Issue 005 "Empowered"

FEB

I S S U E 005

2017

EMPOWERED FEB 2017 | ISSUE 005 | 1

Letter from the Publisher Dear Readers, This is a very special issue for us as it’s our first fully themed publication. We set out with the simple goal to tie the articles of this issue back to the theme of woman’s empowerment. To our amazement, that initial idea blossomed into this amazing collection of stories. Our contributors, women and men, have written about real issues, deep emotions, and what it means to feel empowered.

I’m also excited to announce our first fiction story titled, “the Hunt.” Author Daniel Soule takes us into the mind of a disturbed and sadistic individual as he stalks his “prey.” The story may strike a chord in you, not just for its graphic content but the fact that the scenario depicted could happen to anyone, even to the people we hold dear.

I want to say thank you to waii, California, Northern It’s their unique perspecial and enjoyI hope you find in this issue need of affirmawho you are, have the right empowered!

all the contributors hailing from HaIreland, England, and Bangladesh. spectives that make this publication able to read. something positive from the stories and that you share it with those in tion. Remember that no matter you deserve to be treated fairly, to seek happiness, and to feel -Clinton “Sapinho” Dela Cruz

Design | Operations Clinton Dela Cruz Publisher / Designer E: clintondlc@freerollmag.com IG: @clintondlc

Eddie Rodrigues Lead Designer E: eddie@freerollmag.com IG: @roxt_eddie

Tiannah DLC-Diaz Customer Representive E: tiannah@freerollmag.com IG: @tiannahko

Jason Walter Managing Editor E: menamejmaw@gmail.com IG: @menamejmaw

Romana Miah Media Coordinator E: mana@freerollmag.com IG @anamormiah

Jeffrey Huang Brand Ambassador E: Huang.JeffC@gmail.com IG @ajmataz

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Cover Photos | BRET THOMPSETT E: photobret@hotmail.com IG: @brettheafrican Subject | Hazel Capalad IG:hcapalad

STORYTELLERS Chloe Fonacier

Ayesha Kamal

“Her Space” E: cjdf210@gmail.com IG: @chloefonacier

“Get a Grip - on Being a Woman on the Mats” E: fiercefitfight@gmail.com IG: @plumpetalsfit

Daniel Soule “The HUNT” E: daniel.soule@btinternet.com TW: @grammatologer

David Greer “Rolling With Women” E: dgreer13@gmail.com IG: @whitepineapple

Glenn Calairo Interview with Shanti Abelha E: calairo15@yahoo.com IG: @glenn.calairo

Tanvir Mosharaff “The Fight for Feminism, and the Fight game for Self Defense” E: tanvir.nick@gmail.com FB: /tanvir.mosharraf FEB 2017 | ISSUE 005 | 3

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CONTENTS 26. Q&A with Shanti Abelha

by Glenn Calairo

6.

12.

6. Her Space

by Chloe Fonacier

Once it was just an idea, born from the rich experiences of their time on the mats. . .

12. The HUNT

by Daniel Soule

The hunt is almost as good as the kill. It’s just my opinion but I love the cat and mouse of it. . .

16. Get a Grip On Being a Woman on the Mats

16.

by Ayesha Kamal

You may often hear that practicing Jiu-Jitsu is empowering and it helps you become empowered – but what does that really mean? . .

24. Rolling With Women

by David Greer 24.

32.

Guys, imagine it. You’re sitting there minding your own business when a woman approaches, lies down in front. . .

32. The Fight for Feminism, and the Fight game for Self Defense

by Tanvir Mosharraf Nayla (not real name) was dressed all pretty and headed for Dhaka University, the oldest . . .

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HER SPACE

by Chloe Fonacier

O

nce it was just an idea, born from the rich experiences of their time on the mats. An idea that didn’t come to them all on their own, but an idea that evolved over time spent rolling with women and men; realizing not just the norms, but also the setbacks, and more so the potential of rolling with new bodies from other schools.

Good friends Mel and Kelly who met at a UFC open mat, both affiliated under Nova Uniao, one day had this idea about an open mat specifically for women.

“We felt that there’s more women training Jiu-Jitsu nowadays and we never got to enjoy or share our passion with them like how guys do...with all the politics going on. We just want Jiu-Jitsu to evolve and that we can all inspire women of all ages and that Jiu-Jitsu is for everyone,” Mel expressed.

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Driven by the experiences that they’ve endured and what they have learned from getting to roll with other women, they knew it was time to birth an open mat for the Hawaii community they call home.

“Simply, we changed the idea into an action.

Let’s just do it!” Kelly said with a confident smile.

The Realization For a woman showing up to train, she usually will show up to a room full of men; but that wouldn’t surprise a man as that is the norm in most MMA sports. But from a women’s point of view, she is the minority.

“Society teaches us to be in competition with each other; in martial arts we are compared with each other a lot.”

A woman may only have 2-3 rolls with other women, but on most occasions she has had to learn how to mold herself into a courageous beast. Ready to roll with men who are stronger, heavier, maybe even a bit more experienced.

But that is just the reality of it, that there will always be more men in Jiu-Jitsu. Most times it isn’t even a choice, that we as women who come to train know that if there aren’t other women, we still show up to learn and practice.

Not just scan the room and simply shrug our shoulders as if there is no use. We do what we gotta do to grow. We stay in, because we are looking to build ourselves, from the inside out.

Not to say, that rolling with men is a bad thing.

Not at all! In fact it is a great practice. Allowing us to get comfortable with different body structures, not feeling intimidated to execute new techniques, or simply learn how to respond to getting smashed or submitted by a mound of muscle and sweat.

