Kung Fu Kelly Returns

Kelly: Get the Big Gun blaring because we have us not just a great action movie but perhaps the greatest action movie of the last 20 years. With me to talk you through the latest John Wick, our action afficionado, Mr Sheldon Coltrane.

Sheldon Coltrane: Yeah, I'm thinking I'm back.

Kelly: He said it. He's back. With a vengeance. Let's start at the beginning with John Wick 1. Something of a sleeper hit, right?

Sheldon Coltrane: It caught me by surprise.

Kelly: I think it caught us all by surprise.

Sheldon Coltrane: We got the action star who was promised to us back in '99.

Kelly: We got a word for that yet?

Sheldon Coltrane: Not to my knowledge. But I'm sure there is one out there somewhere.

Kelly: The Keanussaince? I'm here for it. He's sort of had a couple of phases hasn't he. Started off life as a stoner guy didn't he?

Sheldon Coltrane: Owen Wilson is like wow. Keanu is more like woah.

Kelly: Nailed on hahaha.

Sheldon Coltrane: I'm a fan. Who isn't? You know when Bill and Ted came out the critics didn't think too much of it.

Kelly: Yeah. It was more embraced at drive ins wasn't it.

Sheldon Coltrane: The people's champion.

Kelly: The streets still remember Bill and Ted. A really odd genre crossing teenage comedy. In a way, it reminds me of Night at the Museum. Gotta respect any film that makes the idea of doing homework fun for the kids. Cause that's what they're doing at the end of the day, aren't they?

Sheldon Coltrane: I don't know anything about that. My dog used to eat my homework.

Kelly: Ah one of them, hey?

Sheldon Coltrane: I would sell people excuses. School had my attention 9 til 3.30, no chance they were getting it any time after that. School was all books, not enough practice for me.

Kelly: Can't say I was one for homework either. Once when I was about 17 or 18, I decided I was all out of excuses. Excuses were for kids. So, I was just going to be honest and tell this teacher the truth. He was an adult. I was an adult. What was the worst that could happen?

Sheldon Coltrane: Guessing he didn't take your revelation well.

Kelly: He asks me, "where's the homework?". Told him I hadn't done it. He asks, "why?". Said, "cause I couldn’t be arsed, mate". Not too sure what I was thinking with that but this guy lost the fucking plot. Big time. He was raised in the times of the cane and he looked like he wanted to use it. Used to talk to me about seeing Charlie Chaplin movies at the cinema, so you can tell where he was at mentally.

Sheldon Coltrane: Different times.

Kelly: Indeed. He kicked me out of that class and literally frog marched me in to some empty room. Odd guy. One time I decided to swerve his lesson entirely and he came looking for me in the common room.

Sheldon Coltrane: Well...?

Kelly: Well what?

Sheldon Coltrane: Were you there?

Kelly: Sure enough. Never banked on him hunting me down like that.

Sheldon Coltrane: Some freaks are committed like that.

Kelly: Definitely. After a while I had to say to him, "Look, mate. I'm only doing this cause I had to pick 4 subjects and if I had the choice, I'd have done just 1. Now give me a break".

Sheldon Coltrane: This guy must have really hated you.

Kelly: Well, that's the weird part. He didn't apparently. Few years later, a friend of mine, Jimmy Pomeranian aka Wayne Cramp, was working with him and he was asking about me this guy. Said I was always honest and possessed a knowledge of film beyond my years.

Sheldon Coltrane: I'd have probably put your lights out. Clip round the ear. Sounds like a geek to me with all that Charlie Chaplin business.

Kelly: I was always more of a Keaton man.

Sheldon Coltrane: All a bit too old for me. Way, way, way before my time.

Kelly: Keaton was the first action star though. Have you seen the stunt work in The General?

Sheldon Coltrane: Never thought about it that way.

Kelly: The dude broke his neck and just carried on his career for years 'til a doctor was like, ay you know your necks broken.

Sheldon Coltrane: Respect hahahaha.

Kelly: Deftones detour Back in School aside, have you ever seen Freaked?

Sheldon Coltrane: No, I haven't actually.

Kelly: You should give it a go. Same kind of stonery vibe as Bill and Ted. Both Keanu and Alex Winter are in it.

Sheldon Coltrane: Both of them? Wow. Oh wait no. I meant, woah.

