with Jacob Kelly over at Jumbo City Restaurant in Chinatown. The Time is 2am on a Saturday morning. Liverpool is freakishly quiet tonight. There's a cold chill in the air. Most of its citizens are now in bed or grinding on people to Pony in a dingy club. Instead, Kelly is having a sit down 3 course Chinese meal and is going to discuss Saw X. The 10th film in the Saw franchise, for those who don't understand Roman numerals. He's a self-confessed Saw fanatic and he's itching to go. So, Kelly. Let's begin with that starter you're tucking in to. What got your attention there on the menu?

Kelly: Well, actually I ordered 2 starters

Kelly: Can you do that?

Kelly: Look my friend. Let's get one thing straight right now. I don't follow the rules

Kelly: Don't let Jigsaw hear you say that!

Kelly: Truthfully, I'm more the think outside the box type. Strahm pen to the neck. Hoffman face first in to the windows, you know?

Kelly: The master strategist? I don't think anyone could know how they would respond to a Saw trap until they were in one, right?

Kelly: I am an expert in escape. I would get out of any trap. Although, I have never been in a Saw trap. But I've seen enough. I did once put someone in a Saw trap though

Kelly: You put someone in a Saw trap?

Kelly: Yeah, I was at this gaff and things were slowing down, so I was like I'm gonna have me some fun. I made eye contact with this bird I knew. Told her to come to the side where it was quieter. Then I say, "you're in a Saw trap"

Kelly: You put a bird in a Saw trap?

Kelly: Yeah man. Pulled up the stopwatch on my phone and everything. Said you've got 3 minutes to get out

Kelly: But to be clear you didn't actually restrain this person or expose them to physical harm?

Kelly: No. No. Nothing like that. It was all power of suggestion. In the mind. Derren Brown shit.

Kelly: Did she... you know... get out the trap?

Kelly: Absolutely not. She couldn't figure out how she was trapped and it sent her in to a real existential crisis. Probably didn't help that I picked the one bird who'd been smashing the ketamine all night. And I'm there saying your whole life has led you to this moment. So she went in to a real hole and this trap really pushed her over the edge.

Kelly: What happened to her?

Kelly: She ran off to the toilets crying and her boyfriend's trying to keep up with her whilst she's screaming, "Kelly's put me in a Saw trap!". Next thing I know everyone's coming round wanting to know what's happened. Asking questions and one guy just goes, "Kelly's putting birds in Saw traps again"

Kelly: Again? Oh no. Habitual offender?

Kelly: I don't recall doing it before but I'm not saying I wouldn't do it again

Kelly: You had a taste of God, a taste of Jigsaw, and you want more?

Kelly: I'd definitely be more careful next time. In the end, I think her boyfriend put her to bed, then he comes back in and I'm asking if she's alright ready to apologise and that. And he just says, "It's all ok, but maybe don't do it again"

Kelly: Jesus Christ. And what's that thing you're currently chomping on? Appears to be some sort of dough ball

Kelly: This is Char Siu Bao

*He's chomping really loudly and messily and I can barely hear him speaking

Kelly: Char Siu what?

Kelly: Char Sui Bao.

Kelly: Ah Char Siu Bao, I think I've heard of it actually

Kelly: You were right, it's like a dough ball but on the inside there's some pork right there. You see? Just as a little treat. You're thinking this is fluffy. This is very good. And then BAM MARGERA, it hits you. Just gets even better. Really takes it up a notch. I'm a big fan of things that appear to be one thing and then like they switch it up. Really improves my day.

Kelly: And you often get this for a starter?

Kelly: Does Jigsaw not test the wicked?

Kelly: Good, Good. That brings us straight back in to Saw. Let's talk shop. I see you've put down the Char Siu Bao and you're rubbing your hands together

Kelly: Just Saw, isn't it? Gets me excited. There's nothing quite like it. I, Jacob Kelly, live for a good game of Saw. Like bring one out every year. Come Halloween, we need it. People get all like doesn't it get repetitive? And I'm like no, we watch football every week don't we? To me it's the same thing. To me it's more than a movie, it's an event. It's a game and John Kramers like Jose Mourinho

Kelly: John Kramers like Jose Mourinho

Kelly: Just mind games on top of mind games on top of mind games!

Kelly: Jumping way back. How was it you originally got in to this franchise?

Kelly: Must have been 2008, around the time Saw 5 came out. So that would make me what? About 12 or 13? Something like that. First time I watched it was back at Kevin Godley's place. First time I smoked a joint was with that man. One day he just goes, "Right today I'm going to buy some weed and if you want to smoke some you can, ok?". And like that we were on the road to becoming heroin users and ruining our lives because weed is an awful gateway drug that should never be touched. Maybe a bit of a fabrication there towards the end but yes fun times. There was Saw, there was joints, there was 2Pac and Biggie.

Kelly: And who's better?