But we are women, women who cherish connection.

Who gain a lot from learning from other women, especially those that we don’t get to train with on a regular basis.

Could the concept of women’s open mat get more women to train and stay dedicated to the grind?

Well the answer to that question is something Mel and Kelly both agree on, that yes it could BUT it won’t just happen over night. As they explained, “it takes women needing to be serious about their training in order for these kind of occasions to happen.” More so, these friends realized that not everyone is a competitor, or that they have the opportunity to train outside of their schools.

If women were coming together to advocate for open mat time outside of their own school; how many more women would not just grow in their commitment to the sport but spread their love for this sport to other women in their own circles? How can women truly build on our training if, the only time we rolled with new women, was in competition?

With 110% beast mode turned up, I’d find it quite difficult to grow but also have fun. Open mat gives women the space to not just be in community, but thrive in her training; being open minded to learning new techniques that we wouldn’t have learned in just one environment.

The Challenges Faced for Women Politics. This seemed to be another challenge that surfaced through my conversation with Kelly, as she explained to me, “The natural reaction for a women’s coach is to be protective and not to advise cross-training. Schools wanted to keep secrets within their own school, and I do understand respecting those boundaries”.

But does it just have to stop there? Can we find a way to continue to respect every school, and not to simply allow women but more importantly make it an open door mindset, that yes women do deserve every right to have training environments that will enrich her self esteem and overall confidence in this sport? For a woman to train in a space that doesn’t leave her thinking that she’s being carefully critiqued all the time, or that she has to always adapt to her opponents because they aren’t her average height, weight, or skill set.

Here is the depth of the issue that inspired me FEB 2017 | ISSUE 005 | 7

further by this women’s open mat initiative.

“Women can be ABOVE politics with an open mat because it is so important for women to train with other women. As women in this sport we should be able to share our own secrets; instead of feeling the tension towards one another. If instructors don’t recognize that, that will be normal.”

Yes, it will feel comfortable to want to stay within your own community and safe space, but what if we were allowed more opportunities to venture into unknown territory? Well…thankfully we would survive because we aren’t living it out on our own. We have women right next to us, who are learning and soaking in just as much as.

The Best Intentions As women, even if we had never put on a gi or practiced in a form of MMA before, we would know what we would be getting ourselves into, every time we stepped on the mat. When choosing where we would train it was a thoughtful decision that came with genuine advising and personal processing. Whoever we chose to train under, we chose because we trusted that they would have the best interest in our training.

Wherever you call your home gym, know that our instructors have the best intention for us.

Especially as women, our coaches are protective of us from getting hurt outside of the school, where the instructors won’t be where their eyes aren’t.

Although, if you are ready to expand your experiences and who you get to try and fail with, then take your training into your own hands.

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mates as allies, and together talk to your coach about open mats in other gyms so that rules and traditions are continued to be made aware of and respected, and your coach is kept in open communication about what the women in the school value and want to seek more of.

In essence, it comes back to what was expressed earlier. If women want to expand and deepen their BJJ journey, they have to take responsibility to self-advocate for how their training will pan out. Yes, we may be the minority and as an individuals, you may be one or two voices out of 10 others. But honestly if you don’t speak up, no one will. So, take ownership as you will get back what you put out.

It won’t be just women being able to make this happen, “we need the buy in from the black belt coaches, they have the power to help us grow this.”

The Open Door Open mat is not just a day set for a few hours of women getting to roll with new bodies, and simply meet, roll, and forget. On a more profound level, there is so much to value in this time that women get to be in a common place, where the gis may all have different school patches but the mat we step on holds equal opportunity for all to experience for themselves.

Mel and Kelly both share what they believe are some valuable takeaways: 1) Women’s open mat gives women an opportunity to not just compete but to interact with other women in a non-competitive environment.

2) It’s a way to see where you are at with other people, without killing each other or trying to beat others.

3) No one is there to prove a point but to

encourage and learn from one another.

4) Bonds are created and they can grow into strong relationships with women from other schools.

5) An opportunity to roll with different body types, different styles and techniques. (I sometimes enjoy getting my ass beat because I get to learn from the mistakes that I make).

6) Open mat-lifts competitive mentality, and gives women a supportive and fun atmosphere.

respect and open mindedness towards one another.

Kelly and Mel seemed to have picked up those similar vibes as well: “I was proud of the women that showed up. It was a cool thing to see women rolling with new people, everyone jumping in and exchanging techniques.”

“The first open mat was awesome. All egos out Sure, it may not be easy to just simply show up the door. All the women there were nice and and automatically make new friends. Because down to earth and some were willing to ask maybe for some women we do fear rejection questions and learn. I was happy with everyor have the doubts or insecurities that have one!” blinded our ability to step out. But this is your chance to break free from Are there any fears that those mind tricks. There we want to avoid for future will always be tension when open mats? making yourself vulnera“My fear is that other peoble in a new environment, ple would try to watch or but by putting yourself out try to go to the women’s there and asking others event who weren’t womto teach you something en. It may sound silly, but you saw and want to apthere is reason to that. We ply to your game, that is have to communicate to the how you bridge yourself instructors that it has to be to other women outside of free and has to be only for your school. That is a part women. We want women of building your self-confito feel comfortable and not dence.

Kelly (left) & Mel (right) feel exposed. To not feel like they are being watched by Creation and Thoughts on instructors, and feel pressured to not mess up.” the first open mat “The idea came to life by simply creating a public group over Facebook. We set a date, time, location…and just needed some women. We kept it in a open format, messaged as many women as we knew and got the word passed along.”

