25 minute read
High Impact Feedback
Feedback is information about past behavior delivered in the present which may impact future behavior. Ken Blanchard says that “Feedback is the breakfast (and lunch, dinner and midnight snack) of champions.” Why is feedback so important? In a nutshell, without it, you don’t know what you are doing well and how you can improve.
Positive feedback is used to thank and praise other people. It is easy to give and doesn’t take much pre-planning. Constructive feedback is clearly more difficult, but it is essential for productive relationships and workplaces. Over my career, I have observed that most people don’t do constructive feedback very well. Why? Because we tend to avoid conflict and don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings.
Advertisement
So, what can we do? Here are some essentials to delivering constructive feedback in a professional and effective manner.
• Don’t initiate a feedback conversation when you are angry.
It will never go well! Practice the pause and come back to it when you are in a calmer state of mind.
• Make sure that you have balanced positive feedback with constructive feedback over time. Some sources say that we need three instances of positive feedback to every criticism to maintain a positive relationship.
• Prepare in advance!
The model shared below can be very helpful.
• Tell the story of what happened, focusing on the behavior and not the person or their intentions.
• Make the feedback specific, actionable, and timely (as close to the event as possible).
• Use a feedback loop to make sure the other person understood what you communicated.
• Tailor your feedback approach to the individual. Not everyone responds to feedback in the same way. Some like it direct and others may need you to sugarcoat it a bit. In my work as a Human Resources Consultant, I teach the 4- step BEAN model to guide constructive feedback conversations. Here is how it works:
1. Describe the Behavior Be descriptive, timely, and use “I” statements.
2. Describe the actual or potential
Effect of the behavior
Share what happened or what could happen because of the behavior.
3. Ask for input and explore alternatives
Pause and ask the other person to share their thoughts.
4. Determine Next steps.
Work together towards a mutually agreeable solution.
Let’s work through an example:
Negative Nelly is a member of a project team you are leading. In the meeting today, you asked team members for their suggestions and Nelly said, “I don’t know why you are asking. You are going to do what you want anyway.” After the meeting, you decide that you are going to give Nelly feedback. You could approach the situation as follows using the BEAN model:
1. Behavior – Nelly, I was bothered by a comment that you made in the meeting today. When I asked for feedback, you said you didn’t know why I was asking because I was going to do what I wanted anyway.
2. Effect – This seemed to make others hesitant to share and took the meeting in a negative direction.
3. Ask for input – What makes you feel this way? Is there a reason that you feel that your comment needed to be shared in that forum? What else would you like to share about the situation?
4. Next steps – So, next time you have a concern related to the project, you will share it with me privately and we can discuss it, rather than in a public forum.
Will these feedback conversations always go well? Despite your best efforts, you may run into defensiveness or deflection at times. However, using these tips can help increase the potential for success. As a result, you will have more effective relationships, more engaged team members, and a stronger organization.
Megan Black
MEGANBLACKPHOTOGRAPHY.COM
BY TARYN JEREZ OF ONECRAFTYMISS.COM 3 Mindset Shifts to Celebrate in Your Business
This column is meant to serve as a resource for readers who seek inspiration and knowledge for building their own small business brands. Through actionable advice, find the encouragement to help you keep living your life with hustle and heart.
Landing new clients or selling out of your latest product release are exciting, but doing business in ways that honor the way you actually want to be doing business is on a whole other level! Unfortunately, it can become too easy to say “yes” to the things you don’t want to be doing or keep working in ways that don’t feel good due to things like fear, scarcity or insecurity.
Mindset matters, friend! After 6 years of working with women as they tackle their business goals, I can tell you with 100% certainty that mindset is the biggest barrier that we face as we work towards success. It takes a whole lot of intention to overcome those feelings but there’s magic on the other end waiting for you.