Kelly: Reunited, we all excited. Came not too long after but more geared to a '90s MTV crowd. Surrealistic monster jam too.

Sheldon Coltrane: Sounds cool. I'll be sure to give it a go. See if it still holds up. Freaked?

Kelly: Yes. I'm sure you've seen Point Break and Speed

Sheldon Coltrane: Stone cold classics.

Kelly: What did you think to his British accent in Dracula?

Sheldon Coltrane: The less said the better.

Kelly: Hahaha bless him. He was trying.

Sheldon Coltrane: Some would say not hard enough.

Kelly: Did you see Coppola said not too long ago, he knew the accent was shit on set but didn't have the heart to tell him.

Sheldon Coltrane: I can believe it. Hollywood's nicest man.

Kelly: It's no wonder that My Own Private Idaho is getting even more respect now than it did in the '90s. The Letterboxd LGBT corner do seem like they're discovering that film.

Sheldon Coltrane: I have noticed it getting, I want to say re-appraisal, but it was always liked. It's just getting more liked.

Kelly: If it came out today, it would be huge. I could see a best picture win like Moonlight got.

Sheldon Coltrane: Sure. Not really my cup of tea but you're right, it would be massive.

Kelly: Thoughts on Johnny Mnemonic?

Sheldon Coltrane: I guess it was like training for The Matrix. Robert Longo isn't The Wachowski Brothers but it was like cinema testing out whether it could match the literary worlds of William Gibson. See if they could have a good relationship. Longo wasn't the man but it had to be done. Someone had to take from those books and say this is where the '90s is going. This is what we're building towards.

Kelly: But Keanu was the right man to do that?

Sheldon Coltrane: Absolutely.

Kelly: I don't think the importance of Keanu to The Matrix is talked about enough. When things would get complex and you had Lawrence Fishburne giving out those elegant sermons, Keanu was the perfect foil to that. In effect, he was the audience, he was us.

Sheldon Coltrane: A toned down dumb guy just going woah.

Kelly: Exactly. He found a way to merge that stoner persona of his youth and channel that in to his action heroes. He didn't transform over night or change his whole act.

Sheldon Coltrane: You've mentioned this before with Schwarzenegger in the '80s and what Dave Bautista is doing now. I wonder why it's not used more as a way in. A way to make the material more accessible and fun. Stick a dumb guy in there and somehow everything comes together, right?

Kelly: It's a completely underused role. I don't know why it's not common practice. Any of his post-Matrix and pre-John Wick films you like?

Sheldon Coltrane: A Scanner Darkly was good.

Kelly: I didn't really know you liked your Sci-Fis.

Sheldon Coltrane: It's better than his The Day The Earth Stood Still remake.

Kelly: I think everything is better than his The Day The Earth Stood Still remake. But no, I didn't realise you were a Sci-Fi man. You like your Phillip K. Dick and William Gibson?

Sheldon Coltrane: I don't read too much. But I read those.

Kelly: Now could be the perfect time to talk about Street Kings. James Ellroy, you read any of his books?

Sheldon Coltrane: Do I read James Ellroy? He's my favourite writer.

Kelly: I could have guessed.

Sheldon Coltrane: He's pretty much all I read. The limit of my literature explorations. Don't ask me any further questions. Cause if you want to hear about Moby Dick, I'm not your man. That's the one about the fish right?

Kelly: Yes, that's the one about the fish.

Sheldon Coltrane: Ellroy. A couple of Sci-Fi books. Oh and Tom Clancy. That's where it begins and ends for me. Some people quote Shakespeare, I quote James Ellroy

Kelly: I'm sure you'll be glad to hear I'm currently reading American Tabloid

Sheldon Coltrane: JFK. The signpost of sleaze. Why am I not surprised. You going to do the whole Underworld USA trilogy?

Kelly: Going to have to now. I'm loving it.

Sheldon Coltrane: Can't beat that Ward Littel/Pete beef.

Kelly: Pete pacing round the toilets, holding his hand over the microphone to hide that he's hyperventilating after finding out he's working with Littel again hahaha

Sheldon Coltrane: JFK with his women. Bobby wanting to beat all mafia to a pulp

Kelly: But losing his mind every time someone says fuck around his kids.

Sheldon Coltrane: Very simplified. But very funny.

Kelly: Exactly. He turned the whole affair in to another Ellroy crime novel.