Then the day came (December 3rd, 2016) and of all the awesome things I observed while watching the women roll, as I myself got out there training with new and old partners, what stuck out to me the most was the genuine support I could hear left and right. Women from different schools sharing this time with such

Again she re-iterates the importance of women being able to be themselves and train without judgment and expectation. Something we may not say out loud, but maybe for some we have been harboring inside and on our own. Maybe by continuing to attend exclusive women’s open mat events will create those opportunities to slowly rid oneself of that barrier, in order to fully express capabilities in this sport.

Continuing the momentum Like any goal you set yourself up for, one thing FEB 2017 | ISSUE 005 | 9

that could really define your commitment to it is if and how you continue to push forward. I asked both women what they believe would help this community be successful for the near and far.

Kelly emphasized that, “Women are stakeholders of this open mat, and my hope is that other women buy into it and that they own it and are a part of it. My hope is that the community is running it and it becomes self-sustainable (new gyms to host , and new women getting rallied up). A year from now, My vision is that Mel and I won’t run it but that other women will step up to help run this.”

Mel adds, “We can ask all women to spread the word and also to let them feel free to organize any women’s Jiu-Jitsu events.

For example: promoting free self-defense classes.

On a statewide scale, the Hawaii BJJ community can support this by supporting and encouraging women to join these kinds of events (women’s open mat , Girls in Gis, etc.).

In 2017, their hope is to keep the momentum going and make sure the word is spread, to different locations all over the island. Feedback from those women who attend is also key to ensure that the best is being done to make this event worthwhile for all. The mission is that we can continue to grow this community, that it was created for all and will remain accessible for all.

“Even women from the outer islands, we want them to know about these open mats, so that when they come to visit Oahu they can come and roll with us.”

Imagine the potential, how many more women we would see on one mat of different belt ranks, ages, affiliations, and places they call home.

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Last Thought “Our vision is to inspire all women.. that Jiu-Jitsu is for everyone. Jiu-Jitsu (arte suave) means gentle art and that it was made for smaller and weaker people against a bigger and stronger opponent.”

So why not give women even more chances to change up their regular routine, mix in some new bodies to spar with, and in a new environment?

“This is our secret space for women to train with women. Giving each other instruction and feedback. There is a different purpose from a regular class.”

This is the time and place for women to take a chance in challenging their regular routine and the individuals they usually train with. This is the chance to learn and stretch your mental and physical capacity. Women’s open mat is not just a fun event for women to roll together, but on a real level it is a sacred space that honors a woman’s right to fully be herself. To learn things about herself that can transcend to other areas of her life. Where she is not alone in this journey. But with her BJJ sisters, where she has the opportunity to connect, engage, and inspire one another to be the best athlete, mom, daughter, sister, and friend, on and off the mats.

In 2017, will you choose to step up and advocate for what you value as a woman practitioner, in order to participate in the potential that Jiu-Jitsu has in store for you?

I leave you with a quote: “A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” - Anonymous

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THE HUNT A Cautionary Tale By Daniel Soule

T

he hunt is almost as good as the kill. It’s just my opinion but I love the cat and mouse of it. The “oh no, I don’t want to” but she really does. You have got to come prepared for this kind of thing. Got my hair cut.

Got my best shirt on. Pressed my jeans and put my best sneakers on. Cleaned my teeth, flossed too. My best lines are lined up. Got my killer smile and my listening face all practiced.

Got my cup slipped into my jocks and a roofie ready to go, if she’s not. If you catch my meaning?

Sally, oh Sally, how I have wanted you.

Usually, I’ve got to go out of town for an opportunity like this, but now here you are back from your sophomore year at college, all clever and oh so perky. Your dumbass brother couldn’t stop banging on about how well you are doing hanging out with all those four-eyed pricks, who haven’t got a clue about what a woman really wants.

“The gang’s back together. Let’s go out to Jessie’s for pitchers,” her brother practically wet himself at the idea. No, the brains in the family certainly didn’t go to poor Jonny. He’s good for a loan though, and too much of a pussy to need to worry about paying him back.

Sally got all the looks as well. Sitting there with a tight white t-shirt with some goofy logo on her tits, like butter wouldn’t melt. You big flirt.

“What’s the t-shirt?” I ask. You gotta ask, gotta make it look like you’re interested, make them feel at ease. But that face she pulls at me, well, not exactly pulls, but she doesn’t even smile, stuck up little…

“Oh, this?” she looks down at her glorious rack. “It’s from a club I joined when I started college.”

“What is it?” You’ve gotta be persistent, break down their defences. They like that. “Is that wrestling or something? You join the girl’s wrestling team?”

“Something, like that.” Still no smile. A more persuasive approach might be needed.

The pitchers flow. My round has come around.

“Hey Jonny, give me a hand, won’t you?” and her stupid bro agrees. He always does. I catch her looking at us as we head to the bar. She’s still a little shrew and we all know what little shrews need.

“Hey Jonny, I forgot my wallet. Stupid me. I don’t want to be a prick, but could you shout me a round and I’ll square up with you at work on Monday?”

“Sure thing,” he agrees. Of course, he agrees. He always agrees, the little pussy.

“It’s great having Sally back, eh? Just like old times. She’s so smart. Pre-law and a full academic scholarship. Did I tell you that?”

“You did,” about a million times, dumb ass.

God, they are stuck together like glue.

How am I going to get Jonny away from Sally? I can’t make any headway with her if he’s clung on. At this rate, they’ll be going home in a cab together to their mom and dad’s place.