Kelly: Who's better, what?

Kelly: Out of 2pac and Biggie?

Kelly: Oh come on, you can't ask that one

Kelly: I'm asking right now, come on

Kelly: Well, it's complicated isn't it. Biggie realised his potential. Made fun jokey pop rap. Had incredible flow cause he probably had lungs bigger than Willem Dafoe's cock. Nice beats and he's chatting about doing this and that in the bedroom. It's sexy, it's stupid. I like it. 2pac didn't realise his full potential but on paper he should be better. He was the more ambitious and serious of the two. I think his Mum was like a Black Panther or something. So when he started his lyrics had more weight but his production was fucking awful. Boring overused samples like ESG's UFO

Kelly: Didn't Biggie sample that too?

Kelly: Yeah but his slapped to be fair. Anyway, 2pac then met Suge Knight and just dumbed it right down. Basically just copied Biggie's style with that All Eyez On Me album.

Kelly: You don't like All Eyez On Me?

Kelly: It's got its bangers. Can't C Me goes hard. I love that George Clinton intro. The blind stares of a million pairs of eyes. Lookin' hard but won't realise. That they will never see the P! They're all jams though, which is fine but if it's just pop commercial dumb shit, I prefer how grotesque and satirical Biggie gets. 2pacs more blunt. But that's not to say it doesn't work on Hit 'Em Up. Not as good as Who Shot Ya, is it though? Biggie was definitely funnier. He dressed it up a bit. My favourite 2pacs are the early ones like Brenda's Got a Baby and Dear Mama. Bit more soulful.

Kelly: So?

Kelly: So, what?

Kelly: So who's better?

Kelly: For fuck sake.

Kelly: I want an answer now, 2pac or Biggie?

Kelly: Alright. It should be 2pac but it's Biggie. There you got it.

Kelly: What kind of answer is that?

Kelly: It's the best one you're getting. Anyway, I don't even listen to either of them that much these days. It would be Wu Tang Clan I'd pick up on a few months later that would change me

Kelly: So as you said, you were watching Saw movies, smoking that wacky backy and listening to 2pac and Biggie. What did you first make of the Saw films?

Kelly: I remember it well. I went round and we started off with The Exorcist, which weirdly enough I double billed with Saw X. They had The Exorcist director's cut on at the cinema for the 50th anniversary.

Kelly: And what do you think of the director's cut? I know a lot of people have their problems with it

Kelly: Flawed definitely. The original version is a masterpiece though. Blumhouse have tried to copy it time and time again but fail every time because their scripts are contrived. The beauty of The Exorcist is that it exhausts every possible thing. From science, to religion, to humour, to comedy, to the family unit, to child actor abuse. These days though it's come like Alien where I love the quieter moments. The Exorcist on his holidays. Karras moaning in boozers about losing his faith.

Kelly: Alright and what's the problem with the director's cut then?

Kelly: There's meant to be a few scenes added in the middle and if there is, I don't notice them. They don't bother me. The flash cut editing of the demons face. Doesn't bother me. The spider crawl is actually great, it's just wrongly placed. Generally the film does a great job of balancing the horror and comedy in a shocking way you don't see any more but that one isn't smooth at all. You get that spider crawl that catches you off guard and you start laughing. Then it goes in to that close up of Regan in bed with the brooding atmosphere. I don't like that. It's jarring.

Kelly: And the ending change?

Kelly: That's the worst part. The original has this mysterious ending where Father Dyer is looking at those stairs and for me that's the movie. As an observer was all this real or beyond our whole understanding. But they change it in the director's cut to something more hopeful with cinema addict Kinderman trying to get people to go the pictures with him again. Going for this "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship" type ending. Between the mystery and Casablanca, I pick the mystery. Talking of the mystery, I come out the cinema and you know what I seen?

Kelly: What?

Kelly: They caught 2pac's killer!

Kelly: That's mad.

Kelly: This life is strange.

Kelly: And so what did you make of the first Saw then back in 2008?

Kelly: You know what we actually started with the second one

Kelly: Was that not confusing?

Kelly: Considering they spend about 20 minutes each movie filling in the plot holes of the last movie, not that confusing

Kelly: That's the one in the haunted house, right? And what did you make of Saw 2 then?

Kelly: I was blown away from the opening scene. There was something so strong and disturbing and visceral about that reverse fly trap with the key behind the eye. These traps test us in the most primitive way. Both the character with survival and the audience for their tastes

Kelly: If I remember he doesn't even try to cut away at that eye

Kelly: He's a pussy. I hate the ones who don't even try. They deserve to die. Saw 2 even has that needle in the haystack with Amanda. One of the only ones that really makes me feel ill. That and the rack in Saw 3. Most repulsive hands down though is the pigs. It takes a mad mind to come up with something like that.

Kelly: None of this puts you off eating?

Kelly: I always eat when I watch Saw

Kelly: And what to you, Kelly, makes a good Saw trap?