While there are so many opportunities to celebrate growth as a business owner, I’m sharing three major mindset shifts that deserve all the confetti! #2 BOUNDARIES #3 PIVOTING
#1 PRICING
One of the most common sources of insecurity of business owners I’ve worked with comes from pricing! There are so many “what ifs” and “am I doing this right?” thoughts bouncing around with the common theme of comparison. It takes a lot of mindset growth to price your work confidently and let go of other people’s opinions on what’s too high or too low. When you create a pricing strategy surrounding the value you provide in your business, paired with the financial goals you have both professionally and personally, there is such a positive change in your mindset. When you know the “why” behind your prices, you become more confident in your pricing. This leads to easier selling conversations, more accurate sales goals and a clearer growth strategy long term. I have a client who sent me a voice message sharing how excited she was to say “no” to one of her social media clients on something that was outside of her project scope. Can I just tell you that the energy on the other side of her voice message was dripping with pride. And you know what? That’s how it should be. So often business owners feel like they have to say “yes” to every ask and opportunity that comes their way in order to be successful. The reality is that by drawing a healthy line for you and your clients you create a business relationship that has clear expectations and avoids burnout. The best thing you can do is create boundaries that embrace what you need. Have you ever heard the saying, “the most dangerous phrase is “we’ve always done it this way”? Never get stuck doing something in your business just because you’ve always done it. No longer want to offer custom work? Remove it from your website. Don’t love shooting newborn photos as a photographer? Simply stop saying yes to those shoots and refer to someone else. When you embrace the act of pivoting in your business it lets you say “no ‘’ to things that aren’t serving you anymore and embrace something new! Allowing yourself to dream about what’s next and different in your business keeps it feeling good and can lead to more success!
Hustle & Heart Challenge
This month, challenge yourself to examine the areas in your business in which you feel held back by your mindset. Are you doing too much or just not enough of what brings you joy? Are you not making enough sales or simply not pricing your offers according to their value? Consider sharing your struggles with a mentor, coach or business friend who understands and can help you talk it through.
Trellis
Fourth Street ARt & Frame
Fourth Street Art & Frame
is a custom frame shop with a storefront gallery that focuses on original art by Winston-Salem and NC artists.
BY AMY HILL
Although I’m no travel planning guru, I have learned a thing or two about making plans run smoothly when it comes to leaving the country. Here are lessons I’ve learned along the way that will save you time and energy during international travel.
TIP #1: GET FAMILIAR WITH GOOGLE MAPS
The primary tool I use for travel planning is Google Maps. In fact, I don’t know how people traveled before Google came to be. Not only am I able to determine which neighborhoods I want to stay in based on the restaurants in the area and/or a neighborhood’s proximity to a city’s various attractions, but I can also use the street view function to take a virtual walk down the neighborhood’s roads to get a feel for a potential accommodation’s surroundings. In many situations, I have used the street view tool ahead of my trip to “practice” walking to and from my hotel or vacation rental to a certain location in order to avoid looking like a lost tourist (i.e., a target for scammers or pickpockets). What’s even greater about Google Maps is your ability to download offline maps ahead of your trip that help you navigate when you have no cell service or Wi-Fi – a situation you don’t want to find yourself in when you’re in unfamiliar territory.
TIP #2: PRIORITIZE CONVENIENCE OVER COST
Unless you’re traveling for work, the idea behind taking a trip abroad is to have fun and experience novelty. I’m a firm believer in spending a few extra dollars every now and then to make myself comfortable as opposed to being frugal to a fault. While there’s a time and a place for frugality, it’s necessary to treat a vacation as such. While this doesn’t mean booking thousands of dollars’ worth of first-class airplane tickets, I do encourage travelers to pay the minute upcharge for little luxuries such as seat selections. The last thing you want is to be stuck in the middle seat for over eight hours regretting not spending an additional $45 to book a window or aisle seat ahead of time for comfort. TIP #3: KEEP SPONTANEITY TO A MINIMUM
A trip to Myrtle Beach leaves plenty of room for spontaneity, but a transatlantic trip to Prague does not. In today’s postCOVID world, it’s important to do your research and stay updated on the current events and political happenings of your destination. If the news is showing an upturn in political unrest or economic hardship, it might be a better idea to choose another country for the time being. For the six months prior to my trip to Italy in November 2021, I kept tabs on the COVID-19 infection rates for each region of Italy to determine which region would be least likely to re-enter lockdown if the situation worsened. In the process, I learned so much about Italy’s pandemic trends and policies as a byproduct of my obsessive preparation that I should have become Italy’s next prime minister.
