Stephen Ministry

Christ Caring for People

Below please find excerpts from an article written by Sheri Samotin outlining a sensible, general approach for one to think about when caring for aging parents. If you are interested in the entire article, you can find it at www.agingcare.com.

Sheri Samotin brings more than 30 years of business and management experience to LifeBridge Solutions. She is the author of Facing the Finish: A Road Map for Aging Parents and Adult Children.

Following a few simple rules can make a world of difference in the way that you provide care. Above all else, remember to be aware of your actions, your words, your tone and how these things affect your elderly parents. Self-awareness is crucial for keeping even your best intentions in check, altering your approach when necessary and apologizing when you overstep your parents’ boundaries.

Let Aging Parents Take the Lead

If possible, do tasks alongside your parents instead of for them. While this approach might take longer than if you just did things yourself, you allow Mom and Dad to retain some of their independence by letting them take the lead. This can have beneficial effects on your parents’ self-esteem and keep their functional abilities sharp.

Be Respectful

Ask permission before you just jump in. For example, when you take your parent to a doctor’s appointment, don’t just assume that they want you to come into the examination room with them. Instead, ask if they’d like you to be there the whole time, or if you should just come in toward the end of the visit to make sure YOUR questions are answered.

Set Up Safety Nets

Regardless of how much your aging parents ask for or accept your help, do your best to set up a support system that keeps them safe and intrudes on their regular routine as little as possible. A medical alert system is a good example. Wearable pendants are relatively unobtrusive and provide peace of mind for both you and your parents should they have a medical emergency or an accident like a fall. Look into assistive devices, such as medication organizers and mobility aids, that can make activities of daily living (ADLs) easier for them. Simple home modifications like grab bars can provide added safety and security as well.

Prioritize Their Well-Being

If your parent is behaving recklessly, neglecting themselves or endangering their own safety, then stepping in is in their best interest and you may need to be more forceful about it. This scenario happens often when a parent is experiencing cognitive issues. Seniors with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia may not be aware that their abilities have changed and continue trying to adhere to their normal routines even though it isn’t safe. Memory loss and poor judgement can make even the simplest daily activities risky or downright dangerous. At that point, it is your job to intervene despite their protests.

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