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100 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK...

Telephone for police station under consideration Compiled by Brodie Cowburn CR MASON drew attention to the disturbance that had occurred at Frankston on the previous Saturday, and the necessity that existed for additional police protection and also the installing of telephone service at the police station. It was false economy not to have the telephone at police station. The lack of it allowed men to get 50 miles away before the police could be informed, and cost the country pounds to effect their capture. He moved that the Council feel they have implicit confidence in the Officer in Charge, that he is tactful and one of the most efficient officers ever in Frankston. Cr Clements seconded the motion, and it was carried unanimously. *** MRS E. Henderson and family desire to thank their many friends for kind expressions of sympathy, letters and cards received during their recent sad bereavement in the death of their beloved son and brother Pte D. Henderson, killed in action somewhere in France, 20th September 1917. *** MRS Dent and family desire to thank their many friends for visits of sympathy and cards received during their recent sad bereavement in the death of their dearly beloved son and brother, Pte Alfred James Dent killed in action some where in France on the 16th Oct 1917 *** Vast Plans of Y.M.C.A. AN indication of the vast projects of the Y.M.C.A is given in a message just received by the National Com

mitte if that organisation in Australia from Dr John R Nott, General Secretary of the International Committee of Y.M.C.A.’s at New York. “We have been deeply impressed, writes Dr Mott, by the remarkable service you have rendered in Australia to your troops overseas. The example of what you have done has not been without its influence on our plans. At the recent meeting of our National War Council where we reported your work, it, was decided that we raise and spend before July 1st, 1918, a fund of about £7,296,000. This will be used in furthering the Association work in the American Army, in the armies of Russia, France, Italy, and other allies and in the prisoner of war camps.” *** THE Wattle Club Committee most heartily thank all those who assisted in every possible way to give the visiting French soldiers a good time on Tuesday last. It was a huge undertaking to prepare luncheon and afternoon tea for 1.000 people, but the undoubted success proves once more, the splendid unity and sympathy which exists in the Frankston people. *** DURING shunting operations at Seaford on Thursday afternoon two empty trucks attached to the 9 a.m. Melbourne train to Frankston were derailed. Passenger traffic was in no way interfered with, however, and practically no damage was done to either rolling stock or permanent way. The train was delayed at Seaford

for about two hours, consequent upon the mishap. *** THE Royal Life Saving Club will visit Frankston next Sunday afternoon to give a demonstration of life saving with the object of opening a club at Frankston. *** MR L R N. Utber has been appointed a Commissioner of the Supreme Court of the State of Victoria for taking affidavits. *** A PUBLIC meeting is called by the President of the Shire at the Frankston Mechanics Institute on Friday evening next to consider the preservation of the late ‘Hermits” place of residence. *** A CORDIAL invitation is extended to all who are interested in Red Cross work, to attend a “Snowball Tea” at Mrs Moloney’s Pier Hotel, on Wednesday afternoon next. *** VERY necessary improvements have been made recently at Langwarrin Camp. A fine gateway now marks the entrance, which gives to the camp an appearance of stability and permanence. The carriage way has been greatly improved, fresh beds and lawns have been added to the gardens. The addition of a fish pond and fountain gives pleasure to sightseers, while a greenhouse will be much appreciated this summer. *** Shire news FOR the position of ranger at Somer-

ville the application of C.E Gumm was accepted, duties to start from 1st December, on the motion of Cr Murray, seconded by Cr Longmuir. Cr Clements reported that he has made inquiries with regard to vacancies in the Benevolent Asylum, and was informed that there were not at present but there would he one in a few days: - It was decided that Cr Longmuir interview the old man Holman, who is a Crimean veteran and see if he is willing to go to the asylum. F. H. Wells, ranger at Frankston, complaining that a young man named Smith rescued two horses from him which he was taking to the pound on 15th November—Cr Clements moved and Cr Mason seconded that the Secretary take proceedings against Smith for rescuing the horses. Carried. Cr Murray complained of the damage done to roads and brides by the pine carters. He estimated it would cost £200 or £300 to repair them and he moved that an inspection be made and damages assessed wit a view to some action being taken. Seconded by Cr Unthank and carried. *** A CONCERT in aid of the proposed Methodist Church building, to be erected on a central site given by Mrs Goodson, was held in the School, on Friday evening, November 23rd. Rev E. Tonkin of Frankston was chairman. The programme was contributed to by visiting and local performers, all the items of which appeared to be appreciated by an audience which,

considering the threatened weather, was highly satisfactory. *** THE Social Club held another Novelty Night on Saturday, which was well attended. \ The lady’s prize was won by Miss J Ross and Mr Sullivan was the successful gentleman. Next Wednesday, 5th December, Brigadier General Williams will unveil the School Honor Roll and name the avenue where the trees are planted in honor of our brave soldiers. A good attendance is expected. We hope that all the friends of the soldiers will come along and make this day a success. *** WANTED Horse, suitable for orchard and General work. Trial required. Apply J. SMITH, Mt. Eliza. *** WANTED to buy Large pine trees, cut or standing, highest prices. E. MACPHERSON, Warburton St., East Brunswick. Phone Bwk. 795. *** ALEX Scott & Co. Pty. Ltd. will hold a special stock sale in the Corporation Yard adjoining the Tanti Hotel. when they will offer:—300 head store and dairy cattle 300 x br ewes 2 tooth to full mouth 250 xbr wethers 2 and 4 tooth 200 Merino wethers 4 to 6 tooth. *** From the pages of the Mornington Standard, 1 December1917