TIP #4: DON’T CHECK LUGGAGE
There are virtues to packing light, despite what your urge to pack four pairs of shoes for a two-week trip is telling you. Keep in mind that many streets in Europe are made of cobblestones, and the city centers in many popular European cities are pedestrian only. Whatever you pack will follow you over cobblestones, staircases, and onto public transportation, and other countries aren’t always as elevator-obsessed as the United States. There’s also the ever-increasing chance of your luggage getting lost as the airlines iron out their post-pandemic staffing and scheduling issues. Stick to cabin-only luggage and pack a modest amount of versatile, neutral-colored clothing to save space in your suitcase. Going to a local laundromat and grabbing a coffee nearby as your clothes wash and dry can be a cultural experience in itself, so don’t be afraid to pack less to relieve yourself of the burden of heavy luggage.
Molly + Jack Yeager
8.5.2022 | Vines Studios
Declan Harold Powell Hannah + Aaron Rothrock
Hannah & Aaron Rothrock got married on May 7, 2022 at Olivet Moravian Church in Winston-Salem. They had a beautiful, rainy wedding day and spent an unforgettable honeymoon in St. Lucia. Photo by Becca’s Pics
Happy 1st Birthday to Palmer!
We Love you!
Wells Robert Wham Braxton Lee Posey
was born 3.17.22 in Newberg, OR. Justin and Melissa Posey are proud first time parents!
COURTNEY MILLESON
Courtney Milleson is a board-certified Physician Assistant at Digestive Health Specialists. She attended college in her hometown of Wilmington, NC and received her Bachelor of Science degree from the University of North Carolina at Wilmington, where she graduated with honors in exercise science and a minor in Biology. She then went on to complete her Master of Physician Assistant Studies from High Point University. Courtney moved to WinstonSalem in 2019. She is currently a member of the American Academy of Physician Assistants. Courtney enjoys exercising and cooking with her husband. She attends Two Cities Church with her husband on the weekends.
LORI MARTIN
Lori Martin is the founder and CEO of Featherpick Boutique & Gift Shop which started as an Etsy company. “I finally took a leap of faith and opened a storefront in 2020 in King that turned into a boutique/gift shop,” said Lori. “I thank God for everything He has blessed me with.” Lori is also spray tan certified and owns a tanning salon called Silver Wings Wellness and Tanning. In her spare time, Lori loves spending time with horses, riding four wheelers and outfishing her husband! She also enjoys time with her husband, Jay, and her three kids, Levi, Lacie and Lane. “And, I wouldn’t be where I am today without my parents, Larry and Linda, my best friend, Megan and my former boss and best friend, Loretta!”
KRISTINA EBBINK
Kristina Ebbink was born in Ontario, Canada and grew up primarily in Southern California. A graduate of the University of California at San Diego, she worked in the travel industry until her husband’s career brought them to Winston-Salem in 1995. Living on the opposite coast from friends and family, Kristina discovered volunteer opportunities at The Little Theatre of Winston-Salem as a way to meet new people in the area. She and her husband ended up meeting a network of friends who became like family, and they have been involved with the company ever since. Kristina has worked, on and off, as the marketing director for The Little Theatre for more than 13 years and recently felt the need to focus on the heart of the organization, which has always been its volunteers. “I’ll never forget how welcomed we felt to both The Little Theatre and to Winston-Salem when we moved here,” said Kristina. “As the volunteer coordinator, I want to make sure that sense of community continues to thrive and grow.” When she’s not “doing theatre,” Kristina works with her husband, Kevin, who owns Compass Financial Services, and enjoys traveling, enjoying time with friends and family (who moved here!) and, of course, seeing plays and musicals.
