Monica by Friktion

A love story

Jeg begyndte at interessere mig for 90erne. Festen. Min barndom. Riget. Dig. Wikipedia forklarer, at du blev en celebrity efter sexskandalen i Det Hvide Hus, at du lagde navn til en ny serie af håndtasker omkring årtusindeskiftet. Min mor siger: Jeg husker hende som erotisk buttet. Jeg synes, du er smuk. Verden har hæftet sig særligt ved de fotografier der findes af dig og Præsidenten fra tiden inden skandalen. Google har lært sig at det netop er disse billeder, vi ønsker at se: Præsidenten i jakkesæt. Dig i jakkesæt Så snart man har skrevet monica foreslår maskinen lewinsky foreslår den monica lewinsky young. Der findes mange billeder af dit ansigt sat på en nøgen krop, der ikke er din. Den slags materiale, nogen har haft brug for som supplement til deres fantasi, hvori de selv er Præsidenten. Jeg synes du er smuk, jeg synes du minder om Fran Drescher fra 90er-‐serien The Nanny. Der er et billede af dig i Helsinki fra din praktikperiode i Det Hvide Hus. Du har en hvid skjorte på, det er alt for nemt at forstå, hvorfor man kunne få lyst til at tage den af dig. Min mor siger: findes der en mere charmerende mand end Bill Clinton? Paula Jones, hed den kvinde, der førte en retssag mod Præsidenten for påstået tidligere sexchikane fra hans tid som senator i Arkansas. Sagsøgerne mente, det havde relevans for sagen, at kortlægge, hvorvidt Præsidenten havde haft andre eller nuværende seksuelle relationer med andre kvindelige ansatte. Og systemet fandt det relevant. Som tidligere ansat i Det Hvide Hus blev du indkaldt som vidne i Jones sag, men du forsøgte at undslippe, indgav en eller anden formel begrundelse, sådan står der i rapporten. Men nogen må have sagt noget, tippet myndighederne om jeres forhold. Skandalen rullede. Den primære sag om sexchikane i Arkansas blev glemt i skandalen om præsidentens forhold til dig. Jeg husker, at jeg ofte hørte dit navn som barn og hørte folk gentage præsidentens famøse benægtende formulering. Jeg husker billeder af dig i TV, hvor du smilede, og jeg tænker nu, at du smilede som folk, der skammer sig kan smile sødt. Du kom gående ud i din have, sådan en åben amerikansk forhave til et stort, hvidt amerikansk hus. Måske dit barndomshjem. Pressen havde slået ring om græsplænen, hele haven var tildynget med toiletpapir og affald.

It began with intense flirting you know at departure ceremonies I made eye contact shook hands and introduced myself at one point we talked alone in the course of flirting I raised my jacket in the back and showed him the straps of my thong underwear I told him that I had a crush on him he laughed then asked if I would like to see his private office

Working late during the furlough Jennifer Palmieri had ordered pizza and somebody accidentally knocked pizza on my jacket I went to wash it off and as I was coming out of the restroom the President was standing in the doorway he said: “You can come out this way” The President suggested I’d bring him some slices of pizza I returned to the Oval Office and his secretary said: 'Sir, the girl's here with the pizza.' he had a telephone call he unzipped his pants and sort of exposed himself

He told me that he liked my smile my energy he said: "I'm usually around on weekends no one else is around you can come and see me.” I had the impression that he had forgotten my name because when passing me in the hallway he had called me Kiddo

Everyone of my friends believed I was telling the truth about my relationship with the President Dale Young a friend of mine later testified “If she was going to lie to me she would have said: Oh, he calls me all the time He does wonderful things He can't wait to see me you know she wouldn't be telling me: He told me he'd call me I waited home all weekend and I didn't do anything and he didn't call and then he didn't call for two weeks.”