Kelly: For me it’s not necessarily the most brutal ones but the audacity and weird pleasure you get from well-planned out and orchestrated ones that come together nicely

Kelly: When the emotional stakes are high? Do you have a favourite trap?

Kelly: Sure do. End of Saw 3 when there's that operatic Mexican stand-off going on. Jeff has a chain saw at Jigsaw's neck. Amanda's got a gun pointed at Jeff's wife. It's like this closed loop and they only improved on it in the later films by adding more people connected to this game. It's Hoffman's masterpiece really just designed to kill everyone off. He predicted all of it. I love that guy.

Kelly: He picked that up off Jigsaw in Saw 5 didn't he?

Kelly: He reads minds. He gets human behaviour. That smug face of his in the glass coffin is a classic.

Kelly: What did you do after watching the second one, go back to the first?

Kelly: No, we were too far gone by this point. It was on to the next one. Mid way through Saw 3, this other mate of ours appears with a shit mix

Kelly: Now that's a word I've not heard in time

Kelly: Proper kid thing to do isn't it? Like raid the parents secret cupboard and pour whatever in to a flask. No care as to the taste. How it comes out is how it comes out. You'd only do it now as a dare or something.

Kelly: Bring back the shit mix

Kelly: We've gone too far back in time now

Kelly: This is dangerous territory

Kelly: Was having the time of my life though between all these joints, the shit mix and watching Detective Matthews taking on Amanda

Kelly: That's a brutal brawl that one

Kelly: I love 3 for that, it's so obvious that Saw was always envisioned as a trilogy. They wrap up everything in that one. I love those scenes of Amanda and Jigsaw preparing the bathroom trap together

Kelly: Preparing the bathroom trap, which at this point you'd never seen?

Kelly: True but I just love the way it flows, the use of the music

Kelly: When did you go back and watch the first one?

Kelly: The next day. I got home having seen the 2nd and 3rd, downloaded them all off PirateBay on to a memory stick. Yes, this was 2008. Then I got in the bath and hit play.

Kelly: Hold on, you watched Saw in the bath?

Kelly: Yeah, I had this whole set up like Margot Tenenbaum. Used to watch Saw movies 'til I pruned

Kelly: You watched Saw in the bath?

Kelly: Come to think of it maybe it was like a Pontius Pilate thing. You spend so much time rolling about with these characters. All of them bad. Even the cops portrayed that way. The worst of the worst. The utter filth as they try to find some redemption. Maybe that's my attraction to the series in some ways. In the same way I'm in to Schrader and Peckinpah

Kelly: You are aware most people when they spice up the bathroom. They light up a few candles. Relax. Maybe get a bit romantic. That sort of thing, right?

Kelly: This is my romantic. This is my relaxation.

Kelly: Would a Saw fan understand this?

Kelly: A Saw fan would absolutely understand this.

Kelly: And how would you describe a typical Saw fan?

Kelly: Someone who enjoyed Seven but thought it wasn't enough and in some This is Spinal Tap way wanted to take it to 8. They dress like people in The Matrix with long leather jackets and maybe some steam punk goggles. They probably like industrial. Nine Inch Nails, Maybe Rob Zombie. Saws very Nu Metal as well isn't it? There was that Chester Bennington trap in Saw 7.

Kelly: It's funny you mention Nine Inch Nails, Saws composer was an ex-member of theirs wasn't he?

Kelly: Charlie Clouser my man. You know he got that theme from the creepy piano tune in Eyes Wide Shut?

Kelly: What?

Kelly: Yeah, just decided to keep that going faster and faster towards a climax. Everyone always talks now about the link between the torture porn cycle and the post 911 civil liberties that were abused at Guantanamo and that. I think Hostel was better for that cause of the xenophobic fear of the foreigner angle involved but I always liked how Saw seemed to tap in to the alternative cultures of the '90s and early 2000s. James Wan doesn't get enough credit for that. All those silly jarring handheld camera movements, the 360 spins, the blue/green colour filters. It could be a music video for any band from that period. This was when James Wan could be considered something of an artist and not the hack he is today. His films are so ugly and bland now.

Kelly: So there was a relevancy to Saw?

Kelly: Absolutely. The critics would avoid that but I think stylistically and visually it captured the culture of that time better than most films. Even in the most disturbing ways. Jigsaws selection of victims is massively outdated when you watch these back. He picks on the mentally ill, the drug addicts and the cutters. However, these were sadly things very much part of the alternative cultures back then so if anything it works in its favour giving it some authenticity. Even if it does give it a strange right wing conservative stance that critics would get lost in like they did with Halloween. As always, the critics take things too straight.

Kelly: Would you say there's a mythology to Saw?