Holli Houck is a registered nurse and owner of Wholistic Nursing Solutions. She earned her degree in nursing from Gardner-Webb before achieving her registered nursing degree from Wilkes Community College. She is a certified infection preventionist, wound care specialist and was a nominee for the Daisy Award. “I have lived in Winston Salem for eight years after relocating from West Jefferson,” said Holli. “I have worked in the senior living industry for 10 years of my career. I have also worked in public health and the hospital setting. My passion is to provide quality care to the citizens of the Triad and to serve their families with support and empathy. I have the pleasure of working with the most amazing people, patients and community professionals. I hope to extend my patients’ time at home with the best possible health and enjoyment of life as they age.” In her spare time, Holli enjoys workin on her soap and candle business that she’s had for 20 years and spending time with her two daughters as well as her best friend, her mother, who encourages her every step of the way!
HARRIS GROSS
Harris Gross is the owner of Gold Leaf Productions (GLP). “I’ve always had a love for videography but never believed I could make a business out of it,” said Harris. “After going to school for a degree in construction management, I soon realized my heart would never be full unless I was able to create my own business and make my own schedule. I then took the leap to come back home and work with my father with our family business while starting GLP on the side. Gold Leaf Productions is a wedding and farm videography business. Highlighting farms local to North Carolina and filming the most madly in love couples all over. Fast forward a few months, I found out I was pregnant and was distraught not knowing how I could handle everything at once. I then took the leap and jumped into wedding + farm videography full time and have been blessed with so much business since then. If I hadn’t ventured out to taking my business full time, I never would have known how well it truly was going to do. It’s been almost a full year of running GLP full time, and I wouldn’t change a single thing!” In her spare time, Harris enjoys spending time on the farm with her husband riding tractors or out flying her drone to get unique and creative shots to showcase on her Instagram page.
KATIE HUNT
Katie Hunt is the owner of KD Hunt Photography. She has an associate’s degree in business administration. “I became full time after just three months of starting my business as a side job,” said Katie. “I am consistently getting new bookings, creating new relationships and getting to travel!” In her spare time, Katie enjoys reading books, traveling and spending time with family. She has the support of her husband, Elijah, and two children, Levi who is two and a half and Lucas who will be a year old this fall. OPEN YOUR CAMERA APP AND POINT IT HERE TO SCAN
Submit yourself or someone you know
iHeart Radio
*Disclaimer: event details are subject to change. Please check event websites & social media pages for updates as the dates draw near.*
OPEN YOUR CAMERA APP AND POINT IT HERE TO SCAN
submit an event!
NOW THROUGH OCTOBER 1
F45 TRAINING WINSTON-SALEM CHALLENGE
F45 Training Winston-Salem, 486 N Patterson Avenue, Suite 125. Fitness. Nutrition. Accountability: 6-week challenge to bring together exercise and nutrition to help you meet your goals. This is an opportunity to combine your fitness journey with a nutritional guideline to help each participant reach his or her goals. We will be offering pre, mid and post goal meetings with our coaches. This challenge provides all meal plans (mainstream, vegan and vegetarian), and recipes are delicious! If you’re ready to kick start your health, this is a great opportunity. All fitness abilities welcome! Please email the studio for additional information.
SEPTEMBER 1
SCHUBERT TO SHAW – MUSIC CAROLINA SUMMERFEST
7:30pm, Piedmont Music Center, 212 North Broad Street in W-S. The Eno String Quartet and guests perform works by women composers Fanny Mendelssohn and Caroline Shaw, as well as Schubert’s “Trout” Quintet. Cost: $26/person. app.artspeople.com/index.php?show=140772
SEPTEMBER 10
UR AWAKENING DIRECTOR’S CONFERENCE
9am-1pm, UR Coliseum, 4421 Poindexter Street in Walkertown. This is an intimate conference limited to just 100 guests allowing for more meaningful conversations and likeminded professional connections. Every guest at UR Awakening will receive
VIP treatment from the moment they arrive – with access to complimentary welcome reception, gourmet food and wellness experiences. Cost: $199/ person. urcoliseum.com/events
FALL FESTIVAL 2022 AT YOUR HOME MARKETPLACE
9am-6pm, Your Home Marketplace, 670 South Stratford Road in W-S. Come explore our 11,000-square-foot vendor mall, featuring 87 vendors, which will be stocked with new fall merchandise in addition to the other high quality merchandise we offer year-round! One-day-only sales event with discounts of 10%-30% throughout the mall. yourhomemarketplacenc.com
SEPTEMBER 12
KIDS’ MORNING OUT
10-11:30am, Salem Gymnastics & Swim, 4870 Country Club Road in W-S. Free event! Come see all that Salem Gymnastics & Swim has to offer with a variety of individual activity stations and two warm water pools with amazing instructors. If you’d like to give pool a try, don’t forget your bathing suit and towel. Children under 3 must be accompanied by a parent in the pool. And as always, each adult also receives four tickets for the fabulous prize board drawings.