Then it hits me. I am a clever sonofabitch, even if I do say so myself. Maybe I’m the one who should have gone to college. Time to be the good host.

“Let’s fill up again,” I say picking up the jug of beer. I’ve done a variation on this a dozen times or more. It’s real easy and just shows how dumb most people are. The size of the pouch is what matters. I got the idea from a Stephen King book, that one where that demon comes and punks that stupid little town and gets them all killing each other. Anyway, there’s this cop in it who does close-up magic, coin tricks and the like. He had this one with a bunch of paper flowers. You know the one, where they appear from nowhere in the magician’s hand. Well, the book describes it FEB 2017 | ISSUE 005 | 13

in a ton of detail and it gets me thinking. For the one and only time, I headed to the fricking library out of choice. I took out a book on close-up magic and found just what I needed.

There’s all these techniques for coin tricks, palming it’s called, which teaches you to hold coins in the creases of your palm or behind your fingers and, with a little miss direction, no one can see the trick. So, I made a small pouch out of paper, no wider than a finger.

I crush up the roofie, real fine, so that it is almost like chalk and put it in the pouch. Then with one hand pouring the drinks, the other hand palms the pouch behind the middle two fingers, which looks as though they are holding the glass. (Jesus, I shouldn’t be saying this: everyone will be doing it). As I pour the drink, I open the pouch and in drops the fine roofie powder. Beer is perfect: because of the color and bubbles the powder mixes right in and no one can see it. You can do it right in front of them and they’d never know.

I handed Jonny his roofied drink and then go to pour Sally one.

“I’m okay, thanks,” still no smile from her. “I’ve had enough. I’ll just have a water.”

Damn, only half the plan worked. I smile, palming the rest of the roofie into my pocket. Never mind. With the stupid brother out of the way, it’ll just be me and Sally.

Jonny gets groggy pretty quick.

“I’ll go to the bathroom and then take my brother home,” says Sally, getting up and giving Jonny a peck on the cheek and ruffling his hair.

Now’s my chance. Once the bathroom door swings shut I pick up Jonny under the arms and tell everyone I’ll help Sally get him into a cab.

“I love you, man,” he slurs on the way outside. Luck is on my side and a cab is just letting some people off at Jessie’s. I bundle Jonny into the back, giving the cabbie twenty dollars from Jonny’s wallet and his address.

The cab has already turned the corner when Sally comes outside.

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“Where’s my brother?”

“Oh, shit! I couldn’t find you and the cabbie was on his last fare so I gave him what was left in my wallet and sent your brother home.” She frowns a little. I smile, playing the well-meaning schmuck. She buys it. “Tell you what. I can walk you home, or at least until we find another cab.” She agrees.

Game time. The hunt is back on.

The good thing about a small town is, one, it is quiet and, two, we grew up here, so we know all the shortcuts and secluded places.

“A little cold tonight, isn’t it?” I say, trying my luck, putting my arm around her shoulders, guiding her down an alley that will cut about five minutes off our walk, and take us into the dark. This is something else I picked up from the close-up magic book: make them look at one thing to disguise the other thing you are really doing. I never thought Sally would accept my arm, not with the looks she’s been giving me all night, but in focussing on the arm she accepts the short cut, one I know she’s taken hundreds of times before. I take my arm away. It’s no big deal and change the subject, keeping it light as we head for the dark.

“Geez, I can’t believe Jonny. He was totally wasted,” I say.

“Yeah, me neither,” Sally rubs her arms against the cold.

We are far enough down the alley now, and this dumpster will give us a little privacy.

“Sure, let me give you my jacket.”

“No, really I’m fine,” she protests too much.

“Come on Sal,” I say putting my arm around her shoulders again and pulling her to my side, “you’ll freeze to death.”

“Jesus, get off me, you prick.”

“Now Sally, that’s no way to treat someone who’s just being friendly.”

“Well, I don’t want you being friendly.”

“Sure, you do. You’re only playing hard to get,” I tell her, because I know she’s the

kind of girl that needs telling, and I grab her by the shoulders, pushing her to the wall behind the dumpster.

“God, get your hands off me.”

I lean in for a kiss and two things happen at once. Sally’s head smashes into my nose and her knee comes up into my groin.

Thank God, for that cup in my jocks.

“You bitch,” I tell her, one hand at my bloody nose, the other gripping her skinny arm. I see my blood and then see red. No foreplay this time, I guess.

I go to slap her across the face and hit her free arm, which she brought up to block, but the force of it is enough to make her stumble. I lose grip on her arm and she falls back, hitting her head hard on the side of the dumpster. Sally is slumped, dazed, moaning something, which gives me time to check the alley.

All clear. Time to finish the hunt and go in for the kill.

This is my favorite bit. I drag her by the legs so that she’s lying down, and I can get to work on those tight jeans. I figure I can take my time, maybe give her a few more slaps if she wakes up, show her who’s boss.

Damn button is tricky. I feel her hand on mine as her other hand is reaching up for my neck. She’s coming too and I think, “see, you just got to treat them right and they’ll come around,” when Sally stuffs my hand between her legs as she pulls down on my neck. For another tiny moment, I think “slow down, girl,” as her legs wrap around my neck and one arm. Then things go wrong. I’m not the one hunting anymore.

Suddenly, her hips move somehow and those skinny legs of hers clamp down like a fricking vice. I can hardly breathe. I start to panic. With my free hand, the one not caught between her legs, I swing a punch at her head but it is weak and the bitch blocks it. I try my other hand, clawing, trying to grab her face or a tit or anything but Sally catches my wrist, pinning my pinky finger to her chest and then she did it. Sally moved my outstretched arm

over her hip bone and punched her hips to the stars. If I could have I would have screamed.

