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Nice Girls
By Dr. Sue Edwards
Y
OU ARE HOLDING WOMEN’S HANDS TO HELL,”
lifelong process. Listen to these women share their voices and then consider your own.
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FullFill ™
SPRING 2010
Hayal as noble or virtuous. But the word is used 246 times in the Old Testament, most often referring to fighting men of valor. A better translation would be, “A wife of strength and courage, who can find? Her worth is far more than rubies.” Given the fallen nature of the heart and the complexities of personalities, conflict is an unavoidable aspect of ministry. We must learn to deal with our emotions when others are insensitive, unkind, or just plain mean. We must understand and practice strategies related to conflict, particularly with other women, who deal with conflict differently than men. We must be tough, eradicating indirect, passive aggressive, people-pleasing, manipulative tactics that have characterized women for centuries. Velvet covered bricks—strong on the outside but never allowing our hearts to harden. Only then can we be influential leaders for Jesus. Dr. Sue Edwards is Assistant Professor of Christian Education at Dallas Theological Seminary and the co-author of Leading Women Who Wound and Mixed Ministry, Working Together as Brothers and Sisters in an Oversexed Society.
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SIMON HOWDEN / XTREMERX / ISTOCK
Finding, understanding and using your unique voice is a
snapped my rival, glaring at me over the conference table. We were respected Bible teachers and every week hundreds of women sat at our feet to learn about the joy, peace, and love of Jesus. But today we were embroiled in a conflict that threatened to destroy our reputations and ministries. She charged me with false teaching over a grey issue that most scholars with different views on the issue respectfully agree to disagree, but not my adversary. The conflict lasted almost a year. I was ultimately exonerated but emerged bruised and battle-weary. However, I learned priceless lessons that prepared me for future ministry. I was a peoplepleaser who needed to learn to perform for an audience of One. I was quick to run from conflict instead of facing it head-on. I was ignorant regarding peacemaking skills and strategies and sought to educate myself, resulting in a book to help others. I’m grateful. John Maxwell calls the best leaders “velvetcovered bricks”—strong on the inside but soft on the outside—not the typical “nice girl.” The Proverbs 31 woman models this strength for us. In verse 10, most Bibles translate the Hebrew word