SEPTEMBER 14
GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT
5pm-until…Bermuda Run, 324 Bermuda Run Drive in Bermuda Run. Grab a friend, a neighbor, your sister, your mother, a co-worker and have a muchneeded Girls’ Night Out! Reservations required…$20 per person includes a taco bar, live music by Michael Cheney and a photo booth. As always, each attendee receives four tickets for the fabulous prize board drawings! Please consider bringing school supplies to donate to the Educator Warehouse.
SEPTEMBER 16-17
2022 JOYTIME WOMEN’S RETREAT
Church on 68, 300 NC 68 in Greensboro. Women from across the Triad and beyond are invited to this two-day retreat that will feature Christian author, speaker and radio personality Dr. Joy Green and lead singer of the award-winning band Big Daddy Weave, Mike Weaver. The topic of the event will be “steadfast faith.” Tickets for the retreat are $22-$44/ person and can be purchased through eventbrite.com. FORSYTH COUNTY EXTENSION MASTER GARDENER VOLUNTEERS’ FALL PLANT SALE
8am-2pm, 1450 Fairchild Road in W-S. Annual fall plant sale that is a major fundraiser for the Extension Master Gardener Volunteer Program. Shop early for best selection. Sales are cash or check only. Rain or shine you will find a great selection of native plants, pollinator plants, flowering shrubs and trees.
ABBY BRYANT & THE ECHOES
7:30pm, The Historic Earle Theatre, 142 North Main Street in Mount Airy. Hailing from Gastonia, singer Abby Bryant and guitarist Bailey Faulkner have been hanging out and playing music together since they were kids. The pair has recently cemented their presence as a regional powerhouse with their debut album Not Your Little Girl released with their full group Abby Bryant & The Echoes. Cost: $15/person. eventbrite. com/e/abby-bryant-the-echoestickets-360644967807
WINTER GARDENING WORKSHOP
Minglewood Farm and Nature Preserve, 238 Minglewood Road in Westfield. Get your winter garden started! Participants will learn about the great varieties of vegetables that grow in cooler weather, how to prolong your harvest and help feeding your garden during winter. eventbrite.com/o/minglewood-farmand-nature-preserve-17188338999
SEPTEMBER 23-25
DAMAGED WOMAN’S BLUES
7-9pm (23rd-24th); 12-2pm (25th), SECCA, 750 Marguerite Drive in W-S. Live theatre event.