Sheldon Coltrane: Love it. The Demon Dog of Crime Fiction.

Kelly: I've just come off reading Pynchon so it's doing me good. A real departure from those long winded sentences. Comma after comma.

Sheldon Coltrane: Full stops. Always full stops. Any surplus gets removed. That's my language. That's how Ellroy does it.

Kelly: I was thinking at first it be a bit too simple but Christ the guys really turned it in to an art. The no nonsense style fits the brutality of the material.

Sheldon Coltrane: Keeps things moving fast. All came from when he was writing LA Confidential. He got told to cut it down but he didn't want to lose a single subplot, so he just removed every unnecessary word in a sentence.

Kelly: Right. So, did you like Street Kings?

Sheldon Coltrane: Routine. Definitely routine. Critics trashed it of course. But what do critics know? No offense to yourself.

Kelly: None taken.

Sheldon Coltrane: It's nothing particularly interesting but David Ayer knows his way round the police procedural. 3

Kelly: Other than Bright.

Sheldon Coltrane: I just blame Marvel for that shit.

Kelly: Easily done. Take it you don't like Constantine then?

Sheldon Coltrane: That's not bad for what it is.

Kelly: One thing I do like about Street Kings is that one scene towards the end when he sees the captain at his house. And the captains like, "I know who likes boys".

Sheldon Coltrane: Yeah, you can really feel Ellroy's presence there. The hard hitting homophobic and racist slurs. Textbook Ellroy

Kelly: He's incredible. Blows my mind how far he goes with his satire.

Sheldon Coltrane: I know.

Kelly: He lives his act.

Sheldon Coltrane: Alright calm down The Prestige.

Kelly: Hahaha you know what I mean though. He lives it so close to the edge that you're not even sure whether he's really just a horrible right winger. Whenever he's interviewed he's always talking about his love for conservatism and how the cops, in spite of every bad thing he ever wrote about them, are really good people.

Sheldon Coltrane: Haha and every now and then his wife has to come in like he doesn't really believe these things!

Kelly: You've got to respect it. I think.

Sheldon Coltrane: Oh it is dedication. If nothing else.

Kelly: Favourite Ellroy adaptation?

Sheldon Coltrane: Can I be obvious and go with LA Confidential? Or Dark Blue?

Kelly: Both great.

Sheldon Coltrane: I can't decide between them. I know what it isn't. It isn't The Black Dahlia

Kelly: Yeah it's kind of great that DePalma directed some Ellroy but

Sheldon Coltrane: But it's a fucking mess.

Kelly: Yeah. He gets the pulp. And he's trying to have some fun like he did with The Untouchables

Sheldon Coltrane: And the studios really getting in the way. Fucking Hollywood with their usual tricks. I've read the book many times and I still don't understand what's going on in the film.

Kelly: Release the Depalma cut?

Sheldon Coltrane: I'll march with you right now into, who did that film?

Kelly: I believe it was Universal.

Sheldon Coltrane: I'll march with you right now in to Universal and demand it see the light of day.

Kelly: Haha. Hold Mr Universal hostage 'til we get what we want.

Sheldon Coltrane: You got a favourite Ellroy adaptation?

Kelly: Cop.

Sheldon Coltrane: Oh I love Cop.

Kelly: It's just so evil isn't it.

Sheldon Coltrane: It's him at his most ridiculous haha

Kelly: But you just know Ellroy's messing with you the minute James Woods starts banging that feminist. Like come on, he's definitely having us on there.

Sheldon Coltrane: You reckon?

Kelly: Has to be. There needs to be a word for when someone gets like that. Like evil but likably so and funny. Like comedically cynical.

Sheldon Coltrane: I don't know about all that. I just think it's honest. It is what it is. Could have the best final line in history that film. "Well there's some good news and some bad news. The good news is you're right –I'm a cop and I've gotta take you in. The bad news is I've been suspended and I don't give a fuck". Cock, cock, blast gun.

Kelly: James Woods doesn't give a fuck. That's the kind of ending where in the script it should say 'Fade to fucking black' after it. Cause it goes that hard. 4

Sheldon Coltrane: Oh it really does.

Kelly: If there's a film I hope there's a kind of revival next it's that one.

Sheldon Coltrane: It deserves it. Whether it would play well to a modern crowd...

Kelly: I think that's enough on pre-John Wick. John Wick 1 then.