Kelly: Mate, it doesn't even play by its own rules. It's a victim of having too many different writers after the first three. Originally, it was Leigh Whannel's baby but after that it was open season for anyone. It's one thing for one guy to have a controversial view but if there's many different people with different controversial and political takes, you've got no chance. If you start examining it in that way, you're going to get very confused quick. There's the whole personal thing that's something of a joke now. Jigsaw says to Hoffman like it can never be personal. It was personal when you put your doctor in a trap, it was personal when you put your child's killer in a trap, it was definitely personal when you took on the whole US health care system. They've even made the tagline for Saw X about it being personal. But then again maybe he means you can pick people close to you but you have to be a partial judge, I don't know.

Kelly: Like Judge Dredd?

Kelly: Indeed. It's very arrogant, it's very fascist. But hey, like most fascist things it's very entertaining on the big screen. I try not to get to in to that side any more. A lot of it only ruins it for me. I literally rewatched Saw 1 the other day. And the bathroom trap is meant to be this series masterpiece. And yeah the journeys fun. Adam and Lawrence have very homoerotic vibes going on. But there's a few things here that ruin it for me. If the game fails, Lawrence's innocent wife and kid have to die too? And why is Zepp involved? Wasn't he nice to Jigsaw in the hospital? All people say on this is that he bad mouthed his colleagues to John. So What? His colleagues were sleazy degenerates who treated their wives like shit, who cares? And what's with all the VS traps that came after Saw 4 where one person has to die? None of it seems fair to me. I don't mind Jigsaw having these outrageous politics, could they at least be more, you know, consistent? This is why I like Hoffman, he just rigs the shit out of it. He's just a straight up killer. Out to end his enemies. Nobody stands a chance. He's a parody of the whole thing. An absolute joker of the highest order.

Kelly: So what you're saying is the key to enjoying Saw is with tongue firmly in cheek?

Kelly: Definitely. Avoid the politics, embrace the procedural. That's my advice. One aspect they really got right with Saw 4 to Saw 6 was the format. Critics gave them a real kicking but I liked their avant-garde ways of being economical. Building sets that linked in to each other so they could quickly go from the game to the detectives trying to work out its location. Back in 2008 again, I have memories actually of when Saw 5 came out, I recorded it on TV (when people did that before on demand) and noticed when I put it on to watch it had already been watched. My father had snuck in a cheeky viewing as late night television, which is exactly what this is, late night television for the curious. A cure for insomnia. I guess there is a whole sleepless boredom voyeuristic aspect to it. Everybody has some form of fascination with the traps, hence how it got the name torture porn because they're like these musical numbers or money shots. There's a sort of peep show thing going on where you can't help put loiter and fade in and out.

Kelly: And what did Mr Kelly think of it all?

Kelly: I asked my father, what he had thought of it when I caught up with him. Because that man loves his action and hates his horror. Whilst he couldn't say he liked it, he was intrigued on some level. I think it has something to do with the procedural format. Despite, being this repeated October horror release, it's not your typical slasher from the 80s with lots of sequels. Instead, it has more in common with your cop shows and Giallos. That could well be an attraction for me, it's definitely as though they expanded on movies like 10 'til Midnight and Seven. Like Hercule Poirot you have to work out where the games are being played and what the twist is going to be each time. I get high on the montage of all the clues and theme song in the climax. Even more so than the individual traps.

Kelly: So when it comes down to it, you prefer the overall games to the individual traps?

Kelly: it's like when people say are you an ass man or a tit man? I'm the whole package man.

Kelly: I notice you moved on to a second course there. What is that you're eating now? They look like those aliens you could buy from the corner shop as kids.

Kelly: This is Hargau.

Kelly: What's Hargau?

Kelly: Hargau is prawn dumplings. It's said to be the one where the skill of the dim sum chef is judged on.

Kelly: And is it good?

*Kelly throws another one in to his mouth just to be sure

Kelly: Very good

Kelly: Jumbo City dim sum chef has got the Kelly seal of approval. Colossal. Ok, so we've gone through most of the franchise there. The politics, the aesthetic, the format. Growing up with the franchise, watching them when you probably shouldn’t have been. What was the first you saw in the cinema?

Kelly: Sadly that would be 2017s Jigsaw. I could never bring myself to not like a Saw movie. It's just never happened. But this one is definitely the worst. Narratively speaking it just doesn't work. Why is he designing such elaborate traps before the beautiful simplicity of the bathroom trap? What the fuck is the bike trap?

Kelly: Consensus is that either the worst is Saw 7 or Spiral, right?

Kelly: 7s got the pink blood. The gimmicky 3D. Gordon's long waited return. The love triangle. Jill getting her vagina rammed. Has a very misogynistic streak come to think of it. But most importantly, it's got Chester motherfucking Bennington in a trap that JG Ballard would approve of

Kelly: And what could possibly be your defence of Spiral?

Kelly: Alright, you got me there, I think that was a case of the conditions I watched it under.

Kelly: Those being?