Instead, it came out as a muffled cry as my arm snapped at the elbow, bending back on itself at an unnatural angle. The pain was incredible and I tried to struggle with all my strength. She’s just some little girl. I’m going to slam her stupid ass into the concrete, but as I try to stand her arm hooks under my leg and I can’t get up. Sally pushes again on the arm she’s already destroyed and I scream, thinking of nothing but pain. The last thing I remember when she grabs the back of my head and pulls down, squeezing her choking legs, is the incredible pressure. It feels as though my head is going to pop. Little stars spark in my vision and all goes black.

These are not the words I expect to wake up to: “Son, you crapped yourself but that’s the least of your worries.” Chief Cameron stands over me in the alleyway, illuminated by red and blue flashing lights. I am handcuffed to an ambulance gurney, while an EMT wonders what the hell to do with my arm. Chief Cameron inspects the little pouch he found in my pocket. “Now son, stop screaming like a pussy. Although, that is what you are going to be doing down in Leavenworth.”

End Editor’s Note: Inappropriate comments, behavior, and sexual violence is never acceptable.

If you have experienced any of this, or know someone who has, know that it is okay to speak up against it, protect yourself or others, and/or seek help because those inappropriate actions and sexual violence are never okay.

For a comprehensive list of resources for survivors of sexual assault and their loved ones, visit: https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones

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Get a Grip on Being a Woman on the Mats It’s About Empowerment

By Ayesha Kamal

Y

ou may often hear that practicing Jiu-Jitsu is empowering and it helps you become empowered – but what does that really mean?

Literally, empowerment refers to “the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights” (Oxford Dictionary).

In terms of Jiu-Jitsu, the different obstacles and hurdles you often face while approaching and undergoing training all serve as a foundation to make you a more empowered individual. While these challenges are not specific to being a woman on the mats, participating in a male-dominated practice does lead to a few extra issues to get a grip on. Overcoming these demonstrates how empowerment lies at the heart of learning Jiu-Jitsu.

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Ignore the Doubt A concern I hear expressed often by women is worry that they will be the only woman on the mats and that men will not want to partner with them. This concern is understandable. More often than not, there will be more men than women training. This means that not only will you be among the very few women who show up to class, but also chances are that you will be partnered with a man. While this can be seen as something intimidating, it can also be seen as something emboldening.

By being a woman on the mats, you have already taken a big step in joining a practice that very few women do. Instead of viewing yourself as an outsider trying to fit in and belong, believe in yourself and acknowledge the bravery

it took to begin this endeavor in the first place.

That in itself is something to be proud of and celebrate.

As for worrying about whether or not men will want to partner with you, it is important not to doubt yourself or try to speculate what your partner is thinking. Approach each interaction with confidence – knowing you have the right to be there just as much as they do. Committing to being a good training partner and to continually working to improve your technique is all that matters. Initial hesitations soon fade away and as partners start to learn how to work with each other, regardless of their gender, the camaraderie develops and bonds strengthen.

Believing in yourself and acknowledging your self-worth – that’s empowerment.

Find Your Voice Some women have mentioned that they are afraid to speak up and ask questions for fear that they will be seen as weak or unknowledgeable. Additionally, many sometimes feel uncomfortable drilling certain positions or worry about aggressive sparring and therefore end up skipping classes. Many hesitations about

training do not get addressed because they are never voiced. Often this is because it can be nerve-wracking speaking up in a crowd, particularly if you think that your concerns will not be met without criticism or judgment. It is often assumed that once you join a group, your individual identity blends in with the others and an invisible set of guidelines about expected behavior is set. In a way this can be comforting, because once you have joined a group, you know that you have a network of supporters behind you. However, it is important to recognize that being part of a group does not mean that your individual needs do not matter.

It is essential to be active in creating a training environment that is most suitable for you.

Remember, you have the right to be there on the mats and learn. So ask questions if you have any. If you want to spar lightly, then speak up. If someone is going too hard, let them know.

If a position is painful, bring it to your partner’s attention. You are all there to learn and have the best, most productive experience possible. This applies to each person on the mat.

Let your training partner know ahead of time if there are any parameters you need to set – if you have an injury they need to be aware of or

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that you are not up for knee on stomach drills that day – it’s all ok! If your training partner has an issue with that, then they can find someone else to partner with, but more often than not, once you find a community you can trust, you will find that they will support you. However, you have to speak up first in order to be heard.

Learning to speak up and put yourself first – that’s empowerment.

Find the Calm amidst the Chaos Jiu-Jitsu, an art that was designed to empower the weak and help them defend themselves against those who are bigger and stronger, offers effective solutions to problematic situations. It teaches you how to stay calm when you are put under pressure. Once you learn how to defend yourself against someone who is trying to choke you or escape from under someone who is trying to pressure you down and control you, you take the confidence that knowledge brings and translate it to other areas of your life as well.

It is incredibly empowering to realize that no matter what the situation, nobody can take away your ability to choke someone or effec18 | ISSUE 005 | FEB 2017

tively apply a tight joint lock!

When you first start training, it can be overwhelming and chaotic. It can feel like it is impossible to escape from certain positions.

However, with time and practice, you learn the answers. Your technique improves; you start to develop your own strategy. You learn how to stay calm despite the pressure. Moves that once seemed impossible are executed with ease. Overcoming all the frustrations and doubts and realizing what your body can do really is an incredible, powerful discovery.