Sheldon Coltrane: Almost DTV origins.

Kelly: That's what really surprised me on the revisit. Like it's gone from such a low budget thing to a full on blockbuster franchise. First film had about a 20 mil budget. Now the latest is about 100 million. 5 times higher across 4 films.

Sheldon Coltrane: Really? I would have thought the budget was higher than that on the latest.

Kelly: Same.

Sheldon Coltrane: Every penny well spent. They really go to town on the stunts. Wipes the floor with everything else.

Kelly: It sure does. I think the mistake that people make now is that the first film invented that whole ballet dancing shoot 'em up fighting style.

Sheldon Coltrane: It didn't, no.

Kelly: Can you tell me a bit about Pencak Silat and Indonesia.

Sheldon Coltrane: So right now, the fighting capital of the world is Indonesia. It's been Hong Kong. It's been Thailand. We've had Kung Fu. We've had Muay Thai. Now it's all about Pencak Silat, which is a martial art coming from Indonesia. Instantly recognisable and what sets it apart is that every part of the body is used. A British director, Gareth Evans, went over to Jakarta to shoot a film that would showcase this form of fighting. That's when he found Iko Uwais, who's now a big Hollywood star. You'll all know him for The Raid films and maybe Mile 22. But what I recommend is you watch Evans and Uwais first collaboration together Merantau

Kelly: Great movie. Not quite as good but for more Uko Iwais I also enjoy Jesse V. Johnson's Triple Threat

Sheldon Coltrane: That's the one with Scott Adkins who plays the fat guy in John Wick 4. The fat guy who almost kills him.

Kelly: Crazy isn't it. The most rotund man in the series and he almost takes out this world's hardest guy.

Sheldon Coltrane: How he moves about in the fat suit so freely is unfathomable.

Kelly: The best acting in a fat suit in the last year?

Sheldon Coltrane: Definitely.

Kelly: Get this man an Academy award. There you have it folks. Brendan Fraser. Not even the best fat suit performance of the year.

Sheldon Coltrane: A national treasure that Scott Adkins. I mean you could really fully lose yourself in those DTV action movies coming out at the moment. They're all on Netflix. Storylines aren't always great. But if you want to follow action right now. I'm talking about real action with minimal cutting. Where the camera just keeps on rolling. That's where to go. I'm on it every Friday night or Saturday morning scrolling through their selection.

Kelly: That's what confuses me. We call them DTV still. But it's more about Straight to Streaming now, isn't it? So surely it should be STS or S2S. To be pedantic.

Sheldon Coltrane: You know how it is. Old stuff just sticks. Some of us spent far too much time scraping the bottom of the so called 1 dollar baskets to get used to the new terminology.

Kelly: Ah the 1 dollar baskets. The cinematic junk food. Picked up some outrageous titles in those kinds of baskets. Literally bottom of the barrel.

Sheldon Coltrane: They were giving them away. The fact you wasted about 90 minutes of your time was worse than the £1 you spent on them. Anyway if you want to see something really good I'd recommend The Night Comes For Us. That's Pencak Silat's finest hour.

Kelly: Shit. That's a good movie. Would you say, as good as The Raid?

Sheldon Coltrane: Better.

Kelly: Bold. And you could be right. I need more time with it. We'll see. But yes. As you were saying, John Wick didn't invent that style. They borrowed it and adapted it.

Sheldon Coltrane: They definitely made the link to music clearer.

Kelly: True. The Raid did have Linkin Park/Fort Minor's Mike Shinoda. Mr Remember the Name himself. He was going for this kind of industrial nu-metal thing. John Wick is more about the club.

Sheldon Coltrane: Tyler Bates is kind of like the go to now for scoring action.

Kelly: I can't figure out whether he's good. He can be a little bland.

Sheldon Coltrane: Journeyman, isn't he?

Kelly: Yeah, I can go with that. All the best stuff on the soundtrack comes from the electro house sound of Le Castle Vania. That's what surprised me watching the first one again. That scene in the club. When we first really John Wick mode. It's really something.

Sheldon Coltrane: It hasn't lost its charms.

Kelly: That's the thing. A few of the earlier, call them teaser scenes, had me thinking maybe we've caught up with movies like Nobody and Prey. But when you see that club scene you realise it's still ahead of the competition even with the first film.

Sheldon Coltrane: Oh, it's a real knockout. Not outdated yet.