Kelly: That was a red wine drunk job. Oh no, I just remembered I think I pissed off many people that night. Might have severely misbehaved

Kelly: Not again

Kelly: Come to think of it, Saw has a real habit of getting me in to trouble

Kelly: It certainly seems that way

Kelly: It's like Bukowski said, "find what you love and let it kill you", except I find what I love and let it kill my friends

Kelly: Some people just can't handle Saw. They should illegalise it because of people like you. Maybe you never matured enough to watch Saw. Maybe that's the secret to sticking with Saw. Once you become mature enough to watch it, you no longer want to watch it. You lose all interest

Kelly: It activates a part of my body that just triggers mischief. Saw is for the young dumb and full of cum

Kelly: So what happened at this screening of Spiral?

Kelly: It's probably better left unsaid. I hardly even remember. I went to the cinema with a long-time friend Jesse Welles. Had a personal bottle of wine. Chuckled my way through Chris Rock's stupid facial expressions. Came out, went the pub for a few pints. Then Jesse says to me there's this gaff happening that we should go to. Don't really know the people there so well but I'm one bottle of red and about 3 pints in and need to party so I agree to go down there. I get another bottle of red from the shop on the way and head there. Barely 5 minutes in to getting there, Jesse Welles makes his typical early departure. Literally once the clock strikes 1am he leaves any party like he's got to make his parents curfew.

Kelly: I think it's you that needs a curfew

Kelly: You may be right there

Kelly: Why you don't come in a box with a list of rules like a Gremlin, I don't know. God did us no favours there

Kelly: Kind of wishing I did make an early exit too now.

Kelly: In life or that party?

Kelly: Both. I outstayed my welcome definitely. I'm sorry but if you leave me in a gaff with a bunch of people I don't know too well when I'm 2 bottles of red, 3 pints and 1 screening of Spiral: From the Book of Saw in and there's going to be trouble, ok?

Kelly: A saw fan would understand?

Kelly: They would. Made a right fool of myself. Almost got in a fight with this guy that I was trying to tell had pissed me off severely but I did not plan on fighting him. Somehow telling him I wasn't looking to fight him provoked the situation more to nearly fighting him. Sometimes you should just keep quiet, yeah?

Kelly: You're telling me.

Kelly: Words definitely failed me that evening. In fact, I've probably spoken about 5 words to Jesse Welles since that night.

Kelly: Christ Saws opened up a whole bag of history up here from 2008 to the present day. I see you're now on your final course there. Can you let us know what you are nibbling at?

Kelly: Stir fried beef in satay sauce with egg fried rice.

Kelly: A regular choice?

Kelly: Not exactly. Although, I do tend to stay in the same ball park of beef. Mix it up with some black bean now and then maybe some mushroom or peppers. Before all this I was usually in a toss up of lemon chicken or sweet and sour chicken. These days though, there's something about beef.

Kelly: What's beef?

Kelly: Beef is when you need 2 gats to go to sleep.

Kelly: You have walked me through your Chinese meal selection, now walk me through Saw X

Kelly: When I saw the good reviews, I didn't even know what to think. Saw getting good reviews now? Have I departed planet Earth? Very surprising. Question was had they made a thriller as good as the first or had they toned down the violence to be a dish the critics could handle. Maybe even some winky humour? Had time caught up with Saw?

Kelly: You weren't overjoyed?

Kelly: Cautious and intrigued would be the right words. Living in a world where Saw is accepted is slightly worrying. Not because I don't think it should be accepted. Not because I think people should dislike Saw. Simply because if it's being accepted that means it's not shocking and that makes it pointless in my eyes. But either way the producers definitely exploited the success well with a kind of reverse marketing. That I admired.

Kelly: What beverages were required for this one? What was the preparation? Was Jesse Welles invited?

Kelly: No Jesse Welles this time. Was a Jason Derulo job. Booked a screening for 11pm with the Odeon recliners. Had to go for that late one so I could fit in The Exorcist too. Got a 10 pack of Bierra Moretti in, had a couple watching Jeremy Saulnier's debut Murder Party back at mine. Went full Rambo reviewing and stuffed 4 cans in my jacket. Ordered 2 Heinekens and a nachos with jalapenos and cheese. Watched The Exorcist. RIP Friedkin. Came out, got the waterworks out the way. Re-stocked up with another 2 Heinekens. Heard a guy on the way to the till say The Meg 2 was rubbish, nearly struck him down with the kind of deadly blow that led to life in prison for the poor Cameron Poe. Realised he was absolutely clueless when he brought up why his other recent trip Expendables 4 was a disaster. Expendables 4 was bad because of all the green screen and the AI approach to the script

Kelly: How did you restrain yourself from using deadly force?