THE MEANING OF EXISTENCE... AND OTHER SHORT STORIES

A Story You Couldn’t Makeup By Stuart McCullough I AM somewhat plain looking. Don’t bother trying to convince me I’m wrong – I know it’s true. I could try and deny it but my features have never quite hung properly on my face. They’re like a painting after an earth tremor. I’m more your character actor than leading man. Not that I always knew it. For years I thought every camera I ever came across was defective in that they all consistently failed to render what I regarded as an appropriate likeness. Until the somewhat appropriately titled ‘ugly truth’ dawned on me – these cameras aren’t broken, this is what I really look like. The only thing worse than being kind of plain looking is the tyranny of acne. It is something of a cosmic joke that just at the moment you become interested in others is the moment your facial pores stage a full-blown insurrection. Like most teenagers, I despaired at the dermatological mutiny to which I was subjected and prayed daily for some kind of miracle. Every potential cure was worth trying. From old-wives tales to potion-spruiking carnival huckster; I was up for just about anything. I slept with the window open, even in winter, because someone told me it would be good for my complexion. I’m not sure it made my face any fresher but it certainly gave me a healthy respect for frostbite. I drank a tall glass of water every morning having heard that this would help cleanse my system. My father suggested drinking the water that had been used to boil the silverbeet, but forgot to tell

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me that I should let it cool down first. I’ll say this much – you’re unlikely to be worried about blemishes when you’ve got third-degree burns on your chin. They would arrive, unwelcome and uninvited. There was nothing worse than waking up on a school day and sensing that a pimple that, much like the Great Wall of China and Chadstone Shopping Centre, could be seen

Frankston Times 27 November 2017

from space now possessed your face. If my brothers and sisters avoided eye contact and kept as far away as possible as we passed in the hallway, I knew it was going to be an absolute whopper. The moment of truth would ultimately arrive when I had to look at myself in the mirror and ask, just as Hamlet did in his ubiquitous soliloquy; ‘To squeeze or not to squeeze.

That is the question.’ I guess I became accustomed to it, never thinking that it would one day end. And then, without warning, I got a glimpse of a world that was completely blemishfree. I discovered makeup. I did what any self-respecting teenager with low levels of confidence would do under the circumstances – I entered a public speaking competition because my teacher suggested it might be a good idea and I didn’t want to upset anyone. I was, naturally, terrified. But although the speaking bit seemed like an out of body experience, the writing part of it was kind of enjoyable. I even managed to win a prize. Which, in turn, led to an offer to perform my speech on ‘Behind the News’, an educational news program for school kids. It was my first and, frankly, last time in a television studio. I was a bundle of nerves – making me easy to transport – and before I really knew what was happening, I was sitting in a chair having makeup applied to my face. I could scarcely believe the transformation I was witnessing. Teenage acne disappeared as my pale complexion was replaced by something very close to ‘swarthy’. I looked like one of George Hamilton’s nephews. The filming took an hour or so and as I stepped away from the bright lights of the studio I was intercepted by the makeup artist who offered to remove the brown, gunky veneer that had been so expertly applied to my face. Having glimpsed the art of the possible, there was no way I was

going to give up my new blemishfree existence. I felt confident, I felt self-assured. I even felt a little bit handsome. Instead of having my face cleaned up, I waved the make-up artist away and headed back to school. My classmates were impressed. Or, at least, I think they were. As I strolled around the schoolyard, they laughed and pointed at me while singing songs in my honour before eventually burning me in effigy on the oval. It was the first time I’d ever felt the admiration of my peers. For the rest of the day, I sat up straight in the classroom. I feared nothing, not even Maths B, which was incredible because I really wasn’t very good at Maths A, much less the rest of the alphabet. But it was too good to last. I went to bed that night without the window open, having not drunk the water that the silverbeet had just been boiled in and felt like the King of the World. It wasn’t to last. As I awoke from my slumber the following morning, I lifted my face from the pillow only to discover that the pillowcase looked as if it had been caked in mud. On this occasion, not only did my siblings avoid eye contact, a couple of them shrieked in horror as I made my way towards the bathroom. The mirror confirmed the worst. I was back to my pale, plain self. Perhaps it was for the best – I’d already ruined a pillowcase. I had to face up to the truth. stuart@stuartmccullough.com

27 November 2017  
27 November 2017  

Frankston Times 27 November 2017

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