SEPTEMBER 24
WINSTON-SALEM WALK FOR LIFE
Registration begins at 9am. Walk starts at 10am. Two Cities Church, 854 West Northwest Boulevard in W-S. The Walk for Life is a family friendly event with a short program, a two-mile walk (through the West End neighborhood), kids activities and a hot dog lunch to conclude the day. thepregnancynetwork.org/wswalk
NATURE CRAFT DAY
Minglewood Farm and Nature Preserve, 238 Minglewood Road in Westfield. Join us for a day of nature crafts! Trails will be open for hiking. In this event, you’ll find art projects using simple natural elements like pine cones, leaves, rocks and twigs. You’ll love getting crafty with these natural materials. This program is donation-based. Visit our website to learn more about our mission and upcoming opportunities (minglewoodpreserve. org). eventbrite.com/o/minglewoodfarm-and-nature-preserve-17188338999
The Historic Earle Theatre, 142 North Main Street in Mount Airy. Katie Deal takes the stage with her powerful one-women concert featuring her rockin’ Nashville band. This original tribute honors legends such as Loretta Lynn, Patsy Cline, Dolly Parton, Tammy Wynette, Reba McEntire, Crystal Gayle, Shania Twain, Kitty Wells and many more. Cost: $40/person. eventbrite. com/e/wildflowers-the-women-ofcountry-music-starring-katie-deal-2022tickets-314773966407
SEPTEMBER 28
MONARCH HIRING FAIR
11am-6pm, Best Western Hotel, 3330 Silas Creek Parkway. If you have a passion, we have a place for you! Hiring enhanced services and care management professionals. On-site interviews. monarchnc.org
FUTURE
SEPTEMBER 30-OCTOBER 9
CAROLINA CLASSIC FAIR
Ridin’, Rockin’, Livestockin’. Buy tickets early and save!
OCTOBER 1
2022 TOUR DE BOUTIQUE
$40 includes a swag bag with an exclusive FW gift just for you! You’ll receive door prize tickets, and the more stores you visit on the tour, the more opportunities you’ll have to win! Also, every store on the trip is going to have special sales, exclusive to Forsyth Woman’s Tour de Boutique shoppers! Grab your mom, your sister, your coworkers, your best friends, your neighbor and join us for another shop-til-you-drop adventure! Shop ‘til you drop, stimulate the local economy...even get a jump start on your Christmas shopping! Then, wait for us to call you to tell you if you won any prizes throughout the day! *Winners notified by October 4th. Register at tinyurl.com/2022TDB.
From as far back as I can remember, I’ve been a people-pleaser. If there was a meeting like AA for peoplepleasers, I’d be there every time they opened the doors. Yes, I am that bad, or was that bad. Growing up as an only child, I was always trying to make my parents happy, since most of the time they were arguing, I figured if I did everything possible to please them, from good grades, to not causing any issues at school or at home, life would be easier for us all. Unfortunately, I didn’t outgrow that need to make everyone, except me, happy and I took it into my marriage and other relationships. Anytime anyone was slightly upset or perturbed with me, I’d bend over backwards to make things right at the cost of myself. But within the past few years, I’ve put a stop to that and am now seeing the world didn’t fall off its axis because I stuck up for myself and did what I wanted to on occasion. So what happened when I stopped being the people-pleaser everyone had grown accustomed to? I am so glad you asked!
RELATIONSHIPS CHANGE WHEN WE CHANGE
As a recovering people-pleaser, it made sense that when I made a change this drastic, not all of my relationships would hold up. Some people are in a relationship with me for what they can get out of it. As I grow and set boundaries, some connections with others may not feel right anymore. But remember that people-pleasers usually attract those who take advantage of them, so losing them from your life is actually a positive.
CHANGE IS NEVER EASY
Once I decided to pull the plug on making everyone else happy, I came down with a bad case of self-doubt, second guessing that ending a certain relationship was the right thing to do. It’s challenging to change, leave a familiar situation for an unfamiliar one…that’s the way most of us are wired.
People-pleasers tend to be very sensitive to guilt and self-doubt. Ending any relationship can bring on feelings of ‘was that the right decision?’ but in the end, with a little distance, you will see that no longer being in that relationship that caused you so much anxiety is a good thing.
Being a People-Pleaser?’ BY REBECCA COOPER
THE ONLY CONSTANT IN LIFE IS CHANGE
Change is the only constant in life; we change our environments, situations, and circumstances and so do others. We aren’t static in our lives - some sort of change is always happening. For this reason, it is unrealistic to believe that our relationships won’t change; sometimes we grow closer to others and sometimes we grow apart. In the end, the perspective I keep is that sometimes it is necessary to end relationships to make room for connections that better align with our beliefs and stage in life. Being a people-pleaser is draining and you are always jumping through hoops for others, making their lives easier, all the while setting your needs aside. Remember, you are as important in a relationship as the other person and if the other person can’t see that, it’s not much of a friendship.
Marzano Captial Group