Kelly: I can't get over the cinematography and the art direction for that scene. Always thought the stylised sets and lighting came in later. But when he slowly steps down with the spirals in the background. That's like some Michael Mann Miami Vice shit!

Sheldon Coltrane: I see what you mean. It is. The colours. The music video look.

Kelly: They've always been beautiful to look at. Which is, I would say, something missing from the imitators.

Sheldon Coltrane: Sure. That and Keanu Reeves's abilities.

Kelly: I'm glad you mention that. Cause like with The Matrix, I think his casting is integral to the success. We found in Keanu Reeves someone physically capable of performing the stunts that Hollywood actors can't.

Sheldon Coltrane: That's where the foreign markets have always been able to compete with Hollywood. They may have big buff tough guys who can lift logs and look the part but what can they do in a throw down? Talk the talk then get the bus the fuck out of there. What's a bland boxing style against the agility and wide spread techniques of martial arts? I'm sure we could sit here all day discussing which fighting style would win in a simulated fight. But when it comes to cinema there's only one winner. Keanu took time to learn these things. You could see he was trying them out on films like Man of Tai Chi and 47 Ronin. He just didn't quite have the skills then. He was learning the tools of the trade. Which makes the pay off now even more admirable. He's found the right director in Chad Stahelski, who was his stuntman for The Matrix. I haven't seen an actor with his good a knowledge of fire arms since Steve McQueen. And his reloading speeds are so advanced.

Kelly: A consummate professional. Most people blink every time a blanks fired.

Sheldon Coltrane: Exactly. They're cowards. I like to think that scene when he goes the airport is what John Wick boot camp looks like. Keanu Reeves spare time extra-curricular activities. They just brought a camera that day.

Kelly: Hahaha. John Wick. A documentary. When I watched it this time, I was checking round for shots of the dog. Like surely he hasn't taken the dog with him to the airport to do donuts at high speeds. They definitely only put that shot of him coming home and saying hello to the dog just to confirm he's not a bad person for people like me who were worried for the doggo.

Sheldon Coltrane: The John Wick franchise wouldn't disappoint the dog community. They're it's biggest fans.

Kelly: And how seriously should we take the dog angle to John Wick as being paramount to its success?

Sheldon Coltrane: No idea. But it's a touch of genius as it gets approval from the dog fans. A face the dog guys can get behind.

Kelly: And you and I appreciate that it's satirising the revenge formula by bringing it down to its simple terms?

Sheldon Coltrane: Yeah, it does seem a piss take on your Taken type movies.

Kelly: Some of the nerdier critics deemed it too simple and missed the actual fun of the first John Wick film. Which is that you get to see an action movie in the foreground with some fresh fighting styles but in the background you're seeing an entire world being formed before your very eyes. The character and The Continental.

Sheldon Coltrane: Every character just asking him if he's back. Who doesn't this guy know? Baba Yega haha

Kelly: Always loved how they intercut that back story with him clobbering the shite out of the ground with a hammer to get his weapons back.

Sheldon Coltrane: The beast returns. Badass.

Kelly: Indeed. I have a couple of problems with the first film.

Sheldon Coltrane: Impossible. Come on now, Kelly. It's flawless.

Kelly: Hahaha. Firstly, it lacks that John Woo like existential/mythological take on the profession. My other issue is that structurally, it's still a movie you've seen many times. Even if it is satirical. Which is why until the fourth film, I was convinced the second is the best film.

Sheldon Coltrane: Goes for the James Bondian. The bit when he goes and gets his suit tailored does get me very excited. Rome setting to give it that exotic, worldwide spy adventure international man of mystery touch.

Kelly: That all reminded me of The 10th Victim. So I was happy. If the first was Dr No, the second is definitely Goldfinger when the world is more cemented and the series is beginning to have fun with itself, having everything set up.

Sheldon Coltrane: This is why the first is my favourite. You get the novelty. The rest of them after the second one start getting too cartoon like for me. I always allow a bit of leeway for a film to go in to the unrealistic for entertainment purposes. But with each one they got further and further away from reality.

Kelly: You talked about log lifting before. Chapter 2 opening with John trying to retrieve his stolen vehicle and near destroying it in the process is this series Commando.