Kelly: There's no need to strike a man when his own words killed him. Karma meant that I didn't have to intervene. He said Expendables 4 was bad because the last 15 minutes was just a shootout. In an action movie? No way! Still can't believe he said that as well like shootouts are inherently bad. Restraining myself from screaming, "go watch the fucking Wild Bunch you freak!", I grabbed my Heinekens and walked over to the 11pm late night Saw showing. Got the recliner up and noticed there weren't too many people around me. No-one in the seat next to me so I put that recliner up too, flicked the shoes off and stretched out across the two.

Kelly: Saw, the way it was meant to be watched. Your thoughts on act one?

Kelly: Mixed here. There's a clear departure from the usual format with it being Jigsaw seeking out alternative medical treatment with less than a year to live. It's all told chronologically too rather than in typical rapid flashback. His so called trusted sources from legitimate doctors telling him all he can hope to do is die well. So our games master has to find risky underground alternatives. Saws got to be one of the funniest indictments of the American health care system. Fellas, get an NHS, I beg you. We're definitely back in Saw 6 territory with that one. Oh and you know how Saw is famous for its blue and green filters? You're never going to guess what filter they used for Mexico

Kelly: Fuck sake

Kelly: Another thing that made me laugh was Jigsaw telling the doctors he's a "life coach" now. I'd have loved to see him select that under profession under a medical form. Would have been a way better joke come to think of it

Kelly: The critics were right so far?

Kelly: So far the critics had mainly pissed me off. It's typical of them to praise bland character development over abandonment of the fun of the form. I'm happy in some ways they do switch it up a little at first as there is a strange immediacy to the set-up of John seeking this medical help urgently with time running out

Kelly: No game running at the same time? No detective work?

Kelly: Nope. Just a man realising The Hollies greatest reminder, all he needs is the air that he breathes. It was like Man on Fire though when you're totally fine with them taking their tame and going lighter at the start because you know when the turn comes in, to quote Jigsaw himself, "there will be blood". I do think though they should have made a greater effort to stylise the scenes more. Occasionally, it just comes off as a second rate drama. Doesn't flow like Saw 3 does beautifully with its messy flashbacks.

Kelly: Doesn't flow beautifully like Saw 3s messy flashbacks?

Kelly: I like the messy flashbacks! But yes, completely standard that the critics would praise conventional routine 'depth' and ignore stylisation. More information is great but when you present in a way that’s flat, then who cares? Horror movies never really get praised for their forms of storytelling and to me Saw always had its own way of storytelling. Crosscutting between games, detectives working out the location of the games and messy flashbacks explaining plot holes from 3 movies back

Kelly: What's the added depth?

Kelly: The try to humanise the monster. And you wonder is that the right thing to do? Guess revealing more shades and that is good but don't get clumsy and they do occasionally here. You can reveal his desperation and flawed mentality without praising it. In the middle section, Amanda makes her return

Kelly: The woman herself. How did that go?

Kelly: Strange feelings here. They have these intimate scenes together where they discuss the game itself taking these little half time breaks from the traps for motivational team talks. Naturally, there's a lovely drug addict involved who really shouldn't be there but you know how Jigsaw is with drug addicts

Kelly: He hates them like Anakin Skywalker hates sand!

Kelly: Loathes them. This addict obviously gets Amanda's attention and causes confusion in Jigsaw's leadership and goals. Whilst I'm happy to see more of this fatherhood/mentor relationship between Jigsaw and Amanda, I can't help but think calling Saw X one of the best is absurd considering so much of this had been done already in Saw 3. Same material and better stylised!

Kelly: So I take it John's operation to remove his tumour doesn't go well

Kelly: Correct

Kelly: And all quacks get put in a Saw trap?

Kelly: Correct again

Kelly: Any good new characters?

Kelly: I can tell you the most disappointing is Parker Sears. Mainly because I feel we need to move on from John and I'm always on the lookout for potential apprentices to lead the mission and carry on the work. When Sears first arrives, they weave in this interesting angle that's almost Batmanesque. He plays another supposedly wronged patient looking for retribution. It's complicated territory for a filmmaker. You have to try to present these two competing ideas. Essentially, what is different between vigilantism and Jigsaw's method. Jigsaw refers to his work as re-awakening not retribution. I think they should have changed it so that Sears was more supportive and they could have shown him torn between the gun and the trap. Could have had future accomplice in the making there too with Jigsaw having sympathy for what Sears went through. Imagine you were wronged by these people and someone who was also wronged kidnapped them for you and went to work on them. Wouldn't you respect that in some odd way?

Forming some weird bond with Jigsaw? And then you could also show whether this guy would deem it too far? I like those kinds of relationships in movies. Something bound not by shared admiration but by debasement. That tends to interest me. Goes back to human nature with relationships forming out of trade deals rather than anything positive. Not friendship but what does this person have that I need?

Kelly: But they don't go this way with it?