We were physically affectionate a lot of hugging holding hands sometimes he pushed my hair out of my face I called him Handsome. he called me Sweetie, Baby or sometimes Dear at times I believed that he loved me too

We would tell jokes we would talk about our childhoods talk about current events I was always giving him my stupid ideas about what I thought should be done he would talk about his childhood I wanted him to touch my genitals with his genitals and he did so lightly and without penetration I never expected to fall in love with the President I was surprised that I did

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The President seemed troubled about my upcoming departure from the White House he told me that he thought that me being transferred had something to do with him he said: “Why do they have to take you away from me I trust you” He said: “I promise you if I win in November I'll bring you back like that”

We gave each other numerous gifts he gave me: a hat pin two brooches a blanket a marble bear figurine Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass I construed it as a sign of affection when he wore the necktie I had given him I used to say to him: “I like it when you wear my ties because then I know I'm close to your heart.” he was aware of my reaction he would sometimes wear my gifts he would sometimes say to me: “Did you see I wore your tie the other day?” The President sometimes asked me if I had told anyone about our sexual relationship about the gifts we had exchanged I told him: “I will always deny it I will always protect you” concerned that we might be interrupted we never fully undressed

He said he didn't want to get addicted to me and he didn't want me to get addicted to him he pushed me away I said: “I care about you so much I don't understand why why you won't let me make you come it's important to me I mean it just doesn't feel complete it doesn't seem right”

I had no physical contact with the President for the rest of 1996 I repeatedly told the President that I disliked my Pentagon job and I wanted to return to the White House and I said, "Well," I said: "I'm really unhappy," you know he said: “I want to talk about other things tonight” which meant phone sex on February 14, 1997, the Washington Post published my Valentine's Day Love Note: HANDSOME “With love's light wings did I o'er perch these walls For stony limits cannot hold love out, And what love can do that dares love attempt.” - Romeo and Juliet 2:2 Happy Valentine's Day. M

I wrote in a letter: “I don't want you to think that I am not grateful” I wrote: “I was so sure that the weekend after the election you would call me to come visit and you would kiss me passionately and tell me you couldn't wait to have me back you would ask me where I wanted to work and say something akin to ‘Consider it done’ and it would be”

In July I wrote him a letter opening: Dear Sir he was later scolding me: saying: “It's illegal to threaten the President of the United States.” I began weeping and he hugged me I spotted a gardener outside the study window and we moved into the bathroom there he was the most affectionate he'd ever been he stroked my arm toyed with my hair and praised my intellect and beauty he wished he had more time for me and so I said: “Well, maybe you will have more time in three years” and I was thinking just when he wasn't President anymore and then he said: “Well, what are we going to do when I'm 75 and I have to pee 25 times a day?” And I told him that we'd deal with that

When he explained that we had to end our intimate relationship. earlier in his marriage, he told me he had had hundreds of affairs; but since turning 40, he had made a concerted effort to be faithful he pointed out that he could do a great deal for me for the first time I performed oral sex through completion next time I took the navy blue Gap dress from my closet to wear it I noticed stains near one hip and on the chest

Months later I had set up the table in his back office I had brought an apple square and put in a candle he came back in and I sang happy birthday Happy birthday Happy birthday Happy birthday Mr. President and he got his presents I asked him if we could share a birthday kiss he said that that was okay and we could kind of bend the rules that day and I just knew that he was in love with me

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I repeatedly asked the President to get me a White House job he said that various staff members were working on it, "Bob Nash is handling it," "Marsha's going to handle it" "We just sort of need to be careful." you know "Oh, I'll talk to her," “I'll -- you know, I'll see blah, blah, blah," and it was just: "I'll do," "I'll do," "I'll do." And didn't, didn't, didn't

Linda Tripp told me that her friend had heard rumors about me and that I would never work in the White House again She said: “Get out of town” any normal person would have walked away from this and said: he doesn't call me he doesn't want to see me screw it it doesn't matter but I can't let you go I want to be a source of pleasure and laughter and energy I want to make you smile

I decided to ask him for a job in New York, perhaps at the UN a possibility that I had mentioned to him in passing over the summer. his secretary who quoted the President as having said earlier: "Oh, that's no problem we can place her in the UN like that."

I wanted two things from the President first thing he needed to acknowledge that he helped fuck up my life the second was a job one that I could obtain without much effort I wrote: “I'd like to ask you to help me” I wanted to drop off a gift So I did A book called: “The Presidents of the United States” and we chatted and we played with Buddy The Presidents dog I gave him a love note inspired by the movie Titanic And walked through The Rose Garden