Sheldon Coltrane: I guess haha. But the whole story for part 2 is a mess. Ruins the cool mystery of how he got out the life. He didn't accomplish the impossible. He cheated his way out. Now it's coming back to haunt him. For a man who's meant to be as gifted as he is, he's not too smart. He doesn't plan anything. He's stupid. He may think quick in the moment and nail any 1 on 1 but he doesn't see the full board. Stupid.

Kelly: I think what you're talking about there is how he's a man of temporary fixes. A man who risks it all in the moment. The perfect action hero because his short sightedness and constant gambling opens the door for countless sequels.

Sheldon Coltrane: That's where it loses me a bit. All his actions are just to serve the continuation of the franchise and nothing logical.

Kelly: They are aware of it though. Like it's definitely a joke but I can see where it might lose some people as you say. I've seen some refer to this series as both comedy and musical. But what do you think to horror?

Sheldon Coltrane: John Wick, he's whatever you want him to be. Comedy? There's those bits when he's out of ammo and throws guns at people. Firing subtle shots off at Common in the train station with the silencers.

Kelly: Kills me that bit every time. Bit of the old James Cameron sequel doubling going on with those two.

Sheldon Coltrane: Musical? We've spoken about. But horror? Hmm... they do call him Baba Yega. An unkillable spectre. Maybe.

Kelly: This does have all the hallmarks of a horror sequel. Every –er suffix that's required. Narrative wise, that takes it away from the package of the first film and makes it its own thing. Plus take a look at his kill count in Chapter 2. 77. The most Jason Vorhees ever got in a single film was 27.

Sheldon Coltrane: Pathetic.

Kelly: Take that you little mother's boy! How good is that gig scene though?

Sheldon Coltrane: That's pure John Wick mode that. Best scene.

Kelly: What do you think to the ending?

Sheldon Coltrane: So intense. Only Ian McShane could announce he's putting a hit on your head and you lose no respect for him.

Kelly: A rather suave fellow. That ending was so... First time I seen it in the cinema, I was so in the zone that I was sprinting all the way home.

Sheldon Coltrane: John Wick will do that to you. You wouldn't be the first and you won't be the last. It's energy is infectious.

Kelly: There needs to be a word for this. Like the John Wick euphoria you get from watching it.

Sheldon Coltrane: Jacked on John Wick mode.

Kelly: You've been Wicked. They ended it on such a high they needed to try and sustain that through Chapter 3. Which they do in all fairness for the first act. Suggesting it's going to be like Mad Max in the city. But then it loses its steam around act 2.

Sheldon Coltrane: That whole bit in Casablanca is boring.

Kelly: Agreed. It's like it stops being a John Wick movie.

Sheldon Coltrane: The fights are still fine. Very good even. And if it was any other movie you'd praise them. Lacks that energy though. It isn't John Wick mode.

Kelly: It isn't. There's something dead and generic about it. Halle Berry's presence only emphasises that.

Sheldon Coltrane: That's a real lack of respect there. She was great in Swordfish

Kelly: Hahaha. I've got no time for the desert sequences. They look so horrible. So cheap.

Sheldon Coltrane: Lawrence of Arabia it ain't.

Kelly: Once they do get out the desert, it does pick up kind of. I mean it's bad but it's something of a guilty pleasure by that point seeing the battle between The Continental and The High Table.

Sheldon Coltrane: Entertaining but strains my reality rule. Goes a bit too far.

Kelly: There's an upside and a downside in seeing this epic done as a low budget Lionsgate movie. Game of Thrones plotting but done without brains or money.

Sheldon Coltrane: Ending really annoyed me on part 3. Basically the scene the movie should have started with. So why did we just waste all this time getting what both me and you knew was going to happen?

Kelly: John Wick is pissed off.

Sheldon Coltrane: He's pissed off. Me too.

Kelly: I didn't like the ending too much either. It was laughable. But you're right, entertaining. We've seen these kind of tactics before from Lionsgate's Saw franchise. They have to have the big ending every time but then they've got a single act for the next film, they've put themselves in a trap, so they have to waste the majority of the next two acts getting them out of it.

Sheldon Coltrane: This is why I don't watch those Saw films. I quite like the detective side but it's no Seven. John Wick Chapter 3 was pretty disappointing. Had me near giving up. I won't lie, I wasn't overjoyed when I heard about the fourth one coming. Skipping it though, for some reason I just couldn't do it.

Kelly: I know what you mean. I almost tapped out too.