Kelly: No, not at all. Firstly, instead of showing the situation as desperate to account for the mistakes in Jigsaw's thinking, they make him appear all high and mighty and there's a God like arrogance to it. It's laughable really, critics praising this one for 'depth' and all that really means is they've tried to be smarter and been dumber in the process. Taking attention off the games and on to Jigsaw's logic which they still can't perfect so should be left alone. I firmly believe that if you're going to be this sloppy with the character just get the game right minimum and if it’s a good thriller, we'll praise that. Well, I will. They ruin Sears further by then throwing in a twist

Kelly: A twist? Go on

Kelly: More of a turn than twist or at least a first twist before the main one. He's no victim. He's actually fucking the hot blonde dodgy doctor Pederson. Abandons the strand that was more interesting for me. Does get funny though because when he frees his beloved quack and then puts our man Jigsaw in a trap!

Kelly: Role reversal?

Kelly: The sadist becomes the masochist. Jigsaw the super sub. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer! This is when things get really good and I started to have some fun. That hot blonde dodgy doctor Pederson sees Jigsaw's mate he made when he was a the hospital, a little boy who loves playing football. In a wholesome scene earlier, the DIY handyman Jigsaw fixes the kids bike. Hot blonde dodgy doctor Pederson drags this kid in to the warehouse and I was like I think I know where this is going. Ok, you had my curiosity, now you have my attention. Literally pressed the recliner down, put the drink holder tray to the side and leaned forward. They were going to put a child in a Saw trap

Kelly: They put a child in a Saw trap?

Kelly: They put a child in a saw trap. You think Saw 2 was bad for it with Detective Matthew's nefarious nipper. This is a whole new level. They put a child in a Saw trap

Kelly: Hold on a minute. They put a child in a Saw trap?

Kelly: They put a child in a Saw trap

Kelly: Can they do that?

Kelly: I believe they did

Kelly: How was that?

Kelly: Loved it. Jigsaw and this have to waterboard themselves with blood to stay alive. Probably the most directly referring back to Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib trap I've ever seen. The idea behind this one is you can either pull the leaver and tilt the board and take all the blood and choke to death or you can share it and both survive. Jigsaw says to the innocent football loving kid, do not under any circumstances pull the leaver. Amanda gets all emotional as this means Jigsaw is going to take it all and die sparing this kid any pain. But this kid sees Jigsaw is taking all the suffering, decides to pull his own leaver and take some of the burden. This act is what saves them both. Honestly, this back 2 back action might be some of the best buddy cop shit I've seen in cinema history. Jigsaw and a child, back 2 back like Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. One of my favourite moments in the entire series that. Can't remember the last time I was so engaged in a trap. When Jigsaw got out and said to the kid, "you are a warrior", I felt that, I was ready to go insane. I was ready to go full It's a Wonderful Life and start doing laps of the cinema screaming, "Merry Christmas, everybody!". My faith in life had been restored, I was ready to live again.

Kelly: Wow

Kelly: Can't believe the hardest character in the entire franchise is now a child

Kelly: Incredible. Thoughts on the overall game and the actual twist?

Kelly: I don't think they've come up with a good game since Saw 7

Kelly: That was what, 3 movies ago?

Kelly: Yeah and you know how it is with me, it's like Triple H said, "It's all about the game". They're too stop start these days. They're too absorbed by individual traps and not the overall game. In the past, it's been because they're struggling to rework the format because they didn't have a bad guy and had to explain Jigsaw's absence. They fell lucky after the third one because they went straight in to Hoffman, he stepped off that ice block and was able to take the reins and they kept working it well with Jill and Gordon. They set 4 at the same time as 3 and that all made sense. However, after Hoffman, they've not found anyone adequate like Star Wars after Darth Vader. Except its worse cause its actually ruined the entire structure of the movies since. They can't flow like they should because they're keeping identities hidden and only revealing them last minute detracting from the games and the overall mischief. Was better when you knew it was Hoffman and he had these head to head matches will Jill and Strahm. They were box office

Kelly: So what's the issue here? Shouldn't that all be fixed if they've got Jigsaw back here?

Kelly: Not enough tapes. Not enough rooms. Not enough Billy. Too many timeouts for team talks on the sofas. It's amusing but it doesn't flow. The trailer flowed really well with a near psychedelic leaning through The Hollies. Where was that?

Kelly: They don't play The Hollies in the film?

Kelly: Disgraceful isn't it. As for the twist? It's obvious just like it was obvious in Spiral. In Spiral, there's that classic rule of if you don't see them die, they don't die. Therefore, by process of deduction, it's easy to pick out who's organising the games. It's a cheat. Not the worst cheat in cinema history, that goes to A Perfect Getaway, which features a scene where the killers discuss being stalked by the killers. Saw X isn't quite a cheat but it's a technique you've seen before.

Jigsaw testing that taxi driver separately to the main game? That's always going to mean something otherwise you wouldn't waste the time to do that narratively.

Kelly: So you just know he's coming back?