Realizing that size and strength have nothing to do with your abilities – that’s empowerment.

Break the Stereotype In our daily lives, dressing in a manner that we are comfortable in and styling ourselves in a certain fashion can help us feel confident.

When you strip those external elements away – super short nails, no make-up, tightly tied back hair that inevitably becomes completely unkempt after an energetic roll – it may feel like a protective layer has been removed. Add to that the physical moves of Jiu-Jitsu, the close contact nature, and the sweat and it may represent

something very far from someone’s image of what being ‘feminine’ looks like.

Removing that external layer, however, allows another type of beauty to emerge. It can actually be quite liberating to strip away all the external layers and realize that what shows up on the mats is just you and your technique. It is you and your body and your skill to manipulate angles and perfect timing so that you can negate another person’s size and strength and take the power on for yourself.

Your dedication to your practice will earn you respect and recognition from your peers.

Keep at it and you will no longer hear the statement, ‘She’s good … for a girl.’

It will change to – ‘She’s good.’

Being confident however and wherever you stand – that’s empowerment.

While the number of women is increasing in Jiu-Jitsu, it is still a male dominated practice.

Often it can be intimidating being one of perhaps a small handful of other women on the mats with more than double the number of men around you. Instead of letting that sway you, be proud that you are there – not many can do it and not many last (both men and women).

Embrace the opportunities it provides and grow from the struggles and successes.

Jiu-Jitsu gives you the tools to become stronger, more confident, and able to stand up for your rights – and that is the very definition of empowerment.

Full-stop.

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Rolling with Women

By David Greer

G

uys, imagine it. You’re sitting there minding your own business when a woman approaches, lies down in front of you, opens her legs and wraps them around your body, she then reaches up and pulls you close. Sounds like you’re about to have a good time. But it’s not what you think because while you’re still amazed at what’s taking place you realize too late that everything is going black.

This was not a hook up, it was Jiu-Jitsu training.

Jiu-Jitsu calls for very close physical contact between training partners, along with getting twisted up in rather compromising positions from time to time, and things can get iffy when gender gets thrown in the mix. For some of us guys, it can be a little nerve wracking to step onto the mats opposite a woman but keeping a few things in mind will make the experience easier.

First, we’re all there to train…

Not everybody is there to flirt. She may wrap her legs around you and press her body into yours but it doesn’t mean she’s there to hook 24 | ISSUE 005 | FEB 2017

up with you. It’s training. It reminds me of when a longtime friend of mine visited Hawaii for the first time because here in Hawaii men and women often greet each other with a kiss on the cheek, but that’s not so common where my friend and I grew up. I had to tell him that girls are going to kiss him but it doesn’t mean they like him. Same concept applies on the mats, and it works both ways. Just because somebody gets close to you doesn’t mean they want to get close to you.

Second, we’re all there to train…

Including the women. The idea of hitting a woman usually doesn’t sit well in a guy’s mind and neither does choking one. It can be difficult at first to separate the idea of hurting a woman with the idea of training martial arts. Consequently, some guys end up taking it really easy when partnered with a woman. And I mean really, really easy. At times the guy holds back so much that the woman might as well be rolling with a practice dummy.

Women who train Jiu-Jitsu want to train Jiu-Jitsu just like the guys do. We all want to try out that new submission, practice our escapes, work up a sweat and push ourselves to get better. And we can’t push ourselves when our partner offers up zero resistance. So don’t worry

about engaging with a female training partner.

Roll with them, go for sweeps and submissions, tap them out, and get tapped out because she wants to do the same.

Third, we’re all there to train...

Not get bullied. It’s an obvious reality that guys are physically larger and stronger than women.

As mentioned above, we want to engage with female training partners, but we don’t want to overpower and bully them with our size. That’s no fun and neither side gains anything, except for maybe a false ego boost for overpowering a person who weighs 60 pounds less than you.

So there’s a balance to find here.

To get an idea of how to find this balance, let’s consider the relationship between size and skill.

If two people are of equal skill but different size, the larger person often wins. It’s why there are weight divisions in boxing, mixed martial arts, and all combat sports. Weight divisions aren’t there because the smaller people are too quick for the larger people. The reality is that larger people are too big and strong for smaller people.

The match between Rafael Mendes and Rodolfo Vieira is a great example. Rafael displays incredible technique and skill but Rodolfo, who outweighed Rafael by about 60 pounds, was

too much to handle and claimed victory. Bottom line, it takes a great degree of skill to overcome a size difference.

Every time a guy spars with a woman he has the size and strength advantage by default. To put it in perspective, imagine having to spar with somebody that’s 5 inches taller than you and 60 pounds heavier. At the time of writing this I’m 5’11 and 190 lbs. That would be like me sparring with somebody whose 6’4 and 250 lbs. Assuming we’re the same skill level, this person would crush me.

The only way two people with that kind of size difference could spar productively is if the larger person scales back their strength a little bit.

That way both practice some technique and put in some good work and the smaller person can walk away without getting crushed, injured, or feeling like a dejected ragdoll. It’s useful for us guys to keep that perspective in mind when rolling with a woman. We can scale back the use of strength but keep the speed and technique normal so we can all practice and improve.

The main point in all of this is to say let’s be aware of who we roll with in training. We’re all there to train and get better so let’s practice our techniques with each other so we can all do just that.