Sheldon Coltrane: To skip one would be to miss out on all the top quality action scenes. They're unbeatable. I don't like how cartoony they've become and I don't like the plots but the action. No complaints there. They're what keep me coming back. That's what I need.

Kelly: You're hooked on John Wick Mode.

Sheldon Coltrane: I am.

Kelly: So with all this in mind, how did John Wick 4 go for you then?

Sheldon Coltrane: More cartoon than ever but the plots good and has the best action of the entire series.

Kelly: I think you're absolutely right. And whilst I have had complaints about the cartoon silliness in places, this one landed for me and I took it in a way I've never taken it before. Which is John Wick as a graphic novel or manga.

Sheldon Coltrane: With the three hour epic length.

Kelly: Everything it had been trying to be in the previous films suddenly landed. There's a desert scene which is very David Lean and worthy of that level.

Sheldon Coltrane: Lawrence of Arabia it is.

Kelly: Widescreen you'd expect from a John Ford movie.

Sheldon Coltrane: That western/eastern hybrid we haven't seen so well combined since Kill Bill

Kelly: That extends to the look of the film too which is like a cross between a Kurosawa movie and Blade Runner. Weirdly ends up like Ridley's other film The Duellists by the end.

Sheldon Coltrane: I'm glad you said The Duellists and not Barry Lyndon. I can't stand Barry fucking Lyndon.

Kelly: Hahaha it's a little slow.

Sheldon Coltrane: Kelly, it's fucking boring.

Kelly: I'd say it's deliberate and well controlled.

Sheldon Coltrane: Kelly. Kelly! Call it what it is. It's fucking boring.

Kelly: Hahahaa. There is a sort of Dovetsky/Homer thing going on with this Chapter.

Sheldon Coltrane: Kelly, we've gone over this. We've exceeded my literary reach with James Ellroy

Kelly: Ok, but you know Batman, Sin City and Lone Wolf and Cub right?

Sheldon Coltrane: Oh, thanks. Back to my level now. Thanks a million. I could see some of the new Batman with the Scott Adkins scene in the techno club. It's funny, I was waiting for him to show up the whole movie cause I'm a huge fan of his. So all the way through I'm waiting for him to show up. It took me about 5 minutes in to the card scene to clock on. Like hang on a minute, that's Scott Adkins in a fat suit.

Kelly: Incredible. I don't think it's a scene they'd manage to get in the first film.

Sheldon Coltrane: What?

Kelly: Just the time to throw in a subplot like that. This little side quest where he has to take out Adkins. You can't really fit that in to a 90 minuter

Sheldon Coltrane: True.

Kelly: Anyone who says it lacks substance, that's what I'd go to. There is a substance in the style. In the way it finally connects itself to cinema and literature. All the references land. I mean, it's great to finally see a movie visually acknowledging other works again rather than wasting time condescendingly telling you what it's referencing.

Sheldon Coltrane: I hate that. It really slows down the films. When they have to stop and tell you what's going down. I always think please just get back to the action.

Kelly: Yeah, above all keep the pacing up. If you have to slow down to tell us what you're doing that's not good. Keep it on the move. Otherwise you lose economy.

Sheldon Coltrane: I'm all about economy.

Kelly: I know. I am too.

Sheldon Coltrane: Economy above all else.

Kelly: Some have said you could shave down the runtime of Chapter but I'm not too sure where.

Sheldon Coltrane: I feel like I'd want to take off maybe 15 or 20 minutes. But you're right, I couldn't tell you where.

Kelly: It’s too easy to say that as a benchmark but finding the places. You'd have to remove something like that subplot of fighting Adkins but who would want to lose that? To me, the length is justified because this needed to be this great big epic graphic novel.

Sheldon Coltrane: I'm more bothered about the action. That overhead camera long take. We talked about DePalma before. That's something he would do. That sequence isn't nothing. I'd go as far as to say it's some of the best choreography in any movie ever.

Kelly: Ah the very scene that made me go, this is the best film I've ever seen in the cinema. This is my Mad Max: Fury Road. Just pure pop entertainment. The peak of that. You brought up the western/eastern hybrid. I think it's one of the best since Star Wars to so effortlessly combine the two styles of filmmaking.

Sheldon Coltrane: I wouldn't hold it up to Star Wars but I get what you're saying. Like George Lucas, Chad Stahelski shares that passion for Kurosawa.