Kelly: If you don't see them die, they don't die. And if you see them live, if you see them take time to show something separately from the main plot it's probably for a reason. There is no time wasting in film. Next obvious clue is hot blonde dodgy doctor Peterson's trap being designed for two people. Also, the thing you need to know about doctors in this series is they all have affairs and those who are connected to them are happy to spill their guts about said affairs (we saw this in Saw 1 with Zepp). It was clear all along Jigsaw knew this was coming and had sort of planned for it even if he has to adapt.

Kelly: You don't got to be Hercule Poirot to figure it out?

Kelly: You do not. A few notes on the ending though. Jigsaw takes back the money these quivering quacks stole. He makes out like he's going to give to all to the kid. As much as I'd love to see that warrior take home some prize money, I think Jigsaws keeping some of that. It would explain this massive plot hole in how he's always afforded so many massive warehouses

Kelly: He's dying, maybe he just put his life savings in to them?

Kelly: Maybe. But properties aren't cheap these days. If you didn't notice, we're in a cost of living crisis!

Kelly: But this is a prequel and so before it?

Kelly: True. No way these gaffs have ever been cheap though surely! Regardless, some will be disappointed that the hot blonde dodgy doctor lives to tell the tale and looks unchanged, revealing the cracks in Jigsaw's system. There was something about the ending though that I did like where you felt the sense that this storyline could be continued. I never got that impression with Jigsaw and Spiral. They're like standalones. I want to go back to having an idea they can run with for like 3 movies. Even if it is what I like to call cock tease storytelling

Kelly: Cock tease storytelling?

Kelly: Yeah cause they basically work to set up the next few movies and proper drag out developments. It's a Lionsgate specialty. When it comes to Saw, I love that cock tease storytelling

Kelly: Wait. What happened to that other cameo? You mentioned Amanda but I heard there was another one?

Kelly: That's the real twist, baby! It's a post-credits job. I'd waited the whole movie for that. Before he came out, I was chanting to myself to make him appear, "If you build it, he will come. If you build it, he will come. If you build it, he will come". It being the Saw trap and he being Detective Mark Hoffman. When he finally rocked up, I morphed in to WWE commentator Jim Ross, screaming manically, "Oh my God!".

Kelly: Brought out the teenage boy in you?

Kelly: Young, dumb and full of cum. That reminds me. Guess who I ran in to the other week?

Kelly: Who?

Kelly: Kevin Godley. I'm in the Jack. This was a couple of weeks before my rendezvous with Doctor Zira. So, Kevin Godley's there with this bird. No idea who she is, I've never met her. To blow my head off he actually sends this bird over to me first who keeps saying my name. My mental database draws blank. Have to tell her, "sorry, I can't place you, how do you know me again?". Then KG taps me on the arm and has a cheeky smile on his face. I'm shocked. Haven't seen this guy in years. We're reminiscing over the old days. Then I get back to the present by asking about this woman he's with. I ask, "Who's this then? I always remember you had a different girl back then? This a new one?". He then informs me he's still with the other one and then gives me a funny look. The girl then makes a hasty exit and KG has to scramble on out after her without even saying goodbye

Kelly: What? Wait. Oh.

Kelly: Yeah. I think so. But who knows. Hope I didn't cause a problem

Kelly: Saw getting you in to trouble again

Kelly: Yep. Once again

Kelly: I think I'm starting to get your obsession with Saw now. You love its characters because you are as corrupt as them. Birds of a feather. And one day you will be tested

Kelly: Jigsaw will have to catch me first

Kelly: For all our sakes, we pray that he does. That concludes our interview. Times nearly 3am. What are you going to do now?

Kelly: Probably get some biggie on in the headphones. I'm thinking Hypnotise Then I'm gonna float the shop, get some more cans in, maybe some more scran, then I'm gonna get back to mine, get Saw 5 on and take it back to 2008. Cause they just don't make them like Detective Mark Hoffman any more...

Director: Kevin Greutert

Screenplay: Josh Stolberg, Peter Goldfinger

Cinematography: Nick Matthews

Music: Charlie Clouser

Production Company: Twisted Pictures

Distribution: Lionsgate

Country: USA

Run Time: 118 mins

Budget: 13 mil

Plot Synopsis: Given less than a year to live and no hope of a cure, a desperate John Kramer seeks out alternative treatment in Mexico. When the operation is not completed and his money stolen by quacks, the trap master lays out a deadly game for those who wronged him

Bonus Points:

-The eye suction trap

-The immediacy as a result of the structural change

-Wholesome Daddy Jigsaw looking after the kids and fixing bikes for them

-More Amanda/Jigsaw fatherhood mentoring

-"We have a rope"

-Putting a child in a Saw trap

-Waterboarding a child

-Jigsaw and the child back 2 back like Mel Gibson and Danny Glover

-"You are a warrior!"

-The Return of Detective Mark Hoffman

Overall Score: 3.5/5