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SHA

AB

Photo | Ander Brinckmeyer

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ANTI

BELHA

Shanti Ananda Damasceno Abelha Rank: Black Belt, 1st degree Years of training: 12 Years Lineage: Mitsuyo Maeda > Carlos Gracie > Helio Gracie > Rolls Gracie > Romero Cavalcanti > Leonardo Vieira / Shimon Mochizuki > Shanti Abelha Height: 169cm Comp Weight: Middle Weight Gym: ArteSuave/CheckMat

Photo | Ander Brinckmeyer

What got you started in BJJ, and did your parents want a different path for you?

I started fairly late, so I was way beyond the reach of my parents by then!!! Hahaha.

Hmm, always did a lot of sports since I was a child gymnastics, football (soccer), basketball, etc. Then in early-20s I did some Wing Tsun Kung Fu for self-defense, and was introduced to BJJ through that - changed to BJJ because I felt it was more effective for women’s self-defense, but stayed because I love it.

What is your biggest accomplishment, or what are you most proud of in the art, or in life?

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Probably the fact that I’ve gotten consistently decent results in competition and am always improving my game while managing a fairly intense business career at the same time.

What one or two things do you currently do in your training that are keys to your success? (And/or what are one or two things you stopped doing that has been beneficial)?

I always do at least a little prehab/rehab mobility work now - a little goes a long way, and the harder I train BJJ (sparring), the more I have to do.

Getting closer to competition, I always find time to drill extra - just 1-2 hours a week makes

a huge difference in my game.

I stopped training too much, and I stopped only training/ sparring for competition - and I’m better than ever.

What would be your ultimate achievement?

I really wanted to win Black Belt World’s in Adult. I got 3rd place five times, but it will always bother me that I didn’t get the gold.

When you first started training, who did you idolized (or look up to) in the art?

Argh, too many people to count, and it’s always the same “types” of people named anyway. My coaches,

my daily training partners, and even many of my opponents inspire me.

out more - if I am not focusing on training then I’ll be more relaxed about it and just do what I have the energy for. At other times when preparing for something, or if I just feel like a period with hard training, I’ll micromanage my time and plan everything around having time for training, and then just suck it up and stop complaining about not having enough energy in my head. Plus a little mindfulness/meditation.

are trying to improve. I see too many people try and throw in something random they saw, and it just doesn’t work.

Do you have any recommended resources to share (books, seminars, websites, coaches)?

I am still in denial.

I do very little “youtube”-jits.

Don’t have time for it, and I have enough stuff to work on as it is. I don’t dismiss the use of videos and things, but it has to incorporated into a solid base in whatever game you

“Don’t let competitions get in the way of your training” (as in, don’t let focus on competition training and A-game prevent you getting better).

So, find a great coach, train at a good gym, and find yourself a fantastic training partner who will help point out your mistakes.

What point did you realize this was going to be your life?

What was the best advice you were ever given?

What is your biggest challenge (or hurdle......when preparing for a match/when teaching/ when training) and what do your do to manage this challenge?

Time, energy (restitution) and mental focus.

I feel I can’t make enough time for training, and when I do, my restitution is not what it was 10 years ago so I can’t train as hard. And when I can, I am often mentally tired from work etc.

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Photo | Ander Brinckmeyer 30 | ISSUE 005 | FEB 2017

When you’re not kicking ass, or training to kick ass, what do you like to do?

One thing no one knows or very few people know about you.

I read once in a while, and dabble a bit with photography.

I hated BJJ the first few months I trained it.

What one thing do you hate doing?

Extra cardio if I have to do it alone.

When did you start crossfit, and do you follow their workouts or did they create one for you specifically for BJJ? I started some basic strength training almost ten years ago, and started at a crossfit gym here in Copenhagen about two years ago. I still mostly do basic barbell strength work, as well as some olympic weightliftning. I don’t follow the gym’s WODs or classes, when I actually need to do some extra crossfit workouts I do my own, or team up with some of the real crossfit athletes training there.

If you could spar or choke anyone in the world that doesn’t train jiu-jitsu, who would that be?

I think chokes should be kept to the mats, this world has enough violence as it is.

Peace!

What frightens you?

Not much in everyday situations, but in a greater perspective, I am a little scared of the direction in which our world is going in general. Very little tolerance and respect.

Do you have a Jiu Jitsu bucket list?

No, but I do think it’s cool to train in different countries and with different people when I travel!

Rapid Fire - Quickly say the first thing that comes to mind when you hear these words or phrases: You can’t - if you don’t want to Sport BJJ - Yes Beauty - Is something you hold Toughness - Shut up and build it up Steroids - Too much of it around

Hidden talent?

Closing out a bracket - Fine with a close teammate

None, but I am good at learning whatever I put my mind to.

White belts - Help them but be careful

How many languages do you speak?

3 fluently: English, Portuguese, and Danish.

Seeing that your boyfriend is new to BJJ, and a white belt, who wins most of the arguments?

We never argue. HAHAHAHA just kidding.

I do feel like choking him sometimes but we argue fairly equally.

Ever think about making the crossover to MMA? Nope, too old for that, and I don’t want to get my face smashed. But I’ve started training a Pro MMA fighter in no-gi.

And even rolled a little with gloves and light punches..

Any shout outs?

Shoyoroll!! Eternally Shoyoroll.

My supplement sponsor MyProtein.

And my coaches, and training partners, boyfriend, and family.

If you’re interested in hosting Shanti Abelha for seminars, or dropping into her gym in Denmark you can reach her here on Facebook, or at queenpearl@yahoo.com.