Kelly: They're cinephiles. No doubt. It's as though they've made The Good, The Bad and The Ugly for Daft Punk heads. I'm on my knees for that shit. Justice when he's ascending the Montmartre stairs. We've got Johnny doing donuts round the Arc De Triomphe to Gesaffelstein. Best surreal hitman flick in Paris since Holy Motors.

Sheldon Coltrane: John Wick Mode.

Kelly: The whole DJ thing to score the set pieces was genius.

Sheldon Coltrane: Paint it Black. What a great song. Rolling Stones are probably my favourite band. Beatles were great but I'm more of a Stones man.

Kelly: It's all completely fair. Beatles were more innovative but Stones, well they're just cool aren't they.

Sheldon Coltrane: McCartney trying to downplay them recently by declaring them just some blues band.

Kelly: But they were?

Sheldon Coltrane: Kelly behave. The Stones are the greatest.

Kelly: Ok. Ok. You know what really had me on board with Chapter 4 from the outset. Having everyone fighting like that in the opening half hour or so. Keanu, Donnie Yen and Hiroyuki Sanada. What other American franchise offers that?

Sheldon Coltrane: We may never see that again in such a big blockbuster. Whatever complaints I have of this series are resolved just on that. Bringing all our favourite martial arts heroes together like this. Scott Adkins too. I just hope it makes people go out and seek these guys other films. IP Man, Iron Monkey, Dragon, Avengement, Ninja 2, Day of Reckoning .

Kelly: Let's hope so. I'm never getting over John Wick with the nunchuks round his neck whilst reloading. That's cinema.

Sheldon Coltrane: It's the little things. Also, all movies should end with a duel.

Kelly: That goes without saying. I had a strange feeling coming of John Wick Chapter 4. You see, it re-woke my old alter-ego. I thought I buried Kung Fu Kelly in a quiet graveyard off the M56. John Wick Chapter 4 has awakened him. He's back. Like if you want me from now on, I'll be stood by the Eiffel Tower shadowboxing waiting to be tested in some 1 on 1s. Those who don't know, my weapon of choice: my bear hands.

Sheldon Coltrane: John Wick Mode activated?

Kelly: Well and truly...

*During our conversation, we agreed to both include a list of our top 10 fight movies for new comers wanting to explore the genre further after John Wick Chapter 4.

Coltrane's Top 10:

1. Enter The Dragon (1973)

2. The Way of the Dragon (1972)

3. The Night Comes for Us (2018)

4. Fist of Legend (1994)

5. Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior (2003)

6. The Protector (2005)

7. Five Deadly Venoms (1978)

8. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

9. Lady Snowblood (1973)

10. 8 Diagram Pole Fighter (1984)

Kelly's Top 10:

1. A Touch of Zen (1970)

2. Enter the Dragon (1973)

3. Clan of the White Lotus (1980)

4. The Big Boss (1971)

5. The Raid (2011)

6. The Night Comes for Us (2018)

7. 5 Elements Ninjas (1982)

8. Five Deadly Venoms (1978)

9. The 36th Chamber of Shaolin (1978)

10. The Invincible Armour (1977)

Bonus Points:

-Cinematic ambitions finally realised. The Kurosawa. The John Ford. The Tarantino. East meets West hybrid. A rare masterpiece in pure pop entertainment like Mad Max: Fury Road. Finally worthy of David Lean and Lawrence of Arabia

-Visual references over dialogue

-Establishes itself as a cinematic graphic novel or manga akin to Batman, Sin City and Shogun Assassin

-Scott Adkin's fighting skills in the fat suit

-The Good, The Bad and The Ugly for Daft Punk heads

-Johnny doing donuts round the fucking Arc De Triomph to Gesaffelstein's Hate or Glory

-Johnny falling down the Montmarte Stairs being this Sisyphus moment

-Johnny with the nunchuks round his neck whilst reloading rapidly

-Johnny reloading whilst doing a reverse 180

-Ian McShane's mind games to get his hotel back and complete confidence in Johnny. Lance Reddick for representing The Continental until the end

-Bill Skarsgard going full Bond Bad guy. The Kurgen as his assistant. Meetings in front of the artwork for The Pogues classic album. Setting up fights by the Eiffel Tower

-Donnie Yen being at one with the force again. Hiroyuki Sanada's composure

-Ending with a duel

Overall Score:

5/5