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The Fight for Feminism, and the Fight game for Self Defense A Conscious Response to the Actions of our Fathers and Brothers

By Tanvir Mosharraf

N

ayla (not real name) was dressed all pretty and headed for Dhaka University, the oldest and largest public university in Bangladesh on the 1st day of the Bengali calendar 1422. It was April 14th, 2015 in the English chart of days and, Teacher-Student Centre (TSC) was experiencing its annual buzz of activities.

People of all ages, young and old, all gender, men and women, flocked to the campus. They dressed to impress, mostly in red and white, wearing traditional Bangladeshi attire of Sari, Panjabi, and other exotic garments to show off their beauty. The vicinity in and around the celebration points had a 32 | ISSUE 005 | FEB 2017

heavy police presence. Unfortunately, this episode of pohela boishakh (Bengali New Year) celebrations was tainted when gangs of unruly youth sexually assaulted women in public in a quest to strip the women off their clothes. To Nayla’s fugal tragedy, it is alleged that cops sheltered the assailants and let them walk away!

Across the world in Hawaii, Eva (not real name) was having drinks with her then boyfriend. He was intoxicated and wanted to force himself on to her. However, unlike Nayla, Eva was trained in BJJ. She said out “NO!’’ but he did not listen to her. In response, she submitted him using a triangle choke to put him in his place, and they broke up. Word is: he learned to behave.

Two women, attacked for their beauty, two different consequences!

“It’s not my responsibility to be beautiful.

I’m not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.” Warsan Shire, writer, poet, editor and teacher.

In Dhaka a group of women got together.

They pondered on the injustice done to Nayla. Perhaps, they were inspired by stories like Eva? They felt if a guy was assaulted, he could call up his homies and there would be a blood bath! But, since the victim was a woman it was a one sided barrage. They decided to be proactive and do something about it.

A movement started.

They called it Shokti (Strength) Network, based on friendship of women, which faced both criticism and praise.

“The disapprovals came from all fabric of society, bearded religious men, women themselves, insecure men!’’ says Nushrat Farhana, an active member of Shokti Network. When she first met sensei Abdullah Mohammad Hossain, a friend of the feminist movement, it was the last thing Nushrat perceived him to be. Abdullah was a practicing conservative Muslim and gave that appearance with his beard. Standing 6 feet tall, he holds a Sandan (black belt 3rd Dan) in Kyokushin Karate. His commitment to Islam and Kyokushin intertwines.

Often, he performs Salth (obligatory prayers) in between his Karate sessions at KO Fight Studio. Some of his students join him in the ritual.

“Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me

wear your shoes.” George Carlin, comedian, social critic, actor and author.

Abdullah, like a lot of men in our society did not realize the extent of abuse women in Bangladesh had to endure. In the mindset of a naïve karateka, he usually asks his students ‘’so why do you want to learn to fight?’’

As the girls began to trust him they filled him up with stories vividly illustrating situations and the need for self-defense.

In Bangladesh, it is very common for queues to be undisciplined and uncontrolled with people lacking basic courtesy while lining up in places such as bus station. In the commotion, guys intentionally touch or grab women’s private areas and disappear in the crowd before the victim realizes and recovers from the initial shock of being humiliated. Again, Bangladesh has more than its fair share of crowded bus and poorly constructed roads. Often the men shove into women, not minding their private space while blaming their intrusion on the situation unapologetically. There was an incident when a guy was poking a girl from the back seat by squeezing his hand in-between the seats. Abdullah, who felt that he was in denial, as he could not grasp the depth of the situation, wondered how sleazy men could be in a Muslim society where sex was considered taboo in public.

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Abdullah felt that this criminal mentality of the society has to be dealt with firmly. He began conducting self-defense seminars for women. Flocks of women, mostly from Shokti began attending it. It even received sponsorship from an app that had almost 5 million likes on facebook. About 80% of the apps audience is male.

He also encouraged female membership at his dojo. It did not come without critique. “I was once asked ‘Brother, as a Muslim man, how can I teach women Karate,’ imagine the society we live in’’ smirks Abdullah.

A blend of conscience and opportunity inspires Abdullah to further promote KO Fight Studio to women for a mixture of Kyokushin Karate and BJJ. To him, combining stand up and ground techniques make you a complete fighter and prepared to defend your territory. However, Abdullah issues a disclaimer in his seminars: “You can’t learn to fight after a couple of hours of self-defense seminar at KO Fight Studio.

You have to enroll for a program, train 2-4 times a week, and, after 3 or 4 years you’ll see a miracle when you look back.’’

It is still unclear how the women will deal with the larger society. The vibe in the air is the ambiguity on what will happen if a girl protests? Will the men team up to further assault the women if she protests being mo34 | ISSUE 005 | FEB 2017

lested? Is there anything that can be done to instigate positive behavioral change in society?

Abdullah feels that everyone should play his or her role. He tells me “You, as a member of the civil society should work with a nonprofit organization on programs to make our society a better place.

At KO Fight Studio, I do my part by teaching women to fight back.’’

It seems that KO Fight studio is keeping its pledge. One such indicator is Irtifa, a feminist who started training under Abdullah about 9 months ago. “No one will stand up for me if I am attacked! I have to fight my fight.’’ she says.

This leads for me to ponder on the question, is this a quiet revolution? They say Capoeira was created in Brazil by slaves, masked in disguise as a dance to train against the masters. Today, the struggle of the slaves resulted in a more assembled society.

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress’’ Frederick Douglass It took someone like Ronda Rousey to get women in the UFC despite Dana White stating that women will never fight in the UFC. I am amazed at how far they have come against all odds.

94-366 Pupupani Street Unit 209A Waipahu, Hawaii 96797

Ricky Ridela

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